Seconds after his boyfriend walked out on him, Gabriel’s anger got the best of him and he punched the wall. Staring at the hole in the wall, he fell to his knees as the adrenaline seeped out of his body. Blood coated the busted up wall and his hand was covered with blood and drywall. Gabriel’s anger at his boyfriend over his birthday gift set him off and thought their relationship was better than that.
Castiel’s eyes sparkled, his smile brightened up his face, and he was glowing as he handed over the wrapped gift. Gabriel smiled gleefully with a bounce to his body, like a little kid. Their eyes locked, stopping Gabe in his tracks, lost in the moment of him and his boyfriend.
Cas chuckled, nudging Gabe’s thigh with his knee to get his attention. Clearing his throat, he shook his head, clearing his thoughts and stared at his boyfriend. The man he gave his heart away too.
“Open it, Gabe! Come on!”
“Okay, Cassie! I’m getting there.”
Bright blue eyes watched Gabe tear the gift wrap off of the box, ball it up and throw it playfully at his boyfriend. A hand reached up and caught the balled up paper and chuckled at the easy playfulness they share behind closed doors.
With the gift wrap off, Gabe pulled the large piece of clear tape centered down the middle. Once it was gone, Gabe opened the box and reached in to take the packaged gift out. He held the gift in a tight grip as he took in the colors: red, tan, and black. He doesn’t need to open it, Gabe already knew what it was; it was a freaking inflatable blow up love doll with pleasureable abilities.
Gabriel clenched his fists and threw the gift at Cas, shocked that his boyfriend of five years would get a gift like that, Cas should know him better than that. Years ago he was a douchebag and a ladies man, women couldn’t get enough of. Gabe was scared to admit that he preferred men, but having Lucifer, Michael, or Raphael as older brothers he would never have lived it down. He abruptly stood up and glared at Castiel, a man who knew that he was not attracted to women.
“Why, Cas? Why’d you give me this gift? You’re it for me, there is no one else for me.”
“Gabe! It's a joke! But you really should open it. I thought it would help our relationship. A way to prepare for adding another into the mix at times. We talked about this.”
“A joke, Cas. You can’t be serious. I can’t believe you got me this. And a woman doll on top of it.”
Cas tilted his head and shook his head, quite disappointed at the turn of events. “Gabe, it’s not what you think. Really. I love you, only you!! We talked about this. It’s what we both agreed too.” He turned and walked out of the room.
Gabe watched his boyfriend leave without so much as a goodbye. Though, he could tell that Cas was upset at his reaction to his gift. Punching the wall made him feel better, the anger of receiving a blow-up love doll was not something he expected from Cas at all. And he looked back at the gift and picked it up. He knew they discussed about adding another member into their love sessions but only on occasions. It was a turn on for both of them and they wanted to add an aggressive lover to spice things up. They wanted Samandriel to join them but Gabe suggested to his boyfriend they should practice before inviting him into the mix.
Gabe reached for the gift and tore off the plastic wrap and he watched it unfold. Tears ran down his face as the love doll showed a man in red shorts with black hair and shoes. “Fuck,” he screamed out in frustration. He made a mistake and pissed off his boyfriend. He would have to make it up to Cas for his mistake and for assuming the doll was a woman.
Making a quick decision, Gabriel tossed the love doll onto the couch and grabbed his keys off the small table in the entrance way. He pulled the door open and it slammed against the wall. There was no time to waste, he ran towards the car and turned the engine on, making it purr to life. Throwing the gear into reverse, he slammed his foot onto the pedal and stomped on the gas to stop it and shifted gears. He peeled down the street and made his way towards his boyfriend's apartment. Punching the steering wheel released some pent up anger, but he knew the truth, he messed up dearly and may have pushed Cas further away from him. He knew that their relationship would end because he could never commit and Gabe never missed the compassionate and love glowing in the bright blue orbs of his boyfriend.
A horn pierced his ears and he stepped on the gas, trying his best to not speed like a crazy maniac. Gabe’s anger was boiling at the way he treated Cas, who was offering them a special gift they spoke about to strengthen their relationship. Not that they wanted to add a third party every single night, but their fantasies did have another person involved.
Not knowing how he arrived in Castiel’s driveway, Gabriel sat there listening to the hum of the engine. He let it soothe and relax him before he entered his boyfriend's house. His fingers tightened around the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. The air around him grew thick, Gabe had to take slow and shallow inhales to bring oxygen into his body. It felt like a bubble surrounded him, suffocating him with his own body. And without realizing it, there was a faint knocking connecting with the bubble, but not breaking through.
The pounding echoed along the wall of the bubble until it was broken by a force unknown to him. His hands remain glued onto the wheel, his body stiff and tight; the need of a crowbar to break the invisible strings holding him together.
“Gabe. Gabe. Look at me. It's okay. I’m here.” The panicked voice penetrating the white noise ringing his ears.
Not fully hearing the words, he felt a hand on his shoulder squeeze and shake him firmly in Gabe’s seat.
The warm hand firmly pressed down hard on his shoulder, pushed hard, shouting, “Gabriel, you’re scaring me. Look at me damn it!”
Turning blurry eyes on his boyfriend, gasping for air, Gabriel grabbed Castiel by his shirt pulling himself up and out of the car. His boyfriend stumbled forwards, gaining his balance at the quick change of momentum, steady hands wrapped around his waist, making the connection the best way they could.
Gabriel forced his arms around Castiel’s neck, hiding his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, chin on his own arms. They stood there holding each other on the lawn, the blazing sun beating down on them. That’s when he felt the wetness upon his arms, realizing that he’s crying, body shuddering at the fact he was an idiot, too afraid to make a commitment, and fear of admitting what he really wants.
He felt the shift of Cas’s hands wrap around his waist, holding him tightly, his boyfriend’s hand moved slowly up his back, reassuring him things would be okay. I’m here. Things would work out. Then the gentlest pressure on his forehead; the press of soft, smooth lips kissing him with a hand cradling his head to keep Gabe there. Soft feathers could be felt on his back and arms, the softest connection of eased grace reaching out, calming him to his core.
Gabriel knew his boyfriends onyx wings were wrapped around him, comforting over his major panic attack of denial, of keeping things from the one he loves. He had to make things right, he should be the one comforting Castiel, not the other way around.
“Gabe. Look at me, please.” The soothing voice encouraged.
Looking up, Gabe saw love, concern, and hope shining in the bright blue eyes of his boyfriend. He knew things would be okay, just needs to make things right. Stop being afraid of being who he truly was when Castiel loves him for who he was.
“Cas, I’m sorry. I was a jerk. You deserve better. I’m not what you need and I’m too afraid to tell you the things I want.”
Tilting his head, a soft sad smile appeared on his boyfriend’s face. Gabe knew what was coming and maybe it's time he heard it, it may just help.
“Gabe. I love you and I want to be with you. Not anyone else. But, yes, you need to start being honest with me. Stop hiding behind the man you think you have to be. Just be yourself. I fell in love with the archangel who knew who he was and what he wanted. Where’d he go?” A smile growing and lighting up his face.
Here it was, the moment being offered to him to be who he was always meant to be. He chuckled and Cas’s arms and wings tightened their hold on his body giving him the encouragement he needed to give his boyfriend the man he once was, but fear took over when they shared their secrets and fantasies of wanting another person in their relationship. Helping them to grow and learn more about the other and pleasuring one another to the fullest.
“Cassie. I love you. Always have and I’m sorry for being a douchebag. Well, you’re douchebag. I want to have Samandriel join us on occasion, just not all the time. And I forgot and mildly freaked out about the love doll, knowing all too well that we discussed that.”
“And I love you too, Gabriel. And you will always be my douchebag, who I love with all my heart. I never wanted Samandriel to stay or become part of our relationship. I wanted him to enhance our relationship and sexual pleasure with one another. And you did help me narrow down the love doll you know?”
Hearing Castiel’s words sent him into a laughing fit. His boyfriend was true to his word. They went to the sex shop a few weeks back, looking at various toys and accessories they could add to their sexual pleasure. He stopped to look at the wall of pictures for love dolls that could be ordered. The love doll was called Nate. He had black hair with light blue eyes, tanned skinned with a medium sized penis.
“So, you got me, Nate? The one that looked like you? So, why the toy love doll?” He asked his boyfriend with curiosity.
“Hell yeah, I got you, Nate. He’s hot and attractive, just like you.” And Cassie got all shy and blushed before saying more, “So, you knew your real gift was on its way. And that I’m excited about the toy too and to see how hot we look with him.”
Gabe’s eyes widened and his smile grew wide, “Oh yeah. I’m never going to keep things from you ever again.”
Cas laughed, loud and open. Gabe was pleased things were better between them and he wanted that doll to come in the mail now.
Gabe leaned forward capturing his boyfriend’s lips with his own. He couldn’t control himself, he needed to kiss his boyfriend with a sweet pressure of lips, being held by his boyfriend, wings and all. Things were going to be fine now that he knew it was really okay for him to share his thoughts and feelings with the one he loves.