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Saving grace

Chapter Text


I sat alone in my office, filling out paperwork that Carmen so kindly left out for me to sign before having to run off. It was my sixth cup of coffee and getting nowhere on these case notes off to my left, I need food. I really need to go home and sleep. Yet i couldn't walk away now. I heard a soft knock, and looked up. Who would be visiting so late?

"Come in."

"I brought food." Just in front of the door stood a beautiful sight, 5 foot 4, dark brown hair with blonde highlights and tipping, grey eyes, a gorgeous lightly tan skin that almost looked just like a suntan and not her natural color, and holding a bag of Chinese take out.... my beautiful sister grace. 

"What's the catch?" I ask.

"No catch, just food and your awesome little sister."

I smiled and stood up, giving my usual sarcastic tone, "have I told you I love you lately?"

"No, your slipping." She sat the bag on the table and gave me a hug before pulling the food, "you work to much."

"Maybe I do it so you'll bring me food at work." I teased.

"Don't even think it. I had a free night and knew you would starve yourself."

"Mami called you, didn't she." I raised a brow as she handed me my container.

"No," she giggled, "you know mami isn't happy with me at the moment."

"Then who?"

"Carmen." She had a smug smile as she sat down.

"Your using my secretary as a spy? No wonder you knew to bring Chinese." I sat down beside her on the couch, "thanks for the food gracie."

Her black shirt sat higher then her usual neckline and jeans actually sitting on her waist, she never dressed up when she came to see me. She said that she felt like a sell out dressing up just to walk to his office, and she wanted to hear a rumor about me having a escort in my office. She never believed me when I told her she didn't look like a escort or hooker, I would kill her before she could walk in my office dressed like what she imagined a hooker looked like. We chatted for about a hour as we ate, anything that came to mind. It seemed like ages when in reality, it had only been a week or two since we ate in my office. Grace always had a habit of bringing food to me at work when I got to involved in casework. She would cuddle on the couch with me and make me leave my work load behind until she left... she was truely my best friend, I loved my sister more then mami.... but I'd never admit it.

She turned my wrist and looked at my watch, "shit, I need to be going."

"Is he picking you up?"

"No," she gave me the infamous Barba 'seriously' look, "Recógeme en frente de un edificio de la aplicación de ley ...eso es loco. (Picking me up in front of a law enforcement building... That is crazy.)" She sighed and stood up, "business as usual. I was planning on the train."

"Nonsense, ride along. I'll get dropped first and you'll get dropped second. On me of course." I stood up.

"Your not gonna let me say no are you?" She stopped and sighed as I kissed her cheek.

"Not a chance."

"Fine, hurry up bro. I unlike you, do sleep."

I chuckled and threw on my jacket and grabbed my briefcase, "yeah, yeah.... let's go gracie."

She wrapped a arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. I just chuckled as we walked out to the waiting uber. I got out at my apartment and told her good night as laughed and hugged me through the open window.

"Night bro, see ya tomorrow." I rolled my eyes and watched her drive away, god I love my sister.


The ride home was fairly long, so I tried to busy myself on my phone. After finally pulling up at the building, I hop out and ran up stairs to find Nevada was already waiting on me.

"Hey cutie, how was work?" I kissed his cheek from behind the couch.

"El trabajo era trabajo. Cómo estuvo tu día, niñita. (Work was work. How was your day, little girl?)" He took my hand and walked me around it to sit on his lap, "hmmmmmm?"

"Good papi. Better now that I'm with you." I kissed him as he rubbed soft circles in the flat part of my hips.

"Your a little late niñita. Dijiste que estarías en casa?(You said you'd be home right?)" He nosed my cheek and rubbed his scratchy beard along my jaw.

"I had dinner with raf. Took Chinese to his office and he insisted I share a cab with him and wouldn't let me on the train." I pulled back and smirked, "Estabas preocupado?(were you worried?)"

"Always. Your brother would kill me if I let anything happen to you." His hand ran under my shirt and unclasped my bra, "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you Mami."

My cheeks flushed as he rubbed his hips against mine gently, "as sweet as this is... I'd rather have the sex right now."

He chuckled and pushed my shirt off before laying me back on the couch. His hands working quick on my pants as mine cupped his scratchy cheeks. He never looked away from my eyes as he pushed them down and off, then he went to work on his clothes. He always knew which buttons to press, since I was a teen... Though niether of us would admit it. He knew me better then I care to admit, and damn did he make me feel every little movement feeling like a earthquake. The soft kisses down my chest, the way he hitched my legs over his shoulders... The way he slid in slowly, every inch he would stop and Bob just a few seconds before continuing. 

"Fuck vada... Faster." I begged as he scratched my throat with his beard.

"What is with you barba's and rushing? Never taking your time on anything." He rolled his eyes, "prisa. Más rápido. No tengo tiempo para esto ... Debo amarrarte y enseñarte paciencia.(hurry. Faster. I don't have time for this...  I should just tie you down and teach you patience.)"

I whimpered as he finally bottomed out, "god.... Move please."

He shook his head and I whimpered more, "please vada... I need more. Please, pretty please....god please."

He shook his head so I started moving the best I could and he put all his weight on his hips to hold me down, "patience.... All in good time niñita."

"Vada... Don't do this to me." I gasped as he withdrew and pushed in slightly faster then before.

"I love you grace, Solo déjame mostrarte cuánto.(just let me show you how much.)" He moved a hand to stroke my cheek.

The pace was still slow but at least he was moving. He moved my hands above my head and pressed them there as he reached for his belt from the floor. After tying me down, he started to massage and kiss my body between thrusts. It was heavenly but God did I crave more, needed more. Vada always was a gentle soul until you were on his bad side, luckily, I never made it to his bad side. From the moment we first meet when I was a toddler, I had never made it to his bad side. Even when I called him to get me out of school early at 8 and he took a beratement from both Mami's over it. Nor when I was 11 sitting in the cold winter air outside because I didn't want to be near dad and he threw me over his shoulder and carried me in to their apartment to sleep for the night, he stayed the whole night with me on the couch. He really was a gentle soul, if the world didn't constantly piss him off.

He hit a deep spot and I cried out his name, his lips curling up as he sped up finally. God I'm gonna feel that Tomorrow. He angled up and before I could speak, my body was shaking and my vision went foggy... I got light headed. I didn't hear my scream, but I knew I did as he laughed between grunts into my shoulder.

"Buena niña. Esa es mi nińita. (Good girl. That's my little girl.)" He purred as he kept going.

Only minutes later he returned the favor, filling me up and growling out my name in my ear. He collapsed on me and kissed me down from the high. He stroked the hair out of my eyes and looked at me with a big smile.

"Perfección, verdaderamente eres la perfección. Cómo pueden Barbas ser siempre tan hermosas? (Perfection, you truly are perfection. How can Barbas always be so beautiful?)" He cooed.

"The one good thing about dad." I smirked and kissed him, "I really do love you vada." 

"I love you too Grace, always have." 

"Then can we move to the bed? I don't want to sleep on the couch again." I pouted as he chuckled and pulled me up.

"Of course cariño." He walked me backwards to the bedroom, pushing me on the bed. 



"The belt?" He chuckled and undid the belt from my wrist.

He dropped beside me and adjusted us into a comfortable spooning position. He kept me tight against him, even with the abundant heat of summer. He reached back and found the AC remote to cool it down. I sighed and rolled over to look at him.

"Hey vada, I think I'm going to visit Mami this weekend."

"Really?" He looked a little shocked, "your caving this time... And so soon?" 

"It's been a week! Vada I miss her." I pouted.

"Ok.... Why are you telling me this?" He raised a brow.

"I want you to come."

"And have a pan thrown at me again, sorry no deal Gracie. Lucia es una locura. No necesito más cicatrices y ser perseguido fuera de un edificio ... otra vez. (Lucia is crazy. I do not need any more scars and be chased out of a building ... again.)" He rolled his eyes.

"For being Trujillo, your kinda a big baby." I poked his chest as he glared.

"Barbas are also assholes." He mumbled and I shoved him in the chest pushing him back.

"No, no, no... Don't even start."

"Te amo, pero eres un culo. (I love you, but you're an asshole.)" He smirked and I pushed him on his back and use my foot to get the extra force to knock him on the floor.

He tried to grab onto the bed but failed as he went face first into the carpet. I laughed and felt the sheet being pulled off me. While the air was now cold, it wasn't to bad as to do more then pimple the skin. He slowly stood up and smirked at my naked form laying out unafraid of the cold air.

"God I love you Gracie." He crawled over my body, "need some warmth?"

"Like I would ever say no... Love me vada."

He smirked and pulled the sheets over us. He kissed me and tucked me in tight, drifting off to sleep as he stroked my arms whispering that he loved me.

Chapter Text


 I sat in a coffee shop, sipping a tea and eating a danish. my hair pulled back out of my face as i read a book, company by George Furth. I smiled as his foot steps approached.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Not for you cutie," I winked and chucked at his eye roll.

"So gorgeous, how's the book?"

"Not bad, could be much better."

"Told you," he chuckled and took a bit of the cinnamon roll and sip of coffee.

"Stop being a dick rafi," I pulled a small part of the roll off and ate it.

"seriously? Does that cinnamon roll taste good with that tea."

"Nope, not at all."

He chuckled, "what am I going to do with you Gracie?"

"Love me, hug that way to protective brother for the fact I'm thirty and your forty." I smirked.

"Your dating a forty year old."

"And I love him... He is amazing." I smiled at raf's eye roll.

"And a criminal."

"Prove it." I challenged.

He laughed before groaning at the sound of his phone ringing. He held up a finger and I leaned over to lick it.

He pulled it away quickly, "Barba."

He looked pensive, then annoyed, then sighed, "ok, I'll be right over."

"Bailing on me again?"

"Not on purpose. Caught a case and they want to deal."

"Yeah, yeah," i roll my eyes.

"How about dinner? Say tomorrow, 8ish?" He stood up.

"Ok... vada gots some work tomorrow anyways."

"Mami will be glad to see you stop by."

"No not mami raf," I jump up to grab his hand, "mami still gives me trouble about nevada."

"Nevada is trouble, you know that."

"You were friends before I was born." 

"Which is why I knew where  to cut ties." He kissed my forehead, "mami is just worried."

"Fine.... but promise you'll back me up. Just don't let her dog me all night."

"Promise. Text you later gracie."

"Bye rafi." He ran out the door as I chuckled.

Just then my phone dinged and I looked at it, screen displaying Nev.

N: hey mami, where you at?

G: just getting a caffeine boost. I thought you were out on business.

N: I want to take you out.

G: sounds fun. The usual coffee shop.

N: 11 minutes

I finished the tea and threw it away, walking to the front door. Stepping out into the spring air, I smile, the soft breeze blowing my flowy stripped tank top against my side, the black jacket blowing back.

"Ey mami!"

I turned to my right to see my boyfriend with his sunglasses tipped down, he rolled his window down in the back of the black escalade.

"Hop in mami, I'm a busy man." He motioned me to him as he brought the glasses back up his face.

I rolled my eyes and walked over. He rolled the window backup and opened the door so i could slide in. After making sure my feet were in, he pulled the door shut and smiled across the seat. His one body guard, marco, sat across on the front seat eyeing me in the rearview mirror. I shifted uncomfortable with his stare before nevada's arm wrapped around me.

"How's my niñita?"

"Good vada... how was business?" I tucked into him.

"Business is business, Los asnos mudo no saben hacer mierda.(The dumb asses do not know how to do shit.)" He chuckled and kissed my head "how has your day been?"

Nevada tipped my face up to look at him as I spoke, "I am halfway through my new book, and the tea was delicious."

"Mira mi sólo mi pequeño ratón de biblioteca (Look at my little bookworm)," he chuckled and kissed me briefly, "I'm glad you are enjoying it. It took a long time to find it."

"Thanks vada, again." i sat up, "so where we headin?"

"It's a surprise, paloma (dove)." He smirked, "just enjoy the ride."

I got comfortable using nevada as my pillow watching out the far window as the buildings went by. He talked business, switching in and out of english. He stroked my hair softly, and gave marco a glare when he kept staring at my chest. I smiled when you could hear marco swallow and quickly looked away. After 30 minutes, the suv slowed down and I could hear it shift into park. Looking up at nevada, he smirked and motioned for me to go look. Sitting up, i pushed the door open, hopped out and smiled.

"Oh vada..."

I heard his chuckle before feeling his arm around my waist, "it's beautiful, almost as beautiful as you."

Blushing, I took in the sight. The old shit hole storage dock that burnt down last year was remodeled into a small park, with the perfect view of the river behind it. With the sun slowly falling, the light colors starting to take the sky. He tucked my hair behind my ear and slowly moved me forward into the park. He walked through to the chain railing and held me to his body as I just took in the beautiful sun set. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear, little compliments mixed with soft kisses on my skin. His lips ghostly touching my skin as I felt mesmerized by the sight and feeling. Every so often he would squeeze my side softly and hum a little. Oh vada, you are to much. 

It was almost a hour later when his men interrupted, some dealer was skimming profits and bragging at a club. Nevada apologized and told manny to stay with me until a guy could bring the car. I grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

"Vada can't I ride along and wait in the car? It's getting chilly out."

"Paloma (dove), Trujillo has work to do." He caressed my face.

"I promise I'll stay in the car... please, im cold vada." I pouted and he nodded.

"Ok, you can come along. But stay in the car.... I don't need to hear any shit about you getting put in harms way." He turned to the boys, "have javy and José bring him to the warehouse."

Nevada grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, "now promise you'll listen to me."

"I promise papi."

"Good, let's go... Trujillo tiene algo que hacer (trujillo has some work to do)."


I spent a long day at work after my little late lunch date. I groaned at the time, 8pm. I left the office and sent grace a quick reminder about tomorrow before being grabbed by the squad to have a few drinks. Carisi talked about his niece's birthday, then of course it looped back around to the case. I almost missed her text back.

G: like I would miss it. By the way, go get a drink or something.... you've been working over to much. And no mami didn't tell me that.

R: you should've became a cop grace.

G: to many rules.

R: P.I.

G: now we're talking,

R:  Getting a drink with the squad right now mother. Don't worry I won't get drunk.

G:  no you better get wasted, I need proof that vada isn't the only bad influence.

R: night gracie.

G:   Nighty nighty Rafi.

I apparently smiled because the squad noticed and asked about it. Carisi asked if it was a girlfriend and everyone chuckled, I brushed it off and changed the subject. They practically interrogated me even though I didn't budge untill everyone left for home at 10. I went home and passed out immediately, knowing tomorrow would be a nightmare. If only I knew...


 The escalade pulled into the warehouse, I looked to my right. The beautiful brunette curled against the door, had retracted her feet from my lap.

"Paloma, this shouldn't take long. Just relax, then we'll go home."

I kissed her lips, pulling back and stepping out. Making sure that she was distracted with the book again before walking to the back room. My men had already roughed up the traitor and was waiting for the word to kill or release him.

I stepped in with a smile, "johny! My boy," walking over, i bent over just a little to give a full towering effect, "I was told you were skimming off my profits. Now I thought I knew you better johny boy... that pretty little sister of yours and her son sure thought they did too."

His eyes widen, "Trujillo por favor, I wasn't..."

Javy punched johny's gut.

"Don't lie. Where's my money?" I stepped back a little.

"I don't have it."

Another punch, harder to his cheek.

"Fuck... I don't have it!" He whimpered.

"Johny, johny, johny... then where is it?" i watched as johny stuttered out.

"Bx9... heard I..i..i..i..i was...expanding my grounds and they paid me a visit."

i froze, turning back towards the boy, "expanding."

"I was selling to a few people out of our territory, they heard and put me on the payroll if I stole from you."

I was clearly pissed, "Tu jodido Traidor! (You fucking traitor!)"

Gunshots rang out from the the front of the building and suddenly everyone went running out guns drawn. 

Chapter Text


It was quiet, a blissful soft quiet as i sat alone in the suv. Nevada left men outside, with strick orders to leave me alone. I chuckled vada, vada, vada... you know me so well. I fired out a few texts to rafael before I lifted the book up a little and kept reading. I ignored any noise from outside the vehicle until it hit.


Loud consistent gun fire that leaves me shaking on the floor of the suv. I was sobbing and unable to move. I heard the door open and felt cold hands grab my ankle...looking back I scream, definitely not vada. His hands covered my mouth as he pulled me out screaming and fighting. I felt a sharp pain in my neck, then my mind got hazy and I was blinking back sleep. A losing battle as I pass out.


 What the fuck? I ran through the door and straight to the open back door of the escalade, she wasn't there. I quickly looked around, my men following suit and catching one body on the ground bleeding. Where is she?! Where is grace! My heart raced, blood pumped loudly... I grabbed the man and shoved him into a wall.

"Where is she?!"

"I don't know wh..."

I punch him in his bleeding stomach, "don't fucking mess with me."

"Probably screaming for more as the...."

The guy was facedown on the ground with my boot to his head, "Llévalo adentro y hágale hablar ... y cada vez que él la menciona de esa manera, rompa un hueso (Take him inside and make him talk ... and whenever he mentions her in that way, break a bone)."

He was pulled out from under my foot and two of the men carried him back. I quickly noticed I'm down a man, Alejandro the warehouse guard was no where to be seen. Motioning to the second car, we hop in and started asking around and putting words to the runners.... you see anything, you talk, you get a reward. My mind was in a frenzy, it was all my fault she was missing she chose to love me and got thrown into danger even when I try to keep her out. It's all my fault.


I wake up sore, my body bound tightly by rope. I felt a little blood trickle down my cheek and my hair in my face. I swear that my hair was pulled back before... wait where am I? I strained my eyes to focus and didn't recognize the building in the least... it was dim and wet, like a dungeon. I struggled with my restraints before I felt a sharp stab in my side probably a broken did it happen? I whimpered softly as I try to stay calm... where am I?


It has been 2 hours and no word yet. The bastard won't talk, no one seen anything, and now I was in panic mode. I was thinking over all my choices and fell back to the only one I haven't tried. I pulled my phone out and looked at the time 4 am... god please answer. A few taps to the phone, I see his name and say a silent prayer as it starts to ring. Dios mio, por favor (dear god, please)..... I need him to answer. It was third ring when I heard the soft click to answer.

"He-llo?" He spoke through a yawn.

"Rafael... I need a favor."


"Ramirez?.... it's 4 am and your a criminal remember. I'm not helping with anything....."

"Grace was kidnapped. They took her and I can't find her."

"Grace!" His voice spiked before his growl came out, "what the hell did you get her into Nevada."

"Nothing. She stays out of business and no one touches her."

"Obviously not! How did it happen?"

"Gun fire at the suv.. she was in it outside one of my buildings. I had guards there and they still..." My voice caught as I struggled to keep my feelings down.

"Ok, ok... just calm down. Let me call in a favor and I'll get cops on the search. I'll be out there as soon as the call is done." He paused, "Why did you call me?"

"Because I don't trust easy... but I still trust that little kid that just wanted to get out of the hieghts." I sighed, "I don't want anything illegal, I just want her to be safe..... she doesn't deserve any of this."

"Finally we agree on something." He paused, "Where is this warehouse? I need a squad to examine the scene outside."

I gave him the address and I went back to the warehouse and sent the men, along with the almost dead man, out to the docks out of our area. He was useless and what the cops didn't know won't hurt. My men had pulled the video footage and it missed the guy being hit and left behind, it also missed my men firing back. It was useless but it wasn't incriminating to us. I said a silent prayer and waited for rafael to berate me.


A quick favor called into the DA at 4 am and then a second one to liv. I was up and dressed in the few minutes it took to finish the call. She was informing the local precinct and I was running like hell to the cab. The whole drive was terrifying, trying not to think of what could be happening. Then the thought hit, I have to tell mami.... oh shit.


 The room was deafening, a soft drip in the corner echoing. My tears were dried and my throat soar. Then it started, the door opened and I heard foot steps.

"Look at you miss perfect.... don't see no boyfriend around now." Out walked a short, pudgy man.

"What do you want?" I whimpered.

"You don't remember me do you?" He laughed, "you have no clue."

"Please... let me go. Just let me go and I can give you anything you want." I pleaded like a child, nothing mattering but being in Rafael's arms with nevada laughing and kissing my head... Mami rolling her eyes and scolding me.

"Oh now she begs.... before you barely looked at me."

"I'm sorry.... I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He quipped.

"What ever I did. Please let me go!"He just chuckled, my tears running over me and my dry sobs. "I'm sorry, por favor lo siento (please I'm sorry)."

"Watch that language! Don't use that pathetic excuse for a langue near me!" He kicked my side.

"I'm sorry!"

"You bitch... look at me! Look!" He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him, "do you remember me now?"

"No... not at all." I cried, Please let honesty work.

He broke a rib as I cried out, "you little bitch.... you broke my heart and don't even remember me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Think hard before you say no again... do you remember me? Do you remember how you embarrassed me?!"

Then it clicked. Four years ago, right after me and Nevada had started dating in a very serious way, Just not to public knowledge, I had a issue with this chef. He liked me, a lot and I blew him off. He pushed and even sent flowers to my address which was nevada's place. Nevada got pissed and I promised to make sure he understood I wasn't  interested, so I went to my boss and said he was making me uncomfortable. The boss canned him and a little over a year later, I quit the job.

"I remember." I whispered as a sudden fear hit me that hadn't been there before, deep down in my gut.

"Good.... now you'll understand what I'm going to do is poetic."

He went to work tying me to a chair and beating my side, definitely four broken ribs. He inflicted pain then went on about his feelings, how I ruined his life. I made him lose the job, which lost his home, which made him lose his kid, which put him in a rage, which got him arrested.... then raped in prison. He yelled at me, telling how he finally got parole and saved enough money to pay some guys to make it look like a gang war. Of course they just needed to bring me alive to him for torture. I cried where are you? Why aren't you here? Why am I still here?

Chapter Text


I watched the cops pull up and go through the area, ask the men questions and they showed them the footage. I noticed some detectives come up and take over. Two were sent out to help with canvasing and the other two approached and one talking to a small group of cops.

"Mr. Ramirez, you own the warehouse and vehicle?"

"Yeah," I sighed and looked up at them, "I do."

"What is your connection to the victim..."

I cut him off, "Grace.... Grace is my girlfriend."

He nodded and the woman frowned, so I took a turn to ask a question, "Who are you two anyways?"

"They are here to help, don't push your luck ramirez." I turned to see Rafael, jeans with a white T-shirt and black hoodie, walking up.

A smile flashed on my face, "glad your here." My voice had dropped low and it was almost a whisper but he caught it.

"Of course I'm here. Now play nice."


"It's not your fault." He stopped at the side as the group formed a circle, "this is detective Carisi and lieutenant Benson of svu. I asked for their help, they will find Grace... they won't let judging you get in the way."

"What do you need?"

Raf smiled, "I took care of the photo, just answer questions.... truthfully Ramirez. Compender?(understand?)"

I nodded.

They asked the basic questions and I gave the usual answers. They finally ended the session and walk off. Rafael told them he would be over in a moment and turned to me.

"It's not your fault."

"You don't know that."

"I doubt some gang would drug her to kidnap her."

I looked up, "They drugged her?"

"They found a needle wedged under a tire. I got them to inform me immediately if they get anything.... it's not your fault." He took a deep breath, "She wouldn't want you beating yourself up over it."

He smiled reassuringly before walking off and leaving me alone. My men joined shortly after and asked what I wanted to do, I gave them a short nothing and just waited there for word.


 I walked up to Carisi and Liv now joined by detective Bartum on loan from the gang unit, "please say we found something to go on."

"Nothing on the security camera, no witnesses.... canvasing isn't helpful when people don't want to rat out the drug lord." Carisi snapped, "Why do you even know him? How?"

"Long story for after we find Grace," I looked at him, "Put aside any feelings of hate or disgust for him and focus on the innocent girl that's missing."

"How innocent is she if she's dating Ramirez?"

I flared my nostrils and bit back the urge to punch him, instead turning to Liv, "I want to know the minute you find anything. I have to give the next of kin a visit..."

"I should tag along to ask some questions." Liv adds quickly.

"Won't do any good, but sure." I start to follow her when I noticed Nevada was still standing there. "One second," I walked over.

"I'm going to talk to mami with the detective..."

"Won't do any good, Grace hasn't been over in a week because of the yelling match last time."

"I know, but protocol." I sighed, "Go home. Just try to sleep or smoke a cigar or something away from all this. I'll call to keep you updated.... por favor just go."

"Ok... but you better call." He sighed and motioned his men to the waiting escalade.

"Grace would kill me if I didn't." I whispered.

He smiled at my words before adding, "Tell mami I said hi."

"Yeah because that won't cause problems," I chuckled and walked over to Liv.

She started asking questions and I just let it all out. How Grace is my half sister because dad didn't just beat mom, he cheated too. He got a prostitute pregnant and Grace was born. I explained how she overdosed and left Grace to us, how dad didn't take care of her so we did. How at thirteen, I was taking care of a baby and before I left for harvard I had to promise the little eight year-old I'd come back. How we have a close bond and mami took her in as her own immediately. How i use to be friends with Nevada before I decided to be on the otherside. I got the ada job and we agreed to part ways but he kept a eye on her while she was in the heights. Then they became friends and at only twenty-three to his thirty-three, Grace dropped the bomb on me about dating Nevada. I wasn't happy but she loved him and he took care of her, kept her out of everything and made sure I wasn't looking like I was evolved. Then I added how mami kinda resents him to a extreme and makes it clear to Grace..... After almost six years dating, I still play referee between the two.


 It has been hours and he took breaks between beating me and letting me rest as I blacked out. The room was dark with no windows, no way to tell where I am or for how long.... Then he escalated. He slapped me across the face, bruising my cheek and making my nose bleed. My body was to bruised and in pain to fight him anymore. I might let a insult escape here and there but I was almost broken... at least my body was. He cut the rope and pulled me up, shoving me face first into a table. He re-tied my wrists to the table legs, Then he tugged my pants down. I struggled and screamed, he punched my side as I screamed in pain. He took tape from somewhere and covered my mouth.

"Listen.... I want this to last. I'd hate to kill you right away. I want you to beg me and ask for this."

He rubbed his crotch against me as I cried.

"I'm going to fuck you. Show you what a real man feels like... not that pussy drug lord. A real man you turned down for that piece of shit. I'm going to make you feel like never before, make you beg for more. Then when I'm done... I'm gonna cut you up and throw you into the river. So when they find you... they will look disgusted with the whore." His hands ran up the back of my shirt, a knife cutting it off.

My tears pouring down my face, body shaking as he touch my tender body. I took inventory of my pain.... bruised cheek, bleeding nose, black eye...broken ribs, four broken ribs on my right side... my wrists are bruised from the rope. Then my upper thigh is in stabbing pain. That part was recent, probably from he way he is man handling my thighs and ripping off my clothes. As I tried to keep my will power, be the optimist at the worst moment... he crossed the line to far for me to keep control.

He cut off the underwear and threw my jeans to the side beside my hoodie. I heard him smell my underwear and laugh.

"Not that wet darlin... this is really going to hurt."

My eyes went wide and before I could try to fight, he had my thighs pinned and was ramming into me. I couldn't see through the tears as he abused me, he spit on my body. Slapping my ass whenever I tried to fight him. Then he hit a bruising pace, it felt so painful. It didn't make sense to me at first, he is beyond small compared to Nevada and his thing was so tiny... the only pain comes from not being wet. Before I could continue my thought, he came in me. Then he spit on my ass and lined up, pushing in as I whimpered. He was to soft to do much there, giving up after a few pushes.

"Next time you'll come Grace.... next time you will be wet for me." He laughed wiping himself on me, "and no... I think my cum looks good in you. Besides, if your worried about getting pregnant.... remember I'll just kill you when I'm done so it's no worry."

My body was trying to tighten into itself, to compact so tight he couldn't hurt me. It was useless though, I was still tied down. So I cried as he laughed and moved infront of me and ripped off the tape.

"Clean me up whore."

I held my mouth shut and he grabbed my jaw and squeezed till I had to open.

"Don't fight me bitch, suck me off or I could fuck your mouth."

I made no attempt to move so he shoved in and I gagged, he tasted awful.

"Taste like shit don't it. What did you think I was fucking a jelly donut?!"

I vomited as he pulled out, clearly pissed he went to clean up.


Benson and Rollins went one way and Fin and Carisi went the other way. The uniforms spread out as well and re-canvased the area.

Rollins looked at Bartum, "so how does Barba know this Grace or the drug lord."

"That's for him to tell." He looked over, "focus on the girl."

"So we are just going to over look the fact Barba the ADA somehow knows a drug lord in a none damning way?" She scuffed, "Something is fishy there."

"Are you going to let that justify her being kiddnapped?" He shook his head, "Just work Amanda."

"Your not curious?"

"I'm more concerned about the twenty-seven year old woman that was drugged and kidnapped."

Amanda stopped, she took a breath and nodded as they moved to the next group sitting on the streets. Her phone ringing, pulling her attention as Bartum came back towards her.

 Carisi and Fin are working their way through the small group of people walking their way. 

"Has anyone seen this woman?" Carisi shook his head as everyone looked away, "or don't even look? That's fine... Outstanding citizens you are."

"How about you sir?" Fin held the photo up to one guy separated from the group, "have you seen her?"

"I don't know the drug lords girl." He tried to slip by to catch the group when Carisi blocked him, "I talk he kills me."

"I doubt the drug lord would kill you if you help find his girl." Fin frowned.

"She is a guarantee kill, just saying her name in a bad way is enough to get a bullet." The guy went to push by.

Carisi caught him and pushed him back, "What name?"

"Grace Barba." The guy tried again to get away.

"What was that name?" Fin asked as Carisi went wide eyed.

"Shit... You didn't know it? I really am dead." He shoved Carisi back and took off down the street as Carisi pulled out his phone.

"Did he just say...?" Fin was cut off by Carisi.

"Grace Barba... I'm calling Liv." It rang twice then hit voicemail. 

Fin texted Amanda instead, hoping she can get the info to Liv.

Amanda's phone was ringing, pulling her attention as Bartum came back towards her.

"Amanda a woman was kiddnapped and..."

"She's Barba's sister." Her voice going monotone, "The vic is his sister?"

He stopped and sighed, "Could we please just keep canvassing?"

She looked to her boss and nodded, suddenly finding a new focus. She didn't have time to think this through, to ask questions like why he didn't seem shocked... She had to find Barba's sister.

Chapter Text


Me and Liv pulled up to mami's apartment at about 6, giving her a little sleep before the intrusion I hope. We walked up and I knocked before using my key to enter.

"Mami!" No answer, so I pushed in and called again, "mami, es importante....tenemos que hablar! (It's important....we need to talk)"

I paused when she came walking out in a robe rubbing her head, "rafi... it's 6 am."

She looked at me and froze,"what's wrong mijo?"

"Mami, Grace was kidnapped la..." I couldn't finish the sentence, mami fell back on the couch looking broken.

She started a prayer in spanish and held back tears. I walked over and hugged her as her tears started to fall.

"Mami, everything will be fine.... Grace will be fine."

"It's that pendejo (asshole) Nevada's fault... dios mio (dear god) I knew this would happen."

"Mami... Nevada didn't do this."

"He is the cause of it rafi! If he would've just left her alone she would be safe right now."

"Mami, you know it's not his fault... she chose him not gave into him."

She pulled away from me and I sighed, moving to sit beside her. Liv sat in a chair to the side and asked the basic questions. When did you last see her? Did you two fight? of course that became a earful of hatred towards Nevada. Where were you last night? Can it be confirmed? Mami played along and answered everything before asking a few which Liv couldn't answer. Liv went outside and I answered what we knew as of right now. She groaned and I tried again.

"Mami, can we please set aside this hatred for Nevada and focus on Grace?"

"He's the reason s..."

"No he Isn't. She was with him but she was drugged with a needle and kidnapped.... that's not a typical gang move."

She sighed, "how is he?"

"Worse then you. I convinced him to go home but he looks like shit and still blames himself."

She sighed, "tell him if he needs it... I'm here."

"Don't worry... I doubt he'll come over mami."

She smirked, "find her rafi... bring her home."

"Of course."

She kissed my cheek, "go play hero."

I left and went back to Liv in the suv, off to follow along.


 I sat in my apartment, with my phone in hand. I cried when no one was around, punched walls when I felt the urge, I even screamed. My world was crumbling with what ifs. What if she is dead? What if she is crying for me right now? What if she is begging for mercy? What if the bastard is r.... I couldn't finish that thought. I was on the verge off giving up everything for her.... I'd die before I'd let her die because of me.


 I couldn't move a inch, my body was done completely. He had his third round of fun and I spit in his face when he removed the tape. He punch my broken ribs and left again. I passed out, came back later just to repeat the process.... it felt like days and I was stuck... his little fuck toy. So I cried until my body was dry.


 The detectives caught a break, a bodega camera caught a man dragging a girl into a alley. I watched to verify, it was Grace. They pushed through and around 12:30, a woman confessed she had a guy who was "looking for help for his girlfriend". She called a cab but never let them in. The taxi gave us a address in the docks district. So we set up a full search pulling as many officers as possible to check all the buildings and containers.

Liv forced me to leave when it went down. She told me to go away and she'd call....I was to close to this. I did the only thing I could think of, I went to Nevada... I walked to his door and knocked. He opened it and let me in, concern dripping off him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing yet. They tracked down a taxi that dropped her at some docks with a man. The police is searching now.... they'll call me soon."

"Then why are you here?" He relaxed just a little knowing it wasn't bad news.

"They said I was to close to be there if they found her.... Or him."

"I would offer you something but I doubt there is anything in here.... she didn't get to do the grocery shopping before..." His voice cracked.

"I know," I hugged Nevada as Nevada bit back a cry.

This wasn't the first time I seen Nevada cry, but damn if it wasn't the worse. I seen him briefly cry when his dad died, on Grace's graduation day... Even when I left for Harvard and asked him to keep an eye on her. But it wasn't like this, this was a pain i never seen before. I couldn't be any stronger then him at this point. We both sat crying on his couch... a silent promise that neither of us would tell.


 I barely felt him pull out of me for the 10th time at least.... everything was just blurred together. My body was like a liquid, hanging limp as he laughed.

"Still nothing? Ok fine."

He pushed the table against the wall, i was smashed in-between them. He laughed and said he would be back soon for another "love fuck". I just cried, I was in only a ripped bra that wasn't even functional seeing as the cups were ripped off. My clothes sitting in front of me ripped and shredded except my black hoodie that was oversized. My hair was all over the place, black side from 4 broken ribs, black and blue face. Wrist covered in rope but were bruised and raw... but worse was the bruising in and around my privates. My chest was full of bite marks and bits of blood with dark hand prints and slap marks, but my lower half was raw, bloody, and still full of him. I tried to cry but was to dehydrated too... I was defeated.

My body was on fire and then I heard the door, I cringed and tried to hide my face as I whimpered. Don't look. Don't make a sound.... Resist. Even though your body is like water, draped over a table... You can't let him win. Vada will find you, Raf will find you.... Someone will save you. I flinched and tried my hardest to coil in, use my last strand of strength to give a week fetal position.... Especially since I knew my body couldn't of moved more then a inch. He's gonna laugh, he'll laugh and beat me. But instead of laughter, I heard multiple feet running my way.

"We found her!" A male yelled.

"Hey honey, stay with me.... stay with me." A female voice rang in my ears as my eyes opened up.

A brunette woman grabbed the hoodie and tossed it over me as a tall blonde pulled a knife and cut the ropes. I fell back and she barely managed to slip the hoodie over me as they pulled the table back to get to me.

"Shhhhhhh, hey its ok... it's ok... my name is Olivia, I'm with the police."

She slowly moved closer as the blonde and a black guy moved the table across the room so I could be pulled out. I couldn't fight if I wanted, just let her slowly help me up. I stood on shaky legs, made it a step before the blonde caught me. He lifted me up in a bridal carry and carried me out to a ambulance.

My head was spinning, heart beat weak, and body completely numb... but I heard one of them say something about calling Barba immediately. Barba?... They mean Rafi. They mean my bro... My Rafael. That was the first time I smiled in what felt like a week.


The blonde looked down at me. I winced at the burn in my throat when I tried to speak, so I pushed through it.

"Raf and Vada... por favor."

The man hoped in the squad after calling out he would ride with the 'vic'. I tried to stay awake, forced my eyes open Everytime they closed. The paramedics told me to relax, I was safe and almost to the hospital. Yet the urge to fight was still there, it wouldn't leave till I Knew I was safe. I need to see them to be safe.

I felt the ambulance slow and the siren kick off, before I could realize we were there, the doors were open and they were pulling the stretcher down and rushing me in. A flashlight in my eyes, cold metal to my chest to check my heart... A pulse being read off my right wrist as I heard a bunch of talking. It was all jumbled up.

"The heart beat is slow."

"She has heavy bruising down her side."

"Heavy bleeding from below, deep cuts.... We need to get her patched up and get circulation back up."

"Call a code, all staff on hand in surgery room A! I think she has a lung punctured and the ribs need immediate attention."

I barely stayed conscious as they rolled me into the ER and back to be treated. The blonde that rode in with the ambulance stopped at the doors, he pulled his phone and started a call..., then it all went black.

Chapter Text


It was almost 3 pm when my phone rang.


"We found her."

My face broke into a smile and Nevada quickly looked over. A glimmer of hope to be seen in his eyes.

"She was just taken to mercy, Carisi is waiting their for a update from the doctor. I'm on my way too."

I hung up and grabbed my jacket, "they found her... let's go."

Nevada didn't move.

"Hey... did you hear me?"

"Yeah... but would she really want to see m..."

"Dios mio, Por qué me estás peleando por esto? (dear god, why are you fighting me on This). Get your ass up now. I'm calling mami and leaving to see her.... she would want you there."

"Mami wouldn't.... I just cause trouble." He sounded void of emotion.

"Nevada Ramirez! I just said that the woman that loves you more then anything in the world is alive and you don't budge... she will want to see you and mami will care less if your there or not. It's about her, about Grace."I look at a text from Carisi, "she asked for us."

He didn't even look up, Time for the big guns.

"Nevada, she needs you right now. She's always needed you. You protected her from our papi when I was gone at college. You kept her safe in the hieghts, gave her her own place when her and mami fought about you two's relationship... I might be her brother, but you are her hero. You always have been."

He nodded and then slowly stood up, "let's go."

His men drove us as I called mami, she was only a few blocks away and would probably rather run then ride in here. We arrived at the doors and ran in, Carisi was sitting in the waiting room with Liv.

I walked over, "any word?"

"She has 4 broken ribs, a bruised jaw, black eye..... and clear signs of rape." Carisi sighed, "doctor said the main problem was dehydration though."

I knew Nevada sat down behind me and had his face covered, "anything else?"

They looked at him before Liv spoke, "she was in rough shape... but she was still there. She wasn't going through shock or fighting us off."

I nodded, "thank you."

I sat beside Nevada as mami ran in and right to my side. She didn't ask a thing, not a sound... just took my hand and then the miracle. She rubbed Nevada's back lightly as he leaned forward to hide his face that was barely being held together. No one addressed it... they just let it be. About 30 minutes later, the doctor came out and addressed the group.

"She is still unconscious, But she is looking good. 4 broken ribs, bruised cheek, black eye... lacerations to the chest and genitalia." He paused turning to the detectives and speaking softer, "the rape kit has been completed and they did find plenty of DNA."

"Thank you doctor," I sighed, "when can we see her?"

"Just a few minutes, they are cleaning her up to prevent any infections. As soon as they are done, a nurse will lead you back."

I nodded and hugged mami as she hid her crying face, her hand clasping Nevada's hand as he struggled not to cry. God.... why her? Why did you choose her?


My heart was beating slow... almost non-existently once I heard the doctor say rape. My body numb, I leaned back and let my head fall back as a silent pryer touched my lips but never came out. Dios mio... don't take her.... por favor don't let her go. I heard a muffled cry and knew it was Lucia right away, I didn't look over but could tell Raf was hugging her to quiet her. Then came the surprising part, her hand grabbed mine and squeezed.

For a fiesty, strong woman... Lucia could be a sweetheart... Even to me. She might curse my name, berate me, insult me, when Grace drags me around her she has thrown plenty of things at me... but she understood I truelly cared for Grace. She seen my hurt, my honest to god feeling of caring for her daughter whether it was by birth or acceptance, her daughter..... she wouldn't say it but she was glad I was here. She needed the comfort, even if it from her mijo (son) and the bastardo that her daughter is dating... she wanted me to be there. The moment her hand took mine to squeeze lightly, I knew she wanted me there.

A nurse came out and escorted us back. She walked us to the room and told us to call if she woke up, the detectives would need to talk to her. Rafael nodded and opened the door, he took the first step in, always the bravest of the family.

"Hey gracie girl, we came to sit with you."

Raf walked in and pulled the only two chairs to her left side. He helped Lucia to the first one and sat beside her holding her hand as she held back a cry. He rubbed her back and i watched the two look at Grace, the monitor behind them showing a steady heart beat. I then realized that my body wouldn't move... Not that I had the strength to handle the sight I knew was just a few steps forward.

I couldn't do it... I couldn't walk in there. Couldn't see my Grace covered in bruises and cuts. Couldn't sit there praying she woke up. Hell, I couldn't even take a step closer without having to see more then her feet under the covers. I couldn't do anything at this point, if I walked in there I would fall apart. If I seen her like that I would want revenge, want to find the man and rip him apart piece by piece..... I would want to do what I do best and I can't. The police need to take care of this, I need to stay away but for some reason... I...I....I just need to stay away, I'm the reason she got hurt.  I'll be in jail if I found the bastardo that did this, then Grace would be worse off. Or possibly better off...

"Nevada? Are you coming in?" My head snapped up to see Rafael staring, "Nevada... she wants you here."

"I..." My throat was forcing out a excuse as he Interrupted.

"Need to stay here with your girlfriend. Por favor."

He's right... She needs me. Or do I just need her? Am I the one hurting her by being close?

"Nevada.... Grace would want you here."

I nodded and slowly stepped in, her beaten face coming into view much like her arms... I felt sick and anger rising up. Rafael noticed and motioned me to continue How the hell can he still play the rock? After this... how can he not fall apart?..... Always the glue to hold the family together, even now, I still don't see any cracks.

Chapter Text


I felt heavy, my body tingling and aching as I stirred awake. My eyes struggling to focus, a blurry room slowly coming together correctly. I smiled at the sight, Rafael sitting beside mami as they slept and a Nevada sleeping in a folding chair with his head in my lap. Everyone looked peaceful despite the uncomfortable positions. I barely caught myself doing it, my hand running through Nevada's hair in the same soothing manner I always used when he laid his head on me. He stirred just a little, his sleepy thoughts hiding the connection to him as he mumbled.

"Grace don't stop.... that feels amazing." He purred as he tucked his head down into my leg.

I yelped a little in pain from the pressure against my bruised skin. His head shot up as he put a hand over mine, mouth a gap.

"Lo siento Grace... are you ok?"

I nodded and bit back a tear, smiling as I see two more wake up. Raf quickly took my hand, giving a soft squeeze as mami smiled back.

"Oh my baby, Gracias a Dios que estás bien ... Yo estaba preocupado enfermo. (Thank God you're ok ... I was worried sick.)" Mami kissed my forehead.

"Lo siento mami."

"It's not your fault Gracie, you didn't do this to yourself." Raf kissed my hand and pressed the nurse button.

"It is though..." I went into a coughing fit and seen three people jump to help me.

"Shhhhhhh it's ok breath, just breath." Raf calmed me as Nevada grabbed a glass of water from the sink.

I sipped the water and watched a nurse come in and help the situation as she called the desk to have them get the detectives. When my throat had settled, two people stood in the door way. They asked to talk to me alone and I watched everyone get up, I quickly held onto raf's hand.

"Por favor rafi, stay."

He looked to the door and nodded, "ok, I'll stay with you Gracie girl."

Mami moved towards the door as Nevada gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead before following. Raf sat back down and held my hand as the two walked in.

"Hi I'm lieutenant benson and this is detective tutuola." The tall brunette spoke as she shut the door, "we need to ask some questions about your kidnapping."

I nodded and waited for the questions.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Benson sat down in the chair by my feet.

"I don't remember much about the abduction. But I woke up in a dark room, tied down with rope and bleeding. I had a stabbing pain in my side so I'm guessing broken ribs." They nodded so I continued, "he beat me, yelled at me constantly. Then...then he... he," I bit my lip as raf squeezed my hand, "he raped me."

"Can you describe the man or did you recognize him?"

"I knew him, I worked with him like... 6 years ago, right after I started dating Nevada." I shifted in bed a little as Raf looked over, "I had a issue with this chef. He liked me, a lot and I blew him off. He pushed and even sent flowers to my home, it creeped me out so I went to my boss and said he was making me uncomfortable. He was fired."

"You never told me that," Raf looked a little concerned.

"The boss canned him and I just never seen it as a issue.... no need to tell the ADA about a stalker that stopped stalking."

The woman looked at him and he stopped, squeezing my hand as I continued, "I don't know a name, that restaurant was closed two years ago."

"Is there anything that could give anything to help find a owner for records." The man asked.

I jumped a little and squeezed Raf's hand, his body tensing and fighting the urge to hold me. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back slowly.

"Record... he said he lost his kid and went to jail."

"Any kind of time frame?"

"Within that year I think." I sounded unsure and really needed reassurance.

"Grace, you ok?" Raf asked as he leaned in.

I shook my head no and he quickly pulled my head to his chest as I whimpered. He squeezed me tight and whispered soothingly in my ear. I felt too pathetic, I was falling apart and my brother was the only thing stopping me from running right now..... And my whole body being bruised. It hit all at once, the feelings of being a victim, my body felt like it was ripped apart, I was raped. My body and mind forcing me to realize what I went through, I couldn't take it.

"Shhhhh, I got you Gracie." Rafael held me as I slowly felt like I was falling apart, "breath Grace, just breath."

"I can't do this... I just want Vada." I muttered in his chest.

He must've motioned or something because when I lifted my head, it was just Raf and Vada. My face was soaked, I was crying just from the sight of vada and what had happened, how can he love me after this?. Raf stepped back and Vada pulled me in as i cried, trying to calm me down. Vada let a tear fall before he quickly brushed it away, I figured he didn't want me to see him like that.


Rafael had sent the detectives out and asked me to come in. I walk in to see Grace a complete mess, crying into Raf's chest as he motioned me in. He got her to look at me before she just broke down. I pulled her close and kissed her head, a tear escaping that I quickly wipe away. No, you got to be strong.... Raf can't be the rock alone, he's gonna crack from all the pressure alone. I felt every little shake and shiver of her body, shushing her and reminding her of how much I love her. Rafael stepped out to give us a moment, I had her calmer now and just held her more for my assurance then hers.



"Don't leave me.... por favor don't."

My heart dropped, "cariño, I'd never leave you."

"But I..I....I'm..."

"Perfect. Beautiful. Amazing.... I wouldn't leave you for anything." I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her closer, "nothing will ever change that.... nothing."

    It was late October, I was walking to visit mami after she had a small scare and went to the hospital. Now that she was home, I was going to drop in. Before I could enter the building I heard a sniffle and looked up and over by the side fire escape to see Grace sitting out in a bathrobe. What the hell? Mierda, (damnit Grace). I quickly climbed up the fire escape, my twenty-five years old body working quick to reach her. I stopped on the top step and looked down at her, she was wearing only a robe easily seen with how much leg was showing.

"Niñita, What's wrong?" I bent down and watched her wipe her face. 

"I'm fine Vada."

"Your not fine, your outside in fourty degree weather wearing only a bathrobe. What the hell happened and who am I Killing." I sat beside her and lifted my arm so she would tuck in close to me.

"It's nothing."

"Dad?" I whispered and she shook her head furiously no, "ok, ok.... Then who?"

"It's nothing really." She hid her face in my chest.


"A stupid boy from school. I thought he liked me and he was cute so I went out with him and tonight we were gonna...." She paused as I squeezed her tight.

"Será mejor que no lo hagas.(You better not have)."

"No... We didn't. He wanted to but a girl Interrupted and I found out he just wanted sex." She sniffled, "I actually liked him."

"Oh Gracie.... Boys are pigs." I sighed and slid her into my lap, "no boy will ever be good enough for you."

"I'm going to die alone." 

" just need to wait till your older." I kissed her forehead, "your just to young to understand."

"Sure whatever. Thanks vada." She pushed up and was about to leave when I grabbed her wrist softly.

"Grace, your a beautiful girl. Guys will come and go, they always do... But you deserve the best. Don't worry, you have plenty of time." I watched her face twist back up and she started crying again.

She fell back to my lap as I lifted her and carried her through her window. I laid her on the bed and kissed her forehead, I just wanted her to stop crying. It killed me to see her watering eyes. I sat down beside her and smiled softly as she shot up to hug me, her arms tight around me.

"You know, I always had a crush on you. Especially when Raf would bring you by for supper and you would walk me out of the apartment when things got ugly.... You really were a hero to me Vada." She smiled at me as I smirked.

"I never want to see you hurt niñita... I'd kill anyone who hurt you. You deserve the world." I loosened my grip, watching her smiled.

"Or just you." She whispered as my heart fell.


"Escucha vada, te amo. (Listen vada, I love you.)"

"Your fifteen, you don't know what love is." I suddenly felt the need to put space between us.

"But vada... I..."

"I don't even know what love is! How could you know?" I whispered a little harsh to try and break the moment.

She is fifteen. She is practically your little sister..... Rafael would murder you for just thinking about it. That is breaking laws that are in place for good reason... It is wrong. Very wrong. 

She frowned and tried to hug me as I stood up and stepped out of reach. Her face was in a new twisted pain, something much deeper then it was five minutes ago on the fire escape. No. No, no, no.... Let her cry if it stops this... This is wrong. One look as she sniffled and tucked back broke him, he dropped back down and pushed her messy hair back from her face.

"Shhhhhhh...... Niñita, hey, it's ok."

"No it's not... I'm disgusting." She let a tear slip down her cheek, "even you won't touch me."

My mouth dropped, Shit... Don't. Please.. .please don't. I kissed her cheek, after wiping her tear away.

"Hey, you know I love you. Your my niñita, my favorite little girl." I smiled as she nodded, "but it's wrong. Your so young...."

"Just go. I don't need to hear this again." She pulled away and I closed my eyes, "you don't care. You never did... I was just Raf's little sister. The third wheel you hated having around."

"No." I sighed and grabbed her arms so she would stop fighting me, "I love you Grace. I do.... Don't do this, your not ready."

She shook her head, "you call me niñita but I'm not a little girl anymore."


She pulled her robe belt and and pushed the robe back. She laid back on the bed and smiled up at me.... My eyes trying not to look. Her light brown hair laid out around her, her tan skin standing out against the white sheets... Her grey eyes locked on my face. turn away, don't look. I lost the fight, she looked like a angel. I looked down at her, naked on the bed. Don't do this... She is too young. She isn't ready... Don't... I bent down above her and kissed her as her hands pushed my shirt off. I closed my eyes and begged myself to stop. you can't do this... This is wrong. Imagining her like this is bad enough, doing it is worse. Stop...stop... Stop... Her hand had started on undoing my pants and I froze. Stop this.... You have to stop. 

"Vada please..." Her lips parted softly, "please. Vada I want it to be you."

My hand held her side as she pulled me free her eyes going wide at the sight of me. I went to pull back when her hand stopped me, her eyes pleading for me like Everytime I imagined this. Then it happened, I kissed her and let it lay on her thigh.

"Are you sure your ready?" My eyes watching as she nodded and kissed me deeper then before, "I need to hear it niñita."

"Please Vada... Yes." She frowned as I pulled back, slipping down her.

"Niñita, your not ready for it... It'll hurt." I pulled back and went to slip a finger in as she pouted, "but Vada..."

Her mouth flew open as I pushed it in, a single finger as I leaned down to lick her as well. If I was going to be her first time, it was going to be damn near perfect. I had to give her what every girl deserved, something she would never forget and always expect. I worked slowly, curling up a finger and probing softly in-between... My tongue lapping as she panted. Hit every good spot, make sure she's nice and wet... Make sure it won't hurt to bad. I pushed in a second, then a third. Soft and slow... Watching to make sure it doesn't hurt her. 

After a few minutes I pulled out and watched as she looked at me, "god vada... Please."

I nodded and positioned myself above her, lining up and watching her... She isn't ready... don't... Don't... I dropped my lips to hers, a passionate kiss to distract as I slowly pushed in. The head was in and I started a soft rocking motion as I felt it, Last chance...

"This will hurt alittle..." i missed her starting to squirm but caught when she pushed up and broke it for me. Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened to let out a small gasp that I quickly swallowed up. She looked like she was in pain for only seconds, forcing my eyes not to look down at the blood. Her eyes softened, begging me to say anything as she was lost. I kept rocking until I was fully sheathed, my eyes watching her face carefully as I stopped fully inside her.

"I'm giving you time to adjust. Don't want to hurt you. (My angel, relax or it'll hurt more.)" I kissed her jaw as she sighed and tried to adjust, "(good girl)."

She whimpered and rocked her hips, my eyes shut. Oh god... She really is perfect. God this is better then I imagined. Her eyes fluttered as she moaned, i'm fucked... What am I doing? Her eyes opened and she smiled, she looked so happy in this moment.

"Oh Nevada... Por favor, (don't stop)." Her body spasmed, "por favor papi."

I felt my hips move, a soft rock that moved her up the bed just a little. Her head went back and she reached up to hold my shoulders as I did all the work. god she is beautiful... And did she just call me papi? My head was getting foggy but I forced myself to stay focused. This isn't a one night stand, a whore wanting coke.... This is Grace. This is that little girl I always protected and teased, my niñita. Dios mio, what am I doing? She's fifteen! She's just a child! 

"Oh god... I-I-I-I.... I-I feeeeeeeel f-f-f-funny." She gasped as her whole body constricted and her back arched up.

"Just breath niñita." I kissed her cheek, "let it pass."

She looked absolutely perfect in that moment, her body arched up to touch mine as her hands were clutching the sheets for dear life... Perfect. I was dizzy, head feeling heavy as I tried to pull out... But not before I shot inside her. My eyes wide as she moaned through it, a shot in and two more on her and the bed. oh shit... God please.

"vada.... That... That was.... Amazing." She opened her eyes to look up at me as I got up, her face dropping, "por favor don't go."

"I'm not." I kissed her hand, "we need to clean up, it won't be comfortable if we don't."

I walked over and picked up a towel she had in the room with a bottle of water. I wet it on one end after wiping myself off on the other side, a soft wipe off the wet side to clean off the blood. I turned to her and she looked frightened, she was looking at the blood.

"It's ok niñita, your fine."

"I'm bleeding." She looked up in tears.

"No, your hymen... It bleeds when it breaks. Your fine, see?" I wiped her softly and showed her there was nothing there now, "your good. I promise you are. No injuries."

She nodded as I wiped her up a little, she softened and let me clean her up before I stuffed the small towel in my coat. She smiled at me as her eyes fluttered.

"Por favor, No te vayas (don't go.)"

I sighed and kissed her forehead, "ok... But let's put on clothes. Just in case."

She nodded and I tossed her a pj bottom and t shirt. I pulled on my boxer briefs and t-shirt, I laid beside her In her bed as she curled up to me. I just stroked her back, and hummed in her ear as she fell asleep.

I stared at that same girl, only older, her tears dried as she slept in the hospital bed. She looked peaceful around the bruises, still beautiful as always. I felt my anger boil at the thought of someone hurting her like this. I needed air as I felt my phone vibrate. I checked it before I stood to leave, Lucia walked in.

"Going somewhere?"

"Business. I'll be back soon." I kissed Grace's head and went for the door.

"Don't interfere in the case." She warned, "let Raf work this out."

"Wouldn't dream of it Mami."

She frowned, "just be here when she wakes up... She'll want you here."

I nodded and left, the Escalade waiting out front.