"Hey, Kensi, I don't where you're finding this stuff but I'm already tired of reading about fat acceptance and health at every size and whatever else you find so I feel bad about saying all that stuff yesterday." Deeks sighed.
Kensi grinned. "Actually, Nell was very helpful. It's good reading, isn't it?"
"If I promise to never again police your food, will you stop? Look, I even used the right terminology." He looked beleaguered, even. She smiled even wider.
"I have a few more, but sure. Consider yourself schooled," Kensi said.
"So you're over your heartbreak?"
"Nothing like kicking ass," Kensi said.
"I don't mean to repeat myself, but if you want to heal your heartache, I'm happy to --"
"Shut up, we are never doing that again," she said. "And I would appreciate you not bringing it up." One time, one time after he saved her from a room of lasers, she was shaken and he was sort of hot. It was one of those things where he hadn't been hot to her in the slightest, too scruffy and tall and lean and 100% not her type but she blinked and he was hot. Not dying after she expected to was also a turn on.
He looked down and pressed his lips together. She said, "Not that it was bad, that's not what I'm saying."
"Oh, I know it was good," Deeks said.
"No woman, I'm sorry, no one's ever faked it on you?"
"I'm sure some *woman* has," he said. "But you weren't, either time. That is what I'm confused about, Kenben, is that lately you've been saying it was just that one time, which thank you for not saying it again, but is that because you're now willing to say it was two one times?"
"It was different," she sort of squeaked. After Christmas had been sweet and nearly sort of loving. Post lasers had been fierce and rough and hot. They were both technically sex. But very different versions of it. And both acceptable, she thought. One time things. If they did it again, they were practically in a relationship.
"Okay," Deeks said, quietly. "I don't want to police your sexual expression or choices. I assume that's off limits like implying there are food choices that are bad?"
"Poison is a food choice, that's definitely bad," Kensi said. "You should stop me from eating poison. Police away."
"Okay, then," he said.
He was driving her home and they'd arrived at her door.
She sat in the car.
"Okay, okay, I am sincerely sorry I said all those negative things about you eating donuts and food being bad and I suck, I'll never do it again," Deeks said. "Okay?"
She pressed her lips together. He said, "I'm super sorry. I just want us to get along, you know. I care about you. I will stop mentioning that we had sex two separate one times. Okay?"
"Oh my god," Kensi said. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking, you don't need to apologize for anything. Wow. That whole speech, your whole escalating apology was ridiculous, a little."
"Yeah, I was ridiculous," he said. He made a huffing sound.
"I was just thinking that, I think that, sex, us, is not so bad."
"It's damn good," he said, rallying back. "We work really well together. I mean, really well."
"I don't want to date," Kensi said. "I won't date my partner, it's just, it's a great way to screw up everything."
"Okay," Deeks said. Like he did not agree at all. "But sex, not sex in the butt, I mean, sex, partners with privileges maybe, that might work for you?"
"When you ask like that," Kensi said. She laughed, took off her seat belt and opened the car door. "When you ask like that, I think it might be worth a try, I mean."
He got to her door before her. She said, "You really enjoyed it, huh?"
They did it on her couch and again on her bed. She was satisfied and satiated and happy and sore after, watching him stretch. He was a like a cat, boneless. She thought about calling him her favorite kitty, but she immediately stopped herself. He was the nickname guy.
She woke up when her front door opened and immediately reached for her gun. Deeks helpfully called out, "It's just me, sugarbear."
"I can't believe I slept through you getting up and leaving," Kensi said, sitting up. She put her gun back on the bedside table.
He walked in the bedroom. "Hey, sit back down. I got your breakfast. Cappuccino, donuts, muffins, breakfast burrito. And for me, I got just the breakfast burrito and some delicious orange juice." He put the large bag on the bed next to her and the drinks on the table next to her gun.
"Thank you," she said, digging in.
They ate in silence and it was comfortable, she thought, even though she was naked and he was fully dressed. He could be tolerable.
"And you ate everything," he said, with a bit of awe in his voice.
"I was hungry," she said, getting out of bed.
"I have learned my lesson, I was only noting," he said. "Just commenting without judgment."
"Damn, Nell did a number on you," she said, laughing. "I only skimmed some of the links, she must have found some amazing ones."
"I'll happily forward them back to you so you, too, can learn about health at every size and fat acceptance."
She smiled. "I'm good," she said.
"So, speaking of no longer and things that shouldn't be no longer, should we do this again?"
She stopped at the doorway of the bathroom, her back to him. "I don't know," she said. "We should not date."
"Okay, setting that aside for later."
She said, "No, that's a given. You might make a habit of dating your partners, but I'm not doing that, ever. Never."
"Okay," he said. "If we're never doing this again, can you turn around or let me join you in the shower for one last time?"
"I can, I think we should maybe do this again. This is, like, fun sex. No strings attached. It's like glad we're alive sex. We can do that again. You can do that more than once and not have it be a relationship."
Deeks said nothing and then he said, "Okay. So I can still join in the shower?"
"Sure," she said.