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broken glass for us to hold

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It’s been a long time since Young has had to give someone advice on how to cope with torture, and he could honestly have gone a whole lot longer. But this is apparently something that’s going to have to be done, and TJ’s not up for this, and Camile has never been tortured, and he’s not going to make Scott do this, so that leaves him.

“Hey, Rush,” he says as gently as he can manage. “How are you?”

Rush jumps at least six inches, even though he had to have known Young was there from the sound of his footsteps. Though, Young supposes, it's not unheard of for the science team, especially Rush, to work through what would normally distract most people, including lack of sleep and hunger.

"Fine," Rush says, belatedly and too soft. "What do you want?"

Young leans against the bulkhead, taking the weight off his bad leg for a moment. "Just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're doing alright," he says. "I know things were, uh, not the best there for a while with Kiva when you were in Telford's body."

"She tortured me," Rush says sharply, almost sounding like his old self. "Is that what you wanted to hear? She tortured me and I broke."

"No," Young says. "I don't want to make you talk about it, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do. I just want to make sure you know that, um, if you need to talk to someone, I'm here and Camile's offered as well. I'm sure you know that I've, ah, been tortured before as well, so."

"I don't need your pity," Rush snarls. "I'm fine."

Young holds up his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Okay. Just wanted to make sure."

Rush turns back to his work. "You've done that. Now shoo."

Young pushes himself off the wall and straightens up. He stares for a long second at Rush's back, and finally turns and leaves, making sure his steps are loud enough for Rush to hear.


Rush leans forward against the console. Damn Young and his idiotic concern! As if Rush would tell him anything beyond what he was required to, let alone something personal. He wraps fingers around the edge of the console, steadying himself. He doesn't want to admit weakness to anyone, especially not Young. He doesn't like the man, doesn't respect him, certainly doesn't trust him. So he keeps his mouth shut about what Kiva had done, and tries his hardest not to flinch when anyone so much as comes too close.

He doesn't cry, at night when he goes to sleep. He doesn't let himself, because he'd pretty much cried himself out when Gloria died, and then when Kiva and her thugs tortured him he'd cried from the pain, and now he doesn't know how to let himself cry any more.

He dreams of Gloria, of her smile and eyes and lips soft on his.

She turns into Kiva, biting and licking and forcing his mouth open as she encourages her thugs to continue to feel him up. He wakes with a scream on his lips, glad his quarters are away from the others', because this would certainly be an awkward thing to explain.


Young doesn't know how much Rush wants him to know. Kiva had told him more than he'd ever wanted, more than he'd expected.

She had told him graphic details of how she'd used torture techniques that were all too familiar to him, and then that he "looked good with a dick inside him". She'd smiled at the horror he couldn't hide fast enough, and that was when he'd tried to punch her.

He sits down in his chair and runs his fingers through his messy curls. His hair is too long, falling into his eyes when he leans forward. But there's really nothing he can do about it, he has enough trouble keeping himself clean-shaven and trying to enforce the other military men to do the same.

He opens his computer and starts checking the personnel files saved there. He knows Rush needs help - it's pretty obvious that he's having some trouble reconciling what happened, he's not been eating properly, and Drs Park and Volker have been telling him that Rush isn't acting like himself.

So Young wracks his brain and tries to remember who he knows that Rush might feel comfortable talking to.


The only name he comes up with is someone he's relatively comfortable with himself, but hasn't spoken to in a while. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard is the military commander of the Atlantis outpost in the Pegasus galaxy, and Young knows him to be a good, if awkward, listener, as well as a trauma survivor himself.

So when he's on Earth reporting in, he asks, as if he's just thought of it, "Would it be possible for me and my people to have a few days on Atlantis?"

He gets a positive response, which is way more than he'd expected, and so he comes back to Destiny smiling. "We're going to have a few days on Atlantis," he says to Scott, and watches the lieutenant's face light up.

Camile looks surprised when he tells her he's arranged this, but she doesn't object. In fact, as the news spreads across the ship, everyone seems to be buzzing with anticipation, even more than when they're scheduled to go home to see family or friends. Young purposely rearranges a few things on Camile's draft schedule so Brody and Volker can go together - he's walked in on them kissing twice now - and he and Rush can go together. Maybe having Young there will help Rush be less distrustful of Sheppard.