Well here I bloody well am, teaming up with the slayer.
Honestly I don’t know how I got into this mess. One minute me and Dru are having a grand old time killing folks. Trying to off the slayer.
Then the newly soulless Angelus comes along and botches the whole thing, with his plan to kill the slayer, aka his soddin’ ex-girl, and destroy the fucking world. I mean, I talk big, but I don’t want hell to actually break loose. I’m bad, but there are bigger, more badder things that will kick my ass,
And the way Dru looks at him….
God I just want to bite someone.
But I’ll get her back. Even if I have to work with a slayer named ‘Buffy.’
I finally turn and walk out the door, not bothering to slam it behind me.
When I know they think I’m gone, I light a cigarette in the yard, sit down in the grass and closes my eyes.
Well, I’ve done it. I’ve made a deal with the slayer.
Kinda like making a deal with the devil for vamps.
My cigarette’s almost to the end, so I drop it in the grass and start to stand up, when I here drama coming from the Summers women.
‘No. We are not calling the police.’ I hear the slayer say, sounding tired as all hell. Their voices are far, but being a creature of the night, I can hear them as if they are next to me.
I hear Joyce’s voice, joyfully ignorant as always. ‘Well, now that we know that you’re innocent, it’s-‘
‘What? You thought I was guilty? Jeez, feeling the love in this room!’ Buffy chimes in sarcastically, making me snicker in the shadows of her yard.
I sneak closer, so I can hear what’s going on. I squat in the bushes next to the kitchen window, listening to the titter coming from the house. I’m really stooping a new low.
‘No, I didn’t think that. It’s just…. Now we have proof.’ Joyce says calmly, likes she’s just solved the problem.
‘We have my word, Mom. Not proof.’ Buffy tells her, as if she knows the difference too bloody well.
‘Well you’re not going to hurt them are you?’
I reckon Buffy’s ready to stake her mum to the wall right about now. ‘I’m a slayer, not a postal worker.’
Someone picks up a phone.
‘Cops can’t fight demons.’ The phone slams down. ‘I have to do it.’
‘Do what? Buffy, what is happening?’ The bloody woman sounds so confused, I almost feel sorry for the old bat.
‘Just have another drink.’
I hear the glass that Joyce had been holding earlier smash. ‘Don’t you talk to me that way! You don’t get to just dump something like this on me and pretend its nothing!’
‘I’m sorry, Mom, but I don’t have time for this.’ ‘No! I’m tired of ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘you wouldn’t understand.’ I am your mother, and you will make time to explain yourself.’
‘I told you.’ The girl sounds worn as leather. ‘I’m a vampire slayer.’
‘Well, I just don’t accept!’
Yeah, like she has any say on that.
Finally, The slayer loses it.
‘Open you eyes, Mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights. The weird occurrences. How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven’t figured it out?’
‘Well it stops now!’
‘No, it doesn’t stop! It never stops!’ Buffy raises her voice. “Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any Idea how lonely it is? How Dangerous? I would love to upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or…. God, even studying! But I have to save the world…. again.’
I almost cheer for the damn girl! Good on her!
But then I remember she’s talking about being the vampire slayer and I shut up.
‘No. This is insane.’ Joyce tells her. Like her kid is bonkers. Then I realize she probably does think that. ‘Buffy, you need help.’
‘I’m not crazy! What I need for you to chill. I have to go!’ I hear her walk toward the door, but stop as Joyce grabs her.
‘No. I’m not letting you out of this house.’ As if she could make her stay there.
‘You can’t stop me.’
‘Oh yes I-‘
There’s another crash, and I step to one of the windows to see what bloody hell-
Then I see Joyce, shoved on the floor. Buffy’s standing next to the door, about to leave.
I hear a growl come out of Joyce, but it could have been a hunger wolf from the sound of it.
‘You walk out that door, don’t even think about coming back!’
Buffy gives her mum a long stare, and I wonder what she’ll do.
But she turns to the door, and leaves her mum on the floor, upset as all hell, with her head in her hands.
And there’s me, standing like a prat.
And for one moment… I forgot my own problems.
For one insane moment, I wondered about the Slayer’s.
I follow her in the shadows. She’s crying, but not as much as I reckoned she would.
‘What do you want Spike?’ She whispers, finally noticing me. But she doesn’t even look my way.
I slink my way out of the dark, and look in her eyes. ‘Why would you do something as bloody stupid as that?’
She finally looks at me, with her red eyes…
And then slugs me and makes me fall on my ass.
‘How did you- Oh of course you listened in.’ She turns and starts to walk away, when I get up and chase after her. What is happening to me?
Maybe I’ve been around Dru and her crazed head too long.
‘Slayer!’ I holler. She ignores me and keeps walking.
‘Buffy! Just stop for one bloody minute!’
She stops, turns, and glares at me. ‘Fine. Talk.’
I stare at her trying to get my thoughts straight.
‘Well as I see it, Pet… You’re a wanted fugitive. Your soddin’ partner in crime is deader then I am. Your mates aren’t any help. And you’ve been forced pal around with me, not to my pleasure either I may add! Shall I continue?’
She scowls, but doesn’t say anything.
‘Right. You have to slaughter your newly soulless boy-toy and banish him to hell, and now your mum’s given you the old heave ho! It seems like your life falling to pieces.’
‘What are you getting at, Spike?’ She hisses.
I sigh. ‘What I’m trying to ask is, what is the soddin’ point? If you’ve got nothing left, what’s the point in saving the saving the world when you have nothing?’
She glares at me for fucking ever, and for a second, I think she’ll stake me right there. But she just bloody stands there.
‘Okay.’ The slayer finally sighs, looking right at me. ‘Let me ask you a question. Your slut girlfriend has the hots for my ex. Angel is probably going to kick you’re ass. And even if you and Drusilla survive and run off, She won’t want to be with a trader like you after she hears you worked with me. You’ll be miserable.’
She takes a step closer. ‘So, let me ask you, what’s the point, Spike?’
I stand there, and sum up why I’m hear in a few measly words.
‘Well what else am I gonna bloody do?’
‘Well there you go.’
I must look baffled as all hell, because she cries out ‘Oh for God’s sake! Do I have to explain every detail of my life to you!’
She glares at me. “I would rather lose my friends, my home, Angel… God, I would rather die then sit up in my room just, hoping everything’s going to blow over. And you know something about just hoping? It never works. Believe me, I know.'
She pauses for a minute. ‘And as for my mother… I would rather know she was safe hated me rather than know she was dead because I did nothing.’
She turns and doesn’t look at me. ‘I hope that answers your question, Spike.’
She sprints away from me, and this time I don’t chase after her.
But the moronic thing is… I want to.
There is something definitely wrong with me.
I got to think about the important things. Get Dru, Kicking Angel’s ass, leaving this god forsaken town-
This is going to be a long night. I think, running to the soon to be battleground.
Trying to leave my thoughts of the slayer behind me as I run.