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I'M SORRY

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Merlin had, had enough, he could no longer listen to his husbands head broad banging off the wall next to his room, he could no longer stand the fact that Arthur would rather be sleeping with his Boyfriend then his Husband.

So while Arthur was at Pendragon and Son, and Gwaine had left Merlin put his plan into action.

He packed up all his cloths, all his belonging and placed them if his truck, Merlin looked around the home he had lived in for 5 years making sure that there was nothing left behind that he would need to come back for.

Once he was sure he walked in to the kitchen and left his note and wedding ring for Arthur to find once he got tired of fucking Gwaine.

And then Merlin walked out the door and into his car, where he drove off to his bookshop, the flat above had no one renting it and as Merlin owned both the flat and the book shop below he thought it best to put it to go use.

For the past few weeks Merlin had been slowly moving his things into the flat, he wanted Arthur to notice that Merlin’s essence was being less and less in their shared home, but Arthur never once noticed anything.

Merlin was long gone by the time Arthur came home!

When Arthur Pendragon stepped into his little home he shared with his husband, he noticed the different immediately.

Things that belonged to Merlin seem to have gone missing, Arthur started to have a sucking feeling that something bad had happened while he was out.

Arthur walked into the kitchen to see if Merlin was in there finishing off his dinner, they never ate together anymore, hell they never did anything together anymore.
Arthur looked at the empty kitchen and sighed, it would see Merlin hadn’t been here all day.

Arthur’s eyes noticed something small and shiny on the countertop and when he walked over he could not help but sob a little.

There on top of what looked ever much like divorce papers was Merlin’s wedding ring.

With shaky hands Arthur lifted up his husbands ring and held it close as he read the note Merlin had left for him.

My dear Arthur, if I’m still aloud to call you that,

I don’t really know why I’m writing this letter to you seeing as you have long forgotten me, I guess it might have something to do with closer but anyways, the time has come for us to part, and I do not mean sleep in different room which as my husband you should have been against, but then again when Gwaine is involved you seem to not really thing of me, the man that loved you when you were at your lowest weakest point and stood by you thought everything.

But as people once said Pendragon’s do what they want no matter the cost. Right?

Well I am done with being the cost, I no longer want to fall asleep listening to you have sex with your partner with is not ME and most of all I tried of living in to past waiting for you to wake up and see me again and not your long lost lover Gwaine.

I have left my wedding ring and anything else that you have given me, to prove to myself and to you that it is over; I have also signed and dated the divorce papers.

If you every once loved me Arthur, please do this one last thing for me, I’ve never once asked you for anything not in all our 15 years together, but I’m asking now.
Sign the papers Arthur and let me move on, just like you have with Gwaine.

I don’t want to hurt anymore over you and I would like it very much if I never had to see your face again, this will be the last time we speak.

I hope you and Gwaine are happy and that you can look past me, like you always have and forget that I was there, which I’m sure you can do perfectly seeing as you have been doing it for months

Good bye Arthur, it was a somewhat nice ride while it lasted but we have come to the end of our road and it seem that we we’re not meant to be.

Please be happy Arthur

I have always loved you and I’m sure until someone come to save me from that love I always will

You’re for now
Merlin.

Arthur could see where Merlin’s tears had fallen and Arthur felt his heart break.

Yes had had been a sucky husband these past few month hell maybe even for years but he never once thought Merlin would leave, they could work though anything Merlin would always say, but it would seem that they could not work though this.

Arthur placed the letter back on the table and looked at the divorce papers, more importantly the date.

12/5/2012

They had been signed the moment he started to see Gwaine again.

Arthur if you cheat on me again I’m signing them Merlin’s voice rang loud and clear though his mind.

Arthur remembered that Merlin had treated him two years ago when he was court in bed with Gwaine the first time.

Arthur always thought it was an empty treat, even more so when he started dating Gwaine again.

Arthur guess that the reason Merlin waited so long was because he was hoping Arthur would wake up.

Arthur didn’t want to sign away the only good thing that had happened to him, but when Arthur really thought about it, he knew he already had, so with a heavy heart Arthur signed and dated the divorce papers.

Arthur body seem to go onto auto pilot and Arthur found himself standing in the Merlin slept holding a pillow that still smelled of him.

Arthur looked over at the night stand to see a picture of the two of them; it was taking when they first started to date, when they had been happy.

Arthur let his mind go back to the day he first meant Merlin.

Flashback

Arthur hated boarding school just as much as he hated private schools and Arthur in his 16 years of life had been kicked out of almost all of them.

Arthur had just gotten himself kick out of another boarding school, he was on his last warning and when they found Arthur in the storage room with Gwaine’s lips around his cock they had no choice but to call his father and kick he out.

Uther had been pissed that his son was doing everything in his power to get kicked out of the best school in the country; No one wanted Arthur in their schools anymore so Uther was forced to send his son to public school, he knew that was what Arthur wanted and having no choice in the matter Arthur got his own way.

Arthur was looking forward to his first day; he hated being the new kid but he could live with it.

Arthur had just gotten his timetable when he bumped into a someone coming out of a class room.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going” Arthur looked up and his breath was court in his throat as he looked into the most beautiful and strange eyes he had ever seen
The golden eyed beautiful grabbed his book and stood up.

“That’s OK, I wasn’t looking either. I’m Arthur” Arthur smiled and put his hand forward .

“MERLIN HURRY UP MATE” Someone yelled from behind them.

“Sorry that my call, I need to go” With that Merlin was running off to catch his friend.

When Arthur had English he was inform by a boy named Cenred, head of the football team, that he wasn’t meant to speck to the freaks if he wanted to make the team this afternoon.

Arthur disliked him immediately.

When lunch came around he was looking forward to seeing Merlin again.

As he entered the lunch hall, he saw the football team waving him over but his feet took him to the table at the far back where Merlin sat, his head in a book, talking with his friends.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” Arthur asked.

Five shocked heads looked up at Arthur.

“What?” Arthur asked confused.

“You want to be on the team, walk away mate” One of the boys said.

Arthur noticed him to be the same one that had called Merlin away earlier.

“I don’t want to play football, so is the seat taken or not?” Arthur asked again.

“If you’re sure mate” the boy said again.

“Thank you” Arthur replied sitting down.

The table seem to go back to what they were talking about before he had shown up.

“I’m Gwen by the way” the female nearest to him said smiling.

“Arthur” He replied.

“This is my boyfriend Lance, That’s Freya and her boyfriend Will and then you have Merlin” Gwen finished .

“Hello” Arthur smiled.

Merlin looked up from his book and looked around the room.

“Hey where’s Nim?” Merlin asked.

“Oh, umm I don’t know she wasn’t in history” Freya answered.

Merlin put his book down and got up.

“I’m going to look for her” Merlin said leaving his bag behind.

Arthur chuckled to himself as he remembered thing that Nimueh was Merlin’s girlfriend, it seem so silly now, but Arthur remembered being really jealous.

Arthur had been sitting at the freak table as it was called for a week now, and he was surprisingly happy.

He had asked Merlin if they could go out on a date, once he realised that Nim was not a treat to him and not Merlin’s Girlfriend/

Arthur couldn’t believe it what Merlin said Yes .

Standing outside Merlin’s little home, Arthur couldn’t help but smiled.

While Arthur waited for Merlin to finishes getting ready, Arthur had realised that Merlin always seem to be running late for almost everything, Arthur sat in the living room with Merlin’s siblings steering at him.

“I’m Mordred” The little boy said, he seem to be no older than 6 years old.

“It’s nice to meet you” The boy kinda creped Arthur out …Still does.

“I’m Morgana and this is my twin sister Morgause” Arthur had a hard time telling them apart, he keep calling them by the others name.

Still can’t seem to get that right, they didn’t like it when Arthur said they should wear something so he could tell them apart.

The date had been wonderful, perfect even and Arthur found himself in love with Merlin.

They had gone on a few dates, kissed and even touched each other but they had never had sex, so when Arthur had the house to himself he planned the perfect evening
A candle lit dinner, made by Arthur, romantic music playing in the background.

They had been dating a month now, and Merlin said it was time that they meet the parents .

Arthur had never once had a boyfriend, that wasn’t well Gwaine, and he wondered what his father would say to Merlin.

Of course Merlin’s parents loved Arthur; Hunith thought of him as a third son and Balinor was always there to listen to his problems.

When it came to Merlin’s turn Arthur was scared, he really liked Merlin and didn’t want his father to scare him away, but Merlin surprised him.

When Uther talked about Merlin being a freak, he paid Uther no mind but when Uther started to gang up on Arthur, Merlin came to his reuse .

“I will not stand here and left you bad mouth your son, I love him Mr Pendragon and you can all me any name you wish, you can fear me for my eyes if you like but I will not let you talk to my boyfriend that way” Merlin had said standing chest to chest kinda with Uther.

After that Uther seem to warm up to Merlin, Uther even help Merlin to get into a good college .

When Arthur had taken Merlin home that night, he stopped Merlin before he could leave.

“You love me?” Arthur asked .

“Yes, I love you, heart and soul” Merlin had replied kissing Arthur on the cheek.

“I love you Merlin, Heart and soul” Arthur had replied smiling.

End of flashback

Arthur had only ever loved one other man, and it would seem that love had destroy what he had with Merlin, of Course Arthur didn’t try to stop that from happening.

Arthur had been so happy to find out that they were going to the same college that Merlin was his roommate, they had worried that their relationship might have to be put on hold while at college but seeing as they were going to the same one, they could not be happier.

They had their first fight during the first half of their first year at College, it had been a silly little thing, Arthur had been jealous over Merlin’s friendship with some boy in his business class. Arthur had gotten Drunk and spelt with some guy, who in the morning turned out to be Gwaine, Arthur never told Merlin what happened that night, instead he went back to their room, found Merlin in tears and told him how sorry he was.

But that wasn’t the last of Gwaine far from it, he always seem to be at the core of the trouble, Merlin was OK with their friendship and trusted Arthur not to do anything that would destroy what they had.

When Gwaine got kicked out, Arthur saw it as a blessing, He had tried so hard to stay out of Gwaine’s bed and it seem to have would.

But before Gwaine left he had told Arthur that he loved him, and he would always love him forever.

Those words always had Arthur coming back to Gwaine.

When they had finished College Arthur took Merlin out to their favourite stop and asked his to marry him .

It made Arthur’s day when Merlin tearfully said yes.

The wedding was wonderful, Merlin looked beautiful in his white tux, they promised to love each other forever
Forever didn’t last did it.

Merlin had been busy with the opening of his Book shop, the Dragon’s cave, and Arthur found himself in Gwaine’s bed, who had just come home from a world trip around the world
Arthur had called it quits then, told Gwaine he was happy that he had everything he wanted, and Gwaine had left and once again things were good.

Two years ago things started to go bad, Uther had gotten ill and was told to stop working or he would die, so Uther moved into their little home, while Arthur looked after the business.

Arthur couldn’t take all the hours, the never seeing Merlin, the late night, the no sex because when Arthur got home his husband would be fast asleep.

Arthur had taken the evening off so he could send it with Merlin, but Merlin had called last time saying that he was needed down at the shop, so Arthur sat in the bar drinking, and when Gwaine showed up Arthur wasted no time in taking him home and fucking him .

Of course Uther had told him off about it in the morning, saying that he was fucking up a good thing …he was right.

Arthur didn’t, he keep seeing Gwaine, a week after the affair had started Merlin came home early and found them in bed together, Arthur still had his dick in Gwaine’s ass
Merlin had yelled, cried and fought but Arthur couldn’t stop saying sorry.

Merlin had gone to his parent that night and when he came back he had divorce papers in hand, Arthur had begged Merlin for another chance, that he loved Merlin Heart and soul
Merlin had agreed to take Arthur back, on the grounds that he sopped whatever he was doing with Gwaine at once, Merlin had told him that if he ever dated seeing Gwaine again that was it.

“Arthur if you cheat on me again I’m signing them, I don’t care if your drunk, you keep your dick in your pants” Merlin had yelled.

Things never got better after that, Arthur and Merlin would fight almost every day, if Merlin wasn’t at the shop or Arthur at work.

It started out as Arthur just wanting someone to care for him, and then it turned into a relationship .

When Merlin asked that he was not going to be sleeping in a bed that Arthur was taking Gwaine to Arthur should have said anything but ‘alright’.

“ARTHUR” Arthur blinked and looked up to see Gwaine standing in the door way to Merlin’s room.

“What do you want?” Arthur hissed.

“I see Merlin finally gave in then” Gwaine said walking into Merlin’s room and sitting next to Arthur.

“Yes, I lost him because of my need for you” Arthur said getting up and walking away.

“He, you’re the one that came looking for me. You told me you were happy but you always came back to me” Gwaine replied.

Arthur punched Gwaine and told him to leave that he never wanted to see him every again.

“What you fighting for Arthur, you have nothing anymore, that golden Eyed freak left you” Gwaine yelled slamming the door.

Arthur didn’t remember what happen in the next few weeks but he seem to snap out of it, one day on the way home from work.

Arthur went straight to the Dragon’s Cave and found Merlin putting some books away.

“Merlin?” Arthur called out.

Merlin slowly turned to look at his ex-husband and former love of his life.

“Arthur” Merlin replied.

“Umm, I woke up, I got rid of Gwaine once and for all. I promise that it will never happen again” Arthur said walking towards Merlin.

“I’ve heard those words before Arthur, I won’t be fooled again” Merlin said calmly.

“Why are you not yelling at me? Calling me names? Merlin are you not anger?” Arthur hated the way Merlin was acting more that the fact that Merlin was now his ex.

“Arthur, it’s been weeks since I left you, since the papers were filed. I’ve got over my anger that first week you brought Gwaine home” Merlin replied picking up a few more books to put away.

“I’ve woken up now Merlin” Arthur said again.

“Yes, I can see that Arthur” Merlin said not looking at him.

“In your letter you wished I woke up, I have now, please Merlin let us start over. Go out with me tomorrow” Arthur beg and plead to every god that Merlin would say yes
Before Merlin could answer the ball to the shop door rang.

“Baby, where are you?” A male voice called out.

“Over here Percy” Merlin answered.

Arthur looked up at the man, now coming to stand next to his Merlin.

“Umm was I interrupting something” Percy asked.

“Yes” Arthur said and the same time Merlin said “No”.

“This is Arthur, my ex” Merlin said.

“Oh” it would seem this Percy knew all about Arthur.

“Merlin” Arthur begged.

“I’m sorry Arthur, you woke up too late.” Merlin replied.

“I think you should leave now man” Percy said.

“Fine, but I will prove to you Merlin that I love you heart and soul” Arthur replied walking out of the little shop.

For weeks Arthur would go down to the little book shop, he would sometimes bring gifts; coffees but Merlin never once seem to notice.

Arthur was about to give up, when he saw Merlin and Percy having a fight, once Percy had left in anger Arthur slowly walked over to his ex-husband.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked up at Arthur with tears running down his face.

“why do people I love hurt me Arthur?” Merlin had asked.

Arthur pulled him into his arms and left the other man cry out all his pain until he had fallen asleep, Arthur carefully took Merlin up to the flat above and placed Merlin on his little bed.

“I’m sorry I hurt you so much” Arthur whispered.

Arthur while he waited for Merlin to wake up, tried up Merlin’s little messes flat.

Arthur stopped when he came across adoption papers, Merlin had always talked about being a father, about wanting children.

“Percy don’t want to be tried down at the moment” Arthur looked up and saw a red eyed Merlin walking towards him.

“That’s why the big fight” Arthur summed up.

“I only asked him how he felt about being a father.” Merlin sighed.

“I can you being a great father Merlin” Arthur said wrapping an arm around him.

“I always sure us raising a child together, it seem silly now” Merlin sighed.

“I woke up, I realised that I was so in need of someone to love me, that when I met Gwaine in boarding school and he had said those three important words, that I would do anything for him just to hear it again. I was so happy with you, so happy and free, so in love, but everything Gwaine showed up and said ‘I love you’ it was like nothing else mattered. And then you left me I spent the whole of that night thinking about you, about us and when Gwaine showed up it didn’t matter. He said ‘I love you’ and nothing I wanted you, I wanted real love and when you said it was too late, I knew I need to fight, need to show you I was no longer under Gwaine’s spell” Arthur brought his had up slowly and placed it on Merlin’s cheek.

.“I’ve miss My Arthur” Merlin cried wrapping his arms around Arthur’s neck.

“I promise to never leave you again”

That night the both cried themselves to sleep, but never once did they let go.

THE END