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More than you realize

Chapter Text

“I don't want to risk it.” he says sipping his beer. There sitting in merlotte's after a semi optional friends/family dinner.Everyone's scattered to different corners for tasks in preparations for a fireworks show.
“Risk what?” tara says annoyed
He pause before answering and looks her the eye. “Risk it going bad. You're the best friend snooki's got and if i do something stupid she’ll never talk to me again and she's all i got. If you do something stupid and she stops talking to you it’ll ruin her life. i won't risk it,maybe we'd have something special maybe we won't but i’d rather live with not knowing rather than risk her happiness.”
He pause again this time to gaze around the empty bar “i hope you can  understand, it's not because i think your not beautiful because you are or smart because other than the fact you think i’m worth your time... you're the smartest person in this town. But i aint anyones happy ending and trust me you deserve a happy ending with someone who deserves you and not with an idiot like me.”
“You're not an idiot” she says quietly because she can see the pain in his eyes.
“Yes i am. Half this town would label me special, they’re just too nice to say it to my face. People only put up with me because I was a football star. But I'm not anything else, not gifted like snooki or smart like you or nice like hoyt. My only saving grace is that women think i'm attractive and i've got what five more years before i'm just an the old guy clinging to his glory days. You have a bright future and the only thing getting with me will do is dull it.” he says with a smirk and a laugh.He really means everything he's saying and god it's breaking her heart.
“People take you for granted Jason.” Tara says tearing up.
No they don't, I don't have anything to offer. Oh shit don't cry I didn't mean to make you cry.
“You're a good person Jason I don't think enough people realize that.”
“You really think that.”
“Ya and you should to Sookie's real lucky to have you.”