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Question of Confidence

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Jane turned slowly in front of the mirror as she buttoned her pants. Jeans tonight—not slacks. Even that felt strange. She had been through every pair in her scantly filled closet trying to find one that could accommodate her plans for the night.

She covered her own eyes for a moment. This was completely ill conceived—it just had to be. She shifted from foot to foot, trying to get comfortable. The button tugged shut, and she finally couldn't help but laugh at her reflection. The entirely noticeable bulge in the front of the fabric looked ridiculous, and she couldn't help but groan inwardly. God, she hoped she was reading this right; otherwise she was preparing for the embarrassment of her life.

Finally, Jane paused long enough to truly take in her reflection, and a quiet smile spread over her face. She looked around in a nearly insane attempt to make sure that she was, yes, of course, still alone in her own bedroom. The brunette then reached for the nightstand drawer.

Moments later, she was holding her gun, looking at her reflection. She had to admit, there was a certain power there, a confidence, but almost immediately reality got the best of her and she blushed at her own thoughts.

"Really, Rizzoli?" She muttered to herself, rolling her eyes as she put the weapon back in its place, her momentary bravado melting as she decided if she could really go through with her plan.

That plan—hadn't there been alcohol involved? Yes, yes, of course there had been. It was the night Maura had insisted she try her favorite port wine. It had been too thick, too lingering for Jane's taste, but the effect had been memorable. Soon there were teasing comments, laughter, and now that she thought of it, it had been she herself who had made the order before dragging the other woman to the bedroom laughing. And now there she was—posing for herself in overly tight jeans and willing her mind to follow through and go to Maura's house in Brookline as planned…wearing this.

Despite the growing fall chill, Jane was sweating. She always did this when it came to her personal life. Chasing murderers, facing them down, sitting in courtrooms and testifying against the scum of the Earth—that was all in a day's work for Jane Rizzoli—but taking a risk with Maura—that was making her sweat. At least it was late. Dinner had been changed to a nightcap after Maura had been called in late. The quiet tree-lined street was deserted, and Jane hadn't had to go far.

Jane rubbed her hands on her jeans, then rang the doorbell. It was a familiar sound, as were the measured footsteps that soon approached—in heels that would cost Jane a week's salary—that followed. The door swung open, revealing Maura's slender but toned form, and Jane swallowed when the blonde's eyes quietly looked her over, lingering at her waist.

"Hey." Jane's voice was less sure than she had hoped it would sound.

"Come in." Maura stepped back, her shoulder pressed against the door. She kept her eyes on Jane, watching her moving, noting the hint of a different kind of swagger despite the obvious fact that she was not completely comfortable yet. It was difficult for Maura to contain her smile. She knew the moment was too delicate to laugh, even though her laughter would have been in delight. She never suspected Jane would have taken it upon herself to dress that way without more prodding, and the surprise was certainly working on her, as she felt her arousal when she closed the door behind Jane. "Drink?" Maura turned, eyes trained on the brunette, her gaze intense.

"God, yes." Jane's response was immediate. She resisted the urge to shift under Maura's eyes but couldn't help letting her own stare linger over the blonde, still dressed from work—her clothes accenting her form in just the right way as usual. Jane couldn't help herself and caught Maura's wrist as she brushed past. Worry was leading to anticipation, and she pulled the blonde into a kiss, quietly pressing against her.

The touch was gentle but more reassured than Jane realized, and as soon as she felt Jane against her, her body contrasted with the firmness of toy, Maura moaned into the kiss. When Jane tried to pull away, she wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly, desperately. She gasped, gulping breath in only to seek Jane's lips, her taste once more. "Jane," she murmured, kissing her neck, underneath her ear as she pushed her jacket off.

Jane hadn't been expecting Maura to move so quickly, and she let out a quick breath. Her worry about the assumption now moved to uncertainty of what to do next. Maura wasn't moving away, and Jane felt her coat fall, and her back pressed against the hallway wall as the blonde grew more insistent. "Maura...we should maybe..." but Jane's suggestion was cut off abruptly as Maura's lips claimed hers again, and she felt the other woman's hands moved down her body.

"Mmm," she intoned against Jane's skin, hooking her fingers through her belt loops and pulling her hips closer. Maura's breath caught in her throat, and she was quickly trying to both pull Jane down and undo her jeans. She might have locked the door; she couldn't remember, but it didn't matter. She wanted Jane—wanted her desperately, so much so that when her back hit the floor hard, she barely felt anything but the way Jane's hair tangled under her fingers.

As she folded onto the ground Jane swore under her breath in surprise, tangled in Maura. Once she felt Maura under her, pulling her closer, tugging at her clothes, though her oaths turned to a low moan. She leaned in and kissed Maura soundly, feeling the blonde's fingers again at her jeans. Jane reached under Maura's skirt, sliding it up, and moaned again when she saw there was nothing on under it. Her eyebrows raised, but she didn't have much time to smirk before Maura was kissing her again.

There was nothing simple about what Maura wanted, but she let herself give over to instinct without question in this case. She moved with Jane, pushing as the brunette kicked her jeans off. The floor was hard underneath her, warming with merely the silk of her dress between her skin and it. But she felt Jane, only Jane, and she pulled her closer, tighter against her, harder. Maura squirmed under her hands, trying to encourage her to simply have what she wanted. Her breath was coming too quickly for words.

Rid of her clothes, Jane slid over Maura closer, working her fingers under the blonde's dress higher and higher. Finally, their hips pressed together, and Jane paused, glancing at Maura. "Yes?" It wasn't that Jane thought Maura didn't want this; it was all still so new.

The doubt that flashed in Jane's eyes struck Maura, and her head cleared only to sharpen her intent. She let her hands fall from Jane's hair and to her hip, snaking between them to take hold of the dildo as she shifted. She was wet and Jane's nearness was almost delightfully painful. "Jane..." She stroked the toy, moaning softly at the weight under her fingers, and as she did so, she pressed she base against Jane's clit. "The..." she began, drawing in a shaking breath, "the ratio of your weight to mine..." Maura shifted again, wanting. "Under a certain amount of... I won't break, Jane..." She looked her in the eyes and moaned. "I won't break."

Jane was caught between a quiet laugh and a moan, and she pressed forward into the touch. Maura's hand slipped away, and Jane shuddered as she moved into the other woman for the first time. It was almost too much, and she reached to put her hands on the floor on either side of Maura, steadying herself in the moment. Soon she heard the blonde's breath catch, and felt Maura's hands go to her hips, encouraging her. "Maura...god..."

Maura's touch was almost frantic as she pulled Jane closer to her, deeper into her. She gripped her hips, palms sweating, sliding against Jane's skin, and she kissed her hard, pulling her down even closer even though there was no space left between them. The sounds she made were incoherent, even for her. And when she couldn't hold Jane in kisses, she began to nip at her neck, her collarbones, each time harder in an unconscious effort to mark her. She unhooked Jane's bra, letting it fall slack, pushing it up with her body and through the fabric of her dress, feeling Jane's nipples hard.

As Maura grew incoherent, Jane finally let herself go and swore under her breath. Her skin stung from each mark Maura made on her, but it only served to push Jane on, to keep her nerve up. She hadn't expected this, for Maura to be so quickly driven to this. In the frenzy, their eyes locked for a brief moment, and before Jane could understand the urge, she was reaching for Maura's leg, gripping her smooth thigh, and pulling it around her so they pushed together fully. Maura's eyes went wide, and for a moment her breath was so caught in her throat that seemed as if time stopped. Jane filled her completely, and she could not look away; she could not feel anything but the brunette's heat. And finally, she arched, writhing under Jane as she moaned, one hand gripping the brunette's hip and the other sliding between them to find her own clit.

Jane felt Maura start to touch herself, but only as an afterthought. Most of her mind was focused on how good—surprisingly so—it felt to take Maura like this. She felt the blonde shift under her, heard her obvious pleasure, and she closed her eyes. She almost didn't notice when she grew close to climax herself. It was nearly without trying, just touching Maura and knowing what she felt was enough. Soon, all of her tension and worry over the night drained from her, and she was kissing Maura again, pressing her tongue into her mouth as she moaned against her.

The kiss was so deep that Maura did not have time to break away, to gulp in a breath clouded with Jane's scent, before she began to shake with her climax. She tightened both of her legs around the brunette's slender hips, forcing her closer, forcing Jane to drive into her until she went slack, her breathing still jagged, her legs resting on Jane's back.

They lay like that for several long moments, both breathing hard. Jane's lips had moved to press against Maura's neck- just in the hollow by her shoulder where the skin was so warm. Finally, Jane shifted, pulling out of Maura, but still couldn't find the strength or the willingness to move. "Shit...Maura...I..." She was for once speechless at what they had just done.

"Shh," Maura whispered before kissing Jane again, slower but not without intent. She was quick to move them, pushing Jane down onto the bare floor. A rush of cool air swept across her damp back as she knelt over the brunette. Jane's hair was wild, her eyes questioning, but Maura did not give her time to think. She dipped down, taking the tip of the dildo between her lips and sliding it into her mouth, moaning as she tasted herself. Jane's mind, she knew, would be going in all directions if she was given a chance to simply think, so she placed a calming hand on the brunette's hip before sliding her fingers underneath the harness to touch her.

"Ohh..." Jane's hips jolted involuntarily, and she spread her legs, welcoming the touch. She was so ready, so sensitive, that her stomach was already clenching, pulling her shoulders off the floor with the force. Her fingernails dug into her palms, trying to stop her impulse to grab at Maura. Jane had been in Maura's place before, and had resented the implication of being held there. However, this was different somehow, Maura was fully in control, and Jane finally couldn't stand it any longer, and slid her fingers into Maura's hair. "Maura..." the rest of her words faded as Jane tipped over the edge, heels sliding up over the cool floor as she came hard.

There was absolutely nothing more Maura could have asked. She felt Jane's hesitation; she knew there were things they would have to talk about. She knew Jane would go over this moment later, would pick it apart. But she reveled in the sound of her moans, in the way she finally let herself go. And as if to prolong it, to preserve it, she found herself kissing Jane again, forgetting that they had scarcely made it past her entryway. "Mmhm..." she murmured, finally.

When Maura finally pulled away to settle on Jane's shoulder, the brunette quietly moved her hand up to her face, long fingers covering her eyes. As was often the case, her body and her mind were feeling two quite different things, and Jane was loathe to try and reconcile them. In truth, she had enjoyed that more than a little- all of it. But just the realization made her mind race. Jane moved her hand to Maura's head and slowly worked her fingers again through her long hair. The blonde looked so content, and Jane tried to take comfort in that. Still, she was painfully aware of the realities of the moment, and she sighed. "Maura?"

"Yes?" It was amazing how comfortable she felt there, wrapped in Jane's arms, their hair tangled, their skin cooling. But she heard doubt creeping into the brunette's voice, felt tension in her arms and shoulders.

Jane didn't know how to say what she was thinking without sounding like an idiot- but it wouldn't be the first time, and Maura Isles was one of the only people in the world she could trust when she did. "Maura, I don't know what's going on." Her fingers closed in blonde hair for a moment, "I mean, I don't see how...why...I..." Jane took a breath to try and pull herself together, feeling like a clumsy teenager. Finally she just blurted out, "I really liked that." She had meant it as a question, but it hadn't worked.

To laugh was a dangerous thing in that moment, but it was Maura's instinct—not to laugh at Jane, but to simply express her joy at how easy such moments between them had become. But she simply smiled and reached up to stroke Jane's wild hair. "Good...so did I..." She tried not to start smirking. It would be easy to simply kiss Jane again, to start touching her. But Maura fought her instincts, knowing that it would only stave off Jane's insecurities to make them come back stronger. "There's nothing wrong with that instinct, Jane...even if it's been...different in other situations."

Maura's understated logic let Jane relax somewhat, and she nodded, still processing. The adrenaline fading, she finally noticed how hard the floor was under her, and chuckled quietly, their proximity to the front door becoming obvious from where she lay sprawled out under Maura. "Very different..." She shifted, moving her shoulder blades on the hardwood.

Finally, Maura moved, reluctantly pulling away from Jane and standing. She offered her hand as she smiled. "Why don't I get you that drink?" Her dress was wrinkled, but it was only a delicious reminder of what had just happened, even though the tension was beginning to fade. Before Jane could follow her, though, she picked up the brunette's jeans, tossing them to her. The aesthetic, after all, was one she had only gotten to admire for just a moment.