When Shredder's transformed, he's 17
Shredder woke up one morning after partying late into the night. The occasion being his thirty-sixth birthday, with a raging headache and a desire to upchuck. Getting up slowly, he rubbed his throbbing temple and, en route, to the bathroom, caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and shrieked in amazement and revulsion. Instead of his handsome face, a forest green face with hazel eyes peered back at him. I'm seeing things, he thought. Surely? He glanced down at himself and saw that he now had three fingers and two toes. Oh, hell. I've been turned into my worst nightmare! A frigging turtle, he thought. What the heck am I going to do? I can't be seen like this and just when I landed a date with Juanita too! I'm going to be sick! I don't want to be a damn turtle. How am I going to explain this to everyone?
A knock sounded at the bedroom door. "Boss," Bebop said. "Time to get up."
"Um, take the day off," Shredder said and startled, hearing his new high pitched feminine voice. Fucking great, he thought acerbically. I'm not only a turtle. I'm a female turtle. Can things possibly get any worse?
"You okay, boss?" Rocksteady asked from beside Bebop. "You sound odd."
"I have a cold," Shredder said. "I'm just going to spend the day in bed."
"Want us to get you anything?"
"No. Just go."
"Okay. We're going to go play video games in our rooms. Come on, Bebop!"
Fuck, Shredder thought. What am I going to do? I know I'll go outside for a walk. Maybe an idea will come to me. Donning a long rain coat and a hat, Shredder went outside.
Shredder hadn't gone far, when he saw two blonde and brawny thugs hot wiring a car in broad daylight. He pulled down his fedora and tried to walk past, pretending he hadn't seen anything, when one pulled out a switchblade, approached him and said, "Hey, shorty, give us your dough, or else you're gonna get this!"
"Eat dirt!" Shredder snarled, baring his teeth, hazel eyes flashing, and, forgetting he was a turtle, discarded his trench coat and hat and got into a fighting stance.
"Whoa. What the heck are you? A giant turtle or something?" thug number two asked in incredulity. "Or an alien from another planet?"
"Come closer and you'll find out!" Shredder hissed, advancing.
"I'm not scared of no shell back!" thug number two said, leaving the car and joining his pal. "Bring it on."
Shredder leaped high into the air and, kicking his legs out, knocked them both flat onto the ground, winding them. However, twelve more men soon joined their friends, and, outnumbered, Shredder soon found himself on the losing end. He fought bravely, but soon tiring, he was picked up like a rag doll by a brown haired goon and thrown into a wall, his shell hitting it with a loud crack and his eyes sliding shut, he slumped down onto the ground in a heap. Another goon then picked him up, and opening a manhole, threw his prone body down the shaft.
Raphael muttered angrily, his fists clenched, his green eyes blazing, as he navigated the sewer tunnels. After yet another feud with Leo, he'd stomped off out of the lair, needing to cool down. Who the fuck does Leo think he is, he wondered? Always actin' like he's better than us. Well, he ain't! I'm so fuckin' tired of his bull shit and one day I'm gonna smash his face in and show him who's the better turtle! Whoa. What have we here? Stopping, Raphael gazed down at Shredder and thought, wow, another turtle. Thought we were the only ones. And judgin' by the shape of the plastron, it's a girl. Wow. A girl turtle and with matin' season comin' up, my prayers have been answered! Means I don't gotta lose my virginity ta my brothers. I can have a girl. A real girl. Looks like she's been injured. Poor thing. Cuts and bruises on her legs and plastron. Gonna take her home and nurse her and then I'm gonna make her mine.
Raphael gently lifted Shredder into his arms and headed back to the lair.
No one was about when Raphael arrived home and he took Shredder into his room, placing him onto the bed. Then he went off to the infirmary in search of bandages, cotton wool, cloths and warm water. Returning a few minutes later, he approached the bed and gently began to wipe the blood off of Shredder, while admiring the curves and contours of his body. "Yer gorgeous," Raphael whispered. "I wonder where ya come from and what yer story is. Why would anyone wanna hurt ya? Oh, wait. Yer a turtle like me and they thought ya a freak. Well, no one's gonna hurt ya again, babe. Ya have me now." Raphael wrapped bandages around Shredder's wounds on his legs and plastron, and tenderly stroked his cheek. "Yer safe, baby," he said. "Man, her lips look so soft and invitin'. I wonder what they'd be like ta kiss." He bent down, nuzzled his beak into Shredder's neck and thought, she smells like peaches. Love this. Then, he pressed a kiss to Shredder's lips and thought, wow, she definitely tastes like peaches too. I could kiss her forever and never tire.
Hazel eyes flickered open and forest green hands reached up, pushing Raphael away, as he leant in for another kiss. I'm going to be ill, Shredder thought, furiously wiping his lips. I've been kissed by one of the turtles. The brute, Raphael! My day really has gone to hell! "Back off!" he snapped, glaring at Raphael, who threw his hands up in apology.
"I'm sorry," Raphael said. "Ya just looked so cute and I...Please accept my apology. It won't happen again unless ya want it ta."
Hmm. Maybe I could use my new body after all, Shredder thought. Learn the turtles' secrets, tell my men where these creatures are and have them eradicated. Use my womanly charm on Raphael and he'll soon tell me all his deepest secrets. Great idea. "That's all right," Shredder said sweetly. "It was just a shock and we don't even know one another yet. Why don't you tell me who you are and where I am, huh?"
"Ya go first."
"Well, I don't have a name. I was a product of an experiment and called freak and thing and everything horrible under the sun and they did terrible things to me too. It was awful," Shredder said and a choke escaped his throat. I'm a great actress. I think he's buying my story, Shredder thought,
"Was it Bishop?" Raphael asked. "Fucker hurt us too."
"Yes. He hurt me so badly."
"Well, you're safe now. Ya have me and I'm gonna protect ya, okay? Don't cry, sweet girl. I found ya and yer safe in my home now and ya can stay here as long as ya like."
"Okay," Shredder sniffed. "Thank you."
"I'm gonna call ya Mona Lisa after the painting. I love it and think she's stunning. Ya are too," Raphael said, and blushed. "If ya don't mind me sayin'."
"You're so kind and what's your name?"
"Raphael, but my friends call me Raph."
"I like it. It's so manly and suits you."
Raphael's plastron swelled at the compliment and said, "Well, thank ya, Mona. I think we're gonna get on great."
"Where are we?"
"The sewers. I'm sorry it ain't somewhere flashier. A girl like ya deserves the best."
"I don't mind. It has you," Shredder said and reached for Raphael's hand.
Raphael grinned, took it and said, "That it does. Smells and is damp, but it's home."
"No place like home, huh?"
"Yeah. It'll do for now, but I got plans. Someday, I'm gonna leave. Even if it's another sewer I make my home in. I can't be here forever. Need ta make my own life. Tired of…."
"Raphael!" Leo called from outside his bedroom. "I can smell you in there and who are you talking to?"
"Fuck off, Leo!"
Leo opened the door and his jaw dropped when he saw the female turtle in Raphael's bed, holding his hand. Composing himself, Leo narrowed his eyes and said, "Who are you?"
Raphael removed his hand and said, "Her name's Mona Lisa and she's my friend. Mona, this is my brother, Leo. Now, get the hell outta my room, Leo!"
Leo crossed his arms and said, "You can't bring home strange people, Raph. What if she's trouble and reveals our location to people?"
"Excuse me," Shredder said. "I'm here and you have nothing to worry about. Raphael found me injured and brought me home. I'll leave when I'm better. I really….."
"Leo," Raphael said. "She's one of us and was also tortured by Bishop. Come on. She's sweet and…."
"You're letting your hormones rule you, Raph!" Leo accused irately.
"What the fuck are ya talkin' 'bout, Leo?" Raphael demanded crossly.
"Would you feel so strongly if she was a male turtle?"
"Yeah!" Raphael growled. "I would! Because I don't want anyone ta be tortured, Leo. Come on. Let her stay. She has nowhere ta go and she can sleep in my room. I don't mind. If we don't help her, Leo, those humans could find her again and hurt her. Do ya wanna live knowin' that happened and ya could have prevented it?"
This is fun, Shredder thought. Leonardo and Raphael fighting over me. And Leonardo doesn't want me to stay. Hmm. Is it really because he thinks I'm trouble or because he's afraid he'll succumb to my charms. I'm positive it's the latter. He has been checking me out when he thinks Raphael isn't looking.
Leo wrestled with his emotions. Damn, she's pretty and I'd like to know her, he thought, but something also tells me she could be trouble. Yet Raph's also right. If we don't help her, she could be captured. He sighed and said, "Fine, Mona. You can stay, but there are some ground rules. The most important one being no sexual intercourse. I have three brothers. Don and Mikey will meet you later. We've all pledged abstinence and we intend to keep it that way. Isn't that right, Raphael?"
"Um, yeah," Raphael said, while thinking, hell no. Ya may be a monk, Leo, but I ain't gonna stay one. Me and Mona have chemistry and I wanna get laid.
"Got it, Leo," Shredder said. "What else?"
"No alcohol, no smoking, no narcotics of any kind."
"In other words, life is gonna be a drag," Raphael said. "Leo's the boss. But hey, we can play video games, read, watch movies. Ya like movies, Mona?"
"No pornographic books or movies!" Leo said. "Or I'll toss them out, like I did with your stash, Raphael!"
"See how dull my life is?" Raphael said. "Ruled by the monk. Ya done with yer lecture, Leo? Ya can see yerself out!"
Leo bristled and said, "Curfew is at eleven if you go out and if we patrol, return home before dawn. We always eat our meals together and we share the chores, which reminds me. Raphael, it's your turn to vacuum the entire lair and mop. I'll see you later, Mona. One other thing. Raphael, your new BFF, well mating season always hits him hardest and first!" Leo said with a smirk and left.
"My life blows," Raphael huffed.
"Um, mating season?" Shredder said, intrigued.
"Yeah," Raphael said. "Matin' season. Hits us 'bout twice a year, Mona. Our hormones go nuts. Usually, we use our hands and go away somewhere, so that we don't do anythin' improper. Don't worry. I won't touch ya, okay? I can behave and control myself contrary ta what old stick-in-the mud says. I'd never hurt ya."
"When does it start?"
"Tomorrow. Ya hungry? What do ya like?"
"Surprise me, Raph. By the way, you're sexy and those green eyes of yours are beautiful."
Raphael ducked his head in embarrassment, his cheeks reddened, and said, "I'll be back now, Mona."
Yes, Shredder thought. I'm well on the way to winning Raphael's heart, but in order to learn the most secrets, I have to win Leo's too. And with mating season coming up and hormones going wild, that could work in my favor. No man can resist a woman, even prim and proper Leo, when he's randy. I defy him to prove me wrong.