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Blood and Cocoa

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"Uh, Matt, what are you doing?"

"I got this."

"Yeah, I see that. But –"

"Don't start. It's good."

"Not if you're up on a ladder it's not."

"Shut it."

"I'm just saying that last y—"

"Shut. It. We agreed not to talk about that."

"No, you agreed. I just didn't argue."

"Hence, you agreed. You had the chance to speak. Now forever hold your peace."

"We're not getting married, you know."

"It's the same principle."

"If you say so."

"I do."

"So. What are you doing?"

"Hanging the lights."

"I can see that."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Because of the way you're doing it."

"How else are you supposed to hang lights?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure a trapeze harness isn't involved."

"I'm not in, no. You know what, just shut it."

"Do you need me to move the ladder?"

"Why, so you can say 'I told you so' when I fall off the roof?"

"Wait, you're going on the roof now?"

"How else am I going to get the lights up there?"

"Um."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. If you don't have any helpful ideas..."

"Look, let's try not to spend this Christmas in the ER, okay?"

"That was one time!"

"Let's not make it twice."

"Go away."

*

"Matt? Matt?"

"I'm good!"

"I'm pretty sure that loud crashing noises aren't supposed to be involved in hanging Christmas lights."

"I'm okay!"

"Matt... Oh, for crying out loud. How the hell did you –"

"Just shut up and help me get down."

"How'd you –"

"Hoot."

"ER?"

"If you say I told you so, so help me, God –"

"I wasn't going to! Just –"

"Don't say it. Just get the keys. After you help me get down."

"So I take it a cup of cocoa is out of the question then."

"Maybe after the stitches. And the morphine. And maybe a cast."

"Right."

"Are you going to get the keys?"

"Yes, dear. Are you going to bleed all over the inside of the truck?"

"Probably. Unless you bring a towel, too."

"Got it."