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Step, Step, Kiss

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Mi Sun sat outside the bathroom, watching the door intently. Hobi had been in there longer than normal and it made her uneasy. She’d already tried opening the door, but it was locked and calling to him hadn’t done anything. She was chewing her lip and bouncing her leg when she caught movement from the corner of her eye—someone was coming down the hall. Sun stood up and stepped closer to them, absently playing with the hem of her shirt.

Noticing her, Jin paused and asked “Sun? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but I’m worried about Hobi. He’s been in the bathroom too long.”

“Go find Yoongi. I’ll try to get him out.”

She searched the rooms, running into Namjoon, Tae, Jungkook, Jimin, and finally Yoongi. He looked up from his paper and saw Sun more anxious than usual. “What’s wrong?”

“Hobi. He’s been in the bathroom too long and I have a bad feeling…” Sun replied.

“Shit.” Yoongi said as he stood. His normally impassive face showed just a hint of concern.

“What? What is it?”

“Bad feeling…” He mumbled, going quickly to the door. Sun cursed and followed, needing to push through the rest of the guys, who had gathered in the main room apprehensively. When she got to the bathroom she saw the door open—and Jin standing in front of the mirror.

“Where’s Hobi?”

“He left. No one could stop him… And when I came in here I saw this in the sink.” It was an empty bottle of pills.

Sun squeezed her eyes shut and huffed out a breath, hands balling up at her sides. Jin was about to set a hand on her shoulder when she took a step towards the door. “I’m going to go after him. I don’t want him being alone if something happens. Have the others go looking, too; we can cover more ground.”

“Just go, I’ll sort everything else out.” Jin said.

Sun nodded her thanks, then left the dorm to start searching for Hobi. Where would he go? Then she remembered he was rather fond of Dongho bridge not too far from the dorms—that was the most likely option in her mind. So she set off towards Dongho bridge and tried to stay calm, combing the streets on her way. When she got to a vantage point, Sun saw Hobi crossing the bridge so she sent a quick text to everyone else letting them know she found him. She then made her way down to the bridge.

Once at the beginning of the bridge, Sun saw Hobi collapse about halfway across. She involuntarily let out a scream and sprinted to where he was. Once near him, she dropped to her knees and started checking him over.

“Why did you take the pills, dammit? That isn’t like you.”

“I-I thought…” Hobi said hoarsely.

“You obviously thought wrong. You need help. Now put your arm around my shoulder.” Sun said sternly.

He moved to do what she said, but his arm lifted only slightly before dropping back to the pavement.

“Hobi?” Sun asked, suddenly hit by full panic. She shook his shoulder to get any kind of response as tears sprang to her eyes. “Hobi?” She tried again, voice edging higher. Finally, she took hold of his arm and bent so she could sling it over her shoulder before standing up—hauling him with her. She then set off towards the end of Dongho bridge again; matching stride with Hobi so as not to jostle him too much.
Even with nearly his full weight leaning on her, Sun kept going. Thankfully she saw all the other guys waiting at the end of the bridge and once there, Jungkook picked Hobi up to get him to a car to get him to the hospital. Jin went with to drive while Jimin joined. The rest went into a second car with Yoongi driving.

At the hospital Hobi was admitted right away, leaving everyone else to anxiously sit in the waiting room. Yoongi sat and zoned, Tae sat and bounced his leg while Jungkook sat right next to him, biting his nails. Jin paced around the waiting room. Joon stood at the nurse’s station, hoping to get any news he could. Jimin sat, spacing, but flinched at any sound. Sun, much the same as Yoongi, perched on a chair and absently played with her fingers.
When a doctor came out calling for Hoseok, everyone stood or stopped what they were doing, but Jin was the one who went to speak for them all. When Jin turned back, everyone looked at him expectantly.

“He’s fine now, just a little weak. We’ll be able to visit soon, but we’ll need to go to the psych ward… And not all at once. We don’t want to overwhelm him.” As the others started to plan how to split for visiting, Jin went over to Sun and set a hand on her arm. “I thought you would want to visit by yourself. You can go in first.”

“Thanks, Jin… I can go last, though. I’m going to stay with him.”

By the time she got to the room, after finally getting the staff to let her stay, Hobi had fallen asleep. She adjusted the blanket over him and pushed some black hair from his face before pulling a chair up to the bedside and sitting
down. It was weird seeing him hooked up to all those machines… Feeling tired herself, Sun rested her head on the bed, near Hobi’s hand, and started drifting off. But as she did, a forgotten memory surfaced back to the front of her mind.

***

Sun stood in her kindergarten classroom, watching her younger self playing with her favorite toys. A little Hobi then came up and plopped next to her. “Can I play, too?”

“Aren’t there others to play with?”

“They aren’t as fun as you. My eomma says we used to play together even before this, so why not now?” He asked, flashing a bright smile.

“Okay.” Sun relented, handing a toy to Hobi.

They played for a while before some other boys in the class came over. “Playing with a girl, Hobi?”

Hobi shied closer to Sun, who snapped her attention to the other boys. “Go away and quit picking on him, meanies.”

“Why? He won’t do anything about it. He’s a crybaby and a chicken.” One of the boys said, looming over both of them.

Sun then impulsively stood and punched the boy, knocking him onto the ground, before calmly going back to playing with Hobi.
The boy started crying and ran off to find the teacher as everything seemed fuzzier.

***

Hobi woke up to see Sun in a chair pulled up to the bedside, folded nearly in half so her head was lying on the bed. She was fast asleep. He smiled softly and reached out to stroke her dark hair splayed over the hospital blanket; she’d stayed with him even though he left without a word earlier.

Feeling something in her hair, Sun stirred and saw Hobi awake, too. The sleepy look quickly melted to joy as she sat up. “Hobi~ Are you feeling better?”

“I am now.”

Her smile then disappeared as she reached out to smack his arm. “That’s for doing it in the first place. You had us all worried sick.”

Hobi was about to respond when Jin poked his head into the room. “Annyeonghaseyo. Is everything okay in here? I have some others who’d like to see you again.”

Sun scooted her chair back from the edge of the bed and absently brought a hand up to check her hair.

Coming into the room, Jin held up a neatly wrapped parcel. “Sun, I brought this for you. I figured you’d want some fresh clothes, so I went up to your dorm before coming here. And I brought food, too, since I figured you wouldn’t eat anything here.” He said.

At the mention of food, Sun’s stomach growled. “Thank you, Jin. I thought I’d have to go home to freshen up and I still don’t want to leave.” She got up and pulled out the fresh clothes before leaving to change. When she got back to the room, everyone was there, sitting anywhere they could including extra chairs pulled in.

The only free space was on a small couch—between Joon and Jimin—so Sun grabbed her food and went over to where they were, plopping between them. She then playfully threw her shoulder against Jimin and muttered “Scoot,
Jiminie.”

He chuckled and gave her some more room, but nonetheless complained. “Why not make Joon move?”

“Simple. You’re smaller.” Sun replied, taking a bite of food.

Jimin puffed out his chest and flexed. “Who are you calling small?”

“I mean, compared to the others…”

He pouted and gave up as Sun continued eating.

Being rather close to the bed, Hobi could see what she was eating and whined “Share with your brother?”

“Aniyo. You aren’t allowed to have stuff like this yet.” Sun teased, making her next bite overly dramatic.

“Have some mercy, Noona Sunie.” Jimin chimed in, leaning into her slightly.

“I’m not being harsh; the staff told me he isn’t allowed to eat too much yet. His stomach could still be touchy.” She said, giving Hobi a half glare. Because his stomach had been pumped, the doctors were going to slowly get him eating again.

Just after the subject was changed, a nurse came into the room, causing everyone to fall silent. “Hoseok. A doctor would like you to talk with a counselor.”

Sun paused, chopsticks halfway to her mouth, and looked at Hobi, wordlessly asking if he wanted anyone to go with.

“Stay and eat, Sunie. I’ll be fine going on my own.” Hobi said, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He then tried lightening the mood by joking “Unless you can’t handle being left alone with them at all. Just don’t try killing any of them while I’m gone.”

Sun cracked a small smile. “I’ll try. We’ll all be here when you get back.”

The nurse had left to get a wheelchair for Hobi and helped him into it once he was done talking, then wheeled him out for the appointment.

In the following silence, Tae suddenly blurted “I’ve never been in a psych ward before.”

Yoongi promptly cuffed the back of Tae’s head. “Sometimes I think you should be in one.”

“Sorry…” Tae said softly, going back to looking at his hands in his lap.

A rather sad attempt at conversation then flowed between everyone; no real substance to any of the topics and plenty of silence between.
After two hours, Hobi was wheeled back into the room and helped onto the bed. When the nurse left, he stayed quiet but caught Sun’s eyes.

Jin caught the look and stood. “Why don’t we get some food ourselves? I obviously only brought enough for Sun and she ate it all.” He then ushered everyone out to leave Sun and Hobi to talk.

Sun came and perched on the side of the bed, taking one of his hands. “How did it go, Hobi?”

“It was weird… having to talk to someone like that. But after looking at my medical history and having me answer some questions… they said I have bipolar disorder. That’s one of the things that pushed me to do what I did.”
Sun knew about the history of bipolar in Hobi’s family, his mom having a sibling diagnoses and his dad with one that was theorized to have it. And bipolar was genetic.

“Oh, Hobi… It’ll be fine. You can get through this. You’re a strong guy, I know it.” She said softly, petting him with her free hand.

He leaned into the touch, pillowing his head on her shoulder, and hummed. He always confided in Sun; she was his best friend.

Breaking the silence, Sun spoke again. “I know you won’t like it, but you should really tell the others about this, Hobi. They deserve to know, too.”

Chapter Text

“Aish, Sun. I don’t want to.” Hobi whined.

“I promise they won’t think any less of you. They’re like family to you too, and they’re worried. You’re in a hospital for heaven’s sake.”

“But I’ll need to take medication now and they might think I’m…”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence with ‘weak’, Jung Hoseok.” Sun cut in. “You are strong beyond belief for dealing with this for how long. The medication won’t make you weak. It will just help you be able to control it better so you don’t feel as bad again.”

“How do you know?” Hobi asked softly, looking up at her from his place on her shoulder.

Still carding through his hair, Sun casually responded “Because I take medication for anxiety, Hobi.”

He sat up upon hearing that and watched her intently. “How long have you been taking medication for it?”

“Three and a half years now.” She answered, running a finger along the seam of her jeans.

“Why am I only hearing of this now?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. You already had enough to deal with since you were a trainee.”

“Sun.” Hobi said seriously. When she didn’t look up at him, he reached out to lift her chin. “Mi Sun, you know I care about you, so I expect that you’ll tell me stuff like this in the future. I thought we made that pact to never keep secrets from each other?”

A smile tugged at Sun’s lips. “We were kids when we made that.”

“I don’t care. Let’s stick to it fully this time, okay? You should have just told me about your anxiety.”

“I know I should have. Sorry, Hobi.” Sun said, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Yah, you don’t have to apologize. I know now. And I promise to tell the others soon, just not right now. I... I still want to come to terms with it myself.”

“Just don’t wait too long.”

***

Hoseok got to practice later than usual, the door of their practice room banging shut as he ran in and tossed down his gym bag. The rest of NEURON stopped and looked at him—either from stretching, staring at their phones and chatting, or actually practicing— with the unspoken question of why he was late hanging in the air.

“Sorry guys. I had a meeting and it ran later than I thought.” Hobi explained. Without thinking, his eyes sought out Sun.

She looked unimpressed, not meeting his gaze, as one of the other members dug for details. “Oooh, what kind of meeting? It had to be pretty important to keep you from practice.”

“I guess I may as well make the announcement now.” Hobi started, getting everyone to look at him intently, even Sun. “I’m going to become a trainee at an entertainment company!”

“A trainee to become an idol? Which company did you choose?”

“JYP.”

Everyone broke out into wide grins and started congratulating him, although Sun’s attempts were halfhearted. She was happy for him, of course, but she never considered Hobi anything like an idol.

Although he had wanted to be a singer for the longest time. But they both had settled into a commonplace routine of school, jobs, and any remaining free time to dancing. Now he would be leaving her for new friends and bandmates and possibly a new image—not that she was bitter about that. Or at least she’d never admit it.

The crew saw less of Hobi in the following 2 weeks, but one of the days he came back, he looked dejected. “I didn’t make the cut for JYP. Guess I wasn’t idol material.” He said.

When they left together, Sun set a hand on his arm. “Hobi if you really want to be an idol, find a different entertainment company. You have talent and someone will want you; you just need a company that has the brains to see it. Now I hate to say this since it means you’ll abandon us here, but get your ass back out there an audition more.”

Hobi grinned and hugged her, lifting her feet off the ground. “I take that as you supporting me in this decision. I’ll do it!”

A month later, Hoseok was on his way to Seoul to audition at other entertainment companies. When he got back, he nearly bowled Sun over in an enthusiastic hug, smile plastered on his face.

“What’s this about, you tree.” Sun complained as she was squished against Hobi’s much taller frame. She kind of missed when they used to be the same size.

“I think I found the right entertainment company, Sunie! BigHit Entertainment. They’re still small, so I have a good chance.” He responded.

***

After a while of sitting with her head on his shoulder, Sun sat up. “If you’re okay, I think I’ll go out and tell the others they can come back in. We don’t want them worrying too much.”

Hobi smiled softly and nodded, having seen the worried looks pass over the members’ faces as they had left the room.

Sun patted his hand before sliding off the bed and leaving to room to find the rest of Bangtan. Joon and Jin were halfway down the deserted hall, standing close by each other. As she got closer, she saw their pinkies linked; it was the most discreet form of affection the couple could risk in a public place. “Eomma and Appa, you can go back into the room now.”

“He’s okay now… with whatever you had to talk about?” Jin asked, doe eyes searching her face. He was the eldest member after all and affectionately called “eomma”.

“He’s fine now. We talked it all out. Did you guys get something to eat?”

“We weren’t really hungry.” Joon answered. “Besides, we ate a little something before coming here this morning.”

Sun simply nodded and went to find the other members; she wasn’t going to force them to eat. Just at the end of the hall in the waiting room for this part of the hospital were the maknaes. Jungkook was playing a game on his phone while Jimin watched and Tae, ever the competitive one, repeated how he could do better.

“Boys, you can go back into the room and see Hobi hyung now if you want. I’m sure he’d love to see your bright smiles.” Sun said, smiling herself in the hopes it would motivate them.

She was met with three variations of smiles in return; Tae’s box grin, Jungkook’s bunny smile, and Jimin’s eye smile. It was a wonderful sight to see after the mood had been so dreary.

“Good. I want to go show off my high score to him anyway.” Jungkook said, jumping to his feet. Tae quickly followed suit while playfully arguing.

Jimin stood and hesitated near Sun before saying “Yoongi hyung went off by himself. Do you want me to help find him?”

“Just go back to the room, Jiminie. Make sure everyone else is there for me and I’ll go find Yoongi.” Sun responded.

Jimin smiled again before heading off, leaving Sun to find the other rain cloud of Bangtan. Honestly, Sun and Yoongi were quite similar in personality so she had her inklings about where he might be—somewhere isolated where he could be alone with his thoughts.

She found him in a small alcove near a window, head bowed almost as if he were praying. Stepping closer, Sun softly called “Yoongi?”

He looked up and she swore she saw the faintest hint of tears sparkling in his dark eyes before they vanished. “Yeah?”

“Coming back to the room? Everyone else is already there.”

He stood and closed the distance between them. “He’s alright now?”

“Yes, Yoongi Oppa, he’s fine.” She said with a small, encouraging smile. She then turned so they were facing the same direction and lightly touched his elbow. “Let’s go join everyone before they get to wondering.”

Yoongi then set off for the room again with Sun following. Once closer to the room they could already hear everyone inside cracking jokes and laughing. It was a good sound to come back to, or at least better than crying. Stepping inside, Sun was overjoyed to see Hobi’s heart shaped smile out in full force. More than that, she saw that it brightened ever so slightly once Yoongi was back in the room and Yoongi’s gummy smile flashed in return.

Chapter Text

A few days later, Hobi caught Sun’s eyes again while they were both in the room. “I think I’m ready to tell them, Sunie.”

Sun turned from the window where she’d been watching people pass on the street below. “You think?”

“You said I shouldn’t wait too long. I may as well get it over with now.”

“I think that’s smart. Once they get back from lunch, it’d be the perfect chance. I’ll be right by your side.” She said, offering a smile.

“Sit by me?” He asked, pouting slightly.

Saying nothing, Sun just went over and climbed onto the bed next to him. It was a familiar enough position for her by now; it happened at least once every day. She’d elected to stay with him while he was in the hospital. It put everyone; including herself, Hobi’s parents, and the rest of Bangtan, at ease knowing someone was staying with him at all times.

Hobi smiled and timing seemed to be on their side; the rest of Bangtan came back into the room, chattering loudly amongst themselves as usual. They found their usual seating before realizing Hobi and
Sun hadn’t joined in. They all stopped and looked at the pair while Jin actually spoke up.

“Is something wrong? You’re… quieter than usual.” He asked.

Hobi took a breath before explaining. “Not that long after I was admitted here, I was given a diagnosis that explains my behavior before… I have… I have bipolar disorder. I’m going to be put on medication to help, so I should be fine once I’m released.”

“Oh, Hobi, why didn’t you tell us sooner? Was it because you thought we’d judge you for it? We would never do that. We love you, Hoseok.” Jin said earnestly. He softened as he looked at Hobi and Joon clasped his hand to keep him from standing up again.

“Mental illness isn’t weakness, Hobi. It’s just a chemical imbalance in the brain. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a person. Plenty of people deal with stuff like this.” Joon said, trying to placate both Jin and Hobi, who wasn’t meeting anyone’s eyes.

Jimin teared up at the news, prompting Tae to start rubbing his shoulder in an effort to calm him. Tae, however, didn’t understand exactly what had made Jimin tear up, so he innocently asked “What do you mean you have bipolar disorder?”

Jungkook nodded his assent. “Could you explain a little more, hyung?”

The two youngest members were looking at Hobi, assuming they’d get and answer from him. Tae absently glanced at Joon, the genius, to see if he might explain in Hobi’s place. But instead, it was Yoongi that spoke up, causing everyone to look at him—including Hobi.

“Bipolar disorder is also called manic depressive disorder. You’re aware of what depression is, so you know half of what bipolar is. The other half is the ‘mania’ or essentially being hyper energized.” He explained, monotonous as ever. He then continued, looking directly at Hobi as he did. “We’ll support you no matter what, mental illness or not. You’re still the same Hobi that we all care about.”
Sun thought she saw a dusting of blush across Hobi’s cheeks and when she glanced at Yoongi, she could see why. The elder’s dark eyes had softened while looking at Hobi in a rather uncharacteristic display of affection.

Everyone added their agreement and in the ensuing silence, Yoongi added “I knew you were always delicate, Hobi. This just proves it again.”

“See?” Sun asked, gently pushing Hobi’s shoulder. “That means you guys have to keep watch over him more than usual. Take care of our delicate flower.” She teased.

Hobi gently shoved her shoulder in return, huffing out a breath. “Quit it. I’m not that delicate.”

Tae, meanwhile, was still staring rather blankly. “I don’t get it. How is this going to be different than how Hobi hyung acted before?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook piped up, “Hobi hyung had those points of…mania… before he got the diagnosis.” He’d paused slightly to find the right word, wanting to use the fancy term Yoongi had used before.

Joon sighed from his place. “He was acting like that because of the bipolar, you two, we just had no idea it was there under the surface. The medication will help bring down the ‘highs’ and bring up the ‘lows’.”

“He’ll be the same Hobi, you dweebs. Accept that.” Yoongi muttered, half glaring at the two young ones.

The next day, around lunch, Bangtan decided to eat with Hobi in his room. Jin had come that morning as usual to give Sun fresh clothes, and other than her time to freshen up and change she hadn’t been out of the room. That simple fact meant that her lack of presence in the room was quite noticeable.

“Hobi hyung, where’s Sun noona?” Jungkook asked innocently, stabbing his chopsticks into his takeout. It had taken some sweet-talking, but the staff let them all bring outside food into the room so they could all eat together.

Hobi looked up from the tray of food in front of him, almost as if noticing she was missing for the first time. “…I’m not sure, Kookie. She said she was going to the cafeteria to get some food a while ago.”

Jin perked up from the larger takeout dish he was sharing with Joon. “I don’t think it would take this long to get food. She did say she’d be joining us, right?”

Hobi nodded, still looking slightly absent. “Yeah, she did…”

Jin then took command. “Jimin, why don’t you be a dear and go and find her?”

Jimin, the tears now gone, straightened in his seat. “Why me?”

Joon gave him a look that said everything—and it was only half because his mouth was indelicately stuffed with food. Everyone in Bangtan knew that Jimin had a crush on Sun by now, even Hobi, who he’d originally tried keeping it from the most. Especially Hobi. Once Hoseok had actually found out (quite easily, since Jimin wasn’t exactly super subtle) he basically became their biggest fanboy. He would tease Jimin all the time about crushing on Sun, but as much as he teased, he also tried getting them together. He was a supportive brother, after all.

“Come on, Jiminie. Take the opportunity. You know you like her, so why are you objecting?” Hobi said, smirking slightly.

Muttering to himself, Jimin set down his food and stood up. “Don’t eat my stuff while I’m gone. And that means you specifically, Tae.” He said from the doorway, jabbing a finger at his friend. He then left the room, still muttering under his breath, as he tried to think of where Sun could be.

The natural place to start was the cafeteria, so he made his way down there. But once he was in the bleak, windowless room, she was nowhere to be found. He didn’t want to admit it, but he would have been able to pick Sun out of a crowd no problem… Her short stature was a bonus, but not the only reason. That turned the quick pick-up mission into a solo search party. Jimin had no idea where she would be, so he just started wandering the halls hoping that something would come to him. He checked the main lobby of the hospital, nothing. He checked the rec center and a couple guest rooms, nothing. Just as he was starting to get a little frustrated, pushing his hair back out of his eyes in a one handed swoop, he noticed a door that led out to a fenced in outdoor area—“guest patio” was written above it in bold strokes of black.

It was worth a shot, so he pushed through the door onto a patio half shaded by awnings overhead. Plants were everywhere; flowers of all kinds and colors to try and brighten the place up and giving it quite a strong fragrance. He was starting to think it was empty until he caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning to get a better look, he saw Sun tucked into a corner underneath the awning, seeming smaller than usual since she was curled in on herself.

“Sun noona?” He asked, stepping out of the sun and under the awning. Once out of the bright light, he saw that her eyes were closed. “Sun noona?” He tried again, moving closer.

“What is it, Jiminie?” Sun asked in return, not moving at all. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was Jimin.

Jimin frowned. “We were wondering where you were. Hobi hyung said you went to the cafeteria to get food while the rest of us got takeout, but you didn’t come back for a while.”

“Yah. I just ate in the cafeteria so I wouldn’t have to take the tray back down. Then I came out here to get some fresh air. Go back and tell them not to worry.”

Something in him doubted the validity of what she said, but he didn’t want to straight up accuse her of lying. “You were supposed to eat lunch with us…” He whined. He hadn’t meant for it to come out as a whine, but that gut feeling that she was keeping something from him combined with his nerves weren’t doing anything to help with his confidence.

“Yah, Jiminie… I didn’t know that was a binding contract.” Sun snarked, sounding exasperated. She then softened, uncharacteristically and quickly. “When I got down to the cafeteria, I couldn’t get myself to go back up to the room. Seeing Hobi in a hospital with all those wires and machines is too much. I know he’ll be fine, but it hit me that I really could have lost him that day…” She then trailed off and let out a soft sob, curling in on herself even more.

Jimin stood rooted in place, not knowing what to do at first. He’d never seen Sun like this before. She was normally like Yoongi—someone who didn’t show much emotion outwardly and definitely didn’t cry if they could help it. But the full realization of Sun having a breakdown in front of him pushed his awkwardness around her to the back of everything; his immediate goal was to comfort her.

He crossed the rest of the distance between them and plopped onto the bench she was sitting on, flush against her side, before wrapping his arms around her. “Shhh… What do you mean you could have lost him? Hobi hyung is fine. He should be released soon.”

“If he hadn’t been found as soon as he was that day, who knows if he’d even be here. The doctors told me we got him here just in time. What if we had been only a little later?” She asked, voice nearing a wail as she spoke through her tears. She then glanced up at Jimin, eyes rimmed red with tears still streaming down her cheeks; she looked so vulnerable.

Jimin gave her a gentle squeeze, hoping it was reassuring, before bringing a hand up to wipe away her tears. “Don’t focus on the what-could-have-been, noona. You got to him in time and he’s fine now. Why are you thinking of this all of a sudden?”

Sun was silent for a few minutes, leaning into Jimin ever so slightly. She then took a breath and answered “I also realized today that I haven’t been taking my anxiety medication. I got so caught up in making sure Hobi was okay that I never even though to have it with me while I stayed here…”

“You have anxiety medication?” Jimin blinked. She didn’t seem like an anxious person at all.

“Yes, Jiminie. I take meds for anxiety and without them to help me control it, anxiety got the better of me.” Sun responded, scooting away Jimin’s hand to rub away her own tears. She was already composing herself again.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Only Hobi. I’ve never needed to tell anyone else.” Sun said quietly. A silence then fell between them and Jimin started feeling awkward again.

Rubbing her back slightly, he asked “Did you actually get food before coming out here? Because I still have mine up in the room and I’m hungry.”

Sun cracked a smile. “You mean to say that you left your food alone with Tae and Kookie?”

Jimin let out a breathy laugh, glad to see his attempt at lightening the mood worked. “I warned Tae before I left not to touch it, but I completely forgot about Kookie’s appetite. I would hope one of the hyungs would stop them if they tried anything, though.”

“How much do you want to bet that it’s at least partially gone once we get back in the room?” Sun asked, challenging.

“I don’t want to take that bet. But did you eat something, noona? You never answered me.”

“Yes, Jimin. I ate something earlier.”

“Good, but if you’re still hungry, I might share with you.” He said with a smile.

Chapter Text

Early 2013

Sun straightened in her seat as the train pulled into the station and stretched after sitting still for so long. The ride from Gwangju was nearly two hours and she certainly felt it. She paused her music and pulled her headphones down around her neck before stiffly standing. She collected her bag and shuffled out of the train onto the platform, looking for Hobi. He said he’d meet her at the station to take her to BigHit, but she didn’t see him.

Pulling her phone from the pocket of her leather jacket, Sun was about to text him when she was hugged from behind. She flinched, which earned a laugh from the person behind her; a familiar laugh.

“What, not happy to see your brother, Sunie?”

“God, Hobi, don’t scare me like that. I didn’t know that was you. You’re lucky I didn’t elbow you.” Sun growled.

Hobi laughed again, low and throaty with amusement, and let go of her so she could turn around. “How about a proper hug, then? Will that make up for it?”

She pouted slightly before giving in and wrapping her arms around him. “Fine, you tree. But only because it’s you, Hobi. I can’t stay mad at you for long.”

Hobi grinned and hugged her back, smushing her face against his chest. When he let her go, he asked “Ready to go meet everyone?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Sun answered, looking up at him. He’d grown a lot since they were younger and she still wasn’t fond of being dwarfed by him.

“Don’t sell them short yet, Sunie, they’re good guys. Now let’s go.” He said, holding out his hand for her. They didn’t want to lose each other in the Seoul crowds; it was bigger than back home, after all.

Sun slipped her hand into his and followed as he weaved through the crowd. They took a couple of buses across the city before they got off near BigHit Entertainment. “So this has been home for you while training?” she asked, staring up at the building. It wasn’t too big, but she liked it; it didn’t come off as too pretentious like she expected entertainment companies to be.

“Yup. It’s really not bad. They’ve been good to me. Now let’s go meet the guys.” Hobi said, pulling her inside.

He dropped her hand just outside of what must be their practice room, based on the racket coming from inside. Sun rubbed her palms against the thighs of her jeans before nodding. She was ready.

Hobi then opened the door and called out “Guys, she’s here!”

Sun followed him in and was met with five other pairs of eyes making their way to her. Since she taught choreography classes for fun back home in Gwangju, multiple pairs of eyes on her wasn’t normally something that affected her, but something about these did. After a slightly awkward silence where no one said anything, Sun gave a small wave. “I-I’m Mi Sun…”

A tall boy with a mop of curly hair on top of his head, notches in his eyebrow, and sunglasses inside came up to her first. “Annyeonghaseyo Sun. I’m Kim Namjoon; same age as Hoseok.”

“He’s the leader… even though he’s my dongsaeng.” Hobi supplied, leaning close to her.

Namjoon heard Hobi’s stage whisper and said “By months, hyung. I’m younger by seven months.”

Another boy stepped up to cut off any continuation of that topic. He was about the same height as Namjoon with straight brown hair and kind eyes. “I’m Kim Seokjin, but you can just call me Jin. Nice to meet you, Sun.” He said with a pleasant smile, bowing slightly.

“He’s two years older than us.” Hobi told her.

“Nice to meet you, Jin Oppa. Hoseok mentioned your cooking a few times when calling home.” Sun said, returning the bow.

The third member needed to be dragged over. He was shorter than Hobi and the other two, with a beanie pulled over his head and a rather unfriendly looking expression on his face. He stood in front of her, appraising her quite obviously, before Jin elbowed him. “Min Yoongi.” He grated out, voice low.

“A year older than us,” Hobi said, “And more friendly than he lets on.”

A taller boy with lighter brown hair pushed in front of Yoongi and came right up to her, a boxy smile in place already. “I’m Kim Taehyung, but my stage name is V, like for victory!” He then did a peace sign
and held it up to one of his cheeks. The boy seemed more hyperactive than Hobi could be, and that was saying something.

“He’s basically an excitable puppy; he’s harmless. Also a year younger than us.” Hobi said.

Sun turned to him, a bit surprised. “With a voice that deep?”

Hobi nodded. “He’s been training with us, but hasn’t been officially announced yet.”

Another boy appeared from behind Taehyung. This one was about the same height as Yoongi, but he came off much friendlier. He had slightly chubby cheeks that Sun immediately found quite adorable and expressive eyes.

“I’m Park Jimin.” The boy offered, smiling big enough to make his eyes turn to crescents. His voice was airy and unique, coming from an obviously well-toned body.

“It’s nice to meet you all… Wait. You said six, Hoseok. Not counting you, I’ve only met five.” Sun said, brows knitting together slightly.

Hobi, Namjoon, and Jin sighed in unison. Jin then pulled a boy out from behind him—Sun swore he hadn’t been there before—and placed him in front of Sun. The boy was obviously quite young just from his face. He stood there awkwardly and didn’t meet Sun’s eyes at all. A prod from Jin got him to speak softly “J-Jeon Jungkook…”

“He’s a shy little thing, especially around girls.” Jin offered. “He’s only 15.”

Jungkook colored slightly and glanced up at Sun for the first time, offering a slight smile that showed off front teeth slightly bigger than the rest, before dropping his gaze again.

Sun couldn’t help herself and blurted “Bunny!” The maknae’s smile had been so cute and reminded her of a little rabbit. The outburst got Jungkook to flinch slightly and scurry back behind Jin. “Sorry…” she apologized, before chewing her lip.

“It’s fine. You did nothing wrong.” Jin reassured.

“So, Hoseok told us that he was a dancer back in Gwangju, does that mean you are, too?” Namjoon asked, attempting to steer the conversation in a new direction.

“Yeah. We were a part of the same crew. I still dance there, though, and teach a couple choreography classes.” Sun answered.

Just then, someone came in to tell them the practice room they were using was needed by another group. Not wanting to go back to their dorm, Namjoon spoke up. “Why don’t we move to the other practice room? It’s in the basement of a restaurant, but it’ll give us space to continue talking.”

So they left as a group, minimal chatter flowing between them as they walked to the restaurant that housed the other practice room.

Once in the basement room, Sun jumped right back into conversation, asking “So, Taehyung mentioned a stage name… Do all of you have stage names?”

“Yeah, we do.” Jin answered. “You know V already. Jungkook and Jimin just go by their actual names and I go by Jin. But that’s about where the ‘normal’ names end. Hoseok goes by J Hope.”

Sun cracked a smile at that, looking at Hobi. “J Hope?”

“Band PD-nim said I’m the hope of the group, since I come across so happy. But I like the connection to Pandora’s Box.”

“Because when it was opened, hope was the only thing left.” Sun and Namjoon chorused.

Sun then turned to Namjoon. “Well, smart one, what’s your stage name?”

“Rap Monster.” Namjoon answered, only slightly more sheepish than he had been before. “I was an underground rapper before this, so the name seemed fitting, being a rapper for the group and all.”

Sun nodded, seeing the connection, and made a mental note to reappraise the name once she actually heard him rap. She turned her attention, finally, to Yoongi, who had shifted back to lean against a wall.

He didn’t seem likely to give his stage name himself, so Jin jumped in again. “And Yoongi goes by Suga.”

Sun actually snorted upon hearing that. “Suga? You hardly seem sweet enough for that. Coffee seems more fitting: dark and bitter.” She said sarcastically.

Yoongi glowered at her, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “You’re related to her, Hoseok?”

Hobi grinned and threw an arm around Sun’s shoulder, pulling her closer. “Oh, I wish I actually was. Instead, she’s the second sister I always wanted!”

Sun huffed out a breath and elbowed him. “Stop with that already.”

Yoongi pushed off the wall, quite obviously tense, and stepped closer. “Careful with him. He’s delicate.”

Sun levelled an unamused look his way. “Back off, Suga, I know he is. I’ve patched him up more than a few times. A little elbow to the ribs isn’t going to damage anything; I’ve done it before.”

Seeing he was matched with a personality similar to his own, and that Hobi was actually fine, Yoongi softened ever so slightly towards Sun. But not enough to have his demeanor change.

“So you said you and Hoseok used to dance together. Can we get a demonstration?” Namjoon asked. Everyone had seen Hobi dance by then and he was good.

“What do you say, Sunie, should we show off a bit?” Hobi questioned.

“If we’re going to show off, let’s do it right. How about that performance that won us an award?”

Without a word, Hobi went to the center of the practice room, putting some space between himself and the other members, with a wide grin settled onto his face. Sun followed and got into position next to him. As soon as the music started, they both went into ‘dance mode’; looking intensely focused. Being a routine from NEURON, it involved quite a lot of popping and other street dancing techniques. They had obviously danced countless hours together based on how fluidly they worked together, at times mirroring each other perfectly and other times complimenting each other.

Jimin, meanwhile, couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Sun as she moved. Then again, he’d been watching her before she started dancing, too.

Tae noticed and draped an arm around his shoulders. “You know, it may go better with her if you don’t creep from afar.”

“I-I’m not creeping on her… You know I like dancing and she’s really good.” Jimin said color creeping to his cheeks.

“Sure you aren’t. Better get your last looks in now; you’re probably not going to see her again.” Tae said into his ear.

Chapter Text

“Let’s go back to the room now, noona, so they can’t worry anymore.” Jimin said softly, almost reluctantly removing his arm from around Sun.

Sun nodded and wiped at her cheeks again, wanting to remove any traces of crying before getting around everyone else. She then stood up and went towards the door back into the hospital, leaving Jimin to follow. When he easily caught up in the hallway, Sun asked “You’re not going to mention this to the rest, are you?”

“Not if you don’t want me to.” He responded. “But I think they should know about this, Sun.”

“I told Hobi already. I don’t think everyone else needs to know. The medication helps just fine.” Sun said, brushing off the concern.

Jimin didn’t push it any further as they got closer to the room. Once they were just outside of Hobi’s room, though, a nurse stopped them and asked to speak with Sun privately. Jimin lingered by her side in case she wanted another person around.

Sun looked at the younger and said “Go on ahead, Jiminie. I’ll be right there.”

Jimin listened and went on ahead to the room. Once she was alone with the nurse, she was informed that, per the doctor’s recommendations, Hobi would be released from the hospital tomorrow. He could pick up his first round of his new medication before leaving.

“We just wanted to tell you, as his next of kin, because he should be monitored for the first few days after release and the first few days while starting the medication. If you notice anything unusual, please let us know.” The nurse informed.

Sun nodded her thanks and went to the room to share the good news. But when she crossed the threshold, she was met with looks of concern from everyone except Hobi and Jimin. Jimin instead looked apologetic.

“Sunie, dear,” Jin said sweetly, getting up from his seat and crossing over to her, “Are you okay now?” He then reached out to stroke her arm.

“What do you mean, now? Jin, why are you mothering me? You usually don’t.” Sun said.

“Jimin said you had a panic attack outside due to anxiety. Why didn’t you tell us you deal with anxiety? I could have brought your medication with your clothes so you didn’t forget to take it.” Jin responded, pulling his hand back and starting to flutter. Joon came up behind him and tried silently calming Jin, knowing Sun would need some space.

Sun focused on Jimin, eyes sharp. “I thought you said you wouldn’t tell them?”

“I-I didn’t tell them… I just came back into the room and Jin started asking questions and got it out of me. I’m sorry.” Jimin said, looking down at his feet.

Tae jumped to Jimin’s defence. “He really didn’t rat on you, Sun noona. Jin was insistent.”

“Besides, Jimin isn’t exactly good with keeping secrets or telling lies; his face is too expressive.” Kookie chimed in.

Sun sighed and visibly relaxed. “I’m sorry I assumed you ratted on me, Jiminie. And Jin, I never told you guys because I didn’t want you to worry. I had my medication before and it’s really helped. I just forgot to take it recently because I was more worried about Hobi being here.”

“Please tell us stuff like this in the future.” Jin said softly.

Sun nodded and gave Jin a hug before looking at Hobi specifically. “I came in here to give some good news, but the whole anxiety thing got me off track.”

“What’s the news?”

“Hobi is going to be released tomorrow. They cleared him for going home.” She said, cracking a smile. Everyone cheered before Sun shushed them. “Shut up or they’ll kick everyone out of the room until tomorrow.”

Having nowhere else to sit, Sun perched on the edge of Hobi’s bed again. “We’ll have to pick up the first round of your medication before leaving tomorrow.” She said softly. “It’ll be fine, though. It’s something to get used to, but I can say from experience that it get easier. And you’ll have all of us.”

Hobi hugged her close. “You know me too well sometimes, Sunie. I’m nervous about the medication, but you’re right that I have all of you to help. Jin alone won’t let me forget to take the medication; he mothers everyone.”

“Jin isn’t the only one.” Sun whispered next to Hobi’s ear.

He pulled back enough to give her a questioning look.

“I notice that Yoongi watches you carefully sometimes, even moves in response to you some times. I think he’d mother you, too, if he had the chance. He’s been closest with you since the beginning… He likes you, Hobi.” She explained, still against his ear.

Hobi turned red and Sun slid off the bed, noticing Yoongi’s eyes flitting between her and Hobi before settling on the latter, drinking in his flustered state. Sun made her way over to Jimin, who was just finishing up his food that had been left.

“How much of it was gone when you got back, Jiminie?” She asked.

He swallowed down his mouthful before answering “It was actually left alone. Did you want some?” He offered the container to her.

“No, you need to eat and I’m not too hungry.”

***

Sun woke up on the pull-out bed and knew it was the last time she’d be doing that. Sitting up, she saw Hobi was already awake. “Can’t sleep?”

“I guess I’m just excited to go back to the dorm and still nervous about the medication.” Hobi answered.

Sun got up and folded the bed back into the couch before joining Hobi on the bed. “You’ll be fine. The medication will just help control the extremes of the bipolar.”

“You’re supposed to watch me the first few days, aren’t you? To make sure I don’t get worse or the medicine has adverse effects.” Hobi asked out of the blue, staring at Sun intently.

Sun was slightly taken aback by the utter seriousness on his face; something she wasn’t used to outside of dancing. She let the question hang in the air, almost not wanting to answer, but finally nodded.
“Yeah. They just want to make sure you don’t have a reaction with anything in the medication and that it’s the best one for you.”

Before they could go any deeper into that vein, Jin came into the room. “Last time of bringing you clothes, Sun, not that I don’t enjoy it.”

“Thank you, Jin. And I’ll be glad to be able to get clothes myself, no offense.” Sun returned, hopping off the bed to grab the fresh clothes.

“None taken.”

As she went to the bathroom to freshen up and change, she could already hear the rest of Bangtan making their way to the room. Great, they were already nice and loud. After changing, Sun splashed some water on her face, only slightly stalling. She still hadn’t taken her medicine and felt a slight surge of panic bubble up in her chest even though she was faced with a happy situation. She took a minute to try and push that bubble back down, splashing more water on her face. When she felt calm enough again, she quickly braided her hair and went back to the room, finding the noise familiar and calming.

Sun was almost immediately tangled in balloons as soon as she stepped into the room and cursed without thinking.

“Sun, language.” Jin reminded.

“Sorry, Jin, but it’s kind of surprising to be attacked by balloons as soon as I come back.”

“Sorry.” Tae said, helping to untangle her before pulling the balloons away from the door. “We probably should have moved those away from the door.”

“You think?” Sun returned, affectionately smacking his arm. “Sometimes I wonder about you, TaeTae.”

“But you still like me~”

“More like tolerate, for Hobi’s sake.” She teased.

Tae pouted slightly, allowing Sun a moment of focus to take in everything that was brought for Hobi: an almost ridiculous number of balloons and pastel colored unicorn with a ribbon tied around its neck lying across Hobi’s lap.

“You got him a stuffed horse?” She asked, looking around to see who the culprit was.

“It’s a unicorn, not a horse. And Hobi likes it.” Tae huffed. As if on cue, Hobi hugged the unicorn to his chest with one of his heart smiles.

“Sometimes I swear you’re, like, six years old.” Sun sighed.

A nurse came in to unhook Hobi from the machines, needing to maneuver around the stuffed toy, and give Sun the release papers before departing again with a slightly judgmental look.

After the papers were signed, Kookie and Jimin helped Hobi out of the bed even though he protested that he could walk on his own just fine, and they went to pick up Hobi’s new medication before leaving the hospital together. Just like getting to the hospital, they had to split up into different vehicles to get back to the dorm. At the dorm, everyone let Hobi lead the way to the dorm. His relief was obvious when he got to the door, having been given the keys, and unlocked it, nearly falling inside.

Once they were inside, Hobi flopped into a chair with the unicorn still in his arms, grinning. “I missed this place.”

“Hobi hyung come play with us!” The maknaes chorused, grabbing a basketball.

“No.” Yoongi growled, coming and snatching the basketball out of Kookie’s hands. “He just got home from the hospital, so nothing too physical yet. Why not choose something else for now?”

“Okay. How about some video games?” Tae suggested, nudging Kookie to grab the game controllers instead. Hobi moved from the chair to the couch to join them.

“Take it easy on him.” Yoongi warned, perching on the arm of the couch next to Hobi to keep an eye on things. Hobi tossed the stuffed unicorn across Yoongi’s lap to free his hands for gaming.

Yoongi chuckled soundlessly and ruffled Hobi’s hair fondly. “This is why you’re the honorary maknae.”

In the privacy of the dorm everything was safe, so Jin wrapped himself in Joon’s arms and put his head on the younger’s shoulder. “Now all my babies are home.”

“You can relax now.” Joon said, rubbing Jin’s back soothingly.

Sun, who had stayed by the door, felt like she was intruding on a private moment. Fiddling with her long sleeves, Sun was about to excuse herself when Jimin came up to her.

“Are you gonna be okay going home by yourself?” He asked.

“I live in the dorm above you, Jimin. I think I can make it just fine.” Sun answered, only a trace amount of sarcasm dripping into her voice.

“O-Oh yeah… Well… Please take your medicine when you get up there.”

“I will.” She said simply before going out the open door. Just into the hall, she paused and went back over the threshold to see Jimin still standing there. Sun grabbed the front of his shirt to get him to bend down enough to kiss his cheek, but even then she had to go on her toes. “Thank you for helping me with the panic attack yesterday, Jiminie.”

She then left Jimin standing there, a hand coming up to the cheek she had kissed, as she closed the door behind them.