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ShadowKingLegette's EPIC Rap Battles

Chapter Text

Michael Jordan practices some jumpshots. Goku appears in the gym.

Goku: Excuse me.

Jordan stops and dribbles over to Goku.

Jordan: What's up?

Goku: I was told a guy named Michael Jordan was practicing somewhere around here. Are you him?

Jordan: Yeah.

Goku: Good. *phew* What a relief. I thought I had the wrong person again.

Jordan: Need something?

Goku: My name's Goku and...

Jordan: I know who you are. My kid watches your show.

Goku rubs the back of his neck embarrassed.

Goku: Oh... Then I guess we can skip the introductions and get on with it.

Jordan: Get on with what?

Goku: An epic rap battle.

Jordan: Another one huh? *shakes head*

Goku: Yeah, sorry.

Michael turns and shoots the ball from half court. Nothing but net soon follows.

Goku: Nice shot.

Jordan: Ready?

Goku gets serious.

Goku: You bet.

START!
Goku: The name's Goku. Hi. How's it going Mike?
From what I hear you're a popular guy, someone anyone can like.
But since this is a Rap Battle, I must give you my absolute best.
Think of this as Japan vs The U.S. In other words the East vs West.

Michael chuckles.

Jordan: Basketball legend vs Cartoon hero, I never thought this would take place.
Especially meeting the man Son Goku across from me face to face.
What's next? Vegeta vs Kobe? *shrugs* Man that would be crazy.
I hope whoever put you up to this won't do a Peach vs Daisy.

Writer: I wont.

Goku and Jordan look around the gym. When they couldn't find the source they shrugged and continued.

Goku: It's my turn again and for you, I'll show you what I can do. *turns Super Saiyan*
Is this enough? Or are you ready to experience this... *powers up to a new level* Super Saiyan 2.
I learned another trick while I was dead. You want to check it out? *powers up to the next stage*
This is what I call Super Saiyan 3. What I was just telling you about.

Michael shakes his head with a smile.

Jordan: If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to throw your hair in my face.
I'm a cue ball like Nappa. My hair has been gone for years, not leaving a single trace.
I get it. Super Saiyans come with the hair, if you're not bald like me.
Then again Toriyama didn't leave an example if one should be.

END
Goku held out his hand.

Goku: Guess it's a tie huh?

Jordan took it and shook.

Michael: I have to admit that East vs West line was pretty good.

Goku: Aw thanks. You had good lines too.

After releasing hands, Goku prepared to use instant transmission.

Jordan: Hold up Goku.

Goku: Huh?

Michael: You know I'm not the kind of guy to be settled with a tie right?

Goku: I know. Don't worry, I'll be back again sometime. That's a promise.

Goku vanished in the next moment.

Jordan shakes his head and runs toward a basketball.

Michael: That Goku.

Chapter Text

One of Crowley's demon subordinates walks into Hell's throne room and kneels down with a bow.

Crowley: What is it?

Subordinate: We have an intruder.

Crowley looks to the side confused. Then he looked to the subordinate again.

Crowley: Intruder?

Subordinate: Yes my king.

Crowley: Who is it?

Subordinate: We don't know. All we know its a black and red hedgehog.

Crowley: Oh really? That hedgehog? You can't be serious? Thinking he can mess with the king of Hell? He must be delirious.

A red light burns from the ceiling and Shadow the Hedgehog drops down from it.

Shadow: Phony ruler. We both know you are not the king of Hell. Lucifer is the one, even that minion of yours can tell.

Subordinate chuckles lightly. In response, Crowley snaps his finger turning the subordinate to dust.

Crowley: Shall we?

Shadow nods.

Start!

Crowley: Crowley is my name and souls are my game. Unlike you I have more than 1 to my name.
What can you do? Use chaos? God you're so boring.
Just like in Shadow The Hedgehog, your story left me snoring.
But I guess, I digress, no I really must confess.
That watching Sonic Boom made me want to rip my bloody heart out of my chest!

Shadow folds his arms.

Shadow: What are you? A demon? It really doesn't matter.
Sam and Dean are the stars, so just sit on that throne and get fatter.
Everybody knows that you'll be killed off soon.
*Sonic runs up and whispers in Shadow's ear. Then he left*
Nevermind. Sonic just told me he had it on DVR in his room.
No point in battling you anymore. Now that you're dead.
Don't bother looking for me. *points to Crowley* Remember what I said.

Shadow turned around. In response Crowley whistled and at least 2 dozen demons blocked the door.

Crowley: I didn't say you could leave.

Shadow turned to face him. Then he smirked.

Crowley: What's so funny?

???: Crowley, Crowley, Crowley. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Crowley turned around to face Lucifer with wide eyes.

Crowley: Oh balls...

Lucifer radiated with energy.

Lucifer: It's my turn to play so... Night night.

Crowley was disintegrated.

Lucifer: Picking up where he left off let me introduce myself.
I am Lucifer. You know, the one from the bible? The TRUE king of Hell.
Bow down hedgehog, you're out of your weight class.
You barely could handle Sonic, what can you do against the original badass?
I've been around for more than twice your lifespan.
While you were on Space Colony Arc I was influencing the freaking Ku-Klux-Klan!
Don't feel bad or sad, it wasn't your fault for what happened up there.
Blame the military or the government. Whatever. *shrugs* I don't care.

Shadow: Truely you are the devil. Have you no respect at all? *Lucifer mouths "nope"*
Tell me when you were cast out of heaven, did your neck break your fall?
You might be a terror to the humans but to me you're a clown.
I could remove one of these rings and have more than enough power to take you down.

Lucifer: Is that a challenge little hedgehog? Do you want to tango with the king? Let's take it to the cage. Let's take it to the ring!

Lucifer used his power to move them to the cage he used to be imprisoned in. Shadow observes his surroundings.

Lucifer: What? Nothing to say? What happened to that ego?
You no speak English anymore... amigo?

Shadow smirks while removing his rings.

Shadow: The time for talk is over. Show me what you can do.

Shadow turns Super Shadow.

Lucifer: Super Saiyan ripoff. Here, let me show you something new.

Lucifer's wings sprouted as his eyes glowed red.

Lucifer: When I get done with you, you'll wish you and your buddys did a Sonic 06 part 2.

The power they exerted clashed.

Shadow: After Chaos Control, Supernatural will be officially done with you.

Lucifer: Uh oh...

Shadow clenched his fists.

Shadow: Chaos... CONTROL!!!

Time and space froze around Shadow's vicinity. Lucifer included.

END

Chapter Text

The Joker and Harley Quinn walk up to the cash register.

Cashier: How may I help you sir?

Joker: Hm... I'll take a cheeseburger, a medium french fry, and an iced tea. What do you want deary?

Harley points to the menu displayed on the wall while bouncing up and down.

Harley: Oh, oh, oh! I want chicken Mcnuggets.

Joker: You heard the woman.

Cashier: Is that a 5 piece or a 10 piece?

Harley: I want 8.

Cashier: Sorry but we can't serve 8.

Harley: Why not?

Cashier: Because 5 and 10 are the only ones I can ring up.

An agitated expression spread across Harley's face.

Harley: I don't want 5 or 10! I want 8! 8!! 8!!! 8!!!! 8!!!!!

Cashier: Calm down lady...

Harley pulled out a gun and pointed it at the cashier. Everyone in the restaurant either took cover or ran out the door. The cashier raised her hands.

Harley: You listen up and you listen good little missy. I want 8 and you will give me 8. Got it?

The shaking cashier nodded before rushing to the kitchen. A few seconds later she came back with their order.

Cashier: H-here y-you a-are...

Harley grabbed the bag after putting her gun away. The Joker picked up his drink and took a sip.

Joker: Sweet. How much do we owe you?

Cashier: Oh uh... It's on the house...

Harley: Thanks a bunch.

Harley rummaged through the bag. After pulling out her nuggets she handed it to the Joker. Shortly after that the two exited the restaurant. When they made it to the car, as soon as Harley jumped into the passenger seat, Joker spotted Ronald McDonald entertaining a crowd of children nearby by making balloon animals.

Joker: Hm...

The Joker dropped his food and drink before heading towards Ronald.

Harley: Puddin?

Making his way through the crowd of children the Joker pulled out a pin and popped the ballon Ronald was fiddling around with.

Ronald: What's the big idea? Don't you see I'm trying to make a living here?

Joker: Kids. Amscray.

The kids looked at each other confused.

Joker: Don't speak pig latin huh?

He pulled out a gun.

Joker: Let's try gun latin.

He fired a shot into the air resulting in kids running off screaming. Ronald McDonald now had a serious look on his face.

Ronald: What do you want?

Joker: I don't think I like that there's two clowns in town. Nevermind. I KNOW I don't like that there's two clowns in town.

Joker brushes his gun against his temple.

Joker: I could kill you and be done with it but that seems too...

Ronald: Cowardly?

Joker shakes his head.

Joker: No, no... *snaps finger* Cliche.

Ronald raises an eyebrow.

Ronald: What do you suggest? A rap battle?

Joker: No, no... Oh wait. I have an idea. Let's have a Rap Battle!

Ronald: How did I not come up with that...

Joker shrugs.

Joker: Beats me. Whoever wins gets to stay. The loser has to hit the hay.

Ronald: And if I say no you'll kill me right?

Joker: Bingo! ARE YOU READY?!

Start!

Joker: I am the Joker. Clown Prince of crime. How are you Ronald?
I see that you're the mascot of this popular franchise McDonalds.
Quite an accomplishment my boy and I commend you but today
Will be the start of all of your dreams flushing away.
I could kill you right now and save myself some trouble.
But I figured I should give you a chance since I like your Mcdouble.

Ronald pinches the bridge of his nose.

Ronald: Over 1 billion served, didn't get the message Gotham clown?
I've been around the world while you've been in what? One town?
Even by DC standards you're not that big of a deal.
You without that gun is like a fisherman without a reel. *Joker looks at gun and tosses it*
You're nothing, scratch that, you're a Joker without the "r".
So drive off with your girlfriend over there waiting in the car.

Joker: I will do that. As a matter of fact, as soon as I'm done.
Right after I toss you out of town, I'll join my honey bun.
So don't rush me Mr. Size 35 Shoe.
I bet Nike has trouble making one that could fit you.

Ronald: A big shoe means a big package if you know what I mean.
I bet mine is bigger than anything *points to Harley Quinn* she's ever seen.

Joker looks over to Harley who blew a kiss at him from the passenger side window. He in turn waved at her with a cheesy grin. Ronald saw that he was distracted. Using the opportunity, he pushed Joker to ground and ran to the car. After hopping in the driver's side he shouted out of the window.

Ronald: You know what? Screw this. You win this rap battle.
I'll leave town but know this! I'll be mounting your cattle!!!

Ronald pulls off as Joker picks up his gun and fires several bullets at the speeding car.

Joker: I should have went "cliche" on him...

End!

A minute later on the road.

Harley: What happened to Puddin? How come we left him behind?

Ronald: It's just a game "us" clowns do for laughs. You know take another clown's car and hide somewhere until he shows.

Harley: Oh I get it. Its sorta like hide-n-seek right?

Ronald: Exactly.

Harley: Hey Mister. You have really big feet.

Ronald: Size 29. You like?

Harley: Are you kiddin me? I like clowns with big feet.

Chapter Text

Neo looks to his side as Tank shuffles through a pile of disks in his hand.

Tank: We're supposed to start with these operation programs first... *tosses a few to the side* but let's start with something a little more fun. How bout... Combat Training.

He loads the program. Neo examines the screen in front of him.

Neo: Ju Jitsu... I'm going to learn Ju Jitsu?

Tank winks at him before pressing load. Neo then feels the program sinking into his brain. When it was finished.

Neo: *pants* Holy shit...!

Tank: I think he likes it. How bout some more?

Neo: Hell yes... Hell yeah.

After absorbing many more programs Morpheus walks in.

Morpheus: How is he?

Tank: 10 hours straight. He's a machine.

After downloading the last of it, Neo looks over to them.

Neo: I know Kung Fu.

Morpheus leans over.

Morpheus: Show me.

Sometime later Neo was in a blank simulation. While outside of the program Morpheus and Tank monitors him.

Morpheus: Tank.

Tank loaded a program. Then the world around Neo turned into one filled with darkness and despair.

Neo looks around.

Neo: What is this place?

Tank smirks.

Tank: Outworld. Based on a game from the early 1999s.

Neo: You put me in a game world?

Morpheus: Focus.

From out of nowhere a ninja dressed in green and black dropped from the sky kicking Neo in the head which made him stumble backward. Regaining his composure, Neo readied himself.

Neo: Right. Focus.

After that, the two engaged in hand to hand combat. With a little luck, Neo defeated the ninja with a knockout roundhouse kick.

Morpheus: Excellent work. Now load in...

Tank: What the heck...

From around the corner a Chinese man wearing a red headband and no shirt ran up.

Morpheus: What's going on Tank?

Tank: It looks like the program has altered itself.

Morpheus: How can this be?

Tank: I dunno.

Morpheus: Can you shut it down?

Tank tried to but was unsuccessful.

Tank: Nope.

The strange man put his hands to his sides and bowed. Upon seeing this gesture, Neo lowered his fighting stance.

Liu Kang: Hello Neo. It is an honor.

Neo: Somehow... You seem familiar. Who are you? Why are you here?

Liu Kang: Somewhere deep down you know.

Neo looked down thinking. When he was done, he looked back up to him.

Neo: Your name is... Liu Kang right? And you're here for a... rap battle?

Liu Kang nodded.

Liu Kang: Shall we get started?

Neo: Sure.

Start!!!

Beat: Dum dum dum dudunum dum dum dum!

Liu Kang: Dragon of the east, Liu Kang is my name.
Meeting you in a program that's similar to my game,
I have to say it seems not that bad.
But in reality what the world's facing is truly sad.
Machines on the surface and humans underground,
Is something that turns my stomach upside down.
Can you find the courage to help turn back the tide?
Or will you be taken along with this horrible ride?

Neo: I could ask you the same question Mr. Liu Kang.
As a matter of fact I'll do just the same.
In Deadly Alliance were you taken for a ride?
Tell me, did you live or did you die?
I'm fine as I am as you can clearly see.
Worry about yourself before questioning me.
One last thing before I pass the mike,
Here's some advice *points over his shoulder* take a hike.

Liu Kang: I'm 2nd to none when it comes to fighting.
Even Raiden agrees I'm faster than lightning.
My style is original, my kicks are iconic.
But in this movie you're hooked on phonics.
With a bicycle kick and a fire blast,
Expect to get put on your pod born ass.
After two rounds you can expect a brutality,
Or I could finish you now with a fatality.

Neo: Original style? You must be joking.
The Bruce Lee clone is clearly smoking.
You're a tribute to a legend and a copy at most.
In the case of this battle, you're nothing but toast.
I watched your movies, they weren't that great.
Dragon Ball Evolution didn't look that fake.
So try it over and do it again.
As for this battle, consider it my win.

End!

Tank: That's what I'm talkin about!

Morpheus gave him a serious look.

Tank: Sorry sir...

Liu Kang bowed again.

Liu Kang: You've done well.

In a show of respect Neo did the same.

Neo: Ditto.

Liu Kang: I must go for now.

Neo: Will I see you again?

Liu Kang: Perhaps. Goodbye Neo.

Liu Kang walked away around the corner from whence he came.

Chapter Text

Following the slaughter his mentor, Zamasu entered the room where the time rings were kept. While opening one of the boxes and trying on a ring, he thought to himself.

Zamasu: (I better test one to see if it works correctly).

Transporting himself to an unknown time he observed his surroundings. The large area he was in was decorated in various shades of red and a common emblem repeated itself all around.

While looking Fire Lord Ozai entered the room from the entryway positioned on the right wall in the back of the room. He noticed Zamasu.

Ozai: (Who is that?) You there.

Zamasu turned around to face him.

Ozai: What are you doing in my throne room unattended?

Zamasu: (His ki is a little higher than most humans... though he's not worth troubling myself over.)

Zamasu turned around and started walking away.

Ozai: You dare turn your back to me? How dare you! Guards!

Firebenders in uniforms swarmed the room surrounding Zamasu in a square. Zamasu looked at them unfazed.

Ozai: Kill him!

In synch, the Firebenders launched a fire assault at Zamasu. Upon converging on Zamasu's location, the fire rose in a pillar spiraling upward. Ozai smirked.

Ozai: The fool had no idea who he's dealing with.

Ozai motioned his hand to signal his guards to stop. Right after the fire died down, Ozai noticed Zamasu standing there.

Ozai: What?! How is he still alive?!

Zamasu closed his eyes.

Zamasu: Foolish ningen.

He vanished in the next second. But not before his ki blade activated.

Ozai: Where did he go!? Find him now!

GuardA: Yes si... AH!!!

One by one, Ozai's guards toppled like dominoes while blood spewed into the air.

GuardB: NWAAA!!!!!!

GuardC: UWAAA!!!!!!

GuardD: GWAAA!!!!!!

GuardE: DontCallMeGuardEAAAH!!!!!!

GuardF: TooLateAAAH!!!!!!

When the last one fell Ozai took a step back.

Ozai: (What is this?!)

As soon as that thought passed, Zamasu appeared directly in front of him with his blade held at the ready.

Ozai: ?!

Zamasu: Die... Ningen.

Zamasu raised his arm ready to strike, but Ozai on reaction discharged lightning at him. The attack passed right through him.

Zamasu: Huh?

Zamasu rubbed the spot where the lightning was supposed to strike him. Ozai was stunned. Seeing it had no effect, Zamasu motioned his hand and attacked. Something unexpected happened as Ozai stood there frozen. Zamasu's hand passed through his body. Ozai looked down at his chest area.

Ozai: (I... feel fine?)

Zamasu pulled back his hand stepping back. Observing Ozai then his blade he pondered what had just occurred.

Zamasu: (I slaughtered those others without complication. Why can't I do the same to this one?)

Ozai: (Shouldn't I be dead?)

A thought came to Zamasu's mind.

Zamasu: (This can't be that...)

He turned his attention to Ozai.

Zamasu: Ningen. Who are you?

Ozai: Ninwhat? I am Fire Lord Ozai! Ruler of the Fire Nation!

Zamasu: Hm... (That explains it.)

Zamasu's ki blade vanished.

Zamasu: (I heard a rumor about this legend from Gowasu, but I never thought there was truth to it. Among the many universes there is 1 law that no mortal or god can break. The law of rap battling. Under this law you cannot harm the one you're destined to face until you defeat them. Gowasu informed me about my rival. Ugh. It disgusts me to be subject to something so ridiculous...)

Zamasu scoffed.

Zamasu: Consider this your lucky day. Fate has determined you will be my opponent in a Rap Battle.

Ozai: Rap Battle... Wait...!

Ozai remembered the legend that was passed down from Fire Lord to Fire Lord by the Fire Sages.

Ozai: (Could this be that prophecy?! Is this him?)

Ozai noticed that Zamasu matched the description mentioned from the legend. Green skin, pointy ears, and an outfit with broad shoulders. Renewed with confidence, Ozai smirked.

Ozai: Zamasu huh? Hehehe... I accept your challenge.

Start!!!

Ozai
I'd consider you a threat if you were somewhat... more imposing.
Frankly an Elf reject is an opponent I'd classify as annoying.
Haven't you realized that the mohawk went out of style long ago?
Unless of course that was something the gods of your universe didn't know.
Like all other nations you will soon learn to fear me.
It's just a matter of time before I roast you like deer meat.
Indeed this will be the most delightful course ever served,
Right before I kick this most troublesome pest to the curb.

Zamasu
A ningen like you cannot comprehend a deity such as me.
Divine power is a level beyond any you could hope to reach.
You reign over the trash littering this pigsty of a world.
Standing here in your presence is enough to make me want to hurl.
Your position is insignificant when compared to that of myself.
Unlike you I can conquer the world without any person's help.
By my own power I set in motion the goals I have in mind.
While you squabble over a kid that's not that hard to find.

Ozai
By your own power you say? Hm... Is that really a fact?
I thought the Zero Mortal Plan involved a person named Goku Black.
Oh that's right. You're a deluded incompetent self-serving fool.
At least against my enemies I know how to keep my cool.
You cry like a little girl because a saiyan surpassed your power.
Oh what's wong Zamasu? Did that last line make you sour?
Shouldn't a god know better than to behave like a spoiled brat?
I thought your deceased Master Gowasu taught you better than that.

Zamasu
You lecture me on keeping my cool when you haven't even learned,
That you shouldn't burn your kids simply for speaking out of turn.
Hypocrite ningen. This is why your kind needs to be erased.
You hurt your own people just to sate your sinful corrupted taste.
Even your wife detests you all because you treat her like a slave.
I wouldn't be surprised if she'd rather be rotting in a grave.
I may have shed some tears over the sins committed by your race,
But at least I defeated the main hero when we met face to face.

Ozai
Didn't you use wishing balls to keep yourself from being killed?
If I were you earning a victory would not make me feel thrilled.
That is like cheating in a game or stealing from the blind.
But I'm sure the rules of fair play is beyond your convoluted mind.
There is one thing on my mind that has been a complete mystery.
You had the dragon balls, why not wish all mortals were history?
No answer? Well I can see why you would feel stupid right now.
Like when Goku deflected that bomb back to Mercenary Tao.

Zamasu
I took my time slaughtering ningens to see the fear in their eyes.
My kill count is over 1 billion, you couldn't manage half if you tried.
You pretend to be the greatest terror that this world has ever seen.
In a top 10 cartoon villains list I would rank you number 15.
I admit the last airbender is a respectable classic show...
Until they did a reboot starring some boring Eskimo hoe!
Well rapping with you was enjoyable... To say the least...
But now it's time for you to join the world of the deceased!

End!

Just as Zamasu was about to attack a portal opened behind him.

Zamasu: What's this?! Why... Cant... I... Move...!

With Zamasu dragged halfway into the portal, Ozai chuckled.

Ozai: It looks like I will survive this encounter after all hehehe.

Zamasu: I'll get you someday!!!

With those final words Zamasu vanished.

Chapter Text

Yugi
YUGIOOOOOOOOH!!! Just kidding, I won't call on Atem today.
Why? I'm the king of games and that's all there is to say.
I've faced multiple challenges and overcame so many major threats.
In all of these years have you become the champion yet?
I know the truth hurts and that it's really hard to hear,
But to say you're a good trainer is a joke plain and clear.
Your fans will understand if you give up and retire.
Go home Mr. Frodo and head on back to the Shire.

Ash
You got some lines midget boy but lack the moves to be great.
I'll burn and stun you with verses straight out of the gate.
Not like Compton, more like Straight Outta Pallet Town.
I'll turn my hat backwards then there's no more playin around.
Give up? Are you sure that you're not jealous of me?
My show is still strong while your fans gave up after series 3.
The pokefranchise is so popular people exercise while on the go.
The most your fandom did was play the games and watch the damn show.

Yugi
Back in the day it used to be 150 as I recall...
Now it's just ridiculous. How do you plan to "catch them all"?
Just face it, Professor Oak tricked you, is all I'm trying to say.
While you were out exploring he and your mom got busy all day.
Its a sad sight to see you're no closer than before.
I bet that it would be easier for your friend Brock to score.
Naive 10 year old. How could you be blinded to the facts?
Unless you have the brain of a newborn Snorlax.

Ash
At least I don't cheat with the "heart of the cards" to win a bout.
All I need is my old pal pikachu to help me out.
Honesty and fair play is the code that all trainers live by.
Not switching out with some 5000 year old Egyptian dead guy.
While I'm at it, why don't I lock-on to a few of your flaws.
Starting with your series where you hardly dueled at all.
And ending with you facing the Pharaoh just to prove your worth.
Please, everyone knows Atem should have buried you in the dirt.
I'll chalk that up to just wanting to end the series on a high note.
But if it were up to me, I'd let him run you over like a scapegoat.

Yugi
The other day, while I was online, I came across a few pokemon memes.
Some were absolutely the most funniest jokes I have ever seen.
How do you get dehydrated if you have pokemon of a water type?
That's like going number 2 without knowing tissue is there for you to wipe.
Yugioh Duelists top Pokemon Trainers when it comes to using their brain.
What idiot would use a pokedex when a pokemon says it's own name?
What's your name little mouse?
Pikachu: Pi-ka-chu.
See? That's called using common sense.
In lesson 2, we'll start with how to jump across a wide fence.

Ash
Attention all fans of yugioh. Please pay attention to my words.
This short stack you admire so much is nothing but a turd.
At least when I battle, it is all me putting in the work.
I might even play for the Mavericks and change my name to Dirk.
You're a leech or in the world of pokemon, a Shelder on Slowpokes tail.
Too lazy to put in the effort and too scared that you will fail.
I'm dropping the mike right here, my quest is far from done.
Don't question the outcome of the battle. You already know I won..

Chapter Text

Smith

Well, well, well... Look what we've got here.
Lord Voldemort, AKA He whose name which a wizard can only fear.
But as you can see, I'm not a wizard. So that does not apply to me.
Neither am I human or as you put it, a muggle, living part of a mediocre society.
Call me Smith, AKA He who cannot be killed by any kind of spell.
I hope you realize that you're in the Matrix, in other words, digital hell.

 

Voldemort

I applaud your introduction. Though you could have used better verses.
Ronald Weasley's wand from year two was better with simple curses.
Smith is what you go by? A common name for common trash.
A simple manager is all that is required to end such a common task.
I could pull the plug on your hell by green lighting the power source.
Just call me a green lantern without mercy or a morsel of remorse.

 

Smith fixes his tie while raising his eyebrows.

Smith

Not bad. I might have underestimated the Lex Luthor without a nose,
And its not just that, apparently you have some gruesome looking toes.
If Potter 4 has taught me anything, its that your feet are repulsive.
Looking at them made my stomach hurt. For a moment I thought I had an ulcer.
Put some shoes on Tom Flintstone. You don't live in the stone age.
I can ignore your teeth, but please lock those *points to feet* animals in a cage.

 

Voldemort

When it comes to appearance, as of right now, I admit I'm not the best.
But I chose to be like this. What's the excuse for your face? A failed A.I. test?
Some code gone haywire. Yes, nothing more than a glitch in a flawed system.
It pegs the question how all-so intelligent machines could have possibly missed them?
And you think that you're somehow the solution to the Zion muggles.
The next thing you will say is Mania is better than Sonic 3 and Knuckles.

 

Smith puts up 1 finger.

First of all Sonic 3 and Knuckles is not an individual game itself. *Smith puts up another finger*
Second, even if it was one, Mania would still hold the Sonic Title Belt.
Speaking of titles, I heard that you lost your power to an infant.
From the story you waved your wand and then you were gone in an instant.
My, my, my. Why did the mighty Dark Wizard Tom Riddle fall so hard?
Perhaps because he acted on a prophecy like an effervescent retard?

 

Voldemort

Effervescent retard? Are you sure you want to pronounce me in that light?
What about you and "The One" Mr. Anderson in your climactic final fight?
The odds were in your favor and yet you fought him one on one.
How did that turn out? Oh I remember, you didn't get the job done.
So pardon me for taking a threat serious and acting on my doubts.
Between you letting Neo go and me acting against Harry, I chose the better route.