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PinkieBob PiePants: Band Geeks

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It was sunny out in Ponyville. We take a look at Carousel Boutique, where Rarity works. It looks like she was playing her clarinet, which is pretty random. She continues to play her clarinet until the doorbell rang. When she opens it, she found a pony vet.

"Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the streets and I understand that you have a dying animal in the premises-" the vet said, only getting cut off with Rarity slamming the door on his face. But before she could continue playing her clarinet, her phone rang.

"Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the-" she said before playing a clarinet note.

"Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh ol' chum?" Suri Polomare answered.

Rarity gasped. "Suri Polomare from band class?"

"I hear you're playing the cash register now." Suri replied.

"Sometimes. Uh, how's your day?" The purple-maned mare said.

"Fine. Anyways, I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Bubble Bowl next week." Suri replied.

"The ba-ba-ba... The ba-ba-ba... The ba-ba-ba?!?!" Rarity stuttered in shock.

"That's right. I'm living your dreams Rarity. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us."

"Ohh, uhh, I... I, uhh..." Rarity said.

"I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now." Suri teased, but before she could end the call, Rarity stopped her.

"Hold it! It just so happens that I don't just sell outfits, I do have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, Fancy Girl?!"

"Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!" With that, Suri hung up with Rarity.

"I gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor."

The following day, posters have been posted around Ponyville. Applejack walks up to one.

"Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?" The next scene cuts to Trixie.

"Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Ponyville." The next scene goes to Cherilee.

"And be forever adored by thousands of ponies you don't know." Then the camera focuses on Mr. Cake.

"Not to mention free refreshments." Last but not the least, the next scene switches to Shining Armor, who is taking a shower.

"Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp."

Once it's 8:30 PM, Rarity was pulling a cart of musical instruments.

"Stupid musical rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor." She said.

The camera cuts to an old meeting building. Everypony were seated, instruments in hooves, all the while mumbling some blah's.

"People, people, settle down. Okay now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?" Rarity asked the others. Trixie raised her hoof.

"Do instruments of torture count?" she asked.

"No." Rarity replied. Sonata raised her hoof next.

"Is jalapeño an instrument?"

"No Sonata. Jalapeño is not an instrument." However, Sonata raised her hoof again.

"A sombrero is not an instrument either." Sonata lowers her hoof once more.

"That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you." Rarity chuckled, while everypony simply stood silent.

"So when do we get the free food?" Mr. Cake asked.

"OK, try to repeat after me." Rarity said before playing six notes on her clarinet. "Brass section, go."

The brass section consisting of the Cutie Mark Crusaders were following Rarity's notes, albeit badly.

"Good, now the wind." The wind section consisting of Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Cherilee did the same thing, but still badly.

"And the drums." The drum section consisting of Pinkie Pie, Big Mac and Spike made the mistake of blowing their drumsticks since they misinterpreted them as wind instruments, and as a result, their drumsticks went flying towards Rarity, pinning her towards the wall.

"Too bad that didn't kill me," she mumbled. Once the incident subsided, Rarity was now back in place.

"Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everypony to stand in straight rows of five." But before doing so, Pinkie raised her hoof.

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" She asked.

"No Pinkie, that's a chorus line." Rarity replied. However, Sonata misunderstood what it meant.

 "Kicking? I wanna do some kicking!" Sonata then kicked Applejack in the leg, instantly aggravating her.

"Ow! Why you...! Why I oughta...!" The latter said pouncing on Sonata before beating her up until they both rolled outside and the doors slammed shut.

"AAAAAHHHH!!!" Sonata screamed from outside. Everyone stared at the door until they burst open, revealing Sonata's head.

"Whoever is the owner of the white carriage, you left it unattended." She said before trotting back in, revealing that Applejack lodged a trombone on her body. Every time she takes a step, a trombone note is heard. Once she sits down, she makes another trombone sound, before opening her mouth to reveal another one. The others stared at her.

Once the second day arrives, the band were playing Semper Fidelis horribly.

"Okay, everypony. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon, move!" Rarity said. However, the flag twirlers spun their flags so hard, that they take off into the sky and crash right into a hot air balloon, with the result is a massive explosion. Once it's over, Dr. Whooves plays Taps on his trumpet, while the others mourn, minus Rarity, who just simply lied down on the ground.

When the third day arrives, the hall was nearly empty except for Rarity and Trixie.

"How's that multi-instrument solo coming, Trixie?" The former asked.

"It's tremendous, you wanna see?" The latter said. She started playing the trumpets and harmonicas simultaneously, only running out of breath and passing out due to the lack of oxygen.

The fourth day has arrived and that's where things started turning out of control. Everypony else have gathered.

"Well, this is our last night before the show. And I know that none of you have improved since we began..." The camera cuts to Sonata chewing on a trumpet. The scene cuts back to Rarity.

"...but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?" Rarity told them.

"CORRECT!" Trixie shouted after literally taking what Rarity said.

"So, if we played loud, people might think we're good. Everypony ready?" Rarity said. The others prepared their instruments.

"And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!" Unfortunately, they took Rarity's advice a bit too literally, resulting in a really loud, ear-shattering noise. Due to the loud noise, all of the windows of the hall shattered. The scene cuts back inside with Rarity, who's face has been distorted beyond recognition, her mane being completely messed up, and to top it all off, her baton breaks in half.

"Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no pony can hear us." Rarity suggested. However, it is the last straw to the others.

"Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some pony didn't try to play with dusty, messy hooves!" a random stallion said. However, Mr. Cake has taken it as an insult.

"What did you say, punk?!" Mr. Cake said, angered about the insult.

"Dusty... Messy... Hooves!" The stallion said once again, shouting. Mr. Cake then imitates a boxer's 'bring it on' gesture.

"Well, these hooves ain't for just makin' cakes." The latter replied.

"Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!" The former retaliated. However, before a fight ensues, Pinkie interrupts them by pushing them apart.

"No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off." She said. Still, this doesn't stop everypony from getting into a huge rumble. A random mare spoke up.

"Oh, so now the talking cotton candy is going to preach us." She said.

"Wait, wait. I know tensions are high..." Rarity said, only getting the answer she never wished she had. Everypony broke out in a massive brawl. Shining and Flash Sentry were yelling at each other, only having the latter get slammed by a drum, courtesy of Scootaloo.

"There's a deposit on that equipment, people!" Rarity warned. Still, it fell to deaf ears. Everypony soon started using the instruments as weapons. The stallion from earlier and Mr. Cake were charging at each other using oboes as lances, only screeching to a halt, shortly before getting themselves squished together by Cherilee using cymbals.

"Settle down, please!" Rarity once again called out, but to no avail as always. Applejack and Lyra Heartstrings were fighting, using drumsticks and a xylophone, respectively. Applejack breaks off Lyra's xylophone keys, causing her to retreat. Sonata once again kicked Applejack's leg just like before. Applejack soon threatened Sonata by attempting to lodge another trombone on her, forcing Sonata to run away, with Applejack hot on her tail (sort of). The clock soon reaches 10 and everyone stops fighting, but for some reason, Pinkie was fighting with a fake hoof.

"Hey, class is over." Vinyl Scratch said. The others soon followed her, not until Rarity slams the door open.

"Well, you did it," she said sadly. "You took my one chance in happiness...and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. I really expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them that you all died in a marching accident. So thanks," she said, sobbing. "Thanks for nothing!" After saying the last line, Rarity leaves.

"You're welcome." Sonata said. Pinkie then spoke up.

"What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in her hour of need, and we failed her. Rarity's always been there for us when it was convenient for her. Derpy, when your little Ditzy was trapped in a fire, who rescued her?"

"A firepony." Derpy answered.

"And Shining, when your heart gave out from all that training, who revived you?" Pinkie asked.

"Some pony in an ambulance." Shining replied.

"Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Rarity is a firepony, or some pony in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band." Pinkie continued.

"Yeah, for the firepony!" A stallion said. Everypony chorused with a single 'hooray'.

"Now let's make Rarity proud." Pinkie said before holding up a baton. "A one, a two, a skiddly diddly doo." Pinkie said before the next scene cuts to Rarity sadly walking to the entrance of the Bubble Bowl stage.

"I knew this was gonna happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that..." Rarity said, but before she could finish her sentence, Suri was already there. "...Suri doesn't find out! Suri! AH! What are you doing here?!"

"Oh I just came to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?" Suri replied smugly.

"Uh, they couldn't come. They... died." Rarity answered nervously.

"Then who's that?" Suri pointing behind Rarity. The latter turned around and realized it's her band.

"AAH! THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!" Rarity shouted.

"We're ready to perform, Rarity." Pinkie said.

"Well, Rare, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look." Suri said. Pinkie is then seen dancing, with a ridiculous look on her face.

"That's her... eager face." Rarity said. Suri simply laughed while everypony go inside the Bubble Bowl stage. The stage soon starts rising to the top.

"Well, I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town." Rarity said.

"That's the spirit, Rarity." Pinkie replied. The stage soon emerged from a football field.

"Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Ponyville Super Band!" The football announcer said. A crowd of live-action humans is shown.

"These are some ugly looking ponies." Sonata said.

"Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps." Pinkie replied.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Mr. Cake said.

"Alright everypony." Rarity said, nervous. She took a glance at Suri, who just simply grinned at her while bouncing both of her eyebrows.

"Let's get this over with. One, two, three, four..." Much to her shock, the band was able to play a wonderful intro. Rarity opened her eyes as Trixie plays a keyboard. Pinkie soon began singing.

 

Sweet Victory - David Glen Eisley

The winner takes all

it's the thrill of one more kill

The last one to fall

Rarity stares in shock, despite her band's mistakes four days ago.

Will never sacrifice their will

Sonata then created a few beats on her futuristic drums, and the stage erupts with fire for special effects. Applejack is seen playing a Gibson Flying V, while Mr. Cake is seen playing a key-tar.

Don't ever look back

with the world closin' in

Be on the attack

with your wings on the wind

Oh, the games will begin

Suri stared in shock. Rarity simply gave her a smug grin, throws away her baton and starts conducting with her hooves.

And it's sweet, sweet,

sweet victory, yeah

And it's ours for the taking,

it's ours for the fight,

Suri faints as paramedics carry her away. Rarity then gave her a smug wave and goes to the front of the stage as fire erupts around her once again.

And it's sweet, sweet,

sweet victory, yeah

Cherilee soon wildly played her guitar.

And the one who's last to fall

Rarity soon did a few dance moves in sync with Sonata's drums before jumping up in the air and the entire scene freezes.

We will have sweet, sweet

sweet victory...

Everything soon faded to black as the story ends.

 

FIN!