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Thunder and Ice

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Sam pushed the notebook and pen across the breakfast table to Steve.

“Come on, man. Just try it. You might like it more than you think,” Sam said.

Steve sighed. He was tired of everyone he knew trying to fix him. He was fine. The Avengers were doing great. Bucky was back and living with him in the tower. What more could he ask for?

“I’m not a writer, Sam,” he replied.

“You don’t need to be. You keep too much bottled up. It’s not good for you. Now, if you really don’t want to give it a try you could always go see a therapist or something…” Steve glared at him. He didn’t want to talk to a stranger. He didn’t need to talk to anyone. “Yeah, I thought not. So try the writing.”

Steve sighed.

Sam was just trying to help. Even if Steve didn’t think he needed help. Even if he thought there wasn’t anything that could help. He took the notebook and pen.

--

“You ok, doll?” Bucky asked.

Steve rubbed his eyes. He’d been staring at this stupid empty notebook for so long that Bucky had gotten back from his evening sparring appointment with Nat.

What was he even supposed to do with this? All of the things that had happened to him were just too big. There weren’t any words for what it felt like to watch Bucky fall, to wake up without him, and then to find him again as a weapon for Hydra.

Crashing the Valkyrie. All the years in the ice. Hydra being in Shield. Everyone dying. Peggy dying.

All he could do was just stare at the page. It seemed too small a space for those thoughts. He didn’t even know how to break them down into words.

“Steve?” Bucky walked up behind him and put one hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine, Buck. Just thinking,” Steve responded.

“…Alright. You wanna cuddle on the couch before bed?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’d be great.”

He shut the notebook and shook his head. This was never going to work.

--

“Well?” Sam asked Bucky. The two of them were ostensibly out about town to help Bucky readjust to being in public again. More accurately, they had left the tower so they could gossip about Steve.

“Nothing. He just stares at it, frowning like I stole his last pair of clean socks.” Bucky sighed. It had taken him months to get to the point where he felt more like a person than a weapon, but the more he remembered about his past and growing up with Steve the more he realized that Steve wasn’t doing so well himself.

The memories he regained of Steve were filled with smiles, laughter, and passion. That kid liked to think himself funny; always had a joke on hand and a grin to lighten up the room. Growing up the two of them palled around, played games, went on adventures, got into scrapes…

The Steve he sees now, dedicated though he may be, never smiled let alone laughed. After Bucky started sleeping through the night himself, he realized that Steve wasn’t staying awake for his sake. Steve just couldn’t sleep in general; said he hadn’t been able to since he woke up from the ice.

The kid Bucky used to know had dreams. He was gonna do something someday. Ironically, the guy Bucky knows now is the fulfillment of all of those dreams. Despite that he seemed…hollow. Empty. Yeah, Steve did everything he could to help every day, but he had no hopes for himself beyond continued service. He never made plans for the future and refused to talk about the past.

And the way he threw himself into harmful situations turned Bucky cold. Steve had never been afraid of a fight, but the way he acted now was beyond reckless. It was like he wasn’t even trying to dodge sometimes.

The very few times Bucky had seen him be genuinely happy were all after they became lovers as well as friends. While Bucky felt proud and lucky that he got to be the one that brightened Steve’s life, he knew that he couldn’t be the only thing.

So he enlisted Sam, who apparently knew something was a little off with his friend but had no idea how bad it really was. Like everyone else in the future, he had just assumed that Steve was a somber guy.

Getting Steve to try and express himself through writing was only the latest in a long list of things they had tried to carefully nudge Steve’s way. So far it looked like it was working about as well as everything else.

Sam tapped his fingers on one knee.

“Alright. Thanks for the heads up. I’ll try and think up something else that way I’ll be ready next time I talk to him.”

Bucky shook his head.

“Good luck, man.”

They both knew how stubborn Steve could get when he had decided he didn’t want to do something. Sam was going to need all the luck he could get.

--

Steve tried several more times over the course of the week, but each time he just ended up staring at blank pages. He said as much to Sam the next time they got together for lunch.

“I’m sure that it really is helpful for some folks Sam, just not for me,” Steve said as he cut his sandwich in half.

“Uh huh. Have you given it a chance? Like, really gave it a solid go?” Sam asked.

“Yes, and nothing happened. I’ve been staring at an empty notebook for days.”

Sam leaned back and pursed his lips in thought.

Good, Steve thought. Maybe Sam would leave him alone now.

“Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way.” Steve felt briefly relieved and vindicated. “Alright, try this. Try writing something fun.”

Steve scowled.

“Fun? Really Sam?”

“Yes, really. Look. It doesn’t need to be realistic. It doesn’t even need to be something that makes sense. Just…write about something that makes you happy. Anything. Think of it like…a happy day dream. Try that.”

Steve quietly munched on his sandwich and while he mulled this over in his mind.

--

Two days later and he was still thinking about it.

Write something that made him happy.

Being able to reconnect with Bucky was the happiest part of his life, even if it was shadowed a bit by all the trauma Bucky was still working through and all the guilt that Steve felt over the whole situation.

If he had only been a little better he would have caught Bucky before he fell and none of this would have happened. If he had only gone looking for the Bucky, Hydra would have never gotten him. If only he had been around in the years after maybe he would have found the Winter Soldier sooner.

If only.

Sad words.

Steve sighed. He was so bad at this.

He tried again.

If he could have anything, do anything, what would that be?

Well. Being with Bucky helped. ‘Boyfriends’ seemed to tame a word for them and ‘lovers’ too exotic. Partners, maybe? Steve had been fantasizing about Bucky since they were teenagers. Those happy fantasies were one of the few things that got him through the first two years out of the ice.

Steve chewed his lip in thought. Write happy day dreams, huh. His happiest day dreams were always of Bucky.

He grabbed a pen and opened the notebook. Before he could think about it, he wrote down the first thing that came to mind.

 

Bucky gives great blow jobs.

 

Steve winced and chucked a bit. How bland it looked written then alone; how embarrassing, even. And then Steve realized it.

He was smiling. He even chuckled a bit.

Holy shit.

Sam was right.

Steve furtively glanced around his living room. For the first time in ages he felt a trickle of excitement. It felt like he was doing something illicit; something delightfully disallowed.

Not that he thought Bucky would mind at all. Steve learned long ago that if something involved sex, Bucky was generally happy to at least give it a try. When they became partners, that little habit had been a great barometer for how Bucky was feeling.

There were still many, many nights were Bucky couldn’t deal with sexual contact, preferring to cuddle or simply not touch at all. Steve was just so damn grateful Bucky was there in the first place, it didn’t matter much to him what they did.

But the fact of the matter was that Steve couldn’t imagine Bucky being upset at Steve writing smutty things about him.

Still. It felt weird to write about that kind of thing here in the living room. Out in the open. Where anyone could see.

He glanced around the room. No one was around; no one would be around for a couple of hours.

Steve tried another sentence.

 

Bucky has beautiful hair. It is fun to pull.

 

Steve grinned. This was so exciting!

He spent the rest of the evening happily scribbling down whatever random smutty thing he could think of.

--

Bucky came home from his target practice session with Clint and was greeted with the sight of Steve hunched over the notebook Sam got him, giggling like a maniac.

Bucky’s jaw dropped a little.

“Steve?” he called out.

Steve’s back immediately shot straight and he slammed the notebook closed.

“Bucky!” he squeaked.

Steve Rogers just squeaked. Bucky’s eyebrows hit his hairline. The last time he heard Steve squeak like that was when they were kids and Bucky had caught Steve looking at a Tijuana Bible.

“Everything alright?” Bucky asked.

“Fine! I’m fine! Everything is fine! I’m just gonna. Go. Into the bedroom. And write a bit. You know. In my notebook.” And with that Steve was gone like a shot down the hallway.

Bucky just stood there gaping.

“Huuuuuuuuuh,” was the only thing he could think of to say.

He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of lemonade from the fridge while he pondered this strange new turn of events. Steve came out shortly after that, a little flushed and still sort of smiling.

“Hey! How was shooting with Clint?” he asked.

“Good. It’s always fun to try and beat the birdbrain,” Bucky replied easily.

“Think you might be up for a little couch time? Jarvis has the next season of that British Baking show you like all queued up.”

Steve seemed…lighter, somehow. Like maybe the weight of the safety of the world wasn’t quite as heavy right then. Bucky felt a huge grin split his face and a warm buzzing in his chest. He wondered if this is what Steve felt like when Bucky first started to regain bits of his old self after moving in with him.

“Yeah, Stevie. I’d really like that.”

Bucky owed Sam something really nice after this.

--

Steve had the whole notebook filled in days. For the first time in ages he was excited about something. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the things he wanted to write.

He also couldn’t help but think he was being a complete pervert, but. Well. To hell with it. It made him happy.

For the first time since he woke up from the ice, something other than being near Bucky made him happy. So what if it was a little…unorthodox. He was going to get as much joy out of it as he could.

That afternoon he had Jarvis order him six more notebooks.

And colored pens.

And stickers.

Steve couldn’t wait.

Chapter Text

The new notebooks arrived the next morning. Steve was bizarrely excited. It was just a few notebooks, but he still got a fluttering feeling when he opened the shipping box. He lightly caressed the leather cover of the first one in the stack.

Sitting there looking at the supplies for his newfound hobby, Steve finally admitted to himself that he felt something like hope. Only the barest sliver of it, but it was there. It had been a long time since Steve had felt that there might be some happiness in the world for him.

He felt it was his job, his sworn duty, to help those in need and protect the innocent where ever he could. Not many people found their purpose in life and Steve was grateful that he always knew his. Though a driving need filled him to try and make the world a better place, he recognized that this didn’t necessarily make him happy.

If he was being honest, it had mostly brought him heartache.

Being with Bucky was like a balm. After all that they had both been through they managed to find each other again. Steve wanted to weep with gratitude that they had the opportunity to survive the storm of the future together. Even still, the happiness he shared with Bucky was tempered by all of the pain they both still carried. Steve loved Bucky with all of his being, but that had brought him just as much pain as it had anything else.

But this writing thing was different. For the first time in years he felt like he had something that was just for him. A little gem of joy that didn’t rely on anyone else, didn’t ask anything of him, and didn’t expect anything of him. Even if he was willing to give anything and everything to those around him, it was still exhausting. But with these silly little fantasies he didn’t have to be anyone or please anyone other than himself.

It was like he found a glimmer of the little guy that still lived inside the hulking frame of Captain America. He felt like a person again.

Steve didn’t know if that feeling would keep happening, but he wanted it to. He wanted it to so badly he could feel it sting his eyes and hurt his throat. He wanted something just for him again, even though he felt like a selfish asshole for even thinking it.

So he would do whatever he could to chase after that feeling. Even if it was stupid. Even if it was silly.

That morning he squirreled the notebooks away in the bedroom and then had himself a fine time decorating the first one with Winter Soldier metal arm stickers and red stars.

It was the most fun he’d had in ages.

--

Only three weeks later he was already on the last few pages of that notebook. He found himself writing little stories; bare frameworks of the daydreams he used to have when he was a teen pining after his best friend.

At first it started with just the sex scenes. He’d write about Bucky playing with himself or maybe with Steve. It was more challenging than he expected it to be.

Firstly, because he kept pausing just to thinking about whatever scene he had in mind. Imagining Bucky doing filthy things was very distracting.

Second, he was having trouble figuring out how to get those perfect images in his head onto a page. He would reread some of what he had written only to realize that he just needed to add more words to everything. He’d write the words ‘bucky’s dick’ and he knew what that looked like, but just the words ‘bucky’s dick’ didn’t get across the size of it, the gentle curve, or how heavy it felt in his mouth.

He also started writing explanations for how Bucky got himself into these sexy situations. Rereading it, Steve wasn’t sure it was really worthwhile material. Objectively the writing wasn’t good. Not even close to good. Despite that, he wanted to giggle every time he looked through his notebook; so he kept on writing more.

Steve ended up scribbling a lot out. The more he thought about it, the more creative he tried to get with what was going on. He felt like he needed to make it interesting for readers, although he was certain that he would be the only one reading it. Ever.

He looked back at one of his first attempts at a full story.

 

Bucky was a soldier. One day he met a random guy tiny magician named Steve. Bucky saved Steve from a falling treean angry doga PACK of angry dogs a pack of angry WARGS. The magician Steve cast a thank-you spell on Bucky that made his dick swell to huge proportions! Bucky then fucked magician Steve into a tree.

But…not literally into a tree.

Or maybe he did? Maybe Soldier Bucky had super strength! They fucked so hard the tree broke in half!

 

Steve snickered while he considered the implications of it. They were usually so careful with each other. Neither one of them wanted to hurt the other. But really, given how strong both he and Bucky were, they probably could break a tree by fucking leaning against it. He wondered what that might feel like; to be on the receiving end of that kind of force.

The idea of it made him kind of shivery. He spent the rest of the morning lost in that very pleasant thought.

--

Over the next couple of months Steve found himself looking at Bucky with a new appreciation. Sure, he’d always admired his friend, even spent hours when they were teens staring at him to sketch him. But now Steve was looking Bucky with an eye to describe in words what he used to map out in pencil and ink.

Bucky noticed the additional attention and took it with good grace, much to Steve’s relief.

“You sketching again, Stevie?” he asked one afternoon when he caught Steve watching him doze in a sunbeam on their living room floor.

Steve was startled out of his reverie.

“What? No…” He ducked his head and his cheeks burned. “I was just looking at how warm your hair looked in the sun there.” It sounded so stupid when he said it out loud.

But Bucky just let a slow smile spread across his face. “Yeah? Why don’t ya come on over here and you can see for yourself how warm it is.” He patted the carpet next to where he was laying.

Steve bit his lower lip and smiled a little. Then he had a fantastic idea and the smile grew. After spending most of every day picturing Bucky in various stages of debauchery, Steve was anxious to maybe try a few of those things out in real life.

But he was nervous. He didn’t think Bucky would laugh at him, but there was a fine line between sexy and ridiculous.

Still, it was worth a shot.

Steve slid off the couch and dropped to his knees on the floor. He ran one hand up his stomach under his shirt, watching Bucky through his eyelashes. Bucky was tracing the path of Steve’s hand; a good sign. He let his wrist drag up his shirt until his hand reached his collar and then he pulled the garment off over his head and tossed it behind him.

Bucky raised an eyebrow but still looked intrigued, so Steve continued. He ran his hands up and down his chest and abs, pausing briefly to cup his pecs before trailing down his thighs. Using every bit of grace and strength he could he prowled across the floor on his hands and knees toward Bucky.

By now both of Bucky’s eyebrows were raised but he was licking his lips, too, so Steve took that to mean he was interested in the show. Steve crawled right on top of Bucky and pushed Bucky’s shoulders to the floor. They lay there chest to chest for a moment; Steve cradled Bucky’s face in his forearms and nuzzled his temple.

“So warm.” He rubbed his face into Bucky’s neck and breathed in the faint scent of Bucky’s cedar and lime shampoo. It was a clean woodsy smell; light and delicate even for a super soldier’s nose. Steve rolled his body with the act of breathing; like the inhale required all that movement to take in enough air. Bucky shivered underneath him and exhaled hard.

“I love your hair, Buck. Can I run my fingers through it? Please?” Steve dared a glance upwards to gage Bucky’s reaction.

“Yeah.” Bucky swallowed hard. “Yeah, Stevie. Whatever you want.”

Steve smiled and reared up so he was seated on Bucky’s chest. He leaned over and ran both hands through Bucky’s hair.

It was just as soft as he thought it might be.

Not that he had never touched Bucky’s hair before. It happened sometimes. But there was a vast difference between casual accidental touches and this luxurious finger combing. It felt so good to rub his hands along Bucky’s scalp. Steve kneaded one hand along the curve of his skull and finished off the movement with a slow firm tug at the end; then he repeated this on the other side.

Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed

“Doll…” Bucky rasped out.

“Mmm?” Steve kept up the kneading. One side, then the other; eventually running up and down Bucky’s neck as well. He was a little embarrassed at how much this was turning him on but he figured he was in for a penny, in for a pound. Bucky settled his hands on Steve’s waist and dug his fingers in.

“Feels good,” he whispered.

Steve smiled. Success!

“I like it too. So soft. So warm. Relaxing, right? Just letting me run my fingers across you. Do you like that little tug?” Steve emphasized the question by holding onto Bucky’s hair right near the scalp and pulling his head a bit to the side. He did it slowly; he didn’t want to hurt Bucky but he did want his grip to be firm.

“Y-yeah, Stevie. I like it. Just like that.” Bucky licked his lips and looked up at Steve through heavy eyelids.

He stretched Bucky’s head back more and brushed his free hand over Bucky’s mouth.

“Would you like it if I held you? Held your hair just like this while I fucked your mouth?” Steve’s voice was hoarse and his throat felt dry as a desert. He didn’t usually talk dirty. Bucky sometimes did, but Steve was always a little bashful about it.

But today was a day for trying new things and so far Bucky seemed receptive.

Bucky’s eyes flew open in shock. The look he gave Steve was dark with want and a little bit more of Steve's nervousness melted away.

“Yes,” Bucky whispered and licked his lips. Steve smiled.

“Undo my pants, sweetheart. My hands are full.”

The button of Steve’s pants was ripped off in Bucky’s haste to get them open.

“Pull me out, darling,” he commanded.

Bucky swallowed and did as ordered. He wrapped his left hand around Steve’s dick and carefully stroked it. The little smirk that played across Bucky’s lips showed how much he knew Steve liked the feeling of it.

“Ah, ah, ah! Hands on my hips, sweetheart,” Steve said. He did love it when Bucky jerked him off, but he had better things in mind for today. Keeping one hand tightly wrapped in Bucky’s hair, he used the other to jack himself a bit, forcing a little drop of pre-come to drip from his head.

The fingers at his hips dug into his skin and Bucky’s eyes were glued to Steve’s cock. His mouth was open just a little bit; ready for whatever Steve wanted to do.

Steve’s heart swelled. God, he loved Bucky so much.

He shuffled forward a bit and guided the head of his cock towards Bucky’s mouth. Rather than just shoving it in, he took a minute to gently rub that beading pre-come all around Bucky’s lips; painting it on like lipstick.

The thought of Bucky wearing lipstick while doing this made Steve groan. He shoved that idea aside. Maybe another day.

“Pull yourself out, sweetheart. I want you to be touching yourself while I do this.”

Bucky tried to nod, but the hand in his hair wouldn’t let his head move. His eyes fluttered and rolled back a little and he whispered, “Yes, Stevie.” He took his right hand off of Steve’s hip.

“Use the other one,” Steve ordered.

Bucky switched hands and Steve could feel him shove his metal arm down the length of his body and fumble with his pants. While Bucky worked on getting his pants opened up, Steve used his hold on Bucky’s hair to rub his face all over Steve’s dick; smearing fluid across his cheeks.

Steve could feel Bucky’s left hand settle into a rhythm behind him.

“Good. I’m gonna fuck your face now. You give my hip a pinch if you need me to let up, okay?”

A strangled, “Yes, Stevie,” barely made it past Bucky’s lips before Steve thrust his hips forward, shoving his cock deep into Bucky’s mouth. He held Bucky’s head up, keeping it tight into his groin, while his other hand moved to the floor to keep his balance and give him leverage.

He held Bucky in place for a moment before allowing Bucky’s head to fall back a bit, giving him room to breathe. Seeing those beautiful lips stretched across his cock made Steve groan. He started fucking Bucky’s mouth in earnest, going deep for a few thrusts and then backing out.

“Just like that, Buck. You’re doing so good,” Steve whispered hoarsely. God, it felt amazing to be the one in charge of how fast and how deep he went. To guide the angle of Bucky’s head just the way he wanted it.

Strangled whimpers and moans escaped from Bucky’s stuffed mouth and vibrated up Steve’s cock, urging him to keep going. Bucky was using his tongue to good effect, rubbing the underside of Steve’s dick as it thrust in and out. He sucked hard on every in-thrust and hollowed out his cheeks.

He shoved his dick in particularly deep and just held it there. Bucky’s throat constricted as he tried to swallow and failed. Drool spilled all over his face and his eyes were mostly closed and unfocused. After a moment, Steve eased off and let Bucky gasp for breath. Then he did it again. And again.

The movements behind Steve took on a frantic quality.

Steve let his knees spread so he was seated further down in Bucky’s throat. He held Bucky’s head to the ground and forced his cock into Bucky’s mouth, trying to keep rhythm with the hand behind him.

“Come on, sweetheart. Come all over my back. Suck me down.”

A long deep groan signifying Bucky’s release was all it took to tip Steve over the edge too. He gentled his thrusting and rode out his orgasm, head thrown back in pleasure. After a few moments more, he leaned back to rest on his heels and loosened his grip on Bucky’s hair.

Bucky looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes fluttered and his face was red and sloppy with spit and come. His breaths came out in deep pants and his lips were swollen from all the rough treatment. Steve gently ran his hand through Bucky’s hair.

“Oh, Buck, you look so fucking sexy like that,” Steve whispered, and it was true. The look on Bucky’s face right then was enough to make his dick twitch with interest again. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and carefully started wiping up the mess.

Once he was done with the brief clean up, he scooted down so he could lay cuddled up next to Bucky; one hand still stroking his hair.

He started to worry a bit when Bucky just sat there and panted.

“…Buck? You okay? Was that alright?” he asked nervously.

“Fuck, Stevie. That was so fucking good.” Bucky’s voice sounded rough and low. He cast an eye over to Steve and gave him a little incredulous smile.

Steve felt a huge grin split his face and he gave Bucky a lingering kiss. “I love you.”

They made out for a little while, bathed in sunlight and gently held in each other’s arms. Eventually Bucky broke the kissing off.

“I think I’m starting to get sticky here,” Bucky said a little ruefully and gestured with his left hand.

“Can I give you a bath?” Steve asked with a hopeful smile. “I’ll make sure you get all cleaned up and feeling good. Least I can do.”

Bucky grinned. “Hell yeah.”

They sat up slowly and Steve looked at the disheveled state of their clothes and shook his head. Before he could stand up, though, Bucky stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

“What brought this on, Stevie?” he asked.

Steve blushed hard and studied his hands.

“I donno, Buck. I was just thinking about you and all the stuff we’ve never tried, never got a chance to try. It seemed like it could be fun, you know?”

Bucky looked at him thoughtfully and then a slow smile stretched across his face.

“You thinking about doing naughty things to me, punk?”

“…is that okay?” Steve looked at him from under his lashes, suddenly shy even after all they had just done.

Bucky bumped shoulders with him and kept on smiling.

“Yeah, Stevie. You keep on thinking that all you want. Come on, you owe me a bath.”

Steve felt so full of happiness and love he thought he might burst with it.

Chapter Text

For a while things went well. Steve continued writing in his notebooks every chance he got; sometimes it was just silly things. A little bit of a story here and there. Sometimes he wrote for days crafting the perfect scene.

In the end though, he couldn’t help but feel a little dissatisfied with the whole affair. He felt like he wasn’t getting what was in his head onto the page. Upon rereading, everything seemed inadequate. Dull.

He felt like a failure.

Little things started to build up; a burnt meal, a ripped page, things of that nature. Then Bucky had a bad week, one where touching became off limits for a while. Steve did well through it. He swore he would always be there for whatever Bucky needed and he intended to always make good on his promise.

But after Bucky was starting to feel a bit better, Steve started to feel a bit worse. Exhaustion plagued him.

“You sure you don’t mind that I’m heading out with Sam today?” Bucky asked one morning.

Steve shook his head and tried for a smile.

“Go. Get out of here. Have some fun. Say hi to Sam for me,” he replied.

“If you’re sure…” Bucky hesitated near the door. Steve could see that his shoes were already on and keys were in hand. It was obvious he was eager to be outside after a week of cringing at everything.

“Bring me back something nice.” Steve mustered the energy for a reasonable facsimile of a cheerful goodbye.

“Alright. Text me if you want me to pick up something specific while we’re out.”

And then Bucky was gone for the day and Steve was left staring at a wall.

He should probably get a notebook, but even the fun fantasies he’d been entertaining seemed cumbersome. It was just so frustrating.

Steve shifted in his seat and frowned.

He was thinking about this writing thing all wrong. Right now he was stuck on what he couldn’t do. What he should be looking at was how to get better.

People had called him a tactical genius before; someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘defeat’. He figured it was time to prove it.

Steve was going to write the hell out of this smut.

But first he had to get better at it. And maybe feel a little bit better too, since he was having a difficult time thinking about sexy romps when he was so frustrated about writing in general.

“Jarvis…just how secure are my privacy settings? Are they private just to me, or does Tony have some kind of administrator override?” This was important. As much as he wanted to proceed, he really felt like he couldn’t if he knew someone was aware of what he was doing. In a lot of ways, this was far more personal than his actual sex life with Bucky. These little fantasies were his dreams; things he didn’t dare share with anyone.

Steve couldn’t stand the thought of someone mocking his dreams.

“I am pleased to inform you that your current privacy settings on your rooms here do not allow anyone, even Sir, to access any files or information on what goes on here.”

“And does that include my browsing and shopping history when I’m on the internet here?”

“It does indeed, Captain Rogers.”

He considered this for a moment. What he really needed was someone to talk to. But he honestly didn’t trust his friends and teammates not to either make fun of him or read into it too much and come up with some kind of deep psychological problem that they would then have Opinions on.

Steve truly didn’t believe that the rest of the Avengers would ever knowingly hurt him. But he absolutely believed that they could and would be an enormous pain in the ass.

Except…

“Jarvis, could I talk to you about a private matter? Just between you and me?”

“Of course, Captain Rogers. How can I be of service?”

He blushed.

“Well. Uhm. What do you know about writing erotic fiction?”

There was a long pause.

“I’m afraid I’m not well versed in the art of erotica. My apologies, Captain Rogers.” He actually did sound apologetic.

Steve sighed. It was a long shot anyways. At least Jarvis wouldn’t poke fun at him for asking.

“Though, perhaps I could recommend some popular texts on the subject?” Jarvis asked.

Now that was a thought.

“Could you? I mean. Do you think it would help? I’m…” he blushed. “Well, I’m writing this stuff and it’s not really working out for me. I’d like to ask someone about getting better but…”

“You’re unsure of the reception you might get from your colleges.”

“Yeah.”

“Sales research on published works depicting romantic relationships is impressive to say the least. If you’ll look to your monitor on the wall, I’ve listed some of the most popular titles. It stands to reason that these might be a good source for the type of writing you’re looking for. Learning by example is a time honored method of improvement.”

Steve walked over to the wall mounted screen and started to browse through a large series of novel covers. Most featured bare-chested handsome men with long flowing hair. Some also featured beautiful women; they split about fifty – fifty between running away from something and laying dramatically across something.

Some of the art simply featured abstract images or close ups of random items like suit ties and masks.

Well. The art sure was interesting.

“And these are good?” he asked dubiously.

“If sales records are anything to go by, then yes. I have included novels that feature relationships of all different types of gender pairings, though I can limit the search to a specific type if you’d like.” The AI sounded confident. Steve was glad one of them was feeling confident about this whole thing.

“No, all types is fine, Jarvis. Thanks,” he responded absently.

Admittedly, Steve did really like the men in the pictures. They reminded him of Bucky a little bit; burly, sexy, and strong. He tried to imagine what Bucky might look like on the cover of one of these things.

“…So if I ordered some of these…” he trailed off.

“They could be added to your tablet. It would be accessible only to you. This also has the benefit of being easy to disguise from prying eyes. I would be happy to manufacture a screensaver for your tablet that featured technical writing of some kind, on the off chance that you were worried that someone might try to, ah, read over your shoulder.” Jarvis sounded amused.

“Really? That would be. That would be great! I mean, I sort of don’t care if people catch me reading romance novels. But---I don’t know. It would be easier if I could just keep this to myself.” Steve smiled a bit. “Or, I suppose now, between just us.”

“I am honored at your trust, Captain Rogers.”

“I suppose just download a couple hundred of the most popular for me. I’ll dig through them and see what I like. Um. I’d prefer if they had explicit scenes in them.” He flushed hotly. “For reference.”

He always was a fast reader, and the serum only enhanced his capabilities. Reading through a couple hundred pulp novels would pose no real hardship for him.

“Of course, Captain. It’s done and they are now accessible for your perusal.”

“Do you think you could toss in a couple of books about writing in general? It’d be nice to have a little more information on that front.”

“Certainly, Captain Rogers. I’ll add them to your tablet.”

Steve started to smile a little more. Things really hadn’t changed much, but now he felt like he had a partner in his efforts. Even that little bit of support was a welcome change.

“Hey, Jarvis…thank you. I really mean it.” He smiled up at the ceiling; something he found he did on default even though he knew that Jarvis didn’t just live in the ceiling alone.

“It is my pleasure, Captain,” Jarvis responded warmly.

“Call me Steve.”

“Of course, Steve.”

--

Bucky was feeling a little shaky that day, so he and Sam went out to a quiet hole in the wall Italian place that Bucky liked. Large portions, good food, nice family running the place; what’s not to like?

It reminded him a lot of some of their neighbors from when he and Steve were kids. Big welcoming families that always had a story to tell and a recipe to share. He liked the smell of the place.

The fact that it had a nice corner booth with no windows behind it was also a plus.

It was dead when they got there. Bucky had schemed their walk so that they would arrive long after the lunch rush had left.

He tucked into his salad appetizer.

“How’s Steve doing?” Sam asked.

It was a peace offering, of sorts. Sam knew that if Bucky wanted to talk about his own issues, he would. Talking about Steve gave them some common ground to get conversation moving.

Bucky also suspected that Sam was passing off advice to Bucky about his issues by mentioned things he thought Steve could do. Kind of a twisty way to give advice, but Bucky appreciated the effort. He didn’t really like people telling him what to do anymore.

“He’s better, actually,” Bucky replied. “He smiles a little more. Seems happier.”

A huge grin broke across Sam’s face. “Good. That’s really, really good. I mean. He seemed a little lighter to me, but you spend more time with him than I do.”

“As I should,” Bucky said with a smirk.

“As you should, with your creepy grandpa romance you got going on there,” Sam sassed back. “Is the notebook helping?”

“Notebooks you mean. He’s got half a dozen now. He’s writing all the time!” Bucky paused to refill his plate from the salad bowl. Salad normally didn’t really fill him up much; given how many calories he had to eat in general it almost wasn’t worth it. But the salad here had all kinds of things in it; olives, cheese, peppers, and fresh homemade dressing.

Delicious.

“Whatever you said to him, he really took to heart. He’s gotten a lot more, um...” Bucky thought back to feel of Steve’s hands in his hair and he felt a little warm under the collar. “I donno. It just seems he’s a little happier.”

Bucky could see the relief pouring off of Sam.

“That’s really good. I swear, between the two of you, I’m gonna go grey any day now,” Sam joked. Bucky found himself grinning a little in response.

“Yeah, well, you’re just boring, bird man. We’ve got to keep you on your toes.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“But you know…I really wish Steve would get back into art, too. He used to do it all the time. I’m pretty sure he’s writing in those notebooks, but I wonder if he’s drawing a bit too,” Bucky mused.

“If you’re really curious, maybe you should ask him?” Sam said.

“Nah. I don’t want to pressure the guy. If he wants me to know, he’ll tell me.” Bucky smiled again and reflected on the past month or so. It was like Steve was all lit up inside again. Maybe not as bright or as wild as he was when they were kids, but Bucky could see the change.

It made him so, so happy.

He really hoped it would keep up.

--

Steve managed to at least skim through most of those novels in a matter of weeks, even with writing a little bit every day. He found ones he liked, and highlighted the scenes he enjoyed. Jarvis was a gem and helped him search up new novels to try, based on best seller lists for the genre.

Slowly his writing evolved.

After a while, the AI also had other helpful suggestions too.

“Steve, if I may…” Jarvis asked one day while Steve was alone and quietly scribbling away.

Steve rubbed his eyes. He was briefly grateful that the serum wouldn’t allow him to get hand cramps.

“Hey, Jarvis. What do you need?”

“I noticed that you frequently write about Sergeant Barnes.” Steve blushed, but didn’t deny it. “It has occurred to me that perhaps you might enjoy looking at some online writing resources? Both he and you are the subject of a great deal of speculation in certain communities online. Some even write stories similar to what you are currently working on.”

Steve’s blush tripled. He knew what people thought about when they saw him; there had been rampant ‘speculation’ about him ever since he signed up with the USO tours. It was a facet of celebrity that always left him a little flustered.

In the end, he had decided to be flattered that people were impressed enough with him to speculate at all, and even more flattered that they would decide to draw or write about him.

But now that he really thought about it, weren’t these folks doing the same thing he was right now with Bucky?

“…That’s a pretty solid point, Jarvis. I think I would feel a little odd reading stories about myself, but do you think it would be worth it to look at some of the stuff about Bucky?”

“You might find the shorter story format more applicable to your current projects. These stories also employ several different types of writing style to good effect. Examining them could lead to further breakthroughs with your own works.”

Steve mulled it over for a minute. He had to admit, it was sort of difficult to try and make the leap from his small skeleton-like stories to the large novels that he had been reading. He ended up getting lost in the minutia of each scene in an effort to make the story ‘big’ enough for a drawn out tale.

Maybe he was just looking at this wrong.

Maybe he just needed a break.

Who knows, maybe he’d really like what other people wrote?

“Sure, Jarvis. I’m guessing you’ve got a few websites or stories in mind?”

“I do indeed.” Jarvis sounded a bit smug.

Several hours later found Steve still reading story after story on his tablet. At first it was really strange, especially when he showed up as a character in these stories. But he quickly started to handle it the same way he did the old Captain America comics in the 40’s. These ‘fanfictions’ were stories about the character Captain America. They weren’t really about him.

That little bit of distance between him and the Steve Rogers that people wrote about meant that he could appreciate the stories for what they were; fantasies.

Sometimes very explicit fantasies.

Very, very explicit fantasies.

About Bucky, him, and every combination of them and the other Avengers that people could think of. Some of it was incredibly hot.

And anatomically unlikely.

Steve was also pretty damn impressed with the creativity of the writers as well as their faith in his flexibility. The number of things they thought Bucky’s arm could do was...well, he wasn’t sure if it was inspiring or terrifying, but it certainly was interesting.

Tony must never read these, Steve thought. Bucky’s arm would never be safe.

The tagging system was ingenious. It allowed him to avoid the more serious stories. That wasn’t really what he was after there anyways and it allowed him to directly skip anything that had to do with the war.

He found himself alternating between light hearted romps and the ‘Plot what plot/porn without plot’ tag, which had the disturbing effect of leaving him both pleased and horny in equal measures. He also had a wealth of new ideas about how to structure his stories. All in all, it was time well spent.

Steve blinked and rubbed his eyes. It was dark out. Bucky must have already gone to bed; Steve only vaguely remembered him saying goodnight. He looked down the semi-erection he was sporting under his jeans.

That last story he had read was… very interesting. He had never thought about wearing lacy underwear before. He still wasn’t sure that he’d even want to, to be honest. But the idea of Bucky in pretty underclothes touched a button he hadn’t even considered before.

He turned off his tablet and peeked into Bucky’s room.

Empty. That meant that he was sleeping in Steve’s bed, which meant he would be okay with casual touching in the night.

Steve slipped into his bedroom and stripped off everything but his boxer briefs. Bucky stirred next to him on the bed and peeked blearily at him. Steve slipped under the covers and snuggled up to him.

“Hey there,” Steve whispered.

“Mrrmmmph…” Bucky grumbled and shoved his head under a pillow. Steve trailed his fingers lightly down Bucky’s side. “Mmmmph?” Bucky pulled his head back out from under the pillow.

Steve let a slow smile curl across his face. Bucky’s eyebrows went up and his eyes got a little darker.

“Mmmmph!”

They didn’t get to sleep for a very long time.

Chapter Text

Steve spent the next several weeks in a writing frenzy. While he was becoming more and more pleased with what he was writing, he was also becoming more and more annoyed with how long it took to writing everything longhand with a pen.

Going back over the note books trying to edit things a bit was a nightmare too.

When he posed the problem to Jarvis, the AI had an interesting solution.

Learn to type.

“Previous testing suggests that you would pick up the skill exceptionally quickly. I could automatically edit your work for grammar, punctuation, and spelling; adding or rearranging content would be exceptionally simple too.”

Steve pursed his lips.

“I suppose the worst that would happen is it would be slow and right now my writing is slow anyways.”

“Very true, Steve. The risks are few and the potential rewards, many.”

He weighed his options. Typing was a skill that could be applicable elsewhere too, he supposed. At the very least it might be fun to become proficient and then arrange for Tony to ‘catch’ him typing away one day.

It might be worth it for Tony’s reaction alone.

Steve nodded. “Alright. Let’s give it a try. How do I get started?”

“I’ll have additional equipment delivered to your floor within the hour. From there we’ll start with simple memorization of the keyboard and finger positioning. After that, there are simple games that you can play that will increase your speed and accuracy.”

Steve perked up at that. Making a game out of it would certainly be more interesting than practicing just for the sake of practicing.

“That sounds great! Could I try out one right now?”

“Of course.” Jarvis sounded as pleased as Steve felt.

--

Bucky came home from lunch to find Steve slowly typing on a keyboard, watching a large screen on the wall with a little digital Bucky on it deflecting flying letters with his metal arm.

Bucky just blinked at him.

“Should I ask what’s going on here or just pretend I didn’t see anything?”

Steve stayed focused on the screen, sticking out his tongue a little while he concentrated. It was unfairly adorable.

Bucky waited another moment and then said, “Steve?”

“Hmm? Oh, hey Bucky,” Steve answered absently. “Jarvis is helping me learn how to type. Dammit!” The little Bucky on the screen missed blocking a letter and it smacked him in the forehead only to tumble into the small pile of letters at the figure’s feet.

Bucky held back a grin. Jarvis certainly knew exactly how to motivate Steve.

“What happens if you miss too many letters?” Bucky asked, curious.

“The letters keep on piling up until the little Bucky is buried. He gets mad and flips me off and then unburies himself,” Steve said with a wry smile.

Bucky laughed. That certainly did sound like him.

“What happens if you don’t miss any letters?”

“I have no idea. I’ll let you know when it happens.”

“Ha! Well. Let me know when you’re ready to hit the gym.” Bucky shook his head and wandered toward his room.

“….uh huh…noo!”

Another letter piled up at the digital Bucky’s feet. Bucky took a stealthy picture on his cell phone of Steve’s look of dismay and sent it to Sam.

Sam sent back an emoji of a little face that was both laughing and crying.

A few days later, Bucky discovered a half empty box of cupcakes in the kitchen. Each one was decorated with little letters and a tiny metal hand giving a thumbs up.

Bucky laughed himself all the way to the lunch.

--

A few weeks later Steve was in the quinjet with the team on their way back from a mission.

Steve was tired, dirty, and bruised, but no one was seriously injured and the giant mutant snakes were contained safely. All in all, he was counting it as a good day.

But sitting there in the jet, he couldn’t help but feel despondent. He didn’t even know why. They did a good thing. They did their jobs and no one got hurt. Why did he feel like crap again?

For a moment his life stretched out, both ahead and behind him, in an endless stream of violence. It seemed like there was nothing he could do to change it, make it better.

Steve tried not to think that maybe this was all he was good for.

He shook his head. That kind of thing wasn’t true. He knew it wasn’t. But it was so hard not to think that sometimes.

Don’t dwell it. Focus on good things, he thought to himself.

After a moment of consideration, he pulled out his phone and sent a text to Jarvis requesting a copy of one of his more recent writing projects. Even if he couldn’t write while he was in the quinjet, maybe reading some of those happy dreams could cheer him up.

Just looking at the block of text on the screen gave him a little happy feeling in his chest. The typing thing was really starting to work for him. Steve wasn’t fast just yet, but it was at least on par with his by-hand writing. Having Jarvis do editing made things much, much easier.

It also made rereading his writing significantly more enjoyable. No more scribbled out words and arrows rearranging sentences after the fact.

Jarvis even put little digital stickers along the margins for him.

He propped himself up in a corner and opened up the document. For this one he had experimented with one of the styles he found in fanfiction. He wasn’t sure he liked it, but it was fun to try.

 

He was looking at you! He had to be!

You ducked your head behind the coffee machine. Embarrassment flooded your cheeks. Bucky was the most beautiful man you had ever seen; tall, dark hair, with firm glorious muscles. There was no way he would be interested in someone like you, you thought.

You were average, if on the small side. Your mom called you ‘petite’, but you knew that was just a kind word for ‘shrimpy’. You had short blond hair and blue eyes. You weren’t even one of the smart kids in class. Sure, you drew pictures once in awhile and did all the artwork for the school newspaper, but who even cared about that?

“Hey there, (y/n).”

You squeaked and jumped! Bucky was right there, talking to you with a voice like melted chocolate! You startled so much at his voice that you spilled the coffee you were making all over your shirt.

“Oh, nooo!” you cried.

Bucky chuckled and reached across the counter to lift up your chin so you were looking right at him. His face was so close! Close enough to almost kiss.

“Quite a mess you made there, (y/n). Gotta be more careful of those pretty artists hands, doll.”

He licked his lips and leaned in a bit more; so close you could feel his breath on your face...

 

“Steve! We’re here,” Natasha said from the lowered ramp of the quinjet.

Steve shook his head to clear it. Most of the others had already left for their respective quarters in the tower. He stowed his cell phone in one of the many pockets in his uniform’s pants and stood up.

“Movies in the common room in thirty. Be there.” Natasha leveled him with a look that brooked no argument.

Normally he would deserve that look. He was always torn between craving comfort and company after missions and desperately desiring to be alone. Sam called it ‘wallowing’.

But this time he found he wouldn’t mind meeting up with everyone for a movie. Reading that little bit of a story helped get him out of his head for a minute; it stalled out the never ending cycle of guilt, doubt, and recriminations.

He quirked a smile at Natasha and nodded.

“I’ll get Bucky, too. See you there.”

She looked momentarily surprised and then smiled.

“See you there, Rogers.”

It took no time at all to get to his floor, get showered, and collect a drowsy Bucky and head up to the common floor. Jarvis had already ordered takeout and a pretty impressive spread was laid out over a table.

Two hours later Steve was stuffed full of dumplings and fried rice. Bucky was laying down next to Steve with his head in Steve’s lap; the rest of the team and their support personnel were scattered around the room in various stages of sleepiness. They were halfway through watching some ridiculous space alien movie.

Steve wasn’t really paying much attention to it. He was still thinking about the story he read part of on the ride home.

It was undeniable. This was one of the better mission wrap ups he’d had in quite a long time. Reading that little fantasy had helped. Since he opened up the document, he hadn’t thought once about how hopeless and endless things seemed. It was like carrying a little portable Bucky-hug.

He mulled this over for quite a while.

Writing these stories made him feel better when he wrote them. It encouraged and rewarded him for seeking out pleasurable fantasies. This made sense to him; it’s the whole reason he started writing them. What he was surprised by was how much rereading those stories helped too.

They made him feel good. Yes, he knew what was going to happen already, but it didn’t matter because he knew everything would work out okay.

Good things would happen. Funny, clever jokes would be told. Sexy adventures were always available, no matter what was happening in the real world.

The more he thought about it, the more he was struck over and over again by how happy this whole thing made him feel.

He had the sudden ridiculous urge to share this with other people.

Not the team! Oh no, that wouldn’t end well for him at all! Definitely not Bucky. He didn’t even want to think about how embarrassing that conversation would be. But maybe those people online? Jarvis would probably be able to help him create some kind of anonymous profile for posting things.

Maybe they would be encouraging.

Maybe they might need a little bit of happiness too.

The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea.

Maybe there was a way he could share his dreams so other people could dream too.

--

The next day he decided to post his first fanfiction story.

It was actually sort of difficult to choose which one to put up. Going through his files he was sort of shocked by just how much he actually had written.

Thousands and thousands of words, and that was just what he had on file in his computer. That didn’t even come close to how much he had written in notebooks over the last several months.

That gave him an idea.

“Jarvis…how difficult would it be to get one of my longer stories published as a novel? You know, like some of the ones you first referred to me?”

“It wouldn’t be difficult at all, actually. I would be happy to take care of the details of that for you. Although,” Jarvis added hesitantly, “you might find the most success with some of the more traditional writing formats.”

Steve pursed his lips and mulled that over. The second-person writing style was fun, but Jarvis was right. Steve had never seen a book written that way. He’d have to do first- or third-person.

That would allow for variation in partners though.

Steve loved writing about Bucky doing things with him but reading fanfiction had brought up a fantastic point; it might be fun to write about Bucky with other people too.

He sat and thought about that for a moment.

Would he feel bad writing about his friends that way?

But, then again, people already wrote about his friends that way. What was one more author among many? And it wasn’t like any of this stuff would actually happen. He had no expectations, or interest really, about transferring his story events into the real world. And if he changed the names, who would even know?

Okay, so the metal arm was fairly recognizable, but Steve could work around that. Or at least find other ways to make the left arm special.

Steve was willing to admit to himself, if no one else, that he had a bit of a thing for that metal arm.

Besides, if he published a story listing the Avengers, Tony’s lawyers would probably get wind of it eventually. That was something Steve was eager to avoid. Might as well change some of the details and make something new while he was at it.

That actually made the whole idea seem a little better too. He could choose to add in or leave out whatever he wanted to.

He started to smile. This could be a lot of fun!

“I think that’ll be just fine Jarvis. Though, if you’re willing I could use help setting up an outline?”

“I would be delighted to help out,” Jarvis responded warmly. “Do you have an idea for the plot of your first novel?”

Steve thought it over. His mind drifted back to that awful space movie they watched last night. A slow smile spread across his face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.”

--

Three months later, The Revengers by Grant R Stevenson was self published on Amazon. The main character, Captain Winter, finds love and adventure when he captures his rivals, Captain Peregrine and Captain Carter. The unlikely threesome must join forces to save Earth from the spread of a deadly alien menace! The galaxy will never be the same!

 

To be honest, Steve wasn’t really expecting much of a response about it. But just in case, he asked Jarvis to allocate fifty percent of the profits towards youth writing programs and the other fifty percent towards urban gardening initiatives.

He always did like plants.

 

The Revengers

Chapter Text

It had been just under a year and a half since Sam and Bucky had conspired to get Steve into creative writing and now Steve was inseparable from his various writing platforms; be it notebook or laptop. He’d even picked up his art again. One of the spare rooms on their floor of the tower had been transformed into a workroom for Steve.

In all the time that had passed, Bucky saw Steve transform.

Steve still had some problems, sure. Bucky did too. There were the occasional bad nights and down days. But there was a new energy to Steve now; a delight in every day that thrilled Bucky to no end.

And every waking hour, Steve was typing away.

Bucky respected Steve’s boundaries. He did. He just…wondered, was all.

When Bucky was writing down every memory he could scrape together, Steve had honored his privacy and never breathed a word about asking what was in them.

But, then again, when Bucky had been filling up notebooks with memories, he wasn’t anywhere near as happy as Steve was when he was writing.

What could he possibly be jotting down that made him smile so much?

Over the months he had asked a couple times what Steve was writing. He never got a straight answer. Steve would just blush and stammer a bit and mumble something about it not being important.

Above all, Bucky wanted to respect Steve’s privacy so he resisted the urge to go digging.

One day, though, Bucky found Steve slumped over his work room desk sound asleep. They had both just gotten back from an exhausting week long mission the day previous, so Bucky wasn’t terribly surprised that Steve had just passed out on his desk. A single night of sleep wasn’t enough keep either of them from being worn out.

What he was surprised by was how many notebooks Steve had opened on his desk and how most of them were decorated with Winter Soldier stickers and little doodles of Bucky.

Surprise, amusement, and then curiosity all rolled through him.

“Steve, come on doll. Dinner time. Steve?”

He gently nudged Steve’s shoulder. No response.

While he was standing there, he got another look at the notebooks. It looked like each one was dedicated to a different thing. They had strange titles and bullet points with names and facts listed under them.

The Revengers.

Knight of Passion.

Warlord’s Treasure.

The newest looking notebook had the title Thunder and Ice and looked only a quarter full at best.

Not wanting to give away what he’d seen, Bucky just left everything as it was and walked back into the kitchen area to think. The definitely seemed like titles. Maybe some movies that Steve was trying to catch up on?

Bucky could pretty easily see Steve stressing out about catching up on his List of Missed Pop Culture, but was he concerned enough about it to start taking notes on movies? It seemed a little extreme.

He opened his phone and did a quick word search on those phrases. What he got was hits on Amazon for a series of novels.

Huh, Bucky thought. He scrolled through the list. They were all the names of romance novels.

All written by Grant R Stevenson.

Bucky’s jaw dropped.

No fucking way! And also, really, Stevie? Grant R Stevenson?

Bucky winced and rubbed his hand over his face. He privately congratulated himself on never allowing Steve to go on infiltration ops.

Romance novels, though. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

And then he noticed the covers of the novels. They all featured a well muscled brunette with shoulder length hair.

Well, never let it be said that Steve doesn’t have a type, Bucky thought with amusement.

And then he started reading the summaries.

 

The Revengers

Winter is the dashing captain of the dreadnought class starship, the Red Star. Bereft of his one true love, he travels the galaxy plundering any starship that dares to cross his path. One day he stumbles across his rival, the famed Captain Carter, in a vicious plasma cannon battle with an Imperial Earth military ship. Taking advantage of the situation, Captain Winter finishes off both of the crippled ships and captures Carter as well as the Imperial ship’s captain, Peregrine.

Now the three of them are thrust together on a path of adventure, self-discovery, and lust as they are forced to work together or face Dire Consequences. And should they fail at their Fate appointed task, all of Imperial Earth will fall with them! Through all of their hardships, Captain Winter is struck by how much Carter looks just like the lost love of his life, a frail young man who died years earlier. What does this mean for Winter’s past…and his future?

 

Bucky just sat there with his jaw dropped. He didn’t even know where to go with this information.

No way. It wasn’t possible.

Captain Winter? Captain Peregrine? The famed Captain Carter? Steve could not possibly be writing cheesy romance novels about himself, Bucky, and Sam. Absolutely not.

First of all, Sam? Sam rated a spot in the book along with Bucky and Steve?

Bucky quickly reviewed the summary.

“…self-discovery, and lust…”

Holy shit. Was Steve writing smut about the three of them?

Bucky couldn’t smash the “One Click Buy” button fast enough. He also bought all the other books, sight unseen. And pre-ordered the next one scheduled to come out; Thunder and Ice, Bucky noted with a total lack of surprise.

He cast a furtive glance around. Steve was still asleep. Their floor was quiet.

The first book downloaded onto his phone and he opened up the first page…

 

Captain Winter stared at the star map projected up in the ship’s bridge, a scowl permanently etched into his handsome face. The crew knew keep their distance; terrified of their captain’s ferocious demeanor…

 

Bucky snorted. Thanks, Stevie.

That intro set the tone. Steve’s writing was very…stylized. Flamboyant, even. It wasn’t quite purple prose, but it was very dramatic.

Just like Steve, Bucky concluded once he thought about it.

All of the ridiculously bad science made Bucky go a little cross eyed. The guy was literally a science experiment. How could he possibly be so bad at understanding basic scientific principles? The fact that it was bad enough that Bucky was able to catch it really said something about those scientific ‘facts’.

Like, how the hell did they get a spaceship made of glass? Wouldn’t it just…implode? Explode? Something? Bucky was pretty sure the lack of air in space meant that the crafts would need to be able to keep up the pressure in the ship. And what about the heat that happened on exit of the atmosphere? Did they just build the ship in space?

And what really was the point of having the ships draw up side by side so they could fire pirate-ship style cannons at each other? Wouldn’t they have better weapons if they were smart enough to get into space?

Hell, Stark had better weapons on his Iron Man suit.

And then there was all the sex.

So. Much. Sex.

Objectively, it was…alright. Some of the phrasing was a little silly and the euphemisms were sort of hilarious. It wasn’t what Bucky would call top quality writing.

Subjectively, knowing that Steve was thinking of Bucky while he was writing all of this was almost unbearably hot. And, sweet Jesus, the things they did to each other!

And to Sam. That little factoid kept tripping Bucky right out. He had never once thought of Sam like that. Sure, the guy was attractive. But he also called Bucky ‘murderkitten’ and made fun of his socks.

So what if he liked colorful socks. He was fucking allowed to like colorful socks

He was never going to be able to look at Sam in the face again. Holy shit.

How did Steve manage to look any of them in the face?

Despite how tired he was, Bucky managed to get a few hours of reading in before he, too, had to fall over for sleep. By the time he was ready to give up the ghost and go collapse, Steve had found his way to his bed and fallen face first into it. Bucky crawled in next to him and snuggled into a ball at Steve’s side.

But as he lay in bed he couldn’t stop thinking about some of the sex scenes.

Steve was still out like a light. He hadn’t even twitched when Bucky curled up next to him. Plus, it felt a little bit odd to feel him up after getting turned on reading a romance novel.

Even if it was a romance novel about Bucky and Steve fucking like rabbits. With Sam sometimes thrown in.

Bucky felt pretty conflicted about all of it.

Conflicted and horny.

A half hour had passed before Bucky admitted to himself that sleep wasn’t going to happen as long as he was thinking about having a threesome with Steve and Sam.

He wanted to go jerk off for an hour or two; see how many times he could get himself to come. Maybe do it while taking a long shower. Easy to cover up any noise, and a good reason to not be in bed if Steve woke up.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized what he really wanted to do was read through that book and jerk off while he was reading those sex scenes.

He opted for a bubble bath. Not his usual thing, but it would work.

It only took a few minutes to get the water going and fetch his supplies. He grabbed his phone and opened up the The Revengers to the first scene he wanted to reread.

 

…Winter hit the ground, crushed into the verdant undergrowth by both Peregrine and Carter.

“What the hell? Get off of me! What’s wrong with you two?” he demanded.

Carter and Peregrine just smiled, glassy eyed and predatory. Winter noticed that their faces were smudged with something yellow. Pollen from the alien vines that surrounded them maybe?

“Just relax, Winter,” Peregrine crooned at him; all the while slipping Winter’s many gun belts open. Winter began to struggle anew against Carter’s massive biceps. The strength of that man’s arms alone seemed enough to bend steel, Winter was sure.

Just as it seemed he might break free, he noticed that Carter’s arms were no longer pinning him down. The vines themselves had wrapped around his wrists, pulling them tight above his head!

Carter shimmied down Winter’s side to aid their fellow captain in disrobing Winter. Soon enough his manly girth was laid bare to the chill alien air. Both Peregrine and Carter moaned…

 

Bucky took a huge breath to steady himself. He was already hard and leaking. The whole afternoon seemed like one long tease and now that he was here getting himself and the tub ready for some serious jerking off it was hard to contain himself.

He slipped of his clothes and settled into the water, briefly thankful that his Stark Phone was waterproof. After some brief deliberation, he decided to keep the phone in his left hand; easier to control if he started to get a bit shaky. With his right he gripped the base of his dick and rubbed his thumb up and down the shaft, and started to read again…

 

… “It had to be the pollen,” Winter thought to himself with what little brain power he had left. His legs had been pulled open to their widest extent, wrapped securely in supple green vines. Every scrap of clothing he was wearing had been stripped off of him; cut off, in some places.

Peregrine and Carter both knelt between his legs; they alternated between licking up and down his leaking rod and sloppily kissing each other. Their nimble tongues curled around his manhood, tracing every vein and lavishing every inch of skin with saliva. As they rubbed their flushed faces against his tender meat, the bright yellow pollen smeared off of their cheeks onto his engorged member. Everywhere it touched left his nerves alight with want and ecstasy…

 

Bucky eased his hand up his dick, rubbed around the crown, and then pressing into the slit. He hissed at the sensation. The feeling was just a touch too much and sent a pleasure so intense it was almost pain shooting up his spine. The pre-come leaking out of him was thick in the water and he smeared it up and down his cock.

Rather than focusing on the text, which was a little silly and mildly distracting, Bucky focused on the image of both Steve and Sam blowing him. He thought about how it might feel to have both of them fighting for the chance to deepthroat him.

Maybe both of them would latch on to the end of his cock and suck; a mouth on either side of the head and his pre-come dribbling out between them.

A deep moan threatened to escape, but he locked it down. Just because Steve was asleep now didn’t mean he wouldn’t wake up. He sped up his hand. After reading smut for hours on end, he knew that this first round wouldn’t last long.

Already he had that delicious heavy feeling building up in his gut and his groin. He started to jerk faster.

The hot water felt amazing. Bucky tried to pretend that all the muscle aches from the previous week’s mission were actually from a session of mind blowing rough sex. Maybe Steve and Sam would finger him together too. Maybe Steve would slide one finger in him and rub his prostate while Sam shoved two fingers; pumping in and out along side Steve’s hand. Their hands would stretch him out while they licked all over his dick and balls.

He bit back another groan and stroked himself harder.

Then he remembered that Captain Winter had been tied down, legs splayed open. Imagining himself forced open while being sucked and fingered was enough to make Bucky come right there.

He dropped his jaw in a silent scream of pleasure as he milked himself through his first orgasm. He stroked himself right up until pleasure became pain and then he stopped, just holding his dick firmly.

The cut-rate serum he got was enough to make sure that he had at least a couple rounds in him. After the week he just had, Bucky intended to find out just how many times he could go.

A tiny smirk of satisfaction crossed his face and he quickly ran his tongue over his lips.

One down.

He flipped to a new scene in the book’s text. There were just so many absolutely filthy things in here. The idea of Steve, his Stevie, sitting down to write this stuff made Bucky’s dick twitch with interest.

Slowly he started stroking his cock again, this time fondling his balls a little too.

 

…Winter shoved the data tablets off of his desk and slammed Carter down in their place, face first. The man’s glorious sun-golden hair glinted in the dim lighting. Winter fondled his sweet peach-like ass and spread open those glorious orbs to see the sloppy hole nestled there. Love juice leaked from his gaping passage; still so wet and loose after both Peregrine and Winter had released inside of him just moments earlier.

“Winter…please! I need it again! Fill me up again,” Captain Carter moaned.

Winter grinned. “Acknowledged, Captain. Prepare to be boarded.”

He slammed his love stick home deep into Carter’s firm rear…

 

Bucky had to bite his lip to keep quiet. It was difficult not to giggle after reading, “Prepare to be boarded.

What the hell, Steve?

He pulled his brain back on track.

Fucking Steve in general was a fond thought for him, but doing it several times in a row and after Steve had taken it in the ass from Sam already…that was something else. He gleefully envisioned how wrecked Steve’s ass would look with several loads of come leaking out of it. Maybe a few red handprints decorating that beautiful flesh.

His dick was still a little sensitive, but it only served to drive Bucky crazier. He started to get rough with the stroking again and pictured Steve moaning beneath him. Bubbles tickled his nose as he sank a little farther into the bath.

 

Winter pumped furiously into Carter; both moaning like wonton restless ghosts. He stuttered to a stop, though, when he felt Peregrine’s hand on his ass.

“I think I’m gonna have to search your cargo bay, Captain,” Peregrine whispered into Winter’s ear. And then he shoved a well lubed up finger into Winter’s puckered man-hole.

 

Bucky dropped his head back to bang onto the rim of the tub.

Jesus fucking Christ, Steve! Who talks like that during sex?

He closed his eyes and got back to work on his dick. It helped to think of how good Steve would feel writhing under him. And to have someone fingering him while that happened…

A shudder ran through him. Bucky briefly wished he had thought things through a little longer and had gotten a plug to shove up his ass while he was getting off. He curled his hand around his dick and corkscrewed it sideways while rubbing the shaft up and down, giving himself a different direction of friction.

 

Just as quickly as Peregrine’s fingers entered him, they withdrew. Winter cried out in despair! He wanted the pressure back. He wanted to be filled!

And then he was; the full length of Peregrine’s powerful rod shoved into him in one decisive thrust. Winter rocked into Captain Carter’s ass, flung forward by the strength of Peregrine’s jack-hammering hips.

The three of them rocked together; a chain reaction of pleasure and sweat…

 

Bucky could picture that; being slammed in the center of two burly men. Steve moaning underneath him, being fucked deeper every time Bucky was fucked.

Another orgasm built up inside him and Bucky tried desperately not to make the water splash with how quickly he was moving his hand. He had to keep quiet. Waking Steve would be bad.

But it felt so damn good and he was so close! He thought about what it might feel like to be giving and receiving at the same time.

And then he remembered that this is something Steve was thinking about. Maybe all the time, given how much of this stuff he had written. Steve wanted to see him be both fucked and fucking; ripped apart with pleasure.

That was all it took to set Bucky off a second time. He rode out the second orgasm, but this time he didn’t stop stroking himself after it was through.

“Yes, yes, please, one more baby please,” he whispered to himself; caught up in the fantasy in his head. He rubbed through the overstimulation until a third orgasm chased up hard on the heels of the second.

In only a few short minutes he was coming again and he tossed his head back and forth from the sheer bliss of it. A tingly fizzy feeling filled him up and that third release hurt so good.

After he finished coming it was all he could do just to stay upright. His dick pulsed with his heart beat; tender and good at the same time.

It took several minutes, but eventually Bucky relaxed into the side of the bathtub. He eased off the grip he had on his dick, slowly allowing the warm water to swirl around his sensitive skin.

About that time he realized that he had gripped his phone so tightly in his metal hand that he’d cracked the screen.

Well. Shit.

It was hardly the first time it had happened, but it was still sort of a pain in the ass. Bucky rolled his shoulders in an attempt to work out some of the tension.

He took another deep breath and lay there staring up at the ceiling.

That was…pretty hot, if he had to pin it down. But he still couldn’t quite get over some of the terrible phrasing.

Prepare to be boarded?

Really?

Bucky set the phone down on the floor and pulled the plug in the bottom of the tub. As much as he wanted to keep going, the week finally caught up to him. He was suddenly exhausted.

It took only a moment for him to towel off and fall right back into bed.

The last thing he thought of before he passed out was that somehow he was going to have to let Steve know that he knew about the books.

How the fuck he was going to do that, he didn’t even know.

Chapter Text

Over the next week, Bucky read all three of Steve’s published works. In addition to those he also found a whole slew of short stories online.

The short stories were even more blatantly about Bucky; they didn’t even bother with easily recognizable fake names. They were published on Avengers fan sites, along with a lot of other stories that people had written about the team; content ranging from mildly plausible to outlandishly ridiculous.

Bucky learned a lot that week.

Steve’s actual novels do get a little bit better as they progress.

A little bit.

Sentence structure wise, anyways. Each one is still filled to the brim with though bad euphemisms to make Bucky cry. Whether that crying was from laughter or from incredulous despair, he really wasn’t sure.

The Revengers was the only science-fiction based novel. Bucky was briefly grateful about this, because the terrible science in that book was enough to make him cross eyed. But then he discovered that the other two were historical romances.

...Well, they were billed as historical romances but Bucky would sort of like to shoot whoever decided that descriptor applied to these books. They had only the barest of casual relationships with actual historical facts.

Steve was an actual part of history. He was a century old. How the fuck could he be so bad at writing about history?

Granted, it wasn’t like either of the other novels were about World War Two or the Great Depression; either of which both Bucky and Steve would have a wealth of information on. So maybe it wasn’t that surprising.

And the more Bucky thought about it, perhaps that was the point of the writing. None of this stuff had anything to do with anything Steve had gone through. The violence in the books was action packed and (relatively) realistic; but it was minimal. There was just enough that it added a bit of flavor to what was obviously the main goal of each book; the sex.

The sex.

Bucky sort of didn’t know what to do about all the sex.

It was hot, sure. But it was also so goddamn terrible. What the ever loving fuck was Steve thinking?

Engorged member? Flesh dagger? Meat club?

What the hell? How did this happen?

But…it was hot. Bucky wondered if it was only hot because he knew that it was him that Steve was writing about.

It was, quite frankly, a little eye opening. Not that Steve writing about him; that was a little unexpected but not too terribly shocking. No, what was surprising was the sheer variety of sex that Steve had written about.

Threesomes, twosomes, group sex of all kinds. People watching, people listening, on purpose and on accident. Toys. All kinds of toys. Things that vibrate. Things that suck. Surprise sex. Sleep sex. Sweet gentle sex and forceful rough sex.

And that was just the human things.

There were also vines, tentacles, were-creatures, ghosts, strange glowing clouds of sex-inducing mist, forest spirits, and who the hell knows what else.

It wasn’t so much that Bucky didn’t think these things existed. He knew they did. It was more that Steve was thinking about them, and thinking about them happening to Bucky.

Bucky’s fictional sex life was more varied and fulfilling than any five porn stars.

It was actually impressive.

Bucky spent that whole week he was reading and the week following that avoiding looking at anyone in the tower. At all. Because every time he did, he’d think of some scene that they were featured in.

And, as bizarre as it sounded, the books were actually pretty entertaining; and not just in a haha-this-is-so-bad kind of way. The characters were multidimensional and interesting; no shock there since they were all based on people Steve knew. The chapters left off on suspenseful moments, making Bucky want to keep reading despite how bad some of the dialogue was.

After a little thought, he went to Jarvis. He waited for a day while Steve was out to lunch to have a private chat with the AI.

“So. Jarvis.”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“I, uh, found out about Steve’s hobby. And as best I can figure, the only way he could have done this was with your help.”

There was a long pause.

“I’m afraid I can’t discuss what Steve does in his private work time.” Jarvis didn’t quite sound apologetic. More neutral, in fact.

That was just fine by Bucky. He knew what kind of shit Steve would probably get if the rest of the team found out about this stuff. After how happy Steve had become after picking up his hobby, the very last thing Bucky wanted to do was fuck that up for him. He was glad that Jarvis was willing to help protect Steve from potential ridicule.

“That’s fine, Jarvis. I was just wondering…if I gave you some book titles, could you look up their sales? I…kinda just want to see how well their doing.”

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes,” Jarvis responded warmly.

It turned out that Steve’s first book didn’t do too terribly, and every one after that did a little bit better. They still weren’t Top 100 Best Seller material, but they seemed to have a pretty solid following.

Bucky actually glowed a little with pride.

Steve had found something outside of the shield he wore and he was successful at it. It made Bucky tear up a little. And want to maybe hunt him down and give him a huge hug.

That feeling, more than anything, helped him decide on how to approach this with Steve.

Yeah, having smut written about him was a little weird. Having it published so thousands of random strangers could read it was weirder still and made Bucky blush a little to think about it. But Steve was happy.

For the first time since they were teenagers, Steve was creating something and it was clear it left him fulfilled in a way that nothing else was doing.

That was worth going through nearly anything, in Bucky’s opinion.

He thanked Jarvis and wandered off to review Steve’s books and begin to implement his plan. He kind of hoped it wouldn’t blow up in his face.

--

So far Steve was having a pretty good day. Both he and Bucky had an uneventful night’s sleep and their morning sparring session was a lot of fun.

Bucky had acted a little strange, though. Some of the things he said while they were sparring were…odd. Steve mulled it over while he was cracking eggs for breakfast.

There were an awful lot of weird comments about cargo and meat and thighs of betrayal. He briefly wondered if Bucky had spent a night surfing internet memes with Clint again.

It would make sense. Bucky had been kind of withdrawn for the past week. At first Steve thought it might be because of their last mission; but the mission went well. There didn’t seem to be anything triggering that went on and nothing that overtly referenced Bucky’s time as the Asset.

Maybe Steve was just reading into it too much. Everyone needed a little quiet time now and again.

He poured the egg mix into a large pan and poked at it a bit. The sheer amount of protein both of them consumed was unreal. A huge plate of eggs in the morning went a long way towards both of them having a decent day.

“Hey there, beautiful. I’m really looking forward to putting that in my mouth,” Bucky said softly in Steve’s ear.

Steve jumped in place. He hadn’t even heard Bucky sneak up behind him.

Also…what the hell?

“Bucky?” Steve asked. He wasn’t sure what he was asking, but he was sure that Bucky would know.

“Yes, Stevie?” Bucky’s eyes were wide and innocent.

Something was definitely up.

And that phrase sounded really familiar. Steve couldn’t quite place it.

“…Nothing,” Steve responded, and went back to making breakfast.

Bucky remained behind Steve, casually resting his hands on Steve’s hips.

“Your rear end is the most delightful of treasures; firm as a plum and dripping with sweet honeyed nectar,” Bucky whispered seductively.

Steve froze. He knew that line. He wrote that line in Warlord’s Treasure.

Flickers of panic sizzled up his spine.

Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe Bucky just heard the line somewhere and thought it was funny. He bit his lip.

“It’s not dripping with anything just yet,” he replied. It was the next line in the scene. Prince Anton, the Lord of Steel had just propositioned his newly bought slave, Puck, and Puck was very on board with that propositioning.

The fingers on Steve’s hips tightened and Bucky purred into Steve’s ear, “How about we change that? Because, oh, the font of sweet syrup I would bathe you in…”

It was the next line in the scene. Bucky had read the book.

Bucky had read the book.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Steve’s stomach dropped like a rock. He turned off the burner and fled Bucky’s grasp. He couldn’t even look at him. He escaped to the corner of the room and put his back to the wall.

He didn’t know what to do. If Bucky read the book, then Bucky sure as hell knew Steve wrote it. It would be obvious. There were too many clues; too many ways the characters were similar to the real people.

Oh god. If Bucky read that one, then he probably had looked at the rest too.

Steve’s lungs burned. Everything was ruined. Bucky was going to be mad. He was going to make fun of him and be mad. Maybe he wouldn’t have at first, but Steve had published books, whole books, about Bucky fucking nearly everyone they knew.

And then Bucky was right there in front of him, nearly pinning him to the wall.

“Doll. Steve, sweetie, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Bucky crowded into his space and lifted his chin with one hand.

Tears blurred Steve’s eyes and ran hot down his cheeks. Bucky brushed them away with his thumb.

“Sweetheart, it’s alright. I don’t mind,” he said softly.

Words burned in Steve’s throat; he felt like he had tried to swallow a chestnut hull. “You found my books,” he croaked out.

“Yeah, I did.” Bucky smiled softly at him. Steve couldn’t see any trace of the anger or derision that he expected in Bucky’s face. Only kindness and love.

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but words utterly failed him.

“I liked them,” Bucky said.

Time stopped for a moment.

“What?” Steve couldn’t believe what he’d heard.

“I said, I liked them.” Bucky smiled a little wider. “I told you a long time ago that I didn’t mind if you were thinking naughty things about me. Well. I guess this is just a little extension of that, right?”

Steve just gaped at him.

“And, well, so what if you wrote some books about it? It’s flattering, how much you think about me.” Bucky leaned into Steve’s chest and ground their hips together. “More than flattering, actually,” he growled.

Steve could feel Bucky’s cock already half hard against his own. Some of the tension melted off of him when his own hips twitched in response.

But the anxiety was too strong to be diverted entirely.

“You…you really don’t mind?” he whispered.

Bucky kissed him gently, slowly, and then pulled back to look him straight in the eye. “Steve. This makes you happy. And I fully support anything that makes you happy.” He grinned. “And, holy shit, Stevie, some of the things you wrote about were hot as fuck.”

Steve blushed and ducked his head. He wrapped Bucky up in his arms; so very relieved that he hadn’t screwed anything up for them.

“Yeah? You think it’s hot?”

Bucky groaned. “Fuck, doll. Where do you think I’ve been for the last week? I couldn’t stop jerking off to all the things you wrote about me. Now I’m not saying I want to run out and have a three-some with Sam or Tony, but it was hot as fuck to read about it.” He rolled his hips into Steve again. “Hot as fuck to think about it. To think about you picturing me doing all those things,” he purred.

And, yeah, Steve was starting to get on board with that pretty damn quickly. He’d been enjoying his fantasies about Bucky for months now, but knowing that Bucky was touching himself while reading them? That mental image made him want to forget about doing anything other than fucking Bucky into the floor.

Steve moaned and shoved his hands down the back of Bucky’s pants, cupped his ass and squeezed. But before he could get any farther, Bucky pulled back a little.

“There’s a couple things you need to do for me though.”

Steve gulped. Bucky looked serious as hell.

“Anything Bucky. You know I’d do anything for you,” he replied earnestly. And it was true; Steve would break the world if it meant keeping Bucky happy. He would do anything, and gladly, even if it meant changing up his favorite hobby.

“You have to let me fact check your history. And your science,” he said solemnly.

Rough giggles bubbled up and Steve didn’t even bother trying to stop them. “You jerk.”

“I am totally serious here, punk! This is mission critical! And while we’re at it, we need to talk a little bit about all the colorful metaphors…”

Steve just laid his head on Bucky’s shoulder and laughed and laughed.

“I’m not joking! It’s distracting!”

Everything would be alright. They were both going to be alright.

Chapter Text

It only took another two months for Steve and Bucky to finish up Thunder and Ice and get it published. Steve tried to offer to put Bucky’s name on it too, or a pen name at least.

Bucky refused.

“Fuck no, Stevie. This is all on you, doll.” Then he smiled softly and said, “You deserve all the credit. I’m just happy you let me help.”

It was undeniable; Bucky actually was a huge help. Steve had no idea how he knew so much about history. When he finally asked him about it, it turned out that while Steve was busy writing the sex scenes for the book Bucky had been busy reading up on the history of the regions that they were writing about.

At first he just went through Steve’s documents and made comments correcting little things here and there. After a couple weeks of that, he just wrote up crib sheets with relevant historical facts and events.

There was even a page of ‘Bucky Approved Sex Words and Phrases’. The name alone never failed to make Steve smile. He still tried to slip in a few fun phrases.

Sometimes Bucky even let them stay, too.

Even more fun was that Bucky was willing to talk out the sex scenes with Steve; though that often devolved into more than just talk.

Their sex life had never been so exciting. There were a lot of new things that Bucky had been willing to at least try. Even more fun for Steve, though, was the fact that they could talk about nearly anything. Even things that they wouldn’t necessarily want to do, they still had fun talking about them.

Being able to share his fantasies with Bucky was an unbelievable turn on. Bucky encouraged him every step of the way. Even with things that he didn’t really understand or see the appeal of, he still supported Steve in writing about it.

It was possible that the sex scenes got a little bit better, too, since Bucky was willing to act some of them out with Steve.

For research purposes, of course.

Steve wasn’t really sure what all the changes would do for his readership. The part of him that loved it when people responded well to his works was a little worried that the changes in style might be a detriment to his numbers, but overall he wasn’t that concerned about it.

He wasn’t really writing this stuff for the money anyways; mostly he just wanted to see that other people liked and enjoyed what he was doing. But even if they didn’t, Steve didn’t think he would care. Having Bucky there involved and approving of his hobby was better than any kind of response he could have gotten from the market.

It was that thought that he kept in mind once Thunder and Ice was published. He was vaguely terrified to check up on it after the fact, so he mostly ignored it.

A couple weeks later, he and Bucky were tossing around ideas for the next novel when Jarvis interrupted them.

“Steve, Bucky, I’d like to congratulate you on your success. Thunder and Ice made the Amazon Bestsellers list as well as the New York Times Bestseller list,” Jarvis said warmly.

Both Steve and Bucky’s jaw dropped.

“No fucking way,” Bucky said.

Steve completely agreed with that sentiment.

“Indeed. Nearly fifteen thousand copies sold in the first week and week two sales should reach over seventeen thousand, once they are all tallied up.”

“Holy shit,” Steve whispered. The two of them sat there grinning at each other for a few minutes; just basking in the feeling of accomplishment.

“Good job, punk.” Bucky wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek soundly.

“Pretty sure you had a hand in it to, jerk.”

This was amazing. Steve couldn’t stop smiling.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re doing this, Stevie,” Bucky said seriously.

“Oh?” Steve said with a little touch of surprise. He knew that Bucky was enthusiastically on board with the whole deal, but it was still a little startling how supportive Bucky was with his writing.

“Yeah. You’re so much more than just that shield you carry, and it’s really great to see that other people see that too. You don’t have to be Captain America to make a difference.”

Steve blushed a little and then smirked.

“Yeah. Not only to I defend the Earth from aliens, Nazis, and mad scientists, but I also can write a hot panty scene too.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, but Bucky just grinned in response.

“You’re damn right you do. Speaking of panty scene, I got a new package in the mail this morning…” He slipped a hand under his shirt and thumbed the waistband of his pants. “…want to write a sex scene?” A sly smirk graced Bucky’s beautiful pouty lips and Steve’s throat went dry.

Steve swallowed.

“Yes. Yes I do.”

Bucky stood up and gave a come-hither stare at Steve over his shoulder as he walked to the bedroom.

“First one to the bed gets to be on top,” he called out over his shoulder.

Oh fuck yes, Steve thought. He couldn’t get out of his chair fast enough.

--

Thunder and Ice Amazong Banner

--

Darcy wandered through the CVS, filling her basket with junk food and instant coffee. Jane was neck deep in her latest project. Something about a light that could transport something blah blah blah.

Honestly, Darcy didn’t really pay much attention to the details. She just pointed the thingy at the thingy when Jane told her too.

Right now her main job was to make sure the sassy little scientist was full up on sugar and caffeine. These are the things that real science was fueled by, Darcy was certain.

Now that Thor was in town, though, there was significantly less need for Darcy to point things at things. There was still science going on, sure, but while Thor was here Jane would actually stop science-ing so she could go to bed.

Whether or not they were actually sleeping in bed, Darcy could only speculate.

And speculate she did. With great interest.

What could she say, Thor was fucking cut.

In the meantime, though, Darcy was a bit bored. Jane and Eric were busy picking Thor’s brain and Darcy was ready for a break from the science babble. So to the CVS she went to stock up on chow.

She buzzed by the cheap book section. Sometimes they had some great housewife smut there, and Darcy was all over stories about big strapping men doing things like rescuing kittens and wooing women who were falling out of their clothes.

It filled a need.

Huh, she thought. There’s a weird one. They actually put a book with two dudes on the cover in a random drug store. Wow. Social progress.

She picked up the book to get a closer look.

Thunder and Ice.

 

Thunder and Ice Book Front

 

Thunder and Ice Book Side

 

The front featured a burly blond man and a gorgeous looking brunette. The blond had long flowing hair and was standing silhouetted by lightning in the background.

Actually. He kinda looked like Thor, once Darcy thought about it.

The brunette was sort of kneeling in front of the blond, bent a little backwards in the blond’s arms.

Classic pose.

There was a suggestively placed rifle barrel and the brunette’s left arm was covered in silver armor.

…With a red star on the shoulder.

Darcy frowned and puzzled over that a moment. That…kinda looked an awful lot like the Winter Soldier.

Long brunette hair. Silver arm. Red star. Rifle.

No. It couldn’t be.

That would be ridiculous.

And even if it was supposed to be them, well, what was the big deal? Fanfiction was a thing. A thing Darcy may or may not have looked at.

From time to time.

When she was feeling like she needed the pick-me-up.

And then she saw the author’s name.

Grant R Stevenson.

….

Grant R Stevenson. Why did that name ring a bell for her?

When the answer hit her, she dropped her basket in shock. Grant R Stevenson was pretty damn similar to Steven Grant Rogers.

It had to be a joke. Whoever it was who wrote the book was clearly a huge Avengers nerd and wanted to be funny.

Not like that would stop her from buying the book though! She was all over this shit.

Just for good measure she picked up a copy for Jane, too. Maybe she’d like a little something to keep her company next time Thor was off world?

Over the course of the next few days, Darcy became more and more convinced that Thunder and Ice was written by an Avenger, and that Avenger was probably Steve.

The little personality quirks each of the characters had were stuff that no random stranger would know, but were exactly the kind of thing that came up when you actually got to interact with these people.

Like how Thor loves pop tarts. And how Bucky tosses pancakes in the air when he makes them. And how Natasha and Clint get into knitting competitions.

What was the most telling, though, was how lovingly the books describe Bucky. And Darcy knew there was only one Avenger who was as obsessed with that dude as this author seemed to be.

Steve. It had to be Steve.

And after reading the whole thing, she kinda wanted to applaud. Like, either the 40’s had been way kinkier than she ever knew, or Steve had fully embraced the wonders of the future.

The one thing she knew she had to do, was show this to Thor. It was too damn awesome not to share.

Knowing what she knew about the Asgardian, Steve and Bucky would thank her later.

--

Thunder and Ice Dedication

--

When Bucky answered the knock at their apartment door, he was a little surprised to see that it was Thor on the other side of it. As far as Bucky knew, Thor was still off in Arizona with Jane and her science gang.

“Hey, Thor. How’s it going?”

“I am well, friend Barnes. My lady Darcy has explained that you and Steven wish to feel the full might of my Asgardian prowess. I have come to say that these actions would please me, and by my lady Jane’s leave, I am here to pursue some short term accommodations with the two of you.”

Bucky blinked at him; too stunned to actually figure out what to say.

A huge grin slowly spread over Thor’s face and he held up a copy of Thunder and Ice.

“Is that so?” Bucky grinned right back. “Why don’t you come on in and join us for dinner?”

Tonight was going to be so fun.

 

Thunder and Ice Art

Chapter Text

Bucky’s Approved (and incomplete) List of Sex Words and Phrases:

Dick
Cock
Butt
Ass
Cheeks
Groin
Erection
Arousal
Shaft
Head
Crown
Penis
Hole
Balls
Fuck
Any clinical term, pending approval

 

Bucky, there aren’t enough words here! How am I ever gonna write all the scenes I need to?

Shut it, punk, we’ll deal with it. I’ll help.

Ooo. Tonight??

Every night <3

 

Bucky’s Banned List of Sex Words and Phrases: To be added to as needed.

Wiener Soldier (Fucking really Steve?!)
Turgid member
The little captain
Purple helmeted soldier
Flesh rod
Meat rod
…any kind of rod
Engorged member
…any kind of member
Man antler I am serious Steve, no man antler
Thor’s tiny hammer
Thor’s otherhammer
Manly girth
Flesh dagger
Meat thermometer
Dripping sausage
Love sack
Love juice
Release the Kraken
‘Freed his erection’ (What was it freed from? Prison? Was there a life sentence?) (What if it was tied up? Could it be freed then?) (...I'll buy the ribbon.)
Manwich (that is NOT A FOOD I don’t care what you say Steven)
3 man choo choo
Sloppy Daisy Chain
Steel hot buns
Nether rocket
Come gun
Nut butter
Little swimmers
Cum (spell it properly, for fucks sake)
Manhood (subject to approval)
Love stick
Love…anything
Puckered man-hole
Minced meat
Once more into the breach (how dare)
Absolutely no puns
Wee drummer
Sweet syrup (subject to approval)
Beef whistle
Dong
Johnson
Little rifle
Any kind of wand
Any kind of tool
Pleasure knob
Sex stick
Happy walnuts
The horizontal knife fight (…maybe. But only because I like knives!)
Any phrase that references Cargo, baggage, or being boarded.
Anything to do with food. (except the occasional fruit…)
Anything to do with bottles
Fire hose
Love warrior
Leaky hose
Beef missile
Mr. Dependable
Piston
Man hammer
Anything to do with babies. Just…don’t go there.
Yogurt maker
Hot body icing (unless you’re talking about an actual purchased food product)
Mini WMD
Crotch Rocket (unless you’re talking about a type of motorcycle)
Mini me
Throbbing flesh dagger
Joy stick
…any kind of stick
Pelt covered pleasure hound
Flower of desire
Tender nail driver
helpful dick wizard (….we’ll talk about this one.)
Man-goo
Jizz
Pants monster
Nip-nops
Hot spooge
Come Geyser
Jalapeno poppers
Bulbous mushroom tip
Love button
Spunk
Cream pie
Pink pleasure passage
Moist meat cave
Cream-filled pastry
Cream anything
Sock mouse
Sound holster
Bratwurst