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Science Mishaps and Fancy Lingerie

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“Hey Scotty,” Luis called through the door.

“Yeah?” Scott called back, not looking up from his book as the door opened and footsteps indicated his approach.

“So you know how you too’ me not to deal with the Pyms if you ain’t there?” he started, voice sounding a little off. Scott sighed.

“Yes, I remember,” Scott said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why?”

“Doc jus’ said he needed me to keep an eye on the monitors while he messed with somethin’, and I did but something went wrong an’ I got hit with something and blacked out and — “

“He did what?” Scott exclaimed, spinning his chair around. “Why didn’t you ca— holy shit!”

Luis was standing a few steps in from the doorway, but instead of his usual look, Luis looked like a busty woman with a familiar haircut. He winced.

“What the hell Luis?” Scott yelled, hopping up. “How did you —? When did they —? Why did he — ?

“It’s temporary,” Luis said, holding out his arms. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?” Scott echoed. “Luis - my boss just broke my best friend!”

“I’m fine,” Luis insisted. “Really, it’s kind of cool.”

“Cool?”

“Okay, I freaked out at first too,” Luis said. “But I’ll be back to normal in like a day, so I figure I can like take advantage of it.”

“Take advantage of it?” Scott repeated. “How?”

“I have breasts, bro!” Luis exclaimed. Scott immediately turned his gaze to the ceiling. Luis sighed and approached, putting a hand on Scott’s shoulder. “Dude, you can look, they’re awesome.”

“Really?” Scott clarified.

“They’re like… super heavy?” Luis said. “But Hope took me to this fancy-ass lingerie place, right? She was like ‘I can find you a binder if you want man, whatever you need’ and I thought about it because I was like freakin’ at first ‘cuz this is like crazy but then I was like, you know, no one gets to do this shit so like I can see how the other half lives and so I was like ‘nah I wanna go full femme, let’s find me a ballgown or some shit,’ so we started at the lingerie place and then we went to Hope’s fancy ass tailor and the dude like hooked me up bro.”

“I…” Scott faltered. “I feel like I’ve seen you wear that a billion times.”

“Yeah,” Luis admitted. “It started to feel off after a bit so I jus’ put on my old clothes over the bra ’n stuff. Much better - hell of a weird feeling for a bit there.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Scott repeated.

“You’d’ve freaked out,” Luis said. “You did freak out. You get all panicky, I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Well I’m worried,” Scott said. “Are you okay? Do you feel okay? Does anything hurt?”

“Dude, dude, chill out,” Luis said. “I promise you they ran every test in the freakin’ book on me. I’m fine, I’m stuck in a perfectly healthy female body - jus’ for a day or so. So I want to have some fun and I need your help.”

“My help?”

“I need you to be my wingman,” Luis said, face serious.

“What?” 

“Okay, so I figure sex has to be different for a chick, right? So I figure while I got this body, might as well try it out.”

“Luis!” Scott exclaimed. “What are you — ! You’re just going to hook up with some random guy just to try it out? That is not safe or healthy! Guys are disgusting, you know that, you are one!”

“Okay, yes, but —“ Luis started. 

“What if you get like an STD or something? What if someone kidnaps you and puts you in the back of his windowless van?” Scott continued.

“Dude would you relax,” Luis snapped. “Some dude already tried to feel me up on the bus I laid him out. Besides, if I have you wingmanning you can help me figure out the best prospects.”

“No way, I am not helping,” Scott said firmly, sitting back down. Luis pulled him back to his feet.

“I’d do it for you,” he insisted.

“I would never ask you to help me find some random guy to have sex with if I ended up in a female body due to some crackpot Hank idea,” Scott said firmly.

“You wouldn’t be curious?” Luis clarified. “For real?”

“Well…” Scott trailed off, considering. “I’d probably… explore what was going on down there, but I wouldn’t want to randomly hook up with someone - I don’t like doing that in my own body, let alone a completely strange one. I’d need to have someone I trust completely, because who knows what’s going on.”

“You make a fair point,” Luis allowed, crossing his arms to think on it further.

“Thank you,” Scott said.

“Think Kurt would do it?” Luis asked.

“Do what?” Scott asked. He paused as the realization hit him, “Luis, no! Ew, that’s gross - it’s Kurt!”

“Well he wouldn’t be my first choice,” Luis admitted. He was quiet, leaning back against Scott’s desk.

“Who would be your first choice?” Scott couldn’t help but ask.

“Tony Stark,” Luis replied instantly.

“I could see that,” Scott decided. “I don’t think Hank’d give you his number though.” Luis rolled his eyes.

“I meant Tony Stark in like a mythical top fantasy kinda way, not in the realistic kinda way,” he said. “Realistically I think the dude I’d trust the most would be you.”

“Really?” Scott asked, surprised.

“Yeah, man,” Luis said with a shrug.

“That’s… weird but flattering, man.”

“But you’re way too neurotic to ever actually help a brother out, so next would have to be Kurt by process of elimination. Unless you think Sandra would be okay loaning Dave out… or a threesome, that could be interesting.”

“I am not neurotic!” Scott protested.

“Scotty you pract’ly had a heart attack when I walked in.”

“I was surprised!” Scott insisted. “I feel like a lot of people would have that reaction if their best friend suddenly had a different body and didn’t bother to even call!”

“You really gotta let that go dude, next time I get messed up by one of the Doc’s experiments I’ll call,” Luis said.

“Thank-you, that’s all I ask,” Scott said. “Wait, no - don’t get involved in any of Hank’s projects!”

“You did,” Luis countered.

“It was either that or jail,” Scott reminded him.

“… yeah that was kind of messed up,” Luis allowed. “But still - you got super powers! With this I could be, like, a master of disguise!”

“You could not,” Scott said. “You still look like you. Anyone who knows your face would still know it’s you. And how did you even wind up helping on this anyway?”

“Oh,” Luis said. “Well I was at the farmer’s market, looking for some kale ‘cause Dave’s on this health kick and asked me to pick some up, and I ran into Hope on a date with —“

“Luis,” Scott cut in with a sigh. Luis rolled his eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh.

“Fine. I ran into Hope and she was like ‘hey you busy? after this I gotta help my dad with something and we could use another set of hands’ and I was like ‘sure, anything for you boo,’ so we went to the lab and the Doc was all worked up and told me to watch the monitors for spikes in the blue graph while he was doing something and then there was like a power surge and I blacked out and when I woke up I looked like this.”

“I wonder what he was even trying to do,” Scott muttered, running a hand over his face.

“So you in or what?” Luis demanded.

“In?” Scott clarified. “wait, really?”

“I know it’s not a lack of interest - you’ve been starin’ at my rack since I walked in.”

“You said I — ! No, it’s not that… it’s… I mean it’s us, what if it makes things weird?” Scott said. “What if - what if your body’s just been switched with some like… mirrorverse Luis’ body? Then it’s not even yours!”

“Bro. You’re trippin’ right now, but I can promise you that if that is true, than mirrorverse Luis is probably trying to get laid right now to see how it feels too.*” Luis said. “Nerd.”

“Shut up. Are you seriously asking me to have sex with you?” Scott asked. Luis shrugged.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Okay,” Scott said. “Okay, fine, let’s do it.”

“You sure you’re up for it?” Luis asked, eyebrows raised. “Five minutes ago you were losing your shit.”

In lieu of a response, Scott walked close and pressed against Luis, pulling him in for a kiss. There was a beat before Luis responded, and pulled back a second.

“Hey Scotty, warn a guy,” he said before lurching forward and pulling Scott into a searing kiss.

Scott hummed in response, biting at Luis’ bottom lip as he moved them around, pushing Luis up to the end of his bed and shoving him lightly down, working furiously trying to unbutton his shirt. Luis sat up and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down to join him on the bed, his own fingers working on Scott’s buttons.

“You know what you’re doin’,” he breathed. He leaned unto press rough kisses against the side of Scott’s neck. Scott shivered.

“You keep doing that, I’m going to end up ripping your shirt,” Scott managed to grit out.

“Fair’s fair,” Luis said, pulling at Scott’s shirt until the top two buttons popped open. Scott laughed as he stretched back to pull it off. Luis pulled off his own, revealing a delicate bra in a mint green with intricate lace patterns.

“Jesus Christ,” Scott muttered. Luis wore a wicked grin.

“That’s right, you’re weak to lace, yeah?” he said. “It’s a matched set, y’know.” As he adds that, he starts to tug off his pants too and shimmying until they fell low around his knees. This is an incredibly distracting move in his current body and Scott lets out a low hiss, dropping down and flinging Luis’ pants to the floor and hooking his fingers around the band of his underwear.

“You’re an asshole, you know that,” Scott muttered.

“You got a condom?” Luis asks, unable to help arching up as Scott teased his fingers up his exposed inner thighs.

“Not yet,” Scott muttered. “You want the full experience, right? I know right where to start.”