Chapter 1: Five Places That The Doctor Took Buffy
What it says on the tin.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #42 "Five Things"
The air was filled with the scents of cooking; spices and fish and hot oil and woodsmoke; underneath it all was a tang of salt, brought in by the sea breeze that ruffled the canopy above them.
The food had come in woven waterproof baskets; the eating implements resembled a fork and a spoon, though the fork looked like it had been made by a demented dentist.
"You're right, Doctor," Buffy said, licking her spoon, "the shrimp is divine." She leaned forward across the table and lowered her voice. "But you should have warned me that the people were blue!"
2. San Francisco
The Doctor and Buffy hopped onto the cable-car. Buffy frowned at the occupants. "I thought San Francisco was supposed to be hip! Those fashions, they're so Nineties," she complained.
"This is the nineteen-nineties," the Doctor said.
"Why did you bring us here?"
"You said you wanted a custom T-shirt," the Doctor said. "I know a talented artisan who does hand-painted T-shirts. This is where she lives."
"Why now, though?"
"Oh. Sorry." She perked up. "Hey, that's a plus for time travel; you can visit dead people!" She clapped her hand over her mouth. "That didn't come out right."
It was hot and humid. The dim green light filtered through the canopy of leaves from the huge trees overhead.
"Don't want to make a snap judgement here," Buffy said, "but I suspect this isn't the Extraordinarily Beautiful Alps of Campos."
The Doctor shrugged. "Are you up for the Extraordinarily Beautiful Jungles of Campos?"
"Are they extraordinarily beautiful?"
He grinned. "I don't know, I haven't seen them yet."
Buffy smiled back. "Just let me get some insect repellent."
"Best not; alien insects, don't know how they'd react."
"If I get bitten, I'm blaming you."
They strolled away from the TARDIS, and into the tropical forest. Jewelled lizards scuttled through the undergrowth. Bird-calls echoed over the hum of insects. It was, indeed, extraordinarily beautiful.
A roar shook the jungle. It was between them and the TARDIS.
"Get behind me," they both said in unison.
"Oi!" Buffy said. "Which one of us is the Vampire Slayer?"
"Which one of us has met more aliens than you've had hot dinners?"
They were still arguing when the source of the roar came upon them; a ball of brown fur which was nothing but mouth.
"Oh. It's a Fizgig. They're harmless."
"I can see that."
Buffy tested her bonds. The grass rope was surprisingly strong; it had been coated with rubber, which made it hard to fray. She and the Doctor were tied to opposite sides of the same enormous tree.
"Really, I didn't think the Fooralim would be so unfriendly."
"Let's just get away from the Fool-thems and-"
"Foorali, actually. Fooralim is the plural form."
"We're about to be eaten by purple pigmy elephants, and you're giving a grammar lesson?"
"For all we know, incorrect grammar is what upset them."
"Buffy..." He sounded just like Giles.
"I kinda called their chief the Foo-La-La."
The soil was red and wet and stuck to her boots like claggy glue. Buffy wondered if she should have traded her leather boots for trainers; not that the boots weren't sturdy and strong, but trainers had a better grip in slick mud.
"Ah, breathe that fresh English air!" the Doctor exclaimed, taking a lungful.
"The cold, damp and drizzling air, you mean?"
"Cold? This is spring!"
"Thin-skinned Californian here: it's cold!"
"You're wearing a jacket."
"That's why I'm wearing it."
"Just over the hill, and we can have some Devonshire tea."
"Tea? Do they have coffee?"
Thanks to Threadlines for corrections.
Chapter 2: Neutralized
Another day, another peril.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #53 "Green"
"Vinegar!" the Doctor called out as he locked the door with his sonic screwdriver.
"What about lemon juice?"
"Is it freshly squeezed?"
"I don't know!" Buffy emptied the water from a vase of flowers and poured the lemon juice in.
There was a thump at the door; a muffled voice: "I smell humans!"
"Typical," Buffy said. "We go for a wander and stumble across some pissed-off alien Mafia."
The door burst open, and Buffy threw the vase at the alien. The Slitheen exploded, spattering bits of itself everywhere.
"Ugh!" Buffy shuddered. "Demon slime, alien slime, why is it always green?"
Chapter 3: Fitting Attire
The t-shirt was lovely.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #69 "Gifts"
Follow-up to "Five Places: San Francisco".
The t-shirt was lovely. Black, showing a night scene; moon, stars, and a church steeple in silhuette.
The Doctor tilted his head to one side, as if that would give him a better perspective. "I like it."
"Good." Buffy thrust a package at him. "This one's yours."
"Mine?" The Doctor opened the package, pulling out a larger black t-shirt, blazoned with a glowing nebula scattered with stars. "Wait a minute, this has words on it."
Buffy grinned. "Yep! Mine too."
Picked out subtley in the stars of both t-shirts was a single phrase: "World Saver".
The Doctor smiled. "Thank you."
Chapter 4: Dance
Buffy dreamed she was dancing.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #55 "Music"
Buffy dreamed she was dancing, dancing with knives whirling about her, leaping over crossed staves, skipping with partners made of sticks and chiffon. The music was her heartbeat, the melody was her blood. She was made of air; nothing could touch her, not life, not death, nor sorrow, nor weariness.
Faintly, in the distance, someone was calling her name.
The music paused for breath, and something cold and wet hit her on the cheek. She woke up. It wasn't a dream. She stumbled to the Doctor's side, exhausted.
"Sorry, I didn't realize that Parwatee dancing would be quite so infectious."
Chapter 5: Collateral Damage
The world-saveage exception does not mean compensation is not required.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #85 "Making Do"
"I am watching!" Buffy said. "They're nearly through the outer door."
"I need your watch," the Doctor said carefully.
"Oh." She didn't ask why, she just handed it to him. She heard the hum of the sonic screwdriver behind her. The huge double doors down the corridor were turning a rosy pink; she could feel the heat even here.
The Doctor leaped to his feet. "Right! Back door."
"But there's no back door."
"Not exactly a door," he said, darting across the corridor and opening a hatch.
"The garbage chute?"
"You'd rather stay here?"
"Of course not."
The fall down the chute was exhilarating and scary. The landing was cushioned by the mix of stinking glop and papers in the huge metal bin in the basement. Buffy wiped something smelly and unidentifiable out of her hair before she followed the Doctor over the side of the bin. They barely managed to get out of the basement when the building exploded.
"Your watch must be fast," the Doctor said.
"My watch?" She stared at the debris. "You used my watch in your gizmo?"
"Needed a timer."
"I need a new watch!" She plucked at her clothes. "And a new outfit."
Chapter 6: Battling The Elements
Just when you think it can't get worse...
Challenge: tth_drabbles #018 - The Elements
The earth shook.
"Watch out!" Buffy said, pulling the Doctor out of the way as a huge chunk of granite detatched itself from the roof of the cavern. The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, protecting their heads with their arms as debris fell around them.
Eventually the shaking stopped. Buffy got to her feet and picked up the torch. She picked her way through the rubble to the cave entrance.
"You're not going to like this," Buffy said. "The entrance is blocked."
"Oh, they'll dig us out eventually," the Doctor said.
"I'm always hopeful."
The dust had settled. The torch seemed bright in the darkness.
"I hope I'm not imagining this," Buffy said, "but does the air feel stuffy to you?"
"I hadn't noticed," the Doctor said. "Respiratory bypass."
"That won't do you any good if the air runs out."
"You have a point," the Doctor said. "Have you any objections to being hypnotized?"
"What?" Buffy said. "You want me to feel better about dying? No thanks!"
"We need to conserve the air. A trance would slow down your breathing," the Doctor said calmly.
"I can do that myself."
"Really?" the Doctor said. "Brilliant!"
Buffy's meditation ended when the earth trembled again.
The Doctor frowned. "It's getting hotter."
"What's that smell?" Buffy said. "Faugh!"
"Sulphur! And where there's sulphur, there's-"
"Lava!" Buffy said, pointing to a red glow in the distance. "We've got to get out of here!"
The Doctor licked his finger and put it into the air. "Do you feel that?"
"Fresh air! The last tremor must have unblocked something."
They scrambled in the direction of the breeze, and soon they saw a faint light, from a crack leading up to daylight above.
"Can you climb?"
"Better fall than fry," Buffy said.
They made it back to the TARDIS, filthy, scratched, bruised, and slightly singed.
"Next time you want to explore some caves," Buffy said, "remind me to say no."
"Even if it's important?" the Doctor said.
"There wasn't a world-saveage exception this time," Buffy said.
She trudged to her room and tossed her jacket over a chair. She turned and froze; that door definitely hadn't been there before. She cautiously opened it. On the other side was a large bathroom, with a spa-bath, fluffy towels and toiletries. She patted the wall. "Thank you."
Five minutes later she was soaking in luxury.
Chapter 7: Swifter, Higher, Stronger
Buffy can't resist a challenge, especially when she's bored.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #095 - Swifter, higher, stronger
Disclaimer: Universes not mine. Words mine.
The Doctor slid out from underneath the TARDIS console. "Right, that should have fixed it." He looked around. "Buffy?"
"Yes?" Buffy said. She was perched in one of the branched coral-like pillars that encircled the console.
The Doctor looked up at her, his forehead crinkling in puzzlement. "What are you doing up there?"
"I was bored."
"It was irresistible."
He raised one eyebrow. "What was irresistible?"
She gave him a half-smile. "It must be my primate ancestry."
She leapt from one coral branch to the next, doing an acrobatic half-twist. "Don't you think they're a bit like monkey-bars?"
Chapter 8: Hard-Working Paper
Buffy wants some psychic paper.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #101 - Paperwork
The Doctor took a leather wallet out of his inside jacket pocket and flipped it open in front of the guard. "Inspector General," he said. "We're here to inspect your ducts."
"Our ducts?" the guard said. "We don't have any ducts."
"Ducts, pipes, vents, all of the above," the Doctor asserted. "They all need to be inspected. Now!"
"Yes, sir!" The guard opened the door and they went through.
Buffy skipped alongside the Doctor as he waved his sonic screwdriver about.
"I want some," she declared.
"You want what?"
"Some psychic paper."
He flipped the wallet open. The paper inside was blank except for one word: "No."
"If you can change that to 'yes', I'll consider it."
"Perfectly fair," he said. "Psychic paper would be no good to you if you can't control it properly. Consider it a test."
Buffy pouted. "I hate tests."
"A competition with a prize?"
Buffy glared at the paper. The "No" wavered a little and then changed to "Not yet." She transferred her glare to the Doctor. "You did that on purpose!"
"You might get it with practice," he said. "Now is not the time. We have a nest of Flugelraptors to catch."
Chapter 9: Your Attention, Please
This was not the way she wanted to stand up in front of a crowd.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #102 - Give Me The Microphone
The passengers screamed as the room jerked and tilted. Whatever was attacking the dirigible must be enormous. Buffy crawled towards the stage. The bass player was curled over his instrument and the lead singer was out cold. She staggered up the steps and grabbed the microphone.
"Everyone, your attention, please!" she said. Giles, got to channel Giles, she thought. "The situation is being attended to. Please remain calm." The room jerked again and Buffy barely kept to her feet. "And grab onto something!"
There was one last jerk and something huge and grey plummeted past the windows. Doctor, thank you.
Chapter 10: Don't Tread On Me
Snakes aren't the only things you shouldn't step on.
Challenge: tthdrabbles #103 - that thing with feathers
"Buffy, stand very still," the Doctor said.
Buffy froze. She'd been through enough adventures with him to know that when he spoke in that quiet, serious tone of voice, it was best to do what he said.
"What is it?" she asked softly.
"No sudden movements," he instructed. "Slide your foot to the right. Now step sideways. Another. Good."
Buffy glanced down. Where she had been about to tread, a fluffy bundle of feathers blended in with the autumn leaves on the forest floor. It was a bird about the size of a crow, but with speckled feathers in varying shades of brown. The raggedness of its feathers and the largeness of its eyes marked it clearly as too young to be out of the nest. A pathetic cheep emerged from its beak.
"It's so cute!" Buffy cooed at it and reached out towards it. "Why are you afraid of an itty bitty chick?"
The Doctor grabbed her hand before she could bring it closer to the bird. A blood curdling screech echoed through the trees.
"It's not the chick I'm afraid of, it's the chick's mother. Run!"
"Figures," Buffy said as they ran. "Even if it's cute, it's dangerous."