Own nr: I’m going to throttle you.
*aubergine* didn’t you get it
*aubergine* fucking snailmail
Own nr: Your emotional manipulation parcel disguised as a grand romantic gesture? Yes, I did get that. Hence my murderous intentions.
*aubergine* no it wasn’t that
*aubergine* my grandfather used to say a gentleman doesn’t discuss personal matters on the phone
Own nr: He was right about that
Own nr: A gentleman would have called me to agree on a mutually convenient time, book a flight, and come to London
Own nr: Did the gentleman neglect to think about that?
*aubergine* it did occur to me that maybe I could just surprise you at work
Own nr: No.
Own nr: NO.
Own nr: If you ever just barge in, I swear to God
*aubergine* it started here.
*aubergine* it should play out here
Own nr: You’re taking it way too seriously
Own nr: And you’re frightfully dramatic and headstrong and plain rude
*aubergine* are you quite finished insulting me
Own nr: Bitch.
*aubergine* so you’re not coming
Own nr: Oh I’m coming
*aubergine* wait are you really?
Own nr: Very considerate of you to order me multiple meals, but I can’t eat on a plane
*aubergine* a gentleman would have called
*aubergine* also you should eat it’s an 8-hour flight
Own nr: I’m aware I should, I just told you I can’t
Own nr: It upsets my stomach
*aubergine* I’ll look after you
Own nr: Don’t try to talk smooth when the topic of discussion is me throwing up
Own nr: And there was no need to call. You bought the ticket. You know when my flight is.
*aubergine* I figured since you didn’t text me you didn’t like it and won’t come
Own nr: I didn’t like it but I’m on my way to tell you in your face how much I didn’t like it
Own nr: Please describe to me in detail how did it feel thinking I have dumped you
*aubergine* I didn’t look at it that way
*aubergine* I knew I wouldn’t give up on you
*aubergine* I knew I would go to the airport nevertheless and wait for u
*aubergine* even if I knew you won’t come, even if you told me you won’t
*aubergine* and then I would’ve flown to London and
*aubergine* demanded you look at me as you refuse me
*aubergine* look me in the eyes
*aubergine* I would’ve accepted my fate
*aubergine* but you couldn’t have done it
*aubergine* I know you wouldn’t have been able to
*aubergine* I’ve been waiting for you to come around
*aubergine* I can’t wait any longer
*aubergine* say sg
Own nr: Dozed off
*aubergine* fuck you
Own nr: I actually dozed off, idiot
Own nr: I’m at a loss what to say
Own nr: Anyhow
Own nr: You were right that we should not discuss it on the phone, so see you in about twelve hours
*aubergine* are you coming on BIKE?
Own nr: I had to google how long it would take to get to NY on bike just to show you how wrong your calculations are, and there were no valid results, so it was a complete waste of time
Own nr: Although I could take into account what happens if I get my bicycle on a boat
*aubergine* why is it taking you 12 hours to get here
*aubergine* is there a strike
*aubergine* was there an accident
*aubergine* send three dots if you’re in danger
*aubergine* answer your phone
Own nr: I very much doubt that the first words of the baby sitting in front of me with her father should be the string of profanities our conversation would ultimately lead to
Own nr: When I land, I’ll check into a hotel, freshen up a bit, call you, agree on a date, and then I’ll sleep for thirty years
*aubergine* no we can’t waste time
*aubergine* eat something & stay hydrated and shit come to my place and you can use the shower and sleep here and we don’t have to talk just please let me look at you
Own nr: Are you implying that you want to watch me sleep? If so I’m changing route and go to Australia where you shall never find me.
*aubergine* I want to be near you
*aubergine* please I couldn’t get you out of my head
Own nr: This is the sort of embarrassing thing we should only say in person
Own nr: Will consider it
Own nr: And I will try to sleep and force down a yoghurt
Own nr: Will contact you when I land
Own nr: You ridiculous man
Hux left the baggage reclaim with his I-94 form and passport between his teeth, and suffered through a humiliating inspection as the CBP officer, who sorted through his underwear, packs of lube, and a family size pack of condoms, informed him that he neglected to claim a half-eaten pack of gummy bears he completely forgot he had purchased in London. He paid the fine, had the CBP verbally threaten his visa, and headed to the terminal exit door, chin high.
JFK airport was grey and claustrophobic, such a sharp contrast with the familiar arches of Heathrow’s high ceiling and welcoming atmosphere. Some silly upbeat music was playing. He had half a mind to turn back on his heels and flip off the United States, except he didn’t want to go through the whole border inspection ordeal again, and also, he had caught sight of Ren.
Ren had the audacity to look devastatingly gorgeous, towering over the mass of waving and smiling families. They locked gazes, and there was no turning back. Hux neared him, his heart beating faster with every step. He didn’t have a clear memory of his face; it was always softer or sharper than in reality, the proportions all wrong, the colours off. Seeing him now provided a kind of comforting sensation, like when he put on his glasses in in the morning, the world shifting into place. He expected to be met by that trademark shit-eating grin, but Ren looked at him with only his eyes smiling.
Hux stopped short of the railing and wanted to say something which conveyed meet me at the end and missed you and god I hate you and not now all at once, but his thought process stopped when Ren pulled him into a hug.
Damn Ren, but this was the best hug ever. It was frighteningly easy to nestle into it, to pretend he had never gone back to Europe, that he was always right here, safe in the warmth of their embrace. It felt like travelling in time, the moment of arrival, like his soul finally caught up with his drifting body, seeping back into him. He was being remade, his heavy as lead limbs relaxing and mind easing.
“Move along, sir,” an officer warned, snapping him out of his trance. He clung to Ren tighter just to be a nuance.
“Fuck, you smell amazing,” he whispered into his neck, and Ren let out some small, content sound. To Hux’s shock, he hauled him up over the railing. The officer tried to say something, but trailed off mid-sentence with a scoff as Hux cried out: “What on—”
“Gotcha,” Ren mumbled, dropping him to his feet and pulling him right back into his arms, like nothing had happened. This time, it was less spiritual, reality and particularities starting to register themselves, and Hux tensed, but didn’t pull back. He allowed Ren to have this moment, vaguely worried about his luggage and more than a tad concerned about this madman who had put his forehead against Hux’s chest, demanding to be touched. Hux caressed his nape with a sort of careful marvel, like checking whether Ren was really there. He was, but so was the rest of the world, so Hux sank his fingers into those luxurious locks and tugged, a warning. Ren growled happily.
“Not here,” Hux whispered, and pulled at Ren’s hair again, this time a bit harder. “Will you behave now?” he asked, and Ren stepped back, holding onto his shoulders. His presence was somehow even more overwhelming with that short distance put between them, with Ren’s eyes raking over Hux’s features as if he was trying to memorise them.
“Let’s get your stuff,” Ren said, but didn’t make any move to gather them or let go of Hux. He had on a light grey suit with a crisp shirt, battle-ready and perfect, probably fresh from work. Hux tugged at his lapels.
“Do you have the rest of the day off?” he asked, and Ren hummed. The richness of his voice was simply indecent.
“Of course.” He pressed a fleeting kiss to Hux’s cheek, and turned to lift his luggage like it didn’t weigh anything. Hux was staring at the mean muscles shifting beneath Ren’s jacket when Ren asked him: “So which one is it?”
“Huh? Pardon, sorry.”
Ren turned to him, and there it was: that fucking smirk Hux wanted to kiss off his lips. He shuddered when he realised he could just go for it.
“Your place or my place?” Ren asked with the sort of playfulness Hux had learnt meant that he was nervous or desperate. They started making their way through the busy crowd, Hux digging his nails into his palm as Ren tailed behind him, carrying his deerskin suitcase and laptop bag for him like a good boyfriend. But he wasn’t that.
“I feel like a war bride,” Hux commented, beginning to panic.
Ren quickened his steps to catch up with him. “What?”
“Foreign women who married occupying soldiers were shipped to their husbands in bulk once the war was over,” Hux explained., Before he could say more, Ren interrupted:
“I know what a war bride is.”
Hux twitched his nose, the heat of embarrassment rushing to his face, burning the tips of his ears. “So what’s ‘what?’”
“Couldn’t hear you. Why are you a war bride?”
Hux realised he wasn’t ready to talk about his innermost feelings and anxieties amidst the clamour of people, but asking to discuss it later would have meant deciding what it’s going to be: a hotel or Ren’s apartment. He wasn’t ready to make up his mind yet, but they were nearing the parking lot rapidly, practically marching, and an agreement would have to be made—
“Wait,” Ren snapped, and Hux stopped dead in his tracks; it sounded so much like a command, and there was something weirdly comforting in that. He put his hand over his stomach, just briefly, and glanced at Ren over his shoulders, squinting against the harsh neon lights. “Are you okay?” Ren demanded, then corrected: “How are you?”
“It’s just all very sudden,” Hux said, voice somewhat broken.
Ren nodded, briskly, holding on to the luggage. “Have you managed to eat?”
“I brought you water and, uh, muffins. They’re in the car.”
“Muffins,” Hux repeated, and Ren shrugged.
“They were easily available. They’re yours, even if you choose to catch a taxi or whatever.”
“I thank thy generosity.”
“Ha-ha. I just want to take care of you,” Ren said, and Hux resumed walking, at a much easier pace.
“You don’t have to,” he noted when Ren fell into step.
“That’s why I said I wanted to. Will you let me? Anything you need.”
Hux glanced at him, then quickly away.
“Isn’t that a bit early,” he mumbled. It wasn’t a question, not quite.
“This might be all I ever get,” Ren said, earnest. “These exact minutes. I want to make the most of them, before you disappear. Pretend we have centuries to fill with memories.”
Hux swallowed around something in his throat. They’d reached the lift. Their reflection was distorted on the smudgy silver. There was something humiliating about their presence in their industrial, commonplace surroundings, like they didn’t belong here. The place swallowed up every word they said.
“It must be nice,” Hux commented, “living like you have time.”
“It isn’t, really,” Ren told him. Hux took in his ardent eyes, his sad lips, the way he was clutching the luggage, viciously protective, and how his shoulder sagged.
“Your place,” Hux said softly.
Kylo’s penthouse had the rustic charm of New York apartments with its bare brick walls giving way to the night skyline and the sharp scent of wood hanging in the air. The lights were soft and golden, illuminating a tasteful arrangement of custom-made furniture, metal statues, and exotic flowers. Hux walked to the windows, shoes in hand, tentative but anticipating.
Ren announced: “The city that doesn’t sleep.”
“It should be day,” Hux noted, peeping at the glimmering skyscrapers. Blue smoke drifted down and dissolved into the early evening. For a moment, he couldn’t recall the name of the body of water spread out below. Hudson. It looked like an entire ocean compared to the slim Thames.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Ren asked, putting Hux’s luggage away. “Coffee? Champagne?”
Hux licked his lips. He had devoured four muffins on their way here, mostly so he could avoid talking, although, to his surprise, the silence in the car hadn’t been awkward at all; it was the same companionable lull which now settled between them.
Hux waited a few beats, enjoying this, then responded, “I’m good, thank you. Let’s get to it, shall we?”
“Right,” Ren nodded, and pulled some stray locks behind his absurd ears, holding his hair in his fist like a ponytail. “Um. Make yourself comfortable.”
Hux looked around, noting the various sofas, armchairs, and whatnot, each temptingly comfy, and then he just turned back to Ren, who still lingered by the entrance.
“Where’s the bedroom?” he asked. Ren frowned, but his gaze was a broken sort of hopeful.
“Are you sure?”
“Told you. It’s the only thing I’m sure about when it comes to us. I want to…” What was the right word? Go to bed? Fuck you into oblivion? He finished with the part that mattered: “With you.”
Ren smiled at him, and it was heartbreaking how relieved and grateful he looked.
Hux sank to his knees, fully clothed apart from his jacket. Ren was sitting at the edge of the wide bed, looking like he was about to experience some sort of miracle, his eyes burning into Hux’s through the deep shadows of the room. Hux was afraid he’d disappear any minute; he placed his hands over Ren’s knees, keeping him in place, rubbing reverent little circles over them through the material of Ren’s trousers. He sat there like some sort of prince, accepting Hux’s pledge of adoration; they were conspiring royals.
“You’re beautiful,” Ren told him, and Hux scoffed.
Ren’s twisted his lips, offended. “Surely you must know it.”
“That’s why there’s no need to remind me,” Hux said, squeezing his knees to show him he was jesting. Ren eased, somewhat, and allowed Hux to unlace his shoes. “I’m handsome in a…British sort of way, one might say.”
“You’re not handsome,” Ren objected as Hux pulled his shoes off, “but you’re beautiful.”
“Fuck you, I guess.”
Ren grinned, wicked, and pressed his socked feet against Hux’s chest, kicking him back. Hux kept his balance and grabbed Ren’s leg, kissing it above the ankle.
“I like your mouth the best,” Ren said.
“Excited to get these lips wrapped around your big, fat cock?”
“There’s that,” Ren admitted. Hux noticed that he shifted in his seat, getting antsy. “I love their fullness and their pinkness. The curve of Cupid’s bow. Your sneers.” He poked Hux’s chin with his toes. “The angry twitches.” He sounded almost dreamy.
Hux shook his head. “Just get naked.”
“I was under the impression you were undressing me.”
“I’m a tad knackered; I need some collaboration. Come on. Your jacket.”
Ren arched an eyebrow, the bastard, and shrugged it off, letting it slide down his powerful shoulders, then tossed it away into a far corner, like he didn’t give a damn. Hux almost interrupted and told him to go pick it up, but he enjoyed the show too much. Ren got rid of his tie next, let it fall to the ground, and shook out his hair with a careless air. Something really should’ve been done with that hair; Ren’s way with it was just simply unfair.
“Your turn,” Ren announced.
“If you want something done right,” Hux mumbled, and signalled Ren to lean closer.
“I undress myself every day; it gets boring,” Ren complained. The fucking brat loomed over Hux as he popped a few buttons open, starting from the collar. “I prefer it with a partner - spices up things a little, yeah? I like this part of sex. The drumroll. I know you do, too. Look at you, you’re so happy you get to do this.”
Hux revealed the wide expanse of Ren’s firm chest, and very casually pinched both of his nipples. Ren yelped, and even jumped a little. Hux twisted the hard nubs, and noted, “mind your arrogance.”
“Fuck,” Ren breathed, and gasped as Hux leant in and, between his fingers, lapped at one abused nipple. Hux did it again, encouraged, loving how Ren’s muscles shifted under his palm, how easy it seemed to make such a strong man weak with want. He closed his eyes, savouring the salty taste of skin, listening to Ren’s shaky intake of air. He made his way farther down, kissing him over the ribs, the trembling abdomen, one kiss to the belt buckle. He made eye contact as he flicked his tongue out and licked quickly at Ren’s hard bulge. He didn’t mind the rough texture of Ren’s trousers for the moan it earned him. He cupped him in his hand, and squeezed very lightly. Ren’s head lolled back.
“Get naked,” Hux said, “or I’ll make you come in your pants.”
Ren ground down in answer. “Pushy slut,” he gritted. Hux rubbed him harder, heavy-lidded with arousal as he glanced up. Their eyes met, and Ren’s cock twitched in his hand, precome leaking through his clothes.
“You’re making a mess,” Hux whispered, swiping his fingers over the small, sticky spot. Ren groaned. “Is this what you wanted?”
“Clean it up,” Ren said. There was something manic about him, which shouldn’t have turned Hux on as much as it did. He made a considering sound, and licked at the stain as instructed. It was almost worshipful. Ren sank his fingers into his hair, and unclasped his belt.
“Oh, I’ve earned it?” Hux teased, chasing the taste with the tip of his tongue. “I’ve earned the privilege of sucking your filthy cock?”
“You have no idea how much I wanted it,” Ren rasped. Hux sat back on his heels to help him out of the ruined trousers; it felt like his biggest achievement ever, making Ren like this, and his heart soared with pride. He threw the discarded clothes on the bed.
“I can make an educated guess,” he noted, and ran his hands down Ren’s calves. “Sock garters, eh?”
“They’re very practical.”
“You can leave them on.” Hux narrowed his eyes at him. “For practical reasons.”
“Smartass,” Ren snorted. Hux wanted to prove just what a smartass he was with a practically witty retort, but his higher brain functions halted for a moment as Ren took his cock out from his white boxers. He was rock hard for him, the lovely tip glistening, and Hux reached for him without thinking.
“I never deleted your dickpic,” he blurted as he closed his dry fist around the swollen shaft. Ren’s eyes fluttered shut.
“I kept yours as well,” he confessed, breathless.
“As long as we both have blackmail material, it’s fine,” Hux said, grip tightening. He started pumping Ren’s cock without any finesse, fumbling and impatient. He had all but forgotten the elaborate scenarios he had dreamt up of their reunion. At this moment, an amateurish handjob seemed to be the be-all-end-all of their affair, merely because he could touch him, touch Ren and make him feel good, and for a few seconds, it seemed like his sole purpose in the world. He pulled a bit harder, and Ren’s hips bucked. He was so wonderfully responsive. He was everything Hux had ever hoped he would be.
“When were you last tested?” Hux asked, and Ren looked at him like he could no longer remember English, eyes hooded and heavy.
“What? Oh fuck— Went to a clinic shortly after you left? Wanted to be prepared. Fuck, just a little bit tighter—that’s right, fhu—”
Hux spat into his palm and readjusted his grip. His hand slid up and down easily, long fingers wrapped in a snug circle around Ren’s hot length.
“No adventures since then?”
Ren groaned. “No, of course not.”
Hux’s nose twitched, a nervous little tic. If Ren noticed, he didn’t make a comment on it.
“Will you come into my mouth then?”
“Yes— Yes, please, yes.”
Hux hummed, pleased. His heart was heavy, the evidence of Ren’s unquestioning and premature loyalty making him both triumphant and guilty. He pressed an apologetic kiss to the tip and parted his lips. Taking him in deeper, he thought that if he had access to Ren, anytime, anywhere, he wouldn’t want anybody else; not because of some outdated notion of fidelity or to conform to monogamy, just merely because Ren was enough. There was nothing more he could ask.
Ren’s cock filled his mouth, and it was so nice, once he got used to the stretch. Ren whispered “Jesus Christ, Armitage don’t you have gag reflex?” as he sank deeper, and Hux tried to look smug while having his throat fucked. Ren bottomed out and gasped, fingers sinking into Hux’s hair, pulling him impossibly closer. “You’re not real,” Ren breathed. “Look at you taking it so well, you’re a dream.”
Hux pulled back, letting Ren’s cock slip free and smear saliva over his cheek as it nearly slapped him.
“I consider it something of a speciality,” he croaked, and kissed the shaft before taking Ren back into his mouth.
The truth was that for some odd reason, he always found giving head soothing. He enjoyed how the tip rubbed against his palate and the monotony of bobbing his head, sucking and licking. It was, in fact, more comforting than arousing, at least for him, and he slowly went soft as Ren started nearing his orgasm. Maybe that was the best part: the selflessness of the act—charity was not something he was very familiar with, but he wanted to give this experience to Ren so bad.
Ren caressed Hux’s hollowed-out cheeks, feeling himself from the outside, and sighed. He was a wreck: hair sticking to his forehead, chest flushed.
“Gonna fill you up,” he hissed, and Hux moaned around his cock at that. Ren slid free and grabbed his slippery cock. He started stroking it, and Hux opened his mouth, tongue out, looking at him expectantly. “I knew you were a cumslut,” Ren told him, “I knew it the minute— shit!”
He came over Hux’s neck and chin, mostly; Hux could feel hot come dribbling down to his collar, painting his tie. He touched his waistcoat to check the damage, looking at Ren, and his fingers came back sticky and wet. He licked at them, and Ren groaned. “Shit,” he repeated. “Sorry.”
“I love a surprise ending.”
“I swear I can aim, normally—nevermind, c’mhere, I’m gonna lick you clean.”
“Wouldn’t you rather bring me a towel, please?” Hux asked as Ren reached for him. “Be a darling.”
“Oh, of course. Can I kiss you?”
Ren tucked himself back, and smiled at Hux, blissed. “Fuck, you look exquisite. Will be back in a minute. Think about what you’d have me do to you.” He kissed his forehead, which was somehow a bit absurd, and headed to the bathroom. Hux glanced after him, pleased to see that his walk was somewhat wobbly, then climbed over the bed. He was ecstatic yet drained. He clenched his jaw, appreciating the slow burn of exhaustion, then smeared some of the come which had managed to hit his lips. Filthy. He made Ren like this. He sucked on his fingers, tasting Ren’s seed like it was a delicacy. Ren caught him doing it as he returned with a wet towel, and grinned. “You’re insatiable.”
“Try me,” Hux retorted, spread out and boneless. Ren dropped down next to him, and started dabbing at his neck with the towel. He was being surprisingly tender. He ran it over Hux’s collar and frowned.
“I gotta get you a new shirt.”
“Bought two. Precaution.”
“We should’ve pre-negotiated our semi-clothed sex kink beforehand,” Ren noted, and tossed the towel aside. Hux rolled onto his side so he was facing him, and leant in for a kiss. Ren caught his lips with his, then licked his way in. He was a very good kisser, and it was becoming a problem. He started unbuttoning Hux’s waistcoat, and whispered into the kiss, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Likewise,” Hux mumbled, then yawned.
“You got sleepy from sucking dick?” Ren asked, astounded, and helped him out of the waistcoat. Hux let out a drowsy groan.
“I’ve flown eight hours to suck that dick.”
“Was it worth it?”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Clearly.” Ren gave him a quick peck. “Fuck, I can taste myself everywhere. Isn’t that evidence enough, huh? How hard you made me come?”
“Mission accomplished,” Hux congratulated himself. Ren untied his tie for him and pulled his shirt off, treating his clothes with much greater respect than his own. He tucked him in to the chin, and nuzzled close, warm, so warm. Hux clung to his neck, pulling his head to his chest.
“Don’t sleep with your lenses on,” Ren warned him.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Hux rebutted, then groaned. “Ugh, I can’t take them out without a, mm, mirror.”
Hux blinked at him as Ren delicately touched his left eye. It was weird. Somehow more intimate than the blowjob.
“You do have a few spare pairs on you, don’t you?” Ren murmured. Hux was in no position to roll his eyes, but he almost tried.
“Yes, and my glasses.”
“You wear glasses!” Ren beamed. He pulled back, and rummaged around on the nightstand. Hux curled up, pulling his knees to his chest. He considered getting rid of his slacks, but he didn’t have the mental power to solve the riddle of buckles and buttons.
“I can surprise you, after all.” He yawned again. Ren rolled him over and hugged him from behind. Hux wriggled around so his ass was pressed to Ren’s crotch. It was a considerably comfortable position. “Wake me in an hour?” he mumbled.
“Fuck me so well I won’t be able to sit on the plane?”
“Mm, more than okay.” Ren put his hand over his stomach and squeezed gently. Hux closed his eyes, letting Ren pet him, and fell asleep.
After what could have been ten minutes or forever and a day, he found himself wide awake. It was an unfortunate habit: his consciousness always came rushing back in, like someone just switched on a light inside his skull. He rose up onto to his elbows and peeked around. He was in Ren’s bedroom with its black and navy colour scheme, grand but cozy, the scents already strangely familiar. He waited a few beats for the usual anxiety waking up in a foreign place stirred up in him, but he was just content and still very, very jetlagged.
“Good morning,” Ren said. “Or happy one AM or whatever.”
Hux glanced at him from over his naked shoulder. Ren was sitting against the headboard with a tablet in his lap, sweatpants on, hair tousled; he looked heartbreakingly casual. Hux entertained the idea of waking up to this sight every odd morning, to have Ren’s smile shine like the sunrise. He firmly suppressed the thought.
“Getting some work done?” he muttered.
“Intimidating my employees relaxes me.”
“Anyone still up and working doesn’t deserve being intimidated.”
Ren shrugged his massive shoulders. Hux couldn’t help but stare, wishing he had his contacts on to appreciate a shirtless Ren in HD.
“It’s Mitaka, and he doesn’t count, he’s in Japan.”
Hux frowned, snapped out of his thirsty thoughts. “You know Mitaka?”
Ren’s grip on the tablet tightened. “Yeah. I can’t believe they made me meet him before I even got the chance to get to know you; what a tool.”
“I think he’s a hard-working and very promising COO,” Hux mused, rolling to his stomach. “Makes mean mince pies, besides.”
“Don’t you think he was the one talking shit about us?”
“Him? He’s the least gossipy person to ever walk on this Earth.”
“Huh.” Ren looked at the screen, and deleted back a few lines. “Maybe it was that intern kid Finn.”
“Now you’re just shooting in the dark.”
“I’ll overwhelm you with evidence later.” Ren set the tablet aside, and poked Hux with his toes. He groaned, and Ren poked him again. “How are you feeling?”
“Wrung-out,” Hux mumbled. “Getting irked. Do you really think that my intern—”
“No work-related topic is allowed beyond this point.” Ren drew a line in the air. Hux snorted, and got to his hands and knees with heroic effort. “I like where this is going,” Ren commented.
“This is going to the bathroom.” He managed to stand up, the blanket wrapped around him still. He struggled to make his walk to the door look seductive, and gave up halfway. “Get ready for when I get back,” he requested, somewhat defeated. “You didn’t wake me up on time, we shall make up for the loss.”
“You were too cute.”
“I was what?”
Ren rubbed his neck, and glanced away. “You wrinkled your nose when I tried to wake you. I didn’t know anyone could, uh, do that. While asleep. Looking so offended and displeased.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of a resting bitch face?” Hux deadpanned, and left the room with a swish of his blanket cape.
He put the blanket on a chair, wondering briefly why did Ren’s bathroom had a cushioned chair in it, but then again, it also had a fur rug and a small chandelier. He unbuckled his belt, letting his creased slacks drop to the ground, and stepped out of them with a negligent elegance. He had sock garters on, yet another interest he had in common with Ren, and sheer black briefs he couldn’t wait to let him discover. He relieved himself, washed his hands and then his face and neck. While he was at it, he brushed his teeth with the toothbrush Ren had prepared for him. He didn’t expect much from getting fucked at this ungodly hour, but he could count on Ren trying his best. The man was clearly a perfectionist.
He all but ran back to the bedroom, slowing his steps at the last minute so he could just catwalk in. He got as far as the threshold.
“I see you took preparing yourself quite seriously,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Ren’s sweatpants were lying on the ground, and he was storking himself lazily, hooded eyes blazing as he grinned at Hux. It was a good look on him.
“Stay right where you are,” he asked. “God, this is just how I’ve wanted it— While you were away, I’d just, just do this, touch myself and imagine you’d walk in, look at me and see how much power you have over me. Are you real? Are you really here?”
“I’ve been away for, like, five minutes,” Hux sighed, but he noticed he sounded more fond than angry. He leant on the doorframe, legs crossed, letting his eyes rake over Ren. “How does the fantasy continue?”
“You tell me you’ve missed me,” Ren panted. “You tell me you couldn’t wait to come back to me—”
“I did miss you,” Hux admitted. Ren bit his lips, swallowing back a whimper. It was such a thrill to indulge him, to see how easy it was to make him like this. Hux tried to keep his composure for the sake of the game, but his body betrayed him. His briefs didn’t leave much to the imagination.
“You’re getting hard,” Ren noted. “I don’t even have to put my hands on you.”
“Is this also part of the fantasy, or is this in connection with my current state?”
Ren’s hips jerked. “Both. That’s the best part. That’s the— How could you wait so long?”
Hux wet his lips, and looked at him with something akin to sadness. “What’s the answer I give you when you imagine this conservation?”
“I want to hear what you really have to say.”
“I couldn’t,” Hux confessed, tone level. “It killed me, but I did it anyway.”
Ren’s lips trembled, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Hux snapped: “I swear to God if you come now —!”
“No, I— ah fuck, c’mhere—”
Hux sighed, but obliged him, walking up to the bed as Ren drew his hand back. His throbbing cock was lying on his stomach, and Hux pondered how was he expected not to sit directly on it and ride it mercilessly, how was he supposed to resist. Ren grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, looking up at him with wonder. “Is this for me?” he asked, running his thumb over the briefs. Hux shuddered.
“Consider it a teaser. It’s far from the fanciest pair I own.”
“You’re such a perfect little cockslut,” Ren purred. Hux arched an eyebrow.
“Am I expected to deny it?”
“No, you take pride in it. You figured it out early, didn’t you?” He ran his hands up Hux’s torso. “How to get exactly what you want, just with this. You’ve been clever about it. What do they say? ‘Everything is about sex except sex—’”
“‘Sex is about power,’” Hux finished for him, and settled over his lap. Ren kissed his chest, and grabbed the briefs.
“Can I tear these off of you?”
“What have they done to you?”
“They’re in the way,” Ren growled, and tugged at them. “Fuck, I want to just push right in—”
“Please don’t do that to my anus.”
“No, I won’t, I’ll be good to you.”
“My anus thanks you.”
“Don’t use the word anus in my bedroom ever again.”
“Anus,” Hux mouthed, and Ren fucking ripped his briefs in half. Hux threw his head back, laughing in delight, laughing wild, and yelped when Ren smacked his ass.
“Fetch us the lube,” Ren grunted, and thank everything it wasn’t far away. The label said Invade Deep Fisting Cream Master Series in block letters, and Hux peered at Ren and held it up as incriminating evidence.
“No,” he said. Not yet, he added in his head.
“It’s not that,” Ren explained, brows furrowed. “It’s a first time trick. I’m big and— well, yeah, I’m told it can be overwhelming. It has a desensitising formula so it won’t hurt, but you can still feel me.”
“How considerate,” Hux said, and screw the lid off. “Maybe next time I’ll just have a plug up my arse. Would you like that?”
“Oh yeah. Do you often—?”
“I love my arse being stuffed, so the answer is yes.” He offered the container to Ren, who scooped up a generous amount, and looked at Hux as he reached behind him. A thick finger easily slid in, like it was nothing, and Hux said, “Oh .”
“Can we get messy?” Ren asked him, and Hux nodded. He wrapped his arms around Ren’s neck to better angle himself, sticking his arse out and pressing his cock to Ren’s hard abdomen. It was a curse they fit so well together. He knew neither of them would last very long. Ren grabbed two handfuls of his cheeks, and spread them, sliding the tip of both index fingers in. Hux cried out, and arched his back.
“Slower?” Ren whispered.
“Just...careful,” Hux panted.
Ren smirked, and pressed a kiss under his collarbone, then his lush lips brushed over his nipples, lavishing them with attention, sucking at one, then the other as his hands worked. Hux was starting to feel a pleasant numbness as Ren stretched him open, cautious as requested. Hux couldn’t help but start moving his hips, rubbing against Ren, gasping for air and moaning, unabashed.
Ren pried his cheeks apart, and Hux felt his cock probing at the entrance. He pulled Ren’s hair in encouragement.
“Ready?” Ren asked him nevertheless. “Just a few inches.”
“Give it to me,” Hux urged, and Ren dipped his cock in. Hux almost screamed. It was new - feeling the pressure and the stretch, the wetness, but hardly anything else.
“Jesus fucking hell,” he panted.
“I think we’ll be good,” Ren smirked, and pulled out. “Have you ever been fucked mid-air?”
“As in on a plane?” The answer was yes.
“Held up or suspended while someone hammered into you.”
“Do sexswings count?”
“Not in this context,” Ren said, but he looked impressed.
Hux tried to catch his breath, and confessed: “Every so often, yes. If you count the sexswing, it’s very often. I have one in my flat.”
“Gotta give me a house tour one of these days,” Ren said, and manhandled Hux onto the mattress. He climbed over him and leant in for a kiss, and Hux just thought yes, anything. Ren got a fat pillow, and put it under Hux’s waist. “Cozy?”
“Hold onto something.” Ren stood up on his knees, and hoisted Hux’s legs over one shoulder, pressing his ankles together with his hand. “How’s this?”
“Wouldn’t you rather have me spread my legs?”
“It’s better if your thighs touch.”
“Prove it,” Hux smiled at him, and fisted the sheet. Ren slipped in - slowly, inch by inch, and Hux’s lips parted for a soft gasp. The position was somewhat demanding, but he could already feel the benefits, especially as Ren’s cock brushed past his prostate. “Start moving,” he pleaded. Ren rolled his hips, making Hux cry out.
“This is how you deserve to be fucked,” Ren said, pressing a kiss to his ankle. “Deeply. Thoroughly. Properly.” He punctuated this with a sharp thrust, and Hux though he’d just black out. It was a bit like being drunk, getting intoxicated on the richest wine. He was still light-headed by his long travel, muscles sore, body tense, but as they rocked together, a numb sort of pleasure washed over him, easing him into bliss. He was never this calm and relaxed during sex; it was almost like a religious experience. Like meditation taking a rather unexpected turn.
“God, you feel amazing,” Ren praised.
Hux hummed contently, and started stroking his leaking cock, up and down as Ren watched. He looked mesmerised. It made Hux feel treasured and validated, which was something he always craved but never expected to get from such a simple action as getting fucked.
His orgasm built up gradually, first spreading over his groin and then shaking his whole body as he spilled over his belly. He didn’t even make a sound; it was just a sharp intake of air and then a soft exhale.
“That’s it,” Ren panted, speeding up the rhythm. Hux stretched his arms out, languid, and let his head loll to his shoulder. Ren huffed. “Look at you, already getting lazy. I’m still inside.”
“Then hurry up,” Hux shot back. Provoking Ren quickly became his new favourite activity, beside fucking Ren. The man pulled him closer, filling him completely, making Hux’s spent cock twitch. He gasped, and squeezed around Ren.
“Just when I thought you couldn’t be tighter,” Ren rasped.
“Are you complaining?”
“That’s what I thought,” Hux nodded, and, feeling generous, continued to squeeze and release, and managed to make Ren come very soon, milking him ‘til the last drop. Ren pulled out and collapsed on top of him, almost crushing him to death.
Not like Hux minded.
He felt very accomplished for managing to get to the bathroom amidst all the kisses and cuddling and clinging. They filled the porcelain tub to the brim, and Ren even got them two glasses of champagne, which he artfully placed on a tray within arm’s reach. Hux gulped down his share while Ren washed his back, and let him soap him up everywhere.
Then they were just snuggling in the tub, Hux nestled between Ren’s spread legs, resting his head on his shoulder. Ren was caressing his hair, which was loose and tangled from sex. And Hux was panicking. He felt like the moment was collapsing around him, that with every passing second, he was losing something, first the warmth of the scented water, then Ren’s reassuring presence, his fingers playing with the wet strands of his hair, and he just couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“What’s next?” he said, tone surprisingly even.
“I’ll probably fall asleep, but I can offer my body as a pillow,” Ren muttered.
“I mean after.”
“Mm. Gotta go to work in…five hours, but I’m totally down to breakfast in bed and driving you to the airport to say my sloppy goodbyes, and after that ,” he raised his voice when Hux opened his mouth to interrupt, “after that, we’ll just figure it out. I can’t tell you what my future self will want, only thing I know is that one-month-from-now Kylo will still want you.”
“That’s not good enough,” Hux told him. He felt Ren tense, so he moved closer, rubbing his cheek against his neck. “I’m in deep shit for having come here. I can’t even imagine what’ll be left of the company when I get back.”
Ren snorted. “I’m pretty sure the First Order didn’t collapse overnight.”
“It might have,” Hux insisted. “For all our power and influence, we’re not like the Empire was, not yet. I need to do my job. I can’t just fuck off every so often. Next time I won’t be able to drop everything for you, do you understand?”
“But I never asked that,” Ren objected, cupping his face. “We’re co-executives, I’m pretty sure we can work together.”
“I need to be in England,” Hux said, hating how weak he sounded. It wasn’t just the Order, it was his dying dad and his stubborn mentor who was unable to take her recent disability seriously, overtaxing herself still, and it was his cat who always got so confused and miserable in cat hotels. Hux hated leaving her there. It was always like this, for as long as he could remember, all the crushing responsibilities and—
“Then I’ll go to England,” Ren said. “Help you out.”
Hux took a shaky breath. He clasped Ren’s arm, pulling it tight across his chest. “You can’t,” he said. “Not very often, anyway.”
“As often as you need me,” Ren promised. Hux pressed back against him.
“We have to be smart about it,” he said, watching their entangled feet under the water. How silly it was to allow this to happen. But fuck that. “We can’t attract attention. We must keep it a secret. We must make a plan.”
“You can’t plan for things which haven’t happened yet.”
“Yes, you can. That’s the definition of planning.”
“I mean, we might get away with it,” Ren told him. “Seeing each other every two weeks or— okay, maybe every month, but...fuck, I see the risks, okay? But it’ll work because we’ll make it work, between you and me and between London and New York City. It won’t be easy but we’ll do it because we—are very fond of each other.”
Hux looked up at him. From this angle, he couldn’t see much. His lips brushed against Ren’s ear as he asked, “Do you think you’re in love with me?”
“Yes,” Ren said with much more confidence than Hux expected.
“There’s no why, that’s what love is about. It happens. It happens before you can find a reason or an explanation for it. Does it scare you?”
“The idea of love, or you saying that you love me?”
Hux considered it, then turned away, taking in their surroundings, the clean marble surfaces and the beautiful orchids.
“They don’t scare me,” he said. “I just feel sorry for you. Wearing your heart on your sleeve means others will know where to stick their pins.”
“Pretending you don’t have a heart isn’t any better. What happens when they believe you?”
Hux was silent for a long moment. “I couldn’t trick you,” he replied, “could I?”
Four in the morning found Hux still awake, restless and energetic in Ren’s embrace. After some tossing and turning, he slipped free, heart heavy as he looked back at Ren. He couldn’t resist brushing his hair with his fingers, rearranging the perfect locks. He touched his lips, the softest caress, then pulled his hand back.
He walked into the living room naked as the day he was born, basking in the lavender light of the awakening city. He felt safe here, the floor creaking under his bare feet. He got his glasses and his Macbook from his laptop bag, and curled up in a leather chair facing the river. He imagined Ren finding him like this in the morning, and it sent a thrill up his spine. He was starting to feel a bit sore from fucking, in the best way. Admiring the glinting buildings as the Macbook powered on he could believe that he might be able to stay.
He opened his overflowing inbox, sorting through the messages, most of them forwarded to him by secretary Thanisson as instructed. There was one which made him stop.
I’m at your office. I’m told you’re not here. How curious. - S.L. Snoke
It made his blood run cold.