Stardate: Probably a Tuesday
Miss Piggy, the newly appointed first mate of the SS Swinetrek, checked her metallic pink uniform in the mirror. She was about to enter the bridge for the first time, and was determined to make a good impression. Although, given that her captain was an idiot, she wasn’t entirely sure who she wanted to impress.
Suddenly, another pig materialised in front of her. The intruder had blonde hair similar to her own, but worn in a curious style that piled up around her forehead. She wore a lycra outfit with a badge that somewhat resembled First Mate Piggy’s own Swinefleet insignia, although the lightning bolt had been replaced with an arrowhead.
"Piggy, listen to moi,” said the newcomer, “I am your … ever-so-slightly older self, and I come from the future with a warning. The whole galaxy may be at stake! You must…”
But before she could say anything more, she disappeared again.
Piggy shrugged. “Eh, can’t have been that important.”
Stardate: Many years later
The other Miss Piggy blinked and looked round. She was back in the science lab of the SS Swinetrek II, the HogHeaven-class replacement for the WhenPigsFly-class ship she’d been originally posted on, and to which she had briefly returned. The ship’s captain, P.J. Pighead, and alien science officer, Craniac, hovered over her.
“Well?” Captain Pighead asked her, “Did you delivair ze messaige?”
Piggy glared at him “I was there for about five seconds, of course I didn’t deliver the message! I barely got as far as ‘I come from the future’!”
“Sorry,” said Craniac, his exposed brain crinkling further with concentration as he pressed switches. “I think I can probably maintain the time displacement for longer, but I need more power.” He shrugged, “Maybe having it run on internal power to avoid draining the ship’s systems wasn’t the best idea. Or maybe I just need more AA batteries.”
“Nevair mahnd,” said Pighead reassuringly, “We can trah again in ze mohnin’.”
“Sure,” muttered Piggy, “If it’s not too late by then.”
Stardate: That probably-a-Tuesday again
“Zo, you zay you vere visited by a strange apparition?” asked Dr Julius Strangepork.
“Yeah, it materialised here, said something about coming from the future and then vanished again. I thought you might have an explanation, since you’re supposed to be our science guy.”
“Oh, ja, I’m zure zere’s a zimple explanation,” Strangepork assured her, as he wrote “First Mate possibly cuckoo in zer noggin” in his electronotebook.
Stardate: Many years and one day later
“Okay, Crainiac, you’re sure it’ll work this time?” Piggy asked as she re-entered the timeporter.
“Of course, no problem. Just as long as you don’t get distracted. And don’t tell them to much, or you could change history.”
“That’s right,” agreed Officer Snorty, “We could end up in a future where humans have taken over the Earth or something!”
“Okay, let’s go for iiiiiii…”
And she vanished.
“Remahnd me,” said Captain Pighead thoughtfully, “’Ow do we know eef eet ‘as worked?”
Craniac studied a read-out intently before shrugging again. “When she comes back, we ask her. And if she doesn’t come back, it didn’t.”