Chapter 1: Don't panic
Levi arched over the porcelain bowl for what felt like the hundredth time this week. She hadn't been able to keep anything but tea down and had felt weak in, given she was 34 her energy was somewhat lacking. But hell, she wasn't exactly a dead battery in general. But right now, she did feel like one, she could barely move.
Even at her age she shouldn't feel as bad as she did now. She had never felt so shitty in her entire life, not even when she got a fever or a common cold. This was a whole new area of sickness that she had never felt before and never cared to ever again. She wanted this over and now, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
She knew it couldn't be a bug, she was someone who took cleaning very seriously. She would never even allow herself to touch dirt unless it was necessary, any other time cringing at someone who didn't even follow basic hygiene. She even went as far as making sure the trainees were installed with the knowledge correctly too.
No, this was not a bug. She knew what those were like all too well from her childhood, they were not something she wasn't unaware of. There was no way in hell she had gotten herself a bug. But this had been going on for the past week or so and she hadn't felt like herself as of late, she felt herself getting weaker every day.
She had put on some weight around her stomach and waist, despite working out and still fighting titans. No matter how much she worked out or exercised the bump on her abdomen would not go away. In fact it was really staring to annoy her and all she wanted was for it to go away because people were staring to stare at her because of it.
She didn't have much appetite lately so it was impossible to blame it on the likes of her diet. Apart from tea and a small amount of bread, she had barely been able to keep anything down. Hell, she felt sick at the scent and sight of certain foods she used to love. Just breathing in the aroma made her want to blow chunks. But just what the hell could be wrong with her.
As she finished emptying her stomach completely, she wiped her mouth weakly with some toilet paper and slumped across at the wall pulling the chain to flush the toilet. She didn't have the energy to move. Luckily she was a person who kept their bathroom and quarters clean no matter what, not allowing herself to live in any sort of mess whatsoever.
She sat quietly in the toilet trying to regain what little energy she had left in her. Her body weak and feeling dizzy, I mean given how much she had been throwing up it was only natural. She was not only very dehydrated from throwing up but she now had nothing in her body. By this point she was puking tea and stomach acid, her stomach was empty due to lack of eating.
What could be causing this change in her body so severely. She had never seen or experienced anything like this in her life and it was honestly confusing and scaring the hell out of her. This sort of thing happened with only two things apart from an illness or bug, and those were your period or….
Her eyes widened and a haunting thought ran through Levi's mind. Why hadn't she thought of this before? Mainly because it sounded so ridiculous and she was always safe in that area. She and Hanji always used protection and made sure to check when it was safe. They never did it around that time and she always cleaned herself up really well afterwards.
But given the situation, everything that was wrong with her pointed in that direction despite her denying it. When did she last get her period? When did she last have her monthly visitor? Though she and every woman on the planet hated it with a passion, it was the monthly reminder that you were not carrying a child.
God, she didn't know, about… three months or so ago. Wait, oh shit this was serious. There was a very real possibility that she was carrying another human being inside of her body. If this was seriously happening, then she was in some real trouble here. But she had to remain calm, it had to be a bug, her period would just be late. There was no way in hell she was pregnant, right?
Someone like her? You had to be fucking kidding right? She couldn't possibly be a mother, what right did she have to bring a life into this world. Someone like her had no right of such a precious role. After the way she had been raised, she wasn't fit to be a mother. Not even by a long shot.
Levi sat quietly in her room her expression blank and her eyes wide. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak and she couldn't think. She didn't even see the doctor leave the room. She was barely aware of anything going on around her. Her mind was in a haze and she couldn't register any of the sounds or voices around her. It was all just white noise to her.
She had stopped listening or registering information the minute the confirmation had been made. Her mind and body just shut down and went straight to auto pilot. Anyone or anything would just be an alien to her. The lights were on but there was nobody behind the wheel, because they had jumped ship due to red alert going off.
It had been confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. She was carrying Hanji's baby inside of her and had been for a while now. I guess that they hadn't been careful enough for this to happen. In this day and age abortion was very risky to the mothers. They didn't have the medical advancement to carry out such a task and they couldn't risk losing her as a soldier.
So here she was, 3 months along with a baby. She still couldn't believe that this was real and not some really fucked up dream. She was so sure she would wake up any minute now to find this was all a figment of her imagination. That she had become so bored that she came up with a timeline like this to amuse herself.
She couldn't handle this, she couldn't. Her mind just could process all this information so suddenly. How could this happen? How had she let it happen? Why had she let herself get into this mess? Why had she ever slept with Hanji outside of marriage? If she had known this would happen she would have turned him down.
"Vi… evi… LEVI!" Erwin called firmly his expression worried. She looked really pale and shaken. The lack of food in her system wouldn't have helped but neither would the stress she was under. Right now, she had a baby inside of her. Whatever she did would affect the child too. He knew she was scared but she had to think of the baby inside of her and not just herself.
He would do what he could to help her and make sure she could still do her job aside from not going outside the walls anymore. But this would be hard on them, Levi was humanities strongest after all. Mikasa was the only other Ackerman but that wasn't enough, they needed their best right now and everyone needed to train harder now more than ever.
After the attacks with the female titan, the breaking of the walls and attacks from the rogue titans. They had suffered a lot of loss and damage and could not afford to lose anymore at the rate they were. But regardless they were still a team and he needed her to stay strong and try and remain calm despite all this.
Levi peered at him blankly, her steely grey eyes dead and filled with shock. Like looking into a mirror, staring at something you knew would never talk back. They were as wide as the saucers of the teacups she loved to drink from. She wasn't ok, she was still very shaken.
Erwin frowned, she needed to rest and stay calm. Panicking would not be the best thing to do right now. He knew this was hard to handle but she had to try and control herself. "Levi. Can you hear me?" he asked worriedly. She wasn't responding well at all which only meant the worst. Maybe he should have asked the doctor for some pills to help calm her.
Hell, if he could get some to help with the anaemia, vomiting and general panic then he would take it. Anything to make this easier for Levi to handle and calm her down. He was no expert but he was a leader and it was his job to look after his comrades, even in situations like this. He would help protect them and keep them at bay.
"Baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to be a mother. Me and Hanji are…" Levi trailed off mentally. She just couldn't handle this whole situation in her mind. She could still see her mother in her mind. How much she had sacrificed to raise her despite not being able to even care for herself in that poor business of theirs.
Her body slowly going from a healthy woman to a fucking corpse due to starvation, lack of sunlight, most likely STD's and illnesses. She could still see her face as she lay there on the bed. Slowly getting skinnier and sicker, all while she had been weak and helpless to do anything about it but watch it happen.
Kenny had trained her to fight and been as good a parent as he could. But he had been both neglected and abusive, almost killing her at some points due to her abilities. She had been 7 when she lost her mother, so young and barely living. Being raised in the slums and knowing nothing but hardships and filth all around her.
Her uncle had beaten her, neglected her and killed people for a living. He taught her to kill and fight from a young age. When she became too much he tried to kill her. When she managed to escape him, and fight back he abandoned her. Unable to control her or fight against her due to her Ackerman blood and natural skills. Leaving her alone in the world.
Now she herself was going to be a mother herself. She was going to become a parent despite having no experience with kids and barely being able to look after herself growing up. Was this karma? Was she really being cursed the same way her mum had with an unplanned pregnancy of all things?
Erwin sighed and decided to go get the doctor for some pills. He had to have some iron tablets and such to help raise her strength and help her calm herself. He hated seeing her like this. It would do no good to have her in that state. She needed to stay calm. He knew she was scared and confused, but right now she had to think of the baby inside of her.
He turned to her briefly before leaving the room "I'll be back soon Levi. I promise". He then left the room to allow Levi to think things over by herself. She needed time to take this in, but he worried about leaving her alone with this news. She was in an extremely fragile state after all.
Levi sat in silence before allowing herself to find her voice again "aby…I … I'm going to have a baby. Inside… there is a child inside me. Me … a parent…." she whispered hoarsely. She felt her stomach tighten her nerves kick in and a sickening feeling come over her. Her head felt like it was spinning and she couldn't breathe. What the fuck was wrong with her.
She then slid off the bed and fell to her knees before she could process it. Her head felt like it was reeling and she couldn't think properly. Her head was a mess right now. She had no experience in being a mother. Hell, she was 34, unmarried, in a relationship, a soldier and had a traumatic past and plenty of emotional and psychological scars.
She couldn't breathe, her eyes stung and she began to tremble violently. Eventually she opened her mouth and released a piercing scream that echoed through the room and down the hall. She screamed louder and louder, tears now spilling down her face like a waterfall. How was she pregnant? Why her? What did she do to deserve the right to be a mother?
Someone like her couldn't be a parent. How could she love and raise another human being after losing so many? Furlan, Isabel, her team. All of them, how could she do such a thing? She had no experience in having kids or raising them for that matter. What if the kid ended up like her, as fucked up and damaged as she was due to her being a mother.
What if they hated her? What if she ended up being like Kenny had been? She couldn't bare putting someone else through what he had been. She would rather risk aborting it than that. If she ended up being a shitty of a guardian as he had, she would never forgive herself for putting that child through such a thing.
She closed her eyes and let the tears fall onto the floor. Not caring about who heard or what she looked like. She was so scared, she didn't know what to do or how to process this information. It was all too much, it was all happening too fast. How did anyone ever prepare to be a parent and put up with all this?
It was so fucking scary that she didn't know what to do with herself. This had to be a dream. this had to be a fucking dream that she had made up in her head. She would wake up any second and things would be back to normal anytime. Then she would wake up and everything would be normal again.
Levi sat down by the window quietly her eyes red from crying and her face calm. There was a cup of tea nearby that Erwin had made, a fresh pot sat beside it and something sweet. Saying how she needed to regain her energy from her outburst and throwing up, hoping it would make her feel better again.
Her body felt heavy but she felt better for crying. She was now just sitting by a window contemplating on how she had a baby inside of her and how she would eventually give birth. She didn't feel happy, sad, angry or scared. She didn't feel anything, she had already had her surge of emotions earlier. She just wanted to sit here and watch the clouds roll by.
It's not like she had the strength to do anything else anyway. The shock and stress of what she had put herself through earlier had all but drained her of what little energy she had. She hummed in sarcastic amusement as she once again thought about her situation "A mother huh? Who would have thought" she laughed sarcastically. But life was strange like that huh?
Chapter 2: Daddy Hanji
Hanji finds out that he is going to be a father
Levi sat silently in her room, her eyes red and puffy from crying for so long. Her body heavy and limp from the energy she had lost after her previous emotional and mental breakdown upon learning she was pregnant. Staring out of the window into the distance as the fact that she was pregnant slowly sank into her system.
She wondered if this was how all new mothers felt, how her own mother felt upon realizing they were going to have a baby. Knowing you would be responsible for a life and having to raise them into a human being. God, she felt sick again as that thought alone rushed through her already fragile mind state.
She hadn't eaten a thing, she hadn't even drunk tea. Feeling too sick from nerves and morning sickness to even think about consuming even a morsel of food or drop of liquid into her body. if she did she was sure she would just bring it back up again later on, but then at least it wouldn't taste like acid and have flavour.
She was going to be a mother, her. The infamous captain Levi of the survey core, humanities strongest soldier was going t be a parent. The foul mouthed, dark humoured, sarcastic captain of the survey core with a past darker than most. How the hell was this even possible?
She curled up quietly burying her head on her knees, just wanting to sleep. Her mind buzzing with endless thoughts and emotions causing it to feel like there was a bomb going off in her head. Anything that would allow her to escape from reality for a short while, so she didn't have the face the truth.
Erwin sat quietly in his office, his head resting on his hands. Trying to find a way to explain this to his subordinate without scaring him or acting like too much of an intimidating figure. Hanji sat opposite in the chair waiting for Erwin to speak, knowing that the situation was indeed serious.
It was hard not to let his emotions get the best of him in this situation. Levi was his subordinate and worked under him, She was his right hand woman and he trusted her completely. Knowing that she was being put into this situation and there was nothing he could do to make it go away was very stressful for him.
He was in charge of keeping his soldiers safe and acting as a leader to them. Levi was someone he trusted and saw as a daughter whom he had taken from the slums and given a better life. But now she was pregnant and would be having a child, despite having no knowledge on having a family or caring for another person.
However, Hanji was half expecting it to be about titans or about his research not giving enough answers. While they shared a relation of respect and sharing intellect, it was very rare they spoke about their personal lives. Not on the topic of conversation that Erwin was about to bring to the table.
"Hanji. I am aware that you and Levi have been involved with each other for some time. Not that it was ever a problem and you work well as a team in the field" he explained calmly. He had always supported their relationship and helped them in any way he could. Often acting as their therapist when either one was unhappy or they got into a fight.
Hanji blinked in confusion at his statement. Yes, he and Levi had gotten together shortly after she was scouted by Erwin 5 years ago, though Levi had definitely warmed up to him more than she had back then. It had just been love at first sight for him, his heart skipping a beat just by looking at her.
She had been the most amazing woman he had ever seen, not just in terms of skill but appearance. That silky black hair and dull blue eyes, plus her adorable height. He just had to have her. He did everything he could think of to get her attention or make conversation with her, which had eventually paid off.
The two had developed a relationship together and it was strange but they did love each other. Most of their conversations being about playful insults or their own personal brand of humour. They worked well as a team, trusted each other indefinitely and were loyal to one another.
He had acted as her support when she lost Isabel and Furlan, comforting her when she was down. Helping her find comfort and never treating her like a god like everyone else. Just as a normal person. The reason she respected him so much was mainly due to the fact that he didn't kiss her ass, like everyone else.
Erwin sighed heavily, now for the bomb. "Hanji, Levi is pregnant and it is indeed yours" he explained sternly. He had to know the consequences of his actions by not being careful. Sure, in this day and age they didn't have protection to prevent such a thing. But they always timed it to the ovulation cycle or time of the month when Levi would be more prone to the possibility.
Now their carelessness had resulted in a life being made. A life that could not be controlled where it came from, but none the less deserved to be raised and cared for properly. He would do what he could to help them through all this, but this was completely on their own heads not his.
Hanji could only sit there in awe as Erwin told him all this. So many thoughts and feelings rushing through him as he was told about Levi's new situation. He was going to be a dad? Sure, he was helpful and nurturing towards the younger trainees because he was once in their shoes, but never had he been a father.
Erwin's expression became stern and his expression darkened a little "Hanji, this is also you're doing. You must take responsibility for the child you helped create" he explained. He would not let Levi deal with this alone, nor did he want Hanji to be in the dark about this whole thing either.
Levi came from a less than pleasant background, losing her mother, abandoned by her uncle and losing her friends. She had no experience nor knowledge on a normal family life. The whole idea would terrify her and leave her more than shaken. God knows what she was thinking or feeling right now as she sat alone in her chambers with her thoughts.
Hanji could only sit there in awe, unable to believe this. His voice somehow gone and his body unable to function, shock completely overwhelming him. He was going to be a dad, he and Levi were going to be parents. How did anyone prepare for this? How was anyone supposed to get used to this? He really didn't know.
Levi lay curled up on her bed clutching her stomach and sobbing into her pillow. She felt emotionally and physically exhausted, the desire to punch someone in the face and break down crying which she put down to hormones. She hated this and she was scared shitless, but there was nothing she could do about it.
She felt like shit and she had been puking yet again. She just wished the baby would settle down before she broke down crying and ended up mentally scarring someone. She felt weak, tired, scared and angry all at the same time. Constantly aware that this was not a dream and she was going to have a baby.
Suddenly she heard the door open but she didn't look up to acknowledge the guest. She knew who it would be and she lacked the strength to do so in the first place. To boot she was not in the mood for guests or company right now and just wanted to be left the fuck alone to dwell in her emotions.
Hanji looked down at Levi sympathetically, feeling bad that she had dealt with this by herself. She looked pale, shaken and her eyes were red from crying so much. No doubt she had been vomiting earlier too from the vague scent in the air. He had a feeling she wouldn't want to be eating very soon.
He could only imagine how she was feeling and what she was thinking about all this. But he wouldn't abandon her in her time of need, he would help her through this. He then walked over the bathroom quietly and picked up an empty glass. He then filled it with water and approached the bed again leaving in on her bedside table.
Due to vomiting and crying she would have lost a lot of water. That would be one of the reasons that she would be feeling exhausted right now, aside from many others. She needed to re-hydrate herself which would make her feel a little better and calm her down. Panicking would not be good for herself or the baby inside of her.
"How far along are you?" he asked calmly his voice hinting desperation. He had read up in a book somewhere about the many symptoms females had during pregnancy. Plus, it would be good to keep check on the babies progress from knowing just how far the pregnancy was. He could write it all down in a separate data book, for science.
Levi laughed weakly, she hadn't really thought about that yet. She had been too busy panicking about the whole situation in general to think of something so casual. But it was obvious to see from the size of her slowly growing belly to make an assessment "3 months" she replied quietly.
She was still wearing her uniform but had stripped down some. Now just wearing her blouse and underwear, as everything else had been too uncomfortable or covered in puke. Plus she felt less warm with the clothing she had on right now, the more clothes she was wearing the more constricted and overheated she felt.
Hanji sighed and felt his heart tighten upon looking at her. She was visibly pale from shock and vomiting. Her eyes were red as her sheets from crying so much and she was visibly in shock. The thought of being pregnant and a mother shaking her up badly. The fact she was carrying another human being inside of her, let alone created one was terrifying to her.
He felt awful that it came at the worst possible time for them, after the attack of the female titan and Eren's almost kidnapping. They had enough on their plate as it was, without the baby. They had been together for some time now, but he had hoped to start a family with her when it was all over. But then things never really went according to plan here anyway.
He slowly took off his boots and joined Levi on the bed. Pulling her close to his chest and stroking her black hair gently. She nuzzled up to him and buried her face in his chest. "I won't leave you Levi. You'll be an amazing mother and the kids will be strong amazing people like you" he reassured her.
With her inhuman strength and his brains, they would be walking weapons. They would be well fed, organized, and hygienic individuals. They would know all about keeping things clean and knowing not to piss off either of their parents. That much he already knew without them being born yet.
Levi felt her eyes well up with tears and broke down sobbing again into his chest. Not out of sadness but out of happiness. Because somehow, he had known exactly what she needed to hear. Easing a great deal off of her shoulders and allowing her to be reassured that everything would be ok and the baby would be too.
Hanji smiled softly and stroked Levi's head as she broke down crying once more. Feeling slightly proud that he was the only one who got to see her like this. Holding her close to him as she vented her feelings, glad to be by her side through all this.
Levi and Hanji lay on the bed together silently as they pondered their new roles as parents. Wrapped in the bed sheets for warmth and their limbs entangled affectionately as they snuggled together. The tension in the air had lifted and both were visibly more relaxed than they had been before.
Levi was no longer shaken or crying and was now almost euphoric. An unknown calmness about her and more willing to accept her fate as a mother to be. However, was still gently holding her belly as she continued to worry about becoming a mother. But it also showed her desire to protect the child inside of her.
"They better not have your hygiene standards" Levi grumbled quietly. She would not allow her kids to skip bathing like Hanji did when he did all-nighter's in his office. They would take regular baths, would not go near an inch of dirt and would act like a normal human beings unlike their father.
"They better not have your potty mouth" Hanji retorted playfully. He hoped their kid's vocabulary would be far more decent than the one that Levi tended to have. However, he couldn't promise that as if they overheard any conversations they would imprint it into their brain and pick up quite the language indeed.
Levi scoffed, ok two could play at this game "They better not have your temper" she replied playfully. People thought she was scary when mad, Hanji was like the incarnation of Satan when serious. Combine them together and that child would be one that everyone would fear, maybe even peeing their pants a little when they entered a room.
Hanji grinned "same to you" he teased. The only two people that had any form of temper worth fearing here were himself and Levi. The two people you knew not to mess with. Levi looked up at him quietly, her expression now softened. She was scared but, with Hanji here by her side she felt less so. Knowing that things would be ok.
Hanji stroked her head affectionately sensing her hesitant attitude "You feeling ok?" he asked worriedly. Did she feel sick again? Was she uncomfortable at all? He would do his best to make her feel better. He was mainly the brains in the operation, but he gave a pretty good backrub if that was what she needed.
Levi then placed her head on Hanji's chest again gently gripping his shirt. He was here, he was staying and they would get through this together. That was all she needed to know. "I love you, shitty glasses" she replied quietly. She never thought she could love anyone as much as she did Hanji. Sure, he pissed her off, but he was a good man to his very core.
Hanji blinked then smiled and nuzzled his nose into her hair. God, why was she so adorable? "I love you too Levi" he replied cuddling her affectionately. He really hoped the baby would be as cute as her. Especially if it meant they had a Levi/himself mutant baby running around who acted like a Tsundere.
Chapter 3: Trials and tribulations
Levi deals with hormones due to pregnancy but Hanji cheers her up
She later shares a moment with Mikasa
Levi sat growling at her desk, gripping her head in her hands with paperwork surrounding her. She felt like shit and she was bored as hell, eager to get out and do more but unable to do so. The most she could do was take a nap or go for a walk, but she was prohibited from leaving the grounds. In a sense, she was a prisoner being held here against her will.
She was still 3 months along with her slightly swollen belly, but had to stay at the hideout and do paperwork. Erwin even ordering people to stop her should she try and leave, keeping an eye on her constantly. Meaning she was officially off the battlefield while pregnant.
While she knew, it was safer for the baby, she was the strongest in the field and she felt bad for those who were sent in her place. Feeling guilty that she could do nothing to help them. Instead trapped at base having to go through tedious paperwork that in the past she did very little of due to being able to go out on missions.
Soldiers would be dying and though that came with the job, with her help deaths could be prevented due to expertise. However, she was glad they still had Hanji and Mikasa at least. But Erwin had ordered her to remain off the battlefield, during and after pregnancy. Not allowing her to fight in her condition, telling her to think of the child and her future as a parent.
In his own way, he was saying he wanted her to be a good parent and take responsibility. Not risking her own well being that could potentially cause the child harm too. Wanting to give the child everything she had not had growing up, a healthy family life instead of being an orphan and losing their parents.
But Levi was pissed at hell, nobody coming near her due to the fact she had a dark swirling storm behind her. A murder glare being shot at anyone who even sneezed. Fed up, bored and hormonal as hell, but there was nothing she could do about it. She was stuck with mountains of paperwork with only tea to comfort her anguish.
However, she would not argue with the demands she had been given. The baby was not only half of her, but half of Hanji too. Their shared DNA had helped make a life together. Because of this the baby was precious to her and she would protect it with her life. Even if that meant not being able to fight for a while, it would be worth it in the end.
Raising a child together with him and being able to teach them valuable life lessons. That would be the most rewarding part about being a parent. knowing she had done a good job in raising a new life. Aside from the lack of sleep, crying and having to change their shitty nappies.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door to which she looked up from her desk and turned in the direction it came in. Really just wanting to be left alone with her misery of being forced to work at a desk all day. The glare still evident on her face as she did so, warning the intruder of her bad mood.
Hanji stood in the doorway sympathetically, while his lover was forced to work behind a desk. He was still able to go out into the battlefield and fight against the titans. "You look like shit" he teased playfully taking in her pissed off expression. The hormones would slowly start to be kicking in about now, because of the baby inside of her.
However, that didn't mean he wouldn't try and cheer her up with his usual humour. It was probably the highlight of her day after hours of endless annoying paperwork. He didn't envy her in the slightest, but it was pretty funny given how they had swapped positions, her doing his job and him doing hers.
Levi growled, not really in the mood for anyone's shit "I'm swollen, my emotions are all over the place, I'm bored, I'm stiff and I hurt!" she snapped angrily. Venting her fluid emotions at him. Her breasts were sore and slowly swelling to produce milk for the baby. Her hormones were overflowing constantly leaving her exhausted and her back hurt from sitting down all day.
She was desperate to do something other than paperwork but she had to follow orders. She knew at the end of the day this would benefit herself and the baby, being able to check up on their health. But this caused to her to have a slight grudge against Erwin for slightly enjoying this.
Hanji smiled softly and then hugged her from behind, he was so happy for her to be having his baby. But he felt bad for her to deal with the side effects of bearing a new life. The least he could do was make this easier for her since he could do little else. He couldn't take away her pain or stresses of being pregnant, but he would support her with everything he had.
Levi softened and buried into his arm, feeling better to have him near. Though, she felt guilty to have snapped at him despite it not being his fault. She was just so worn out and hormonal. The pregnancy was taking a toll on her emotionally as well as physically, draining her until she felt weak and lacking in energy.
"You want a back massage?" he offered kindly. Sitting at a desk all day was killer for your back, he knew this too well and it really sucked for your body too. So he may as well relieve her pain. His hands were more than just for research or fighting, they could be put towards other good uses too.
Levi groaned softly at the idea of her muscles and joints getting some form of relief. Being able to get rid of her awful backache and stiff joints from sitting in the same position all day. "That sounds amazing" she groaned wearily. After working so many hours at this desk as it was, she could use it.
Hanji hummed, nuzzling into her head affectionately. Knowing the baby would be picking up her comfort from her relaxed emotions, knowing that he was someone familiar. "Let's go to the bed" he said gently. Lying on her stomach this early on wouldn't hurt the baby, however, there were other dangers she could face that would risk the baby's safety.
Levi lay on her back quietly, humming in pleasure as Hanji caressed her sore muscles and joints. Already starting to feel more relaxed and her tension slowly slipping away like leaves to the wind. Easing her hormones into a relaxed state causing her to feel much better.
His fingers were like magic, any aches or pains she felt were instantly soothed and she felt her mood lighten. Making her grateful he had suggested it to her just when she needed it most. Her worries and stresses melting away as Hanji cracked her joints and eased her tense muscles. Amazed at how skilled he was with his hands, getting every one of her sore places.
"You really are stressed, aren't you?" Hanji said gently. he knew all too well this would be harder on her than it would him, her hormones making her mentally unstable due to literally having another brain inside of her. He wondered what thoughts were rushing through her mind aside from the fact that she was an expecting mother.
"Worrying about my comrades, having nothing to do but paperwork and worrying about parenthood can be exhausting" she replied wearily. Her mind was constantly plagues by it. The deaths she could be preventing by fighting, the more titans being destroyed at her hands and saving lives. The paperwork turning her brain to mush and testing her patience.
But most of all worrying about how good or bad a parenting job she would do. Whether or not the child would like her or if she somehow fucked up along the way. Not knowing how well the child would turn out under her care was the worst part. Scared that it could all go wrong and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
Hanji stopped, a concerned look on his face as she said this. Was she really worrying about this all by herself and not telling him? Weren't they supposed to be a team? "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked worriedly his tone pained. Weren't they supposed to be riding this out together? It wasn't fair that she was keeping this to herself and not telling him anything.
Levi stiffened, it's not that she couldn't tell him or hadn't wanted to. It's just that he hadn't been here to speak to this past week, so she had been keeping it all to herself worsening her mood. "Y… You weren't here" she replied stiffly. It's not like she had been hiding all this intentionally. But he had been busy on the field and she had been locked up here.
He hadn't been here to tell or listen to when she needed to get things off her chest, so what else could she do other than keep it to herself and get good advice. So, he had no right to be mad at her right now. Besides, while she could vent to Erwin about some things, she and Hanji needed to have discussions as a couple.
Hanji sighed but he agreed with her, she was right so he couldn't complain much. Being apart hadn't exactly helped much for them to have counselling or personal conversations together. She had been forced to work at a desk all day and help from the side-lines while he was out in the battlefield. She had a lot on her plate and it was by no means fair.
"I'm sorry. Because of having to have a child you've been left helpless and I've taken away your freedom" Hanji replied apologetically. In a sense, he had taken away her wings. She was trapped at their base like a bird in a cage, tempted by the outside world yet never able to experience it up close and feel the wind against her wings.
Levi softened, she could hear the pain in his voice and though she was happy to be having his child. She was fairly fed up and bored of having to stay home all day and night. However, she didn't regret having his child. But she was angry at not being able to protect him or her comrades, the thought of losing him scaring her more than anything.
"You… just… make sure you always come home" she replied quietly. She wanted their child to have a father, not like her who had only had a mother and lost her too. She wanted their child to have a semi normal life, something she had been denied because of her upbringing and home life. Knowing their parents loved them and would always be by their side.
Hanji hummed fondly and then got off of her, then sat beside her quietly. He had thought she had seemed more on edge than usual even with the mood swings. It seemed that Levi had been worrying about him more than she let on adding to her stresses. "Levi, look at me" he said sternly. No matter how hard the battle or how strong the enemy, he would always come back to her side no matter what happened.
Levi grumbled, not happy that he had stopped massaging her but she complied. As she sat up from her position he pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his chest as he gripped her. Every time he held her in his arms, she felt her worries wash away instantly. He had to have some form of magic in him, if he was able to make her feel like this.
She slowly wrapped her arms around him closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. Breathing heavily in a loud sigh as she felt herself relaxing in his warm embrace. This was the highlight of her day after hours of endless paperwork and stress. How could it get any better than this moment right now.
"I will always return to you. Nothing could keep me from coming home. Hell, I'd ride a titan if I had to, as long as I came home" he replied fondly. He would never leave her, no matter what. Levi was the woman he loved and she was carrying his child. He would never abandon them and would fight blood, tooth and bone to get back to her again after the battle was over.
There were only two things he truly cared about in life, one of them was his Titan research and the other was Levi. Those were two things in his life he could never afford to lose. One would help humanity finally overcome titans and not have to live in fear, the other was his life partner and the mother of his child.
Levi softened, knowing he meant what he said completely. Hanji was not the type of person to lie, it just wasn't in his nature. But he was better at being approachable than her. Suddenly her eyes widened and she stiffened, sensing movement inside of her. The fetus inside of her moving at the sense of her happiness and Hanji being nearby.
Hanji sensed her surprise and pulled away worriedly, sensing that something wasn't right. Was she feeling sick? Her morning sickness had gotten better but she still got it pretty badly now and again. Whatever it was, he would try and make it easier for her, than for her to deal with it all alone.
Levi took one of his hands gently with her own and pressed it to her stomach. Wanting him to feel how amazing this felt, to feel her baby moving inside of her, trying to communicate. Moments like this making her look past the problems and hardships she went through while pregnant, realizing the miracle she had been blessed with.
Hanji's eyes widened in surprise, he had read about the child moving inside of the mother. But he never thought it would feel this amazing, he was happier than words could describe. Levi smiled at him softly, happy to be sharing this experience with him. Being able to feel their baby moving inside of her, slowly growing every day into a small baby.
Hanji's eyes then welled up with tears and he pulled her back into a hug. They really were going to be parent's, weren't they? This felt like the happiest day of his life. Levi hummed and nuzzled into his chest, feeling safe and secure. Though having to work all day was hard, small moments like this made it all better for her.
Levi stood outside in the sunshine quietly, enjoying the silence before any of the other cadets started making a racket. After being cooped up at a desk for hours, she needed a break to clear her mind. Thankfully, Hanji had taken over with helping so she could have a longer break.
She sighed as she felt the sun on her skin and the gentle breeze blow through her the back of her neck gently fixing the cricks and stiffness she had felt from her earlier position. The baby was making her tired, so taking a short nap later on wouldn't hurt much.
She gently stroked her swollen belly as she leaned against the wall. Being pregnant was exhausting but so was working sitting at a desk for hours to the point her brain was fried. She could only hope it would be worth it at the end and her child didn't turn out to be a little shit who caused her nothing but trouble.
"Captain Levi" a familiar voice asked timidly. She turned her head and was visibly surprised instead of seeing Eren, it was instead his younger adopted sister Mikasa. She raised her eyebrow curiously acknowledging the younger Ackerman "Mikasa?" she replied casually. She wasn't used to seeing Mikasa look so nervous around her before.
Mikasa shifted, her head bowed and her short black hair covering her face slightly. She didn't know how to talk about this without making it awkward at all. But she just hadn't been able to calm her curiosity despite feeling that she would be intruding. So she had come here alone to find out for herself.
"Commander Erwin. H… he said you were pregnant" she replied hesitantly. The rumour had been going around the barracks for a while but she had no idea if it was true. A lot of people had been making bets on whether Levi and Hanji were in a relationship, those that won were making the losers perform dares.
Levi softened but was still tense due to hormones "Indeed. I'm having Hanji's baby so I've been taken off duty from the battlefield" she replied bluntly venting her annoyance. Though she felt bad slightly for seemingly coming across rude to the younger female, her hormones not exactly helping in this situation.
Mikasa hesitated, gripping her hands either side of her. She had always been curious about babies, ever since she was a young girl. Before she died, she remembered asking her mother where they came from. She had never gotten the answer all these years later, though she knew about periods and other changes in her body. But she still didn't know what it felt like to be carrying a baby.
Levi saw Mikasa's apprehensive state and sighed, why couldn't she just come out and say it already "If you want something Ackerman just say it. I'm not exactly in the best of moods as of late" she grumbled irritably. If she was just going to stand there, she would rather go and take a nap in her chambers for some peace.
Mikasa breathed in nervously, preparing herself in case she upset her superior "C… can I touch it? Your belly that is" she asked nervously. She immediately regretted this decision as Levi was very awkward with physical contact. But she had tried and that was the main thing, now she just waited for the answer.
Levi simply stared at the teen, surprised at how the usually headstrong Mikasa was now awkward about touching another woman's pregnant belly. It was rather adorable. She then nodded giving her approval, she didn't mind if people asked first. It was just if they got touchy feely without her permission that she would get upset about it.
Mikasa then approached Levi shyly and touched her belly gently, slightly caressing it with her hands. Her black eyes widening and shining slightly as she stroked the small bump under Levi's shirt. It was amazing to think that there was another human being inside of her. That her captain would bear life from inside of her, it was the most amazing thing she had ever experienced.
Levi was slightly amazed at how fascinated Mikasa was, her eyes lighting up like a small child. Making her look her age compared to her usual serious self she showed so much. The latter stroked her belly slightly and moved her hands around, wanting to fully understand the feeling of her pregnant stomach.
Eventually Mikasa got up slowly in a satisfied manner, a small smile on her face. To think that her own mother once carried her inside of her too, just like Levi and her own baby now. "Thank you, Captain" she replied gratefully her voice quiet. It was amazing to think that her own body was capable of such a thing. At least not for many years to come yet.
Levi sighed, but the anger in her tone had died down "Just don't go blabbering to the other brats. I don't need a bunch of teenagers begging to touch my belly" she replied sternly. She had a shorter temper since becoming pregnant. A bunch of annoying teenagers chasing her was the last thing she needed.
Mikasa nodded obediently. However, she wondered if Levi was short because of cravings and hunger. I mean she had been sat at a desk all day, she was bound to be tired. "Um… Captain. Would you like some lunch? I could make you something sweet" she offered. Though they were low on supplies, she could mash her some apples or something.
Levi softened and raised her eyebrow, she had no idea that Mikasa could cook. Maybe she should have Hanji talk to her about her meals from now on too. Would be useful. She then followed Mikasa to the kitchen quietly, eager to satisfy her cravings and fill her aching stomach. It had been a very long day after all, she needed it.
Chapter 4: Mood swings
Levi suffers from her hormones and Hanji tries to cheer her up
Levi sat quietly curled up in a ball wearing a blouse, gripping a pillow tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. Grumbling and cursing under her breath trying to control the will to destroy everything in her sight to make herself feel better than he did in this very moment. She just hated everyone and everything right now.
She had a low tolerance for everything and everyone right now, she would happily kick someones ass if it made her feel better. She would shove a broom up Erwin's ass to prove how bossy he was. She would happily scream at the 105th trainee's if it meant they would shut the hell up and behave for once in their damn lives.
Her emotions were all over the place, most likely scaring and confusing a lot of people. One minute she wanted hugs, next minute she hated anyone touching her, the next she hated everything. She was just feeling so much as once and she was emotionally exhausted. She was aware she wasn't acting herself but she couldn't help it.
Her belly was slowly growing as the child inside of her started to develop. But the whole process was taking a toll on her, and she was only 3 months along. Meaning she had more of this shit to deal with. She didn't know how much more of this she could take, she just hoped she would mellow down soon before she killed someone.
She had a bucket nearby the bed in case she vomited as her morning sickness was also pretty bad. She looked like shit and she felt like it too, which didn't help matters at all. Her self esteem had pretty much dropped this past week because of her hormones, taking every comment someone said about her or towards her personally.
More than a few people had apologized for the smallest things, but didn't dare go against her. Though a few people got pissed off or tended to avoid her they knew better than to start something. Even though she was pregnant, Levi was still one of the most feared soldiers in the team. For many reasons of course.
"Fucking Hanji knocking me up. His stupid baby is making me feel like shit" she sobbed. She missed being able to relax and feel normal, instead of all these emotions and nausea. She had a hard time keeping food down, certain foods made her feel sick and she was always tired. She had no idea why she had to suffer for all of this simply to give birth to a baby.
She now had more respect for any woman who had given birth to a child before including her own mother. She had been a single mother living in the slums, young and tired. Giving birth to a child despite having very little herself and then bringing them up as best she could. Giving everything she had to make sure Levi made it.
She was always tired, her emotions were all over the place, she kept puking and she hated everything. She cried over stupid shit almost all the time and she was more irritable than usual. She hated feeling like this but she wouldn't be able to make it stop, she would be stuck like this on and off until the baby arrived.
It was then that the bedroom door opened and Hanji entered the bedroom to see Levi crying on the bed. Her eyes red and half undressed while death gripping a pillow. Despite still being around 3 months the hormones were now starting to hit her pretty hard. The first few months were pretty rough and he felt bad for her having to deal with all of this.
He was doing the best he could to support her, but he would be lying if he wasn't sometimes a little afraid. Given how unpredictable her emotions could be and how easily she could snap. "Hey Levi" he said gently his tone playful. He could see she was feeling shitty so he had come to cheer her up. She must have been tired of crying by now so he would try his best to make her smile.
Upon hearing him enter the room Levi decided to let rip not caring about if she hurt his feelings or not. She had thoughts on her mind and she was going to share them. So he was going to shut up and listen while she ranted for a while. It was the least he could do for her since he was barely ever around nowadays.
"I fucking hate you shitty glasses. You're always working and leaving me alone. You think I like having to deal with this baby on my own" she sobbed. While he was off doing god knows what, she had to stay inside and not do anything that may harm the baby. They were treating her as if she was something fragile, like she was made of glass.
She really hated the fact that Erwin was being so stern with her. She was pregnant not an invalid. She should be allowed some form of freedom instead of being forced to stay at the base all the time. It was easy for him to give orders and enjoy being the boss, but she was bored to death and fed up. Couldn't he just go a little easier on her for crying out loud, the fuzzy eyebrowed jerk.
She barely had any luxuries and was being forced to eat all sorts of weird food because of the baby. She wasn't allowed to over exert herself and she felt like she was going mad from the paperwork. God knows how Hanji was able to stand doing all that research without his brain turning to mush. It was so fucking frustrating to her.
Hanji chuckled, about this time Levi's hormones would be a bit all over because of the baby. But he took them in good stride and simply brushed it off knowing she didn't mean any of it. "I have work to do Levi, I can't just shrug it off. That would be lazy of me, wouldn't it?" he reminded her. They were soldiers as well as would be parents, he had to work on his research for the titans.
He hated neglecting her so much but now that Levi was unable to fight, he was doing her work too. The younger trainees lacked the experience they did so they weren't able to help as much. They were still greenhorns and though they had come a long way, they were still naive to a lot of things and needed to ease into their duties slowly.
Levi stiffened, part of her knew he was right and proud of him. Yet part of her was angry because she hated being cooped up like this, unable to do the things she wanted to. Sometimes it felt like he was mocking her with his freedom, as if he was laughing at her and taunting her with all the things she couldn't do anymore like she used to.
She then turned to him with watery eyes, pouting at him as if she was a small child. "You must hate me, right? That's why you don't want to spend time with me" she sniffled. Because she was growing bigger because of the baby he didn't find her attractive anymore. Because of her hormones, he was scared of her or didn't like her because she was so bossy and needy.
Hanji stiffened, though he was good at dealing with Levi when angry as it was usually just sulky. When Levi cried however, it was waterworks and drama that could often be exhausting. He loved her to pieces and he always would, but sometimes he feared for his life wondering just what she would be capable of in her current state.
"You jerk Hanji! I can't help it you idiot! It's your fault for knocking me up!" she sobbed. If he had been more careful they wouldn't be in this mess and she wouldn't be having his damn baby yet. She then burst into a fresh set of tears, he was now ignoring her because she was pregnant. Probably regretting what had happened and wanting to avoid her. Maybe he didn't even want to be a dad.
Hanji only watched silently with an awkward expression, internally confused and panicked. Though he had read about the changes pregnant women went through, it was much scarier experiencing it in real life. He didn't know what to say or what to do to calm her down. He was only relieved her angry side hadn't come out yet. He had a feeling that pregnant angry Levi would be the scariest thing he had ever seen.
"Levi… its ok. I don't hate you, Erwin just has me doing a lot of the work you can't instead" he replied gently. As to not put too much strain on the baby, he was asking Hanji to take over instead. Though it was hard work and he was often tired, he didn't mind doing it. He would rather not have Levi put too much strain on herself and do only what she was capable of doing.
This was his first child, his first time being a parent and he didn't want to mess it up. He wanted Levi to have a healthy and happy baby that they would raise together. But he couldn't help that in order for that to happen, he had to be a little strict with her, which meant she had to stay at the base and away from the battlefield.
Levi then went silent and stopped crying, still gripping the pillow. A heavy silence then echoed around the room, then a dark aura surrounded Levi that gave Hanji a bad feeling. She death gripped the pillow, nearly shaking with pure rage. Growling under her breath sending shivers down Hanji's spine. Damn Erwin and his self-righteous attitude bossing Hanji about.
He sat at a desk all day giving orders while she was stuck at the base bored off her face. It was good for him but she hated this, she was fucking miserable while he was enjoying himself. It was all fun and games for him but what about her? She had needs too, she got so lonely sometimes she felt like she was going crazy. Wasn't Hanji the father of her baby after all.
She wanted the baby to be able to meet the father while it was in the womb, to hear his voice and talk to it. Not for him to be miles away and in danger while she had to simply tell the baby about him. She knew what it was like to not have a father, it was a very lonely and strange feeling to miss out on having such a bond.
Hanji saw her tenseness and sensed a bad aura coming from her. He had a bad feeling that this was the side of Levi he never wanted to see when pregnant. He was at a loss of what to do right now. He swallowed nervously trying not to shit himself with the fear he was currently feeling "Um… Levi" he asked hesitantly. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this scared in his life.
Levi then flipped her head to look at him, her grey eyes gleaming with a murderous glare and a look that could scare even a titan. Gripping the pillow so hard the seams started to rip a little. Burning holes into Hanji who was close to shaking with fear. He somewhat regretted even coming to see her, if it meant he had to suffer the wrath of her hormonal moods.
"So, you're just going to kiss Erwin's ass? Do everything he says like a dog? What about me huh? Don't I matter anymore now that you knocked me up?!" Levi growled fiercely. Now that he had gotten what he wanted and there was a baby inside of her. He was just going to do his own thing and leave her alone to suffer with the symptoms of pregnancy.
Hanji backed up a little, he knew the Ackerman strength and what they were capable of. Given the chance she could use anything in this room right now as a weapon against him. "Levi, calm down" he said nervously. He knew she was feeling a lot of emotions right now, but taking it out on him wouldn't make it any better. He knew she was under a lot of stress right now but he didn't want to get hurt.
Levi continued glaring and slowly got off the bed, standing up in an intimidating manner. Glaring knives at him, not once looking away from him. Causing Hanji to start mentally screaming. "Hanji…." She said fiercely. She would make him pay for ignoring her for so long. She would get attention, even if she had to force him to spend time with her. He had some balls leaving her alone for so long.
She then began to loom towards Hanji silently, her eyes still sharp and gleaming. While Hanji backed up against the door, his body shaking and worrying about what was going to become of him. If he had known this sort of thing would happen because he impregnated Levi he would have been safer during their sexual intimacy.
Levi sat happily perched on Hanji's lap, cuddling up to him affectionately with a sweet smile on her face. Her arms wrapped around his neck fondly and nuzzling up to him as if she was a cat. She felt comfortable, more so than she had in a very long time. Being pregnant despite being so early on was not one of the most pleasant experiences of her life.
Hanji sat on the bed silently now relieved but still in shock, he had half expected Levi to kick his ass. This had not gone the way he expected it to after all, but then again nothing was normal anymore. He didn't dare touch her in case she got mad at him again, so he just let her do her own thing. He swore, this baby was going to be the end of him mentally. He was always on edge nowadays.
"Hanji…" Levi trailed off quietly. She could sense he was hesitating about being affectionate with her, which was understandable after how she had acted towards him earlier. She knew she hadn't been the easiest to deal with since she got pregnant. But she did appreciate all that he did for her, it took a weight off her shoulders.
"Yeah" Hanji replied wearily. He really hoped she had calmed down now. He had already been traumatized by seeing Levi that angry. He really didn't want to see that side of her again for a long time. Before he had broke down and cried again then clung to him like mad, he really thought she was about to beat the ever loving shit out of him.
Levi bowed her head and her eyes filled with sadness, despite the fact her body was changing because of the baby inside of her. She still really loved him regardless. She was glad to be having his baby, even though she was scared shitless of what the outcome of her being a parent would be. She had no idea of how this kid was going to turn out after all.
"You know I don't mean it right, all of the stuff I do and say. It's just… the baby" she replied nervously. Sometimes she got so scared that she would lose him while he was out in battle or that he would snap at her because he was done with it all. Saying he couldn't tolerate this anymore, leaving her to fend for herself alone and afraid.
Hanji softened and was stunned by the words that came out of her mouth. He had never heard Levi sound so scared before, not since she told him about being pregnant. He then smiled fondly and slowly raised his hands to wrap them around Levi. Instead of getting mad she softened into his embrace, leaning her face against his chest.
"Yeah, I have read this sort of things in books y'know" he replied fondly. But then again, no matter how much research he did, it would never truly prepare him for the real experience. It was something you had to experience for yourself, everyone had different stories for pregnancy. It was always different depending on the mother, no baby is the same.
Levi sighed heavily, she knew he was just trying to reassure her it sounded like he was making fun of her. This was scary for her after all, her family life had been anything but perfect. Her own mother had been a prostitute and gotten pregnant accidentally but chosen to keep her. She never knew who her father was or what kind of man he had been as she never met him.
Her mother had indeed been able to fight and look after herself, mainly using as self-defence to look after herself. Making people knew with whom they were fucking and she was more than just a pretty face. Though not being as cold blooded as her brother Kenny had been, using her abilities in moderation as she tried to live a peaceful life.
She raised Levi as best she could until her death, the left Levi to care for herself but not by choice. Kenny hadn't been the best parental figure but he did teach her how to fight. Her childhood had been shitty, her teenage years had been shitty and her young adult life had been shitty. Her whole life had been a mess and she had no right to raise a baby.
She knew nothing of being a good mother or how to be affectionate. What if the child grew to hate her, her brief happiness had existed with her mother and with her best friends Furlan and Isabel. After that, she had locked away her heart and thrown away the key, wanting to protect herself from anymore emotional pain.
Hanji then placed one of his hands on her head supportively, staring into an abyss. There was no right or wrong way to raise a child, you simply had to do the best you could. They were both headed into strange and mysterious territory and it was normal to be scared, but they would get through it together which was the most important thing.
"We'll be ok Levi, that much I do know" he said gently stroking her hair. They would be far from perfect parents in his opinion, but they would be loved and raised right. They would be protected and cared for, though it would be an anything but easy childhood. It would be damn near better than the ones the two of them had been through.
Levi softened as she listened quietly, somehow, he knew the right words to ease her soul. To make her fears go away, as if he had some form of magic. A small smile spreading across her face. A warmth growing in her chest, knowing that everything would be ok somehow. That even though it would be hard they would get through this.
"I've put on weight Y'know, soon I'll be huge" she teased. It wouldn't take her long to lose it though, given she would find ways to exercise despite having a baby and being a mother. Just because she would be a mother didn't mean she would be a pushover, hell because she would be a parent she would be even scarier than before.
She dared anyone to say something bad about her kid. They touch a hair on her kids head or even so much as look at them funny. They would rue the fucking day they even so much as tried to make her kid cry. Hell hath no fury, like a protective mother. She would like to see them try and fuck with her, they would deeply regret it.
"Curves are sexy" Hanji replied casually. Her boobs would get bigger too, he couldn't wait to see that either. As the baby grew inside of her, the body prepared milk to feed the baby. However, he would help support her and makes things as comfortable as he could. Though she would have a lot of difficulties during that time.
Levi smirked, could he get any cheesier. But all these words brought her a comfort she didn't know she needed. Making her mood much better than it had been before. "My moods may worsen, what happens if I attack you" she replied playfully. She doubted anyone would dare go against her during this time. Even if they did it wouldn't end well.
"I'd rather it be sexy attack then angry attack" Hanji replied. He was yet to see the horny side of pregnant Levi, but he was eager to see her whenever that did happen. Hell, he would love to take her right now he but didn't want to force her. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible throughout this whole process no matter what.
Levi snorted, he was so full of it but it made her smile. He was putting up with all of this because he genuinely cared about her. That meant more than he knew. To know he was committed to staying beside her. She then rested on his chest affectionately, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He was so soft and warm, making her feel safe and comforted. Making her forget all of her troubles.
She slowly closed her eyes, the warmth of his chest, the sound of his heart and the comfort of his embrace lingering in her mind. Soon she found herself falling into slumber peacefully. Dreaming peacefully on his lap while Hanji held her close to him, she didn't know what personal heaven felt like, but this was close enough for her.
Hanji blinked as he realized Levi was being quiet, that usually meant she was thinking or sulking. Making him wonder if she was still troubled which caused him some concern. "Levi?" he asked curiously. Was she feeling sick? Was something on her mind? Though he didn't mind her being quiet, he still liked to make conversation with her. He then felt her shoulders rise and fall softly, small breaths coming from her mouth.
He then realized she had fallen asleep on him, was he really that comfortable that she had passed out? He smiled fondly and tried not to laugh out of worry of waking her. "What am I going to do with you Levi?" he teased. Sometimes she really was like a child herself. But it only made him love her even more than before.
Chapter 5: Celebration
Levi reflects upon her role as mother and Hanji's development. While the trainee's host a little surprise
Levi was many things, unsociable, short tempered and hardworking. But an idiot wasn't one of them. She was well aware that people were staring at her and had been for what felt like weeks now. Their stares burning into her back like knives, as if she was somehow the human petting zoo and new attraction for their entertainment.
Ever since people found out she was pregnant, endless rumours and gossip had spread around the base. Endless suspicions running around that were driving her up the damn wall. There were a lot of people that didn't like her as it was, meaning they were enjoying seeing her pregnant and making up lies about her child.
Thank god for Erwin using his authority to clear the air and get rid of most of the rats. But that didn't mean it stopped completely, there would always be those who could slip through the cracks. There would always be people asking questions no matter where you went. Desperate to know what happened in every single one of your personal experiences.
She knew what they were staring at, but she could at least be grateful it wasn't because of her height for once. But if they had any form of respect at all, they would avert their gaze at once. If they thought she was scary before, they would have nightmares of what she was capable of doing despite being a pregnant woman.
This was a natural process, all women carried the ability to create life. She was of the right age to and was expected had she not been a soldier. Because of her duty, a family had been out of the question. Not wanting to put her child in a difficult life, not the same way she had growing up. Wanting better for them than what she had been through growing up.
But there was nothing they could do about it now, she had accepted her fate as a mother to be. And secretly, she was excited to raise the life that she and Hanji had so carefully made. Her baby bump was more noticeable than ever, making others around her aware that she was carrying a baby inside of her. However, being so far along she could no longer wear her uniform.
But she had been banned from going onto the battlefield while in her condition. Though they had lost one of their strongest fighters, Erwin was not willing to put the safety of her child at risk. She no longer fit into her trousers, shirt or any of her clothes. Her body having changed compared to what it used to be. But because of being pregnant, she was no longer a soldier, for the time being at least.
Though, returning to the battlefield would be a conflicting decision to make being a mother. Though the child was not born yet, she was already becoming maternal and protective over her baby. Knowing what dangers her child would face, given they still hadn't come any closer to defeating the titans and now she was bringing her child into this.
She could still work in her office and do paperwork, if she could concentrate enough without falling asleep on the desk. Her body prone to back ache and mental breakdowns because of hormones. Every little thing pissing her off, no matter what it was it just caused her to snap. Lashing out at nearly anyone who rubbed her the wrong way or even looked at her funny.
She had a million emotions rushing through her body a mile a minute. Causing her to act a little crazy because of them. But luckily some people were being understanding of her situation. Knowing the strain and emotional pressure that she was currently under, that she couldn't help but act a little out of the ordinary through all of this.
She leaned back against the bench wearily, having wanted to get some fresh air to cure her nausea. Rubbing her swollen belly in hopes of getting the baby to calm down and allow her to feel better. The struggles of being a mother was a challenge and she had respect for women who went through this. Even before experiencing it for herself, knowing how hard a job it could be.
She was now 5 months along with the baby, as it seemed to be growing fast. Meaning it was healthy at least, something she could be grateful for even if it was a pain in the ass. Knowing her child was doing well. Making itself known by moving around in her belly a lot, especially during the night. Making it hard for her to sleep sometimes, that was when she was able to find a comfortable position.
She was grateful at least that her civilian clothes that she was forced to wear at least suited her. She swore if Erwin or Hanji chose something ridiculous or showy, she would have beaten them within an inch of their lives. Though she was weakened because of her pregnancy, limiting her fighting skills. But that didn't mean her strength or power was gone.
Not allowing them to take advantage of her for their own amusement while she carried the baby. Knowing full well they would have their fun when they were able, knowing she had her limitations now. Though she had been skeptical, when she finally saw the dress she had been touched. Allowing her to become nostalgic and somewhat emotional upon seeing the garment chosen for her.
Standing there in awe as she gazed upon it, eventually holding it close to her. Stroking the material as she allowed herself to reminisce and even shed a few tears. Bittersweet memories coming back. The dress reminded her of something her mother would have worn. Similar to the dress she wore right up until she died. Bringing back memories she never knew she still carried inside of her.
It was a plain white dress, that reached just above her ankles. It had long sleeves that reached her elbows and had a V shaped stretched collar. With a slight ruffle on the chest and lace at the bottom. Though it was indeed maternity wear during her time being pregnant, she had thought about altering it, so she could continue to wear it after the baby was born. It would be a shame to waste it.
Though she had no idea where they had managed to get such a thing, she was indeed grateful for it. But if anyone said anything about her clothes, they best be prepared for backlash. She may have been pregnant, but she was no pushover that was for damn sure. She was still capable of putting someone in their damn place if need be. Nothing had changed by that extent.
She was still the same person, she was just making life changes that took a lot to handle. But she had been reassured that she would slowly adapt to the role and become happy eventually. As there was no greater feeling than the love you would feel for your child once it was born. Never realizing how precious something could be to you.
"Captain Levi!" a familiar voice yelled loudly snapping her from her thoughts. Thank goodness, they had found her. Wasn't she tired from wondering about on her feet from carrying the baby? Though he admired her stamina through all of this, pushing herself wasn't good for herself or the baby. She needed to be more thoughtful of her actions, it would have consequences.
Levi frowned, so much for her peace and quiet. Wondering if she could ever get away from people. She already had to deal with Hanji, though she was glad he was eager to be a father. He was awfully touchy feely nowadays, to the point of being annoying. Hoping that he would have learned to keep his distance.
Levi lay on her back with an annoyed expression, trying hard to enjoy her book seeing as there was little else she could do. But this was getting damn near ridiculous now and she had more than enough. Wishing he would find something else to keep himself appeased when his mind wondered and needed stimulation to keep him entertained.
She had known from the start that Hanji would be there for her, after their touching talk when she told him for the first time. Knowing that he wouldn't abandon her throughout this difficult time. Though she was glad he was so eager and happy about this. Personal space no longer seemed to exist, causing her to question whether or not he should sleep outside instead.
If it meant she got some peace and quiet without her stomach becoming a topic of conversation so be it. It was rare anyone talked about anything else when she came up as a topic nowadays. Like they had forgotten the person she used to be before the baby, as if she wasn't humanities strongest soldier anymore. Just an ordinary woman.
"Amazing, truly a miracle. So cute, so cute!" Hanji mumbled happily tears welling up. Birth was not only a beautiful thing but the miracle of life in general. Unable to believe how amazing this was. How Levi had never thought she could be a good mother was a mystery to him. She was already fitting well into the role and looking after their unborn baby like a natural. Showing she had it in her.
Levi was developing fast and she couldn't be any less proud of becoming a father. Eager to meet the face of his and Levi's child when they were eventually born into this amazing world. But feeling them move and communicate with them while in the fetus. It was truly an amazing thing, causing him to want to be closer with her. To understand their baby better.
Levi irked, her eyebrow twitching. While she was glad he was happy about the baby, it was all he seemed to do nowadays. Her body was getting stiff and she would need to turn over at some point. She didn't want to get cramps or that would just leave her in a shitty mood for the rest of the day. Like she said, she didn't want to take it out on Hanji unnecessarily by accident which would cause her to regret it.
However, she was trying to be patient as to not snap at him. But her patience was slowly wearing thin and hormones sure as hell were not helping in this moment whatsoever. She was a mixture between irritated, tired, hungry and emotional. Though she had no idea which side of her would come out first. Thus she was trying to contain herself and not let them show.
"Hanji" she replied calmly. Trying to keep her cool despite the fact she so badly wanted to push him off and tell him to find a hobby. She was trying to be reasonable and not snap at him. But his clingy attitude and obsession with her baby starting to become irritating. Wondering why he couldn't be helpful instead of touchy feely.
Hanji peered up at her curiously still rubbing her belly. He had read somewhere that this sort of thing comforted the baby, thus it would not cause Levi too much discomfort and keep them calm. He had been thinking about her this whole time and tried not to get in her way. But his emotions got the better of him and he couldn't help but be a little excited about all of this.
Levi shifted, seeing his damn face like that melted her heart. Damn it, why did her baby daddy have to be so cute? She then sighed heavily "Could you knock that off. Its getting annoying" she replied sternly. She was glad he was embracing his role as a future father, but this was too much. She wasn't some human petting zoo for him to do more of his research on for crying out loud.
Surely, he had stuff on the titans to do and business to take care of. I mean he wasn't stifled from his duties like she was. So why? Why was he spending his every waking moment with her only to fan-girl over their baby? Wouldn't he get into trouble for it? How was Erwin not being stricter with him about the work he still had to do.
Hanji blinked and then sat up with a smile, then wrapped his arms around her making her blush. God, she was so cute when she was mad, even more so now when she was pregnant. She was blossoming into even more of a mature woman as she went through her development. Her sex appeal advancing at an alarming rate that it was hard for him to hold back.
"I can't help it Levi, I just love you so much. I can't wait to meet out baby" he replied happily. He wondered if they would have his personality and Levi's looks. Or his looks and Levi's personality. Either way their child would be perfect, both a blend of their combined DNA. The bi-product of their affections for one another and hopefully would carry their skills in battle and intelligence.
Levi felt her cheeks heat, that was the cheesiest thing she had ever heard and yet made her so happy. This man was the father of her child, but she couldn't imagine it being anyone else. She bowed her head, resting it on his arm as she felt her cheeks flush. "Idiot" she muttered. She found it hard to believe this guy with the mentality of a curious child was going to be a parent.
Levi looked up quietly, her eyes filled with a silent rage. Hoping to vent her displeasure at being disturbed to whoever was calling her. Maybe if they saw her expression it may scare them off and return her peaceful silence. She looked up to see Eren hurrying towards her. Out of all the trainees he cared for her opinion and idolized her the most. Which was both admirable and creepy at the same time.
Given she was pregnant, her raging hormones gave her little tolerance for a lot of things. One of them being Eren's ability to be a pain in the ass who never stopped asking questions. She sighed heavily, venting her silent rage. "What is it Yeager?" she asked sharply. He better have a damn good excuse to be disturbing her peace and quiet in such a rude manner. It was rare she got any nowadays.
Eren stopped to catch his breath momentarily, having run all this way to find her. He then stood up and saluted her, even if she was pregnant and off duty, she was still his superior. Though she had always radiated authority and power before, she now had a different air about her. She had a sense of maturity and womanhood about her that he had never seen before.
"Um… Captain Levi. Uh… that is. I was wondering if you would join me" he replied awkwardly. The others had told him to be really quiet about this in hopes of surprising her. Knowing how capable he was of running his mouth. He and the other cadets has bunched together in hopes of making her feel better about being a mother. God knows she was under all sorts of pressure as it was through all of this.
Levi blinked and raised her eyebrow suspiciously, Eren was known for his pranks. But she doubted he had the balls to try anything against her. Not unless he wanted to be severely punished. However, nothing in his body language gave away that this was a prank of any kind. So, she could only believe in his words and see what he had in store for her. She then sighed heavily and got to her feet.
Wincing and groaning as she did so, though not being fully swollen being pregnant was still hard work. She then turned to Eren with a silent glare, warning him that this better not be a prank. "Lead the way Yeager" she replied sternly. If this was a joke on his half, she would make sure he would pay for this. Making sure he was thoroughly punished for at least a month.
Eren nodded and quickly started walking ahead, knowing not to test her through all of this. Knowing how scary Levi could be, meaning she would be like Satan incarnate while pregnant. So he was trying to be as reasonable and not cause her any bother, knowing that he would be at risk if he even made the smallest mistake.
Eren opened a door calmly, glad he had managed to get Levi to follow him all this way here. Though he had been skeptical that this plan would work, as always Armin's ideas had followed through. He then entered quietly into the dark room though he was indeed nervous. He could feel her eyes burning into his back, suspicious of whatever antics he had in store for her.
Levi then followed suit after the teen, wondering what the hell he was up to. If he planned on taking advantage of her in the dark, then he was very much mistaken. Damn horny teenagers. She knew a lot of people had crushes on her, but they were just kids so they meant no harm. As long as they didn't overstep their boundaries.
Suddenly, the room lit up surprising her. Curtains being opened to show a bright room full of all the trainees smiling. Banners up, lots of bright colours and many of different food before her. Was this? Were they holding her some form of celebration? But it wasn't her birthday, so why on earth was all of this going on? She really had no idea, but she was pleased by it.
"Congratulations Captain Levi!" a choir of voices replied. Though they never expected this to happen, they were happy for her newfound motherhood. Glad that she was starting this new part of her life. But no matter what she was going to be their captain and would still follow her. But they would try to help out and make her life easier than it had been before. Now that she was to become a mother.
Levi blinked in surprise, in all her years she had never once had a party like this. Celebrations were not something she had ever experienced. So, this meant a lot more to her than they knew. They had gone out of their way make this just for her, obviously having put in a lot of planning and effort into this little get together.
Armin came forwards wearing a bashful smile "We all chipped in, though it's nothing fancy" he replied apologetically. But they had done their very best to make it special for her. It wasn't often someone had a baby after all. Given they were all soldiers, such human desires often had to be put on hold for the sake of humanity.
Levi stared at them all in awe, they hadn't needed to do this. But they still had, and it meant so much. She had forgotten that aside from being her cadets, they were also kids too. She then smiled gratefully, her hormones getting the better of her as she felt tears well up. She was not usually one to cry, but nobody had done something this sweet for her before.
Sasha sat down beside Levi first, though Connie and Jean had gotten on her case about it. She didn't see anything wrong with the kid having such a present. It would be fun to play with after all. "Here you go, Connie and Jean were against it. But I thought it would be cool" she replied with a smile. If Levi liked it, she would have proven them all wrong which was enough for her.
Levi blinked and took the gift, half expecting it to be something strange. Sasha was known for being quirky, but she was none the less grateful for the thought. Though she was an odd girl, Sasha had a big heart and was smarter than she appeared to be. Slowly unwrapping the brown paper that encased the gift inside.
Her eyes then widened in awe at what she saw before her. "Is… is this?" she replied in shock holding up the weapon. It was one of the wooden swords from the training camps they had come from. Though one would expect her to be mad, instead she was simply surprised by how expected this present was. That and how she had smuggled it out.
Sasha smiled in a goofy way, knowing how odd the present seemed. "They may as well learn to look after themselves. Besides, they can pretend to be a pirate" she replied in amusement. The kid would need toys after all. With their imagination they could be whatever they wanted to be, which would make for a lot of happy memories.
Levi stroked the weapon quietly. Though technically it counted as stealing, they were no longer trainees. When she had grown up in the underground, she had first owned a knife too. She then folded it up and nodded at Sasha gratefully. Though she hoped her child would not end up the same way as her, she would be glad that they would know self-defense from danger.
Sasha then smiled back at her and got up, ready to go and boast to her friends about her present. Glad she could prove them wrong on Levi getting annoyed about the present. Showing that even the strangest of gifts, they could be of use to anyone should they know what to do with it. Proving their weight in gold.
Jean sat down beside Levi bashfully, worried he would get teased for this. It wasn't a very manly skill to have but he thought the gesture would be nice. But then again it wasn't much use as a soldier. He then placed the box on Levi's lap, trying to avert her gaze. He had worked for days on this and finally it had turned out nice. Putting sleep on the line just to get it finished it time.
Levi blinked, confused by his state of embarrassment. Wondering if it was an odd present or something, or if he was dared into giving this present. Though brash, Jean did have a good heart underneath his pride. Though it was hard to see. So she doubted this was a form of prank or a dare, he wasn't that type of guy.
She opened the box and her eyes widened, her dull blue eyes locked on it. Stroking the material affectionately, unable to believe that he had made this. He certainly had some skills. This would come in handy though one would not expect it, he could make all sorts of things that could be of use to them during winter and such.
"Its dumb I know. But, at least the baby will never be cold" he replied awkwardly. His mum had done the same to him growing up, teaching him the skill so it would be of use to him one day. It was something it could wear to keep warm as it grew up. Keeping it safe and protected always. Which was always important for a kid.
Levi blinked, inside was a carefully woven scarf and hand made at that. Hours of rigorous work had to have gone into this. But she never thought the likes of Jean would be into needlework. She then placed the cover on the box and placed it down beside her. She then turned to Jean gratefully "You're a good kid Kirstein, if only you were mature enough to not let your temper get the better of you" she teased.
If he was capable of being as thoughtful as this. Then why not show it, his teammates would appreciate him more and Mikasa may see what a good guy he was. But then it was not her place to interfere. But she could always offer advice and give her opinion on the matter, helping them through mistakes so they would come out better.
Jean blushed, not knowing what to say to this. Hearing the tone in her voice which meant she was telling the truth. But he wondered if this was the hormones speaking or if it was herself. "T… Thank you ma'am" he replied shyly. Not wanting to be rude and leave her waiting with a reply. He had thought she would tease him for making such a mushy present for the baby.
He then got up and went to talk to Sasha and Connie about his homemade present. Hoping that they would boost his confidence a little about how Levi had really liked the present. From the corner of her eye she saw Connie give him a thumbs up and Sasha asking him some questions with hopeful eyes. Possibly asking for a scarf herself.
Mikasa sat down quietly beside Levi, feeling embarrassed about this gift. It was something that her mother had given her before she passed away. Now it was time for it to be passed on. Though she would one-day share this with her own children someday, it felt only right that Levi's child have it too. It was a family tradition of sorts after all. So, it was only right to pass it on.
She then handed Levi a crest, it would be wrong to mark it on their skin. Though her mother had done this to her, she had a stronger tolerance to pain compared to most. But whether Levi's child would or not was up for debate. Unlike how her mother did, so forming it on an item seemed better. So, they could keep it with them always.
"My mother gave this to me before she died. It was the emblem of our family, a birth right. So… it only feels right that your child have it too" she replied awkwardly. Though not as mushy as the others, it was still important in her opinion. Their child knowing where they came from, and should they awaken like Levi and herself. What they were capable of.
Levi blinked and then took the handmade crest carefully. This was probably the most emotional of all, though neither Mikasa nor herself had spoken about it. This was something that the girls mother had done before death. It was a right of passage and teaching them about heritage, of their family and what it stood for. Given her parents were both dead, this would mean a great deal to the younger Ackerman.
She then stroked the badge carefully, it was hand woven and firm. Like Jean's it was handmade and must have taken a long time to make. She had learned Mikasa's late mother had taught her to sow. It was funny how the strangest of traits could prove useful to someone, especially when it came to gifts. But she was sure each gift would make her child happy, when they learned the true value.
She then looked at Mikasa, her dull blue eyes hard but kind. Showing her gratitude to the younger female. Knowing this must have been hard to make as it would bring back sad memories. "Thank you Mikasa. I appreciate this" she replied calmly. Though the lineage of their family was a mystery, it was something they should celebrate none the less. For they were a rare breed.
Mikasa nodded, she knew Levi was not one who was good at showing weakness easily. Having developed her strong nature over time, but she knew she appreciated the gift. She then gave her a small smile before getting up to go and join Eren and Armin at the back. As she was feeling a little shy about having shown such a soft side of herself.
Levi sat in the corner, sipping her tea and occasionally eating the cake in front of her. She had no idea of how they had managed to make this given ration control, but it was well made. But then again, ask the king enough and he would give the Military whatever they wanted. So, she had a feeling that Erwin may have pulled a few strings in his favour to make this happen.
She got the feeling Jean and Sasha may have made this, given their skill for cooking. The two held many talents that were often overlooked because of their dorky personality and goofy friendship. Showing there was more to them that meets the eye. The cake was soft and moist, flavoured with a zingy citrus but well made. Something she could appreciate.
These brats, her soldiers whom she was in care of. The future of humanity, they had gone out of their way to have a little party to celebrate her pregnancy. Though she had never expected it. She never thought they would even care, as it was in natural human biology after all. But somehow it made her happy, to know that they did respect and care for her in their own way.
Her child would be loved and spoiled, as she had never had these things growing up. She had lived in a dirty, dark and cold place where the sun barely ever shone, and people were forgotten. Her own mother doing the unthinkable just to get by and put food on the table. But it was something she would forever be grateful for. And a gesture she would never forget, for her entire existence.
She had never thought about it or noticed it before, but these kids really looked up to her. They idolized her and in a sense, they saw her as a guardian figure, respecting her wisdom and leadership. She then took a bite out of the cake quietly, not wanting it to go to waste after all the trouble it had cost. It wasn't often she even wanted such luxuries despite her position, not wanting to stoop to that level.
As she ate, she was pleased by the many flavours that hit her tongue. The baby inside of her liked it too, which meant hopefully she could keep it down. Which nowadays was a rarity given her change in palette. A small smile appearing on her face "Its good" she replied quietly.