Now, Ian did say he could wait, and it’s not like Mickey was holding out on him, but circumstances had prevented them from having privacy for long enough to get anything in but a sneaky kiss here and there for the past several days, and it was starting to drive him a little crazy.
Before they were together, they still spent a ton of time hanging out with each other, but as friends you don’t consider these things as much. How many minutes it might take you to finish, what the chances are of someone walking in on you are, how dangerous it could be if they did. Privacy in the Gallagher house is just hard to find, with at least one of your five siblings constantly bursting into your room.
Both Ian and Mickey are more than aware of this though, so they try to keep things somewhat similar to how they were before, to avoid tempting each other too much to make a stupid decision. A decision that might end up in a younger Gallagher walking in on them. They continue to act like they are just friends still, but both of them also carry the knowledge that they are more now, and are just waiting for the right opportunity to act on it.
And to be honest, as much as Ian did want to have sex with Mickey again, it had been a couple months since their first time together at Oak Forest Campgrounds, and that had also been unplanned, spontaneous. Away from home, it was easier out there.
The fact that they’d grown so close since then was also putting a certain sort of pressure on Ian’s shoulders, that he wasn’t sure Mickey was aware of.
What if he couldn’t make him feel as good as he did the last time? What if it was awkward this time, or he did something wrong?
There would be two months of buildup before this time, and last time there was just a day. As much as Ian wants to have sex… fuck, just being around Mickey is enough to get him going sometimes, he’s actually almost glad for the initial lack of opportunities, because it gives him some time to get over his mounting nerves.
Mickey is a fucking force of nature sometimes, everything about him is raw, and Ian can’t think of anything worse than fucking things up, after their first time was so perfect.
Especially now that they’re actually together.
Mickey and him walk home together after school as per usual the following Wednesday, with the exception of Lip not being there with them like he usually is. The three of them had been standing outside of the school, having a smoke before they headed home, when one of Lip’s classmates had approached them.
Jenna Briggs. Typical pink loving blonde girly girl, but hey, Lip’s not picky.
Maybe she’s a real catch and Ian just can’t tell because he’s gay. Who fucking knows. But this girl approaches Lip in front of his brother and another fucking guy and flat out says, “I got a new mattress, want to help me test it out?”
“Really?” Lip had turned to his brother and Mickey to see if they were actually fucking hearing this, and of course they were, so Lip just shrugged, a big grin on his face, “Sure”. As soon as they were gone, Mickey and Ian had just laughed at the exchange, and continued on home by themselves.
When they get to the Gallagher front porch (Mickey prefers to drop Ian off first before heading home), they both stop, and stand there slightly awkwardly for a moment. It’s hard saying goodbye when you can’t openly actually hug or kiss the other person, and they haven’t quite figured out their routine yet.
“Well… I better head home” Mickey finally says, extending his slightly dirty fingers out to brush against Ian’s as he does. Ian smiles, fucking wishing he could kiss the boy in front of him, “See you”.
He heads inside, and joins Fiona at the table, where she is counting out some bills and loose change. She immediately looks up at him in concern, “Hey Ian, did you get your paycheck yet this week? I’m short for hydro again, something’s not adding up”.
Ian shakes his head, grabbing an apple from the bowlful resting on the kitchen table, “I didn’t put my share in yet. Kash docked me for being late last week, I’ll have the rest soon”.
Fiona raises her eyebrow at him, “Why were you late?”
Ian thinks for a moment, what the fuck would Fiona even say if he just flat out told her, “Yeah I was late because I was kissing fucking Mickey Milkovich in an abandoned building, as he admitted that he has feelings for me and wants to be with me.”
Fiona pushes him in his silence, “Were you off with some girl? Jesus, don’t be like Lip, Ian. He’s gonna fuck himself over if he keeps thinking with his second head and not the one on his shoulders, and you will too”. Ian shrugs without answering her actual statement and just says, “I’ll have it. Don’t worry”.
Lip comes into the house just then, momentarily distracting Ian at least, because he’s actually supposed to be at some girl’s house, but he just mouths as he passes by, ‘Her mom was home’. He heads upstairs, and Ian turns his attention back towards his older sister.
Fiona nods at him, trusting him to pull through like he usually does, and turns her head to holler throughout the house, “Dinner’s early tonight kids! I’m doing tables at 5!”
“What’s for dinner?” Ian asks, as Fiona starts rummaging through the cupboards. “Ramen” she answers, slapping several packages of it onto the counter. “Oh, healthy”, Ian teases. She hits the kettle, “I’ll put frozen peas in it. There’s your fuckin healthy”.
Ian laughs and feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulls it out to read the text from Mickey on the screen, “Hey, dad’s going out tn. Got the place to myself :) Come over?”
His gut tenses slightly, and he types back after a moment, “Yeah… just gonna eat dinner. Be there in an hour”. Then as an afterthought he adds, “:)”
This is happening. This is happening soon. “I’m gonna go have a shower” he mutters to Fiona, who, without looking up, answers with, “Alright, yours will be in the microwave”. He passes Lip on the stairs as he is coming back down and grabs his shoulder to get his attention, “You’re watching the kids while Fiona’s at work”. Lip raises his eyebrow, “You goin to see a girl?” Ian rolls his eyes, “Just fucking do it”. Lip winks at him knowingly and they both continue going in opposite directions on the stairs.
Ian closes the bathroom door behind himself and quickly strips his clothes off, cranking the shower dial on, he waits for about a minute for the water to warm up, before stepping into the stream.
The water rains down soothingly on his skin, as he scrubs himself clean. He stands in there a little longer than is necessary, once the soap is rinsed off.
You’re fine, he tells himself, don’t be nervous.
Beyond that, he tries ignore any other invading thoughts in his mind.
He gets out of the shower, and wraps a towel around himself as he goes to stand in front of the sink. He leans against it, looking at his reflection in the mirror uncertainly. He grabs a comb that’s resting on the ledge and runs it through his red hair, trying to get it to lie in a more attractive way. Okay, that’s good enough, he hopes. He finishes drying himself off, and rolls on some deodorant before getting dressed again.
He runs downstairs to eat quickly so he’ll be there on time. He’s glad now that dinner is light, he thinks, as he slurps up the ramen, sitting beside Carl who is doing the same. His nervous stomach doesn’t want anything more than that right now. He carries his empty bowl over to the sink and leaves it there.
“Alright, I’m heading out” he tells Lip, who’s hovering over Liam while he eats.
“Alright, good luck. See ya later” Lip says, without taking his eyes off his little brother. Ian nods anyways, and grabs his coat and gloves before heading outside.