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Sometimes- a lot of the time, if he was going to be honest with himself- Ward wished for more bad guys.

But no, not today. They were transporting hazardous cargo, yes, and Fitz and Simmons were poking and prodding it, but miraculously, improbably, nothing had gone wrong yet. No one had even come anywhere close to dying from the strange tech; Ward didn't like it when they did, because he didn't like his teammates being in danger at all and was honestly better with things he could punch in the face, but it would have given him something to do.

Instead he was playing chess with Skye, again. He'd suggested it, wanting to prove a point about strategic decisions and the value of patience; instead he found out she cheated even more than he did and was just plain better at it, both of which were profoundly annoying.

He looked up from the board to see Coulson coming toward them; if Ward's heartbeat quickened a little, that was between him and God.

"ETA is in two hours," Coulson told them. "Overnight's canceled, new orders. We drop the package, fuel up, and head to Wakanda."

"What happened to your teeth?" Skye asked. "They're all black."

Coulson frowned, touching his fingers to his teeth and looking at them. "That's what I get for sucking on a fountain pen," he said. "I couldn't get the ink started when I changed the cartridge, so I had to suck on it to get it flowing," he added, at Skye's confused expression. Skye grinned, and Ward kicked her under the table before she could make some dirty remark. Coulson sighed. "And of course Fitzsimmons let me leave without telling me. Excuse me."

Ward watched as Coulson left, mostly so he could delay the moment where Skye would start crowing. When he turned back, she was leaning across the table towards him, looking excited.

"So," Skye said. "Does he get you flowing?"

"How did I know you were going to make something sexual out of that?" Ward said.

"It wasn't exactly hard," she pointed out. "A fountain pen doesn't make for a very subtle metaphor."

"He wasn't being metaphorical," Ward said. "Sometimes a fountain pen is just a fountain pen."

"And sometimes it's a penis," Skye returned. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm not going to answer your question," he told her.

"Is that a no?" she asked. "That's kind of sad."

"Why is it sad?" Ward said, frowning.

"Why is what sad?" Skye said.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're really exhausting?" he asked.

"Only, like, all the time," she said.

"Look, anything Coulson does or does not do to me is his decision," Ward said, lowering his voice.

"That's a funny way to put it," Skye said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Can we just drop it?" Ward said, keeping his panic at having said the wrong thing on the inside.

"Fine," Skye said. She reached out, moving one of her pieces. "Checkmate."

His brow furrowed. "That can't be right." He looked at her suspiciously. "Have you been stealing pieces again?"

"I thought you appreciated subterfuge," she said. "But no. You just suck at this."

He pursed his lips, studying the board before he reluctantly tipped over his king. "Set it up again."

"I think you like coming out on the bottom," she said lightly, collecting the pieces.

"Set it up," Ward said firmly. She didn't mean anything by that. Of course she didn't. He was not even going to consider it.

--

It was a few nights later when Ward padded towards the bunks, doing his best to stay out of sight. It wasn't precisely like any other mission he'd been on, but it was easier when he thought about it that way, though, a simple- relatively simple- objective from his handler, something he could plan for and not freak out about too badly.

Can you hear us? Melinda asked, in his earpiece.

Both of us? Coulson added.

"Yes, ma'am," Ward said quietly. "Yes, sir."

Tell me what's happening, Melinda said.

This had in no way been Ward's idea. Ward was perfectly happy- Ward was more than happy- with the way that things with Coulson and Melinda were going. It still weirded him out when he thought about it for too long, but it felt good, so he was going with it. He thought that everything was going fine, that everyone was satisfied.

Apparently he was wrong about that.

"Fitzsimmons is still in the lab," Ward said. "If I know them, they probably won't leave for another two hours at least." He flattened his back to the wall, looking over his shoulder towards the bunks. "Skye's in her room. Door's open. She's got her music on too loud, listening to-" He shook his head. "Somebody who does pop music. I don't know."

Walk closer, Melinda told him.

Katy Perry, Coulson said, as Ward approached Skye's bunk. There was a pause, and Ward frowned. What? You have to broaden your musical horizons.

Suddenly, the music shut off, and Skye leaned out of her bunk, looking around. "I'm made," Ward hissed.

"Ward?" Skye called. "Who are you talking to?"

"Just myself," Ward said, walking towards her and giving her a winning smile. "You caught me."

"Uh huh," she said, looking at him as if she didn't buy it. "What's got you skulking around so late?"

Ask her if she wants to have sex, Melinda ordered.

You're going to make him do it like that? Coulson said. He doesn't even get 'Nice shoes, wanna fuck?'

See if she's wearing shoes, Melinda said.

Skye looked at him curiously. "Do you need something? You look weird. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Ward said, forcing another smile; the way she lifted her eyebrow said he wasn't helping his case. "Listen, I was wondering-" He didn't quite have a follow-up to that statement, so he just let it hang.

You're tanking, Coulson said. Better come up with something fast.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to, possibly-" Ward started.

"Are you trying to ask me to prom, Ward?" Skye said.

"Not quite," Ward said.

"Then spit it out," she told him.

This was all getting him precisely nowhere. He took a deep breath. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

"Is this a hypothetical question, or are you on a mission to fuck the whole plane?" Skye asked; the fact she hadn't slapped him yet was a good sign.

"It's not a mission, exactly," Ward hedged.

Stop lying, Grant, Melinda said.

"Where is everybody?" Skye said, sticking her head out of her door and looking around. "Is this an elaborate prank, or did you really come here to get some?"

"Are we doing this or what?" Ward said, annoyed.

"Are May and Coulson gonna kill me?" she asked.

"They don't care," he replied. He heard Melinda laugh.

"Did you bring condoms?" Skye said.

"Never leave home without it," he said.

"Then get in here," Skye said. She stowed her laptop, crawling into the bed. By the time Ward was inside and had the door shut, she was already shimmying out of her jeans.

"You don't waste time, do you?" Ward said, just looking at her for a moment.

"You're the one who showed up at my door and just asked if I wanted to fuck," she pointed out, taking her shirt off and climbing into his lap. She kissed him hard, lacing her fingers into his hair. "So let's fuck."

"This was way easier than I expected," Ward said, half to Skye and half to Melinda and Coulson.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Skye said, shrugging.

Ward frowned. "I don't think that it was-"

She kissed him again before shoving him down onto the mattress. "Stop talking."

Be a good boy and do everything she says, Coulson said. If you're good enough, you might just get a reward.

Hearing that actually helped a whole lot, though Ward couldn't put his finger on why. It wasn't the sleeping-with-Skye part of this plan that made him uncomfortable; it was the sense that he was unwanted, that they were through with him, bored enough to give him away. If he could focus on being good instead, the idea that he was doing this on orders, for Coulson and Melinda's entertainment, that suddenly made everything a lot easier.

Skye had them both naked in record time. She stretched herself out over him, her breasts brushing against his chest as she bent down to kiss him; he was several inches taller, but she didn't seem to see that as much of a problem. She pulled away, grinning at him, and he let his head fall back as she made her way down his body, kissing his stomach playfully as she went.

He gasped as she took his cock in her mouth. It had been so long, because it wasn't like Melinda and Coulson were going to do it for him. It took everything he had not to put his hand on the back of her head and hold her in place; he just knew that she'd kick him out if he did.

Tell me what's happening, Melinda said.

"Oh god," Ward moaned, trying to find something to say that wouldn't be totally weird or a dead giveaway. "Oh god, suck me."

Lucky, Coulson said. Is it good?

"Yes," Ward said, groaning; it wasn't hard, considering the things she was doing to him with her tongue.

Skye pulled away, looking up at him. "You are way louder than I anticipated," she said.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked.

She smirked. "Nope," she said, taking his cock down again.

Coulson and Melinda mercifully left him alone after that, at least for a while. Skye's mouth was perfect, and it was criminal for anything to interrupt his enjoyment of it. What was worse, though, was when she stopped.

She rolled her eyes, looking sort of fond; apparently he wasn't doing a very good job at hiding his dismay. "I'm not done with you yet," she said, crawling back up his body and kissing him. She wrapped her hand around his cock, stroking it just enough to tease. "Not by a longshot."

Skye climbed off him, reaching for his pants and digging around in the pocket before she found the strip of condoms. She held them up, giving him a look. "You're certainly ambitious."

"I just grabbed what I had," he said defensively.

"You should have said something about wanting to do it all night," Skye said. "It would have been hotter."

"Trust me," he said. "You're not going to be disappointed."

She better not be, Melinda said.

Skye smirked, tearing a condom off the strip and flicking it at him. "Put your money where your mouth is."

Ward did his damnedest, but it didn't really seem like Skye needed a whole lot of help or encouragement. She held him down, putting her hands on his shoulders as she fucked herself on his cock, using him like he was her toy, just something convenient to get off with; it would have been kind of infuriating if it wasn't so hot.

Don't stop, Coulson said. Don't you dare stop. She's done with you when she's done with you. You don't get a choice.

Ward bit his lip and held on.

He couldn't help the cry he made when she came; it was too good, too hot, and none of it was for him, not when he wouldn't dare come without explicit permission.

"Quiet," she said, putting her hand over his mouth, though it was a little late for that. "You'll bring everyone running." He groaned as she ground down hard against him. "And I'm not finished with you yet."

That was just about the understatement of the year, as it turned out. Ward had never actually seen the appeal of marathon sex. It always seemed like a thing you did until everyone was satisfied, then you took a nap or something and came back to it later. Skye proved its worth to him very clearly; she just didn't stop, long and languid sometimes, faster and faster as she got closer and closer- she didn't seem to be particularly bothered about making him come, but she certainly didn't see a problem getting herself off. Ward did what he could, trying to make it as good for her as possible, though he felt distinctly like he was playing catch-up.

Just about the time he thought Coulson and Melinda had gone out for coffee, there they were in his ear again, saying things like don't come and good boy, telling him how well he was doing in one breath and threatening him in the next. He honestly had no idea how he was doing it, not at all, not with the three of them torturing him like this. He couldn't decide if he never wanted it to stop or if he never wanted to experience it again; it seemed like a moot point, though, because they were definitely going to kill him before this was all over.

Who knows how long later, he was just starting to get a little of his own back, but only because Skye was wearing herself out. He took advantage, flipping them over, kissing her as he moved slowly in and out, half teasing and half so they could both have a little bit of a break.

Skye suddenly pulled away, breaking the kiss. "Stop for a second," she said, batting at his arm.

"What's wrong?" Ward panted, bracing himself on his hands and looking down at her.

"You tell me," she said, sounding frustrated.

"What?" he panted.

"Believe me, I'm having a great time," she assured him, "but are you planning on coming or not?"

Tell her no, Melinda said.

"No," Ward said, his hand fisting in the bedsheets; he'd been hoping they'd give him this one.

Skye gave him a look. "Why not?"

Tell her why, Grant, Melinda ordered.

"I can't," he said.

Not good enough, Coulson said. Tell her why you can't.

"I'm not allowed," he said, through clenched teeth.

"Do you have a mic on that thing?" Skye asked.

"What?" Ward said, eyes widening in surprise.

"Hey, AC," Skye said, a little louder. "It is him, right? Or is it Melinda? No, wait, it has to be both of them."

"I hate you," Ward said.

That's not very nice, Coulson said. Apologize to the lady.

"I'm sorry," Ward grumbled.

Skye punched him in the arm, grinning. "You're kinky as fuck, aren't you?"

"You're the one who went along with it," Ward said, making to pull away from her. "Apparently."

She grabbed his ass, holding him still. "Make him give me one more before I send him back? Please?"

What do you think? Coulson said.

"Sir, I-" Ward started.

No one asked you, Melinda snapped. Make her come. Make it good.

"Yes, ma'am," Ward said, because what was the point in hiding it now?

Skye laughed, putting her arms around his neck as he started to slide into her again. "Come on," she told him. "I promise I'll go easy on you."

"That's a lie," he told her, and she didn't even bother to contradict him.

--

Neither Melinda, Coulson, nor Skye seemed to have minded when he fell asleep in Skye's bunk. He wasn't entirely sure how he did it, not when he was still aching to come; but then suddenly he was waking up, Skye curled up by his side.

He sat up, trying to be quiet as he grabbed his clothes and threw them on; it didn't seem to matter, not when Skye was so dead to the world. She made an indistinct murmuring sound as he slid the door open, but that was it. He stepped out of her bunk, turning around to carefully slide the door shut again. He turned back around to leave-

And almost ran directly into Simmons.

"Oh," she said, looking shocked. "Hello."

"Hey," Ward said, trying to resist the urge to flee.

"I won't say anything," Simmons assured him. "What you do is your business."

Ward raised his eyebrow at her.

"Alright, so it's everybody's business," she said. "In fairness, we don't have much to do in our free time."

"I'm going to walk away now," Ward said. "This conversation never happened."

"What conversation?" Simmons said.

"Right," he said. "See you later." As he walked away, Ward mentally calculated how long it was going to take before this turned into a total mess.

Really, it just depended on when Fitz woke up.