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dino-saur added 18 other users to chat

dino-saur named chat: it's mingle time

 

dino-saur hELLO EVERYONE WELCOME

angelface chan sweety~~ what is this

father ?? 

mother who are y'all what is happening

nicegemini are there actually 19 fucking people in this chatroom

tallbeagle CHANNIE HYUNG YOU ACTUALLY DID IT

dino-saur of cOURSE i DID 

therock sanha what have u done

minhoe r u dwayne johnson

therock what no

HOSH ah i wish you were dwayne johnson he's so daddy 

dkcountryreturns soonyoung 

HOSH sorry babe it's true

dad Ok. Let's all settle and introduce ourselves.

father how about we all calm down and introduce ourselves so it's less confusing

puppycat oh wow

visual impressive

whatwoo do we have 2 dads now

hitthekwan whaAT Is hAPEENign

verdone LETS LISTEN To DADS

dad Thank you Hansol.

verdone np dad

dad Okay I'll start I suppose. Hello to all who don't know me, I'm Choi Seungcheol, I'm 21 years old, and I live in Seoul.

woozi you're so boring cheol

angelface i'll go next!! btw we all live in Seoul together just to let you know~~

angelface so im yoon jeonghan, also 21, i'm dating the beautiful hong jisoo so ahem back off,,, anyway nice to meet you!!~~

dino-saur he's our mom figure!

mother hello~~ 

joshed han pls

angelface <3

joshed welp i'm hong jisoo but you can call me joshua, im 21 also, and i love music and rabbits

puppycat this is going to take forever ye

tallbeagle shhh binnie hyung let them continue

goodgemini hello

goodgemini i'm junhui, gemini, chinese, 20, aspiring actor

HOSH wtf

whatwoo yikes

mother  should i be feeling threatened rn bc i am

minghoe jun hyung wtf

goodgemini what?????

woozi you sound like some weird guy you meet at the bar who has one beer and tells you their life story

goodgemini ?!!/!? iT WAS strAIGHT TO THE POINT

HOSH anyway,,, moving on

HOSH im kwon soonyoung!!! i'm 20 years old and i like to dance!! 

dkcountryreturns ahem,,,

dkcountryreturns cough cough cough

dkcountryreturns :)))))))

HOSH AH yes and i am dating seokmin btw

father we couldn't tell,,

therock DID I HEAR DANCE

therock D A n CE

hitthekwan wow seok that was some smooth shit right there

dkcountryreturns aW i AM SO tOUCHED I LoVE YOU <3333333

HOSH I LOV E YIO TOO <333

whatwoo hello i am jeon wonwoo

visual  w o w

puppycat  aRE You relaTED TTO JEON JUNGKOOK

joshed isn't he the maknae from bts

puppycat  yE s

whatwoo  yes i am!

puppycat SHCGFEU

therock  he literally just fell to the floor

therock i think he's crying?

therock yup. crying.

puppycat i LOVE JEON JUNGKOOK

whatwoo he's my cousin

tallbeagle binnie hyung are you okau

puppycat wonWOO tELL yoUR COUSin i WANNA SuCC

mother oooh don't let dongmin hear youuu

father where is dongmin?!

woozi my turn losers. i'm lee jihoon, i'm 20 years old, i'm not short, and i am dating seungcheol

visual thatS a  L I E

visual jiHOON iS 5'5

mother g a SP

mother  JINJIN DO YOU KNOW HWAT THis mENAs

father hyUNG

mother  S OMEONE IS SHORTER THB US 

tallbeagle theyre crying lol!

verdone i think we've made mmost of y'all cry and it's been like 10 minutes i think we desrve an award

woozi kim mingyu

visual  OOPS

woozi do you want to live till your 21 birthday?

visual yes jihoon

woozi  then i suggest keeping your mouth shut :)

visual  y ES JIHOON

dkcountryreturns HELLO!! i am dk, aka dokyeom, aka lee seokmin!! i am 20 and dating hoshi aka soonyoung!!

hitthekwan they REEALy like eachother btw

verdone yeh be prepared to endure lots of gooey shit with these 2

HOSH okay VERKWAN just bc y'all have some UST goinf on does not mean u can act annoyed about our loving relationship 

verdone  wh a t

hitthekwan suddenly i have a thing at the thing bYE

dino-saur mom

mother  yes?

angelface yes dear?

mother oops wrong child 

dino-saur what is UST?

angelface ahh well channie, ust stands for unresolved sexual tension, and it's something we have to deal with on a daily basis

joshed our leading contender of the dreaded UST is Hansol and Seungkwan, who look at eachother's backsides more than their faces; than we have Junhui and Minghao, who are too awkward to admit that they feel more than normal bestfriends do; and than (of course) the meanie couple, Wonwoo and Mingyu, who on the daily switch from being basically married to being awkward strangers. Please donate money to Hong Jisoo and Yoon Jeonghan so we can resolve these potential couple's terrible fate..

dino-saur oh

HOSH  IM AKGHING SI HARD LITERALLY EVERYONE JUST RAN IN SIFFRENT DIRECTIONS 

dkcountryreturns  frckd EXPOSDE

woozi jisoo hyung i feel like you've been waiting to let that out

dad That was typed out so fast, wow. 

mother i can smell the drama that will come out of this gc i am SO ready

visual lETS conTINUE

visual okay I Am KIM MINGYU I AM 20 YEARS OLD AND I aM THE VISUAL oF evERYONE

dino-saur it's true

tallbeagle ooh you should see the visual of our friendgroup!

mother  sanha dear are you referencing me bc I have headshots ready

tallbeagle nope! i'm talking about cha eunwoo!!

minhoe cha eunwoo?/!?!?1 like /the/ cha eunwoo??????

tallbeagle [image] this guy?

woozi  holy shit

minhoe i CAN'T brAETE

dino-saur i told you they'd react this way sanha! our whole friendgroup bonds over a similar bond of adoring cha eunwoo

dad jiHOONIE AND I HAVE EVERYSINGLE OF HIS MOVIES

angelface jisOO BABE pinCH ME

joshed jEonGHAn 

visual welp

 

visual changed username to memegyu

 

puppycat oh me oh my

father should we tell them

dino-saur just wait a bit hyung! have him say it when it's time to introduce y'all!

dino-saur minghao you're next!!

minghoe WOO sorry I had to calm myself down I can't believe you guys are friends with cha eunwoo 

goodgemini ahem

minghoe ANYWAY im  xu minghao!! i'm chinese! i'm 19! i like to dance!

therock  da n ce

angelface okay!! three more of us!! let's go!! kwannie you're next!!

hitthekwan finaALLY heLLo! i am boo(yonce) seungkwan!! i am fabulous and 19 years old and i need love!! support me!! I can sing!! also I am from Jeju ;)

HOSH we love you seungkwan 1!!!!1!1 <33

hitthekwan nAEGA HOSH i jUST ChOKD up I LOV EYOU ToOO

verdone ahem,,, hello am vernon aka choi hansol 19 years young i like to rap and drake v nice to meet you

mother ,,, did ,,, 

woozi you just say ,,,,,

whatwoo "19 years young" 

therock  ??????!!!!!

minghoe i think i just vommed a little

tallbeagle yikes

dino-saur HANSOL YOU JUST HAD YOON SANHA,, PUREST OF ALL PURES,, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUL ON THIS EARTH,, 'YIKES' YOU HOLY SHIT

dad Language channie.

dino-saur sorry dad

verdone  WHAT WRONG WITH 19 YEARS YOUNG 

joshed oh god please help this child

dkcountryreturn EVEN JISOOS CHRIST IS PRAYING 4 U VERNON

dino-saur A N Y W A Y 

dino-saur hello!! I am dino aka lee chan!! i am 18 years old and i love dancing and Michael Jackson!! 

angelface isn't he adorable

woozi if anyone hurts this child you will regret ever being born

puppycat wasn't planning on it! :D

tallbeagle  is it our turn?? nice to meet you all by the way!!

dad  You guys go ahead!

father they amazingly did that in age order so MJ hyung you should start

mother ah~ ok,, hello i am mj aka kim myungjun!! i am 23 years old and i love iron man and singing!

dad So you are everyone's elder?

mother ahhhshh i supposed so but don't say it outloud lolol

dino-saur it's okay mj hyung!! it means you are wiser and more mature than all of us! a true mother!!

mother thank you chan-ah~~

therock hhmm i wouldn't say that

mother park minhyuk

therock SOR r Y hYUNG

father hey i am jinjin aka park jinwoo,, i am 21 yrs old and i like rapping and g-dragon also i am dating MJ

memegyu  awh we have an actual mother and father couple in the gc instead the awkward dad figure and mom figure who probably used to date but then found other ppl and kept the concepts with their new significant others but it's still a little awkward when the family concept comes up and the author has too many ships and feels bad to have the broken parents but their larger ships must reign on

whatwoo what

memegyu what?

dad Um.

joshed  a n YWA AY

puppycat um! i don't know where minnie is? he may still be working so i'll go!!

father just go ahead we'll introduce him later

puppycat hello! i am moon bin! i am 19 years old, i like to dance and i model and sing as a hobby!

angelface who do you model for?

puppycat um you may know the company, ASTRO entertainment? They do all kinds of stuff for singers, rappers, actors, models and stuff... that's where our whole friend group met!

goodgemini holy shit

minghoe you guys work at ASTRO?!?!? hO MY GS

whatwoo wait,,

whatwoo is this [image] you??

puppycat oh yeah hahaha that's me

memegyu  AHHHH

minhoe AHHH

verdone AHHHH

joshed AHHHH

dino-saur hehe

angelface CHANNIE BBY YOU DIDN'T TELL US THAT YOU WERE ADDING BIN,, FAMOUS MODEL aND VOCALIST,, TO OUR GC

dino-saur oops! must've slipped my mind! rocky you're next!

HOSH  astro ent,,, rocky,,,, hmm,,,,

therock hello! i am park minhyuk also known as rocky!! i like dancing and martial arts and rapping!

HOSH GASP

HOSH YOU'RE /ROCKY/ duDe I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOUR DANCE COVERS SINCE YOU STARTED POSTING THEM

minghoe do yOU HEAR ME CryiNF

therock iM BLushIFN

hitthekwan wait,,, if you guys are bin and rocky,,,

verdone ,,, than mj and jinwoo,,,,

hitthekwan arE MJ AND JINJIN THE DUET COUPLE

verdone JINJIN YOU ARE THER EASON I SATRTED RAPPING

hitthekwan MJ HYUNG YOU'RE VOICE IS HEAVEN IN SOUND

HOSH CHAN AH HOW DID YOU END UP PUTTNG EVERYONE FROM ASTRO WHO IS SUCCESSFUL IN THIS CHAT

dino-saur hehe it was sanha's idea 

tallbeagle heh that's me!! I'm yoon sanha, 17 years old!! i play guitar and sing and i'm really flexible?!? i also like eating so thank god i have minhyuk who can cook! we are dating btw!!

tallbeagle heehee i can't even type that without blushing

therock *slams book on desk* adorable

dkcountryreturns SANHA I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OF YOUR GUITAR COVERS

angelface SANHA YOUR VOCALS ARE THE REASON I LIVE

angelface and you're so young too!! 

dino-saur guys we did it!! everyone is now introduced!!

woozi it's been a fuciing hour holys hti

dad It's actually getting kind of late, we should head to bed. Especially our new friends, who schedules must be demanding if they're working at somewhere like ASTRO.

father that's probably a good idea, say bye for now guys

mother byee~~

tallbeagle bye guys!

joshed i'll say bye for our group lol, everyone is already asleep,,,, talk to you guys in the mornig!

 

 

~~~

 

chachawoo oh no :( i slept through everything,,, welp for when everyone wakes up-- i'm lee dongmin or cha eunwoo~ nice to meet you!!

 

~~

 

minhoe imSCEAEINF CHa eunWOo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

HOSH goOD MoRNIG my FriENDS

dkcountryreturns GOOD MORNING MY LOVE <333

tallbeagle gm !!! how did u all sleep??

minghoe wHAT IS SLEEP 

minghoe I DID NOTCLOSE MY EYES ONCE LAST NIGHT

joshed hao r u okay?

minghoe I REWATCHED ALL OF CHA EUNWOOS FILMS AND DRAMAS 

minghoe EVERY ONE

father there are like 8 dramas and like 15 movies??? is that possible????

puppycat did i hear eunwoo

therock dongmin was up late last night :(( 

puppycat well he did sleep all day yesterday, of course he'd be awake through te night

verdone who's dongmin again? i 4get

chachawoo lol me!

verdone oh

verdone /oh/

verdone OH

minghoe  CHA EUNWOO 

minghoe AHHHHHHH

dad AHHHHHH.

angelface AHHHHHH

dino-saur (sorry dongmin hyung) AHHHHHHH

whatwoo AHHHH

HOSH  AHHHHHHH

dkcountryreturns AHHHHAH

hitthekwan AHHHHHHH

memegyu  AHHHHHH

goodgemini AHHHHH 

joshed  AHHHHHHH

woozi ,,,,,

woozi ahh

mother tbh same jihoon

chachawoo hehe hello everyone, it's very nice to meet you

woozi i think everyone in this household is blushing

dad Don't even try to lie Jihoon, your face is probably the rosiest of all of ours. (It's adorable).

puppycat hi minnie <3333

chachawoo morning binnie <33333

minghoe GDO NO oF courSE HE'S TAKEN

goodgemini  um excuse me

minghoe whY am I liiKE thE ONLY SINGLE ONE hERE

goodgemini um /excuse me/

minghoe whY are all the attractive ones gAY

memegyu  gdi minghao you're GAY

minghoe THATS NOT THE POINT

joshed  i am also the gay 

angelface  well i'd certainly hope so !

dkcountryreturns  did i hear gay

whatwoo is anyone in this chat straight

chachawoo  welp i'm not 

puppycat me neither 

minghoe  :,)

tallbeagle no one in the astro group!!

tallbeagle [image] here is bin and dongmin!!

minghoe ok u know what

minghoe i actually ship it so hard 

minhoe y'all are the cutest couple i've ever seen ?????

hitthekwan POWER COUPLE 

chachawoo bin is blushing so hard rn i'm so weak

dad Hearing Cha Eunwoo say that makes me feel warm inside.

chachawoo hehe pls call me dongmin guys !! i feel like we are going to be v close so pls don't feel the need to call me eunwoo!

goodgemini haohao is having trouble breathing rn i think we need a doctor

minghoe i'm FINE but anyway okay dongmin :D

puppycat [image] here's socky

therock MOON BIN DO U WANT TO DIE ATLEAST SEND A BETTER PIC

verdone nice butt @ sanha 

tallbeagle hehe thank

hitthekwan  excuse me

therock  i don't think so pal

memegyu how did u italicise that we can't do that on this app?!?!

angelface ah the power of jealous lovers

joshed i'm thoroughly impressed

chachawoo [image] here minhyuk is this is better

therock  ye s

HOSH awhhhhhhhh

woozi aw

memegyu u know it's cute when jihoon says aw

dad Wow. Jihoon approves. Impressive.

woozi u know what cheol fuck u and ur perfect texting grammar i can think things r cute ok

dino-saur mommy daddy other mom and dad are fighting what do we do

joshed it's okay chan this happens all the time

angelface it's okay channie~~ mommy is here

angelface just ignore them, this just shows that they aren't the /real/ parents here xx

woozi ok jeonghan do u wanna fight me 

mother ANYWAY DO YOU WANNA SEE ME AND JINWOO

mother WE ARE A COUPLE TOO AND I WANNA SHOW US OFF SO HERE U GO 

mother [image] [image] [image] [image]

father myungjun pls

dkcountryreturns idc what y'all think but myungjin is best astro couple end of story.

woozi fuck u socky is the best

minghoe ~binwoo~

angelface ,,you can't beat the parent couple,,

dkcountryreturns THANK YOU MOMMY

angelface you are welcome child

whatwoo binwoo

memegyu whoops guess who's also binwoo

puppycat heh um guys you don't have to fight over our relationships lolol

hitthekwan MYUNGJIN DOMINATES 

HOSH EXCUSE SOCKY IS THE BEST COUPLE EVER TO WALK THIS EARTH DONT PLAY

dkcountryreturns  gasp

HOSH sorry bby i can't betray my ships

therock socky

mother  minhyuk stay out of this honey this isn't your fight

mother but,, everyone know's where my loyalty lies 

mother coughbinwoocough 

dad  I personally relate most to Myungjin. 

woozi guess who's sleeping on the couch tonight! :)

woozi i'll give you a hint- it's not me :)

dad I suddenly ship Socky.

woozi thought so

 

~

 

HOSH why does everybody hate milk?? its so good for u and tastes good

verdone ew 

therock i only have milk in my cereal

dino-saur maybe that's why you're so short!!

therock diNO WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

tallbeagle i drink a glass of milk everyday!!

dino-saur and that's why you're tall and strong!!

mother ah yes my bby sanha is so strong and healthy~~

memegyu i'm 185 cm and i haven't drank milk since i was like 15

woozi fuck u mingyu i've drank milk every day since i was 15 and i'm still 164 cm do u wanna die

puppycat mj hyung dongmin and I are both almost the same height as sanha and we drink milk why aren't you praising us

mother sanha is 17 and still growing while taking care of himself as a teen did /you/ do that bin?

chachawoo he didn't

puppycat min :(((

chachawoo sorry bby can't lie to mother he knows best

whatwoo motheerrrr knows best

memegyu wonwoo don't do it

whatwoo mother knows best listen to your mother it's a scary world out there

joshed TANGLED

memegyu y'all im so sorry i thought we got his disney fetish under control

whatwoo it's not a fetISH

HOSH AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

dkcountryreturns AND ITS LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED 

HOSH AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

dkcountryreturns AND ITS LIKE THE SKY IS NEWWW

tallbeagle hhm i like frozen 

memegyu LET IT GOOOO

whatwoo who has the disney fetish now u asswipe

memegyu <3 LET IT GOOO

father CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOREEEE

tallbeagle do u guys know hercules? that's my favorite uwu

joshed ILL BE THERE SOMEDAY I CAN GO THE DISTANCE I WILL FIND MY WAY IF I CAN BE STRONG I KNOW EVERY MILE WILL BE WORTH MY WHILEEEEEE 

angelface WHEN I GO THE DISTANCE ILL BE RIGHT WHERE I BELONG

mother BLESS MY SOUL HERC WAS ON A ROLL PERSON OF THE WEEK IN EVERY GREEK OPINION POLL

whatwoo WHAT A PRO HERC COULD STOP A SHOW POINT HIM TO A MONSTER AND YOURE TALKING S R O

dino-saur HE WAS A NO ONE

tallbeagle A ZERO ZERO

minghoe NOW HE'S A HONCHO 

goodgemini HES A HERO

verdone NO CHANCE NO WAY I WONT SAY IT NO NO

HOSH YOU SWOON 

dkcountryreturns YOU SIGH 

memegyu DONT DENY IT UH OH

verdone ITS TOO CLICHE I WON'T SAY IM IN LOOVE

hitthekwan NO CHANCE NO WAY I WONT SAY IT NO NO

woozi GIVE UP GIVE IN

dad CHECK THE GRIN YOU'RE IN LOVE

hitthekwan THE SCENE WONT PLAY I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE

puppycat YOURE DOIN FLIPS

chachawoo READ OUR LIPS 

dino-saur YOURE IN LOVE

verdone um

hitthekwan suddenly i have a thing at the thing again ha ha ha silly thing ahahabye

therock okay i feel this has gotten too real

dad That played out perfectly...

memegyu i can feel the awkwardness rolling from hansol next door someone pls help

joshed  hannie we must go comfort our child

angelface of course~~ let's hope he's not mad at us for being his muses ;)

dad Jihoon

woozi yes seuncheol

dad We should go find and consol Seungkwan as well. Maybe we can help to overcome the awkwardness between him and Sol.

woozi ok i'll meet you at his door

woozi if it's locked i'm kicking the door down

dad Couldn't we just knock?

woozi no.

dino-saur does this mean one case of UST will be solved soon?

chachawoo from the looks of it,,, probably!

HOSH whoop whoop

tallbeagle i'm glad that everyone in astro is together and happy,, UST seems scary :3

father  sanha u and minhyuk had the most obvious UST i've ever had the misfortune of witnessing

mother dear god that was the worst 6 months of my life

puppycat dongmin and i had to literally kidnap the two of you and lock you in the studio so you could resolve the awkwardness

dino-saur oh i remember that !

memegyu chan how do you remember that

dino-saur i've been friends with sanha since elementary school! that's how i knew everyone lol i've known them for years

minghoe YOU'VE KNOWN ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE FROM ASTRO ENT FOR YEARS AND YOU'VE NEVER INTRODUCED US!?!?!

dino-saur oops

angelface bin and dongmin you've inspired us

woozi verkwan are currently locked in the basement

dad We've decided to keep them in their until they sort it out

angelface jisoo's eavesdropping atm 

joshed GUYS

joshed I HEAR SOMETHING

joshed wait

dkcountryreturns what?

joshed EW ABORT ABORT

woozi yuck yuck yuck

angelface DO WE LEAVE THEM? WHAT DO WE DO?

mother waht is happeing

tallbeagle do i need to call the police?

tallbeagle or the ghostbusters?

dad Um. Hansol and Seungkwan have gotten over their thing. 

joshed THEY'VE DONE MORE THAN JUST GET OVER IT

joshed I NEVER WANT TO HEAR KWANNIE'S VOICE AGAIN

angelface I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO CLEAN MYSELF

woozi save us

chachawoo oh yeah we forgot to tell you this was the result of the operation

puppycat um make sure you let them out before they do something,,,,,, unsanitary

joshed AHHHHHHHHH

angelface SHUA CHEOL HOON WE GOTTA GO BACK BEFORE OUR CHILDREN LOSE THEIR INNOCENCE 

dad GO GO GO!

father it's been 15 minutes

whatwoo  are they ok

HOSH i do not want to think of the stuff that may have happened in the past minutes

verdone  GUYS

therock *cat call whistles*

goodgemini sup sol what've u been up to

minghoe where's seungkwan

verdone spEAKIN G ON SEUNDGWAM

memegyu seundgwam? who's she? sounds spicy

hitthekwan mingyu shut ur fuck

memegyu what if my fuck doesn't wanna be shut

whatwoo mingyu stop

verdone ya mingyu leave my BOYFRIEND alone

verdone guys it's been 5 minutes

verdone this is the part where you're supposed to be really surprised and happy for us

dad Ah. Congrats guys.

joshed WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU TWO?!

woozi YA IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU GUYS MOAN FOR 20 MINUTES

HOSH I NEVER WOULD'VE GUESSED IT

dkcountryreturns VERKWAN LIVES

tallbeagle YAYYYY :33 SO HAPPY FOR U

puppycat how was the basement

memegyu i bet it really set the mood

whatwoo congratulations.

angelface *sniffles* my babies,,, all grown up,,, 

mother *hands tissue* it's okay,,, it's beautiful moment,,,, you should be proud,,,

chachawoo congrats guys! i hope you treat each other well! <3

hitthekwan I JUST FAINTED THANK YUO CHA EUNWOO I FEEL SO BLESSED

verdone KWANNIE OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS JUST BEEN CHRISTENED BY CHA EUNWOO 

hitthekwan I LOVE YOU

verdone I LOVE YOU TOO 

dino-saur awh what a nice ending

minghoe there is no end.

joshed hhm,,, JUNHAO NEXT

goodgemini joshua pls

 

~

 

joshed THERES HYDROGEN THEN HELIUM THEN LITHIUM BERYLLIUM BORON CARBON EVERYWHERE NITROGEN ALL THROUGH THE AIR OXYGEN SO U CAN BREATHE AND  FLORINE FOR YOUR PRETTY TEETH NEON TO LIGHT UP THE SIGNS SODIUM FOR SALTY TIMES MAGNESIUM ALUMINUM SILICON PHOSPHORUS THEN SULFUR CHLORINE AND ARGON POTASSIUM AND CALCIUM SO YOULL GROW STRONG SCANDIUM TITANIUM VANADIUM AND CHROMIUM AND MANGANESE THIS IS THE PERIODIC TABLE NOBLE GAS IS STABLE HALOGENS AND ALKALI REACT AGGRESSIVELY EACH PERIOD WE'LL SEE BEE OUTER SHELLS WHILE ELECTRONS ARE ADDED MOVING TO THE RIGHT IRON IS THE 26TH THEN COBALT NICKEL COINS YOU GET COPPER SINC AND GALLIUM GERMANIUM AND ARSENIC SELENIUM AND BROMINE FILM WHILE KRYPTON HELPS LIGHT UP YOUR ROOM RUBIDIUM AND STRONTIUM THEN YTTRIUM ZIRCONIUM NIOBIUM MOLYBDENUM TECHNETIUM RUTHENIUM RHODIUM PALLADIUM SILVERWARE THEN CADMIUM AND INDIUM TIN CAN ANTIMONY THEN TELLURIUM AND IODINE AND XENON AND THEN CAESIUM AND BARIUM IS 56 AND THIS IS WHERE THE TABLE SPLITS WHERE LANTHANIDES HAVE JUST BEGUN LANTHANUM CERIUM AND PRASEODYMIUM NEODYMIUM IS NEXT TO PROMETHIUM THEN 62 SAMARIUM EUROPIUM GADOLINIUM AND TERBIUM DYSPROSIUM HOLMIUM ERBIUM THULIUM YTTERBIUM LUTETIUM HAFNIUM TANTALUM TUNGSTEN THEN WE'RE ONTO RHENIUM OSMIUM AND IRIDIUM PLATINUM GOLD TO MAKE YOU RICH TILL YOU GROW OLD MERCURY TO TELL YOU WHEN ITS REALLY COLD THALLIUM AND LEAD THEN BISMUTH FOR YOUR TUMMY POLONIUM ASTATINE WOULD NOT BE YUMMY RADON FRANCIUM WILL LAST A LITTLE TIME RADIUM THEN ACIDINES AT 89 THIS IS THE PERIODIC TABLE NOBLE GAS IS STABLE HALOGENS AND ALKALI REACT AGGRESSIVELY EACH PERIOD WE'LL SEE NEW OUTER SHELLS WHILE ELECTRONS ARE TO THE RIGHT ACTINIUM THORIUM PROTACTINIUM URANIUM NEPTUNIUM PLUTONIUM AMERICIUM CURIUM BERKELIUM CALIFORNIUM EINSTEINIUM FERMIUM MENDELEVIUM NOBELIUM LAWRENCIUM RUTHERFORDIUM DUBNIUM SEABORGIUM BOHRIUM HASSIUM MEITNERIUM DARMSTADTIUM ROENTGENIUM COPERNICIUM UNUNTRIUM FLEROVIUM UNUNPENTIUM LIVERMORIUM UNUNSEPTIUM UNUNOCTIUM AND THEN WE'RE DONE

angelface  joshua baby why

memegyu  what is the point 

father  i love that song

whatwoo  too many big words

joshed  get Educated punks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

therock LISTEN HERE LOSERS 

therock IM DONE

memegyu ru ok

therock nO

puppycat hyuk calm tf down

therock NO

therock EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW

therock I CAN'T HIDE THIS ANYMORE

verdone wjat is happng

mother minhyuk don't do it

chachawoo minhyuk please

dino-saur is this what i think it is!?

therock CHA EUNWOO

minghoe uwu what's this?

therock IS A MINION FUCKER 

goodgemini gasp

hitthekwan oh god not minions

puppycat rcoky why

chachawoo okAY to clarify i am not a minion "fucker"

chachawoo i just like them and think they're cute

chachawoo it's just like u pusheen

minghoe i feel so conflicted right now

HOSH yikEs minions

dkcountryreturns minion aren't that bad? like they're kinda cute?

chachawoo tHANK YOU seokmin

HOSH who is lee seokmin anyway never heard of her

dkcountryreturns sOONYOUNG plS

therock don't you DARE compare pusheen to MINIONS

memegyu "i love minion yaoi,,, and if you don't like that,,, then unfollow me"

joshed im sOBBifn 

whatwoo where did that vine go 

father im not even kidding i think it's been removed from every social media site

memegyu srsly the author took live 2 hours to find the vine and it was in a fucking twaimz video like what

woozi what 

memegyu what?

dad Anyway.

dad Minhyuk, what did Dongmin do to you for you to result to this.

therock ,,,,

therock he ate the last piece of cheesecake even when he told me he wouldn't

chachawoo because i DIDN'T

tallbeagle oh the cheesecake?? that was me lol!! it was really yummy~~

angelface oH HABSASH DONGMIN BABE I'MSO SORYR

goodgemini imSFUCKIF

mother OSHDoSD

dino-saur oh how the turns have tabled

dad isn't it oh how the tables have turned?

woozi cheol just appreciate the child's meme

chachawoo >:(

puppycat i cANt BLIevE

tallbeagle wait what's happening? Was there something special about the cake?

therock nothing,,, it's all good babe,,,, i'm gonna just go ok

puppycat THERE'S A SINGLE TEAR RUNNING DOWN MINHYUK'S FACE IM SHTING

tallbeagle i'm so confused D:

joshed it's okay sanha

mother shush child it's okay

angelface don't worry about it :)

tallbeagle :D

 

 

~

 

 

verdone guYS WE NEED TO BAND TOGETGER

verdone I AMSO ANGRY RN

hitthekwan why?? :(

angelface i heRAD ABOUT THIS D:<

mother what do we need to do?

father who do we need to kill

verdone everyone on social media >:(

verdone so basically this girl- kyla massie debuted with PRISTIN earlier this year 

chachawoo ahh i love pristin!! i'm actually close with eunwoo lol

minhoe gasp i know what ur talking about hansol

tallbeagle we at astro are big fans of pristin! what's wrong?

verdone so kyla is basically my little sister and i love her to death,, she's close with sofia

verdone she's 15 and the maknae of the girls and she is getting so much hate rn i'm gonna scream 

hitthekwan idk if u guys have seen but there are a shit ton of people fat-shaming her and hating her bc she weighs more than the other girls and is a HEALTHY weight,,

verdone she's only 15 >:((((

therock *rolls up sleeves* oh hELL NO

whatwoo nayoung and the other girls are pissed iheard

memegyu how do u know

whatwoo i'm cousins w jungkook rmemebr,, i know lots of idols through him

minghoe !!?@!?!?

puppycat !>!.1//!?!?!?

dad You can fan-boy later, let's think of ideas for ways to try to stop them harassing Kyla.

joshed we all have lots of social media influence yeah? let's just use that to boost awareness and bring out supporters

angelface good idea babe i knew accepting ur confession would lead to something good!

joshed  u confessed to me,,

angelface ANYWAY i'll start tweeting now!!!!!!

chachawoo a lot of my fans are big fans of music, especially since we're part of astro ent, so we can definitely get ppl to stop harassing her

HOSH i'll post a rant of my youtube

joshed eunwoo or jinjin- can u retweet a tweet of my talking about it in english? So intl fans can know as well

dkcountryreturns rt hansol's too 

hitthekwan kyla is from the US so if we can let her home country know they will take big acton

woozi tru international fans are crazy

mother  we all will!!

verdone THANK U GUYS IM CRYING 

 

dino-saur changed chatroom name to ' kyla massie protection squad 2k17 '

 

dino-saur whoop whoop protect little sisters

 

 

~

 

 

dkcountryreturns g uys we should all meet up

dkcountryreturns OT19 interactions u know

tallbeagle ya!! chan and i hang out all the time!

minghoe still jealous

therock u guys can probably come to our dorm

puppycat it's pretty big for only 6 people

chachawoo we have a big living room so we can all chill and eat snacks

HOSH PLEASE

tallbeagle lemme just ask

tallbeagle mom dad

father yes sanha

mother yes child?

tallbeagle can we have seventeen over?

father seventeen?

therock they call themselves seventeen, so we just call them seventeen idk

father  oh 

mother why not

puppycat yayy!!

memegyu i wanna see ur dorm

hitthekwan yayy

minghoe yayy

goodgemini yayy

verdone yayy

dkcountryreturns yayy

HOSH yayy

whatwoo yayy

dino-saur yayy

dino-saur i need to ask the parents

angelface I AM HERE MY CHILD AND I SAY YES AND SO DOES JISOO

joshed yes

joshed oh hannie already said it but i think if we can clean up quickly we can go over

woozi my opinion doesn't matter but i wanna see if myungjun and jinwoo are actually taller than me so i'll go

hitthekwan dad we just need u 

dad Sure.

dino-saur YAYYY

mother jihoon i'm so sure i'm taller than you

father we may be short but at least we are over 5'8

woozi i change my mind 

dad Too late.

woozi fuck

chachawoo WELP i'll go buy snacks

puppycat i'll come!!

therock me too!

puppycat nope

chachawoo haha no 

memegyu ouch 

tallbeagle hyukkie come here we should clean the house a bit!!

therock coMIGN

father Whipped

joshed jeonghan we should bring snacks or wine or something

angelface aren't we budgeting?

joshed Jeonghan we should bring them snacks and wine and be Good Guests or you're sleeping outside tonight! :)

angelface WE ARE GOING TO THE CORNER STORE WE'LL BRB TO PICK U GUYS UP BE READY IN 15 MINUTES LOVE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY YOU HONG JISOO

joshed :)

 

 

~

 

 

dino-saur we're here!!

HOSH why do i see strobe lights

 

 

~

 

 

angelface jisoo,,

joshed yes han

angelface where is the champagne we brought?

mother ooh u brought champagne? 

puppycat ooh champagne?

father not for u mister

puppycat i'm of legal age?

mother  mhhm u barely are 19 and we have minors here so i'm not risking it

mother  we are going to become american tonight so therefore if u are under 21 no champagne for u

puppycat :(

chachawoo :(

HOSH :(

woozi cheol

dad  Even you Jihoon.

woozi cheol

dad Jihoon baby please, it's only fair.

woozi fine but u owe me

dad Of course. <3

angelface that is if we can find the champagne bottle,,

joshed it's gotta be here somehwere!?

goodgemini hao and i have been in the living room talking with bin and dongmin for the past 30 min. so,,

whatwoo if mingyu or i had taken it you'd know bc he'd be vomiting and i'd be crying

mother and that's why we're doin g the 21 rule

woozi seungcheol and I have been with jisoo and jeonghan

dkcountryreturns um hah soonyoung and i are at the grocery store down the street

dad Why?

HOSH i wanted hot cheetos,,,

HOSH u guys want anything?

joshed /MY CHAMPAGNE/

angelface wait,,,

angelface we haven't heard anything from the maknaes,,,

father oh no

mother /OH NO/

memegyu one min i'm getting snapchat out this is going to be priceless

whatwoo mingyu pls

 

 

~

 

 

mother I CAN'T BELIEVE MY ANGEL,,, YOON SANHA,,,, WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS,,,

therock hyung it's just champange we have it at weddings all the time

mother I KNEW ROCKY WAS A BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM

angelface MY THREE CHILDREN

angelface YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS

joshed vernon

joshed i know it was you who stole the bottle in the first place

verdone whWt hOW

joshed first of all neither of the astro boys would EVER 

joshed neither would dino bc he is a pure soul

joshed seungkwan is a terrible liar so we'd know by know if it was him

memegyu i cANT bLEIVE YOU GUYS DRANK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE

whatwoo atleast they diluted it with apple juice

HOSH sdjsAH APPLE JUICE

goodgemini i can't believe sanha and dino are knocked out

chachawoo welp i think it's time to get sanha and rocky into bed before they vomit all over our guests

puppycat IM NEVER LETTING MINHYUK LIVE THIS DOWN

puppycat DID YOU SEE HIM LICK SANHA

minghoe eww wtf

goodgemini don't shame him hao it's not like u haven't done it

minghoe what

goodgemini what

woozi SOMEBODY SEPERATE VERKWAN NOW PLS

woozi I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A BAD PORNO

dad Well thank you for inviting us over, even though it ended up... interesting.

mother honestly i think you should come over again!

mother after sanha and rocky are ungrounded, of course :)

therock hyUNg 

therock mOM

therock eOMMA

hitthekwan ewhrha they get grounded hebehe

verdone wkhe groundeded

joshed :)

dad :)

angelface myungjun, how long are socky grounded for?

mother mmhm a week

angelface well, verkwan will see you guys in 2 weeks? chan will see u in 1 :)

verdone whaths hsDmOM DAD DADCHEOL

verdone JIHOON

woozi leave me out of this u delinquent

hitthekwan whY does chAn get one weekdwc

joshed how much shuold i bet u two pressured him

hitthekwan WeLP sEE yoU gys in two WEKs

angelface thanks again for having us!! <3

mother bye! <3

father good luck

chachawoo haha bye guys

puppycat i love being the middle child

minghoe byE gUYS i LoVE YOU

goodgemini thanks for the food and the acting tips dongmin

dkcountryreturns i like your dorm i'll be back

HOSH haha good luck rocky

memegyu  AHhaahs what a great night thanks guys i'm full of blackmain material now :))

whatwoo bye

 

 

~

 

 

puppycat UPDATE: it is a little past 6 am, socky are taking turns vomiting into the the bathtub, turns out the passion fruit scented febreeze works wonders

memegyu how romantic 

whatwoo go back to SLEEP mingyu ur moving around woke me up

HOSH uwu what's this?

whatwoo soonyoung shut up u can make fun of being when it's not SIX A.M. on the WEEKEND 

HOSH ok~~ sleep well you too~~

 

 

 

Chapter Text

memegyu guYS MY GRANDMOTHER JUST SENT ME AWHOLE BOX OF FIDGET SPINNERS

memegyu I DON'T EVEN LIK E THEM??

HOSH EW

goodgemini how does ur grandmother even know what a fidget spinner is

goodgemini isn't she like 92

joshed excuse me we will not talk about f*dget sp*nners in this household

father I HAD TO CONFISCATE LIKE 3 F*DGET SP*NNERS FROM SANHAS ROOM LAST WEEK

mother i banned them from entering the apartment

therock but mj we could sell them and get rich

mother hyuk dear we have dongmin to support us

chachawoo :)

mother why else do you think we keep him around

chachawoo :(

mother also rocky you and sanha are grounded, remember?! go give ur phone to jinwoo

therock :(

minghoe how much did u get mingyu

memegyu there's like 30 in here?!?!?!

dkcountryreturns if u sell each for like 7 dollars you could get over 200 dollars!! :D

whatwoo there are plenty of dumb sheeple who will pay even more for them

whatwoo sell them for like 12 bucks each

memegyu WONWOO MY DEAR WILL YOU COME LOITER OUTSIDE THE HIGHSCHOOL WITH ME SO WE CAN SELL THEM TO LITTLE TEENAGERS

whatwoo sounds sketchy

whatwoo i'll do it

angelface i'm still shook that ur gramma bought u fidget spinners

woozi BLEEP IT OUT JEONGHAN

angelface sorry jihoonie

angelface f*dget sp*nners

dad They are an abomination.

goodgemini rt

puppycat i don't think f*dget sp*nners are /that/ bad?? i mean they are too hyped but they don't do any harm

chachawoo bin pls 

HOSH THEY ARE TERRIBLE BIN A MISTAKE IS WHAT THEY ARE

HOSH EXAMPLES: [image] [image] 

goodgemini is that,,, a weed f*dget sp*nner,,,

woozi every day the human race creeps closer to damnation

puppycat but did u see bts is america,,

puppycat they had f*dget sp*nners

whatwoo i'm ashamed to be associated with jeon jungkook rn tbh

chachawoo hoSEOK HAD AN AMERICAN FLAG ONE

chachawoo I ALMOST DECLINED HIS OFFER TO COLLAB BC OF THAT

minghoe ,,,, jung hoseok wants to collab with u ,,,,

chachawoo I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT 

minghoe !!!!!!

puppycat MINNIE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT A MEMBER OF BTS WANTS TO COLLAB W U

puppycat IM HURT :(

chachawoo sorry binnie :( i really wasn't supposed to tell anyone, it was supposed to be a surprise thing for fans and stuff

chachawoo if it makes u feel any better i was going to let you come to the studio w/ me and have you meet him!!

puppycat really?!?

chachawoo yeah,,

puppycat :))))))

chachawoo also minhao and the rest of you guys i'll let you come to astro ent. and i'll give u a tour if you promise not to tell a SOUL

minghoe u know what that's a deal

joshed pLS

dad We wouldn't tell either way, right boys?

HOSH yes dad

dkcountryreturns u got it ;)

woozi i have no other friends to tell

angelface that's depressing

memegyu HEY GUYS I'M BACK

memegyu AND 500 BUCKS RICHER

father wtf /how/

mother didn't u only have like 30 f*dget sp*nners?

memegyu WELL U SEE

memegyu THE SCHOOL THAT I WANT TO IS FULL WITH PRIVILEGED RICH KIDS

memegyu SO THEY PAID FOR LIKE 25 PER SPINNER AND IF THEY WANTED TO BUY MORE THAN ONE THEY'D GIVE ME 50 OR 100 DOLLAR BILLS??

whatwoo tbh it was wild these kids were actually throwing their money at mingyu

angelface that's good you got paid so much!!

angelface because you haven't put in any money towards bills the past few months, so it's time to pay up :)

joshed snatched

 

 

~

 

 

father I AM SO DONE WITH THE TOP WEED SCANDAL 

father LEAVE MY DAD ALONE

dad I am so upset, he was expelled from his military division and he is getting a lot of hate. :(.

woozi lmao just for smoking a bit of weed 

woozi ur dads lit

memegyu hahaha bc he probs lit marijuana lolol

woozi ur a master of deduction sherlock

dkcountryreturns back in october even !! :(

angelface hehee top more like POT

HOSH did GD get busted a while ago for drugs as well? idek

joshed G DRUGGIN' AND POT FROM BIG BONG

memegyu  honestly i never knew jisoo would be this way and i'm Concerned

whatwoo wow

whatwoo that's fantastic baby

 

 

~

 

 

verdone GUYS IM BACK

hitthekwan WE ARE BACK FROM BEING GROUNDED!

puppycat it's been like 4 days i thought u were supposed to be grounded for 2 weeks and chan a week

dino-saur well,,,

memegyu the author felt bad for grounding them and needs more characters to bring more plot in so she decided to unground them early

mother what

memegyu what?

therock tbh i've been here the whole time 

therock just not texting so mj and jinwoo wouldn't yell at me

mother :(

father not angry just disappointed

tallbeagle i have been asleep for the past two days!!!!

angelface what a beautiful child

memegyu so precious

dkcountryreturns sanha i love u

HOSH tbh me too

tallbeagle awh :3 u guys r making me blush

puppycat mhm minhyuk's getting a little red too

therock nO Im NOt

chachawoo i smelled jealously what's happening

woozi lol

minghoe tbh feel bad for minghyuk bc sanha is Pure and Beautiful and it's hard not to love him

tallbeagle but it's okay because i love minghyuk very very much!! :D

therock SAnHA I LoVE OU

tallbeagle <3

minghoe sigh i wish i had someone like that ://

minghoe but atleast i have a crush!!

whatwoo hao ur actually admitting to having a crush

minghoe lmao yeah it's true

memegyu awh r u gonna confess in the chat?!?!

angelface JOSH IT'S HAPPENING

joshed leMME GET MY CAMARA

dad Come on Minghao! Let's hear the confession.

minghoe lol!

minghoe what are you guys talking about? they aren't in this chat you silly ppl

goodgemini what.

memegyu WHAT

HOSH oh shit

dkcountryreturns I HAVE ANXIETY PLS DONT LET THIS BE HAPPENING

woozi um

chachawoo okay i'm confused

mother oh no

joshed haha! ur right hao silly us! so who's your crush?

minghao i'll tell u ;3

minghao so he's tall and chinese

goodgemini pls continue

minghoe he's a very good dancer and singer :))

dino-saur tell us more!!

minghoe he's older than me and he's hilarious- not to mention he's a total visual :3

minghoe he's also acted in chinese films!

minghoe i'm getting very close with him!

dad So, um, what's his name?

minghoe oh! haha i forgot to tell you guys!

minghoe his name is Zhang Yixing! But I call him Lay :)

hitthekwan yo guys is junhui okay i think he just left the dorm

angelface just let him be kwannie

therock :/

joshed we're happy to here about this guy haohao! hopefully it goes well for you two!

minghoe thanks jisoo!!

 

 

joshed created a new chatroom

joshed named chatroom ' save junhao 2k17 '

joshed added 17 users

 

17 users entered chatroom

 

joshed junhui, r u okay

goodgemini of course i'm okay why would i not be fucking okay jisoo

angelface jun, we just want to care for you

father if it makes you feel any better, this lay guy sounds scarily close to you

goodgemini i never even said i liked minghao okay?

goodgemini i've met yixing before,, he's such a great dude

goodgemini like, he's actually perfect

goodgemini not a single flaw

goodgemini of course hao would like him, who wouldn't

dino-saur jun hyung we think you're perfect too!!

chachawoo junhui i guarantee that if minghao knew you liked him, he'd be okay with it

puppycat tbh if i wasn't in love with dongmin i'd date u

chachawoo and visa versa !

dad I think Minghao is trying to find a replacement for you.

goodgemini haha funny joke seungcheol

verdone jun maybe u should start hinting to hao that you're interested

woozi yeah,, u don't really show ur emotions that well so there's a likely chance that he doesn't even know you like him

HOSH jihoon r u actual lecturing someone one showing their emotions

woozi >:(

mother ANYWAY jun maybe you should see if yixing is actually interested in minghao as well

father and if he isn't, try and see if when he and minghao hang out, he can try and make u look good

joshed and if worst comes to worst we can get u a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" and make minghao jealous 

goodgemini ,,, i like that

angelface damnit jisoo that soundslike a terrible idea

dkcountryreturns i think it would work though!!

dino-saur guys we shoul go back to the original chat so minghao isn't suspicious of all of us being inactive at once!

 

 

18 users exited chatroom

18 users entered chatroom ' kyla massie protection squad 2k17 '

goodgemini changed joshed username to ' jisooschrist ' 

verdone changed chatroom name to ' OT19 '

 

 

HOSH guys we should go to that cafe that hao's boy toy works at and have a huge date

HOSH like everyone is with their bf's 

goodgemini or gf's

dkcountryreturns ya that sounds fun!!

whatwoo i'm up for it

minghoe ha ha ha ya ! fun !

jisooschrist we can plan that later, right now seventeen we need to leave

angelface jisoo booked us time at the local studio so we can test out the recording tech!!

chachawoo u guys should come to astro next time!! i can book u a slot!!

woozi cha eunwoo i love u

hitthekwan also look jisoo and jeonnghan's users kinda match 

hitthekwan jesus and angel ahhaha

verdone jisoos christ blesses us with recording studio time

dad Couple goals.

dino-saur when dad approves

memegyu [image] look at this pic of jihoon staring at dad's ass 

woozi kim mingyu i am going to actually kill you in your sleep 

dad Okay! Time to go kids!

father lol good luck

 

 

~

 

 

private chat with minghoe and layspotatochips

 

minghoe YIXING WE HAVE A PROBLEM MY FRIENDS WANT TO MEET U NEXT WEEK

layspotatochips ye so?

minghoe I JUST TOLD THEM THE LIE ABOUT ME LIKING U

minghoe AND JUNHUI KNOWS

minghoe HE BARELY EVEN REACTED

layspotatochips my dude,,, it's okay,,, we can just make him jealous when they come next week

minghoe ohh good idea!!  

layspotatochips also it's good bc i heard ur friends w/ cha eunwoo and i want to get an autograph to give to joonmyun

minghoe oh ya!! is suho ok w/ me pretending to like u?! i don't want him to be angry or jealous :((

layspotatochips no my dude,, he hella ships u and junhui and wants u to be together,,, this is with his full consent lmao

minghoe heehe good! i look forward to next week then!

layspotatochips lmao sounds good /babe/

minghoe :))))

 

 

 

goodgemini entered ' save junhui 2k17 '

 

 

goodgemini y'all i think i'll bring a girl,,, i don't like girls but i think that will make things more spicy ye?

goodgemini i feel like hao will be more spooked :0

memegyu ur so evil jun

memegyu i like that

 

 

 

Chapter Text

HOSH TODAY IS THE DAY

dkcountryreturns WHERE WE GET TO MEET LAY

hitthekwan WHO IS HAOHAO'S NEW BAE

woozi this will definitely go astray

dad But it will all be okay!

dino-saur it will also be gay!

angelface there'll be drama, by the way

jisooschrist wait are we going to a cafe?

minghoe we are!! anyway,,

goodgemini i'm taking the chevrolet

minghoe not going with the rest of us? why won't you stay?

goodgemini i have to take the freeway

whatwoo  what he's trying to convey

memegyu is that he's bringing a girl to the gourmet

verdone for a date i daresay!

goodgemini i said i'd meet her halfway

jisooschrist we should arrive there midday

dino-saur i'm gonna get a parfait!

minghoe he he u guys sure u don't want subway?

minghoe u don't have to come if u don't want to, ok?

angelface nonsense! I want to see this lay that u have on display!

dad This will turn out fine, that I pray.

memegyu junhui bring ur girl a bouquet!

 

 

~

 

 

mother honestly how do they even do that

father that was the most satisfying this i've read 

tallbeagle hehe did u guys read it outloud like i did?

chachawoo honestly friendship goals

puppycat im shook

therock do you guys know who jun is bringing?

therock like ik he's bringing a girl but,, 

puppycat sSHHSHSHHH 

puppycat IM PMING U

 

private chat room with puppycat and therock

 

puppycat MINHYUK U CAN'T SAY ANYTHING IN THE MAIN CHAT BECAUSE MINGHAO IS IN IT

puppycat USE UR BRAIN BRO 

therock ok ok sorry dude i 4got

puppycat yo it's fine we just gotta keep the plan

puppycat he's bringing a girl,, zhou jieqiong?? u know her,, kyulkyung! she's chinese and in pristin, so she and jun are really close.. but only a few know this, and i heard this from dongmin, but she's gay as fuck so they def aren't together. she's been dating nayoung since before their debut so,,,

puppycat like only jun and probs seungcheol know

therock ohhhh ya kyulkyung is probably the best person for this then

puppycat ya but dude pls don't tell i don't need dongmin getting upset,,, it makes me upset when he's upset

therock disgusting,,,

puppycat rocky,, everytime sanha's name is even mentioned u freak out,,, pls

therock ,,,,,, no

puppycat ?? yes?

therock NO

puppycat y r u even my best friend

 

 

dino-saur created a new chatroom

dino-saur named chatroom ' updates on the septuple date + chan '

dino-saur added 6 users

 

 

dino-saur u guys should know what's going on!

dino-saur and also i'm the only one here without a significant other, fake or not so i might as well talk to u guys lol!

tallbeagle i would've been ur date chan :(

therock hahaha No You Wouldn't Have

chachawoo what's happened so far chan?

dino-saur so basically we get to the cafe and yixing meets us at the door, and minghao jumps in and hugs him (tbh it was really awkward but anyway)

dino-saur junhui isn't here yet, so lay brings us to a private room bc there's so many of us lol

mother sorry to interrupt but speaking of lots of people and private rooms

father myungjun in u say anything about a strip club i'm divorcing u

therock u guys aren't even MARRIED

puppycat ANYWAY

mother jinwoo shut up i was suggesting that all 19 of us go out for like a super nice dinner and dress up and shit

tallbeagle i like that idea!

dino-saur that sounds fun!! i'll ask mom and dad and mom and dad 

dino-saur but anyway we're sitting down and talking with lay, he's super nice and he keeps talking about his bestfriend suho a /lot/ so i see drama

dino-saur OAKOAK jun is here with kyulkyung from pristin and everyone is frEAKINgOUT

dino-saur bc we didn't know who he was bringing in and kyulkyung is kyulkyung so!!!!!!

dino-saur like jeonghan gasped out loud, wonwoo smiled, jihoon choked, hansol and seungkwan are pinching each other, seungcheol is just smirking???, mingyu is fanning himself, soonyoung just fake passed out into seokmin's lap and seokmin is trying to discreetly wipe away tears,, jisoo has his eyes closed- i think he's praying????

tallbeagle lol! i wonder what's gonna happen

mother im kinda sweating from this and i'm not even there

dino-saur ahh minghao is just not moving?? lay just tried to snap him out of it but minghao's eyes are like frozen on jun's hand on kyulkyung's waist

dino-saur okaokay so everyone's sat down and we're ordering brunch

puppycat i love brunch

chachawoo we should go out for brunch some time binnie!

puppycat PLS

dino-saur kyulkyung is introducing herself and jun is being v affectionate i'm kind of cringing

dino-saur OH SHIT NOW LAY IS BEING AFFECTIONATE WITH HAO

dino-saur IT'S LIKE A COMPETITION OF WHO'S THE CUTER COUPLE

dino-saur oh thank god i'm not the only one here uncomfortable 

dino-saur mingyu just lowkey gagged

dino-saur woozi and seungcheol are trying to distract themselves with tic tac toe 

chachawoo i'm shaking

father i literally just made myself some popcorn this is so entertaining

mother aren't u supposed to be recording,,

father ,,, yes

dino-saur wonwoo i'm pretty sure is sleeping

dino-saur jisoo and jeonghan are literally playing patty cake underneath the table WhAt Is HaPpEnInG

puppycat couple goals

therock are they kissing or what?

tallbeagle shhh minhyuk lolol

dino-saur only like pecks on the cheek from both couples, everyone looks so uncomf doing so tho

dino-saur our food is here thank gof

tallbeagle what did u get??

dino-saur who do u think i am of course i got french toast

tallbeagle hehe i know~~

mother by the way did u all eat this morning?? our manager wants us to eat every meal so we can stay healthy

chachawoo yup!

therock sanha and i had pancakes

puppycat ya i went out with sua today

mother jinwoo?

father ,,, i'm eating popcorn rn ,,,

mother god damn it jinwoo come over i'm making u a veggie omelette

dino-saur oh UM JUN LITERALLY JUST WHISPERED TO HIMSELF 'FUCK IT' APOLOGIZED TO KYULKYUNG AND KISSED HER STRAIGHT ON THE MOUTH

dino-saur EVERYONE IS SILENT

dino-saur KYULKYUNG LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GONNA VOMIT

dino-saur MINGHAO JUST RAN OUT OF THE ROOM

dino-saur JUN JUST RAN AFTER HIM

therock I NEED SOME AIR

puppycat I'M HYPERVENTILATING

mother MMHM THIS TEA

chachawoo IS THIS A DRAMA BC I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE READ THIS SCRIPT

father my popcorn bowl is refilled

dino-saur GUYS

dino-saur HOLY SHIT

dino-saur U WON'T BELIEVE THIS

dino-saur LAY IS EXPLAINING THAT HIM AND MINGHAO LIKING EACH OTHER WAS FAKE

dino-saur APPARENTLY MINGHAO THOUGHT JUN DIDN'T LIKE HIM SO HE WANTED TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS AND LAY IS ACTUALLY PERFECT AND KIND OF LIKE JUN SO THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE PERFECT

dino-saur AND KYULKYUNG IS EXPLAINING TO LAY THAT SHE'S ALSO NOT WITH JUN? SHE'S WITH NAYOUNG??

mother I KNEW THEY WERE TOO CLOSE TO BE PLATONIC

dino-saur JEONGHAN IS CRYING JISOO LITERALLY BROUGHT HIS CAMERA AND TRYING TO SNEAK PICTURES OF JUNHAO TALKING IT OUT WONWOO IS STILL ASLEEP JIHOON IS LITERALLY JUST EATING HIS BREAKFAST LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED THIS IS WILD

dino-saur VERKWAN AND SOONSEOK ARE TRADING MONEY I THINK THEY BET ON THIS

tallbeagle who won?

dino-saur verkwan!! they bet that junhao were both trying to make eachother jealous and soonseok thought that lay and hao really had a thing

dino-saur turns out lay's best friend suho is actually his boyfriend, and it was his idea for lay to help minghao because he ships mingao and jun together lololol

puppycat who doesn't ship them together though,,,

father they are such a Great Ship

chachawoo lolol china line of seventeen,, 

dino-saur JUNHAO ARE BACK

dino-saur AND HOLDING HANDS

dino-saur EVERYONE IS CLAPPING

dino-saur FINALLY 

therock MY ANXIETY IS CURED MY CROPS ARE HARVESTED CLIMATE CHANGE IS SOLVED GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN SOUTH KOREA MY EYELINER IS SHARP MY WIG IS SNATCHED MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

mother mmhm that was enough drama to keep me satisfied for at most 2 days :)

father mj u scare me sometimes

mother i love u

 

 

~

 

 

' OT19 '

 

 

goodgemini hello :)

dino-saur btw guys i updated astro bois about everything that happened so they know all!!

tallbeagle CONGRATS GUYS I'VE SHIPPED IT SINCE DAY 1!!!! :D

chachawoo minghao!! glad u got ur man!!

minghoe THANK U CHA EUNWOO IT MEANS A LOT

father where's the rest of u guys?

goodgemini they literally all fell asleep in the car bc of the 'sheer amount of drama that took place in under 45 minutes' 

minghoe so we left them in the car

minghoe they'll wake up soon

goodgemini hopefully not

 

 

~

 

 

hitthekwan do u guys know that some companies literally have children recruiters?

HOSH lol what?

chachawoo my company has done that, the kids have parents in the business so they send their kids to school or to a playground and scout talented children so the trainees can start as soon as possible? it's kinda weird

hitthekwan bc this 15 year old just came up to me when i was at panera eating my mac and cheese and handed me a business card saying she's seen the seventeen youtube videos and her company wants to quickly train and debut us? she said that we all are very talented and becoming a boy group would make us very successful?!?

dad Seungkwan, what company?!?

hitthekwan Pledis? it sounds v familiar

verdone babe,,,, that's pristin's and nu'est's label,,,, holy shit

angelface KWANNIE GIVE ME THE BUSINESS CARD

jisooschrist y'all if we sign with them we don't have to rent out that crappy studio,,,

tallbeagle PLEASEDEBUT

puppycat u guys will have to train,, but since u have experience it may be short?? like u already have a fanbase so they might be eager to debut u

father i think i guys should do it! the entertainment business is tiring but rewarding!!

mother i think you should do it well,, but u have to be careful

mother the pd's will be okay with fanservice and skinship, but u guys have to be ok with hiding that ur in relationships. U also have to appeal to ur female audience, which means u twinks have to pretend like ur straight. also be prepared to be shipped w/ ppl who are not ur significant other and try not to make things awkward? also stay away from scandals bc those are the worst and will haunt u forever no joke

mother but other than that u guys should totally debut you guys would kill it!!

woozi CHEOL WE NEED TO DO THIS I HAVE SO MUCH MUSIC WRITTEN THAT COULD BE USED

dkcountryreturns ive always wanted to travel across the world,, if we get popular enough we can tour all different places

whatwoo we'd have enough money to easier pay for rent and groceries,,

verdone plS

HOSH I'M SHAKING THIS IS CRAZY

dino-saur guys!!!!! this is unreal!!!!!

memegyu i call being the visual

angelface try me mingyu,,,

memegyu secOND VISUAL

jisooschrist i'm calling the number that they gave to kwan

minghoe  im trembling

goodgemini iM CALLING MY MOM

dad Guys, let's not get too excited. We don't even know if they'll actually sign us, so let's not get our hopes up.

jisooschrist boys

angelface i'm sorry 

dino-saur oh no :(

woozi oh

whatwoo so much for groceries

jisooschrist BUT THEY SAID THEY'LL HAVE US IN THE OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY TO SIGN US A CONTRACT 

jisooschrist WE'LL TRAIN FOR 1-2 MONTHS JUST TO LEARN HOW TO BE AN IDOL BC WE ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SING AND DANCE AND THEN WE'LL DEBUT

HOSH I'M ACTUALLY SOBBING

dkcountryreturns BBY WE'RE DOING IT

tallbeagle YAYYY GUYS I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

therock WE'RE COMING OVER

mother WE'RE BRINGING CHAMPAGNE

father CHILDREN U CAN HAVE A LITTLE JUST BECAUSE WE'RE CELEBRATING

verdone I CAN'T BREATHE

memegyu THIS DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT IS NO WAY POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO TRAIN SO LITTLE AND DEBUT SO FAST BUT THE AUTHOR WANTED MORE EXCITEMENT TO THE PLOT SO SHE BENT REALITY SORRY BUT YAY SEVENTEEN AS AN IDOL GROUP

whatwoo what

memegyu what?

dad GUYS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING 

dad MAKE SURE TO CALL UR FAMILIES AND TELL THEM THE NEWS

hitthekwan I CAN'T SEE THROUGH MY OWN TEARS

chachawoo i'm so happy for u guys!!!!!! we have to collab or something!!!!!

puppycat GOOD LUCK GUYS U GUYS ARE GONNA BE SUCH A SUCCESS I KNOW IT

 

 

~

 

 

hitthekwan ok i know it's like 3 am and everyone's asleep but,,,

hitthekwan bc we're going to be idols,,, this is the perfect to bring out my talent as the /variety master/

hitthekwan THE TSUNAMI SKIT IS GOING TO BE SO LIT JUST YOU WAIT

 

 

 

Chapter Text

whatwoo added 2 users to ' OT19 '

 

whatwoo guys

whatwoo whatever u do

whatwoo don't freak out

whatwoo pls

johnCOCK HELLO BITCHES

babyboi-min  *intense CL music*

minghoe is that

puppycat WHO I THINK IT IS

memegyu oh hey jeongguk hey jimin

johnCOCK yo gyu what's up

chachawoo oh hey guys!! y r u here?

babyboi-min hey eunwoo!! wonwoo added us! we wanted to congratulate seventeen!

tallbeagle OMG

therock um guys

therock bin just fainted

therock like he's literally unresponsive on the floor

HOSH YOYOYO JUNGKOOK WHAT IS UP MY MAN

HOSH THE NAME'S SOONYOUNG

HOSH UR A LEGEND

angelface omg park jimin u are so precious

babyboi-min :3333

angelface JISOO CAN WE ADOPT HIM

jisooschrist jeonghan he's the same age as us that wouldn't work

angelface I DON'T CARE HE'S ADORABLE

hitthekwan omg jimin sunbaenim

babyboi-min omg boo seungkwan

hitthekwan :,)

hitthekwan your vocals,,, are so good,,, i love u

babyboi-min but seungkwan,, YOUR vocals,,, are so good,,, i love U

verdone ahem hello i am hansol vernon chwe,, seungkwan's boyfriend 

johnCOCK ahem i believe jimin is taken, seungkwan

dad I don't understand how jealously somehow breaks this chat platform, it's amazing.

dino-saur ahhh hey jimin hyung and jeongguk hyung

goodgemini HOW DO U KNOW LIKE EVERY IDOL

mother it's because he's absolutely adorable and when he was out with us at astro ent. we couldn't help but introduce him to idols

father everyone loves him no matter what

dkcountryreturns that's so true

verdone sorry jungkook, seungkwan would never go after another dude's man- even if he wasn't dating me

johnCOCK dude, same with jimin,, it's all cool,, bros?

verdone bros

puppycat i'm awake!!

puppycat and wow that was kinda beautiful ngl

puppycat ALSO HELLO JUNGKOOK SUNBAENIM I'M A HUGE FAN

minghoe he's literally an actual huge fan,, in their vlive's he's always singing ur parts and stuff

johnCOCK that was u??? moon bin??? dude ur amazing

puppycat THANK U SUNBAENIM I'M JUST GONNA GO GET A GLASS OF WATER BYE

therock he fainted again i'm just gonna go bring him to dongmin

chachawoo good idea 

whatwoo jeongguk u have like 45 minutes before i'm kicking u and jimin out

johnCOCK ANYWAY 

johnCOCK  the reason i was added was just bc i wanted to congratulate seventeen on signing with Pledis and starting training!!! once u guys debut we'll probably be seeing u alot more,  so i just wanted to meet u and say hi and stuff

johnCOCK also our bts gc is super dead because everyone just sleeps when we aren't promoting

babyboi-min it's true lol

memegyu speaking of sleeping

memegyu wonwoo u need to lay on my bed again

whatwoo y

memegyu bc it's starting not to smell of u :(

woozi yikes that's gay

dad Jihoon, you're gay.

memegyu jihoon stfu we're all gay

babyboi-min rly?

goodgemini no joke, everyone in this chat is gay for eachother except for chan

dino-saur hee hee

tallbeagle it's okay chan!! u don't need a partner to be happy! <3

angelface JISOO HOW ABOUT ADOPTING SANHA HE'S ADORABLE

mother ahem

angelface :( sorry myungjun he's just so cute

mother he is isn't he

johnCOCK wait that's actually insane

johnCOCK how does it happen that everyone is gay for each other ( minus chan)

therock idek maybe the gay gods looked down on us one day and was like 'hey they look pretty gay' so one day they said fuck it and changed fate so we would all end up friends with eachother in the end

verdone thank u gay gods

minghoe #blessed

father if it makes things more clear, we can tell u who's together? 

dad Good idea Jinwoo. Chan how about you tell Jeongguk and Jimin?

dino-saur okee!!

dino-saur  from ASTRO we have- jinwoo and myungjun (myungjin), dongmin and bin (binwoo), and minhyuk and sanha (socky)!!

jisooschrist honestly every astro ship is perfect

jisooschrist there are no flaws

woozi tbh so true

babyboi-min YES kookie pls remind me to get money from seokjin hyung bc he bet that moonrock was real but IM BINWOO AND SOCKY 24/7

therock being moon bin's best friend is hard i could never be his boyfriend

therock i honestly pity dongmin sometimes

chachawoo :( it's a tough life sometimes

puppycat OK RUDE

dino-saur and of seventeen!

HOSH babe this is our moment

dkcountryreturns our time to shine

HOSH babe you shine all the time with the adorable smile of yours <3

dkcountryreturns babe <3

minghoe gay

dino-saur we have jihoon and seungcheol (jicheol), jeonghan and jisoo (jihan), junhui and minghao (junhao), seokmin and soonyoung (soonseok), hansol aka vernon and seunkwan (verkwan), and lastly wonwoo and mingyu (meanie) ?????? idk really about meanie they are kinda unstable and we are working on the admitting feelings part but we definitely can prove from the sound that comes from their room occasionally that they are sexually active

memegyu okay CHAN that's quite ENOUGH don't you THINK

whatwoo wow suddenly i have a thing at the thing that the thing invited me to goodbye

johnCOCK SIPS TEA

johnCOCK mingyu is he good in bed

memegyu JUNGKOOK

johnCOCK no seriously i need to know if he's better in bed than me 

johnCOCK it's for science

babyboi-min i think ur great in bed kook

mother OKAY BOYS WE HAVE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

tallbeagle lol i just turned 17!

angelface I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB YOU'RE SO SMOL

dino-saur he's even younger than me lol!

tallbeagle i'm still taller than most of you though!

woozi wow ok

puppycat did

puppycat did he just casually roast more than half of this chatroom

jisooschrist im cry ing

goodgemini ahhhh

dad Guys, the only person here who is taller than him is Mingyu. 

memegyu hah losers

tallbeagle u have my respect mingyu hyung

memegyu u sEE THAT LOSERS I HAVE YOON SANHA'S RESPECT THIS IS THE HIGHEST POINT OF MY LIFE

HOSH minhyuk how does it feel dating a giant

therock don't talk to me im brooding

tallbeagle :((( minhyukkie 

therock brooding?!??! who's she!??!?! i love having a tall boyfriend!!!!!

tallbeagle :)))

verdone the effect that sanha has on everyone is slightly disconcerting but u know what it's ok

johnCOCK ya dude if i wasn't dating jiminie i'd probably go for sanha

therock oKAY LISTEN UP

whatwoo OKAY HYUNGS IT'S TIME TO LEAVE SAY GOODBYE AU REVOIR ANNYEONG SAYONARA ADIOS 

 

 

whatwoo has removed 2 users from ' OT19 '

 

 

whatwoo oops

puppycat honestly that was the best 45 minutes of my life

minghoe wild

jisooschrist y'all i always knew those two were together

woozi gay

dad JIHOON STOP

 

 

~

 

 

HOSH YALL

HOSH WE ARE DEBUTING NEXT WEEK

HOSH I JUST REALIZED 

woozi tbh i got a little choked up reading that

chachawoo i'm am so excited for you guys!! u guys are lucky u are training for so short

hitthekwan i am Suffering

hitthekwan I HAVEN'T EATEN A SLICE OF PIZZA IN LIKE 2 MONTHS

hitthekwan MY MANAGER IS MAKING ME FEEL SO BAD AS SHEs FORCING THESE GREEN LEAVES DOWN MY THROAT

father do u mean lettuce

hitthekwan YES

hitthekwan i DONT SEE ANYONE ELSE DIETING LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS 

hitthekwan LIKE YEAH I GET IT I'M CHUBBY BUT GIVE ME SOME PEACE :( IT'S LIKE I NEED TO CHANGE MY WHOLE BEING TO DEBUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT ANYMORE

angelface kwannie :(( u aren't chubby! and you belong with us!!!!!!!

jisooschrist your body is perfect just the way it is!

hitthekwan tell that to manager-nim :(((

HOSH kwannie we wouldn't be SVT without you!!

woozi seungkwan your vocals are one of the reasons we got signed in the first place

minghoe you're our moodmaker!!

dad Seungkwan, please don't ever put yourself down like that. We all love you just the way you are, and you shouldn't take what our manager and the company says to heart. We would not be who we are today without you.

mother I know that the staff can really be harsh, but like seungcheol said, don't take it too personally

tallbeagle please don't let them change you seungkwan!! you are amazing how you are now!!

chachawoo this is just the beginning of your journey through fame and media,, you will get criticism from many, but learning how to and getting over than and learning how to ignore it and move on it a lovely trait to have. you're wonderful seungkwan, fighting!!!

dkcountryreturns kwan we would be so lost without u :((

whatwoo we would be hilariously unfunny without u 

memegyu you're our boo boo seungkwan

father stay strong little bro

dino-saur :((((( kwan pls keep doing what you're doing,, i'll sneak u in some pepero

verdone listen when I say I love u, boo seungkwan, I mean that I will do everything I can to make sure that you becomes the star that you deserve to be and be appreciated by everyone for your talent, personality, looks, everything,,, you are my best friend and if you quit, i'll quit because i just can't do this without u,, you're so easy going and a lovely person even though sometimes u annoy but in all that just makes me love u more,, you have the most beautiful heart and i wouldn't be who i am today without you seungkwan so please take care of yourself and come to me whenever you're feeling down because i can't stand it when you're sad i love you

therock is anyone else crying because i am

angelface i love my children so much this is the most lovely thing i have ever witness jisoo get me some tissues my eyes are leaking i've never been so proud to be parents what's wrong with me

dad Hansol that was the nicest thing you've ever texted/said/done. I'm proud.

woozi even i'm crying what the fuck

memegyu same and guys the author didn't mean for this to get all serious but then she was just thinking of boo seungkwan and how under appreciated he is and hoe he deserves the world and she accidently started tearing up while vernon was confessing how much he cares for kwan and now she's a mess

dino-saur what

memegyu what?

hitthekwan CHWE HANSOL COME TO MY ROOM AND BRING TISSUES AND LIKE 8 ROMCOMS AND MAYBE SOME POPCORN BECAUSE UR NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM FOR ATLEASY 12 HOURS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO BURST

hitthekwan ALSO THE REST OF YOU THANK U SM I AM SO TOUCHED AND I LOVE YOU ALL AS WELL

angelface we love u!! <3

 

 

~

 

 

angelface guys have u seen jisoo?

angelface i just woke up and he isn't in our bed? but he usually sleeps in later than me? especially since we debuted he's been sleeping like a rock,,,

dad I haven't seen him, did you check the living room and the kitchen?

dkcountryreturns i've been in both this morning and he wasn't there

goodgemini he isn't at the gym downstairs either

HOSH he's not in the bathroom bc i'm currently in the bathroom lol

dino-saur maybe he went for a walk? 

verdone i don't think so,, usually he takes his guitar with him so he can play for the people at the park

chachawoo what a sweet human being

whatwoo he isn't anywhere near the lobby of our apartment?

memegyu also not at the grocery store, i was just there to get stuff to restock the fridge

woozi did u get yogurt

memegyu ya

woozi good

angelface THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOGURT MY BOYFRIEND IS MISSING AND I'M PANICKING

hitthekwan mom please calm down

angelface I CAN'T WHAT IF HE'S LOST WHAT IF HE'S HURT WHAT IF HE'S CHEATING ON ME THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

dad Jeonghan, Joshua would never cheat on you. He loves you too much.

angelface IDK?? DID U SEE THE WAY WINWIN FROM NCT WAS LOOKING AT HIM AT SHOW CHAMPION?? WINWIN IS ADORABLE OF COURSE JISOO WOULD GO TO HIM

mother jeonghan, please calm down. would u like to come to our dorm for some tea? it would calm your nerves

dino-saur also winwin looks at taeyong like he's the sun so i don't think he's likely to have an affair with ur boyfriend mom lol

father minhyuk and i can go out and look for joshua if u want as well

minghoe i just found his phone on the counter, but his laptop is gone

angelface OH GOD DID SOMEONE IDOL-NAP HIM LAST TIME AND TAKE HIS LAPTOP AS WELL?!?!?!?

mother ooohkay jeonghan we are coming over to pick u up and ur going to take a nice bath okay? i have vanilla incense and bath salts that you're gonna love

angelface :(( ok,,,

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist omg guys im at the starbucks that is like a 10 minute walk away from our apartment,,, my mom emailed me and i wanted to sit down for a bit and relax with a coffee while i talked to her,, jeonghannie i even woke you up to tell u i was leaving,,, i'm fine guys don't worry hahaha i can text on my macbook so u still could've contacted me even though i left my phone at home

angelface i thought u were DEAD :(( i was going to vlive crying and have the fans have a memorial for you,,, :((

jisooschrist hannie :,) i'm fine,, you're so dramatic

angelface i hate u :((((

jisooschrist i love you <3333

angelface ,,,,

angelface i love u too <3333

dino-saur our family is so problematic,,, but ily guys <3

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

chachawoo guys thanks for agreeing to come meet us in the city!!

tallbeagle i'm so excited to see u guys again!

verdone yo i was promised food

hitthekwan ur so classy hansol

dad Where are we meeting?

mother how about the mcdonalds down the street from our building? we can get food while we mingle

minghoe IM GETTING 5 MCFLURRIES NO ONE CAN STOP ME

goodgemini can i have one 

minghoe haahaha

minghoe NO

goodgemini sometimes i wonder if we're actually dating

minghoe sorry babe

minghoe NO <3

therock i'm broke can someone buy me food

father minhyuk u are in no way broke

tallbeagle i'll buy u food hyuk!!

mother SANHA DON'T LET HIM ABUSE UR MONEY FOR THIS

angelface SAVE IT FOR COLLEGE

woozi cheol can u buy me fries

dad Sure, Jihoon.

woozi thanks <3

therock why can seungcheol buy jihoon food but sanha can't buy me food?

whatwoo well he's the dad he can whatever he wants

puppycat and sanha is younger than you and more precious and u have more money than him u should be buying HIM food

tallbeagle minhyuk can u buy me an icecream sundae!?!? it has hot fudge!!!!!!

therock ,,,,, of course sanha

tallbeagle :D !!!! <333

dkcountryreturns we are on our way!!

 

 

~

 

 

HOSH guys sorry i left i'm having a craving for hot cheetos

dino-saur soonyoung u can't stand hot or spicy things??

HOSH idek hot cheetos r addicting and i can't stop eating them even though i'm in pain?

jisooschrist that is slightly concerning

dkcountryreturns where are u going?

HOSH idk i'm walking around the city looking for a store

chachawoo there's a drugstore like 2 minutes away, u should go there

angelface pls be safe 

woozi if someone tries to grab u bite them

minghoe or kick their dick

minghoe hahah that rhymed

dad Hopefully nothing will happen for it to get to that point.

father there's not much crime that happens around here so i think ur fine soonyoung

therock the only crime here is how gorgeous i look in skinny jeans ;) should be illegal how hot i am

mother im putting u up for adopting

mother and filing a restraining order so u can't go anywhere near sanha

tallbeagle :(

woozi cheol and i will take sanha no charge

mother I Think Not

angelface nice try jihoon if anyone was to get sanha from myungjun and jinwoo it would be me and jisoo

angelface can we be his godparents so if u guys suddenly die or something we can take him?

father that is a little frightening

mother dude sure

mother always need a backup plan

woozi seungcheol why are u best friends with jeonghan he's so mean to me:(

dad Sorry, can't control him. He's a beast.

angelface gasp jisoo baby defend me

jisooschrist but it's true? you can be v scary sometimes 

angelface :,(

jisooschrist but i love you for it with all my heart

angelface :,)

memegyu they really are a sappy married couple

memegyu just get married u hoes

jisooschrist ok

dkcountryreturns omg

puppycat woah plot twist

jisooschrist i mean, why not?? couples are getting married and having kids at our age anyway? i mean we'll be 22 soon

mother I HAVE TEARS

angelface jiSOO BABY

angelface I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AGAINST MARRIAGE 

hitthekwan MOM AND DAD !!!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING !!!!!

jisooschrist we'd have to go to the states for it to be legal,,, but my mom is there anyway? i mean if jeonghan is up for it i'm willing to basically have a secret marriage in the states lol

whatwoo my head is spinning what

angelface !?!?!?!? i

angelface yes ?!?!?!

HOSH um guys

HOSH i'm really sorry to interrupt bc i am so PUMPED if u guys get married but

HOSH i'm lost 

dkcountryreturns soonie it's been like an hour?!? r u safe?!?!

HOSH yeah? i think? i got like 8 bags of hot cheetos from a creepy gas station that a random bus took me to and idk where i am now

verdone soonyoung it's getting dark

dkcountryreturns oh good soonyoung

chachawoo can u look for street signs?

HOSH i'm walking down the street now, there's a sign like 100 meters down

tallbeagle yeah tell us what street you are on and we can tell you where u are and we can pick u up!!

angelface i'm putting u on house arrest soonyoung 

jisooschrist how about we just use the buddy rule,,

angelface amazing idea jisoo, you are wonderful <3333

HOSH ok i hate to interrupt mom and dad again but THERE IS A SMALL HUMANOID FIDURE FOLLOWING ME IN ALL BLACK AND I'M SCARED

memegyu /walk faster!!/

HOSH WHEN I SPEED UP THEY SPEED UP

HOSH OH GOD I'M AT A CROSSWALK AND THE LIGHTS GREEN IM CORNERED

HOSH WHAT IF THEY TAKE MY HOT CHEETOS

dkcountryreturns SOONYOUNG DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FOOD WORRY ABOUT UR SAFETY YOU DUMBASS

woozi oh shit seokmin just swore

dkcountryreturns I'M SORRY I'M STRESSED ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND'S SAFETY LEAVE ME ALONE

mother soonyoung can you tell us the street you're on

HOSH IT'S WASHINGTON AVENUE!?!?!?

father oh you're a ten minute drive away

father c'mon ppl get in the minivan

goodgemini ,,,, u have a minivan

minghoe ffs junhui don't car shame them when soonyoung may be in danger

goodgemini ,, ok ok

goodgemini but a minivan? a toyota? atleast get a honda odyssey ://

whatwoo jun there is something not right about that brain of yours

HOSH guYS THERRE TRYING TO COME CLODER I M DEAD

HOSH I LVOE YOU GWUYS AND AT MY FUNERAL WEAR RAINBOW SO EVERYONE KNOWS I'M GAY AS FUCK FOR LEE SEOKMIN AND THAN BURY ME IN HOT CHEETOS THTAV IS ALL I ASK FOR

woozi USE SELF DEFENSE GOD DAMNIT SOONYOUNG

tallbeagle we are on our way!!!! just wait a bit!!!!!

dkcountryreturns SOONYOUNG BBY DON'T SAY THAT YOU'LL BE FINE WE'RE JUST AROUND THE CORNER

dino-saur this is scary!!!! soonyoung hyung pls be ok!

angelface MY BABY HE WILL BE FINE DON'T WORRY

jisooschrist my uncle's a priest he can probably lead ur funeral

mother JISOO

angelface JISOO I LOVE U BUT STFU WE DON'T NEED A FUNERAL

HOSH my dudes,,,, it's all good,,,

dkcountryreturns oh god they drugged him didn't they

HOSH no guys

HOSH it literally is just an emo teenage fan

HOSH she's like 15 and awkward but she's adorable

memegyu r u serious

woozi r u saying we packed all these people in the car for u to be stopped by an emo fan

woozi there are 5 of us in the trunk

dino-saur hehe i think it's fun being in the trunk

woozi chan pls shut up i'm trying to be annoyed

whatwoo u don't have to try that hard

woozi suddenly being annoyed is easier thx wonwoo for ur input

minghoe soonyoung what's happening??

HOSH we are j-chilling and i'm giving her my autograph

HOSH y'all,,, my first autograph!!! 

angelface so annoyed,,, yet still so proud,,,,

jisooschrist guess i should stop writing my email to my uncle,,

goodgemini /YES U SHOULD/

verdone this was wild

verdone also i can't feel my legs bc seungkwan's ass bones are dabbing into them

chachawoo oh ?

verdone *jabbing

hitthekwan hansollie the j and the d are not even near each other on the keyboard u fake ass hoe

verdone shhhh

hitthekwan ur lucky u have a nice dick

mother WE HAVE CHILDREN PRESENT

woozi GDI VERKWAN KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM

dad We're here Soonyoung. Get in the car.

puppycat doesn't seungcheol sound more aggressive than he actually is with his perfect grammar? like he sounds so annoyed but he really isn't?!!?

angelface u get used to it 

angelface he's just old and boring tbh

dad As you can see, I have the nicest best friend.

angelface ily2 cheollie <3

dad -.-

goodgemini holy shit

memegyu guys we are witnessing history being born

therock what's happenign what

woozi seungcheol has never typed an emoji before this minute

woozi honestly so proud

woozi probs will give u some real good head for this one cheol

hitthekwan GDI JICHEOL KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM

woozi seungkwan if i wasn't stuck in the trunk with these 4 other losers i'd whoop ur sorry ass

dino-saur jihoon hyung :((((

minghoe excuse me binch

therock what

angelface how dare u call my boyfriend a loser

jisooschrist hannie chill nothing jihoon says to me even registers bc i don't comprehend irrelevant things

dad Yikes.

woozi ur lucky u are who u are hong jisoo

HOSH anyone want some hot cheetos

 

 

~

 

 

HOSH YALL

HOSH HOLY SHIT

HOSH I KNOW JISOO HAS ACTUALLY BEEN DOING WHEN HE LEAVES THE HOUSE SO EARLY IN THE MORNINGS

HOSH IM LAHGIN SO HRAD

angelface lol what?

mother SPILL THE TEA BITCH

tallbeagle mommy please calm down

whatwoo how do u even know in the first place

HOSH HE LEFT HIS LAPTOP OPEN AND UNLOCKED WHEN HE FELL ASLEEP

chachawoo what does he do?!

HOSH SO U KNOW EVER SINCE WE DEBUTED WE'VE BEEN RELEASING VLOGS AND SHIT AND WE'VE BEEN GOING ON VARIETY SHOWS????

memegyu um ya we've been there

puppycat i'm so awkward on variety shows kms

hitthekwan DID SOMEBODY SAY VARIETY BC THAT IS MY SHIT

father seungkwan u actually are the king of variety ur freaking hilarious

hitthekwan ;)

HOSH GUYS JISOO IS A TRANSLATER YOUTUBER

HOSH HE TRANSLATES ALL OUR CONTENT INTO ENGLISH FOR INT. FANS

HOSH HE'S HELLA FAMOUS TOO?!?!?! OVER 50,000 FOLLOWERS

woozi lol who even

dad That seems very tiring...

angelface that's so cute!

HOSH IT GETS BETTER

HOSH HIS USERNAME IS 'jihan is canon <333 :333 uwu'

memegyu BHAHAHAH

HOSH HE MAKES EDITS OF HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP

HOSH AND OUR RELATIONSHIPS TOO!?!?!?

HOSH HE MAKES UCKING CRACK VIDEOS AS WELL IM SHITIGN

verdone THERE ARE TEARS INMY EYES FROM LAUHGIN

dkcountryreturns SOONYOUNG U SLY DOG U

angelface SEND THE LINK I'M WATCHING ECERY VIDEO

angelface IM NOT EVEN ASHAMED

angelface YALL THIS IS THE MAN I'M GONNA MARRY AND I'M NOT EVEN SORRY

angelface HES SUCH A CHEESEBALL I LOVE HIM

minghoe ,,,, a cheeseball

woozi jeonghan amazes me,, if seungcheol pulled shit like this i'd be so embarassed /for him/ that i wouldn't be able to look at him lol

dad Good to know,,,

mother SEnD tHE lINK THIS IS SO SPICY

father mj u need to chill bb

chachawoo does jisoo even know u exposed him lol

HOSH nope lololol he'll wake up later and be horrified

tallbeagle poor jisoo :(

angelface yoon sanha ur so precious, jisoo will be fine bc i'll make it fine ;)

dad OKAY WELL ON THAT NOTE

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist i just woke up,, hwhat did i miss

jisooschrist oh

jisooschrist fuck

HOSH HAHASHAHA JIHAN IS CANON

jisooschrist u know what,,,

jisooschrist not even ashamed :)

 

 

~

 

 

therock wait jisoo can u teach me how to do that

therock i thnk the world deserves more socky content

father no it doesn't

therock piss off old man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

dad ok

dad i am so upset that i cant even bother with grammar rn

woozi cheol r u good

mother um this can't be good

dad kim samuel, this 15 year old boy who was with us when we first even made out youtube channel,,, who left us for bigger and better things because he is such a talented boy,,, 

dad was on produce 101 and FOR SOME IMPOSSIBLE REASON GOT 18TH!?!?!?! DIDN'T DEBUT?!?!?! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON THOUGHT HE'D DEBUT

dad I WENT TO THE FINAL!!!! I HAD TO WATCH THIS BOY TRY NOT TO CRY AS HIS LOSS WAS FILMED ON LIVE TELEVISION,, EVERYONE WAS HYPED UP FOR HIM TO DEBUT,,,

dad LIKE JEONGHAN AND JISOO ARE LIKE HALF THE PEOPLE IN THIS CHAT'S "PARENTS" BUT SAMUEL I COULD CONSIDER AS MY CHILD AND MY HEART IS BREAKING FOR HIM

tallbeagle he didn't debut?!?!?!

father dude it's because mnet is a racist piece of shit,, i bet the only reason he didn't debut is because he's half-mexican

dino-saur sammy didn't get in top 11?!? ;~;

verdone i'm actually crying

goodgemini the video of him almost crying is spreading across social media like a wildfire

memegyu muel deserves so much better ://

angelface i can't believe mnet and knetizen's slept on him like this,,, cheollie i know how close you were with muellie... please cheer him up

father >:0

minghoe did u see mnet accidently posted the original final lineup and samuel was on it? idek but they apologized and shit but people are saying that muel was supposed to debut!?!!?

dad i NEED AN ANGRY BATH

woozi can i join

dad FINE 

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist um guys 

jisooschrist i lost junhui and minghao

mother how can u lose ur own children

tallbeagle myungjun hyung you /really/ shouldn't be talking lol! :D

mother ,,, my child,,, please

goodgemini u should've been actually watching us instead of sitting in the manga section of newbury comics u nerd

minghoe y don't you find us jisoo ;)

jisooschrist are u literally asking me to play hide and seek with u two in the mall

minghoe yes

jisooschrist ok im coming

goodgemini this is why jisoo is my favorite

verdone D:

goodgemini u aren't even on my top 5 hansol

minghoe what about me :(

goodgemini you're too good to even be on the list

goodgemini you're like,, better than one,,, you're my 0

minghoe awh i think <3

mother honestly by the way junhui thinks, you'd think he'd be a natural blond

whatwoo you just insulted all the blonds ever born comparing them to jun

goodgemini wonwoo who hurt you

whatwoo YOU DID WHEN YOU USED THE LAST OF THE ORANGE JUICE AND PUT THE CONTAINER BACK

whatwoo I KNOW IT WAS YOU DON'T EVEN LIE

whatwoo I BET YOU EVEN BRUSHED UR TEETH RIGHT BEFORE

whatwoo BC UR JUST EVIL LIKE THAT

minghoe he totally brushed his teeth before

minghoe idk the only explanation is that he's a gemini ://

goodgemini /GOOD/ GEMINI

goodgemini GOOD

chachawoo junhui you brush your teeth before you drink orange juice, there is no possible way for you to be 'good'

goodgemini CHA EUNWOO PLS

HOSH ikr that's kind of deisgusting

goodgemini it doesn't taste bad!!!!

minghoe ur lucky i love you

goodgemini i love you too

therock cute

puppycat minhyuk brushes his teeth before drinking orange juice too

tallbeagle ew

therock BIN WHY DO YOU TRY TO RUIN MY LIFE 

puppycat ha ha Suffer

jisooschrist can you give me a hint i've been searching for twenty minutes

angelface jisoo i bet our future marriage that you haven't even left newbury comics yet

jisooschrist welp the marriage is still on ppl

minghoe we are,,, on the left half of the mall!

dad You do realize the mall is one of the biggest in Korea, right? It could take Josh like 2 hours to search every store only on the left...

goodgemini you're pretty slow aren't you seungcheol hyung

dad Do you want to lose your mirror privileges?

goodgemini I'M SORRY DAD FORGIVE ME

chachawoo mirror privileges?

dino-saur since junhui hyung loves his reflection so much the worst punishment to him and not being able to see himself in a mirror,, when we gets in trouble we take down all the mirrors in the house and everyone has a personal mirror except him lol

father we need this for myungjun

mother I NEED THE DIVORCE PAPERS

therock GDI YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN MARRIED

jisooschrist guys i've checked half of the stores so far,,, i'm stopping for boba tea bc i'm kinda out of breath 

tallbeagle jisoo hyung fighting!!!

jisoochrist thanks sanha <3

angelface u sure u don't wanna adopt him,,

mother jeonghan stop trying to adopt my child

angelface :(

goodgemini minghao why did u leave me

minghoe i wanna buy you something 

goodgemini awh

goodgemini wait

goodgemini now i have to buy u something

goodgemini ur lucky i love you and brought my wallet

minghoe  <333333

dkcountryreturns soonyoung can u buy me something? <3

HOSH i would babe <3 but i'm currently penniless

puppycat you guys actually have jobs as idols now, you should have money?!?

HOSH ahehehhe,,, i 

HOSH i spent all of my past 2 paychecks,,,

memegyu ON WHAT!?!?

HOSH ,,,,,

HOSH SHINee merch

HOSH SHINee tickets

HOSH lee taemin's sock

HOSH kim kibum's glasses?

HOSH idk lots of stuff

hitthekwan can i touch the sock

HOSH if u wear gloves,,,

hitthkwan deal

woozi i wonder about soonyoung's sanity sometimes

father can i come to SHINee with you

HOSH why not

father my dude,,, thank

HOSH ;)

goodgemini lonely by sistar came on in H&M and now i'm hiding in clothing racks to hide that i'm crying

hitthekwan we've all been there...

memegyu UM NO WE HAVEN'T SEUNGKWAN R U OK

hitthekwan excuse me you didn't leave your room for 3 days after 2ne1 broke up

whatwoo hah mingyu what a loser

hitthekwan don't even get me started wonwoo let me list some names: 4minute, wonder girls, c-clown, kara, lc9,  even ioi lol u can't talk 

whatwoo i have a meeting bye

jisooschrist JUNHAO STOP SHOPPING I CAN'T FIND U

minghoe we're done!! we've met up already

goodgemini i am offended

goodgemini i thought hao was going to be a good boyfriend and buy me something sentimental so i bought him this super expensive watch and some classy hair product, and u know what he got me,,, A HAT WITH DEVIL EARS THAT SAYS GEMINI ON THE FRONT

minghoe thanks for the presents babe!!!!

jisooschrist wait

jisooschrist i hear junhui whining

minghoe shit

jisooschrist founD U BITCHES

angelface don't call your children bitches jisoo 

jisooschrist FOUND YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS

angelface oh god just use bitches

goodgemini i wouldn't be whining if minghao was a /good boyfriend/

minghoe don't worry junhui i'll give you your real present tonight ;)

memegyu i just vommed a bit

jisooschrist JESUS CHRIST STOP MAKING OUT I WANNA GO HOME AND READ

puppycat don't u mean,,, Jisoos Christ

verdone our lord and savior

mother Gaymen

woozi don't you mean Amen?

mother no

 

 

~

 

 

dkcountryreturns um

dkcountryreturns did i just witness moon bin kiss cha eunwoo straight on the lips on live television

minghoe oh shit

HOSH IT'S REAL

HOSH I JUST WITNESSED IT

HOSH THE WHOLE SHOW IS FREAKING OUT

HOSH BINWOO JUST CAME OUT ON LIVE TELEVISION IN SOUTH KOREA

angelface this /really/ is not going to turn out well,,,,

 

 

~

 

 

chachawoo guys i think i fucked up 

mother YOU THINK

puppycat dongmin :(

woozi u got real guts lee dongmin

 

 

 

 

father sorry we haven't updated you guys

father our manager has us on lockdown in our house for a while as shit calms down

father we're cut off the social media and basically the world

father but u guys should still be able to contact us i think

dad How is everybody holding up?

father eh

father myungjun and i are fine, we know that it was only a matter of time before we'd have a scandal

father tbh didn't think it'd be this huge, but we'll get over it..

father sanha and minhyuk aren't use the being this cut off from the world, i think they're scared about what's gonna happen

father bin is functioning normally? idk what's up with him actually

father and we haven't seen dongmin since we got home from the variety show, he hasn't left his room... bin and mj have brought him his meals, but he hasn't spokena word to us. i think he is taking the full responsibility for this and thinks we are gonna have to disband our group even though we just debuted like 2 months ago,, 

dino-saur it isn't all dongmin hyung's fault :(

verdone i think that was very brave of him, i wish i could let the world about my relationship as well,,,,

jisooschrist if you can, let dongmin know that all of seventeen has his respect and will support him and ASTRO no matter what happens.

father i will try, thanks guys

 

 

~

 

 

memegyu um holy shit

memegyu astro,,, u won't believe this

memegyu the media was angry, but now all kinds of idol are coming out about their relationships!?!?!?!

memegyu it's like a fucking queer revolution

chachawoo hwat?

verdone dude this is the craziest shit i've ever witnessed

dino-saur jungkook and jimin were the first to follow u and bin

HOSH after that we have: key and jonghyun, wonho and hyungwon, g-dragon and top, kyulkyung and nayeon, amber and krystal, baekhyun and chanyeol, momo and mina, mark and jackson, dude even jaebum jinyoung and youngjae are together

angelface also in nct there was taeyong and winwin, mark and haechan, ten and johnny

whatwoo dongmin you and bin actually started a gay revolution

puppycat dongmin just fainted

jisooschrist whoops just told the world about jeonghannie and i

dino-saur nahahah r u srs?

minghoe he actually just posted a pic of him and jeonghan kissing with a rainbow in the background

angelface awh <3 we're part of the gay asian revolution

tallbeagle omg!!! this is crazy!!!

mother our ratings just went up tenfold

mother dongmin u just made us rich

therock people are so confused

therock the gays are screaming

therock like check twitter

whatwoo #kpopisgay is number trending worldwide and has been for the past day

puppycat i told u guys we shouldn't worry!!

mother ok just because u r optimistic like all of time does not mean we are,, i thought we were gonna have to quite idol life and become strippers so we can get money

mother i was practicing on jinwoo and i think i'd be pretty good if it got that bad

tallbeagle lol our manager just brought dongmin and bin flowers saying " i'm sorry i yelled at you for kissing so now i'm saying thank you for kissing bc i now can actually pay for groceries i love you guys "

dkcountryreturns guys can seventeen just come out about all our relationships

whatwoo we wouldn't be shipped with other ppl as much

jisooschrist come join the Revolution losers

woozi o god yes pls if i'm shipped with soonyoung anymore i may cry

woozi the pitiful looks seokmin has given me when i have to fanservice has gotten too much

dad Let's do it one relationship at a time so it's less overwhelming ok?

chachawoo well i guess my stupidity worked out in the end! 

puppycat ;) i told you it'd be fine you big loser

tallbeagle vive les betes!!

angelface sanha dear u know that translates to 'long live the beasts'?

tallbeagle awh i tried to google translate long live the queers... D:

memegyu so basically the queers are beasts

whatwoo i can almost taste the confederate flag

father ahaha yikes let's not get into that

dino-saur how about vive les gens etranges?

angelface nope, that's long live strange people lol

jisooschrist how about just vive les gays because we're all gay

angelface Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

mother tbh you know they're gay when they can easily quote anything lady gaga has said

angelface i was born this way ;)

jisooschrist ok u little monster time to stop <3

 

 

~

 

 

therock OKAY I NEED THIS QUESTION ANSWERED

therock JOSHUA HONG

therock HONG JISOO

therock I SUMMON YOU

jisooschrist yes, young one, what do you inquire?

therock u watch anime right?

woozi /oh god/ does he?

woozi all fall i did not stop hearing him obsess over yuri on ice from about october to january

woozi and then is haikyuu,,,,, who even plays volleyball anymore

jisooschrist DONT YOU DARE INSULT HAIKYUU

jisooschrist YOI IS FINE TO INSULT BC HALF THE SHOW WAS FANSERVICE BUT

jisooschrist HAIKYUU IS A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE AND IT WILL NEVER DIE

jisooschrist KARASUNOOOO :,))

whatwoo so the answer is yes, he does watch anime

therock OKAY SO YOU WERE BORN IN AMERICA RIGHT? SO YOU SPOKE ENGLISH PRIMARILY AS YOU GREW UP???

jisooschrist that is correct

therock BUT NOW YOU LIVE IN KOREA AND SPEAK IN KOREAN AND SING IN KOREAN AND DO KOREAN THINGS RIGHT????

jisooschrist um yes?!?!

therock SO WHEN YOU WATCH ANIME, DO YOU WATCH IT WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES OR KOREAN SUBTITLES?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

jisooschrist oh i can only speak korean well lol, reading and writing is hard because in america i only spoke korean at home

jisooschrist so i usually use english subtitles

jisooschrist or

puppycat oh god

dkcountryreturns don't say it

jisooschrist the english dub

goodgemini ahhhh no pls

dino-saur i'm dub shaming 

angelface some subs aren't bad!!!! i like the way ouran highschool host club and tokyo ghoul sound!

jisooschrist this is why i'm marrying him

angelface <3 :D

 

 

~

 

 

mother @ seventeen i just was reading ur profiles on pledis and joshua it said that u are on team jacob so i don't think we can be friends anymore

tallbeagle yikes

father lol team jacob for life

jisooschrist haha yes jinwoo

mother OK THAT'S IT I'M FILING A DIVORCE I CAN'T BE ASSOCIATED WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT TEAM EDWARD

therock /YOU AREN'T EVEN MARRIED/

 

 

Chapter Text

angelface GUYS

angelface MY CHILDREN

angelface WERE YOU GUYS AT HOME TODAY!?!?!?!

dkcountryreturns no lol i was with astro playing mini golf

HOSH me too

tallbeagle it was fun!!!

father we should see if our managers can hook up something so our fan's can watch our interactions

father we had a whole fanbase that fuels off of astro x seventeen content lol

hitthekwan hansol and i went to go see his family

hitthekwan i'm pretty sure sofia hates me btw

verdone no she doesn't lololol

verdone i think she feel threatened by you bc i love u so much and she's never experienced me liking someone so much before <3

hitthekwan you've never loved someone like you loved me?

verdone kwannie i've never loved someone like this before you

hitthekwan AHSNOSL

hitthekwan I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU

hitthekwan HOW CAN SOMEONE AS PERFECT AS YOU LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME

verdone UR THE PERFECT ONE

hitthekwan NO YOU ARE

verdone YOU!!! ARE!!!! PERFECT!!!!!

hitthekwan YOU'RE PERFECTER 

verdone YOU'RE PERFECTEST

woozi verkwan can u take that lovey dovey shit somewhere else

dad Hey Jihoon.

woozi hi cheol how are you have you eaten can u kiss me u haven't yet today

chachawoo lol

angelface GUY WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC WHO WAS HOME TODAY

goodgemini i'm at a photoshoot rn

memegyu whatever visual -.-

whatwoo mingyu and i have been at the book cafe all morning

memegyu save me

dad Jihoon and I got ice cream before we headed to the movies. We are watching the previews for the movie now.

mother what are you watching?

woozi well we were /going/ to watch Wonder Woman, but cheol decided to eat slow as fuck so we missed the start of the movie, so now we are watching the Captain Underpants movie so we don't have to wait 2 hours for the next showing of WW

dad I read the books when I was younger, I think the movie will be cute!

woozi cheol we are the only adults here who are not with their young children, and the movie is fueled off of bathroom jokes and about a half naked crazy man who thinks he's a superhero bc he was hypnotized to not separate the most likely gay elementary school protagonists this /not/ going to be cute

minghoe i'm third wheeling on a date with lay and suho 

minghoe and their making me pay, saying i owe them for getting me together with junhui

minghoe i hate my friends

angelface so that leaves CHAN

dino-saur ya mom i was home all morning!!

angelface CHAN HOW IS THE WHOLE APARTMENT SO CLEAN IT'S SHINING

angelface WHEN JISOO AND I LEFT THE HOUSE THIS MORNING WE COULDN'T EVEN SEE THE FLOOR THROUGH EVERYONE'S SHIT

angelface tURNS OUR WE ACTUALLY HAVE A TOASTER?!?

angelface I THOUGHT I LOST THAT BACK IN 2015

dino-saur everyone left the house and was busy and i was rly bored so i decided to clean the house?!?

dino-saur like i just connected my phone to bluetooth, blasted music, and actually cleaned the entire house!!

dino-saur michael jackson and g-dragon really help me work hard lol

angelface JISOO STARTED CRYING

mother wow! i wish some of my boys would do that! (COUGH COUGH)

jisooschrist myungjun you don't even understand,, ever since i moved to korea from america and moved in with these losers, we've never had a clean house

jisooschrist i haven't seen the floor of the living room for so long, i didn't even know we had carpet

angelface chan i'm gonna pay u i'm so proud

puppycat wow chan i'm impressed

dino-saur ;)

therock can u clean our house

dino-saur sure lol

mother hahahha No! chan don't do it these children need to learn how to clean themselves

therock mom pls

mother hmm, maybe they should start learning now!

therock mj pls

mother better gets those rubber gloves out of the cabinet!

therock MYUNGJUN HYUNG PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME

dkcountryreturns welp guess i should leave ur apartment

minghoe rip park minhyuk u will be missed

puppycat no he won't

 

 

~

 

 

dad Well, I do not suggest Captain Underpants if you want to see a movie in theaters.

woozi they save the day with a uranus joke,,, A URANUS JOKE

woozi THIS MOVIE IS FOR CHILDREN

 

 

~

 

 

puppycat guys i love lesbians

puppycat they are the Best type of human

jisooschrist tbh same

chachawoo bin what brought this

puppycat u know how we ignited the gaypop revolution?

HOSH my dude of course

HOSH our bands are now known as the gayest kpop groups in history lol

therock ik ur band is rly gay

jisooschrist we are Gay

puppycat well all these couple are really thankful for us allowing them to be open about their relationships, right? so they are sending dongmin and i gifts lol

chachawoo rly? 

puppycat ya our closet is getting rly full

hitthekwan dude i wish i got presents for being rly gay

puppycat so we're getting some pretty awesome stuf,,, but the lesbian couple are so Extra with this

puppycat these presents are Insane

dad Who is giving you things?

woozi more like what are they giving u

woozi if u having gotten at least 1 dildo i know ur lying

puppycat JIHOON SHHSHHH 

goodgemini ;) u and dongmin will be having a lot of fun won't u

puppycat junhui shut ur face

chachawoo /ANYWAY/

puppycat amber and krystal sent us the largest edible arrangements bouquet i have ever seen in my life

therock [image] y'all it's this except like 4 feet wide

therock u could feed like 200 ppl with this

mother we should have a fan meet and give some fruit to fans

mother bc we are /not/ eating all of that ourselves

angelface can we come??

tallbeagle PLS MOM IT CAN BE LIKE A HUGE SVT X ASTRO MEET UP

mother y not

puppycat LET ME CONTINUE ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL LESBIAN PRESENTS

puppycat nayoung and jieqiong sent us a cat

puppycat AN ACTUAL KITTEN

puppycat I NAMED THEM ELI

dkcountryreturns awh u have a gender neutral cat

chachawoo WE HAVE A CAT!??!?!

chachawoo I'M LEAVING THE STUDIO NOW I MUST SEE OUR CHILD

puppycat WE'RE NOW PARENTS

puppycat CL isn't even with anybody she was just so proud of us that she gave us tickets for a vacation to NYC

puppycat but like,,, /all/ of us

puppycat somehow she knows how close we all are!?!?!?!

woozi wait wtf

verdone r u saying cl actually is funding us a trip to nyc

verdone y'all i was born there

mother omg

mother OMG

father HWAT HTHE FUCK 

dino-saur you guys are iconic!!!

puppycat !!!!! it's for next month and we will be there for a week!!!! in her letter she said she already checked in with our companies and they agreed as long as we have a little concert and film what we do!!!!!!!

HOSH IF I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF THE WORLD FOUND OUT ABOUT US BEING GAY I WOULD'VE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH SEOKMIN ON OUR DEBUT STAGE

dkcountryreturns ;))))

whatwoo oh my osh

memegyu GUYS I NEED TO LEARN ENGLISH

minghoe i've been studying english!!! jisoo ur gonna have to help me!!!

jisooschrist ofc minghao

angelface jisoo dear you're going to have to teach all of his

father lol us too

chachawoo jinwoo and i can kind of speak english but in general astro sucks at english so we need help too!!

jisooschrist ofc i can hold english time every thursday until we leave so y'all can get down the basics!?

angelface shua bby ur the best i love u

dad Thanks, Shua.

verdone I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH TOO

verdone I WAS BORN IN NYC FFS

jisooschrist u can join me hansol

hitthekwan yay hansol

verdone good :))

puppycat so momo and mina sent us socks

chachawoo socks?

puppycat yup

puppycat 3 huge boxes of socks

puppycat wait

puppycat not just socks

puppycat the socks are the equivalent to packing peanuts?

puppycat they actually sent us,,, kitchenware?

dino-saur lol what?

puppycat well in one package, we have some plates, silverware, bowls, cups, the whole shebang

puppycat in the next box,,, a french press?

mother mmhm mornings are going to be so nice

puppycat and in the third box

puppycat cereal

minghoe cereal?

dad Just cereal?

puppycat there are like 10 boxes of random cereal in here

whatwoo lesbians can be so weird

memegyu shh wonwoo the author is expressing her love for lesbian, bc she is in fact a lesbian, therefore she wants to make them sound interesting plus she likes kitchenware and cereal so that's why momo and mina have decided to be weird af and send binwoo kitchenware and cereal

tallbeagle lol what

memegyu what?

puppycat yoojung and doyeon sent us like half a candy store

puppycat what is even happening with my life anymore

puppycat next thing we know,, dongmin and i will be on We Got Married

 

 

~

 

 

puppycat what the fuck

puppycat the producer of We Got Married but sent me a passive aggressive email saying that dongmin and i should've came out sooner so we could have been on the show before it ended

chachawoo my life is so strange idek anymore

goodgemini you guys are Iconic

jisooschrist tbh the straights are shaking

minghoe fear the gays

hitthekwan FEAR THE GAYS

 

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist speaking of married

jisooschrist jeonghan we need to start planning our wedding

angelface ur STILL SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!?!?!?!

angelface BBY OF COURSE LETS PLAN THIS

angelface doesn't one of us have to propose first??

jisooschrist we'll worry about that later

jisooschrist we obviously need to invite all of the participants of the gaypop revolution

goodgemini y'all with be the first gaypop revolutionaries to get married

father i thought the ppl who ignited the flame would be the one's to get married first

puppycat JINWOO I AM 19 

puppycat  I LIKE JUST GOT OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL I'M NOT GOING TO GET MARRIED

puppycat not saying i wouldn't love to spend the rest of my life with dongmin,,,

chachawoo <333333 

puppycat but wayyy too young dad

dad Jeonghan, I'm your best man right?????????????

woozi woah ok seungcheol try to be a bit more obvious huh

dad I thought that was obvious enough?

woozi sarcasm, cheol

angelface cheollie ofc ur my best man,,, ur my best friend

memegyu ooh awkward

whatwoo leave it alone mingyu u house wrecker

verdone jisoo who is ur best man gonna be??

jisooschrist honestly idk,,, 

verdone (ahem)

verdone (cough cough)

verdone (wink wonk)

verdone oh hey i didn't see u there

jisooschrist hansol do u want to be my best man

verdone oh i'd LOVE to!!! thanks for asking!!!

hitthekwan sol i love u to bits but that was the most pathetic thing i've ever witnessed

tallbeagle yikes

mother mhm hansol back at it again,,, getting 'yikes'-ed by sanha

verdone :,) sanha y u gotta do me dirty like this

tallbeagle :D <3

verdone ok ur forgiven

 

 

~

 

 

mother jinwoo can u give me a foot massage 

father ew no u know i hate feet

mother divorced

therock I SWEAR TO GOS

therock UR NOT MARRIED 

therock AT LEAST GET MARRIED AND THEN START JOKING ABOUT DIVORCE

dino-saur i never know y minhyuk gets to offended over this but it's honestly so funny thank u for the laughs buddy

 

 

~

 

 

woozi tbh i miss jeonghan's long hair

tallbeagle me too!! he looked so pretty!!

mother *looks

mother tbh jeonghan is generally just a pretty person

angelface *blusheu* awh stop it

jisooschrist u looked like a princess!! 

jisooschrist and i was ur knight in shining armour awhh

angelface oh heck no

angelface sweety u are the princess

angelface i am and always will be /YOUR/ knight in shining armour

jisooschrist D:

angelface sorry princess i don't make the rules <3

hitthekwan breaking standards right there,, ladies and gentleman now u see it,,, jihan is Superior don't even try to fight me u can't deny 

 

 

Chapter Text

puppycat guys

puppycat what if we were all actuallyin a video game

puppycat and there's a little teenager who's controlling everything we do

chachawoo bin it's three am 

verdone woah

memegyu whoever's controlling us must be rly gay

mother ur right

mother no straight person would make literally every single one of us queer

jisooschrist so is it like,,, a lesbian? or like a gay boi?,,, 

memegyu it's totally a lesbian did you even hear about the gifts the lesbians gave binwoo

father but it could be a gay boi bc we're all gay bois and the gifts was just trying to appreciate his homosexual sisters

chachawoo y r u all up so early we have a meetup tomorrow

minghoe it's totally a reverse dating sim

minghoe instead of the characters dating the player, the player is the characters and has them date eachother

therock this could start so many fandom wars

tallbeagle they made me so fashionable!!!

dino-saur omg sanha

dino-saur they made us bffls

tallbeagle awhhh you're right!??!?!?! <333

dino-saur <3333

therock !!!!!!!!!  >:00000 <333333

tallbeagle don't worry minhyuk, we were obvi brought together by fate

whatwoo or apparently a teenage lesbian

tallbeagle FATE

tallbeagle <33333333

therock <3333333

angelface awh modern romance <3

woozi wtf

goodgemini mhm she must be having the time of her life

goodgemini i am so financially stable

whatwoo like we actually have groceries that last an entire week is this heaven

mother kudos to our player ur the main man

father *woman

mother ur the main (wo)man

dad Guys my brain hurts from thinking about this too much.

hitthekwan hansol has fell into the deepest existential crisis i have yet to encounter

hitthekwan he hasn't blinked since bin suggested this

puppycat lol sorry

chachawoo DID EVERYONE DECIDE TO PULL AN ALL NIGHTER OR SOMETHING

minghoe dongmin it's like 11 pm

chachawoo MY CLOCK SAYS IT'S 4:39 AM

angelface lol it's 10:39 pm dongmin

puppycat bby i think your clock is wrong

chachawoo so do u mean i slept all day

chachawoo oops

minghoe lmao cha eunwoo at his finest

chachawoo ahh frick now my sleep schedule is fricked up

verdone "fricked"

HOSH YOU FRIKCING FRICKS

HOSH WHEN WILL YOU LEARN,,, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN,,,

HOSH THAT UR ACTIONS,,, HAVE CONSEQUENCES!?!/!!?!!?/1?!

memegyu ahh,, the iconic sammyclassicsonicfan 

angelface daddy

jisooschrist jeonghan stfu

woozi ah jisoo is jealous for a little angry nerd being more daddy than himself

dad Jihoon STFU.

woozi ouch

tallbeagle hehe i love sammy

dino-saur i heard he got bullied a lot :((((

dkcountryreturns USYF

dkcountryreturns HIS YOUTUBE WAS DELETED

mother WHAT NO

goodgemini is this the end of the world

whatwoo oh wow hello depression

therock SAMMY SUNBAENIM COME BACK MY LOVE

tallbeagle D:

therock it was just a josh,,,, i love you infinitely sanha

tallbeagle :D

angelface ugh goals

angelface jisoo we better be cuter than them when we get married

jisooschrist ok

father goals

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist created a new chatroom 

jisooschrist named chatroom ' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '

jisooschrist added 17 users

 

 

jisooschrist y'all i've decided i'm going to propose to jeonghan when we are in nyc

jisooschrist i need y'all to help me

mother OF COURSE I'LL HELP

dino-saur yayyyy!!!!!!!

dad As you are to be the husband of my best friend, I see it fit that I assist you in asking for his hand in marriage.

woozi ,,,,,, yike

puppycat at least you've discussed it and know he's gonna say yes!

memegyu lol imagine if you proposed in like times square or something and sang to him and shit and then he said no

goodgemini lol and it would be recorded too,,, fans would lose their shit

dkcountryreturns u guys are awful ppl

minghoe wen junhui???? idk her

goodgemini bby it was a joke,, you know i support their marriage 100 percent

verdone  lol ya he does,, before jeonghan and jisoo got together he basically had a shrine towards their relationship

hitthekwan no joke,, he used to send us relationship updates in a jihan chatroom

goodgemini SHUT UR FUCK JOSHUA AND JEONGHAN WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT

jisooschrist ohohoh?? ;)

father ANYWAY jisoo i think singing would be a great thing to do bc both of our groups are pretty widely known kpop groups and there will def be fans to witness the proposal,, and it's very romantic

chachawoo we could totally have a huge 19 person duit something and have u solo and woo ur man

minghoe lol (eun)woo him

puppycat lol

jisooschrist singing sounds good,,,  should i bring my guitar???

woozi sorry to break it to you but you can't propose on one knee and present jeonghan with a ring while simultaneously playing guitar,,,

jisooschrist i can try!

dad You would fail, Jisoo.

jisooschrist :( but guitars are romantic

tallbeagle  i can play guitar!!!

jisooschrist !!! :)

jisooschrist idk how we are going to make u be lowkey while carrying around a guitar but we'll make it work!!!

mother i think Times Square would be good as well

puppycat ya a lot of people will be watching

memegyu  who bets jeonghan's gonna cry

HOSH me

father me

goodgemini me too

verdone wtf jisoo is going to be the one to cry

verdone did u see him with your lie in april,,,, he cried for like 3 hours

verdone he even cried the first episode bc the music was so beautiful

jisooschrist IT WAS OK

jisooschrist THE ANIME RUINED MY LIFE

woozi ok crybaby less anime more marriage

 

 

' OT19 '

 

 

whatwoo idgaf what any of u says but veggietales is some Good Shit

chachawoo i have a stuffed toy of larry the cucumber

puppycat AND I HAVE A STUFFED BOB THE TOMATO

puppycat WE'RE SUCH COUPLE GOALS

dkcountryreturns tbh veggietales is what taught me to be a decent human being

woozi ew that shit is creepy asf

woozi y would u wanna watch talking vegetables teach u the bible

mother EXCUSE ME DON'T INSULT MY VEGETABLES

angelface REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT'S RELIGIOUS OR NOT THE SONGS ARE BOPS AND IT TEACHES YOU LIFE MORAL WHICH HAVE HELPED ME GROW UP

verdone tbh i've had too many veggietales sing a longs

hitthekwan u know what i have cringey sing a longs to ???

hitthekwan PHINEAS AND FERB

HOSH GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

dad I love that show.

dkcountryreturns WhO DOEsnT

goodgemini i don't

minghoe we're done

minghoe HOW CAN U NOT LIKE PHINEAS AND FERB

therock  ITS THE BEST SHOW EVER

father the songs are so catchy

dino-saur S I M P 

verdone SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS

jisooschrist guys

jisooschrist where's perry

woozi it's not a party it's an intimate get together

puppycat CANDACE PARTY

angelface CANDACE PARTY

dad This should be concerning because are basically all adult grown men freaking out about a show for elementary school students... but it isn't?

therock my dude,,, p & f is for all ages shapes and sizes

tallbeagle don't be ashamed !!!

 

 

 

~

 

 

verdone PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

woozi oh god

hitthekwan AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

whatwoo someone stop them

chachawoo wait this seems entertaining

verdone TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVESTATION

hitthekwan TO UNITE ALL PEOPLES IN OUR NATION

verdone TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE

hitthekwan TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE

verdone VERNON

hitthekwan SEUNGKWAN

verdone VERKWAN, BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

hitthekwan SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT

dino-saur dINO

dino-saur THAT'S RIGHT

goodgemini no chan don't support these losers

verdone WONWOO

hitthekwan MINGYU 

memegyu lol what 

whatwoo guys no 

hitthekwan DON'T STRUGGLE YOU PEASANTS

verdone IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT

verdone WELL,,, IN THIS CASE,,,

verdone IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THINGS GAY

hitthekwan IT'S BEEN LIKE 4 YEARS SINCE WE MET

hitthekwan U TWO KEEP SKRT SKRTING AROUND EACH OTHER

minghoe it's true

minghoe even verkwan confessed

HOSH my dudes,, verkwan was almost as bad as u two

whatwoo y r u doing this now

memegyu astro,,, my friend,,, help a pal in need

tallbeagle mingyu hyung the only thing u need is wonwoo's dick

memegyu iSHDsbkjASN

mother BAHBSHA NO CHORES FOR U BBY U DESERVE A NIGHT FREE FOR THAT

puppycat i wanna be mad for that but that was so good im

dkcountryreturns bHAHA mingyu get rekt

whatwoo but mingyu and i r just friends

jisooschrist AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

jisooschrist ahem

jisooschrist sorry

jisooschrist but BULLSHIT

memegyu ?????

memegyu  boi last time i checked friends don't sleep together (literally and sexually) and hold hands and stuff

memegyu if u would just ask we'd be bfs and not change a thing

father u guys aren't actually dating??

mother no sweety, wonwoo's just emotionally constipated and is making mingyu suffer through some weird attempted friends with benefits kinda shit

whatwoo myungjun ur words r so kind 

mother <3

verdone SO CITIZENS OF THIS CHATROOM

hitthekwan PLAN A WILL OFFICIALLY BE PUT INTO ACTION IN 3

memegyu wait what

verdone 2

whatwoo ?

hitthekwan 

 

 

17 users have left ' OT19 "

 

 

memegyu welp

whatwoo yo i know how to solve this

memegyu ye?

whatwoo mingyu do u wanna be my boyfriend

memegyu of course <3

whatwoo ok <3

 

 

whatwoo added 17 users to ' OT19 '

 

 

whatwoo guys meet my boyfriend mingyu

hitthekwan SUCCESS

verdone GOOD TEAMWORK Y'ALL

HOSH so what'd u guys talk about ;))))) anything spicy/??

memegyu o ya it was the kinkiest minute of my life

father congrats on gettig together

dad Even though they've basically been dating since they met....

mother ah~~ young love

tallbeagle myungjun hyung ur like 2 years older than them wtf

mother /YOUNG LOVE/

 

 

~

 

 

angelface created a new chatroom

angelface named chatroom ' bling bling wedding ring '

angelface added 17 users

 

 

angelface OKAY

angelface I'VE DECIDED THAT WHEN WE GO ON VACA TO NYC, I'M GOING TO ASK MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND TO BE MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND

hitthekwan oh shit

dad Of course, Jeonghan. That sounds like a great idea!

goodgemini a great, original, unique, unfamiliar, interesting idea!!!

mother i love romance lol

mother *sips wedding tea*

angelface you guys have to help me make this the best wedding proposal the gay world has ever seen!

therock u should sing

memegyu we should all sing

tallbeagle i'll play guitar!!

angelface good idea!! i wonder how we'll make an acoustic guitar look less suspicious,,,,

HOSH heh i guess we'll figure it out when the date comes sooner!!

angelface yes we will!!~~

 

 

mother created a new chatroom

mother named chatroom ' y does jihan do this to us '

mother added 16 users

 

 

mother i don't want to be pessimistic but y'all we're screwed

dad Yup.

dino-saur let's pray to the gay gods or the lesbian controlling us or whoever that this goes well!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

mother ok who do y'all recommend for divorce lawyers

therock !?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

woozi pretty sure cheol wanted to be a lawyer before we become idols

dad Why would you need a lawyer?

mother y else

mother i'm divorcing jinwoo

therock i am leaving this family i can't take this

minghoe minhyuk do u need help

chachawoo what did he do this time

father i didn't do anything!!!

mother boi

mother u did everything

father but

mother no don't talk to me

whatwoo ???

dino-saur lol what did jinjin hyung do this time?

mother oh god let me tell you

mother he left his laptop open when he went to shower yeah?

mother so i go over and look to see what he was doing,,, 

mother he was writing fanfiction

verdone that's not that bad

memegyu tbh we all write it

mother exo fanfiction

puppycat wait

puppycat no pls

dkcountryreturns i like exo fanfics?

tallbeagle oh,, we do too!! it's just,,,

mother ,,,,,, he was writing chansoo

mother IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

father excuse me chansoo is beautiful

mother DIVORCE

mother DIVORCE I TELL YOU

therock ok

therock usually i'd be pissed about the divorce,, but

therock this situation is an exception,, i'll be mad next time jinwoo is annoying enough for his unhusband to want divorce,,

angelface have you even seen chanbaek!?!?!?!??!

mother IN THIS HOUSE WE ONLY SHIP CHANBAEK

father myungjun surely not everyone here ships chanbaek

mother IF YOU SHIP CHANBAEK SAY I

tallbeagle i!

therock i

dad I.

HOSH i

chachawoo I

hitthekwan i

jisooschrist i

goodgemini i

woozi i

memegyu i

puppycat i

angelface i

minghoe i

dkcountryreturns i

verdone i

dino-saur i!!

whatwoo i

father well

father i stand corrected

father this is awkward

father but guys,,, can't u respect that i ship chanyeol w someone else

mother no

tallbeagle :(( myungjun hyung

angelface mj pal,,,

HOSH how about polyamory!! chanbaeksoo!!

jisooschrist no

dad No.

angelface nope

HOSH geez okay then

chachawoo my jihancheol feels just got stepped one

mother but,,, chanyeol luvs baekhyun

father chanyeol can also luv kyungsoo

puppycat chanbaek sent me signed merch after gaypop 2k17

father shh don't rub it in my face that they're actually together

father my fanfics are the only thing keeping my ship floating

mother then let it sink bitch

dino-saur hyung chill out

mother i'm sorry

mother u can ship whatever u want

mother i still love you

father i love you too

mother not as much as chanbaek tho

father on second thought

mother anyway the divorce is off for now... i need to be stronger... my mother told me marriage was hard

therock ur not married but whatever

therock i'm over it

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist listen up losers

jisooschrist what would your american names be

jisooschrist i need to know this

jisooschrist it's for science

verdone vernon

hitthekwan gtfo u noob

hittekwan i think i'd be quin

hitthekwan bc quin kind of sounds like kwan

puppycat mmhm very nice

HOSH ,, aju nice

therock can eunwoo be eugine

chachawoo no

jisooschrist yes

chachawoo gdi i can't argue with jisoo

jisooschrist call me joshua for rn

jisooschrist we are all becomig american 

 

jisooschrist changed their username to ' josh '

jisooschrist changed verdone's username to ' vernon '

jisooschrist changed hitthekwan's username to ' quin '

jisooschrist changed chachawoo's username to ' eugene '

 

 

eugene i don't support this

josh ok who else

josh cmon losers u choose or i do it for you

HOSH i'll be sal

quin ,,,, y tho it doesn't sound like hoshi or soonyoung

HOSH it starts with an s

josh sounds good enough for me

 

josh changed HOSH's username to ' sal '

 

sal i like it

memegyu i will be matthew

josh malcolm it is

memegyu what 

 

josh changed memegyu's username to ' malcolm '

 

malcolm but matthew

eugene welcome to the life pal

eugene we sound like the typical white nerds who get stuffed into dumpsters after school

malcolm ://

whatwoo there are barely any american names that start with w i think i'm fine

 

josh changed whatwoo's username to ' william '

 

william gdi

josh it's been like 10 minutes it's time to bring matters into our own hands

 

josh changed mother's username to ' matthew '

josh changed father's username to ' jonathan '

josh changed minghoe's username to ' melvin '

 

malcolm joshua wtf why does myungjun get to be matthew

josh u drank the rest of the milk and then put to empty carton back into the fridge

malcolm malcolm is really the best name josh thx for giving it to me i love it

eugene joshua what about me what did i do wrong

josh i just rly like the name eugene tbh

vernon lol

eugene shh vernon is just as bad

vernon but it's my real name

eugene i know

quin o shit roasted

vernon ur my boyf aren't u supposed to stand up for me

quin oops sorry babe

quin hey eugene that was a no no

eugene sorry

 

josh changed tallbeagle's username to ' sammy '

josh changed goodgemini's username to ' jerry '

josh changed woozi's username to ' waldo '

josh changed dkcountryreturns's username to ' sherwood '

josh changed puppycat's username to ' bob '

 

sal hahhahaha bob

quin moon bob lolololol

 

josh changed dad's username to ' sigmund '

 

william ok these are just gettig weird

malcolm lololol sigmund

vernon waldo is gonna kick ur ass u know that

vernon are not even basing it on his birthname

quin hey,,,, where is waldo??

 

josh changed therock's username to ' dwayne '

 

josh i really couldn't help it with that one i'm sorry

eugene i can respect that

 

josh changed dino-saur's username to ' chad '

josh changed angelface's username to ' jamison '

 

josh lol done

josh now it's just like back home!!

quin hyung i don't think there were actually people named sigmund, waldo, or sherwood 

josh it's the thought that counts

eugene is it tho??

 

 

~

 

 

bob hey guys what's up

bob wait

bob y am i named bob

dwayne lololol bob

dwayne wait 

dwayne who tf is dwayne

sal like dwayne the rock johnson

dwayne who are u

sal i'm sal

sigmund What is happening?

sigmund ... Sigmund, really?

josh lolol 

jamison lol good one baby

jamison wait

jamison wher e in hell did u get jamison

malcolm the author literally just looked up american names that start with the letter of our names bc she's unoriginal and can't think of anything this late at night

william what

malcolm what?

chad ah the 'm' and the random 4th wall breaking,,, u must be mingyu

malcolm hello maknae

chad lol my name is easy it's only one letter off

eugene lucky u

dwayne lol eugene

bob don't worry babe i don't think eugene is that bad

eugene really?

bob no it's pretty bad but i love u anyway

sherwood this is so sonfusing

sherwood sherwood!?!?!??!

sal it starts with an s

sal seokmin has s and so does sherwood

sherwood thanks babe thatreally helped

sammy hello!! i likke your names!

jamison i got motherly tingles that must be sanha

jamison hello dear

sammy hello! :D

melvin i'm so uncomfortable

jerry i kind of like it

melvin shut up jerry

matthew i just made lunch who's hungry

matthew wait

matthew is this some alternate universe where i live in america

jonathon no myungjun jisoo just changed all our names

josh JOSH

quin wait y did we do this again?

josh idk i was homesick

josh so i changed ppls names so they're more american

vernon except me

josh whatever

vernon don't be rude to your best man

jerry shut up vernon 

vernon how bout u shut up jerry

melvin ya shut up jerry

jerry i'm being attacked

 

 

~

 

 

waldo why the fuck is my name waldo

chad lol we found waldo!

 

 

~

 

 

sammy i want to change names now!!

 

sammy returned 19 username's to last saved name change

 

woozi thank god

woozi seungcheol actually forced me into waldo cosplay

dad You were adorable!

woozi u better watch it >:*

puppycat was that an angry kiss

woozi yes

tallbeagle awh >:* 

 

 

~

 

 

' bling bling wedding ring '

 

angelface guys i bought a ring!!

dino-saur i wanna see it!! 

angelface [image] here!! i was gonna do a band but i didn't want it to be mistaken with our band rings

therock how much was it?

mother minhyuk don't ask things like that!

mother ,,,, but i'm interested ,,,,

angelface don't worry lol

angelface when jisoo and i discussed i suggested the 500-2000 dollar range

angelface this is $1,076 

hitthekwan awhhhh and it's so pretty 

dad Good choice, I think Jisoo will love it!

angelface he better !!

angelface but we're leaving for nyc in a week and i'm almost all ready!!

memegyu i'm kinda nervous 

angelface don't be! u have no reason to :000

memegyu yup lol no reason at all

 

 

~

 

 

' OT19 ' 

 

 

puppycat i want leo from vixx to step on me

puppycat seriously every time i hear his high note in beautiful liar i want him to personally lower me into my grave

goodgemini i want to kinkshame but honestly same

angelface he's the kindof person who you just to cuddle and protect 

whatwoo he's super shy but super nice

therock you've met him haven't you

whatwoo yes

verdone how do you even have the time to meet all these idols

whatwoo idk

verdone great answer

whatwoo sorry idek i just meet them

whatwoo like i've been friends with heechul from suju since i was a lad

memegyu "since i was a lad"

memegyu ever since me mum left me, i've been scouring the pavement for barmy arseholes 

whatwoo u know what mingyu

memegyu <3 

whatwoo ur lucky i love u

whatwoo also i apologize to all european readers on mingyu's behalf

father ohohoho what's this?

HOSH wonwoo breaking the 4th wall?

jisooschrist god enough of the 4th wall breaking 

jisooschrist it brings me closer to an existential crisis every time

memegyu suffer 

jisooschrist D:

 

 

~

 

 

' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '

 

jisooschrist guys

jisooschrist i bought a ring

verdone ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

dkcountryreturns i'm developing a cold sweat

jisooschrist um hopefully a good cold sweat  !!!!!

dkcountryreturns hehe yup it's because i'm so excited to see u propose !!!!!!!

minghoe hyung let's see the ring

jisooschrist of course!! [image]

mother oh my god

jisooschrist pretty huh!?

 

 

' y does jihan do this to us '

 

mother GUYS WHY DO THE RINGS LOOK ALMOST IDENTICAL

HOSH I'M STARTING TO FREAK OUT

 

 

'yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '

 

goodgemini ya dude it's gorgeous 

woozi how much did you pay for it?

jisooschrist ah ah ahah ahah a

jisooschrist ,,,, $8,841.00 

father myungjun just fainted

jisooschrist ya i know it's a lot of money but i rly love jeonghan so ?!?!?!??!

 

 

' y does jihan do this to us '

 

chachawoo um the ring jisoo bought is literally 7 thousand dollars more expensive than the ring jeonghan bought for him

tallbeagle THIS IS KIND OF STRESSFUL

dkcountryreturns IT'S A LOT STRESSFUL

father ok guys let's just calm down

 

 

' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '

 

jisooschrist i'm thinking of seeing if i can get our company to let us vlive the whole thing (preparations and all) so all the fans can feel like they're a part of it

 

 

' bling bling wedding ring '

 

angelface we should totally broadcast the proposal so the world can see it!?!??! maybe we can put it on the jumbo screens in the middle of the city where everyone can see as well?!?!?!

 

 

' y does jihan do this to us '

 

father OKAY ON SECOND THOUGHT LET'S FREAK OUT

whatwoo oh god what is happening this is a mess

dad I think my hair is rapidly greying...

chachawoo i need some air

hitthekwan THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

puppycat WE'RE LEAVING IN TWO DAYS GUYS WE CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING

goodgemini we aren't even at the wedding planning yet

dino-saur ahhAHHhAHHhhHhHH

verdone i'm gonna kermit

father myungjun came back to consciousness and then fainted again seeing that they both want to broadcast this mess of a proposal

memegyu give him some juice or something

father good idea

memegyu thanks

minghoe guys at least we're going on vacation!!

woozi if his whole situation doesn't kill us first 

dino-saur rip svt-stro 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

father ok

father i have watched every single episode of fantastic duo that has ever aired

father i think every duo i've shed a tear

dkcountryreturns BOI

dkcountryreturns I LOVE THAT SHOW

father WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE DUO

father TAEYANG AND HIS GIRL LITERALLY BLEW MY SOCKS OFF

dkcountryreturns KIM BUM SOO AND KIM DA MI

dkcountryreturns DA MI'S VOICE WITH SOO'S MADE ME CRY

jisooschrist *rolls up sleeves*

jisooschrist LEE MOON SAE AND KIM YOON HEE

jisooschrist THAT 15 YR OLD GIRLS VOICE WITH LEGEND MOONSAE ACTUALLY DECEASED ME AND THEN RECEASED ME

jisooschrist NO ONE CAN TELL ME THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO WIN

angelface bby,, didn't u hear that wonwoo and i are attended that 

therock pardon 

whatwoo ya we were filming it like last week bc we're leaving for nyc today

puppycat YES NYC BUT MORE IMPORTANT

puppycat !?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

puppycat I'M GONNA CRY I LOVE FANTASTIC DUO I'M GOFN

angelface chen and jisoo and lisa are also participating

hitthekwan I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB

mother if i record myself on the app singing with y'all do u think they'll chose me

mother kyuhyun from super junior actually tried to get picked for lee sunhee

goodgemini BOI HER DUO WITH THE YEJIN GIRL WAS SO FUCKGN GOOD

jisooschrist can i try and sing with jisoo and lisa

jisooschrist jisoo and i should make a duo tbh

jisooschrist we can be jisoo2

jisoochrist 2j

jisooschrist soosoo

jisooschrist jiji

woozi how about Stop

tallbeagle why would their duo name be called Stop?

verdone PRECIOUS HUMAN

dad Sanha, Jihoon was just being rude, ignore that.

woozi -.- watch it pal

dad I am watching.

minghoe ouch

dino-saur parent set number 1, pls don't fight

dino-saur its stresses me out

woozi THAN BE STRESSED

HOSH woah

HOSH who pissed in ur cheerios this morning

woozi idk who ATE my cheerios this morning?????

woozi AND LEFT THE FUCKING BOX IN THE FUCKING CABINET

woozi WHAT KIND OF EVIL PERSON ARE YOU

woozi MY DAY IS RUINED

verdone ,,,

verdone those were yours?

woozi HANSOL VERNON CHWE

verdone /shit/

therock my dude i'm not there rn but i suggest u run

mother i can feel jihoon's anger through me cell phone

hitthekwan hansol just skrt skrted out of here so fast

memegyu HE JUST LEFT THE APARTMENT

dino-saur JIHOONIE HYUNG FOLLOWED HIM

HOSH ONE MINUTE LET ME GET THE CAMERA THIS WILL BE SO GOOD ON OUR VLIVE CHANNEL

HOSH WE BETTER RUN IF WE WANT TO CATCH THIS ON FILM

minghoe more like u better run if u wanna save hansol's sorry ass

verdone PLS HELP ME

verdone I'M HIDING BEHIND SOME HOT CHEETOS IN THE DRUG STORE

woozi THERE U ARE U GREMLIN

verdone shit

HOSH wait

HOSH did i hear hot cheetos

HOSH hansol ur safety can wait

dkcountryreturns i love seeing where soonyoung's loyalties lie

HOSH u and hot cheetos are all i need in life babe

dkcountryreturns <3

mother that was nice

mother soonseok interactions have been kind of Dry lately

dkcountryreturns oops

dkcountryreturns we've been busy doing other things other than flirting over text ;)

mother oh hoh hoh ;)))

dad Meaning they've been playing Overwatch and crying over Drama OST's.

dkcountryreturns y u gotta do me like this seungcheol hyung

mother still sounds fun ;)))

puppycat mj's winky face's always creep me out

mother Do You Wanna Fight Me Moon Bin

puppycat no i do not kim myungjun

mother THEN KEEP UR OPINIONS TO URSELF

puppycat ok

mother u can't see me but i'm glaring at u

goodgemini tbh whenever i try to type out myungjun, i accidently type myungjin

father goals

minghoe it's because he writes too much astro fanfiction

goodgemini XU MINGHAO I'M GONNA BEAT UR ASS

therock kinky

goodgemini AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY

goodgemini (although everything i do is sexy)

tallbeagle can i read ur fanfics!?!?!? :D

minghoe dude i can send u the links

goodgemini No You Will Not

angelface wait what ships do u write

goodgemini ,,,, all the canon couples obviously who do u take me for

angelface tbh i've probably read them

angelface i've read every fic on the astro ao3 tag

whatwoo same

chachawoo same

goodgemini DONGMIN NO U HAVEN'T

chachawoo lol,,, every single one

chachawoo even if i'm shipped with sanha or binnie with minhyuk

chachawoo aroha's are really talented and i don't want to let that go to waste

goodgemini IM SWETTIGN

goodgemini I CANR'GSF

minghoe his username is sockymeinthejaw

therock BAHHAHSHAHAHSHA

father cute

chachawoo wait

chachawoo junhui all ur fics have like the most kudos

chachawoo wait

chachawoo junhui

goodgemini DON'T SAY IT

goodgemini PLEASE SPARE MY PRIDE

mother GIRL TELL ME PLS

mother I NEED MORE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL ON U GUYS

minghoe o hoe he gon do it

dad Junhui, you better not be doing anything rude to them.

chachawoo jun writes the KINKIEST shit

chachawoo his writing flusters the fuck out of me

chachawoo like i thought bin was pretty kinky but hell no

goodgemini ITS NOT THAT KINKY

chachawoo ,,,,

chachawoo "myungjun whined as jinwoo pulled away. the loss of contact was almost unbearable for the older man, who was panted and squirming like a dog in heat. jinwoo smirked as he saw myungjun's whole naked body flush a lovely shade of pink. The ropes that were intricately knotted around his lover turned and pulled at his limbs in all the right ways. 'what's the safe word babe' the younger man mumbled as he pulled a blindfold from the bedside table. It took a minute for myungjun to respond, as he was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of lust and need corrupting his body. Once he had comprehended what jinwoo had just asked him, he muttered quietly 'aroha'"

mother dude if only jinwoo was that kinky

mother he's kinda vanilla

father I AM NOT VANILLA

angelface i am slightly concerned that u wrote their safeword as the name they call their fans

puppycat i am slightly turned on slightly disturbed

goodgemini DONGMIN Y

chachawoo this isn't even the good stuff

chachawoo i held back bc chan and sanha are Children

tallbeagle thanks hyung!

dino-saur wait send me the link though i wanna read it

goodgemini NO

angelface NO

dad NO

memegyu also the author felt uncomfortable writing what was up above,,, she wouldn't be able to actually write smut also she is underage and has the overwhelming fear that her friends and family are just gonna find this fic so she's not going to write smut 

chachawoo what

memegyu what?

jisooschrist do u write svt fanfiction

goodgemini no

minghoe yes

minghoe but it's on his other account: vernonseyebrows

verdone okay y tho

minghoe the jicheol fics are my favorite

minghoe verkwan coming in at a close second, tied with jihan fics

minghoe jihancheol hybrid fics hitting the 4th place bc those are my Guilty Pleasure

goodgemini DON'T READ THEM

goodgemini PLS SPARE ME

goodgemini WHERE'D ALL OF U GO

goodgemini OH GOD UR READING THEM AREN'T YOU

goodgemini I'M RUNNING AWAY

goodgemini I CAN'T EVEN LOOK ANY OF YOU IN THE EYES ANYMORE

goodgemini I'M GOING TO GO BECOME THE 10th MEMBER OF TWICE GOOD BYE

goodgemini NAYEON NOONA I'M COMING 

 

 

~

 

 

mother guys junhui's fics are actually good

whatwoo tbh he could write a book and i'd read it

memegyu what a praise from wonwoo

woozi he could make some serious bank writing porn

goodgemini sTOp IT

 

 

~

 

 

tallbeagle .... my innocence is gone

goodgemini GOD SANHA NO

mother SANHA MY CHILD

angelface JUNHUI YOU'VE CORRUPTED HIM

therock dude thanks now things can get interesting

tallbeagle IT'S NOT THAT FAR GONE MINHYUK

father MINHYUK STAY AWAY FROM SANHA

mother B A D INFLUENCE

HOSH park minhyuk u spicy minx

dino-saur honestly not the worst stuff i've read

dino-saur could be kinkier

goodgemini 1>??/*@#*1>@>!

 

 

~

 

 

memegyu [image] binwoo explain

chachawoo oops

puppycat ;)

hitthekwan there is no heterosexual explanation 

memegyu that is truly pretty Gay

jisooschrist @ sanha in the back same

tallbeagle hehe 

tallbeagle idk i like it when binwoo kiss

tallbeagle it's like a drama

woozi u think now that like half the kpop industry is gay they'll start making dramas gay

HOSH BOI THEY SHOULD MAKE A DRAMA BASED OFF BINWOO'S RELATIONSHIP THAT SPARKED GAYPOP

therock SOMEONE WRITE IT

minghoe have junhui do it

mother JUNHUI WRITE THE SCRIPT FOR A BL DRAMA

dad TBH I would watch it.

hitthekwan WHO WOULDN'T

goodgemini Y'ALL ENOUGH ABOUT THE WRITING I'M SO EMBARRASED

dkcountryreturns no we can't stop,,, ur badboy x nerd fics are so cliche but so good

 

 

~

 

 

hitthekwan I LOVE NEW YORK

hitthekwan IT'S SO BIG AND LOUD

hitthekwan AND GAY PEEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE

angelface we're going to visit time square tonight, right?

jisooschrist yes we have to go

whatwoo yes, but that's not for a few hours

whatwoo i need to hit up the giant barnes & noble asap

whatwoo mingyu ur coming with me

memegyu yes sir

minghoe i'm going to stalk the theaters on broadway with chan and sanha

chachawoo bin and i are going to the giant toys r us and riding the on the ferris wheel if anyone wants to joing

woozi YO SEUNGCHEOL AND I WILL BE RIGHT OVER

verdone seungkwan and i are going to get some pizza and then meet up with my random friends from when i was 4 yrs old

hitthekwan i'm only doing it for the pizza

HOSH ur a brave man boo seungkwan

dkcountryreturns soonyoung and i are going to dance in the middle of the sidewalk and see if anyone will put money in a hat

angelface try not to get kidnapped by fangirls

jisooschrist (or fanboys)

HOSH we will ;)

father myungjun and i are taking minhyuk out for burgers

therock sanha why did u have to leave me :,(

tallbeagle i wanna see the cast of dear evan hanson sorry hyukie

tallbeagle we'll hang out for the rest of the week!!

therock okay :,)

 

 

~

 

 

' yo yo yo nyc proposal 2k17 '

 

jisooschrist todAY Is THE dAy

 

 

 

' bling bling wedding ring '

 

angelface TODAY IS THE DAY I GET MY FIANCE

angelface I'M GONNA HAVE TO NOT BE SOBER FOR THIS

 

 

y does jihan do this to us '

 

dad The dreaded day.

memegyu only an hour left

father until mayhem will ensue

verdone guys we are gonna have to split up

verdone half of us sing with jeonghan, half with jisoo

puppycat this is gonna be a mess no matter what

tallbeagle it's okay guys!! we can do it!!

dino-saur whoop whoop

mother i need caffeine so i don't pass out from stress

HOSH i'm already sweating and y'all k now how much i sweat

dkcountryreturns it's okay babe i still love u <3

HOSH <3

woozi ew sweat

HOSH I WILL FIGHT U So HARD

woozi see you in court sweaty :)

 

 

~

 

 

' OT19 '

 

angelface OK TIMES SQUARE TIME WHOOP WHOOP

jisooschrist LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO

dad Guys, chill. Let's us get dressed.

jisooschrist sorrrry im alittle anxious

angelface me too metoo

mother we'll meet u guys in the hotel lobby

 

 

' y does jihan do this to us '

 

mother good luck guys, we're gonna need it

 

 

~

 

 

   Times Square was busy this particular Saturday afternoon. Camps on field trips had teenagers roaming around the city, mouths and eyes wide open in awe. Business men and women shuffled across the busy streets, stone faced and most likely talking on the phone. Small children joyfully played around with the many costumed characters, as their parents groaned, knowing that these people would ask for money when their son or daughter pleaded for a picture. When a group of 19 young asian men entered, not a lot of people noticed. Some young teenagers stared, but all the men were surprising attractive; what are the odds that so many good looking people could all be together at once?

   Once the camera crew (although small) came out and the boys looked like they were starting something, the people on the streets started to notice them more. They were confused, these boys were speaking in their native tongue, and no one could make out the jumbled korean spilling from them. A tall boy with pastel hair took out his guitar, and began tuning. Everyone other than two young men split into half, facing each other. The forming crowd could tell that the group was nervous, but they ignored that in anticipation of what was to come. Once the instrument was tuned, the boy shakely counted off before strumming a tune only few people in the crowd would recognize.

  The two men who did not separate earlier both stood forward at the same time the song started and began to sing. It was obvious neither expected the other to do the same, but they were trained enough to continue through their surprise and confusion. Their voices complimented each other beautifully, and although it wasn't rehearsed before, they distributed the lines fairly. In the background, the rest of the group sang backup and brought the whole show together very nicely. The crowd has doubled since it began, and some young girls and boys with cellphones were even singing along. Although most did not understand the lyrics, they could feel the raw emotion coming from the main vocalists' voices. It made the crowd almost swoon, the amount of love that was spread through the song was palpable. 

  The background singers were clearly surprised, even relieved as they sang and saw how well their impromptu performance was going. A shorter man paused his singing to blow loudly in a tissue and wipe away stray tears before he continued to sing. As the song came to a close both of the men got down onto one knee. The crowd knew where this was going, so they began to clap and cheer as the two men both brought out similar looking boxes from their pockets. The background singers continued to softly hum the melody of the song as the two men gaped at the other's identical actions. The taller blond began talking first, although choked up from the overwhelming emotion he was feeling. No one except the group understood what he was saying, but their faces told it all. As the blond finished up his proposal, the smaller brunet started where he left off. The crowd assumed he was doing the same thing that his partner did, and the shouts and cheering from the crowd were louder than before as the two men nodded, embraced, and placed a ring on each other's hand. 

  At this point, most of everyone who was witnessing this event was crying. Women and young girls clutched at each other and the men tried to hide their emotions by coughing out their choked up feelings. 

 There was a lot of manly coughing.

 The group of 19 (all crying and manly coughing) embraced the newly engaged couple and turned to the crowd. The brunet fiance and another boy with light brown hair stepped forward. They explained (in english) who this group was and basically what happened. The crowd seemed pleased that they witnessed 2 of the best kpop groups of the year complete a wonderful proposal in front of them, and began to cheer once again. Phones were whipped out, pictures were taken, and soon the news of the newly engaged Jisoo and Jeonghan was spreading across social media like a wildfire.

 

 

~

 

 

' OT19 '

 

angelface DID U GUYS REALLY KNOW JISOO WAS GOING TO PROPOSE AS WELL AND NOT TELL ME!?!?!?!??!

angelface OR TELL HIM I WAS GOINGTO PROPOSE!!?!?!?

dad Oops.

angelface YEAH OOPS, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

angelface I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF WHEN JISOO STARTED SINGING AS WELL

jisooschrist i think that worked out wonderfully!!

jisooschrist hannie we're trending on twitter! this is awesome!

angelface MY HAIR IS TURNING GREY

angelface but yes my dear /fiance/, it is awesome

mother i had no idea it was going to turn out that well

chachawoo i'm glad we got it recorded!!

verdone i seriously thought that was gonna flop so hard

dkcountryreturns now i wanna get married :((((

woozi WE ALREADY HAVE TO ARRANGE AND PLAN AND GET THROUGH ONE WEDDING,,,, WE AREN'T GOING TO DO ANOTHER FOR LIKE 2334 YEARS OK

jisooschrist hehehe guys i'm gonna get MARRIED

jisooschrist to JEONGHAN

jisooschrist how dope is that

dino-saur i need a nap after all that

minghoe i need to sleep for like 37 years

father sanha and minhyuk are asleep in the uber with us

puppycat minhyuk snores

hitthekwan so does hansol

verdone i do NOT

hitthekwan ok whatever u say big boy

 

 

~

 

 

jisooschrist MARRIED

angelface omg

jisooschrist i love you so <333

angelface i love you to <333

dino-saur i love myself and chicken nuggets <33333333

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

haehaebae ok can we all admit that lee chan has had the best fucking glow up in kpop history

haehaebae like he went from this: [image]

haehaebae to this:  [image] [image]  [image]

haehaebae boi

goodgemini um

goodgemini who r u

mynameisminhoe i agree

mynameisminhoe even i didn't glow up that good

memgyu haechan? minho? how did u guys get in here???

bacon if i was younger i'd totally hyu chan ;)

dino-saur help me

taentedluv chan went from shark boi to lava gurl 

taentedluv bc he's hot

angelface STOP SAYING THIS STUFF ABOUT MY BABY

dino-saur i'm not ur baby jeonghan 

angelface dINO WHOSE BABY ARE YOU

dino-saur not urs

angelface D,: 

angelface JISOO BABY HOLD ME

jisooschrist one minute babe i need to figure out y there's suddenly a shit ton of random idols in thischat

tallbeagle hi donghyuk!! how's things!!!??? ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

haehaebae good goood good hbu babe

tallbeagle oh i'm good! thanks for asking! (*´∀`*)

bacon oh god he's adorable

bacon i'll take him pls

mother u got to admit the kaomojis make him 10 times cuter

puppycat ur welcome for showing them to him

bangthewang no baekhyun i want him

bacon go away jackson

woozi y r u all here

chachawoo i'm confused

kendoll can i take sanha

jinnyweasle ken no~~~ joon and i have claimed him already

angelface i think tf not u trick ass bitch

dkcountryreturns jeonghan calm down

whatwoo yo guys what's up

memegyu apparently sanha

notanidol i'll take him

wonwho GO BACK TO TWITTER JAE

notanidol y i ke s

lalalalisa i'll take him

HOSH LISA?!?!!?

lalalalisa us gg's will take him

wendyschickenfries yo i want him too

father this is overwhelming

tallbeagle stop it guys  ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

mynameisminhoe I JUST GASPED

mynameisminhoe PROTEC 

yoooojung I'LL TAKE U SANHA

father yoU HAVEN'T EVEN DEBUTED YET YOOJUNG GO FOCUS

yoooojung but sanha :,(

father yoojung...

yoooojung fine,,, i still can't believe they named up weki meki

no-yeon  twice will take him

heeheejun mine

therock ahem

mother heejun,,, no

taeyeonie i will have him

bacon GOTTA GO SORRY SANHA CATCH U LATER

 

bacon has left ' OT19 '

 

taentedluv awkward

verdone it isn't really ot19 rn now

minghoe IT WILL ALWAYS BE OT19

minghoe EVEN WITH THESE IRRELEVANT PPL

gd rude

minghoe oh god

minghoe EVERYONE EXCEPT U KING JIYONG

dad How is G-Dragon in our chatroom?

gd idk i just entered the code seungkwan sent out and here i am

gd also sanha ur cute as fuck so u can come to me if u want to

jisooschrist seungkwan,,,

hitthekwan ,,,, helloooo

therock SEUNGKWAN FOR THE PAST 15 MINUTES I'VE HAD TO ENDURE ALL THESE IDOLS FIGHTING OVER MY BOYFRIEND THIS IS ALL UR FAULT

therock EVEN GDRAGON WANTS HIM

therock WHO WOULD TURN DOWN GD

therock ESPECIALLY OVER ME

tallbeagle i would!

gd ouch

wendyschickenfries commitment right there

hitthekwan oops

hitthekwan also gd sunbaenim i can't believe u actually used the code

gd eh i was bored so y not

woozi ur a legend

gd so r u

dad Jihoon just fainted can somebody get me some grape juice?

HOSH lol on it!

taeyeonie jeonghan and jisoo congrats on your engagement by the way!

angelface THANK U TAEYEON

jisooschrist !!!! <3333 :DDDD

tallbeagle i'm so touched by u guys fighting over me but can u guys please leave the chat? it's very overwhelming for minhyuk :(((( he's very distressed right now  (╯•﹏•╰)

jinnyweasle oh dear~~ of course

lalalalisa sorry babes

heeheejun yo if u ever get tired of rocky hmu baby boi

angelface GET HIM OUT OF HERE

mother HEEJUN I'M CALLING JIHUN 

gd nice talking with y'all

wonwho we should do this again sometime

whatwoo no we shouldn't

kendoll baiiii

no-yeon later losers

woozi seungkwan can u remove them

hitthekwan on it!

hitthekwan sorrrry guys and gals thanks for joining it's been good

 

hitthekwan removed 15 users from chat

 

whatwoo oh thank god

therock THAT WAS SO PAINFUL

father we had like 30 people in here how is that possible

HOSH we had some Legends in here

HOSH seungkwan howd u do it

hitthekwan ;)

verdone i rly don't wanna know

mother i felt Threatened

angelface myungjun i'm next in line for sanha right? before all those others? :,)

mother yes u r jeonghan how many times do i have to tell u

talllbeagle u guys realize i have my own family right? lol :D

mother IRRELEVENT

 

 

~

 

 

puppycat if we were superheros in the marvel universe who would we be???

mother  IRON MAN

father does that mean i'm pepper potts

mother ;)

jisooschrist captain america

jisooschrist jeonghan is the bucky barnes to my steve rogers

jisooschrist they both had long hair too uwu

angelface but bucky is the winter soldier and evil

jisooschrist BUCKY IS NOT EVIL HE WAS ABUSED AND BRAINWASHED HEIS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM

angelface gasp u love bucky

angelface HELLO I'M JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES ALSO KNOWN AS BUCKY I LOVE STEVE ROGERS AKA CAPTAIN AMERICA AKA HONG JISOO

hitthekwan spiderman!!!!

verdone THAN I'M DEADPOOL

puppycat awh i wanted iron man

chachawoo can i be gru from despicable me

HOSH 1: nO

HOSH 2: THAT'S NOT EVEN MARVEL?!?! 

HOSH 3: GRU IS A VILLAIN

chachawoo he became a good guy :(

puppycat i'm ant man

puppycat dongmin can be sam wilson

puppycat love my marvel rarepairs

dad I will be Thor.

woozi hell no i am not being jane whatsherface

woozi i'll be magneto and u can be professer x

dad Magneto is a villain!?!?

woozi eh depends on the movie

HOSH i will be black widow

HOSH so i can be both hot and badass

dkcountryreturns guess that makes me the hulk lolool

HOSH u hulk out in bed ;))

memegyu soonyoung do me a favor and shut up

whatwoo can i be 

memegyu dude ur beast from xmen

memegyu i'm havoc

whatwoo isn't havoc dead

memegyu irrelevent

minghoe i want star lord

minghoe jun will be gamora

goodgemini what if i wanted to be wolverine

minghoe oh well

goodgemini :,)

puppycat is that everyone?

dino-saur meeee!!!

therock and sanha and i

angelface who do u think u are chan?

dino-saur idkk,,,

tallbeagle i wanna be pheonix! jean grey! she's awesome!

therock she is scary

tallbeagle !!! :DDD

therock so i am cyclops

memegyu ur my little bro ;)

therock get that winky face away from me ming ew

memegyu ok rude

goodgemini mingew is so accurate tho

goodgemini i will never recover from that one time

chachawoo what time?

goodgemini OH GOD LET ME SHOW YOU

goodgemini ONE MINUTE THERE'S A GIF OF IT SOMEWHERE

HOSH while he does that let me explain:

HOSH mingyu is so nasty

dkcountryreturns i don't think he knows that concept of germs

dad My goal in life is to train him to sneeze in him elbow, not his hand.

woozi and if he does sneeze into his hand wASH iT AFTERWARDS

goodgemini [link] tHIS IS THE NASTIEST SHIT

goodgemini HE SNEEZES INTO HIS HAND AND THEN GOES AND TOUCHES MY HAIR

goodgemini n A S T y

memegyu hahahaha

verdone IVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY MINGEW AS WELL

verdone [link] KIM MINGYU WHAT'S GOOD

father yuck

mother wonwoo are u srsly dating him

whatwoo unfortunately so

memegyu RUDE

minghoe  OUR FOOD AS WELL

minghoe [link] SNEEZES AND THEN HAND GIES RIGHT BACK TO THE INGREDIENTS

mother this is horrendous

memegyu ATLEAST I COVER MY MOUTH WHEN I SNEEZE

memegyu MARK FROM NCT DOESN'T EVEN COVER HIS MOUTH

jisooschrist well we aren't talking about mark, mingyu. we're talking about you

memegyu I'M BEING ATTACKED

 

hitthekwan changed memegyu's username to ' mingew '

 

mingew OK RUDE

mingew IM GONNA CHANGE IT BACK

 

hitthekwan locked mingew's username

 

mingew boo you whore

therock do u know there's a youtube video dedicated to mingyu being nasty

therock AND A WHOLE VIDEO OF JUST HIM SNEEZING WTF

jisooschrist do u know ppl actually have sneezing kinks

woozi LETS NOT GET INTO THAT PLS AND THANK U

 

 

~

 

 

verdone oh jisoo 

jisooschrist wat

verdone guys jae from day6 was here earlier right?

chachawoo correct

woozi ya wonho yelled at him or something

verdone he said jisoo is his bias in svt

verdone isn't that adorable 

verdone [image] look at his tweet

verdone ship

verdone oh wait

angelface ahem

angelface i think i need to talk to this ' jae ' character

jisooschrist ahhhh he's my day6 bias

jisooschrist he's from california as well!!

jisooschrist i should see if he wants to hang out sometime, he seems hilarious

angelface JISOO :,(((((((

jisooschrist yes jeonghan?

angelface i don't want you hanging out with him alone :,(((((((

dad Don't be pathetic Jeonghan.

angelface CHEOLLIE UR MY BEST FRIEND YOU SHOULD BE HELPING UR MANS OUT

jisooschrist babe we're engaged 

jisooschrist i wouldn't ever do something like that

dkcountryreturns it's true

dino-saur he is seventeen's gentleman, him being unloyal is as likely as mingyu being hygienic

dino-saur (not likely) 

angelface i know :/// ur boi just gets jealous sometimes

jisooschrist you have no reason to be jealous <333

angelface :))) <333

mingew AODFHWDJFNWOIFJOWAF

mingew LEAVE ME ALONE

mingew BABE HELP UR BOI OUT

whatwoo go wash your hands first and then we'll talk 

mingew :,)

woozi cheol remind me to get a big pack of portable hand sanitizer from bj's around christmas so i can gift it to mingyu

dad Ok.

therock day6 is actually so cool

therock like they actually play instruments and make their own music

therock of course we do as well but like imagine if we all played instruments

HOSH lol but then we couldn't dance!

therock WE COULD TRY

mother oh well

HOSH jihoon would probably play the triangle or something

woozi kwon soonyoung i'm go to haunt your soul when i die

HOSH ooh scary

woozi don't try me binch

dad Soonyoung don't even rile him up.

dkcountryreturns last time u did this we had to make excuses to manager hyung about the huge bruises all over ur legs

dkcountryreturns we said u fell dancing but it's hard to lie about HAND PRINTS AROUND UR ANKLES FROM GETTING DRAGGED ACROSS THE APARTMENT BY JIHOON

father that is Aggressive

woozi oops

 

hitthekwan i was looking for pictures of jihoon with us bc i was gonna make a " he protec but he also attac " meme but he never protecs

hitthekwan he attac: [link] but he also attac: [link] and attac: [link]

woozi I CAN PROTEC IF I WANNA PROTEC OK

HOSH sounds fake but ok

 

 

Chapter Text

therock okay so listen

therock idc what anybody says

therock seungcheol is the biggest snake on the block

dad Excuse me?

angelface i can't believe you would do this cheol :(

dad Do what?

puppycat all because of drugs, how dare you

whatwoo what are you talking about

jisooschrist shut up wonton u drugged me and framed me

goodgemini what

hitthekwan YOU TOO WEN JUNHUI 

hitthekwan YOU DRUGGIE

goodgemini what the fuck

hitthekwan YOU FRAMED MY BF

chachawoo what are y'all talking about?

father u didn't know?

father loser

chachawoo ok rude

dad Ok, what is this all about?

tallbeagle SEVENSCHEME

mingew seven what

HOSH  sevenscheme, rhymes with seventeen

dkcountryreturns very clever, very clever

whatwoo jisoo did u call me wonton

jisooschrist i can't believe snakecheol, wonton, and july would do this to poor jihoon

woozi what

dino-saur rest in pieces lee jihoon, you will be missed

woozi ???

minghoe sometimes,,, it's like i can still hear his voice,,,,

woozi i'm not dead you twat

mother seungcheol i can't believe you would kill your own boyfriend

therock technically soonyoung was his boyfriend

woozi what

HOSH LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT

father seungcheol i have one question for you...

dad I'm still confused, but sure.

father do you regretti the spaghetti

mother ok that's it we're divorcing 

therock ur

therock not

therock married

dad Spaghetti???? What?????

angelface you poisoned jihoonie's spaghetti and killed him

dad !?!?!??!?!?!?!?

dad I did no such thing?!

woozi why did you do that cheol wtf

dkcountryreturns bc of the drugs

minghoe bc jihoon was gonna tell the cops so cheol needed to shut him up

puppycat by killing him!

dad I would never!

woozi sounds fake but okay

dad Jihoon!!

father i can't believe you seungcheol,,,

jisooschrist *snakecheol

 

 

 

~

 

 

dino-saur omg guys i just fell down the stairs

tallbeagle tragic

mother sanha,, that's not nice!?!?!

woozi wait i was gonna say that

minghoe jihoon you aren't nice so that makes sense

woozi i don't have the energy to feel annoyed.

tallbeagle ok

tallbeagle i am totally, incredibly, disheartened that you managed to be stupid enough to fall down the stairs. You must've done that a lot as a child, must've really messed up your brain.

goodgemini *sips tea*

dino-saur sanha choke

angelface WHAT THE

angelface LEE CHAN

mingew wait chan continue

tallbeagle i'm gonna block u chan

dino-saur try me bitch

dkcountryreturns im gonna have heart failure what is happening

dino-saur yoon sanha is not my best friend anymore

therock welp i'm not complaining

tallbeagle i will not allow lee chan to be my bff until he admits he is wrong

verdone chan does that mean i'm your best friend again

dino-saur ,,

dino-saur unfortunately

verdone u know what

verdone i'll take it

hitthekwan i thought i was your best friend :(

verdone you're my boyfriend, which is like the ULTIMATE best friend

hitthekwan okay :)

dad Boys, why are you fighting?

dino-saur none of ur business

angelface lee chan don't speak like that to your father

tallbeagle u just got scolded lol

mother calm ur tits sanha

tallbeagle i don't have tits

mother THAT IS NOT THE POINT

dino-saur mom i did nothing wrong sanha is attacking me for breathing

tallbeagle LIES

tallbeagle THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE I HAVE HEARD IN MY 17 YEARS OF LIFE

dino-saur NO IT ISN'T

tallbeagle YEAH OKAY

dino-saur I CAN'T BELIEVE

tallbeagle THEN BELIEVE

dino-saur nO

dino-saur I WON'T DO ANYTHING YOU TELL ME ANYMORE

dino-saur UM HELLO???

dino-saur IT'S BEEN 5 MINUTES YOON SANHA DID U RUN AWAY

dino-saur pussy

 

 

~

 

 

whatwoo ok but what happened 

mother i have never seen sanha be mean

chachawoo i got a little nauseous watching it

angelface my baby,,,, chan,,,, being mean to my other baby,,,, sanha,,,, who was being mean to my baby chan,,,,,,

minghoe i think it was rather entertaining

goodgemini me too

mingew well that makes sense

mingew y'all are kinda evil

minghoe try me nasty

jisooschrist it's obvi they disagreed on something?

dad I don't know, it was kind of disturbing...

father idek sanha was so mad he was exercising

puppycat say what now

therock sanha????? exercise?????

father ikr

father i saw him sprinting on the treadmill while listening to EXO's album

minghoe ooh boi

minghoe have u heard the eve

minghoe i'm pretty sure i had an orgasm just listening to the song

minghoe but then,,, i watched their stages of it

minghoe i have NEVER nutted so hard in my life as a horny chinese boy

goodgemini i would be mad that you've been getting off to exo but i relate so hard

chachawoo ANYWAY 

chachawoo have you guys seen sanha lately??

chachawoo his phone has gone straight to voicemail and i've called him like 7 times

chachawoo also he left his duck plushie which he takes everywhere so,,,

mother oh gof

mother did someone kidnap sanha

verdone gof

mother u know what hansol go choke

mother iM WORRIED ABOUT MY SON

angelface guys chan is missing as well

mingew well shit

HOSH he took his phone with him?? someone call him??

dkcountryreturns i'm on it boo

dkcountryreturns goes straight to voicemail as well

whatwoo this is unfortunate

jisooschrist omg shut up wonton

whatwoo don't call me wonton

jisooschrist wonton

 

jisooschrist changed whatwoo's username to ' wonton '

 

wonton ok rude

hitthekwan chan probably went and murdered sanha bc of their disagreement

woozi that,,, is very unlikely

hitthekwan is it though?

woozi yes?

hitthekwan but

hitthekwan /is it?/

woozi it

woozi /is?/ 

dad Anyway.

dad We should probably go find those two.

HOSH seok and i will walk around downstairs

chachawoo bin and i will check our building as well

therock lmao goodluck

woozi this is your boyfriend minhyuk

therock ,,,

therock bin dongmin im joining u

 

 

~

 

 

tallbeagle hi guys!!! :D

dino-saur why hasn't anybody texted in this for like 3 hours??

verdone whoop whoop sanha isn't dead

angelface WHERE ARE YOU GUYS

mother WE ARE SO WORRIED

dad Why were you guys fighting?

jisooschrist u guys better have gotten something to eat bc i accidently ate all of the kimbap

hitthekwan wait wtf

woozi chan come home cheol won't go to sleep untilyou return and i'm tired as shit

dino-saur sorry!! i'll be right there!

father sanha is there leftovers

therock they didn't even say they got food

tallbeagle don't worry~ i got you guys food!

therock do u know i love you

tallbeagle :D

mingew wait so what was up with you and chan earlier?

dino-saur LOL

tallbeagle oh, we had a slight disagreement over whether phineas and ferb can be considered a kids show

wonton what

dino-saur so we fought but now we're best friends again!!! :)))

dino-saur lmao sorry hansol you're demoted again

verdone yikes

dkcountryreturns aju yikes

 

 

~

 

 

woozi i just want to let you guys know that i love you and i know i act grumpy like all the time but i actually really care for each and every one of you and want you guys to be happaoiy and safe and eating well and i'm thankful that i have yall in my life ok goodnight

angelface happaoiy

puppycat happaoiy

HOSH happaoiy

therock happaoiy

dad Happaoiy.

mingew happaoiy

hitthekwan happaoiy

dkcountryreturns happaoiy

dino-saur happaoiy

goodgemini happaoiy

jisooschrist happaoiy

father happaoiy

mother happaoiy

wonton happaoiy

chachawoo happaoiy

verdone happaoiy

tallbeagle happaoiy

minghoe happaoiy

woozi i actually hate every single one of you

woozi i take it back i want all of you to CHOKE

 

 

Chapter Text

 

woozi OKAY

woozi FIRSTLY I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I AM,,, DISGUSTED

chachawoo is firstly a word

jisooschrist yes

chachawoo ok continue

woozi I JUST TRY TO LIVE MY LIFE

woozi MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS

HOSH ya okay

woozi BEING A KIND, GOOD SAMARITAN

dad HAH

dad I mean,

dad Of course, Jihoon.

woozi i'm going to ignore that bc i'm traumatized but u are forgiven not forgotten cheol

dad whats happening jihoon?

woozi where is fucking soonyoung

dkcountryreturns 0.0 what did he do this time

woozi HE 

woozi HE SENT ME NUDES

minghoe he did what now

angelface BAHAHAHA

angelface i mean

angelface oh hoon i'm sorry b

woozi shut the fuck up snake

woozi anygay

woozi SOONYOUNG WHERE TF R U 

HOSH h-hello

woozi YOU FUCKING CUNT I DIDNT WANT TO SEE THAT GOD IS MY CONTACT EVEN NEAR SEOKMIN'S DEAR GOD THE ONLY DICK I WANT TO BE SEEING IS SEUNGCHEOL'S AND POSSIBLY GONG YOO'S NOT UR SKINNY PENIS JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO BLEACH MY EYES I NEED TO START GOING TO CHURCH I NEED TO JUMP INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO JUST ANYTHING TO GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY MIND 

dkcountryreturns 0////0 soon u were gonna send me dick pics?

dkcountryreturns i'm blushing ur so cute

chachawoo i

hitthekwan seokmin the-

verdone soon can u send me them too

therock the fuck did i come back to

goodgemini hansol no

verdone hansol yes

dad I would be mad about what you said about Gong Yoo, but I agree wholeheartedly that he is a gorgeous man and I would not mind getting nude pictures from him.

jisooschrist me too b

angelface jisoo no

jisooschrist jisoo yes

dino-saur can y'all stop with the no yes thing i am Tired

puppycat chan no

dino-saur bin i will hunt you down

chachawoo pls don't hurt my boyfriend

puppycat ya pls don't hurt his boyfriend

mother bin shut up 

therock ya bin shut up

mother minhyuk shut up

therock D:

woozi back to me

woozi soonyoung i deserve an apology

mingew  yeah soonyoung apologize

woozi shut up nasty

mingew I BREATHED

HOSH i-i'm sorry

woozi thank u

HOSH NOT LOL UWU BITCH HOPE U LIKED THIS DICK

woozi soonyoung u better run i'm going to deck you so hard you won't wake up for weeks

HOSH GOTTA LUHAN

wonton ok bitch too soon

 

 

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angelface What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

father jeonghan what

wonton this is relatable 

tallbeagle um ok!!

dad Jeonghan, what the Hell.

hitthekwan y did u capitalize hell

dad Why didn't I?

hitthekwan DONT ANSWER MY QUESTION WITH A QUESTION U SNAKE

jisooschrist seungkwan don't talk to ur dad (number 1) like that

angelface jisoo why won't u acknowledge my cute message

angelface wait

angelface wAIT

angelface OOPS

angelface FUCK WRONG ONE I WANNA FUCKING JUMP OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE I'MADFKHJSDFFJDHK 

chachawoo what is happening 

dkcountryreturns why the brooklyn bridge

angelface ok i'm starting over

angelface jisoo is 

S
     O
    O
     o
     o
      o
     o
     。
    。
   .
   .
    .
    .
              cute

jisooschrist awh ily han ur a sweetheart :D

angelface WOW I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU I-

goodgemini he didn't even say anything special 

goodgemini ur sucha loser

tallbeagle that's mean D:

dino-saur junhui is mean

tallbeagle that's true

goodgemini i would be offended but it's true

 

 

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mother JINWOO EATS HIS MACARONI. WITH A SPOON.

mother DIVORCE: HAPPENING

therock YALL. AREN'T. MARRIED. I'M GONNA. KERMIT.

therock but anybi eating macaroni with a spoon isn't weird?? i love macaroni

puppycat i love spoons

verdone ok

HOSH WHO EATS MACARONI WITH A SPOON I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE

 

father MOI

therock me bih

dkcountryreturns m-me

HOSH that's why you're my favorite (๑♡⌓♡๑)

puppycat i do

angelface TF NO HOW DO Y'ALL USE SPOONS IT'S NOTLIKE IT'S SOUP

jisooschrist i use a spoon

angelface WOW HELLO FELLOW SPOON USERS SWELL DAY ISN'T IT

wonton i use a fork

mingew I ALSO USE A FORK BC I'M AN INTELLECTUAL

minghoe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

minghoe MINGYU????? AN INTELLECTUAL????? IN THIS ECONOMY????

minghoe HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

minghoe anyway i use a spoon bc i'm not a dumbass like certain ppl

goodgemini did u just call me a dumbass

minghoe yes

goodgemini gasp

tallbeagle I USE A SPOON o(〃^▽^〃)o

dino-saur what did forks do to y'all

mother EXACTLY JUSTICE FOR FORKS

woozi spoons are easier smh

hitthekwan i use a fork 0.0

verdone THE LOML WOW SO PROUD SO HAPPY TO BE UR BOYF

chachawoo spoon

puppycat spoon yes fun

father seungcheol how about u my old friend

dad I use a spork.

 

 

~

 

 

dad Guys, where did you go? It's been a half hour?

 

 

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dad Um, it's been 3 hours what did I do? Where did you guys go?

 

 

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dad IT'S BEEN LITERALLY 2 DAYS WHY DID MY SPORK KILL THIS CHAT.

 

 

~

 

 

woozi HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

angelface HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (2)

mother HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (3)

dad I can't believe you guys.

verdone ily dad mwah saranghae

hitthekwan mwah saran gay

puppycat mwah zaranghay

father mwah cilantro

jisooschrist mwah saucisson

HOSH mwah spaghetti

minghoe mwah salad

chachawoo mwah scissoring

wonton mwah salami

tallbeagle mwah bologna 

mingew mwah zarg

therock mwah steak

dkcountryreturns my sarangi

goodgemini mwah sing sang sung

dino-saur mwah centipede 

mother mwah celiac 

woozi mwah c-section 

angelface mwah serial code

dad You know what...

dad You guys can Choke.

woozi gladly daddy

dad ENOUGH