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Deck the Crypt

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Deck the Crypt

“Tis the season to get sozzled. Fah la la la la la la la la.” Spike staggered through the Restfield Cemetery. He heard a clattering sound coming from the crypt as he neared it. Eyes narrowed he entered his home. He looked around for an intruder. What he saw made his mouth drop open. There was gold tinsel on the sarcophagus and what looked like handmade paper decorations hung from the ceiling. There was even a ratty, little tree in the corner next to the telly, adorned with shiny, multi coloured baubles.
“Bloody hell!”
There was only one bint crazy enough to walk into the lair of vampire and decorate it. He thought he got a whiff of the Bit when he walked in, but she was around a lot of the last couple of days.
“I know you’re still there, Bit.”
The top of the sarcophagus moved and clattered to the floor. A dusty Dawn stumbled out of it. “Ooh – thank God. I don’t think I could have stayed in there any longer. Eeew. Did you know that it stinks in there?”
Spike glowered in her direction but the intention was a little compromised by the fact that his lip was twitching in effort to supress a smile.
Dawn giggled, “Merry Christmas, Spike.”
He rolled his eyes instead. “Nibblet? What the bloody hell are you doing here, pet?”
“Duh - I’m decorating.”
Sighing he looked around again at the state of his crypt. One thing you could say about the Summers women was they never ceased to surprise.
“You’re insufferable, you know,” he said. “Someday I am going to teach you to be afraid of vampires.”
Dawn shrugged, “You’re not a proper vampire.”
“Oi – you cheeky bint!”
“You’re tamed like a dog or a cat.”
“The hole you’re digging is getting and bigger, pet. Mind you don’t fall into it.”
“Tamed wild cat or wolf.”
“Oh shut up.” Spike checked his watch. “It’s a bit late for you to be out, isn’t it.”
“I climbed out the window.”
“You shouldn’t be wandering in the dark. Anything nasty could get a bite out of you.”
She crossed her arms. “Buffy’s been climbing out the window for years.”
“Well, the Slayer has superpowers and you don’t. Unless you count being nosy.”
She punched him in the arm. “I’m not nosy.”
He gestured towards the door, “You’d better get home before Mum and Sis discover you’ve been tormenting the Big Bad.”
“You want me to go?” Her big eyes implored him to let her stay.
“Fine, a half hour isn’t going to hurt but then you better leave.”
“Spike?” she asked, sounding suddenly nervous.
He turned to look at her. “Will you walk me home after?”
The vampire smiled. “I couldn’t let a delicious morsel like you wander around unaccompanied. No nasty will get his hands on my Little Bit while I’m around.”

The end