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    Summary

    “Sergeant Barnes?”

    “Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

    “Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

    Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

    “I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

    “Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

    Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

    “I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    111,695
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    2115
    Kudos:
    3024
    Bookmarks:
    899
    Hits:
    50627
  2. 18 Jan 2018

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  3. 17 Jan 2018

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    Bookmark Notes:

    Read this again for laugh out loud dialogue; ultimate sassy!Bucky ShrunkyClunks; extreeemly hot sex; and PLOT! also Deadpool.

  4. 17 Jan 2018

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    Bookmark Notes:

    One of My Fav <3

  5. 16 Jan 2018

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  6. 14 Jan 2018

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  7. 14 Jan 2018

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    “Get back!” Steve called over the roar of battle and blood in his ears. He couldn’t just stand there and watch some stupid civvie get himself blown up, but he was almost too stunned to move as he watched the man.
    “Listen, pal,” the guy called over his shoulder, like he was walking in the goddamn park. The goddamn park was twenty blocks east, okay. “This is my city, too.” He walked with a hint of a swagger, or maybe it was a limp. Steve thought he was probably almost the same size as Steve was, but he looked bigger, what with the body armor he was covered in. Body armor. Novel idea, SHIELD, let’s give that a try next time, huh?
    The man planted himself in the middle of the street and hefted the long, evil-looking rifle to his shoulder. He was calm and collected as the Chitauri’s shots rattled ever closer to his feet. Steve gaped. “What the hell are you?” he breathed out loud.

     

    He cleared his throat. “Barnes?”
    “Fuck off,” Barnes grunted, his voice muffled as he adjusted the mask he’d snatched from Fury’s dam bunker.
    “After this I’d like to explain myself a little better. And offer you a job.”
    “Fuck off,” Barnes said more emphatically, then followed Hill down the embankment.
    Steve eyed Sam with narrowed eyes.
    “He’s a kitten,” Sam told him reassuringly. “A fluffy, angry, kind of psychotic kitten.”
    “I can hear you, assholes,” Barnes said over the comms.

  8. 14 Jan 2018

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  9. 14 Jan 2018

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  10. 13 Jan 2018

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  11. 12 Jan 2018

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  12. 11 Jan 2018

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  13. 11 Jan 2018

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  14. 11 Jan 2018

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  15. 11 Jan 2018

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  16. 09 Jan 2018

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  17. 09 Jan 2018

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    Bookmark Notes:

    I love all the Buckys but this one is my favorite. Murder cyborg kitten who sasses like no one else! Steve deserves all the nice things even when his brain decides dumb things like breaking up up with Bucky. God I hope the multiverse is real so my babies can be this happy.

  18. 08 Jan 2018

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  19. 08 Jan 2018

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    Bookmark Notes:

    Just seeing this again makes me smile

  20. 07 Jan 2018

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  21. 07 Jan 2018

    Rec

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