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London, 06.04.2014

 

“For fuck’s sake, Matthew!”

Dom was pacing through their living room, looking at the door to the bathroom before he took another round and ended up back in front of it again. They’d fucking miss their ride if the brunette didn’t hurry the fuck up.

“I’m almost done, don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“I’m not getting my knickers in a twist!” the drummer protested and pushed the door hiding the brunette open. “You call that almost done?”

Matt was standing in front of the mirror, razor in one hand while the other massaged shaving cream into the skin of his chin and jaw. He was not only barefoot but also shirtless, which didn’t go unnoticed by the drummer. Grey eyes trailed over the exposed collarbone, the pale skin stretching over muscles and sinews, two dark nipples begging to be licked. It was safe to say he was momentarily distracted.

“It is!” Matt protested and brought Dom back into reality, the blonde ducking away when Matt swung the razor in a typical Bellamy gesture of articulating.

“Come on, you silly moose. Give me that razor.”

Without waiting he grabbed it out of Matt’s hands and pushed him towards the edge of the bathtub, making him sit on the rim. He pushed the brunette’s chin up a bit to get better access, then started to shave alongside his jaw.

“I could have done that myself,” Matt argued, but didn’t move away.

“Stop twitching!” Dom chided him, but continued without a halt. “And you could have, but we’d still be here tomorrow.”

When Matt opened his mouth to speak up again, clearly an insult on the tip of his tongue, he added in a much quieter voice, “Plus, I really like doing this. Taking care of you. I like pampering you.”

The singer’s mouth snapped shut then, a small smile gracing his lips. The look he gave Dom was so full of adoration that the drummer had to look away. He still didn’t deal well with it, no matter how much he longed to see it again. It made his stomach roll in the most pleasant ways and gave him a dizziness he couldn’t shake easily. He was clearly a lost cause.

He finished the task and grabbed a towel to clean the remaining shaving cream off, the typical Bellamy goatee now gracing the singer’s face.

“There, you look decent again. One could even think you’re a proper gentleman instead of a dirty tramp.”

“Piss off!”

The towel was slung around the back of the singer’s neck and Dom pulled him towards his own body, kissing him softly. Matt responded immediately, one hand raising to touch Dom’s cheek, the other squeezing his waist. His pointy tongue slid inside the blonde’s mouth with ease and Dom let him dominate him without putting up any fight. There was even less fight involved when 2 calloused hands moved to grab his bum and massaged the cheeks vigorously.

Matt released his mouth and Dom gasped for air, trying to get his brain to work. He looked at Matt with half lidded eyes and tried really hard to ignore the lustful look the singer was giving him.

“We need to-”

“-get to the bedroom, I agree.” Matt grinned and dived back in. He pushed his groin forward, both gasping at the contact. His hips started to sway in the rhythm of his tongue up above.

“No, Matt. The show. We need to get ready.”

The brunette hummed against his lips before his mouth trailed downwards to the blonde’s neck to suck on his pulsepoint. “I can give you a show you won’t forget, baby.”

Dom, still trying to keep up conscious thought, shook his head. “No, no. Stop, we need to… to… Oh shit, yes.”

He abandoned his last shred of resolve when talented fingers touched his cock through his pants. Matt knew how to push his buttons, and Dom could do nothing but accept it. His loud moan echoed through the bathroom when he threw his head back in pleasure. The singer’s mouth left his neck to continue its journey downwards, then. He trailed his tongue along his collarbone, licking it with passion. The hand that wasn’t occupied with Dom’s dick travelled to the top buttons of his shirt and popped them open before moving onto one of his nipples, teasing the bud lightly.

Another moan escaped the drummer’s lips when Matt’s tongue travelled further down and both hands let go of him to grab his hips instead. The promise of what was to come, with Matt almost kneeling in front of him, was too much to take and he feared he’d come on the spot before the main course had even been served.

“You’re right,” the brunette suddenly exclaimed and let go of Dom, pushing himself back into a standing position. The drummer whined in response and pawed at the pale chest that was now back in front of him, Matt laughing manically at his childish behaviour. “Come on.”

“Nooooo! Matt, what are you doing?” The brunette in question was busy putting on his shirt and buttoning it up. “Stop, why are you getting dressed?”

“The show? You just said we have to get ready.”

“But-”

“Sorry, Dom. Show.”

Dom whined. “Remind me again why I love you?”

“Because I’m a good looking, honorable gentleman.”

“You’re a stupid wanker, that’s what you are.”

“And yet, you still love me,” Matt said and winked at him before he left the bathroom to collect his socks and shoes.

Dom looked after him and smiled to himself. When Matt was out of sight he put the razor and shaving cream away and tidied up. One day he’d teach the singer to keep the bathroom - or any room, really - clean when he worked in it. Seeing as they had officially moved in together it was a necessity to teach him some manners or Dom would sooner or later go insane. He picked up a stray towel and put it on the rack, only then he was satisfied with the state of the room. The fact that his erection had vanished due to the distraction was a nice bonus, and he felt ready to leave without the danger of jumping Matt as soon as he laid his eyes on him (not that it was literally dangerous, or even something negative, but kind of counter-productive when you wanted to leave the house in time).  

He looked himself over in the mirror and fingered his hair to get some strands back into position before he left the bathroom and sat down in the armchair located in the den. He sighed heavily and looked out of the window.

Now that the arousal had left his body Dom felt himself becoming nervous again. They were going to do a gig at the Royal Albert Hall tonight, their first proper appearance since the events of last year. They had managed to dodge interviews and paparazzi surprisingly well, not only while Matt had struggled with therapy but also during their studio time. Tonight, however, they wouldn’t be able to escape the many questions and observant eyes.

Matt had actually suggested this small one-off show, a charity gig with all earnings going to the Mind charity that dealt with mental health issues. Although different from what they usually supported, Dom had immediately jumped at the singer’s idea, knowing fully well just how important it was that there were people taking care, not only of those dealing with mental issues, but also their friends and family. He himself would forever be grateful that they had gotten all the support they could ever have asked for when they had dealt with Matt’s PTSD.  

He looked to the side when he heard footsteps coming from the staircase. Sure enough Matt’s body came into view, now fully dressed in a dark blue suit jacket hugging his upper body. Dom rose from the chair and walked towards the singer, watching him fumble with the cuffs nervously, the bravado from before flown out of the window.

Wordlessly, Dom grabbed Matt’s underarm and pulled him closer before he buttoned up the cuff. Once done, Matt raised his arm to let the drummer do the other side as well.

“Dom?”

The drummer looked up from the cuffs to stare into vulnerable blue eyes.

“It will be okay, right?”

“Of course,” he said reassuringly. “It will all be alright. We’ll go in there, own that gig, talk for a bit and then go home.”

Matt hummed in reply, not actually convinced.

“Hey.” Dom let go of the singer’s hands to push up his chin, giving Matt no choice but to look into his eyes. “You’re going to blow them away. You’ll be fine.”

He moved his hand to Matt’s neck, caressing the soft skin there and feeling his heartbeat thumping underneath. Their hands locked, the rest of the conversation taking place solely through gestures.

Blue eyes staring into grey depths intently. I’m scared.

A tilt of the head. So am I.

A peck on the corner of his mouth. Stay with me.

A cheek pressed to another cheek. You’re not alone.

A proper kiss this time. I love you.

Arms looping around a skinny body. I’ll never let you go.

They smiled against each other’s lips until Dom let go of the singer and took a step backwards, looking into his eyes. He looked a lot calmer now, albeit still a bit nervous. Dom could only guess that Matt would read the same in his.

“Let’s go, or Chris will be pissed.”

Matt giggled softly and nodded, his small bout of doubt having passed for the time being.

“I’m actually pretty tempted to rile him up.”

“Please don’t,” Dom begged and giggled himself. “I really don’t want to pull your head out of the toilet. Or your arse.”

The brunette pouted at that before he scrunched up his nose, probably conjuring a mental image of his head stuck god knows where. Then he broke into another fit of giggles and poked Dom in the ribs, who squeaked loudly.

“Come on now, twatface,” Matt said sweetly and made his way to the door. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at Dom. The latter hadn’t moved a single step, much more interested in watching the brunette. He walked back to take Dom’s hand and pulled him with him without another word.

 

___

 

“Half an hour to go, everyone!” Tom shouted as he hurried through the wide and busy corridor, and shortly after came to a halt in the open door of Matt’s dressing room.

The singer was seated on the couch, his attention apparently completely elsewhere, as his fingers flew through the air in front of him, touching invisible piano keys.

“Hey,” came Dom’s excited voice from down the corridor as he approached with a spring in his step.

“There you are,” Tom smiled. “Thought you’d be here with Matt. Is he alright?” The taller brunette nodded his head in Matt’s direction and Dom snuck a look around the corner into the room.

“Yeah, just went to take a piss,” he shrugged and smiled softly at the sight of his boyfriend. “He’s good. He’s been doing that every few minutes ever since the soundcheck. Said it helps him go through the songs again.”

“Ah, one of his musical-genius things,” Tom chuckled, highly amused by the fact that their friend was completely oblivious to his surroundings. “Thought I knew them all by now.”

“Nah, this one is new,” Dom replied and squeezed past Tom into the room.

“27 minutes,” the photographer reminded him with another look at his watch and then hurried off, looking as important as humanly possible so no one tried to stop him.

“He’s probably gonna bother the rest of the crew about the time now, isn’t he?” Matt laughed quietly and Dom slumped down next to him, a little surprised Matt hadn’t zoned out completely, after all.

“Knowing Tom… yes,” Dom chuckled and put an arm up on the back of the couch, starting to gently ruffle the hair at the nape of Matt’s neck. “Are you alright?”

At that Matt rolled his eyes but smiled fondly. “Seriously Dom, you start to sound like a broken record. I’m good.”

“Yeah, maybe. But I know you and you know me , so you’ll have to deal with me asking at least five more times before we need to get on stage.”

“Guess I could have it worse,” Matt grinned and leant into the touch of Dom’s hand.

“Sorry to interrupt,” came a voice from the door and both men turned in their seats to find Chris standing in the doorway, “but Tom kindly asked me to tell you that we’ve got 20 minutes to go. And with kindly asked I mean loudly ordered.”

“Why’s he acting like we’ve never played a gig before?” the singer asked. “I know it’s been a while but procedures haven’t changed, have they? It’s still get on stage, play songs, make them swoon and throw a guitar at Dom, right?”

“Well, actually-” Dom started, not completely convinced by Matt’s bravado, but sensing a chance to save his delicate skin for once.

“Yes, exactly,” Chris cut him short and shared a laugh with the singer at Dom’s consternation. “Although it might be a good idea to make it up to him afterwards.”

“Would be great if you didn’t start throwing things at me again in the first place,” Dom butted in, but Matt simply waved him off.

“You know that I’m not my level-headed, rational self when I’m on stage.”

“When are you ever?”

“Okay, see you in a few,” Chris interrupted their bantering with a laugh and pulled out his phone that had just started ringing. “Kelly and the kids just arrived. I’m gonna pick them up at the backstage entrance.”

Dom grinned and Matt just saluted Chris in an exaggerated gesture. “Don’t forget to get to the stage in time or Tom will have your head on a stick.”

After the bassist had left Matt got up and walked over to his suitcase. He knelt down in front of it and started rummaging through it, his back to Dom. The latter leant forward, still seated on the couch, and supported his elbows on his knees while intently looking at his boyfriend. The movement stopped suddenly and the singer was frozen on the spot. Dom cocked his head and waited.

“Matt?” he asked gently when the singer hadn’t moved for quite some time.

“What if I fuck it up? What if I can’t play? What if I disappoint them? You?” Dom could see a violent shudder running through the small body.

Dom jumped up immediately and went to kneel beside him. He proceeded to put his hand to the back of Matt’s neck, rubbing it soothingly. Somehow he had expected it, but the sudden insecurity in Matt’s voice still took him by surprise.

“What are you talking about? You could never disappoint them. Or Chris and me, for that matter. You’re going to be as brilliant as ever, I know it.”

Matt turned his face towards him, looking timid and in dire need of confirmation. “How?”

“How I know that?” Dom asked and smiled softly at Matt’s hesitant nod. “It’s quite simple, really. I know you for starters. I know that, no matter what, you’re going to get out there and make that stage yours. That’s what you always do. You always rise above all the obstacles. It’s who you are and nothing can change that. And even if you thought you couldn’t and decided to stop making music after all, you could never disappoint me. You’d still be the same engaging, loveable and passionate man, the Matt I have fallen in love with.”

Matt’s smile grew a bit wider at that and he shoved Dom’s shoulder lightly. “You know that I have to tell you that you’re getting really soppy in your old age, right?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged and pressed a kiss to the other man’s temple. “I know.”

The brunette’s eyes dropped to the ground then and he whispered, “Thank you, though.” The gratefulness shone through in his voice and Dom’s lips turned upwards, a bit of colour tinting his cheeks.

“Ten minutes!” came another loud and more nervous shout from the hallway and the two musicians smiled at each other.

“Guess it’s time to work some magic.” Dom clapped his hands to his thighs and got up again. “You ready?”

“Not sure,” Matt replied and for a second Dom’s heart sank again. But then the singer looked up at him, reached his hand out for Dom take, and said, “We’ll just need to get on stage and see.”

“Sounds good to me,” the drummer beamed and pulled the other man to his feet. “Let’s go and see.”

Together the two men left the dressing room. By now the hallway was a lot quieter than it had been a few minutes ago. Most of the crew were already behind or around the stage, all getting ready for their first show since Helsinki.

Chris caught up with them then, smiling and putting his arms around their respective shoulders. Dom and Matt each looped an arm around his waist and intertwined their fingers behind the taller man’s back. They remained quiet as they walked down the hallway like that, not feeling the need for words. They all knew the importance of this moment. It was their final step back to how things used to be, back to normality.

From the side of the stage they could see the lights dimming and hear the crowd shouting for them. Matt stepped in front of both Dom and Chris and glanced backwards to his friends one more time before he jumped out and shouted something into his mic. Dom and Chris both grinned, then joined their singer while the spotlights were turned on and pointed on them.

 

___

 

“Has anyone seen Matt?”

Dom was walking through the backstage area after their gig, trying to locate the singer. After they had finished the setlist they’d gone back to the dressing room together, but Matt had apparently slipped out shortly after.

The show itself had been a huge success. The crowd had gone crazy over the setlist, which had been more on the rocky side of their spectrum, and they themselves had been more than happy to perform. Maybe it was because they hadn’t been on stage in a long time, but it seemed like they had been surrounded by a special energy that night.

Now, however, Matt seemed to have vanished into thin air. Dom wasn’t worried that Matt would do anything stupid, not at all, but maybe now that the adrenaline had mostly worn off the singer felt all the pressure and worries nagging at him again. After going through a rollercoaster of confidence the whole day the drummer wouldn’t be surprised if he found him back in a slump now. Whatever the reason was, he needed to make sure that Matt was or would be okay, then he’d leave him alone if that’s what he wanted.

“Matt? He just went outside a couple of minutes ago,” one of the techies told him and Dom went in the direction he pointed him at.

He pushed through several people packing their belongings, mostly wardrobe related and much to Dom’s embarrassment mostly his stuff, until the area cleared and he was faced with the fire exit. He pushed the door open carefully and stepped outside, a soft spring breeze immediately hitting his face.

The singer was leaning against the wall a couple of steps away from the door, his head tipped backwards so he could observe the stars. His right hand was raised to his mouth, a half gone cigarette poised between his pointer and middle finger. Dom watched him take a long drag before he exhaled the smoke and then turned his head towards the drummer, who took it as an invitation to join him when no word of protest was uttered. He closed the door to give them privacy and walked slowly over to Matt. He pushed his back to the wall next to him and studied his face.

“Alright?” he asked quietly.

Matt hummed in reply and offered the fag to Dom by pushing it against his lips. The blonde complied and inhaled deeply, his gaze moving upwards to the sky.

He felt so peaceful out there, the quietness such a stark contrast to the hectic life buzzing on the other side of the fire exit door. It was surprisingly warm for a spring night in London and the sky was almost cloudless, giving a wonderful view of the stars that were visible even through the light pollution caused by the busy city.   

“‘s nice,” he commented.

Meanwhile, Matt moved closer to Dom so he could bump their heads together. “Sorry I bailed on you like that. Just needed a couple of minutes to myself.”

“‘s okay,” Dom said. Grinning, he added, “I was just worried that you needed another cuddle.”

“Fuck off,” the smaller man grumbled and bumped his head into Dom’s forcefully. The drummer’s exclamation and string of expletives satisfied him only temporarily until aggressive fingers poked his ribs.

“You’re a downright nuisance!”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know what you signed up for!” Matt giggled but didn’t need long until he calmed down again after Dom spared him another attack. The gig really had taken its toll on them and the quiet around them seemed to have its effect on the two musicians, as well. Matt took another drag from the cigarette and then handed it to the blonde to do the same.

“I know exactly what I have signed up for,” Dom whispered into the smoke he’d just blown through his lips.

Matt fumbled around with Dom’s hand to get the remnants of the cigarette from his fingers. He took one last, long drag from it and then stumped it out under his heel.

“‘twas a good gig, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly, his gaze still directed upwards.

“It was a great gig,” Dom replied enthusiastically. “You were amazing. So was the crowd. And the crew. And Chris and I, we were great, too.”

A soft giggle escaped the smaller man’s lips as he nodded and turned to his boyfriend again. “You know that I couldn’t have done it without you, right?”

Dom sniggered and put an arm around Matt’s shoulder. “Well, sometimes I think you’d make a very entertaining one-man show.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, twat,” Matt retorted without much force behind his words. “This whole… everything .” He moved his arms around, gesturing in his usual manner when he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words.

“Matt, shut up.” The smile was obvious in Dom’s voice, but he still meant it. “You’ve thanked me enough. But you couldn’t have done it without yourself, either. It’s not like I did all the work.”

“Yeah,” Matt sighed and leant into Dom. “It’s all a bit surreal, though. To be back, I mean. Everything feels different, although nothing really is, you know? I’m still a bit scared, but tonight I realised that this is good. Being back out there, coming out of my shell again, it helps.”

Dom just kept smiling and pressed his nose into the mess that was Matt’s hair. “I hoped it would.”

For a few minutes they fell back into silence. They could hear the low murmuring of people and the odd car driving by while they both revelled in each other’s presence. But, Matt being Matt, he couldn’t stay still for much longer and so he wriggled himself out of Dom’s embrace and went to lean on the balustrade in front of them. Dom eyed him curiously until a low laugh erupted from the smaller man. The drummer proceeded to stand beside him, giggling without knowing what was going on. Matt’s laugh was just that infectious.

“It’s all a bit cliché, isn’t it? The happy ending after the long struggle?”

“Yeah, but what can you do?” Dom grinned broadly. “Clichés are clichés for a reason. There is something beautiful to them. Besides, this is not the typical ending of any old movie. We’ve got years and years ahead of us. As a band, as mates, as a family, and as-”

“Oi, stop there,” Matt laughed, almost hysterical now. “You’re just making it worse!”

“Piss off.”

His laugh quieted down then, only a chuckle left, and he said softly, “You’re such a romantic, Dom.”

The blonde smiled to himself and didn’t bother to correct Matt. In a way the singer was right. If Dom could, he’d wine and dine him every day and make him feel like the most important person on earth. Which he was to Dom, to be quite honest. If that wasn’t romantic - and, admittedly, really gay - then he didn’t know.  

“Not bad…” Matt continued quietly and paused for effect, Dom taking his hand to squeeze it. “... for a whore like you.”

“You’re such a wanker, Matt,” Dom exclaimed and pulled the singer towards him, embracing him to poke his sides vigorously.

The shrill giggle that followed could probably be heard throughout the whole city.

 

~ Fin ~