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It's So Obvious

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"Angel, we need to talk."

"Talk?"

"Yeah, talk. Conversation. El talko mucho."

"Oh, okay. Um, what are we talking mucho about."

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed..."

"Wait. Um, Cordy, could you put the sword down first. You tend to gesture a lot when you talk, and I don't want..."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm sure you've noticed what's been going on around here."

"Going on? Something's been going on?"

"Oh, God! Don't tell me you haven't noticed. Even you..."

"Wait! I didn't say that. I might have noticed. I notice a lot of things. But that doesn't mean the thing you noticed and the things I've noticed are the same things. Just give me..."

"Angel. You're babbling."

"Babbling? I don't babble. I rant."

"Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, we need to talk about what's been going on."

"Going on?"

"Are you going to keep doing that, Angel?"

"Doing what?"

"That! Repeating everything I say. And in the form of a question, too. Which would be great if we were on Jeopardy. Hey! Have you ever thought about that? You can make a lot of money on game shows now days. And you know a lot of stuff. Living for nearly three centuries will do that to a guy..."

"Cordy. The talk."

"Oh. Sorry. Anyway, I think we need to deal with this. Before it blows up in our faces. I mean, people could get hurt."

"Get hurt?"

"You did it again!"

"Did what again?"

"Never mind! Geez! Back on track. I can't believe you haven't noticed. It's so obvious! I mean, this office is practically dripping with sexual tension."

"S-sexual t-tension."

"Yeah. I mean, come on, Angel. The air's so thick with it, you can almost hear the buzz."

"You can?"

"Yeah. And, I mean, I get it. When a guy wants a girl, But he's too afraid to come right out and admit it. Which only makes him want her more. And he starts putting out all these vibes that Helen Keller wouldn't miss. It's kind of frustrating to watch, actually. Especially when you know the girl wouldn't go screaming for the hills if he told her how he feels."

"You...I mean, she wouldn't?"

"Why would she? I mean, he's handsome, brave, heroic. Any woman would want a guy like that to want her?"

"She would? Really? I mean, even with all that's happened..."

"What? Just because she's seen him at his worst? That's what love's all about, Angel! Loving a guy even when you've seen his bad side. His really, really bad side. Up close and personal."

"I know, Cordy. But love isn't always enough. I mean, sometimes, there are other things that can get in the way..."

"Oh, please. What's getting in the way is him. He has this crazy idea that he isn't good enough for her, or something."

"Well, Cordy, you have to understand. I mean, he's done things...Terrible things. And maybe he doesn't want to..."

"What terrible thing did he do? Become a sucky Watcher to a psycho Slayer. Like Fred's gonna care about that!"

"Fred?"

"Yeah. I mean, she didn't even know Wesley then, so why should she care?"

"Fred? And Wesley? Oh. Oh!"

"You really didn't know what I was talking about, did you?"

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean...Wesley has a thing for Fred?"

"Oh, Angel. You poor, poor, clueless dork. Are you telling me that, after 200 and some odd years, you don't know the signs?"

"I...What signs?"

"The staring, for one thing. I mean, I've seen him stare at her, while pretending not to, for a solid hour. It's like he can't help himself or something. Angel? What is it? Why are you looking all around like that?"

"Huh? No reason."

"Okay. And the stammering. I mean, unless they're talking about research or something, he has a hard time putting a complete sentence together around her."

"W-what do you...I haven't noticed...Do you think she...I m-mean..."

"And remember when she had the 'flu? We couldn't get him to leave her bedside. Even when I had that vision, and we needed him to do the research thing. I mean, you practically had to drag him out of her room."

"Well, yeah, Cordy. He was worried..."

"And let's not forget the training."

"The training?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know Wesley says he thinks Fred needs to know how to defend herself. Which is true. But, personally? I think he likes having an excuse to get all touchy feely. I mean, have you ever watched them? The way he wraps his arms around her when he's showing her how to use a sword. The way he rubs her shoulders when she complains about a cramp. Geez! I feel like a peeping Tom!"

"Um, well.."

"It's just too bad Fred doesn't notice. I mean, Wesley won't make a move unless he thinks she'd be okay with it. But how can she let him know she'd be okay with it? It's not like she knows how into her he is."

"She doesn't?"

"No way! Which I just don't get. I mean, it's sooo obvious, Angel. How clueless does she have to be not to see how he feels about her?"

"I have absolutely no idea."