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Congrats on Your Everything (Not You, Jeff)

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Ryan is torn, really honestly torn, between driving like a reasonable human being for the few extra miles left between him and home, and speeding the fuck up and possibly killing them all. He’s too keyed up on the win to be tired, but his muscles are weighted down by two straight days of hockey, and he knows his reflexes are just starting to go to shit. On the other hand, Elias and Jeff won’t stop making noises in the back of his goddamn truck.

“Why do I always have to fucking drive?” he shouts.

The slick squelch of mouths sliding over each other is his only answer. And Elias’ giggle.

“I hate you both,” he mutters.

Jeff apparently detaches for a second, because he says, “Hey, I got a hatty.”

“Last night!” Ryan says furiously. “You got laid for it last night!”

“And Elias got some points tonight. First star, buddy, you should be more understanding.” His voice is lazy and smug. Elias is giggling, kind of muffled, like maybe his face is pressed to Jeff’s shoulder, the two of them curled together in the back seat. Ryan can’t really see him, only the top of Jeff’s head, so they probably are cuddling.

And, from the noises they’ve started making again, definitely kissing.

This is deeply unfair.


He doesn’t murder them on the way home, even though he’s driving a little faster than he probably should, and what does that get him? They won’t even get out of the car into the parking lot. He yanks the back door open.

“Oh, hey, Ryan,” Elias says, blinking up at him from behind Jeff. His face has been that flushed since he scored that goal, but his lips look a lot more thoroughly bitten than they did when he got in the car. Goddamnit, Jeff.

Elias grins, and reaches for Ryan, which is not the point, they are home, and he’s not trying to fit the three of them into the back of his truck again.

“Upstairs,” he says firmly.

Jeff makes a face, pulling Elias closer against his side. He smiles wide, the innocent look he’s been using to get away with things for as long as Ryan’s known him, and reaches for Ryan too.

“That doesn’t work, you are older than me,” Ryan grumbles, pulling out of their grip and stalking off toward the door. He can hear them tumbling out of the car behind him, and relieves his feelings by locking the vehicle so that it honks loudly and startlingly when they shut the door.

“Ryan,” Elias says, coming up behind him, his accent drawing out the vowels into something soft and pleading, though he’s giggling behind the words as he knocks into Ryan, hugging him around the shoulders.

“You’re such a good driver,” Jeff says insincerely, coming up on Ryan’s other side to grin at him like he doesn’t have the beginnings of a hickey on his neck.

Ryan scowls at them both and stomps off to the elevator. He glares at them from beside the button panel when they get on, leaning into each other, Jeff’s hand on Elias’ waist. Jeff snickers. Ryan refuses to notice them.

He’s unlocking his front door when Elias leans over his shoulder, pressing into his space. He’s very comfortable; Ryan only grumbles slightly. He’s not quite expecting it when Elias pushes him through the door and up against the wall to kiss him, but he isn’t actually pissy enough to not enjoy it. His head tips back into the wall, but Elias’ mouth is sweet and wet, his hands practically vibrating with excitement on Ryan’s shoulders.

“Congrats,” Ryan says, looking up at Elias, who ducks his head, ears going even redder, and bites his lip like that does anything at all to disguise his giant smile. Jeff, across the room and hidden by Elias’ shoulders, laughs, and Ryan tugs on Elias’ belt loops to pull him closer.

When they break their kiss, Jeff’s leaning on the wall beside them, watching, eyes crinkled in a smile. “Hey,” he says, one corner of his mouth twitching up, “You gonna congratulate him properly or what.”

“He’s doing okay,” Elias says, touching his tongue to the mark Ryan made on his lip.

“But he could do better,” Jeff says. He’s trying to look innocent again, and, what’s worse, Elias’ eyes are getting wide, like he’s falling for it.

“Well, if you let me get my damn shoes off, I can go blow you or something,” Ryan says, leaning back in to kiss Elias again. Elias nods eagerly. Jeff is probably looking smug again, but Ryan can just ignore him.

Less so when Jeff grabs his ass as he’s bending over to undo his shoes, but that’s okay too, and Elias looks so damn happy when Ryan retaliates, beaming at the two of them like he’ll burst, that Ryan may as well kiss Jeff because they’re clearly doing this. Not that he ever really believed they weren’t, but he does have some pride.

“I meant it about congratulations,” Jeff says as they all tumble onto Ryan’s bed.

“So did I,” Ryan says with an elbow to Elias’ side. He feels more relaxed now that he’s not driving, everyone touching in a tangle of knees and elbows.

“Sure,” Elias says into the silence, and Ryan rolls over to kiss him. By the time Elias is panting, hips twitching upwards where Ryan’s pressing him down, Jeff’s leaning over Ryan’s shoulder again.

“My turn,” he says into Ryan’s ear, nudging him aside, which is okay, because Ryan needs to deal with Elias’ belt anyway.

He watches for a moment first: Jeff’s hands careful on Elias’ jaw, the flush on both of their cheeks, Elias’ tongue flickering pink against Jeff’s mouth, but Elias is still shaking under Ryan’s hand on his hipbone and Ryan can make him make better noises than that. He pulls Elias’ zipper down slowly, mouths at his dick, and hears him say, “oh my god,” distinctly as Jeff giggles.

Elias lifts his hips helpfully, and Ryan can get behind that. He tugs Elias' pants down, and would probably leave them in a crumpled mess around his ankles if Elias didn't fold his legs up and kick them off, Jeff still leaning over him, obscuring their kiss behind his back, Elias' hands clenching and unclenching in Jeff's shirt.

Jeff swears when Ryan licks wetly down Elias' cock, and Ryan suspects Elias still hasn't remembered that he has to cut his nails if he wants to claw at them like this, but looking up would mean moving, and he doesn't want to do that. Elias' hips twitch as Ryan sucks him down, his noises muffled by Jeff's kisses, but the muscles of his stomach jump with every flick of Ryan's tongue.

His hips are moving in little circles, holding back from politeness, but his thighs spread wider around Ryan's shoulders like he's begging, and he shivers gratifyingly when Ryan strokes along the smoothness of his inner thigh. His gasp when Ryan cups his balls is audible, despite Jeff's best efforts, but it's not as satisfying as the smooth rhythm of it as Ryan bobs on his dick. It's a little sloppy, Ryan's lips wet when they brush against his fist around the base of Elias' dick.

Ryan's half-hard in his pants, not urgent, but noticeable. He rubs down against the bed, which isn't good enough at all, but his other hand is busy holding Elias' hips down, as his motion becomes more insistent, the muscles of his thighs winding tighter and tighter. Ryan presses down harder, his thumb stroking down the crease of Elias' thigh, and Elias jerks abruptly against him, pulsing warm into Ryan's mouth. Ryan swallows around him, Elias swearing above him, voice a little cracked.

Elias' dick is starting to go soft in Ryan's mouth before Elias makes him stop, and Ryan looks up into his flushed face as he sits up on his elbows, his unbuttoned shirt falling off his shoulders. Jeff leans against his shoulder, his grin wide like he had anything to do with that at all.

"You've got-" Jeff says, leaning forward to kiss the spit-slick corner of Ryan's mouth. His own mouth is red and puffy, well-kissed by Elias and he licks into Ryan like he's sinking in. Ryan leans up to kiss him better, rising to his knees, and groans when Jeff runs a hand over his semi through his pants.

Jeff rolls his spine into it when Ryan cups his hand around the back of his neck, nipping at Ryan's lip. Elias digs a knee into Ryan's side.

"Hey," he says when Ryan looks at him. "Unfair. Share." He makes grabby hands in their general direction, and Ryan does know exactly how much he likes to cuddle after sex. Jeff unbuttoned Ryan's shirt while they kissed, and he pushes it off his shoulders as Ryan lowers himself down to lie by Elias, who wraps an arm around him, and hums happily into his mouth.

Ryan rolls to his side with Jeff's gentle push, and wrinkles his nose at the smugness on Jeff's face, turning back to Elias' soft, lazy kisses as Jeff kneels between his legs, hands on Ryan's belt. Ryan's being petty, he knows that, is completely aware of and at peace with this, but also Jeff is spectacularly easy to goad into really raising his game.

Looked at in that light, Ryan's basically doing him a favour. Or something. It's a little hard to keep his mind on track. Jeff's not one for the slow tease, or even waiting to do more than yank open Ryan's pants, pulling his boxers aside just enough, the elastic still brushing up against his balls as Jeff’s hand wraps around him.

There isn't even a slide; it feels like Ryan's dick is halfway in Jeff's mouth right off the bat. He bucks with it, hissing into Elias' mouth when Jeff's hand tightens around the base of his dick, holding him back. The corners of Elias' mouth twitch up, he kisses the edge of Ryan's lip, his cheek, curling into his side, nose against his temple. Ryan can feel him there, soft touches in his hairline, as Jeff's tongue swirls over the head of his cock, and Ryan's eyes snap shut as he jerks up into it.

Jeff pinches his thigh, moving down again until the wet heat of his mouth hits his firm grip on Ryan's dick. His head's not moving, but Ryan could honestly die of the suction, waves of it, Jeff's cheeks probably hollowed around him, his dimple vanished. Ryan's hips can't stop moving, ragged thrusts against Jeff's solid weight.

He can't get enough air, no matter how he breathes, still clinging to Elias, whose hand in his hair is almost too much. They're cheek to cheek, close enough to hear Elias' happy noises, even over the sound of Ryan's breathing. He wonders if Elias is watching Jeff: if he is, it sounds like he's enjoying it, but Ryan can't force his eyes open, can't do anything but twitch his way to coming, muscles spiking as he spurts into Jeff's mouth.

Jeff's tongue is soft against Ryan's over-sensitive dick, licking him clean, and it still almost hurts. He reaches down to touch Jeff and Jeff leans into it for a second, the curve of his ear warm against Ryan's hand.

Ryan could happily lie here forever with Elias against his shoulder and Jeff between his legs, but Elias must have recovered some because he's pulling Jeff up, squeezing him between the two of them, the wet smack of kisses in Ryan's ear again. His brain's still fizzing contentedly, but he wraps himself around Jeff's back, slotting their hips together. His eyes are still shut as he noses at the nape of Jeff's neck, but Jeff starts shaking, and he's pretty sure Elias is jerking him off.

His fingers are clumsy as he tugs on Jeff's shirt, untucking it to rest his hand on bare skin, his thumb sliding over Jeff's hipbone. Jeff shivers, shaking harder now, his hips moving harder now, rocking forward into Elias' grip and back against Ryan. He swears, loud in the tight space the three of them are occupying; Elias might be saying something in reply, but he's quieter than Ryan can hear, overlaid with Jeff's voice and the rustle of clothing as the three of them brush against each other, packed tight.

Jeff arches stiff when he comes, his head knocking backwards into Ryan's, and he grumbles through the aftershocks as Ryan snickers into the back of his neck. Elias pets them both, reaching around Jeff's shoulder to touch Ryan's face, stroking along his jaw. He presses back when Ryan kisses his fingers, and Jeff tangles their legs together.

He's still breathing hard, squashed between Ryan and Elias. All three of them move with it, almost a unit like this, even with their half-removed clothes bunching between them. Jeff's heat bleeds through, all along where Ryan's spooning him, and Ryan warms his nose in Jeff's hair.

"Do either of you want food?" Elias says after a while, cutting through Ryan's squishy afterglow.

"Help yourself," Ryan says, aiming a pat he can't see at Elias' side.

"Eatng alone isn't as fun," he says sadly, which is the worst of letting him get his sex-dumb over with first. Jeff rolls to his back, still red-faced, when Ryan sits up. He scowls at the two of them, the expression morphing into resigned fondness when Elias grins encouragingly at him, propping himself up on an elbow.

They stick in the doorway as they try to leave the room, Ryan taking advantage of the muddle to kiss Jeff, licking into his mouth and tasting the faint edge of himself still on Jeff's tongue. Elias laughs, his hands warm and comfortable against them, nudging them onward.

"Hungryyyy," he says again, and Ryan grins and follows him, an arm around Jeff's shoulders.

He doesn't actually know if there's food in the kitchen, but they can all find out together, and there's always take out: they've got all evening.