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    Summary

    Gai accidentally becomes first lady of Konoha.

    Language:
    English
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    7,637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    688
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  2. 17 Feb 2018

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  3. 16 Feb 2018

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  4. 15 Feb 2018

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  5. 15 Feb 2018

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    "Aha, yes! Kakashi and I are sworn rivals since we were children," Gai assures them. "I promise you that I speak for his pure and noble heart today."

    "Pure and noble?" the businesswoman on the right says skeptically. Gai already has her pegged as the squeaky wheel of the bunch.

    "The Hokage one hundred supports the efforts of the Downtown Business Association! He understands that a healthy and thriving downtown means a healthy and thriving Konoha." Well, if he doesn't already, Gai will make sure he does. "For example, just the other day the Hokage suggested to me—" he tries to think of something that might demonstrate Kakashi's fabulous business acumen, "—that what Konoha needs is a store that sells activewear!"

    "Active...wear…?" businessman number one asks.

    Kakashi will forgive him this. Or murder him. One of the two. "Indeed!" Gai says forcefully. "Have you ever thought about the need for shinobi to have clothing they can truly move around in? Clothing that breathes and stretches with them? Why, the Hokage has often spoken to me about the beauty of spandex, and I'm sure he isn't the only one who believes what downtown Konoha needs most of all is a spandex activewear store. Support the shinobi community, and the shinobi community will support you. Mutual cooperation!" Gai pounds the table for emphasis and grins.

    "We've never considered that before," says the businesswoman to his right. "We shall… take it under advisement."

    On the way out the door, he can hear her whisper, "Are you sure that's really the Hokage's…"

    "Shhh, Minako, he's a shinobi! They have good ears."

    Gai does have good ears, he's very proud of them. His father used to say they were shaped like sesame seed buns. Actually, maybe what the downtown core needs is a shop that sells sesame seed buns, which he'll be sure to suggest to them next time.

    "Let me go to their next meeting," he tells Kakashi. "I've filled an entire notebook, see, with good ideas for them." He shows Kakashi the notebook. It has holographic turtles on the cover.

    "Nice notebook," says Kakashi, deadly compliment machine of five nations.

    "It's a magnificent notebook," Gai agrees.

    "So you're," Kakashi stretches on the bed, "getting the hang of this?"

    "What?" Gai asks. "What's there to get the hang of? I'm your dearest rival. Do you think showing up to a few events and giving speeches is beyond my abilities? You're really underestimating me now!"

    Kakashi studies him. It's a bit unnerving, without the mask. "No one's been giving you a hard time then?" he asks. Gai is positive that he can't even take a shit without Kakashi finding out about it from the Anbu, but it's nice of Kakashi to worry. More than nice, actually. It's heartwarming. Like Kakashi is legwarmers but for the heart. He makes a note to tell Kakashi about this brilliant new metaphor, when Kakashi is less likely to hit him on the head with a blunt object. Gai is not supposed to talk about legwarmers in Kakashi's presence anymore.

    ...

    Akane expresses alarm when Gai sneezes five times in a row and nearly knocks over a potted plant with the force of his jutsu. "Maybe you should stay home today," she says, but Gai shakes his head furiously.

    "No, a man of the Maito clan never goes back on his word." He blows his nose into the handkerchief she offers him. His eyes are swollen. "This is my duty! Peace and prosperity among all the inhabitants of Konoha. I can't disappoint the gardeners who have come so far to compete in their ultimate championship."

    "It's not that far," Akane says. "Most of them just walked a couple of blocks."

    "A couple of blocks by feet is a journey of a thousand years by the heart," Gai insists. He dabs at his eyes. "Give me some more of Sakura's allergy medicine. I'll be fine. It takes more than this to defeat Maito Gai."

    He cuts a pretty pathetic picture, he's aware, but surprisingly that makes him all the more appealing to the gardeners. "Oh you poor dear guest judge," says an older woman, "you shouldn't have come" — while Yamanaka Sayumi tells him he needs to take better care of himself. They send their children to tag Gai along and help with anything he needs, which mostly ends up being them tripping over Gai's chair, and Gai having to pick them up and put them on his lap.

  6. 13 Feb 2018

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  7. 12 Feb 2018

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  8. 12 Feb 2018

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  9. 11 Feb 2018

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  10. 11 Feb 2018

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  11. 11 Feb 2018

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  12. 11 Feb 2018

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  13. 11 Feb 2018

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  14. 11 Feb 2018

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  15. 11 Feb 2018

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  16. 11 Feb 2018

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  17. 10 Feb 2018

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  18. 10 Feb 2018

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  19. 10 Feb 2018

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  20. 10 Feb 2018

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