"Jade, over here!"
"Look this way, Jade!"
Oh, yeah. Story of my life.
My name's Jade Chan, and I'm thirteen years old. Sometimes I like being a Hollywood icon. Other times, it's not exactly very glamorous. Usually the tabloids go crazy over me, probably because I have charm, and of course, charisma. However, like all celebs, I also find the "stalkerazzi" - as my celebrity friends and I call them - kind of annoying. They make up all these stories instead of listening to and searching for cold hard facts.
As an icon in Tinseltown (another name for Hollywood), I try my best to be careful. There are so many temptations that can lure somebody in - drugs, alcohol, and all kinds of bad things. For me, those things mean trouble.
So I drink soda instead of alcohol (as I'm only thirteen, and soda tastes much better than alcohol any day), write poems instead of trying drugs, and sometimes sell jewelery to my celebrity friends instead of having all these run-ins with the law (which in Hollywood usually means having a mug shot taken that's then shown around the world instead of being kept private), as writing poetry and selling jewellery are both neat and very ingenious!
Anyway, I love hanging out with my celebrity friends, as it's so cool. Also, real friends hang out with each other and do stuff with each other too.
Whenever I go to nightclubs (which I am allowed in as the bouncers know me, and everyone of all ages is allowed in), I usually have a Coca-Cola, which tastes fantastic.
One night while I was at one of the nightclubs - called "The Dance Floor", which is a cool name in my opinion - I was sitting at a table that was in a room 10 feet away from the dance floor. Luckily, the music wasn't too loud, so I was able to hear all sorts of conversation.
Then I looked up, and smiled. There was Lindsay Lohan, heading my way. She was wearing a red T-shirt covered by a blue coat, black Levis and white-and-blue striped shoes. In my view, she looked fantastic!
"Hey Jade!" she said, all smiles as we hugged. "How's it going?"
"Pretty good," I replied, returning her smile. "How are things with... your parents?"
Ever since I had asked her about her parents the day we had met a few months ago, she would often update me on how they were.
"They're doing OK for now," she said as she sat down next to me, "but I have a bad feeling that something is going to happen."
"Really?" I asked. She nodded. "Hmm... sort of like what happened in the Disney remake 'The Parent Trap', where the parents of twins Hallie Parker and Annie James - played by you - get divorced, and they split Hallie and Annie up?"
"Exactly," said Lindsay. "I'm glad you remember that film. And I especially love the part where Hallie and Annie play tricks on their dad's gold-digging fiancee, Meredith Blake. I think they probably had gotten ideas for the pranks they pulled on her from remembering all the stuff they had pulled on each other at the summer camp where they met - before they were sent to the Isolation Cabin to work things out between each other, and learned they were actually twin sisters who had been separated at birth, of course."
I nodded. "I love that part, too. It's so cool, as well as very ingenious!"
She also agreed. "Me too. Oh, I also came across this story about me and my dad, and I thought I'd share it with you."
She reached into her purse and pulled out an article she'd printed off the Internet and handed it to me.
I cleared my throat and began to read it...