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snow-viet: hey does anyone else have this problem where like... your tank just self destructs?
snow-viet: like not because you pressed the button
snow-viet: you just hit a wall and then Bam
Rey maneuvers around the little blue tank with difficulty (god, why is this person typing in a tunnel, don't they know it's going to be damn near impossible to tread past them up the ramp??) and shoots the enemy player ahead of them before it can kill either the blue tank or Rey's white-and-red one. Eventually, the thin blue tank continues on its path. Rey slowly follows it (managing to shoot out six people with her turret in the process) but it doesn't get far before dying again. Not due to self-destruction, Rey notes, watching the little notification pop up on the right.
chromeles-s sniped snow-viet
Rey manages to find the sniper and gets two shots in before they kill her. Fuck.
Meanwhile, someone's unfortunately encouraged snow-viet and their little blue tank with a short 'lol' in the chatbox.
snow-viet: seriously like what did i do to deserve this
Rey can't find snow-viet but is sure they're blocking a tunnel again. She respawns near enough to the other team that tunnels fortunately won't be an issue (damn this map), but she's sniped again. By someone named redeye, apparently. Rey taps the Tab key to check her score and finds that redeye and chromeles-s are hogging the 1st and 2nd place on the other team. Which is, of course, winning.
Rey checks the chat to see if anyone's considered a team effort to storm the bridge and take down the snipers there. If they come from both sides--
snow-viet: i wake up every morning and pray to my Lord and Savior, Harambe
snow-viet: and this is what i get
snow-viet: my game glitching
eyelo: its revenge from god for playing a murder game. suck it
Rey can't imagine what tunnel eyelo must be clogging with their nonsense. Fortunately, eyelo appears to be an enemy tank, and is therefore mostly irrelevant. How is anyone taking the time to type this nonsense, though? God, if she weren't ten minutes deep into this fifteen minute match and in 3rd place on her team's scoreboard, Rey would quit this match entirely and find another one. She has no use for teammates who type instead of playing. It’s only a step above being AFK, which is at least generally unavoidable.
As it is, Rey sends a PM to snow-viet.
commandersunshine > snow-viet: stop talking and start shooting
snow-viet > commandersunshine: i'm only talking when i die
snow-viet > commandersunshine: which is a lot, ig
Rey can't imagine the dying is wholly separate from the time it takes to pull up the chat window, type in a full response, and hit send.
commandersunshine>snow-viet: regardless, we need help on the bridge
She's slightly pissed at herself for taking out the time to type out 'regardless'. As it is, she gets shot easily by some tank she can't even see. From behind, of course. Rey prays she'll respawn near the bridge (where, as far as she can see, six of her teammates are already heading) and nervously taps her spacebar, hoping to get someone before she's killed.
Unfortunately, someone's camping in the spot where she spawns, and they shoot her as soon as her tank materializes before them. Rey curses under her breath and glances at her messages.
snow-viet>commandersunshine: and where. would that be
snow-viet>commandersunshine: if that's where you died a second ago i am There sir
Rey can't tell whether she's feeling rage or relief. At least now they might be able to cut the opposing team's lead (around 20 kills) down a bit. Not that one ditzy blue tank is going to do a lot.
Surprisingly, snow-viet is packing a very high upgrade of the Healer-Killer turret, which is extremely helpful. Rey can't use it herself (no patience for the stealth necessary to get in close enough range to kill people with it, absolutely no desire to play support), but she admires the skill with which snow-viet manages to maneuver their little tank through the others. When they're actually focusing, they're an undeniable asset to the team. Rey even gets a chance to fix her bun for a moment as they wait for the opposing team to recover from their little barrage. A good healer can make a team unstoppable.
In fact, Rey feels light enough as she shoots that she even sends another message to snow-viet: that’s ma’am to you.
Unfortunately, snow-viet doesn't have the skill (or the patience, quite possibly) to stay behind the other tanks, and they get cut down extremely quickly. Rey wonders if they've gotten distracted by some other window, because they seem again unable to hold their usefulness (or their health bar) up for long.
They die several times in a row, and then Rey doesn't see them anymore. She has a sneaking suspicion that they're moving back to their keyboard.
snow-viet: in case y'all are wondering like "did snow-viet stop dying? i haven't heard from them in a while"
snow-viet: absolutely not i just ran out of jokes
Rey makes a very risky move in leaning her tank over the side of the bridge. There are about four tanks that might possibly have not known snow-viet's whereabouts while they were traversing the bridge. Four tanks, none of which needed this status update.
Rey does not actually have the words to express her feelings towards snow-viet at this moment.
Fortunately, snow-viet saves their reputation by sending a message to Rey right at this moment. They do type quickly, at least limiting the wasted time.
snow-viet>commandersunshine: sorry. Ma’am ;)
Winky emoji. Winky emoji, winky emoji-- what does a winky emoji mean in this context. Is this a man, thereby making him the spawn of the devil? Is this a woman, actually flirting with Rey’s sorry gaymer ass? Is this a nonbinary person daring to grace Rey with a smile? What does this mean??
On some level, Rey knows that she's wasting time herself by spending all this brainpower on snow-viet, but she has never in her life met a more frustrating person to play with. God, they're rivaling that sniper that had a near-invisible tank skin equipped and refused to work with the team. They're on the level of Finn, who tried to play the game once and quit his first match because he felt queasy. They're surpassing Rey's ex-girlfriend, who would switch back and forth between different hulls mid-battle. They're absolutely infuriating.
...To the point of interest.
When the match ends (Rey's team having lost by 30 kills), Rey sneaks over to check snow-viet's player profile. They've chosen a round photo of a white rose as their profile image, and it works with the ugly constraints set by the game's system. Rey has to admire the skill needed to manipulate images into the oddly-shaped spheres used as avatars by the game.
gender: female
pronouns: she/her
age: old enough to be tiana's wife, which is all that matters
bio: disney lesbian * healer-killer * alexandrovsk map = beehive full of snipers
Rey makes a silent note of this information and looks up at the ding of an incoming friend request.
Of course, it's snow-viet.
Rey hovers over the decline button, shifts over to the accept button, practically runs over to the decline button again, and eventually just closes the window without making a decision.
Unfortunately for Poe and Finn, this incident describes the most exciting part of Rey's spring break, and it haunts her long enough that she ends up discussing it with them at the counter of an out-of-the-way cafe in their town on the last day before school begins again. It's been a rather long week, full of running into snow-viet on different maps and somehow being beaten by her every time she's on the opposing team. Rey's spent the week trying to sharpen her ears enough to hear snow-viet approaching, but somehow she still manages to get zapped to bits by that little blue tank from behind. Every single time.
"What did their profile say?" Poe asks, sipping his latte in a suspiciously nonchalant manner. Somehow he managed to wheedle the barista (some short pretty person wearing a stained apron) into getting him pumpkin spice at this time of year.
"Disney lesbian," Rey says, and Finn snorts over his croissant.
"God, relatable," he says. "But Star Wars, and bi, and--"
"--not relatable at all, got it," Poe says, elbowing him just hard enough to shove but not enough to spill any drinks. Poe is oddly adept at these sorts of things; Rey would think it quite strange if she didn't know how badly he was trying to impress Finn. Rey waits patiently, sipping her espresso. She needs the energy today, to deal with Disney lesbians who keep killing her and Star Wars bisexuals who can't catch a hint even after the person sending the hint gets into a fight with them about who has the better pick-up lines that ends in the aforementioned Star Wars bisexuals winning at 'if kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard' and sending their opponent spinning away into the next room like a blushing top. Though, of course, none of that is Rey's business.
"'Disney lesbian'," Finn muses, once they've all calmed down.
"Mhm," Rey says, not really understanding what he's getting at.
"Lesbian," Finn repeats.
"Mh-- absolutely not." Rey clunks down her glass and shoots her gaze over to the barista, who she swears is listening in on their conversation. There's no one else within earshot, anyway.
"You're a girl," Finn notes. "And you're single."
"And desperate," Poe adds. "Sorry, was that you I saw hanging a gay pride flag outside your window, or was that another desperate bisexual?"
"That was me," Finn says. "So, yeah, another desperate bisexual."
"Oh. Sorry. Point still stands, though."
Rey puts her head in her hands. What they're suggesting is deranged not because she doesn't like women, and especially not because she doesn't like gamer women (god, what Rey would give for a girlfriend who could manage a tank on the Madness map), and especially not because Rey has no interest in snow-viet (nothing more attractive than a girl who can murder you within a minute of the game’s starting) but because Rey is not starting a relationship with a quote unquote "Disney lesbian" somewhere out there in the world. Especially one with a suspiciously Russian-sounding username.
When Rey points this out, both Poe and Finn sort of bug their eyes out at her.
"What now?" she says, because she's sort of used to them staring at her like that, especially after she gets into one of her rants on the differences between hulls, but this is not the time for odd glances. This is not a social situation that requires bugged out eyes.
"Russian-sounding?" Finn asks.
"Yeah, sorry, what?" Poe echoes from behind him. The barista, beyond both of them, is methodically tossing used cups in the garbage. They're staying awfully close to Rey, Finn, and Poe's side of the counter, though.
"Well, yes," Rey says, because she doesn't understand how it's not Russian-sounding. "Snow-viet. Soviet."
Finn covers his mouth. Poe grins in disbelief. The barista makes an odd sort of choking-snorting noise and rushes into the staff-only area when Rey and her friends look at them. The door swings shut behind them.
"Um," Finn says.
"See? This is why I never go out in public." Rey chugs the last of her espresso and plonks it back down on the counter. "You have no idea what kind of weirdos you'll meet. And I still don't get what's so funny, either."
"It's a Snow White reference," Finn and Poe say in unison.
"It's a what," Rey says.
"It's a Snow White reference," the barista repeats for them, coming back out from behind the door. They lean on the counter in front of Rey and rest their elbows on it. "Disney lesbian. White rose. Snow White. Except Snow-Viet, because I'm not white. You get it?"
Rey doesn't get it, actually, for about fifteen seconds. Then she gets how the pun works. And then she gets the ‘rose red/snow white’ joke behind the rose icon. And then she catches onto the ‘I'm not white’ in the little lecture, and then--
"You?"
The barista-- snow-viet?-- looks extremely smug. Finn's eyes go wide.
"Wow, Finn, didn't we have a date right about now?" Poe asks loudly enough that three people turn their heads to look.
"What?" Finn says. Poe gives him a sharp squint, and Finn whispers, " Oh, are you using this opportunity to surreptitiously ask me out while getting us out of the way so Rey can have her moment? Because you could have just asked me normally, you're very pretty--"
"I can just hear the frozen yogurt shop calling us!" Poe says, now very red in the face. "Throw-my-cup-out-will-you-Rey-great-thanks!"
And by the time Rey's actually reached over to toss Poe's cup in the garbage, they're out the door.
"So," snow-viet/the barista/quite possibly the girl of Rey's dreams says quietly, leaning over the counter.
"So," Rey repeats, feeling the back of her neck get pink. It's lucky she doesn't tend to blush on her face, though her ears are probably giving her away right now. She thinks about snow-viet calling her 'sir' in the game and hopes snow-viet isn't also thinking about that. She feels very warm, and also very fluttery. Her fingers are tingling.
Somehow, all of these feelings manage to occur in the half-second before snow-viet reaches her hand out and introduces herself as Rose.
"Known Disney lesbian," she adds, shaking Rey's hand. Rey feels like a slice of cucumber; very limp and floppy. The longer Rose stands in front of her, the more Rey is noticing. For example: Rose has round cheeks. Rose has dark eyes. Rose has lips that look like they'd taste like candy. And not the normal, weird, sort of artificial-tasting kind; stuff like the lollipops you can only buy in the right type of corner store. Sweet and natural and strawberry-flavored. Soft, too.
"I'm a gamer bisexual," Rey manages, eventually. She's actually not sure how she transitions from 'deep and convoluted comparisons involving Rose's lips' to 'coherent response to the social situation at hand', but it happens, and she doesn't even say anything odd or embarrassing on the way there. Rey's doing pretty well, considering she's talking to a gorgeous girl who can also beat Rey at games when she's applying herself. Generally Rey fucks things up very quickly in these types of interactions. She's actually not sure when she's going to fuck this up, but she's very worried it'll happen soon, and oh god, it'll be embarrassing, won't it, yeah it definitely-- "Please go out with me?"
Ah, there it is. She fucked it up.
"Uhhhhh," Rose says, and taps her fingers on the counter.
She fucked it up, she fucked it up, she fucked it up.
"That was fast," Rose says. She laughs a little.
"I'm-- smooth like that," Rey responds. God, what is she doing. She has no idea who this person is. Even if Rose is snow-viet, for god's sake, she might be a serial killer. Rey shouldn't be asking out random girls just because they look pretty and can sort of use a mouse.
Then again, Rose also has the only quality Rey has ever really wanted in a girlfriend.
(The ability to murder her ass in a video game.)
"Sure you are, Commander," Rose says, and Rey wilts. Or melts, she can't really tell. Something is liquefying her. Maybe it’s her feelings towards Rose. "Anyway--"
"Anyway?" Rey says, very quickly and hopefully, sitting straight up in her seat again.
"I'll consider it," Rose says.
Rey's heart stops pounding quite so fast. She brushes her hair away from her face in relief. Well, alright, that wasn't a complete rejection, and now that it's over--
"Here's my number. Play another three matches with me, take me out on a date, and call me at least one time to compliment me on my fantastic gaming skills. Then maybe." Rose smiles impishly and hands Rey a slip of paper with her number. Rey realizes vaguely that she must have written it out before, in the back room. Which means, on some level, that she planned this. And also she likes Rey.
She likes Rey!
Rey agrees immediately. She has no idea what this literal gamer angel is doing actually accepting (ish) her offer to date, but it's happening, oh my god, It's Happening, and Rey has a sort-of girlfriend, and Rey has a sort-of gamer girlfriend, oh my god, Oh My God--
"I'll pay for your coffee. You get out of here before my manager fires me." Rose sticks out her tongue in a perilously adorable expression, then kisses Rey on the cheek, effectively gluing Rey to her chair. Rey touches her cheek like she wasn't aware she had one until just now.
"Come on, get," Rose says, flicking a strand of Rey's hair. Rey snaps out of it (just barely) and gets the hell out of there before she can do something else that's gay and terrible. She has a girl's number, she has the promise of a date, she has a likely teammate who can zap other players to death from behind while healing her, She Is Gay As Hell, she has a possible girlfriend...
Before she can forget, Rey whips out her phone and slams the accept button on snow-viet's friend request. Then she walks off, whistling, to find Finn and Poe.