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in which the arrowverse ladies actually get to talk to one another

Chapter Text

ladydeath created the group hello!!!!


ladydeath added speedygonzales, littlestlance, snowqueen and 2 others to the group hello!!!!


snowqueen: What is this?

ladydeath: we never really get a chance to hang out and i figured this would be easier than trying to find a break in our schedules

speedygonzales: and u r??

ladydeath: ???

ladydeath: oh wait!


ladydeath changed their name to smoakandmirrors


smoakandmirrors: wow sorry i forgot about that!!

betterlance: ladydeath? Really?

smoakandmirrors: look we all make bad decisions in college okay

smoakandmirrors: and sometimes those bad decisions get you put onto a government watchlist

betterlance: You know I’m still a lawyer, right?

irisbest: and my dad’s a cop?

speedygonzales: and i work for the mayor?

smoakandmirrors: and those records are sealed and you can’t prove anything

littlestlance: as iluminating as felicitys criminal past is, can we get back to more important stuff

littlestlance: like the fact im currently outside of normal time and how this is even possible???

irisbest: I’m guessing cisco did something

littlestlance: say no more

smoakandmirrors: hey i set this up!

irisbest: and you didn’t ask cisco for help?

smoakandmirrors: only a little

irisbest: uh huh

smoakandmirrors: maybe more than a little

smoakandmirrors: but still! mostly me!

irisbest: if you say so

littlestlance: gimme a sec i need gideon to replicate a phone

speedygonzales: did she just say replicate??

smoakandmirrors: yeah they have replicators

smoakandmirrors: on their space/time ship

speedygonzales: …

speedygonzales: im on the wrong team


littlestlance added eyeofthetiger to the group hello!!!!


littlestlance: evry1 this is amaya she didnt hav a cellphone bc shes from the 40s

eyeofthetiger: What is this?

littlestlance: its like a telegraph, but not

betterlance: I see that your years of time travel have taught you how to clearly explain things to people from different time periods

littlestlance: sorry did u just say yrs of time travel?? that no 1 else has?? damn i wonder what that wud feel like

speedygonzales: damn the lances are going OFF

eyeofthetiger: Could someone please explain this to me?

snowqueen: It’s a way of communicating with several other people who are very far away from each other

eyeofthetiger: I see. So, like some futuristic telegraph then.

betterlance: Oh no

littlestlance: oh what!1!!!


littlestlance changed the group name to alltheothercanariesarejustpretenderstothethrone


littlestlance changed their name to originalflavor


betterlance: Wow


betterlance changed their name to newandimproved


eyeofthetiger: How do I change the name on the messages that I write?

originalflavor: y wud u want 2??

newandimproved: You’re only saving one character by typing 2 instead of to

newandimproved: You literally only have to press one more key

originalflavor: ur jst jelly u dont hav my mad typing skillz

smoakandmirrors: did you just say skillz???

smoakandmirrors: in this the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen??

originalflavor: the best thing about timetravel is that, 4 me, its always the early 2000s


eyeofthetiger changed their name to amayajiwe


amayajiwe: Raymond showed me how.

originalflavor: no u cant use ur actual name


amayajiwe changed their name to vixen


originalflavor: do u all c what im dealing with here

vixen: It’s not my actual name.

originalflavor: oh u kno wat ur doing

vixen: Yes, I am conversing with you.

speedygonzales: ha burn

originalflavor: p sure this is mutiny

vixen: If I was mutinying, you would be more than pretty sure.

speedygonzales: damn son

Chapter Text

irisbest changed the group name to friendsfromotherearths


irisbest added quicksort to the group friendsfromotherearths


quicksort: hello?

irisbest: hey jesse! this is an all-girls groupchat for superheroes

quicksort: okay that’s really cool

irisbest: guys, this is jesse wells aka jesse quick aka the flash

irisbest: she’s a speedster from earth 2

quicksort: wait, how are you even sending these to me? aren’t you guys still on your earth?

irisbest: yeah but cisco set it up, he’s really good at this stuff

smoakandmirrors: *groupchat for superheroes and iris

speedygonzales: damn iris, u need to call ur boyfriend round, bc u just got murdered

irisbest: wow

smoakandmirrors: come back to me when you have a codename

speedygonzales: even caitlin cant heal that burn

snowqueen: Please don’t bring me into this

quicksort: is it always like this?

newandimproved: Pretty much, yeah

newandimproved: I’m Laurel, by the way. The one fighting with Iris is Felicity

newandimproved: snowqueen is Caitlin, originalflavor is my little sister Sara, and the idiot making bad puns is Thea

newandimproved: Plus Amaya, going by vixen, should be here, but I’m not sure where she is?

originalflavor: ray showed her how to mute the chat

originalflavor: apparently we r 2 immature or somthing

newandimproved: I'm pretty sure she was just talking about you

originalflavor: wow

originalflavor: my own fam

speedygonzales: wait no i have another 1

speedygonzales: u need to take a dip in the lazurus pit, bc u r ded

originalflavor: i feel like ur rehashing the 1st 1

speedygonzales: look i kno i make it look easy, but theres a lot of skill to this

quicksort: thanks for the intros

quicksort: and what do you guys all do? abilities wise? and do you all have codenames?

irisbest: you totally did that on purpose

speedygonzales: i shoot arrows into people, and i go by speedy

speedygonzales: (i kno its more a speedsters name, blame my stupid bro)

smoakandmirrors: i’m a hacker, and i’m Overwatch

smoakandmirrors: (i swear it was before the game came out)

quicksort: game?

smoakandmirrors: okay next time you're on this earth get cisco to set you up with a steam account

newandimproved: I just hit people and I have a sonic cry, but it’s a weapon not a power. And I used to go by the Black Canary, but now someone else has that name

originalflavor: i also hit ppl, but in a much better way, plus i had the sonic cry first

newandimproved: There was literally no need

originalflavor: and i was the original canary, but i go by white canary now

originalflavor: and captain

originalflavor: bc im the captian of a time ship

originalflavor: actually


originalflavor changed their name to captainlancejr


quicksort: .....why does your earth have much cooler superheroes than mine

irisbest: yeah, but you’re one of your earth’s only superheroes, which is much better

quicksort: I guess

smoakandmirrors: why junior?

captainlancejr: dads senior

speedygonzales: yh but hes not in the police anymore

captainlancejr: what????

speedygonzales: he works 4 me and ollie now at the mayors office

captainlancejr: omg i bet he hates that


captainlancejr changed their name to theonlycaptainlance


quicksort: is that everyone?

snowqueen: Everyone apart from me, but you already know about that

quicksort: wait, know what??

irisbest: oh yeah, you weren’t here

quicksort: for what??

smoakandmirrors: did something happen???

snowqueen: I have the metagene. It manifests as cold powers

theonlycaptainlance: lens gonna be so jealous

smoakandmirrors: wait since when????

snowqueen: A couple of months ago

quicksort: like killer frost???

snowqueen: Exactly like her

irisbest: no, nothing like her

speedygonzales: a few months?

speedygonzales: y didnt u help us out the last time we fought together?

snowqueen: Because I can’t control them

snowqueen: Sorry, I need to go do something


snowqueen has left the group


speedygonzales: did i do that? is she ok?

irisbest: she doesn’t like talking about this, but she can control her powers, but when she uses them, she can’t control herself?

irisbest: the last time she used them she nearly killed me

irisbest: and the time before that she tortured this guy and kidnapped and tortured another guy

irisbest: (he’s on our team now, long story)

irisbest: and she had a huge battle with barry and cisco

smoakandmirrors: oh my god

irisbest: yeah, and she stabbed barry and said really cutting things to him, and like, I’m not saying he deserved it, but

irisbest: obviously her actions were way out of proportion but I can understand where her anger’s coming from

irisbest: and none of us blame her, but I don’t think she believes us

irisbest: actually, do you mind if I go, I want to go and make sure she’s okay

smoakandmirrors: yeah, of course

speedygonzales: she doesn’t have to talk to me, but there was this time when i had this kind of curse which made me want to kill people?

speedygonzales: like i kno its not the same, but if she wants to talk to someone who doesnt judge and who kinda understands

theonlycaptainlance: i had the same curse, and im making the same offer

theonlycaptainlance: and if she ever wants to go to an uninhabited time period and just let her powers out, i can take her

irisbest: thanks guys, I don’t know that she’ll take you up on it, but I’ll pass the message along


irisbest has left the group


quicksort: I’m sorry

newandimproved: This isn’t your fault Jesse

quicksort: I was the one that brought the subject up

speedygonzales: yh but i was the one who pushed it

newandimproved: Okay, listen up because this is important and I’m only going to say it once

newandimproved: All of us have issues, and sometimes one of us will accidently touch a sore spot

newandimproved: That doesn’t make it any person’s fault

newandimproved: You just have to make sure that you remember where people’s boundaries are

newandimproved: And try to help the other person instead of worrying about the blame

theonlycaptainlance: that was surprisingly wise

newandimproved: Firstly, you’re an asshole

theonlycaptainlance: fair

newandimproved: Secondly, what did you think we did in AA meetings? Sung songs?

theonlycaptainlance: maybe

theonlycaptainlance: im joking that was a joke

theonlycaptainlance: i kno im a asshole but not that much

speedygonzales: yh shes not ollie

smoakandmirrors: and Thea Queen brings back the mood

speedygonzales: u met my family rite??

speedygonzales: if i didnt learn how to diffuse tension then they wouldve ended up killing each other yrs ago

speedygonzales: altho i guess they basically did so nm

Chapter Text

theholylance: yo guys can i ask u smth???

smoakandmirrors: sara???

theholylance: yh???

speedygonzales: what happended to ur name?????

theholylance: oh yh theres this powerful artifact called the spear of destiny but its also called the holy lance

speedygonzales: i dont care why u changed it i want to kno how

theholylance: and it can sort of rewrite reality

theholylance: wait what u kno how to change names on here???

speedygonzales: yh but none of us saw u do it

theholylance: oh i did it in my other groupchat

speedygonzales: OTHER GROUPCHAT????

theholylance: yh the legends one???

irisbest: I can’t believe you’re cheating on us

theholylance: theyre my team!! and i was in that 1 1st!!

quicksort: so you’re cheating on them with us?

theholylance: r u srsly telling me none of u hav other groups???

smoakandmirrors: no!!!

theholylance: so theres no team arrow gc???

newandimproved: Can you really see Oliver and Diggle joining in something like this?

theholylance: tru but dont u guys have a bby team

smoakandmirrors: do you mean the new recruits??

smoakandmirrors: bc they dont really like each other that much

theholylance: oh boy do i remember those days

smoakandmirrors: you’re talking about your team right?? bc we never hated each other

theholylance: ????

theholylance: fliss u and digg hated me!!!!

smoakandmirrors: we didn’t!!!

theholylance: srsly???

smoakandmirrors: it was weird seeing oliver so open around you when it took him ages to be like that with us but that’s it

theholylance: wait wait wait

smoakandmirrors: ???

theholylance: were u jealous????

smoakandmirrors: what no

theholylance: oh this makes so much sense

smoakandmirrors: we weren’t jealous!!!

theholylance: omfg thats y u were so weird on those painkillers!!

smoakandmirrors: i wasn’t jealous!!

theholylance: yh ok if u say so

theholylance: ;)

smoakandmirrors: i wasn’t!!!

theholylance: anyway what abt a team flash gc??? u guys are all tight right??

theholylance: lol rhymes

irisbest: I guess we never really needed one??

irisbest: bc we have speedsters and a teleporter so it’s not like we can’t get in touch easily

quicksort: and interdimensional communicators

quicksort: and cisco who i guess is that same thing

snowqueen: And we tend to spend a lot of time together anyway

theholylance: guys my team lives on 1 ship we only have 1 bathroom and we still have a gc

snowqueen: That sounds horrifying

irisbest: I think you guys might have some form of separation anxiety

theholylance: ok but what abt team nerd????

smoakandmirrors: you mean team tech

theholylance: doesnt that leave out caitlin tho???

snowqueen: I’m not a nerd

irisbest: sweetie, I love you and yes you are

smoakandmirrors: cisco and i text sometimes to keep each other up to date with what’s going on but that’s it

theholylance: damn u guys r super boring

theholylance: talk to other ppl u loners

newandimproved: Lovely as always

smoakandmirrors: okay i know thea said she didn’t care but i want to know about the holy lance

theholylance: ok so it rewrites reality and theres this team that some idiots are calling the legion of doom after it

smoakandmirrors: the legion of doom?? like the cartoons??

theholylance: cant belive im surrounded by nerds

newandimproved: Please tell me you know where it is

theholylance: well we have 1 piece of it and were pretty sure they dont have the other pieces

snowqueen: That’s not really comforting

speedygonzales: wait who r the doom legion

smoakandmirrors: legion of doom!!

speedygonzales: w/e

theholylance: yh abt that

theholylance: so u kno were timetravellers???

newandimproved: You only bring it up in every conversation

theholylance: and sometimes we fite against threats that prob wouldnt make sense to non timetravellers??

newandimproved: I really don’t like where this is going

theholylance: yh so the legion is made up of eobard thawne malcolm merlyn and damian darkh

snowqueen: That’s impossible, Eobard Thawne doesn’t exist

newandimproved: Darkh is dead, Sara, Oliver promised

theholylance: its a past version of darkh b4 he died but thawne is ~complicated~

theholylance: and thawne wants the spear so he properly exists agains and darkh wants it so he doesn’t die in the future

speedygonzales: merlyn wants it bc of me doesnt he

theholylance: sorry yh, he wants u him and tommy to be a family again

speedygonzales: of course he does

speedygonzales: i was wondering y he hadnt ruined my life lately and of course its bc hes trying to ruin the whole of reality

irisbest: can we help? evil speedsters are kind of our thing and we all have our own reasons for hating eobard

theholylance: no we have a handle on it

theholylance: i mean we probably cud hav used ur help figuring out which evil speedster thawne was bc u guys have a lot

theholylance: but now were ok

theholylance: well theyve kidnapped rip but hes a former time master hell be ok

snowqueen: Are you sure?

quicksort: yeah we have some experience with this sort of thing

speedygonzales: yh im not sure what we cud do but im always up for kicking my dads ass

theholylance: guys srsly weve got this and i kno u hav ur own problems. if we need help i promise well ask 4 it

smoakandmirrors: speaking of help, didn’t you want to ask us something??

theholylance: oh shit yh i almost forgot thx fliss

theholylance: so random question, how many stars does the us flag have?

snowqueen: 50

irisbest: ?????????????????????

speedygonzales: wtf

newandimproved: How can you not know that Sara?

newandimproved: Sara?

smoakandmirrors: SARA!!!!

theholylance: sorry i was talking to nate

smoakandmirrors: why did you even ask that?????

theholylance: dont worry abt it

theholylance: on a completly unrelated note

theholylance: can u name the states

smoakandmirrors: what did you do sara!!!!!

theholylance: dont yell at me!!!!

smoakandmirrors: then answer me!!!!

theholylance: i dont like ur tone!!!!

irisbest: how many states do we have in whatever version of the future you’ve just made?????

theholylance: y do u assume weve made an alt future????

newandimproved: Because we know you!

theholylance: ok fine but dont yell at me

theholylance: 49

smoakandmirrors: WHAT DID YOU DO SARA????????

Chapter Text

snowqueen changed the group name to wellwellwell


snowqueen changed their name to guesswho


guesswho: oh this looks like fun

smoakandmirrors: who the hell are you and what have you done with caitlin?????

guesswho: the docs fine, shes just a little preoccupied

speedygonzales: what tf is that suposed to mean

irisbest: guys it’s fine it’s just lisa snart

guesswho: excuse me, just lisa snart???

irisbest: she kidnaps caitlin every now and again, she’ll give her back in a few hours once they finish their date

speedygonzales: …and i thought my love life was weird

quicksort: wait is she a bad guy??

irisbest: sort of?? why, who is she on your earth?

quicksort: the deputy mayor

irisbest: the deputy mayor???

guesswho: your earth???

quicksort: yes and yes

quicksort: it’s a really long story

irisbest: you should probably ask cisco

theholylance: yo little snart len and mick say hey

guesswho: tell them im still pissed at them

theholylance: woah they just went super pale

guesswho: as they should

theholylance: okay now i want to meet u


guesswho: sara right? lennys told me about you

theholylance: bad things i hope

guesswho: oh definitely

guesswho: we have to meet up sometime, but now, caitlin wants her phone back

guesswho: and dont think im letting this other earth thing go

guesswho: later losers


guesswho changed their name to snowqueen


speedygonzales: damn i cant believe ur on a date w/ a supervillain

smoakandmirrors: i know cait, i didn’t know you were such a dark horse!!!

snowqueen: We’re not on a date

newandimproved: What are you doing together?

snowqueen: We’re just sitting in her living room

theholylance: mmhm

snowqueen: It’s not a date!

theholylance: mmhm

irisbest: cait, a thief just gave you your phone back just bc you asked

snowqueen: So?

theholylance: wow

newandimproved: I honestly don’t know how to respond to that

snowqueen: I have to go, I can't concentrate on two conversations at once


snowqueen has left the group


smoakandmirrors: what just happened???


beammeupshawna joined the group wellwellwell


beammeupshawna: pls help i am dying

smoakandmirrors: who are you and how did you get here????

beammeupshawna: your groups on public

irisbest: felicity

smoakandmirrors: oh whoops

newandimproved: I’m with Felicity right now, and she didn’t say whoops

smoakandmirrors: thanks laurel

smoakandmirrors: and i’m changing the privacy settings now

theholylance: u still havent said who u r tho

beammeupshawna: im the person who has to watch these two idiots flirt with each other

beammeupshawna: believe me, its painful

irisbest: wait, are you peekaboo?

quicksort: peekaboo?

speedygonzales: peekaboo???

beammeupshawna: i really hate that name

beammeupshawna: but yeah

speedygonzales: sorry, but peekaboo?????

beammeupshawna: blame ramon, i didnt pick it

irisbest: and I am super sad for you, but you need to send us updates

speedygonzales: yes livechat it 4 us!!!

beammeupshawna: gdi fine i guess i dont have anything better to do

smoakandmirrors: i’m getting popcorn

theholylance: ooh, same

newandimproved: You’re both terrible people

smoakandmirrors: you literally just took a handful of popcorn

irisbest: guys shut up I want to know what’s happening

beammeupshawna: ok so theyre sitting on the good couch making eyes at each other and awkwardly flirting

beammeupshawna: im in the armchair at the otherside of the room, i dont think they even know im here

beammeupshawna: jfc glider just did that thing where you stretch and put your arm around someone

irisbest: !!!!!

speedygonzales: wait srsly??? arent snarts meant to be super smooth??

theholylance: r u kidding snart is the most dorky guy i kno and i kno ray

beammeupshawna: yh gliders the same

beammeupshawna: its worse when theyre in the same room its like their dorkiness combines

beammeupshawna: im going to throw up i cant believe tht just came out of her mouth

irisbest: what???

beammeupshawna: glider: i stole this amber necklace last week that reminds me of your eyes

theholylance: see???? theyre dorks

speedygonzales: hotdamn thats some grade a cheese

newandimproved: That’s actually kind of sweet? If you think about it?

irisbest: I mean, I’ve heard snart say worse in his fights with the flash tbh

beammeupshawna: holy shit the docs not having any of it

beammeupshawna: doc: you know thats an admission of guilt

theholylance: omgg

irisbest: oh cait no

beammeupshawna: doc: i can go to the police with that

speedygonzales: damn she needs to go to them bc she just straight up murdered her

beammeupshawna: HOW DID IT GET WORSE???

quicksort: there’s no way it can be worse

beammeupshawna: glider: why, do you have a thing for me in handcuffs?

quicksort: ok nevermind

smoakandmirrors: well at least i’ve never said anything as bad as that

newandimproved: Yes you have

smoakandmirrors: shhhhh


irisbest: omg cait

smoakandmirrors: I JUST CHOKED ON MY POPCORN

beammeupshawna: wait wait wait

irisbest: ?????

beammeupshawna: gliders going in for the kiss

irisbest: asdfghghjnm

speedygonzales: !!!

irisbest: FINALLY

newandimproved: Oh wow

beammeupshawna: oh mY GOD

irisbest: what???

beammeupshawna: THE DOC DODGED IT

irisbest: NOOOO

theholylance: lmao get rekt

newandimproved: Not helping

beammeupshawna: wait no

irisbest: what??

speedygonzales: what????

newandimproved: What’s happening?

irisbest: come on this is years of ust you can’t just leave it there

beammeupshawna: yeah sorry i had to leave the room

beammeupshawna: theyre making out

newandimproved: YES

speedygonzales: YES

smoakandmirrors: wow get it caitlin

quicksort: this has been a rollercoaster

theholylance: len says tell lisa congratulations

beammeupshawna: yeah im not going back in there anytime soon

beammeupshawna: west, you still there?

smoakandmirrors: yeah iris, I thought you’d be the most excited

smoakandmirrors: iris??

irisbest: hey sorry this is Barry. Iris and Cisco are just screaming?

irisbest: yeah now they’re dancing and screaming?

irisbest: oh wow, I just read up the chat, well done Caitlin

beammeupshawna: hey allen, tell ramon that my codename sucks and i want a new one

irisbest: um okay

irisbest: wait, how do you know my name???

Chapter Text

theholylance: so

theholylance: snow

snowqueen: Yes?

theholylance: how was ur date?????

snowqueen: It wasn’t a date

speedygonzales: damn caitlin thats cold

theholylance: nice

snowqueen: What are you talking about?

quicksort: we sort of watched it?

snowqueen: I don’t understand

irisbest: shawna baez livechatted the whole thing

snowqueen: I didn’t even realize she was there

irisbest: okay think about that sentence and tell me it wasn’t a date

snowqueen: It wasn’t!

smoakandmirrors: you just randomly make out with people you’re not dating??

theholylance: i do

newandimproved: Yes, we all know you do

theholylance: not sure if ur judgey or jealous

snowqueen: We didn’t make out

irisbest: yeah we know you did

snowqueen: It was only a kiss


theholylance: IT WAS ONLY A KISS

newandimproved: You’re not helping

snowqueen: Can we just talk about something else right now?

smoakandmirrors: you know, as someone who’s dealt with this kind of thing a lot

smoakandmirrors: ignoring it totally doesn’t work

snowqueen: I know, just not now, okay?

smoakandmirrors: okay

smoakandmirrors: so anyway, new topic?????

theholylance: ok so i guess this is like sort of related to the old one but


theholylance changed their name to lancelot


lancelot: guess who just made out with queen guinevere and inspired the legend of lancelot!!!!!

newandimproved: Ray?

lancelot: dont h8 jst bc u cant rel8

newandimproved: How old are you again?

lancelot: age has no meaning to a timetraveler

lancelot: and im p sure im actually older than u now

newandimproved: Wait what???

lancelot: but anyway i kissed her but b4 that, and i quote

lancelot: me: i enjoyed meeting u

lancelot: her: and i you, sara lance. a lot

lancelot: !!!!!!!!!

lancelot: guys y is nobody else excited?????

smoakandmirrors: no we are

speedygonzales: yh it sounds cool

lancelot: u dont sound like it

quicksort: I’m excited for you!

lancelot: ur from a diff world evrthing is exciting 2 u

irisbest: hey!

quicksort: no, that’s fair

snowqueen: This is just the sort of thing we expect from you, that’s all

lancelot: oh

speedygonzales: its still awesome tho!!!

lancelot: i guess ill have to try harder to surprise u all

snowqueen: That’s not what I meant at all

newandimproved: Please don’t

lancelot: no i gotta

lancelot: and i guess it sucks that they changed me into a dude bc heteronormativity

smoakandmirrors: i honestly can’t believe you spelled that right

lancelot: rude

lancelot: also they made guinevere into a cheater, which not cool

lancelot: (yes i kno, ironic coming from me)

irisbest: you’re telling me king arthur and queen guinevere weren’t married????

irisbest: they were my childhood!!!

lancelot: u an ray shud probably talk

lancelot: and no they were married but not romantic/sexual

lancelot: i think they might have been like that word

lancelot: gay friends??? but not actual gay friens

lancelot: like more than friends but not in love???

smoakandmirrors: queerplatonic??

lancelot: yes!!

speedygonzales: gay friends

lancelot: look im sorry i didnt have time to learn queer terminology while i was busy saving the universe

newandimproved: You can’t use that excuse for everything

lancelot: can and will

lancelot: plus i met merlin and shes super hot

speedygonzales: she???

quicksort: merlin isn’t a woman on your earth?

speedygonzales: i didnt think she was??

newandimproved: No way, I don’t believe you

lancelot: ugh fine let me get amaya to unmute the chat

lancelot: ok shes here

vixen: Sara insisted she needed my help with something on here.

lancelot: amaya tell everyone that merlins a woman bc they dont believe me

vixen: I told you I don’t have time for these childish antics.

lancelot: amaya im ur captain u have to

vixen: You realize that we have an actual important job to do?

lancelot: please!!!!!!

lancelot: u can go again after this convo

lancelot: i jst need u to prove a point

vixen: Fine.

vixen: Merlin is a woman.

speedygonzales: !!!!!!

lancelot: suck it laurel

newandimproved: I was going to apologize and now I’m not

speedygonzales: but how is she a woman???

vixen: She’s my former teammate.

lancelot: ur former hot teammate

lancelot: wait no

lancelot: ur hot former teammate

lancelot: anyway, that means im in the lead

snowqueen: In the lead of what?

vixen: One of their ridiculous competitions.

lancelot: 1 of our awesome competitions

quicksort: you guys have competitions?

smoakandmirrors: of course they do

lancelot: ok so basically we have:

lancelot: 1)how many famous people can u kiss/makeout/sleep with

lancelot: 2)how many famous people can u prove are queer

lancelot: 3)how many (minor) marks on history can u make (eg paintings, statues etc)

lancelot: and 4)how many stories/legends/fairytales can u inspire

speedygonzales: dude

speedygonzales: thats awesome

irisbest: I don’t know if awesome’s the word I’m looking for

lancelot: so obvs im winning the first

smoakandmirrors: obviously

lancelot: snarts winning the 2nd but only bc he made us start over bc he said it wouldnt be fair since he wasnt here

lancelot: and micks winning the 3rd bc people rlly like painting him??

lancelot: and rays winning the 4th bc he keeps doing stupid shit nd then they think hes like a woodland nymph or smth

smoakandmirrors: …yeah i can see that

snowqueen: Is anyone else concerned that these are the people in charge of the timeline?

smoakandmirrors: apart from you amaya obviously

vixen: Thank you.

irisbest: a little bit yeah

lancelot: at least were doing a better job than ur bf

speedygonzales: OHHHHHHHH

speedygonzales: get rekt

irisbest: why does everyone always pick on me????

newandimproved: Okay this is all very exciting but can we get back to the fact that you’re older than me??

lancelot: oh yh

newandimproved: What did you do??

lancelot: nothing!!!!!

lancelot: back when we were still fighting savage the waverider was attacked and it had to make an emergency jump to the timestream

lancelot: but me ray and kendra were still in the 50s and bc of the damage they couldnt pick us up until 2 yrs l8r

newandimproved: You never told me that

lancelot: u werent exactly around when i came back

newandimproved: Right, sorry

lancelot: that wasnt ur fault dumbass dont ever apologize for that

newandimproved: Thanks, I think

lancelot: but yh so that made us abt the same age but then with all the timetravel in between im p sure im abt a yr older

newandimproved: Oh

lancelot: ur still my big sister tho

newandimproved: I don’t think that’s how it works

lancelot: whos the time master here??? thats right, me

lancelot: even if i turn up in a few days and im like 80 then ur still the big sister sorry i dont make the rules

newandimproved: Thanks Sara

newandimproved: Though you’re not actually going to do that?

lancelot: of course not

lancelot: im not gonna reach 80 im gonna be executed the night b4 my 40th bday 4 sleeping with a member of a royal family

newandimproved: Sara no

lancelot: or be burned at the stake as a witch i havent decided yet

Chapter Text

smoakandmirrors changed the group name to welcometotheclub


smoakandmirrors added thirdtimesthecharm to welcometotheclub


smoakandmirrors: guys, this is dinah! she’s the new Black Canary

lancelot: is she now


smoakandmirrors changed the group name to allcanariesarewelcome


lancelot changed the group name to aretheynow


smoakandmirrors: Sara

lancelot: Felicity

smoakandmirrors: did you seriously just use a capital letter???


newandimproved changed the group name to ignoresarashedoesntknowwhatshestalkingabout


lancelot: y did u make that the chat name u cudve just said that in a msg???

newandimproved: Because it’s a life lesson that everyone should follow

lancelot: wow, my own fam

thirdtimesthecharm: thanks btw

thirdtimesthecharm: I’m going to make sure I don’t let the name down

irisbest: yeah ignore sara, it’s nice to meet you

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s nice to meet you guys too

thirdtimesthecharm: not that I really know who any of you are

quicksort: we really need some kind of list with everyone’s names

smoakandmirrors: well i guess now you know sara, and the one defending you is laurel

smoakandmirrors: speedy’s thea, quick’s jesse, snow’s caitlin

smoakandmirrors: and iris is iris

smoakandmirrors: bc someone wasn’t being imaginative when they thought up their name

irisbest: these names reflect who we are as people

irisbest: ie, I’m the best and you’re just a bunch of tricks

speedygonzales: ohhhhhh

snowqueen: Really? This again?

thirdtimesthecharm: I’m sorry if I started something?

newandimproved: No, they’re just idiots

smoakandmirrors: hey!!!

irisbest: she started it!!

smoakandmirrors: oh we all know who started it, iris

newandimproved: Well I’m ending it

lancelot: omg

speedygonzales: mom friend, activate

newandimproved: I’m not the Mom friend

speedygonzales: ??????????

lancelot: did u rly jst say that???

newandimproved: What???

speedygonzales: u r like the most mom friend ever

smoakandmirrors: yeah, you sort of are

newandimproved: No, Digg’s the Mom friend

lancelot: u can hav more than 1 mom friend in a group laurel

lancelot: besides, digg is only like half a mom friend, ur more like 90%

newandimproved: What’s the other ten percent?

lancelot: (ง'̀-'́)ง

newandimproved: What does that mean?

lancelot: it means u need to go on the internet more bc ur a nerd

newandimproved: Thanks Sara

irisbest: hey dinah, can I ask a question???

thirdtimesthecharm: uh yeah, sure

irisbest: is your chat name to do with you being the third black canary?

thirdtimesthecharm: yep, why?

irisbest: bc I thought there were four of you?????

smoakandmirrors: nope. only three

snowqueen: No, I’m pretty sure I remember there being a girl with you during the alien invasion

quicksort: wait aliens??????

smoakandmirrors: nope, three

lancelot: pls tell me ur bf didnt screw up the timeline again

irisbest: hey!!!

speedygonzales: no the girl between laurel and dinah turned out to be a backstabbing bitch so were not counting her

smoakandmirrors: usually i’d object to the swearing, but yeah basically

irisbest: oh

smoakandmirrors: plus she ended up using the name Artemis, so

thirdtimesthecharm: I guess at least I can’t be as bad as that one then

quicksort: okay I’m sure this is important and everything, but can we go back to the alien invasion??

quicksort: why did no one call me??

snowqueen: It was kind of a rushed operation

irisbest: yeah, even I didn’t get to help

irisbest: not that I’m bitter or anything

smoakandmirrors: sorry, codenames only

irisbest: ughhh

thirdtimesthecharm: It was before I joined team Arrow

newandimproved: I wasn’t there either

speedygonzales: yh, but u were dead

quicksort: wait what

thirdtimesthecharm: oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask about that

thirdtimesthecharm: Canaries have a tendency to die, and I kinda don’t want to do that

lancelot: we get better tho

lancelot: its the mark of a tru canary

smoakandmirrors: Sara Lance you shut down that train of thought right now!!!

lancelot: i didnt say anything!

smoakandmirrors: so you weren’t going to suggest that dinah get herself killed to see if she resurrects and proves that she’s a True Canary???

lancelot: well it sounds bad when you put it that way

quicksort: ok how many of you people have died??

newandimproved: Do you mean Canaries? Or just heroes/vigilantes in general?

quicksort: in general

newandimproved: Well there’s me, Sara and technically Thea

newandimproved: And maybe Oliver?

newandimproved: Am I missing anyone?

lancelot: len, plus the hawks used to have this whole reincarnating thing going on, and they’ve died 206 times

irisbest: and barry’s sort of died a few times, plus all of us have died a ridiculous amount of times in alternate timelines

quicksort: wow

irisbest: plus, you know, the future

quicksort: oh god sorry

irisbest: no it’s fine

irisbest: if we couldn’t joke about dying then I’m pretty sure half of us wouldn’t have anything to talk about, so

lancelot: hey, i've died twice!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: !!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: [iunderstoodthatreference.jpg]

newandimproved: Only one of those times really counts though

lancelot: oh no i was talking about that time i died the other day

lancelot: but if were including pseudo deaths then id smoke all of u bitches

newandimproved: What do you mean the other day??

lancelot: oh yh did i tell u rip got brainwashed???

newandimproved: No???

lancelot: ok well the legion of doom (still a stupid name) brainwashed him into being an evil douchebag

lancelot: and he shot me but then gideon brought me back to life

speedygonzales: lol rip sara

smoakandmirrors: Thea

speedygonzales: what??? shes clearly fine now

newandimproved: Why didn’t you tell me??

lancelot: if i called u up everytime im in danger then id never be off the phone

lancelot: plus, b4 cisco souped up our phones, i wouldve had 2 fly back 2 2017 every time smth bad happens

lancelot: and thats like, a lot of times

lancelot: and rips onboard now an were gonna try and unbrainwash him so

thirdtimesthecharm: fly back?

quicksort: sara leads a team of timetravelling superheroes

thirdtimesthecharm: oh

quicksort: yep

newandimproved: There’s in danger and then there’s came back from the dead

lancelot: laurel theyre basically the same thing when it comes to me

newandimproved: Sara

lancelot: look i promise ill call u next time i die okay

newandimproved: That’s all I ask

lancelot: anyway

lancelot: sorry, i couldnt not make that ref, but iris what were u talking abt??

irisbest: ????

lancelot: u said smth abt the future??

irisbest: oh right

irisbest: so barry accidentally ran forward in time and watched me get murdered

smoakandmirrors: oh my god are you okay?

irisbest: I don't really know

irisbest: it doesn’t feel like it’s real tbh

irisbest: it's just sort of numb?

irisbest: I guess we’ve been close to death so many times that it hasn’t really sunk in yet

irisbest: and the future can be changed right?

irisbest: sara?

lancelot: short answer: yes

lancelot: slightly longer answer: it depends

irisbest: and the long answer?

lancelot: the long answer is smth u shud talk to rip abt when we unbrainwash him

lancelot: but like i kno i rag on ur bf a lot abt his treatment of the timeline

lancelot: but we all kno that he can change the future

lancelot: and the legends can lend a hand if u want

irisbest: no you guys have a lot on your plate rn

lancelot: im gonna say this again

lancelot: timetravel

irisbest: yes I know, but I also know you guys can’t always help

lancelot: ????

irisbest: like when you got stuck in the 50s?

lancelot: u kno abt that???

irisbest: we were still here when you two were talking about that, we just decided to give you some space

lancelot: oh

irisbest: I’m guessing that’s what’s happening now too

speedygonzales: yep

lancelot: look, we r dealing w/ a lot rn

lancelot: like, reality level shit

lancelot: BUT

lancelot: well still help when u need us

lancelot: (and yes im talking abt u creepers watching the convo as well)

smoakandmirrors: we’re trying to give you two some privacy

lancelot: yeah yeah

lancelot: and also laur im espesh talking to u bc i kno how stupidly self sacrificing u can be

newandimproved: No I’m not?

speedygonzales: ???????

lancelot: hoo boy yes u r but thats a tlk 4 a diffrent day

lancelot: so anyway if u get to a pnt where u need some1 w/ time travel info

lancelot: or u kno, an actual timetravelling ship

lancelot: hmu, ok?

irisbest: I will, thank you

lancelot: also new girl i guess this includes u 2

thirdtimesthecharm: thanks?

smoakandmirrors: yh that’s basically sara’s way of apologizing

newandimproved: That’s pretty much all you’re going to get

Chapter Text

lancelot changed the group name to thelastnamewasstupidandsoislaurel


newandimproved changed the group name to whydoyouhavetobesuchachild


lancelot changed the group name to whydoyouhavenosenseofhumor


newandimproved changed the group name to idoyourejustnotfunny


smoakandmirrors changed the group name to ifyoutwodontstopthenillbanyou


lancelot: u wouldnt

smoakandmirrors: try me

lancelot: ugh fine

smoakandmirrors: laurel?

newandimproved: I don’t like fighting anyway

lancelot: ????????

speedygonzales: ??????

smoakandmirrors: ???????

newandimproved: What? I don’t

speedygonzales: hey remember when u tried to kill my dad by yourself??

speedygonzales: or when u took on every criminal u cud find and u had no training???

newandimproved: Only because someone wouldn’t train me

thirdtimesthecharm: I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that someone was oliver?

lancelot: yooooo new girl catches on fast

quicksort: wait I thought that oliver’s the guy that trains everyone

irisbest: barry always says he’s his mentor

smoakandmirrors: it’s complicated

speedygonzales: you just summed up ollies entire life in 2 words

lancelot: ooh wait jesse i just remembered i need to ask u something

quicksort: okay?

lancelot: jesse u kno that u said that ur earth’s lisa snart was the deputy mayor?

quicksort: yes?

lancelot: what abt the rest of us? who r we on ur earth???

speedygonzales: yes!!! i need to kno this!!!

smoakandmirrors: ooh yes i want to know who my mirror self is

quicksort: are you guys sure?? because sometimes knowing what an alternate version of yourself is like can be bad

thirdtimesthecharm: okay what the hell are you all talking about??

irisbest: did you guys forget to give dinah the multiverse talk????

smoakandmirrors: in my defence, it’s been a busy couple of weeks

smoakandmirrors: besides, you guys are better at that sort of thing

irisbest: okay, so, the guys usually give a long explanation

snowqueen: With a whiteboard

irisbest: right, yeah the relativity whiteboard

irisbest: but basically: alternate universes are real

thirdtimesthecharm: and I was just starting to get my head round time travel

irisbest: it takes a while, but you’ll get used to it

thirdtimesthecharm: so there’s another me on another earth?

quicksort: well quite a few earths, but yeah. the earth we’re talking about now is mine

thirdtimesthecharm: because you’re from another earth

quicksort: yep

thirdtimesthecharm: and you’re talking to us from that earth???

quicksort: yep

thirdtimesthecharm: oh

thirdtimesthecharm: okay

thirdtimesthecharm: so why shouldn’t we know what our alternate self is like?

snowqueen: Believe me, sometimes you’re better off not knowing

speedygonzales: ur double was a bad guy???

snowqueen: That’s putting it mildly. She killed a lot of people, and tried to kill me

snowqueen: And she kept hitting on me?

snowqueen: It was disturbing, to say the least

lancelot: honestly??? i doubt alt me can be worse than regular me

newandimproved: Don’t talk about yourself like that

lancelot: not current regular me bc shes better than all of u

smoakandmirrors: thanks

lancelot: but past regular me who broke up relationships and also murdered people

speedygonzales: well there is that

quicksort: well okay then??? let me get to a computer

quicksort: I’m guessing sara and laurel’s last name is lance and felicity’s is smoak?? but I don’t know thea’s or dinah’s?

thirdtimesthecharm: dinah drake

speedygonzales: its thea queen

speedygonzales: its easy to remember bc im a queen

quicksort: do you mean like the queen family in starling? because on my earth they only had a son called oliver

irisbest: had?

quicksort: he died about ten years ago

smoakandmirrors: wait so laurel’s doppel was telling the truth??

quicksort: you’ve met black siren???

lancelot: black siren??????

smoakandmirrors: yeah she’s locked up in an argus prison

lancelot: nobody thought to tell me that laurel has an evil twin?????

smoakandmirrors: it’s a long story

lancelot: what if she broke out and i thought she was laurel????

smoakandmirrors: yh but what are the chances of that happening again??

lancelot: again?????

smoakandmirrors: look we’ll tell you the story properly when you’re next in town

lancelot: ugh fine

speedygonzales: so anyway back to me

lancelot: wow

speedygonzales: what abt the merylns?? bc long story but my bio dad is actually malcolm merlyn

quicksort: are you still sure you want to know?

speedygonzales: wow so im guessing im either evil or dead

speedygonzales: yes i still want to kno

quicksort: there is a mia merlyn but she’s in jail for mass murder

speedygonzales: oh

smoakandmirrors: thea?

speedygonzales: the undertaking?

quicksort: yes actually? that happened here too?

speedygonzales: yh, but i wasnt part of it

speedygonzales: god she mustve only been 18

newandimproved: Are you okay?

speedygonzales: better than ok

smoakandmirrors: ???????

speedygonzales: im not the worst version of me

speedygonzales: nothing i can do will ever be that bad

quicksort: that’s a really positive way of thinking about it

speedygonzales: making good things out of bad situations is my best quality

speedygonzales: i'm a politician

lancelot: ok move over queen its my turn

speedygonzales: rude

smoakandmirrors: well, black siren said that her family was dead

smoakandmirrors: i sort of thought it was a sympathy play but she wasn’t lying about oliver

lancelot: im dead???

quicksort: my earth’s sara lance died in a shipwreck

lancelot: wait no thats what every1 thought happened here but i actually survived

smoakandmirrors: yh but wouldn’t alt!sara have told alt!laurel????

lancelot: u think i survived the shipwreck but died after??

newandimproved: Well that is what happened here

lancelot: wait

lancelot: how did the rest of the lances die?

quicksort: I don’t really know? the report says they suspected poisoning but they couldn’t identify it

lancelot: i guess that worlds nyssa isnt as forgiving as ours

smoakandmirrors: you think it was the league??

lancelot: untraceable poison????? ofc it was the league

quicksort: league?

lancelot: of assassins. i used to be a member

lancelot: well twice actually

lancelot: timetravel

quicksort: you were an assassin???

lancelot: yup. i was awesome

lancelot: my name was ta-er al-sahfer, which means canary

newandimproved: Doesn’t it actually mean ‘yellow bird’?

lancelot: it means canary

smoakandmirrors: no we looked it up on google translate, it means yellow bird

lancelot: googles a little bitch it means canary

newandimproved: Do you want me to call Nyssa and ask her?

lancelot: y do u have my exs number even i dont have it

newandimproved: Sometimes we meet up for milkshakes and sparring

lancelot: ?????

lancelot: ur my sis ur meant to be on my side of the breakup

newandimproved: You didn’t break up, you died and then you became a time traveller

lancelot: details

lancelot: but anyway ur not meant to able to leave the league apart from dying

lancelot: and if u dont die they can go after ur family to make u go back

lancelot: but nyssa let me leave

snowqueen: I thought you did die?

lancelot: that was the 2nd time i left, nyssa let me go the 1st time, then ras let me go the 3rd

irisbest: why did you keep going back???

lancelot: i was in a bad headspace

lancelot: it’s complicated

lancelot: anyway, anyone else???

thirdtimesthecharm: I’m getting the feeling that I probably don’t want to know about my double

quicksort: really?

thirdtimesthecharm: well, no, but also yes

thirdtimesthecharm: why, do you know who she is?

quicksort: yeah, it was a big news story not that long ago

quicksort: are you sure?

thirdtimesthecharm: let me guess: undercover cop killed by the mob?

quicksort: yes, how did you know???

thirdtimesthecharm: it nearly happened here

thirdtimesthecharm: my powers kicked in just as I was about to die

irisbest: wait, powers??? are you from central???

thirdtimesthecharm: born and raised

thirdtimesthecharm: I never met your dad, but I heard good things about him, and barry allen

thirdtimesthecharm: and eddie thawne

irisbest: thank you

thirdtimesthecharm: just relaying the message

thirdtimesthecharm: though honestly, from all the stuff I heard about allen, I’m not surprized he’s the flash

irisbest: yeah, I love him, but god knows that boy can’t keep a secret

thirdtimesthecharm: and what thea said, about making a good thing? I feel the same about my double

thirdtimesthecharm: she was fighting for justice and I’m proud to be like her

smoakandmirrors: okay do me next!!!

smoakandmirrors: yes sara i know

lancelot: honestly u do that so often that i dont even pick up on it anymore

lancelot: anyway, whats alt fliss like?

quicksort: okay, I’m looking her up now

quicksort: do really want to know?

smoakandmirrors: well you can’t not tell me now

smoakandmirrors: just do it

quicksort: okay

quicksort: she killed herself in prison

quicksort: I’m sorry

quicksort: felicity??

newandimproved: ??????

lancelot: what???

newandimproved: I’m with Felicity and she just yelled Son of a bitch!

speddygonzales: wtf???

smoakandmirrors: i’m cooper!???

irisbest: who’s cooper and how did they get felicity to swear???

lancelot: wait y r u w/ fliss???

newandimproved: It’s Doctor Who night

lancelot: nerds

smoakandmirrors: are you kidding me!??

smoakandmirrors: cooper????

newandimproved: Okay, now she’s just saying bastard under her breath

irisbest: ok seriously who is this person???

smoakandmirrors: a guy i dated in college

irisbest: oh

smoakandmirrors: he got arrested for some cyber terrorism and then he faked his death (without telling me it was fake) so he could work for the nsa

smoakandmirrors: and then he left the nsa and turned up in starling and caused a citywide blackout so he could rob a bank

smoakandmirrors: using my computer virus!!! that he stole from me!!!!

smoakandmirrors: oh and also he kidnapped me and my mom

snowqueen: I feel like your priorities are mixed up

smoakandmirrors: but then the arrow showed up and distracted him long enough for me to kick his ass

speedygonzales: so alt u is a terrorist????

smoakandmirrors: wait does that mean that alt!me got her ass kicked by alt!coop bc that’s not fair

quicksort: well we don’t have whatever the nsa is, but there was a blackout in starling and the bank was robbed, but the hacker was never caught

smoakandmirrors: alt!team arrow never stopped alt!me?????

speedygonzales: woah

lancelot: fliss ur not allowed to ever turn evil

lancelot: none of us wud be able to stop u

smoakandmirrors: you lead a time travelling team of superheroes????

lancelot: so???? youd still win

speedygonzales: ur bffs w/ literally every superhero????

newandimproved: And you know everybody’s strengths and weaknesses

irisbest: plus you can hack all of our tech

thirdtimesthecharm: you could probably play us all off against each other

snowqueen: I guess the next time I turn evil I need to take Felicity out first

thirdtimesthecharm: ?????

smoakandmirrors: cait?????

snowqueen: It was a joke

lanceot: wow gotta say ur not great at tone

snowqueen: I get that a lot

newandimproved: It’s good that you’re joking about it though

snowqueen: Cisco said that it can help

smoakandmirrors: does it?

snowqueen: Not really

thirdtimesthecharm: so I’m guessing I missed whatever this is about?

smoakandmirrors: it’s kind of like how you were before oliver recruited you

thirdtimesthecharm: oh

snowqueen: How were you were you then?

thirdtimesthecharm: I was sort of on a revenge killing spree?

snowqueen: Oh

thirdtimesthecharm: they weren’t very nice people, but it still wasn’t particularly healthy

thirdtimesthecharm: or legal, obviously

thirdtimesthecharm: it was just like I needed to make them hurt like I hurt

snowqueen: That’s how it feels for me too

snowqueen: Only the people I hurt aren’t always bad people

snowqueen: It’s complicated

thirdtimesthecharm: well, I’m sure you’re probably sick of people saying it will get better

thirdtimesthecharm: but it sounds like emotionally I wasn’t too different from you a few months ago and I just passed a police pysch eval

thirdtimesthecharm: so yeah

snowqueen: No, it helps, thank you

speedygonzales: not to ruin the moment but our cops arent that stable

thirdtimesthecharm: thanks thea

speedygonzales: apart from u!!!

quicksort: okay, so that’s everyone?

smoakandmirrors: no there’s still iris

irisbest: oh I already know who my e2 double is: she’s a cop

speedygonzales: a cop?????

irisbest: well she’s a detective that fights against bad metas, but yeah

smoakandmirrors: seriously???

irisbest: plus she survived through the whole of zoom’s control of the city

irisbest: and helped to take him down

newandimproved: I feel like this is unfair

speedygonzales: how come u get the good double?????

irisbest: sorry

irisbest: I guess I’m just awesome in every universe

smoakandmirrors: wow

lancelot: u kno i can hear ur smugness all the way from the cretaceous period

irisbest: :)

Chapter Text

smoakandmirrors changed the group name to hellofromtheotherside


smoakandmirrors added puppydanvers to hellofromtheotherside


puppydanvers: hello???

smoakandmirrors: hi, is this kara danvers?

puppydanvers: yes??

smoakandmirrors: it’s felicity smoak!! (from that time we fought off the dominator invasion?)

puppydanvers: wait, from the other earth???

smoakandmirrors: yes!!

puppydanvers: omg!! this is awesome!!!

smoakandmirrors: i know!!!

snowqueen: Oh no, there’s two of them

puppydanvers: how is this even possible!!??

smoakandmirrors: don’t you even think about it west

irisbest: cisco set it up

puppydanvers: oh okay

irisbest: (sorry)

smoakandmirrors: (whatever)

puppydanvers: hey do you mind if I add some other people???

puppydanvers: they already know about the whole other earths thing

smoakandmirrors: sure

lancelot: no guys tho

lancelot: its like our brand


puppydanvers added agentdanvers and betterthanyou to the group hellofromtheotherside


puppydanvers: guys, this is my sister alex and my friend lucy!!

agentdanvers: hi

betterthanyou: sup

puppydanvers: and these are some of the people I was telling you about, the ones I met on the other earth

puppydanvers: though I don’t think I’ve met all of you??

quicksort: it’s okay, I have a spreadsheet

quicksort: [introductions.xls]

speedygonzales: u actually made it????

quicksort: I figured it would be useful for situations like this

quicksort: I try to keep it updated, but if there’s a name on here you don’t recognise, then it’s probably sara

quicksort: she goes through a lot of them

lancelot: thats what she said

newandimproved: She’s also a teenage boy

smoakandmirrors: and dinah isn’t here, she’s at work, bc she’s the only one of us with an actual day job

newandimproved: I have a job! I just don’t have a case right now

smoakandmirrors: right, sorry

irisbest: and I have a job too!!!

smoakandmirrors: do you iris

smoakandmirrors: do you really

irisbest: yes!!!

agentdanvers: isn’t a list of all your secret identities a security risk?

quicksort: it probably would be, but I keep it on my earth

speedygonzales: yh, and were all dead or evil over there so it doesnt really matter

snowqueen: Or both

irisbest: um excuse me

speedygonzales: oh apart from iris, shes a cop

irisbest: a badass cop tyvm

quicksort: and caitlin’s girlfriend is the deputy mayor of central city on my earth

quicksort: but I think she’s a supervillain on their earth?? so it kind of balances out

puppydanvers: you’re dating a supervillain?????

snowqueen: No

snowqueen: She’s not my girlfriend

irisbest: it’s cute that you still think that

lancelot: so anyway kara

lancelot: is this the sister u were telling me abt?????

agentdanvers: kara?

puppydanvers: okay so don’t be mad

puppydanvers: but sara was flirting with me and I maybe said she should speak to you instead??

agentdanvers: of course you did

lancelot: so???

agentdanvers: oh

agentdanvers: I sort of have a girlfriend?

betterthanyou: u do?????

betterthanyou: since when?????

betterthanyou: who is she????

puppydanvers: her name’s maggie and she’s a cop and she likes guns and tiny trees

agentdanvers: kara

puppydanvers: am I lying??

agentdanvers: you’re the worst

lancelot: so

lancelot: how opens ur relationship

newandimproved: Oh my god Sara!!!!

betterthanyou: oh i like u

lancelot: itd b worse if i didnt ask!!

agentdanvers: you don’t even know what I look like?

lancelot: im flexible

speedygonzales: [phrasing.jpg]

newandimproved: I can’t believe you just asked that

lancelot: uve known me literally all my life how is this still suprising??

betterthanyou: [alex.jpg]

betterthanyou: so now you kno what she looks like ;)

smoakandmirrors: oh wow

speedygonzales: ur like super hot

agentdanvers: lucy why

vixen: Did something just happen?

puppydanvers: woah, who are you???

smoakandmirrors: amaya??? you unmuted the chat???

vixen: For the moment, yes.

quicksort: sorry, I forgot to put you on the list! you don’t usually hang around here

smoakandmirrors: kara, alex, lucy, this is amaya!! she’s from the 50s!! she’s awesome!!

agentdanvers: wait what?

smoakandmirrors: and why, what do you mean?

vixen: Sara just looked down at her phone, and then spat out her drink into Raymond’s face.

betterthanyou: this is the actual best moment of my entire life

puppydanvers: alex is blushing

puppydanvers: just so you know

betterthanyou: this is now the actual best day of my entire life

agentdanvers: kara why

puppydanvers: :):):):)

betterthanyou: i no longer need to live, my consciousness is abt to Ascend

betterthanyou: tell j’onn i want my official cod to be alex danvers gay ass

agentdanvers: christ lucy

betterthanyou: ur all invited to my funeral, clothings optional

vixen: I’m guessing that this isn’t something that needs my attention.

speedygonzales: probably not

smoakandmirrors: bye amaya!!!! it’s nice to see you!!!

lancelot: ok im back

lancelot: also damn danvers

betterthanyou: back at it again with the sexy face

lancelot: ok noah fence danvers bc ur like the hottest person ive seen

lancelot: but i think lucy might be my actual soulmate

agentdanvers: there is literally none taken you two seem perfect for each other

betterthanyou: after everything ive done for u ur just gonna do me like that huh

agentdanvers: you tried to arrest me?

betterthanyou: why do u always have to get stuck on the bad parts??

lancelot: yes i hate it when ppl do that

newandimproved: Do you really want to go there Sara?

lancelot: or we cud talk abt smth else

newandimproved: That’s what I thought

agentdanvers: can we go back to how amaya is from the 50s? because what

lancelot: yh me and amaya (an the rest of our team) r timetravellers

puppydanvers: what!!!!!!

speedygonzales: ikr??

lancelot: and im the captain of a timeship nbd

betterthanyou: well ok then

agentdanvers: how is that even possible? how does that even work?

lancelot: idk i just fly the ship and lead the team

agentdanvers: how can you be a time traveller and not understand time travel?

lancelot: u just gotta not sweat the small stuff

agentdanvers: the small stuff? you’re talking about time travel

lancelot: yh but its jst basically another day 4 me

lancelot: well actually less than a day bc nate pissed gideon off and now were on 22 hr cycles

lancelot: gideons the ships ai btw

lancelot: shes v petty and v hot

snowqueen: Isn’t she a blue disembodied head?

lancelot: well yh but when we were in the cretaceous we went into rips mind to unbrainwash him and we met a human version of her there

lancelot: shes flirts a lot and im like 99% sure she made out w/ rip when we left

agentdanvers: ?????

lancelot: what

agentdanvers: you’re talking about talking to the autonomous ai that controls your time ship

lancelot: yh??

agentdanvers: while you were in someone’s mind, while you were in the cretaceous period

agentdanvers: how are you so unaffected

lancelot: u kno i think its dying??? stuff seems less surprising after uve been resurrected

betterthanyou: ?????????????????

puppydanvers: is your earth always like this?????

quicksort: you get used to it

newandimproved: No you were always like this

speedygonzales: maybe its just a star city thing

smoakandmirrors: no bc then digg wouldn’t always be so surprised

speedygonzales: tru

puppydanvers: omg I wish you guys could see alex rn

puppydanvers: she’s just pacing around and waving her arms in the air

smoakandmirrors: just try not to think about it alex

speedygonzales: yh sara isnt known 4 being srs abt this kind of stuff

lancelot: and u r??????

speedygonzales: …ok u got me there

lancelot: besides arent ur lives sort of ridiculous anyway???

lancelot: like dont u guys fite aliens???

betterthanyou: ok yh tru

quicksort: you guys know aliens????

puppydanvers: ?????????????

speedygonzales: omg ur abt to make jesses gotdamn mind

quicksort: ???

puppydanvers: I’m an alien

quicksort: REALLY!!!

puppydanvers: yes!! :D

puppydanvers: and our boss is an alien too

quicksort: !!!!!

quicksort: that is so cool!!!

quicksort: do you have alien superpowers????

speedygonzales: she has like 50 and theyre awesome

puppydanvers: I don’t have that many! and I only have them bc of earth’s sun + gravity

quicksort: oh that sounds fascinating

quicksort: how does that work???

snowqueen: I was wondering about that when we met

snowqueen: Would you ever let me take a look at your DNA?

quicksort: if she does you’ve got to let me see too, I want to compare it to ours

snowqueen: Ours meaning metas or ours meaning human?

quicksort: both? I mean, we can get dna from both right?

snowqueen: Easily, and we need to do brain scans

quicksort: ooh yes

irisbest: guys, maybe tone it down a bit???

irisbest: you’re starting to sound like mad scientists

quicksort: I can’t help it!! it’s really interesting! 

puppydanvers: you should probably set up a meeting with alex, she’s the bio nerd

smoakandmirrors: wait i thought you were some sort of secret agent

agentsdanvers: yeah, but I have a phd in bioengineering

lancelot: ur a doctor 2???

betterthanyou: and she surfs 2

lancelot: jfc

betterthanyou: ikr????

agentdanvers: you guys know that I can see everything you’re writing?

betterthanyou: wud u like us to create a separate chat where we talk abt how hot u r?

agentdanvers: no thank you

puppydanvers: you could invite maggie!

agentdanvers: KARA DON’T YOU DARE

betterthanyou: did i ever tell u ur my fave danvers?

agentdanvers: I’LL TELL MOM

puppydanvers: woah too far alex

puppydanvers: it was just a joke don’t tell mom


agentdanvers has left the group


betterthanyou: uh oh



puppydanvers has left the group


smoakandmirrors: i guess sisters are the same in every universe

betterthanyou: ugh dont i know it

newandimproved: Are you older or younger?

betterthanyou: younger

speedygonzales: younger sisters r the best!!!!

irisbest: hey!!!

newandimproved: Seriously??

lancelot: sry guys, younger sisters are way better than older

newandimproved: That’s not what you said when I got my first car

lancelot: laurel

lancelot: i hate to tell u this

lancelot: but ive been driving since i was 14

newandimproved: Wait did you scratch my first car????

newandimproved: You said it was the neighbor!!!

lancelot: well it was nice meeting u all g2g


lancelot has left the group


newandimproved: I’m going to kill her


newandimproved has left the group


snowqueen: Isn’t Sara still on the Waverider?

speedygonzales: oh belive me laurel will find a way

betterthanyou: guys sorry i g2g i cant get hold of either of the danvers and j’onn jst sent me a dozen texts in a row

betterthanyou: i have to make sure they havent destroyed the deo


betterthanyou has left the group


smoakandmirrors: yep, the same in every universe

Chapter Text

smoakandmirrors changed the group name to whatthehell!!!!


smoakandmirrors added newandimproved and lancelot to whatthehell!!!!


smoakandmirrors: guys what the hell is happening in central?????

speedygonzales: y whats going on??

snowqueen: What do you mean?

smoakandmirrors: giant gorillas????

snowqueen: Oh, that

irisbest: it’s a long story, but nobody’s seriously hurt

thirdtimesthecharm: yeah, it just happens sometimes

smoakandmirrors: ???????

smoakandmirrors: what the hell is wrong with you people

smoakandmirrors: i can’t believe that you guys think people from star are weird

lancelot: WAIT A MINUTE

newandimproved: Felicity, what have you done???

smoakandmirrors: ?????

speedygonzales: DID U JST SAY GIANT GORILLAS??

smoakandmirrors: oh no laurel i’m so sorry

irisbest: guys don’t

quicksort: ???


lancelot changed their name to harambe


speedygonzales: damnit i was gonna do that!!!!

newandimproved: Change it back

harambe: cant

quicksort: What does it mean?

snowqueen: I don’t know?

smoakandmirrors: how can you not know????

irisbest: we don’t really do memes in star labs

speedygonzales: NO MEMES????????

speedygonzales: what do u do?????

snowqueen: We fight crime?

irisbest: bad experiments mostly. and a lot of singing

smoakandmirrors: so you really don’t know what this is about????

snowqueen: No?

harambe: oh you sweet summer child

snowqueen: No I know that one, it’s Game of Thrones!

speedygonzales: wow

newandimproved: Can you two just stop???

harambe: u can stop bad guys but u cant stop these dank memes

newandimproved: I hate you

quicksort: so what is harambe??

thirdtimesthecharm: no idea

speedygonzales: what!!!!!

speedygonzales: y do i even hang out w/ u ppl???????

thirdtimesthecharm: Well I have been kinda busy over the last few years

thirdtimesthecharm: I missed a few things

speedygonzales: oh god sorry!!!

thirdtimesthecharm: no it’s okay I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad

irisbest: he was this gorilla that died and the internet went nuts over it

smoakandmirrors: you mean they went bananas over it

speedygonzales: omg

newandimproved: Stop enabling them!!

smoakandmirrors: i can’t help it!!!

harambe: sry guys, but fliss belongs w/ us as a True Memelord™

newandimproved: I can’t believe I brought you back to life for this

harambe: u dont choose the memelife, the memelife chooses u

newandimproved: I’m a lawyer and a vigilante how the hell did I even get to this conversation

harambe: while u were studying law i studied the blade

quicksort: I feel like this is why amaya won’t talk to us

irisbest: okay guys seriously, can you stop for a second?

irisbest: I have something to tell you

newandimproved: Yes, please, anything apart from this

irisbest: and sara first you have to change your name

harambe: what no

irisbest: please?

irisbest: this is important news and I can’t take you seriously

harambe: ugh fine


harambe changed their name to lancelot


irisbest: thanks

lancelot: this better be some news

irisbest: okay so

irisbest: barry and I are getting married!!!!

newandimproved: Congratulations!!

thirdtimesthecharm: congrats!

smoakandmirrors: mazel tov!!!

smoakandmirrors: and finally

speedygonzales: u know im still the richest person here, in case u need any funding

smoakandmirrors: *cough* humble brag *cough*

speedygonzales: its not my fault u guys keep losing ur companies

smoakandmirrors: wow

lancelot: congrats

lancelot: maid of honor or gtfo

newandimproved: Sara

lancelot: relax laur im kidding, i kno its cait

snowqueen: No it’s not

irisbest: ????? yes it is??

irisbest: who else would it be???

irisbest: cait????

snowqueen: Really?

irisbest: yes really, you’re my best friend you idiot

snowqueen: Oh

irisbest: I mean, I was gonna ask you to your face

lancelot: shit sorry

irisbest: I guess at least this way none of us are crying

newandimproved: Felicity’s crying

smoakandmirrors: i’m not ashamed of my emotions

irisbest: we’ve been through so much together

irisbest: of course I want you by my side for this

irisbest: though you know I’m asking you, not telling you, right?

irisbest: you don’t have to say yes

snowqueen: Are you sure?

irisbest: if you mean am I sure you don’t have to say yes: yes

irisbest: if you mean do I want you to be my maid of honor: yes

irisbest: re: best friend, re: idiot

snowqueen: I don’t know that I’ll be any good at it, but yes

irisbest: you’ll be great at it

snowqueen: And that isn’t really how ‘re:’ works

lancelot: she said yes!

irisbest: oh and since we’re doing this, felicity?

smoakandmirrors: yes?

irisbest: I know that the timing’s always wrong in this line of work

irisbest: and that maybe something will come up before we get to it

irisbest: but will you be one of my bridesmaids?

irisbest: felicity????

irisbest: don’t leave me hanging here

smoakandmirrors: sorry, yes!!!!! of course yes!!!!

newandimproved: She’s actually full on sobbing now

smoakandmirrors: shu t up laurel

irisbest: sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i’m not crying

newandimproved: Yeah she is

lancelot: man this days chat has been a ride

speedygonzales: from memes to felicity sobbing

newandimproved: Felicity: Stop making fun of me I am a small person with big feelings

speedygonzales: st op maekign fnu off me,,,, i a m a smol personn wiht bigge feelligns

smoakandmirrors: i hate you both

lancelot: anyone else got any big revelations???? might as well get them out now

quicksort: kind of, though I don’t know how it compares to iris’ news

irisbest: no if this is what I think it is, then it is important!

speedygonzales: u kno, for a reporter, that wasnt a great sentence

irisbest: bite me queen

irisbest: don’t even think about it sara

lancelot: damn west, ur fast

irisbest: I have to be, to keep up with three speedsters

irisbest: speaking of, sorry jesse, go ahead

quicksort: okay, so I’m moving to your earth

speedygonzales: really???

quicksort: yes! but I don’t know for how long

speedygonzales: we gotta meet!!

quicksort: yes!!!

speedygonzales: ok so: u me jax wally roy and sin need to meet up and start a club

newandimproved: Ooh baby vigilantes!!

speedygonzales: im a adult!!!!

quicksort: so am I!!

irisbest: oh you guys are adorable

smoakandmirrors: you should call yourselves young justice

speedygonzales: felicity!!!

smoakandmirrors: that’s what you get for making fun of me

irisbest: or teen titans

smoakandmirrors: ooh alliteration, nice

Chapter Text

lancelot changed the group name to P-A-R-T-WHY???


lancelot: so i had an idea

speedygonzales: BC I GOTTA

speedygonzales: sorry

lancelot: nah i figured some1 wud

lancelot: ok so i had an idea

lancelot: so i have a time ship

newandimproved: Wow, really? I never would’ve guessed

lancelot: ok salty u can go last

smoakandmirrors: last for what???

lancelot: so i was thinkin i cud take u guys places for ur bdays??

speedygonzales: srsly????

lancelot: yup

lancelot: well within reason

lancelot: but yup

lancelot: tho wed have to work out a system for who goes when

newandimproved: Wouldn’t we go by whoever’s birthday comes first?

lancelot: i am literally floating in a timeless void rn try again

lancelot: and i already said ur last so

snowqueen: Isn’t it dangerous to mess with time like this?

lancelot: yh for team flash maybe

irisbest: wow thanks

lancelot: but we r time masters

smoakandmirrors: didn’t you literally blow up the actual time masters

lancelot: fliss

lancelot: felicity

lancelot: i cant hear u over the sound of the timeship im piloting and all the people weve saved

lancelot: anyway

lancelot: who wants to go where

lancelot: well???

smoakandmirrors: i’m thinking

snowqueen: Yes, I want to pick the perfect place

lancelot: ok we already kno fliss and cait and jesse are gonna pick somewhere nerdy af so what abt the rest of u??

quicksort: hey!!

smoakandmirrors: i know i should be offended but you’re 100% right

thirdtimesthecharm: where was your favorite place?

lancelot: probably the wild west its awesome

lancelot: u can just get drunk and shoot people and nobody blinks

newandimproved: I vote not there

lancelot: also dont go to the 50s unless u like queerphobia sexism and racism

lancelot: 2/10 do not recommend

irisbest: what was the 2????

newandimproved: It was because of a hot person, wasn’t it?

lancelot: sometimes it scares me how well u kno me

smoakandmirrors: what about like a premiere of a famous film?

lancelot: if ur thinking star wars rays already booked it for his bday

smoakandmirrors: can i go with him??????

lancelot: ill ask him later but lbr hes gonna say yes

speedygonzales: guys

speedygonzales: guYS

speedygonzales: WOODSTOCK

irisbest: oh!!

lancelot: im taking kendra there

lancelot: but we cud make it a girls day out if u want??

irisbest: yes!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i vote yes!!

thirdtimesthecharm: thirded!

newandimproved: Fourthed!

speedygonzales: it was my idea so u technically fifthed

newandimproved: Do you really want to get into semantics with a lawyer?

smoakandmirrors: wait, where is kendra???

lancelot: idk shes travelling the world finding herself or something

smoakandmirrors: really? where did she get the money?

lancelot: think abt what u just said

smoakandmirrors: ???

smoakandmirrors: oh yeah, wings

thirdtimesthecharm: should I even ask??

irisbest: cisco’s ex-girlfriend turned out to be a reincarnated hawk goddess

thirdtimesthecharm: oh

lancelot: shell love this, ill add her to this when she gets back in touch

lancelot: anyway what abt u cait? do u want to come with?

snowqueen: It sounds like it’s going to be a trainwreck, so sure

speedygonzales: damn caitlin

snowqueen: Sorry

snowqueen: Bad day

lancelot: nah its cool i grew up with laurel and her default mode is bitchy

newandimproved: Hate you

lancelot: and bc of that ive got like a super thick skin so if u ever need to yell at some1 im here

snowqueen: That’s a weirdly nice offer?

lancelot: thats my speciality

snowqueen: I’ll think about it, thanks

lancelot: no prob

newandimproved: You know you can be nice to someone without being mean to someone else at the same time

lancelot: no i cant it physically pains me

quicksort: guys quick question

quicksort: what’s woodstock

irisbest: it was an iconic american music festival in the 60s

lancelot: basically sex drugs and rock n roll

lancelot: wait shit laur r u going 2 be ok?

newandimproved: Thanks for the worry, but I know my limits

newandimproved: And I’m pretty sure you guys are going to need a sober friend

snowqueen: Three, actually

smoakandmirrors: you’re not drinking?

lancelot: and who else???

snowqueen: I don’t entirely trust my control over my powers when fully sober, so I’m not even going to chance alcohol

snowqueen: And Jesse’s underage

quicksort: not on my earth I’m not!!!

lancelot: or in ny in the 60s

irisbest: sara!!!

lancelot: not that im trying to undermine u or anything

irisbest: uh huh

snowqueen: Sorry Jesse, but Harry wouldn’t be happy with us if we let you drink

irisbest: yeah, I’ve gotta go with cait, your dad would kill us

quicksort: yeah I get that a lot

lancelot: ok so woodstock for thea and star wars for fliss, any other ideas??

lancelot: oh wait!!

newandimproved: What?

lancelot: do u think i shud ask team supergirl??

quicksort: it would be nice having other people who don’t know what you guys are talking about

smoakandmirrors: wait, where are they???

irisbest: weren’t you meant to add them back to the main chat???

smoakandmirrors: whoops


lancelot added agentdanvers, betterthanyou and puppydanvers to the group P-A-R-T-WHY???


smoakandmirrors: dinah, this is kara, alex and lucy!!

thirdtimesthecharm: hi, I’m dinah

agentdanvers: I’m alex

betterthanyou: lucy

agentdanvers: and kara’s out patrolling and her phone’s on silent so she probably won’t see any of this

lancelot: ah, a superheros work is never done

newandimproved: The last time you were in Star City you spent two whole days watching Ghost Hunters

lancelot: did i ask???

smoakandmirrors: anyway i’m sorry i forgot to add you guys back!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i was too busy freaking out over the giant meta-gorilla invasion!!!

agentdanvers: that’s okay, we’ve been dealing with a lot recently

agentdanvers: wait what??

agentdanvers: what is wrong with your earth

betterthanyou: im starting to feel like ur earth is the fun earth

speedygonzales: damn straight

lancelot: as if any1 in this chat is straight

speedygonzales: well u got me there

newandimproved: I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that you’ve been dealing with?

agentdanvers: I really don’t

betterthanyou: so apart from gorillas whats happening w/ u guys??

lancelot: read up the chat

betterthanyou: oh!!!!!

agentdanvers: I'm sorry you guys know a reincarnated hawk goddess??

lancelot: yh one time she nearly killed me it was awesome

agentdanvers: you know what I'm not even going to ask

newandimproved: You get used to it

lancelot: so anyway what do u otherearthers think??

lancelot: wanna come to this earths version of woodstock???

agentdanvers: I can’t believe that you’re using timetravel to give people vacations

lancelot: well what else would i use it for???

lancelot: screwing up the timeline for the tenth time???

lancelot: *cough* team flash *cough*

irisbest: seriously??? from you???

agentdanvers: I’m getting the feeling that I should come just to keep most of you out of trouble

newandimproved: Yeah that feeling’s pretty usual around here

lancelot: imma take that as a yes

lancelot: lane????

betterthanyou: oh yh of course, but also:

betterthanyou: do u have hamilton on ur earth???

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!

irisbest: why did none of us think of that???

smoakandmirrors: we have to go to the opening night!!!

lancelot: yes!!!!!!!

lancelot: lane ur a genius!!!!!

betterthanyou: oh i kno

quicksort: seriously, still???

speedygonzales: ????

quicksort: okay so what’s hamilton?

newandimproved: Oh no

agentdanvers: what have you done???

quicksort: ?????


agentdanvers: stopppp



snowqueen: Please stop



smoakandmirrors: goddamnit iris!!!

irisbest: i guess you threw away your shot

lancelot: thats what u get when u wait for it

quicksort: what’s happening???

betterthanyou: hey at least u were in the room where it happened

thirdtimesthecharm: I don’t really know? I missed whatever this is

newandimproved: Hamilton’s a hip hop musical and these guys are obsessed with it

snowqueen: This is just going to be Hamilton references now, isn’t it

agentdanvers: yep


newandimproved created the group nope


newandimproved added snowqueen and agentdanvers to the group nope


newandimproved: Needed somewhere away from that

agentdanvers: oh thank god

snowqueen: No Jesse or Dinah?

newandimproved: I try not to hold grudges, but I only just got them to stop doing this

newandimproved: And I figured Dinah should get a chance to experience this

newandimproved: The last time this happened, Felicity changed everyone’s ringtones to songs from the soundtrack

snowqueen: Wow, I forgot about that

agentdanvers: on her phone or yours?

snowqueen: Ours

agentdanvers: then why did you let her have your phones then?

newandimproved: We didn’t, she’s a hacker

agentdanvers: ah, I know what that’s like

agentdanvers: what did you get anyway?

snowqueen: A Winter’s Ball

newandimproved: Burn

agentdanvers: okay, I get winters ball is for the pun but why burn?

newandimproved: Right, I keep forgetting that you don’t know our pasts

newandimproved: It’s kind of a long story

agentdanvers: okay but changing ringtones doesn’t sound that bad

snowqueen: Have you ever heard a room full of criminals singing The Story of Tonight? Because I have

agentdanvers: what

newandimproved: Stop hanging out in supervillains’ lairs then

agentdanvers: again: what

snowqueen: It’s a long story

newandimproved: I mean it’s not that long

snowqueen: And Cisco and Lisa keep forcing me to listen to the soundtrack to ‘get a better appreciation’ of it

newandimproved: A better appreciation?

snowqueen: I didn’t really like it?

agentdavers: wait, really?

snowqueen: I get why other people would, but it’s not really my thing

newandimproved: Don’t let any of the others hear you say that

snowqueen: Oh believe me, I’ve learnt from my mistakes

agentdanvers: that’s cute and all

agentdanvers: but lucy and kara and vasquez once sung the schuyler sisters for SIX HOURS ON A LOOP

agentdanvers: SIX HOURS

agentdanvers: ON A LOOP

newandimproved: Jesus

agentdanvers: and my boss is telepathic and it got stuck in his head and he had the flu at the time so there was a lot of mental feedback

snowqueen: Okay, you win

agentdanvers: there were no winners that day

Chapter Text

lancelot created the group question


lancelot added newandimproved, smoakandmirrors, speedygonzales and 2 others to the group question


lancelot: hey so is it incest if u make out with urself???

lancelot: askin 4 a friend

newandimproved: Why

snowqueen: I was having a good day

irisbest: wtf

speedygonzales: we all kno the friend is u

smoakandmirrors: no but i think it’s called selfcest??

smoakandmirrors: also, wtf???

lancelot: long story

lancelot: wait here a sec

smoakandmirrors: i feel like every one of sara’s tales start with ‘long story’

newandimproved: They always have tbh


lancelot added saralance and amayajiwe to the group question


lancelot: guys this is future me and amaya from an alt reality

saralance: sup past nerds

amayajiwe: Hello

newandimproved: I don’t even know where to begin to ask

snowqueen: Isn’t it a bad idea to meet your past selves?

amayajiwe: Yes

saralance: super bad

lancelot: i think times alredy starting to break apart

smoakandmirrors: shouldn’t you guys maybe get on that???

lancelot: thats what she said

lancelot: and yh but we got time

amayajiwe: I don’t think we do? Isn’t that the whole problem?

saralance: nah we got time

speedygonzales: wiat if ur future sara then y is ur chat name so plain

saralance: up until like an hr ago i was evil future sara and she didnt do puns

speedygonzales: noooOOOOO!!!

speedygonzales: no pUNS!!!!

saralance: also she killed people for damian darkh so

saralance: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

speedygonzales: oh

irisbest: you seem pretty blase about it

saralance: ive got to the point where i just roll with it

saralance: plus ur all alive now anyway

smoakandmirrors: wait did you kill us???

saralance: werent u guys talking about selfcest

speedygonzales: u can c that swerve from space

newandimproved: Yes we were and can we not because you’re both my sister and I would rather not think about it

lancelot: cmon u mustve known id get round to this someday

speedygonzales: tbh im surprised it wasnt sooner

amayajiwe: What are you talking about?

irisbest: sara wants to make out with herself

amayajiwe: Oh

amayajiwe: You can’t

saralance: bc it will rip time apart?

saralance: lol rip time

amayajiwe: Well, yes

amayajiwe: As well as the fact that it seems like it would be a disgusting abomination

lancelot: damn amaya tell us how u rlly feel

saralance: ur no fun amaya

amayajiwe: But also you’re in a relationship?

lancelot: u r?????

saralance: i am????

amayajiwe: Yes?

saralance: OH

saralance: im in a relationship

lancelot: how can u be in a relationship ur from like a month into the future???

saralance: a yr actually, and we had whole fake lives

snowqueen: So you’re in a fake relationship?

saralance: no its real i just didnt kno it was real until like 5 mins ago

speedygonzales: ohhhhhh!!!

lancelot: ???

speedygonzales: ur with amaya!!

lancelot: i am?!!?!

speedygonzales: dude i didnt think u had that much game

saralance: 1st of all i have way more game than anyone u have ever or will ever meet

irisbest: and a bigger ego

saralance: and 2nd she isnt with amaya im with amaya big difference

speedygonzales: ur?? the same?? person??

lancelot: sort of but no

saralance: were 2 different people who hapen to hav the same face and personality an upbringing

newandimproved: And spelling proficiency

lancelot: and irritating big sister

smoakandmirrors: okay but you know that makes no sense

lancelot: its a timetraveller thing

irisbest: I’m talking to barry and he says that makes no sense either

saralance: ok but ur bf is barely a timetraveller

lancelot: hes like a timehopper at best

saralance: a timeskipper

lancelot: a timetripper

irisbest: it’s not fair for you guys to double time me

irisbest: wait no I just realised what I said please don’t

lancelot: too easy

saralance: not as easy as it is 4 ur bf to screw up the timeline

lancelot: ohhhhh!!!

saralance: ohhhhhh!!

lancelot: [ohhhh.mp3]

lancelot: thats the whole team (minus rip) btw, we recorded it when we were drunk

amayajiwe: I don’t remember that?

saralance: no it was the og legends

lancelot: b4 u and nate joined

saralance: it was originally 4 vandal savage but also we sent it to the time masters b4 we blew them up

smoakandmirrors: there’s something seriously wrong with your team

saralance: y would u say that???

lancelot: do u want me 2 tell ray u jst said that??? itd make him cry y do u wanna make ray cry???

smoakandmirrors: ??????

smoakandmirrors: wtf sara

lancelot: what?

saralance: what?

newandimproved: Wow, that could get old fast

lancelot: excuse u were the pinnacle of entertainment

saralance: u ppl r Blessed to hav us

snowqueen: I don’t think we are

amayajiwe: I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think we might have to go now

smoakandmirrors: is something happening???

lancelot: timequake

speedygonzales: wtf

saralance: like earthquake but time

speedygonzales: yh i figured it was an exclamation not question

saralance: oh, well yh we have to go b4 time like destroys itsefl

saralance: so bye guys

amayajiwe: It was nice to speak to you all again

amayajiwe: and it was a honor to fight by your sides


amayajiwe has left the group


saralance: i love u losers

saralance: especially u laurel

saralance: never stop fighting


saralance has left the group


lancelot: im gonna have to leave 4 a bit bc i kinda need to focus on not destroying reality

lancelot: so ill c u guys topside i guess


lancelot has left the group


speedygonzales: its not just me who thinks those goodbyes sounded pretty final right?

smoakandmirrors: they’re from an alternate future

newandimproved: What does that mean exactly?

snowqueen: The only way this reality can stay intact is if that one never existed

newandimproved: So I just watched my sister die again is what you’re saying

irisbest: I’m so sorry guys but that’s how it works

snowqueen: They must’ve known that the whole time they were talking to us

speedygonzales: so they wasted their last few hrs talking to us

newandimproved: Maybe not

speedygonzales: what do u mean

smoakandmirrors: well they knew right? they wouldn’t have been here if they didn’t think it was important

smoakandmirrors: and this is sara we’re talking about

speedygonzales: so?

newandimproved: So I think this is exactly the way she’d want one of her last conversations to go





saralance created the group sorry


saralance added smoakandmirrors to the group sorry


saralance: felicity i dont know if u will ever read this

saralance: but i love u and im so sorry

saralance: and i promise ill make this right

smoakandmirrors: ????????

smoakandmirrors: hello????


smoakandmirrors added lancelot to the group sorry


smoakandmirrors: sara????

lancelot: yo whatsup

smoakandmirrors: what is this??

lancelot: whats what

smoakandmirrors: look up the chat

lancelot: ok

lancelot: wtf??

lancelot: i didnt write this??

smoakandmirrors: do you think its from alt!future you?

lancelot: oh

lancelot: it might be from b4 she travelled back in time

smoakandmirrors: she didn’t answer me when i asked if she killed any of us

lancelot: i dont remember any of her life if thats what ur asking

lancelot: but she said her and amaya were vigilante hunters

lancelot: and if theres anyone i kno that would still end up as a vigilante even after realitys been messed with, its u

smoakandmirrors: oh

lancelot: fliss??

lancelot: ????

smoakandmirrors: i think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

lancelot: shut up nerd

smoakandmirrors: love you too

lancelot: ew

Chapter Text

lancelot has created the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot added smoakandmirrors to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey fliss can i ask u some questions

smoakandmirrors: oh no

smoakandmirrors: what have you done to the timeline now???

lancelot: what????? we havent done anything

smoakandmirrors: uh huh

lancelot: hey so dinosaurs are still extinct right


smoakandmirrors has left the group


lancelot: rude


lancelot added speedygonzales to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey speedy fliss is ignoring me

speedygonzales: yh u kno its not personal felicitys just been pretty angry lately

lancelot: what????? since when????

speedygonzales: since she had a massive argument w/ ollie and ended up fighting the team and argus???

speedygonzales: and then her and ollie got locked in the base and nearly died???

lancelot: right

speedygonzales: so yh were kinda busy rn

lancelot: but i have important things to tlk abt!!!

speedygonzales: yh im sure u do but seriously were really busy

speedygonzales: actually it wud be helpful if u guys came here and helped us out???

lancelot: i cant rite now

speedygonzales: u messed up the timeline again huh?

lancelot: maybe

speedygonzales: uve fixed it b4 im sure itll be fine

lancelot: thats not rlly helpful

speedygonzales: maybe go ask the other lance

lancelot: but laurel will jst do her whol disappointed routine

speedygonzales: srry dude


speedygonzales has left the group


lancelot added newandimproved to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey sis its been ages

newandimproved: What do you want?

lancelot: maybe i jst want to tlk to my beautiful sis who i love

newandimproved: Wow

newandimproved: Hey, I don’t have a disappointed routine!!

lancelot: only u wud read up the chat ur such a lawyer

lancelot: and yh u do

newandimproved: Sara, I wish I could help but everything’s pretty hectic right now

newandimproved: The DA being unmasked as a serial killer means we have to go over all of his old cases

lancelot: wait what?????

newandimproved: ????

newandimproved: My boss turned out to be Prometheus, remember??

lancelot: oh, right

newandimproved: And the whole office is under scrutiny

newandimproved: That’s not even getting into everything on the vigilante side of things

newandimproved: Besides, like Thea says, this happens to you guys a lot and you always fix it

lancelot: ughhhh

newandimproved: I believe in you

lancelot: wow now everythings magically fixed thanx 4 that belief laurel

newandimproved: Okay now I’m disappointed

lancelot: told u


newandimproved has left the group


lancelot added thirdtimesthecharm to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey dinah could i ask u some things???

thirdtimesthecharm: okay? you’ll have to be quick though we’re pretty busy

lancelot: hey so i kno this probably sounds weird but

lancelot: when was the convo w/ my and amaya alt future selves???

thirdtimesthecharm: about a month and a bit ago maybe?

thirdtimesthecharm: why?

lancelot: bc it was ~20mins ago 4 me

thirdtimesthecharm: you’re a time traveller though right?

lancelot: yh but gideon should still sync my timeline relative to urs

thirdtimesthecharm: oh

lancelot: time isnt working properly

thirdtimesthecharm: well I wish I could help with whatever the hell that means but this really isn’t my area

thirdtimesthecharm: and we’re kind of swamped right now

thirdtimesthecharm: I’d suggest talking to team flash but I think they’re busier than us right now

lancelot: well yh i was gonna ask them 1st

lancelot: but team flash hates me 4 making fun of them all the time

thirdtimesthecharm: I’m pretty sure they don’t hate you?

thirdtimethecharm: and I don’t think they’d be that petty anyway

lancelot: i would

thirdtimesthecharm: yeah I figured

thirdtimesthecharm: I really do have to go now, you might just have to chance it with team flash

lancelot: thanx i guess


thirdtimesthecharm has left the group


lancelot added irisbest to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey iris can i talk to u 4 a sec

lancelot: its abt the timeline

irisbest: I’d love to help but we’re pretty busy atm, what with trying to stop myself from dying and everything

lancelot: of course, sorry

irisbest: and trying to stop 2 of my best friends from killing us all

lancelot: wait caitlins killer frost now???

irisbest: yes??? has been for a while now

lancelot: right, yeah

lancelot: wait and who else is trying to kill u???

lancelot: wait no dont tell me!!!

irisbest: ???

irisbest: okay??

lancelot: long story

irisbest: right

irisbest: besides, you seriously want my help after all the times you made fun of us for messing up the timeline??

lancelot: but u guys do it so often!!!

irisbest: yeah no

lancelot: cmon iris ur meant to be better than me

irisbest: I am but that doesn’t make me any more able to help you rn

irisbest: can’t you use time travel to just ask for help when we’ve got through this?

lancelot: well i mean i could

irisbest: great! I’ll see you then

lancelot: wait!!!

lancelot: what abt jesse, is she w/ u??

irisbest: you know we can’t get a hold of her rn

lancelot: sorry i forgot

irisbest: it’s okay, we’ll just catch up later

lancelot: sure lets do that


irisbest has left the group


lancelot added snowqueen to the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot: hey so im guessing this is probably a long shot but time is maybe broken and i could use ur help

snowqueen: Oh I’d love to

lancelot: wait rlly??

snowqueen: No

lancelot: turning evil rlly helped u w/ sarcasm huh

snowqueen: Did you honestly think I’d care?

lancelot: idk maybe??

lancelot: i mean time is sometjing u kinda need

lancelot: and apparently every1 is super busy 2day

lancelot: lol super busy

snowqueen: Well you were wrong

snowqueen: You can destroy the whole of reality for all I care

lancelot: u dont mean that

snowqueen: Don’t tell me what I mean

lancelot: ur right i shouldnt have said that

snowqueen: Either fix it yourself or find someone who hasn’t grown tired of your constant mistakes

lancelot: ok 1st of all: rude

lancelot: 2nd: thats not actually a bad idea

snowqueen: I’m so glad I could help

lancelot: 3rd: im not gonna hold this against u bc i kno ur in a lot of pain rn


snowqueen has left the group


lancelot deleted the group nottoworryanyonebut


lancelot created the group hey


lancelot added puppydanvers, agentdanvers and betterthanyou to the group hey


lancelot: hey guys who wants to do a fun quiz abt history???

Chapter Text


smoakandmirrors: guys has anyone heard from sara???

smoakandmirrors: because i keep trying to get in touch with ray and he isn’t answering

smoakandmirrors: so i tried sara and neither is she or amaya

newandimproved: I haven’t heard from her since she introduced us to her alternate self, why?

speedygonzales: i havent seen her either

newandimproved: This is the legends we’re talking about, you know they get in and out of trouble very quickly

smoakandmirrors: yh which is good for them but not good for me rn

smoakandmirrors: and i can’t get cisco either

smoakandmirrors: or anyone on team flash actually

speedygonzales: yh theyre busy

smoakandmirrors: how do you know???

speedygonzales: i told u we were gonna meet up w/ all the other young ppl in this game

speedygonzales: and we hav a groupchat now

speedygonzales: and jesse and wally have been telling me whats going down in central and its p heavy

speedygonzales: i dont kno if theyd want me to tell u guys

speedygonzales: sorry

newandimproved: No we understand

smoakandmirrors: great

smoakandmirrors: just look at this

smoakandmirrors: [001.jpeg]

smoakandmirrors: i need to deactivate that very quickly without blowing us all up

smoakandmirrors: and i don’t have a clue and i figured ray or cisco could help

newandimproved: What about Curtis?

smoakandmirrors: curtis is on what we hope is a date with paul and he’s turned his phone off

newandimproved: I’m guessing Jesse’s busy too?

speedygonzales: i think so yh, sry

puppydanvers: Hi, I don’t mean to interrupt but maybe I could help?

speedygonzales: jesus i forgot u guys were even here!!!

smoakandmirrors: no kara that’s fine, i’ll take help from anyone right now

smoakandmirrors: …that sounded worse than i meant it to

puppydanvers: No it’s okay, and I’m not actually Kara?

puppydanvers: She left her phone on the table and it kept beeping, so I looked down at it and saw your picture

puppydanvers: I’m really sorry for assuming, I can go if you want?

smoakandmirrors: honestly no i really need help and from what i know of kara she won’t mind

speedygonzales: so who r u exactly

puppydanvers: I’m a friend of Kara’s

speedygonzales: well that rly narrows it down

puppydanvers: I’m Lena

newandimproved: Hi Lena, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Laurel

puppydanvers: It’s nice to meet you too

speedygonzales: thea

smoakandmirrors: yh and i’m felicity, can you help?

puppydanvers: I think so, but I’ll need more pictures

smoakandmirrors: [002.jpeg]

smoakandmirrors: [003.jpeg]

smoakandmirrors: [004.jpeg]

smoakandmirrors: [005.jpeg]

smoakandmirrors: is that enough???

puppydanvers: hi it’s kara!!! lena says she might have enough to work with

puppydanvers: she’s gonna make some virtual mock ups to try and see how to dismantle it

puppydanvers: and then some other technical stuff I didn’t really understand, but it sounded impressive

smoakandmirrors: tell her thank you!!!! and also within the next 20 mins would be awesome

puppydanvers: she said she’ll try

smoakandmirrors: i mean i don’t mean to hurry her but anything past maybe 25 mins and we die

smoakandmirrors: so actually yh chop chop

puppydanvers: actually she’s going to make a group so you two can work with less distractions, is that okay?

smoakandmirrors: yes!!!

speedygonzales: bye felicity dont blow up

speedygonzales: so

speedygonzales: lena

puppydanvers: no it’s kara now, I took my phone back

speedygonzales: wow

puppydavnvers: ???

speedygonzales: damnit i need sara here to make innuendos w/

puppydanvers: oh! no, lena and I are just friends

speedygonzales: friends that u leave ur secret groupchat in full view of????

speddygonzales: unless she knows already

puppydanvers: she doesn’t

speedygonzales: friends that u leave ur secret groupchat in full view of????

puppydanvers: in my defence I needed to go the toilet and I forgot that my phone was unlocked and that I’d opened the chat

speedygonzales: thats a bad defence

speedygonzales: u wanna weigh in on this councillor?

newandimproved: Counsellor

speedygonzales: u knew what i meant

newandimproved: And yeah, that was a bad defence, sorry Kara

puppydanvers: are you a lawyer???

newandimproved: Yes?

puppydanvers: isn’t your other day job kind of illegal???

newandimproved: It’s more of a night time hobby, and I’m taking a break anyway

speedygonzales: isnt ur sister like a secret agent???

puppydanvers: exactly, she’s licensed by the government

speedygonzales: does she have

speedygonzales: *a licence to kill*

puppydanvers: yes?

speedygonzales: damn, hardcore

puppydanvers: so do the rest of you have law abiding jobs???

newandimproved: Pretty much

speedygonzales: nope im unemployed

newandimproved: Since when????

speedygonzales: uh like 3 hours ago

speedygonzales: i was thinking of bringing it up but felicity kept freaking out so

newandimproved: What happened???

speedygonzales: its a long story and i dont come off as too great in it

speedygonzales: but i quit, i wasnt fired

speedygonzales: its complicated

speedygonzales: i’ll tell u later

newandimproved: Okay

speedygonzales: no offence kara

puppydanvers: no it’s fine!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: guys we’re finished!!!!

smoakandmirrors: nobody’s going to blow up today!!!

puppydanvers: well done team!!!

puppydanvers: do you guys mind if I add lena to this now?

speedygonzales: yh sure

smoakandmirrors: i mean she did just save a good chunk of the city


puppydanvers added extrakale to the group P-A-R-T-WHY???


newandimproved: Oh god I forgot it was still called that


newandimproved changed the group name to thatwasabadnamesara


smoakandmirrors changed the group name to shesnotevenheregodamnit


smoakandmirrors: aren't you meant to be the mature one?????


speedygonzales changed the group name to shedoesntevengohere!!!


speedygonzales: couldnt not

smoakandmirrors: no that’s fair

speedygonzales: hey so anyway y r u named after a vegetable????

smoakandmirrors: yh i was meaning to ask that

puppydanvers: bc she’s the worst

extrakale: Because I’d rather not die before I’m forty

puppydanvers: the worst


extrakale changed their name to theboss


theboss: Better?

puppydanvers: I guess

speedygonzales: now y this name??

theboss: I’m the CEO of my company

speedygonzales: damn….

speedygonzales: hey do u hav any tips on how not to lose ur company????

speedygonzales: asking 4 a friend

smoakandmirrors: i hate you

theboss: Should I ask?

newandimproved: Probably not

theboss: So do you all work with Kara’s sister?

puppydanvers: yes

speedygonzales: sort of

smoakandmirrors: no

theboss: What?

speedygonzales: in a way, dont we all work together

speedygonzales: like arent we all connected in some way

theboss: I guess?

puppydanvers: a friend of theirs was passing through national city and he helped me out so I owed him a favour

puppydanvers: and when I went to repay that favour I met all of these guys

puppydanvers: and we’ve just kept in touch

puppydanvers: some of them work in the same field as alex, but they don’t technically work together

theboss: That makes a lot more sense

newandimproved: Yeah just ignore Thea, she tries to make everything into a conspiracy

speedygonzales: oh i wonder who i picked that up from

speedygonzales: maybe that lawyer i lived w/ 4 a while who sometimes sat up til 2am watching the history channel

newandimproved: Once

speedygonzales: yh once a week

theboss: You guys don’t really stay on a topic for too long do you?

smoakandmirrors: you’re lucky only half of us are here today, usually it’s just a mess

puppydanvers: speaking of, where is everyone???

smoakandmirrors: no idea, that’s why i was panicking

theboss: I could maybe try and help with that, if you wanted?

theboss: If you tell where they were last I could see if I have any people down there who could see if there’s something going on

smoakandmirrors: oh no that’s cool!!!! i’m not really worried

smoakandmirrors: this happens a lot

speedygonzales: yh theyre kind of flaky

speedygonzales: i mean ok yh some of them arent

speedygonzales: but some of them r

newandimproved: It’s okay, we all know who you’re talking about

speedygonzales: maybe i wasnt

smoakandmirrors: really

speedygonzales: ok yh i was tlking abt sara

newandimproved: My little sister, in case you were wondering

theboss: Oh, thank you for explaining

theboss: Are you sure I can’t help?

newandimproved: Yes, but thanks for asking

theboss: Well then I have to go, I have a meeting in ten minutes and I don’t want to be late

speedygonzales: wow a big business meeting, i wonder what thats like

speedygonzales: if only other ppl here knew how that felt

smoakandmirrors: seriously thea????

speedygonzales: yes i am seriously thea

smoakandmirrors: oh my godddd

newandimproved: You should probably leave now, while they’re distracted

theboss: Goodbye, it was nice meeting you all

smoakandmirrors: thanks for the help!!!!!

theboss: Anytime

newandimproved: And it was nice meeting you too

speedygonzales: ditto


theboss has left the group


newandimproved: I like her

puppydanvers: yeah she’s a great friend

smoakandmirrors: okay so friend or friend??????

speedygonzales: see????

Chapter Text

lancelot created the group hey


lancelot added smoakandmirrors to the group hey


smoakandmirrors: sara!!! are you okay????

lancelot: yh??? y????

smoakandmirrors: we were trying to get a hold of you an dthe other legends and we couldn’t reach you

lancelot: its a long story and ill explain it later

lancelot: and actually i was hoping to tlk to u

smoakandmirrors: oh okay

lancelot: r u ok?????

smoakandmirrors: yes?

lancelot: r u sure?????

smoakandmirrors: have you been talking to oliver???

lancelot: no i havent tlked to any1 y

lancelot: is this something to tlk abt

lancelot: *is there something to tlk abt

smoakandmirrors: wow never thought i’d see the day you’d correct your own spelling

lancelot: stop deflecting

smoakandmirrors: i’m not

lancelot: so nothings happening lately????

lancelot: no new friends? enemies? partners?

smoakandmirrors: nope

lancelot: well if ur just gonna lie to me then we might as well not even tlk

smoakandmirrors: i thought you said you didn’t talk to anyone

lancelot: i havent but i kno u, u make like 10 new friends a week

smoakandmirrors: no i don’t

lancelot: and oliver makes a new enemy every time he opens his mouth lbr

smoakandmirrors: okay fine, i’ve made some new friends

lancelot: oooooh spill

smoakandmirrors: they’re just this group of hackers

lancelot: awwww u found ur ppl

smoakandmirrors: well yeah

lancelot: r u making the old crew jealous

smoakandmirrors: not exactly

lancelot: explain

smoakandmirrors: i guess they don’t really like their methods

lancelot: and wbu???

smoakandmirrors: what about me

lancelot: do u like their methods? ur the best judge of character i kno

smoakandmirrors: i think they’re necessary

lancelot: thats not what i asked

smoakandmirrors: if i wasn’t comfortable with them then i wouldn’t work with them

lancelot: ok, i trust u

smoakandmirrors: thanks sara

lancelot: k and what abt bad guys???

smoakandmirrors: there’s a new bad guy in town, his name is prometheus and it’s pretty bad sara

smoakandmirrors: i think we might be in trouble

lancelot: id offer to help but i dont think i can

smoakandmirrors: i know, which is why i hadn’t brought it up before

lancelot: im sorry

smoakandmirrors: sara you’re protecting the whole of time, i get it

lancelot: i guess, i still wish i could help more

smoakandmirrors: i know

lancelot: anyway smoak

lancelot: i asked u abt 3 things and dont think i havent noticed u havent answered the last 1

smoakandmirrors: i had a boyfriend

lancelot: had???

smoakandmirrors: prometheus used oliver to murder him

lancelot: shit fliss, im so sorry, next time tell me to jst shut up

smoakandmirrors: it’s okay, i didn’t love him

smoakandmirrors: he loved me though

lancelot: r u expecting me to tell u that ur a bad person for not loving a guy back

lancelot: or that u shouldnt feel sad abt his death jst bc u didnt love him

lancelot: or that u should feel worse abt his death bc u were dating him bc im not gonna do any of those

lancelot: and if u ever think i would do any of those things then i will travel to 2017

lancelot: and i will punch u in the face free of charge

smoakandmirrors: thanks sara

lancelot: ur welcome felicity

lancelot: ur not a bad person fliss and u never could be

smoakandmirrors: you know i love you right?

lancelot: ugh fliss y do u hav to bring that mushy crap into this theres no need

smoakandmirrors: you literally did it first

lancelot: i just want u to be happy

lancelot: and i want u to be happy abt being happy

smoakandmirrors: bc that’s not mushy at all

lancelot: w/e

smoakandmirrors: and i don’t know how i feel right now

smoakandmirrors: kind of adrift i guess

smoakandmirrors: and maybe a bit isolated?

smoakandmirrors: i mean the others try but sometimes i’ve gotta have things not related to vigilantism you know?

smoakandmirrors: but i don’t know that i’d be able to date a civilian again

lancelot: hmmmmm

smoakandmirrors: what??????

smoakandmirrors: sara??????

smoakandmirrors: sara no middle name lance you better not be trying to set me up with someone

lancelot: well not now

smoakadnmirrors: thank god

lancelot: but 1 day

smoakandmirrors: no

lancelot: when u least expect it

smoakandmirrors: you’re making it worse!!!

lancelot: u didnt say no

smoakandmirrors: i said it like 3 messages ago!!!!!!

lancelot: i dunno i dont remember that

smoakandmirrors: i really hate you sometimes

lancelot: love u 2 fliss

smoakandmirrors: ughhhh

lancelot: kthxbye

smoakandmirrors: where are you going???

lancelot: gotta tlk 2 some1 else

lancelot: stay safe ok

smoakandmirrors: and you


lancelot deleted the group hey


lancelot created the group hey


lancelot added snowqueen to the group hey


lancelot: sup snow

snowqueen: Hello?

lancelot: so i kno this probably seems out of the blue, but r u ok???

snowqueen: Not particularly, but I’m dealing with it

snowqueen: Why are you asking?

lancelot: sometimes it feels like i cant rlly help u guys out bc im not there

lancelot: so im jst seeing if theres anything i can do

snowqueen: There isn’t really

lancelot: even talk??? bc i kno its not the same but i did have the whole need to kill ppl thing so

snowqueen: Except you didn’t have a soul

lancelot: right bc once they got my soul back everything was perfect right

snowqueen: You were cursed, that wasn’t your fault

lancelot: oh

snowqueen: What?

lancelot: u think this is ur fault

snowqueen: Of course it’s my fault, I’m the one doing these things

snowqueen: And I’m the one who’s going to hurt people

lancelot: but u dont kno thats gonna happen 4 sure

lancelot: and even if u did

lancelot: it still doesnt mean it would be ur fault

snowqueen: So you’re saying I shouldn’t take responsibility for my actions?

lancelot: not if u cant control those actions!!!

snowqueen: But it is me Sara, I am controlling those actions

lancelot: yh bc it rlly seems like this person im tlking to rn is some1 who wants to hurt ppl

snowqueen: I don’t want to hurt anyone

lancelot: do u want me to read that back 2 u

snowqueen: I mean I don’t want to right now, but I do when I’m like that

lancelot: like what? in pain? alone with no help?

snowqueen: I don’t need help, I need a cure

lancelot: ur v stubborn u kno

lancelot: u remind me a lot of laurel except laur turns her destruction inward

snowqueen: I’ve tried

lancelot: thats not even close to the point

lancelot: u cant just hold all that stuff in ok

snowqueen: So what should I do Sara? Let go of it all? Turn it on to everyone else?

lancelot: yes to the 1st and hell, maybe yes to the 2nd

lancelot: uve dealt w/ every1 elses shit maybe they should deal w/ urs

lancelot: look im sorry if this comes off a preachy

snowqueen: A little

lancelot: but ur mental health is important caitlin

snowqueen: Not when it’s affecting everybody else’s physical health

lancelot: and what makes their health more important than yours???

lancelot: ur mental health is just as important as every1 elses physical health

lancelot: maybe even more, since if it wasnt 4 u then theyd all be dead 10 times over

snowqueen: And maybe they’ll be dead anyway because of me

lancelot: were not gonna get anywhere r we

snowqueen: No

lancelot: i jst wanted to help u

snowqueen: You’re not

lancelot: no im not

lancelot: ok maybe ur right and this is inevitable and its gonna happen

lancelot: so new plan

lancelot: after this is over

lancelot: and it will be over caitlin, ur too strong 4 it not to be

lancelot: u hav 2 keep in touch ok

lancelot: im not saying u need to like join the legends or go on like regular nights out or anything

lancelot: jst a message every now and agsin so i kno ur still alive

lancelot: bc the guilt is eating u up and u havent even done anything yet

lancelot: and im worried what will happen once u get back

lancelot: so please caitlin

snowqueen: I don’t even know that I’ll be able to come back

lancelot: then jst pretend u will, please

snowqueen: Then okay, if everything somehow turns out okay

snowqueen: I’ll keep in touch

lancelot: thank u

snowqueen: Sara?

lancelot: yh?

snowqueen: I appreciate what you’re trying to do, even though I don’t think it will do anything

lancelot: i kno, and i understand where ur coming from even though i think ur underestimating urself

lancelot: and i kno that were not as close as u r w/ cisco or iris or barry but ur still my friend

lancelot: and i need u 2 kno that id do anything to make sure ur safe and well

snowqueen: I do

snowqueen: Thank you

lancelot: i jst wish i could do more

snowqueen: I know

Chapter Text

lancelot: sup guys

puppydanvers: are you all alright??? felicity was trying to get a hold of you last time we spoke

lancelot: yh i spoke to fliss its cool

lancelot: tho i doubt any of the star crew will show upbc theyre p busy

lancelot: idk whats up w/ team flash tho

irisbest: we’re not bad, I guess

quicksort: a lot’s been happening, but we’re handling it

quicksort: what about you guys? how’s your earth holding up?

puppydanvers: I got fired and my friend was chased off a building

quicksort: oh

puppydanvers: I caught her though, she’s okay, and I’m going to try working from home

puppydanvers: plus some other things happened that I doubt alex wants to talk about

agentdanvers: nope

lancelot: what about lane??

agentdanvers: she wasn’t even in the city

puppydanvers: she’s on vacation

puppydanvers: she sent me this

puppydanvers: [lucyholiday.png]

lancelot: ok 1st i retract my statement abt u being the hottest girl ive ever seen danvers bc damn shes hot

agentdanvers: thanks

lancelot: and 2nd, WHO IS T H A T??????

puppydanvers: who?


puppydanvers: oh that’s my friend james, he’s kind of my ex? and maybe lucy’s ex? and also my boss

puppydanvers: well, ex boss

lancelot: IS HE SEEING ANYONE????

puppydanvers: I think he’s with lucy? or maybe winn?

puppydanvers: or maybe both actually?

puppydanvers: winn’s my best friend btw and kind of james’ sidekick

puppydanvers: james is a vigilante and winn helps him

lancelot: so hot and a hero and open to an open relationship; did u mean my dream date

lancelot: west i need u 2 tell ramon that hes no longer the most beautiful man ive ever seen

irisbest: no

agentdanvers: do you just rank people by attractiveness??

lancelot: doesnt everybody???

quicksort: no???

puppydanvers: I didn’t know you liked men too

lancelot: [gettinbi.mp3]

lancelot: ^^^me

lancelot: please tell me u have crazy ex girlfriend on ur earth????

puppydanvers: we do, I love it!!!

puppydanvers: I didn’t think it would be the kind of thing you’d watch though?

lancelot: oh its not usually, gideon recommended it 2 me

agentdanvers: gideon your ai???

lancelot: yep, ray got her into it and she wanted more ppl to watch it with

agentdanvers: ?????

lancelot: did i break ur sister again

puppydanvers: probably

quicksort: what’s it about?

irisbest: it’s a musical comedy, I think you’d like it a lot

irisbest: you and wally should watch it together

puppydanvers: who’s wally???

irisbest: he’s a speedster that goes by the name kid flash

irisbest: and he’s my little brother and jesse’s boyfriend

irisbest: they’re very cute together

quicksort: thanks!

lancelot: oh man u guys r that sort of couple huh

irisbest: oh they’re the worst

quicksort: you’ve seen you and barry right??

puppydanvers: you’re with barry???

irisbest: you didn’t know???

puppydanvers: no!!!

lancelot: r u sure??? i figured their love could be heard through the universes

irisbest: wow

lancelot: u guys r nauseating

lancelot: fliss says its got even worse since u guys got engaged

puppydanvers: YOU’RE ENGAGED?????

irisbest: yes!!! not that long ago actually

irisbest: we haven’t set a date yet but you’re all invited, if you can make it

irisbest: lucy included, plus whoever else you’d like to bring

irisbest: barry said he made some friends over there

lancelot: bring james please

puppydanvers: congratulations iris!!! we’ll be there!!!

puppydanvers: and uh yeah I probably will

lancelot: y e s

puppydanvers: alex???

agentdanvers: yeah of course

irisbest: are you okay???

agentdanvers: well congrats on your engagement first

agentdanvers: and I was just wondering, do you mind if I add someone to the group?

puppydanver: omg!!!!

puppydanvers: alex wants to invite her girlfriend!!!!

agentdanvers: seriously kara??

puppydanvers: sorry I’m just so excited!!

irisbest: so she knows???

agentdanvers: yeah, she figured it out

agentdanvers: not like it’s hard

puppydanvers: nobody else has!!!

agentdanvers: ???

agentdanvers: james, cat, the whole of the deo, m’gann

puppydanvers: kal el told james and cat’s a reporter and used to be my boss and m’gann is psychic!!!

puppydanvers: and the deo knows because you keep calling me by my real name there!!!!!!

agentdanvers: well anyway, maggie knows now, so I thought that maybe she could come meet all of you?

agentdanvers: if that’s okay?

lancelot: aww ur adorable

agentdanvers: no I’m not

quicksort: and she knows about alternate earths too?

agentdanvers: yeah we talked it out

puppydanvers: I helped

agentdanvers: you really didn’t

agentdanvers: but yeah, she knows everything

lancelot: go on then danvers, we dont bite

irisbest: don’t you dare

lancelot: i mean yh i do

irisbest: I said don’t!!!!

lancelot: im a force of nature u cant hold me back

lancelot: come on danvers!!!

agentdanvers: well here goes


agentdanvers added rideordie to the group shedoesntevengohere!!!


lancelot: ??? were yall having a mean girls party when i was gone?????

rideordie: …that’s a weird first sentence to see

agentdanvers: yeah that’s kind of the whole tone of these conversations

agentdanvers: you don’t really have to stay if you don’t want to

lancelot: well damn danvers just shoot me next time

rideordie: aww babe no i want to meet your friends

lancelot: a d o r a b l e

agentdanvers: no I’m not

lancelot: yh u r

rideordie: yeah she is

rideordie: anyway, it’s nice to meet you all

rideordie: whoever you all are

lancelot: wells, the l i s t

irisbest: you really like spaces today huh

lancelot: well we just defeated the legion of doom and i need to get my dramatic emphasis from somewhere else now

puppydanvers: legion of doom???

lancelot: loooong story

quicksort: here you go maggie

quicksort: [introductions.xls]

rideordie: thanks

quicksort: and it’s a spreadsheet technically, not a list

lancelot: the s p r e a d s h e e t

irisbest: I can’t believe you won’t take the time to use punctuation but you just typed that out

lancelot: well how else am i menat to send a text, by thought?????

irisbest: you live on time travelling ship from the future, I’m sure you’d find a way

rideordie: she lives on a what now

agentdanvers: I know right??

lancelot: damnit west u stole my thunder

lancelot: so yh im a timetraveller and im awesome and it would sound better if someone else hadn’t told u 1st, west

rideordie: i mean, it’s still pretty damn cool

irisbest: there, is your ego soothed now

lancelot: no

rideordie: wow so there’s a lot of you in this huh

irisbest: normally yes

lancelot: amayas not here bc she thinks were idiots

quicksort: ???

irisbest: excuse me

lancelot: bc she thinks me and speedy r idiots

irisbest: better

lancelot: and theres kind of a lot going down in star rn so theyre not here

lancelot: tho i dont kno where snow is???

lancelot: guys is she ok??

quicksort: I don’t know

irisbest: she went home

irisbest: she did something

irisbest: well, killer frost did

rideordie: who?

quicksort: caitlin’s alter ego

irisbest: kind of

rideordie: alter ego? does she have DID?

irisbest: well she won’t go to a psychiatrist so who even knows

irisbest: sorry I’m just worried about her

irisbest: I don’t know what she’d want me to tell you about it though

rideordie: no of course, sorry, i didn’t mean to pry. i’m just used to interrogating people, i guess

irisbest: I’m a reporter and my dad’s a cop, I get it

rideordie: you’re a reporter?? even though cops and reporters are natural enemies??

puppydanvers: hey!!!

rideordie: sorry kara, it’s the way of the world

irisbest: well I wanted to be a cop but dad didn’t want me to

irisbest: so I just picked the next job that was most likely to get me onto crime scenes

lancelot: besides, if u want to tlk abt natural enemies, my dad used to be the chief of police and my sister was the da

rideordie: oh wow

lancelot: shes the ada now but hes like a politician or something???

rideordie: from cop to politician??

lancelot: weird career trajectories are kind of a family trait

rideordie: do i want to ask??

irisbest: probably not

lancelot: def not considering ur a cop

smoakandmirrors: guys

lancelot: omg ur back!!!

irisbest: are you guys okay???

smoakandmirrors: no

smoakandmirrors: adrian chase is prometheus

irisbest: wait how do I know that name?

newandimproved: He’s the DA

irisbest: oh my god

smoakandmirrors: yep

rideordie: who’s prometheus, if you don’t mind me asking

speedygonzales: hes this serial killer who it turns out knows everything abt us incl our secret identities

speedygonzales: and hes been carrying out this years long elaborate revenge fantasy bc my brother killed his dad

smoakandmirrors: to be fair, his dad was a bad guy

speedygonzales: and hi btw, whoever the hell u r

rideordie: i’m maggie, alex’s girlfriend?

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s nice to meet you, though I wish these were better circumstances

quicksort: wait laurel, aren’t you the ada??

newandimproved: Yep, he’s my boss

agentdanvers: are you okay? are you safe?

newandimproved: Probably not

smoakandmirrors: oliver thinks he’s biding his time but god who even knows

newandimproved: I should have realized

irisbest: as someone who’s been in a similar position as you

irisbest: believe me when I say that it isn’t easy to tell when you’re in the middle of it

agentdanvers: situations like this always look more obvious in hindsight

newandimproved: Yeah, except I’ve been in a similar position before

newandimproved: Sebastian Blood anyone?

speedygonzales: oh yeah

smoakandmirrors: i’m sorry for not believing you about that, by the way

newandimproved: I wasn’t exactly reliable back then

smoakandmirrors: still

smoakandmirrors: sara you’re being quiet about this

lancelot: am i?

thirdtimesthecharm: you are actually

smoakandmirrors: i know you can’t help but you’re not even reacting

speedygonzales: wait y cant u help????

lancelot: the timeline

newandimproved: Wait

newandimproved: Sara Lance did you know this was going to happen????

newandimproved: Sara

lancelot: yes

newandimproved: Why didn’t you say anything???

smoakandmirrors: we talked about it the other day and you didn’t say anything???

smoakandmirrors: after you said you wished you could help???

lancelot: i wish i could

speedygonzales: how did u even kno?????

lancelot: i may have accidentally travelled slightly forward in time and spoke 2 ur future selves

thirdtimesthecharm: by how long??

lancelot: i cant tell u

speedygonzales: what happened?????

lancelot: i cant tell u

newandimproved: Sara we could really use your help

lancelot: i kno but the timeline

lancelot: i kno were not the best at keeping the timeline intact, but its still our job

lancelot: and i cant go against it even for u

smoakandmirrors: i’d tell you

lancelot: no u wouldnt

newandimproved: I would

lancelot: damn it laurel, u would

lancelot: ok, last i saw u were all ok and still in fighting shape

newandimproved: Thank you

irisbest: I hate to ask, but you didn’t happen to talk to us too???

lancelot: i did

irisbest: and????

lancelot: and u kinda yelled at me so i think u were fine

quicksort: and me???

lancelot: i didnt actually speak 2 u but i think u were fine 2

irisbest: and cait???

lancelot: she kinda yelled at me 2

lancelot: also she ended up helping me save the day

irisbest: thank you

lancelot: dont expect this again

lancelot: i take my job seriously

newandimproved: Since when???

lancelot: idk like a week ago

agentdanvers: you didn’t take it seriously before?????

lancelot: lol no

rideordie: wait, does what happen to your earth’s timeline affect ours??

lancelot: huh

lancelot: no idea

agentdanvers: why would you ask that I didn’t want to think about that

lancelot: wow danvers, loving that faith in my team

agentdanvers: I have faith in some of your team

lancelot: amaya?

agentdanvers: amaya

Chapter Text

lancelot created the group letsgetdowntobusiness


lancelot added speedygonzales, irisbest and snowqueen to the group letsgetdowntobusiness


lancelot: guys

speedygonzales: #TO!!! DEFEAT!!! THE HUNS!!!!!#

speedygonzales: sorry

lancelot: no its ok i was expecting it

lancelot: so u kno how everythings terrible rn

speedygonzales: yep

lancelot: i thought id take ur minds off it

irisbest: oh god

lancelot: ok so now weve hooked caitlin up with snarts sister and iris is finally locking it down w/ allen, i need ur help

snowqueen: I haven’t “hooked up” with Lisa Snart

snowqueen: And you didn’t do anything

lancelot: oh hey! cait ur back!

snowqueen: Yes

lancelot: its good to see u again

snowqueen: I guess

snowqueen: Sorry

lancelot: its cool, like i told u, i got thick skin

irisbest: so I’m guessing this is a relationship thing then?

lancelot: yup

speedygonzales: u??? need relationship advice????

lancelot: not 4 me!! jfc thea

lancelot: for felicity and laurel

irisbest: what????

irisbest: those two????

lancelot: look, u havent had to be in the same room as those 2 for more than 20 mins

speedygonzales: yh its pretty painful

irisbest: wait, seriously??

snowqueen: As much as I hate to agree with these two, they do have a certain tension

lancelot: so its just ur own relationships ur blind abt then?

speedygonzales: dude

lancelot: sorry that was maybe too far

snowqueen: Maybe

lancelot: no but srsly some1 needs to lock those 2 in a closet

snowqueen: We’re not going to lock them in a closet

lancelot: well push them out of closet, same diff

lancelot: they have a ridic amount of hots for each other

lancelot: like imagine how much hots caitlin has for lisa

snowqueen: You literally just apologized

lancelot: and then times it by like a gazillion

speedygonzales: actually its more than that now

lancelot: how can it be more than a gazillion amount of hots

speedygonzales: no i mean

speedygonzales: its more than just lust now

speedygonzales: gdi i cant believe u made me use the word lust abt 2 ppl who are basclly my sisters

lancelot: wait do they like like each other????

speedygonzales: yup

irisbest: how did I miss this??????

lancelot: laurels very stoic abt feelings esp if theyre romantic

lancelot: plus fliss accidently hits on evry1 within 10 secs of meeting them

irisbest: okay true but still

lancelot: besides, neither of them have had a good relationship like ever

lancelot: its my sister and my best friend ok i want them to be happy

irisbest: oh

lancelot: plus have u seen laurel???? she needs to get laid

irisbest: how do you go from sweet to gross in 10 seconds flat???

lancelot: its a talent

lancelot: but anyway laurel is my sister so im allowed to set her up w/ ppl its a sibling rule

speedygonzales: yh thats tru

lancelot: and fliss knos im setting her up w/ some1

lancelot: i mean she doesnt kno its with laurel but still

speedygonzales: and shes ok w/ it???

speedygonzales: bc u havent been round here in a while and felicitys last rship didnt end well

lancelot: i kno, she told me

lancelot: and im not saying they need to get 2gether now, this is just planning for the future 4 when thinsg settle down a bit

irisbest: uh huh

lancelot: ooh wait i just had an idea

speedygonzales: what??

lancelot: reinforcements


lancelot added puppydanvers to the group letsgetdowntobusiness


puppydanvers: hi :)

lancelot: kara i need ur help!!!!

puppydanvers: of course!! what can I do?

lancelot: i need ur help to get laurel and felicity together

puppydanvers: oh, that kind of help

lancelot: well????

puppydanvers: sure! I love love!

lancelot: ok so ur sister is a nerdy badass and her gf is a stoic badass right

puppydanvers: I guess???

lancelot: how did they get together????

puppydanvers: wait let me make sure alex doesn’t mind me telling you

puppydanvers: right she said it’s okay

puppydanvers: well actually she just rolled her eyes but I’m taking that as a yes

lancelot: u asked her???

puppydanvers: yes??

puppydanvers: I mean I wasn’t sure if she would consider it private or something

lancelot: i would tell u guys literally anything abt laur

lancelot: srsly literally anything just ask

irisbest: wow that’s kind of terrible

lancelot: shes got the same privilege abt me tho

speedygonzales: yh me n ollie r pretty much the same

speedygonzales: apart from secret identities obvs

lancelot: well yh that was implied

puppydanvers: wait, why didn’t you just ask alex in the first place???

lancelot: ur sisters kind of a dork no offence

lancelot: kara???

puppydanvers: sorry I’m just not used to people thinking I’m the cool sister

lancelot: and w/ that sentence ur now the dorky 1 again

puppydanvers: well it was nice while it lasted

puppydanvers: okay, so they sort of pined after each other for a while without realizing

lancelot: yep

puppydanvers: then alex realized she was gay

lancelot: bi in this case, but they skipped past that part

puppydanvers: then maggie turned alex down and they pined for each other again

lancelot: probably lbr

puppydanvers: then maggie got shot

snowqueen: Let’s not do that

lancelot: nah fliss has already been shot

lancelot: which makes her the cop instead of the scientist?????

irisbest: has laurel been shot??

lancelot: u kno i honestly dont kno

lancelot: is that bad

speedygonzales: i think i kno where like 1/5 of ollies scars + tattoos are from so not really

snowqueen: I don’t think being shot is integral to a relationship anyway

lancelot: i dont think ive ever been in a serious rship w/ someone who hasnt been shot at

speedygonzales: i don’t think i have either?????

irisbest: wow, me neither????

puppydanvers: I never thought about it, but same????

puppydanvers: and it’s the same for alex and maggie, wow

lancelot: cait???

snowqueen: It isn’t the same for me

lancelot: ur telling me bby snarts never been shot????

puppydanvers: baby snart????

lancelot: caits girlfriend

puppydanvers: the supervillain???

snowqueen: She’s not my girlfriend

irisbest: ignore sara, she’s an asshole

lancelot: fine, the girl caits dating

irisbest: sara!!!

snowqueen: Fine

speedygonzales: what!!!!!

irisbest: wait, seriously????

lancelot: told u!!!!

snowqueen: Weren’t you guys matchmaking?

irisbest: okay but we are so talking about this later over ice cream

lancelot: wait wait wait

irisbest: ????

lancelot: a nerdy badass and a stoic badass??????

irisbest: yes?

lancelot: does that sound like any1 else we kno???

irisbest: quite a few people tbh

speedygonzales: wait r u talking abt cait and lisa???

snowqueen: Sara no

lancelot: SARA YES

snowqueen: Besides, Lisa isn’t stoic

lancelot: well duh thats u

lancelot: ok listen i totally wont tlk 2 her if u dont want me 2

lancelot: but it wud be good 2 hear her thoughts?????

snowqueen: You know it’s weird that you can be really thoughtful sometimes

lancelot: im an enigma

lancelot: and deep down actually a nice person?

speedygonzales: HA

irisbest: HA

lancelot: yh yh

snowqueen: Fine

lancelot: wait rlly????

lancelot: hells yh!!!!

snowqueen: I’m already regretting this and I haven’t even done it yet

lancelot: too late no takebacks!!!!

snowqueen: Fine


snowqueen added allthatglitters to the group letsgetdowntobusiness


lancelot: sup bby snart

allthatglitters: hey little lance

allthatglitters: so whats up doc?

speedygonzales: omg

snowqueen: They wanted to talk to you

allthatglitters: i thought you hero types didnt deign to speak to us poor lowly villains

irisbest: knock it off snart, we want your help

allthatglitters: really? what with?

puppydanvers: we’re trying to think of ways to set felicity and laurel up and apparently, you can help

allthatglitters: interesting. and who are you?

puppydanvers: oh I’m kara! it’s nice to meet you! :D

allthaglitters: wow

irisbest: is that a yes?

allthatglitters: why not, i havent got anything better to do

allthatglitters: well nothing id tell you about anyway

irisbest: charming as always

allthatglitters: so what do you want me to do

lancelot: i kno that len and mick couldntve got together by themselves so how did u do it

speedygonzales: wait leonard snart and mick rory are together????

irisbest: yes???

lancelot: thea theyve been married 4 like a decade

speedygonzales: ok in my defence ive only met them like once

irisbest: and you still couldn’t tell???

speedygonzales: listen west, u couldnt tell how much felicity wants to jump laurel so

irisbest: oh my god thea!!!!

puppydanvers: wow

lancelot: trufax tho

snowqueen: Lisa if you don’t interrupt them this will go on for a while

allthaglitters: alright then

allthatglitters: i got them together by forcing them to stay in a small space by themselves

lancelot: u mean……. like…….. a closet

allthatglitters: i mean, basically

snowqueen: We’re still not locking them in a closet

lancelot: spoilsport

allthatglitters: we were meant to go out on a job and i backed out at the last minute

irisbest: should you be telling us this??

allthatglitters: relax west, the statute of limitations has passed

allthatglitters: plus they were actually arrested for that one

puppydanvers: oh

alltheglitters: they got put in the same cell and the rest is history

lancelot: lol time travel joke

lancelot: so what ur saying is i have 2 get them arrested

allthatglitters: yes

snowqueen: No

puppydanvers: you two are really different, huh

lancelot: they have 1 thing in common

snowqueen: Don’t say whatever you’re about to say

lancelot: i was going to say a loving relationship built on mutual trust and friendship

lancelot: i told u snow, i’m actually a nice person deep down

lancelot: anyway, back to getting them arrested

irisbest: I’m pretty sure you can’t get laurel arrested

lancelot: but not felicity??? hmmmmm

irisbest: you know what I mean lance

lancelot: yh yh laurels a lawyer

allthatglitters: what kind?

lancelot: a da

lancelot: well an ada actually

allthatglitters: better than a prosecutor i guess

lancelot: um excuse me shes the best lawyer in star city

puppydanvers: aww

lancelot: not that the bars set v high

puppydanvers: oh

irisbest: yeah you get used to that

speedygonzales: sara!!! lawyer joke!!!

lancelot: damn an that was on accident, im just that good

allthatglitters: did you need to know anything else?

lancelot: if i jump out in front of len wearing a scream mask what r the chances hell stab me

puppydanvers: ?????????

allthatglitters: 60/40

lancelot: good 2 kno

irisbest: please don’t do that

snowqueen: Sara please don’t

lancelot: nah im gonna

puppydanvers: why???

lancelot: whats the point of having a medbay that can regrow tissue if u dont give it a workout????

irisbest: why are you like this

allthatglitters: i think thats my cue to leave

snowqueen: I would

lancelot: u love me really

snowqueen: Nope

allthatglitters: see you later caitlin

snowqueen: Bye Lisa, I’ll see you tomorrow?

allthatglitters: change of plans, the day after?

snowqueen: Okay, but I’m not going to be your alibi

allthatglitters: fair


allthatglitters has left the group


puppydanvers: you know, you guys have a really weird relationship with your villains

speedygonzales: ok but ive been saying this for ages???

speedygonzales: bc u central city guys spent a lot of time saying we were 2 morally gray or smth

speedygonzales: but also all ur bad guys kno who u r and u all hav like coffee dates w/ them???

irisbest: yeah now we do, but before that we all hated each other

irisbest: but it’s just easier to have a cordial relationship with the rogues

irisbest: it’s like what they say, you’ve got to keep your enemies close

lancelot: aka caitlins personal motto

snowqueen: You really are an asshole

lancelot: and proud

Chapter Text

betterthanyou changed the group name to missedme???


betterthanyou: im back bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!

puppydanvers: hi lucy!!!!!!

betterthanyou: hi kara!!!!!!

agentdanvers: wait where are you?

betterthanyou: stuck in the airport

agentdanvers: do you want us to give you a lift?

betterthanyou: nah

betterthanyou: and whos us bc i kno kara isnt fond of cars

agentdanvers: oh no

puppydanvers: oh yes!!!

betterthanyou: ????

rideordie: i think alex was talking about me and her

rideordie: i’m maggie, btw

agentdanvers: oh no

puppydanvers: oh yes!!!

agentdanvers: godamnit kara!!!

betterthanyou: ur the gf

rideordie: i mean i’m other things too, but yes

betterthanyou: hmmmmm

rideordie: what

rideordie: don’t tell me that youre about to give me the shovel speech

betterthanyou: dont need to

betterthanyou: we both kno that if u do anything then kara will throw u into the sun

quicksort: wait, you can do that??

puppydanvers: yep

thirdtimesthecharm: would you do that??

puppydanvers: yep :D

betterthanyou: and no thats not it

rideordie: then whats the problem?

betterthanyou: so alex didnt kno she was gay until she met u rite

agentdanvers: oh you are kidding me

betterthanyou: but shed already met me??????

agentdanvers: I hate you

rideordie: oh

lancelot: damn lane uve got no chill

betterthanyou: um excuse me have u seen me?????? im the hottest person ull ever meet danvers

agentdanvers: I hate you

rideordie: you’re jealous?

betterthanyou: i dont get jealous

betterthanyou: but yea

rideordie: i’m sorry?

betterthanyou: really?

rideordie: nope

rideordie: i’m sorry that you can’t deal with the fact that alex’s sexuality does not have anything to do with you

betterthanyou: ooooohh right answer!!!!

betterthanyou: ok danvers shes not terrible

agentdanvers: I didn’t ask for your opinion?

betterthanyou: and yet i gave it to u anyway, im just that good of a friend

rideordie: so you were just testing me??

betterthanyou: sure lets go w/ that

lancelot: hey lane a question

betterthanyou: yup

lancelot: how did u manage to date the most beautiful man

betterthanyou: every1 i date is the most beautiful b more specific

lancelot: [lucyholiday.png]

lancelot: that dude

betterthanyou: …...y do u hav a pic of us?????????

lancelot: kara showed us

puppydavnvers: well I wasn’t expecting you to save it!!!

lancelot: well obvs i did kara i have functioning eyes

lancelot: look at that and tell me that he isnt the most beautiful man uve ever seen

betterthanyou: well yh

smoakandmirrors: wait, the most beautiful???

lancelot: yh???

smoakandmirrors: have you told cisco that you’ve bumped him down a place?

lancelot: i asked west to but she said no

lancelot: i love that u kno me so well

smoakandmirrors: too well, probably

lancelot: kara said hes a vigilante 2??? do u hav a pic of him in his suit????

betterthanyou: even i kno that having a pic of some1 in their costume wud be a bad idea

lancelot: im like 90% sure that fliss and ciscos phone backgrounds r them w/ the black canary

newandimproved: Seriously?

smoakandmirrors: well it isn’t now

newandimproved: Felicity

smoakandmirrors: it’s a good picture!!

betterthanyou: lets see

smoakandmirrors: [bc3.png]

betterthanyou: damn lance

irisbest: …that is a good picture

smoakandmirrors: exactly!!

agentdanvers: that’s a lot of leather

rideordie: and alex should know she owns a lot

lancelot: does she now

agentdanvers: leather jackets get your mind out of the gutter

lancelot: i cant thats where it lives

lancelot: anyway can we not tlk abt how hot my sister is its kinda gross

irisbest: ????????

irisbest: from you????

newandimproved: You made us watch you flirt with yourself???

agentdanvers: okay sorry what

lancelot: yh but i dont care, i kno this makes u uncomfortable

newandimproved: Oh

newandimproved: Thanks Sara

lancelot: w/e

smoakandmirrors: ok i’ve changed it

newandimproved: And what have you changed it to?

smoakandmirrors: something normal

newandimproved: Felicity

smoakandmirrors: fine, it’s me and the flash

irisbest: aww

irisbest: but also change it

smoakandmirrors: ugh

smoakandmirrors: now it’s me and thea, happy???

speedygonzales: aww thx

speedygonzales: i mean im not happy im ur 3rd choice but

smoakandmirrors: technically 5th but i can’t use sara and ray bc they’re meant to be dead

speedygonzales: wow smoak

agentdanvers: question: how could you flirt with yourself?

lancelot: T

lancelot: I

lancelot: M

lancelot: E

lancelot: [space]

lancelot: T

lancelot: R

lancelot: A

lancelot: V

lancelot: E

lancelot: L

newandimproved: Was that really necessary

lancelot: well seeing as you all keep forgetting i figured id try to make it actually stick

agentdanvers: I’m not exactly used to having to remember things like that

lancelot: ur. sisters. an. alien.

agentdanvers: but not a time travelling one though

betterthanyou: ok lance 2nd question

lancelot: yh??

betterthanyou: what was it like flirting w/ urself

lancelot: best thing thats ever happened to me tbh

newandimproved: I brought you back from the dead???

lancelot: ehhh

rideordie: ???????

agentdanvers: sara was dead? somehow?

rideordie: you know that doesnt make me any less confused

thirdtimesthecharm: yeah, you get used to that

agentdanvers: I still haven’t

quicksort: it takes a while

speedygonzales: r u rlly telling me that none of u hav been dead???


betterthanyou: your experiences are not universal!!!

speedygonzales: not even anybody on ur world????

agentdanvers: there’s been people we thought were dead but not people who were actually resurrected

lancelot: damn

lancelot: u rnt even allowed in the legends unless uve been dead

rideordie: all of you? really???

lancelot: well dead or pseudo dead but yh??? basically???

lancelot: i mean we all watched our alt future selves die

rideordie: is your whole world like this or just you guys???

lancelot: but also appart from that i think theres only maybe 3 ppl who havent come back from the dead???

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s mostly just those guys

smoakandmirrors: wait who??

lancelot: i think amaya and jax and nate????

lancelot: hmmmm

snowqueen: Please tell me you’re not going to get them killed just so you can have a unifying theme

lancelot: HMMMMM

newandimproved: That would be a ridiculously bad idea, even for you

lancelot: HMMMMM

lancelot: guys dont worry amaya is way 2 sensible 2 fall 4 anything and jax has known me 2 long 2 trust me

quicksort: what about the other person? nate?

lancelot: oh that boy is DEAD nate is way 2 trusting we need to train him out of it rlly

lancelot: i mean nate is basically ray if he was obsessed w/ indiana jones instead of star wars

lancelot: and dont ask how i kno that

speedygonzales: how do u kno that

lancelot: i said dont ask speedy i dont want fliss 2 hav a heart attack

smoakandmirrors: ?????

lancelot: fine this 1 time i saved this dude called george lucas

smoakandmirrors: !!!!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!

agenydanvers: wait really???

lancelot: speedy no

speedygonzales: listen u knew i was a nerd when u 1st met me this is on u

snowqueen: Wait, saved? How was he in danger?

lancelot: u 2 caitlin???

snowqueen: Not me personally, but Cisco and Lisa love Star Wars and Indiana Jones

snowqueen: Though I think the Snarts prefer Star Trek to Star Wars?

snowqueen: Lisa has a lot of merch. Too much for it to be just her’s

lancelot: ugh ur so gross and sappy

snowqueen: …I’m sorry?

lancelot: and its a long story but we had to fight the legion of doom at his college

lancelot: and it freaked him out so much that he decided to become like an insurance guy instead of a writer

lancelot: and we had to convince him not to

newandimproved: You nearly stopped Star Wars from being written?????


newandimproved: Thea showed them to me actually, way before I met Felicity

lancelot: i literally just gasped

lancelot: speedy how could u do this 2 me

lancelot: how could u turn my own sister into a nerd

newandimproved: HEY!

speedygonzales: just be greatful i hvent introduced her to comic books yet

lancelot: U WOULDNT DARE

speedygonzales: hm then u best b more careful around important ppl in history

agentdanvers: maybe just be more careful in general??

irisbest: yes I second that please

thirdtimesthecharm: your stories do always seem pretty terrifying when you think about them

lancelot: but theyre the best kind of stories!!


irisbest has left the group


snowqueen has left the group


quicksort has left the group


lancelot: what just happened??????

smoakandmirrors: i don’t know, cisco’s not answering my texts???

smoakandmirrors: and i keep tyring to message barry and the texts won’t send????

speedygonzales: i cant reach jesse or wally either

agentdanvers: is there any other way of reaching the others?

smoakandmirrors: usually they come to us, not the other way around

rideordie: can’t you use your spaceship to get there?

lancelot: timeship and no it doesnt work like that

lancelot: plus central isnt really the best place for timetravellers

thirdtimesthecharm: I can’t see anything on the internet about central

rideordie: maybe it’s something that’s only happening to their team?

puppydanvers: but if it was something really bad then wouldn’t you be able to see it on the news?

smoakandmirrors: not necessarily

speedygonzales: yh ive been hearing stories abt what happens down in central

speedygonzales: a lot of its pretty contained to team flash

speedygonzales: i just hope theyre ok

betterthanyou: from what ive been hearing abt ur earth, it seems like u guys get through a lot

puppydanvers: yeah you guys have overcome things that I don’t think we could

smoakandmirrors: thanks guys

agentdanvers: I wish we weren’t a whole earth away so we could help

speedygonzales: well its not like were doing much

speedygonzales: sorry im just worried


quicksort joined the group missedme???


lancelot: whats going on?????

speedygonzales: r u ok?

quicksort: is wally okay? in the future?

lancelot: idk iris didnt say anything abt him y?

quicksort: because hes in the speedforce

smoakandmirrors: omg are you all ok?

quicksort: of course not

quicksort: barry went in after him and caitlin’s beating herself up over the whole thing

quicksort: I’m only here because apparently there isnt really anything I can do

newandimproved: Is there anything that we can do?

quicksort: no

quicksort: not unless you have some way of travelling into the speedforce

lancelot: no sorry

lancelot: i dont kno much abt it

lancelot: but i kno that time ships cant travel there bc even the time masters were afraid of it

rideordie: what is it? if you don’t mind me asking?

quicksort: it’s hard to explain but it’s like a separate dimension where all speedsters’ powers come from

quicksort: future barry trapped savitar there but he tricked wally into trading places with him

quicksort: but he only managed to get out because caitlin hid a part of this stone thing that we all agreed to get rid of

quicksort: but she only kept it because she thought it could get rid of her powers

quicksort: but she only has powers because barry changed the timeline

quicksort: everything’s a mess

quicksort: and I’m just stuck here being useless

newandimproved: You’re not useless Jesse

quicksort: but I’m not the flash

lancelot: so????

smoakandmirrors: yeah i love barry, but you don’t have to be him to help

lancelot: actually youll probably help more not being him

smoakandmirrors: sara

newandimproved: No I think I understand what she’s saying

newandimproved: Barry’s been speeding round central for around 3 years now right?

newandimproved: Everyone knows his stragtegies and limits, but they dont know you, so you’ve got the advantage

lancelot: exactly

lancelot: bad guys wont be expecting u and they wont kno how to fight u

quicksort: oh

quicksort: I didn’t think of it like that

newandimproved: Maybe it only seems like there’s nothing that you can do because there’s nothing that Barry could do

lancelot: but ur not barry, so u can go abt it in a completely different way

quicksort: yeah

quicksort: just because I can’t be barry doesn’t mean I can’t be the flash right

newandimproved: Exactly

quicksort: I don’t need to wait for barry and wally to get back, I can take on savitar on my own


quicksort has left the group


newandimproved: Wait no

newandimproved: No

newandimproved: Shit

lancelot: laur???

newandimproved: I just basically pressured a teenager into fighting a god by herself

lancelot: um no u didnt????

lancelot: 1st of all i was tlking to her 2

lancelot: and 2nd she wouldve gone anyway except she wouldve spent the whole time trying to 1 up allen

lancelot: and now shes gonna think abt her strategy and shes gonna be unpredictable and harder 2 beat

lancelot: and its not like she wouldntve been formidable anyway

lancelot: but now shell be even better

lancelot: u helped laur

newandimproved: I really hope so

Chapter Text

irisbest: guys

irisbest: we got wally back

newandimproved: Oh thank god

speedygonzales: is he ok???? he’s not talking much

irisbest: he’s recovering

irisbest: and jesse’s fine btw

irisbest: even though she took on a god by herself

newandimproved: Iris I’m sorry that I encouraged her

lancelot: we idiot

irisbest: guys it’s fine, jesse is pretty headstrong

irisbest: there’s no way she does anything that she doesn’t want to do

irisbest: she’s not here today though because she’s moving

speedygonzales: yh to earth3 i heard

lancelot: wait already???

thirdtimesthecharm: she hasn’t been here that long has she?

irisbest: she hasn’t no, but jay garrick stayed behind in the speedforce so wally and barry could leave

irisbest: jesse’s gone to look after his central city

speedygonzales: oh

speedygonzales: do u think shell b ok

newandimproved: I think that Jesse is a lot like another very stubborn very noble person here

newandimproved: and she always lands on her feet

lancelot: ur right,,, she is like u

newandimproved: You know full well I was talking about you, but now I’m taking it back, Jesse isn’t irritating

lancelot: oh no im so hurt what shall i do

irisbest: hey guys have any of you heard from felicity?

newandimproved: She’s lost her phone

lancelot: felicity smoak?????? lost her phone?????

speedygonzales: well thats what she said

lancelot: right

speedygonzales: shes been p distracted lately

lancelot: w/ her hacker group?

speedygonzales: she told u???

lancelot: u dont have 2 sound so surprised

speedygonzales: and yh

lancelot: hmmmm

irisbest: guys I’ve got something else to tell you

newandimproved: World ending important?

irisbest: personally important

lancelot: speedy can we tlk abt this later?

speedygonzales: sure

lancelot: go on then west

irisbest: we’ve called off the engagement

newandimproved: Oh Iris I’m sorry

puppydanvers: are you okay??

irisbest: I don’t know

lancelot: well i guess at least now we dont have to clear a space in our calendars

betterthanyou: um

newandimproved: What’s wrong with you???

lancelot: i thought humor would help!!! i figured west wouldnt want me to beat allen up for her

irisbest: I’m not so sure about that

lancelot: really??? bc weve got some things thatll slow down a speedster so i can kick his ass

lancelot: or u can, either way

lancelot: i mean im assuming it was something he did

irisbest: it’s complicated

puppydanvers: want to talk about it?

irisbest: I was really hoping to speak to felicity

irisbest: not that it isn’t good speaking to you guys

lancelot: wait how can fliss help

irisbest: because of felicity and oliver

puppydanvers: wait felicity and oliver?????

lancelot: bc they dated???

thirdtimesthecharm: they dated???

speedygonzales: bc they were engaged?????

lancelot: SINCE WHEN??????

speedygonzales: relax lance theyre not anymore

lancelot: oh thank god

newandimproved: Why do you care so much?

lancelot: reasons

newandimproved: Wait

newandimproved: Sara do you like Felicity????

speedygonzales: OH MY GODDDDD

puppydanvers: !!!!

newandimproved: ?????



rideordie: who’s gideon and why is she monitoring these?

agentdanvers: she’s the ai that runs sara’s ship

betterthanyou: apparently shes hot

rideordie: of course she is

vixen: Why does Gideon think I need to talk to you?

vixen: Is it related to the choking fit Sara’s currently having?

speedygonzales: YES THANK U GOD IN HEAVEN

irisbest: hi amaya!

vixen: Hello again Iris

rideordie: hey, i’m maggie, alex’s girlfriend

vixen: It’s nice to meet you, I’m Sara’s teammate

rideordie: you time travel too???

vixen: Yes

agentdanvers: she’s from the 40s too

rideordie: oh

agentdanvers: yup

vixen: Thea, why are you happy that Sara is choking?

speedygonzales: its an inside joke

newandimproved: Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?

snowqueen: Don’t mind them, they’re just idiots

newandimproved: Well I already knew that


puppydanvers: wait you have two dinahs???

speedygonzales: yh but dont ever call laurel dinah shell fight u

newandimproved: Didn’t you two make out?

irisbest: wait what???????

puppydanvers: sara you never told us that!!!

lancelot: uh didnt u make out w/ nyssa

speedygonzales: what!!!!!!!!!!!!!

newandimproved: No!!!!!

rideordie: who’s nyssa?

irisbest: sara’s ex girlfriend

speedygonzales: she taught laurel how to fight

speedygonzales: ...which now i think abt it is how sara and nyssa got 2gether????

speedygonzales: and u 2 did share lots of lingering glances????

newandimproved: You weren’t even in America then!!!

lancelot: so something happened when speedy was in corto maltese?????

newandimproved: I was never with Nyssa!!

lancelot: i mean damn laurel my body wasnt even cold

rideordie: that’s never going to stop being weird

newandimproved: Nyssa’s my best friend, I don’t think of her that way!!!

lancelot: oh ok

newandimproved: That’s it???

lancelot: nobody can get w/ ur best friend laurel thats jst weird

lancelot: uh no offence west

lancelot: oh shit sorry!!!!

newandimproved: Iris I’m so sorry, we just completely talked over you

irisbest: no, it felt good to focus on someone else’s love life drama for a while

irisbest: and this is pretty entertaining

irisbest: did you really make out with felicity???

lancelot: ok in my defence shes v cute and id just broken up w/ nyssa

speedygonzales: dude!!!!

irisbest: wait really????

newandimproved: What happened to you can’t like your best friend???

lancelot: well she wasnt my best friend then!!!

puppydanvers: and I thought that relationships on our world were complicated

irisbest: oh wow

puppydanvers: ???

speedygonzales: ha

speedygonzales: ha

speedygonzales: ha

rideordie: ?????

betterthanyou: oh pls tell me the story behind this i gotta kno

speedygonzales: ok so u kno my bros ollie right?

puppydanvers: yeah

speedygonzales: so he was dating laurel thru hs and college

puppydanvers: really???

puppydanvers: i didn’t know you two dated

speedygonzales: oh u sweet summer child

speedygonzales: ok so he cheated on her w/ multiple girls

speedygonzales: uh sorry laurel

newandimproved: It’s okay, it’s old news now

speedygonzales: incl a girl he actually knocked up

puppydanvers: OLIVER HAS A CHILD??????

speedygonzales: yh a son

newandimproved: He’s a very cute kid, to be fair

speedygonzales: he also cheated on laurel w/ sara

agentdanvers: really???

betterthanyou: really lance

lancelot: yes i kno i was young and stupid

newandimproved: You’re still stupid

lancelot: w/e

speedygonzales: and he took sara on a yacht trip, and then the yacht sunk which is how every1 found out they were 2gether

rideordie: ouch

speedygonzales: and anyway after ollie got back he got back w/ laurel again

betterthanyou: ????????????????????????????????

newandimproved: …okay I was also young and stupid, but we did only sleep together once

lancelot: still stupid!!!!

newandimproved: Yeah I deserved that

speedygonzales: then sara turned up and got back w/ ollie

newandimproved: Do I even need to say anything

lancelot: yh yh

betterthanyou: ok is this guy like super hot or something

irisbest: very

speedygonzales: eh i mean hes prob not bad???

speedygonzales: anyway, meanwhile nyssa, saras assassin ex, came in town to try and get sara back

speedygonzales: w/ murder???

speedygonzales: i wasnt in the kno then so idk what rlly went down

lancelot: yep murder

rideordie: i feel like this is the point where i remind everyone that im a cop

thirdtimesthecharm: now you know how I feel

lancelot: eh my dad was a cop and laurels a lawyer if they havent straightened me out nothing will

newandimproved: Don’t even try and pretend that was on accident

lancelot: it couldve been!!!!

lancelot: anyway we had a complicated rship, and her dad was an semi immortal bigoted psychopath tbf

lancelot: and laurels forgiven her anway so

irisbest: wait nyssa tried to kill you???

newandimproved: Sort of?

lancelot: yh but who hasnt

newandimproved: Pretty much just you and Nyssa

rideordie: what

lancelot: tbf i didnt have a soul

rideordie: what

agentdanvers: um what

puppydanvers: ???????

lancelot: ha ha good times

agentdanvers: that’s not an explanation?

lancelot: when laurel brought me back to life she forgot to get my soul

newandimproved: I didn’t forget, it just didn’t come back with you

lancelot: and yet i didnt have that problem

newandimproved: You used highly advanced future technology, I used a centuries old magical pit of evil

lancelot: excuses excuses

rideordie: wait you died too????

lancelot: its a canary thing

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s a lance thing

thirdtimesthecharm: at least I hope so

speedygonzales: anyway

speedygonzales: eventually sara and ollie split, for u kno good reason, and sara went back w/ nyssa

lancelot: then i died bitches!!!!

agentdanvers: you’re too happy about that

lancelot: its my death and im gonna own it

lancelot: i mean do u rlly think im gonna give merlyn the satisfaction of being sad abt it????

thirdtimesthecharm: wait, merlyn thea’s dad???? he killed you????

speedygonzales: *biodad and yh sort of

lancelot: not sort of, thats exactly what happened

lancelot: but anyway after i died nyssa left the league bc her stupid dad wouldnt like avenge me or something

lancelot: and she went and taught laurel instead???

newandimproved: Yes, and nothing happened

lancelot: and at the same time ollie got w/ fliss??????

speedygonzales: yep

speedygonzales: and they got engaged and everythin but then hey remember that secret kid???

speedygonzales: well he came back and felicity was pissed that ollie didnt tell her abt him and didnt trust her more

speedygonzales: which tbf ollie only knew 4 like a month b4 and the kids mom told him not 2 tell any1

speedygonzales: but barry told him that not telling her wud be bad abd he didnt listen

speedygonzales: and every1 knos u hav 2 listen 2 time travellers

lancelot: and yet nobody listens to me

agentdanvers: you have no idea what you’re doing!

lancelot: wow, words hurt danvers

puppydanvers: wait barry’s a timetraveller????

lancelot: ha he wishes

snowqueen: Don’t get into this again

lancelot: then stop messing w/ time!!!! thats my teams thing!!!!

lancelot: do we go and mess up alt earths???? no!!! bc thats ur teams thing!!!!

speedygonzales: anyway

speedygonzales: is that everything???

newandimproved: And Sara made out with Felicity???

speedygonzales: yh when was that???

lancelot: btwn ollie and nyssa the 2nd time???

lancelot: and anyway, if youd let me explain, we decided wed be better as friends and it never happened again

lancelot: also were both adults anyway so

newandimproved: And Nyssa and I aren’t?????

lancelot: yh but im ur little sister i have to mock abt this sort of stuff its the law

speedygonzales: yh thats tru

puppydanvers: it really is

agentdanvers: no it isn’t!!!

rideordie: as a cop, ive gotta say that it is the law

agentdanvers: sawyer!!!

rideordie: sorry danvers

lancelot: wait waot wait wait wait wait wait

speedygonzales: ??????

lancelot: how did u even kno we made out anyway???????

newandimproved: Felicity told me

lancelot: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

newandimproved: What????

irisbest: nothing, ignore sara

smoakandmirrors: hey guys!!! i found my phone!!!!

speedygonzales: y didnt u tell me u made out w/ sara!!!!

smoakandmirrors: it’s a funny story actually

smoakandmirrors: wait what

smoakandmirrors: which lance do i need to yell at?????

lancelot: it was laurel

smoakandmirrors: laurel???? why???


smoakandmirrors: ew no

lancelot: see???

lancelot: wait did u only tell laurel???

smoakandmirrors: and ray

lancelot: RAY????????

smoakandmirrors: well yeah?? he’s my best friend

smoakandmirrors: guys?????

smoakandmirrors: what?????

smoakandmirrors: what did i say?????

irisbest: plot twist

speedygonzales: #MMM WHATCHA SAY#

speedygonzales: top 10 anime betrayals


smoakandmirrors: i know you know there’s no h in my name


smoakandmirrors: ?????

smoakandmirrors: oh for gods sake lance

smoakandmirrors: ray’s my best guy friend

lancelot: oh

lancelot: what abt laurel then?

smoakandmirrors: she’s my best girl friend

lancelot: ha gay

newandimproved: Why are you like this

lancelot: hey wait what abt me???? im a girl??????

smoakandmirrors: you’re a force of nature

smoakandmirrors: and you’re my best overall friend

lancelot: !!!!!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: and you’re an idiot

lancelot: love u smoak

smoakandmirrors: ugh love you too lance

newandimproved: And you don’t get why I could think you might like each other???

lancelot: well of course i love my best friend who else am i meant 2 love, myself??????

speedygonzales: same

smoakandmirrors: sara was the first person who believed that i could be more than just the tech support

lancelot: u kno thats not tru fliss

smoakandmirrors: i know, but it kinda felt like that at the time

smoakandmirrors: and sara was my first best friend so

lancelot: so ur stuck w/ me

smoakandmirrors: basically

lancelot: wait!!! r u saying i took ur bff virginity!!!

smoakandmirrors: NO

smoakandmirrors: i’m not saying that and neither are you

smoakandmirrors: ever again

betterthanyou: oh man im stealing that

puppydanvers: about who???

betterthanyou: alex duh

agentdanvers: I had best friends before you???

betterthanyou: not incl kara

agentdanver: yes??

betterthanyou: or girls that u were actually in love w/ but were repressing feelings into friendship

rideordie: ouch

agentdanvers: that’s a cheap shot lane

betterthanyou: my favorite kind

agentdanvers: and thanks sawyer

rideordie: youre welcome danvers :)

agentdanvers: you need to stop spending so much time around kara

puppydanvers: :) :) :) :)

lancelot: so just laur and ray then???

smoakandmirrors: well that’s who i told

lancelot: tho u kno that nyssa knows 2 right

smoakandmirrors: you told her?

lancelot: didnt have to, she just Knew

smoakandmirrors: …yep effortlessly creepy, sounds like nyssa

lancelot: i kno isnt she great

lancelot: oh yh anyway

lancelot: west wants to speak to you

smoakandmirrors: is something up?

irisbest: we called the engagement off

smoakandmirrors: i bet i could whip up something that could hurt a speedster if you want

rideordie: does everyone here always react with violence first

thirdtimesthecharm: pretty much

speedygonzales: i mean i dont wanna say hypocrite but

thirdtimesthecharm: I never said that I wasn’t part of everyone

irisbest: you’re sweet, but no I just wanted to talk

smoakandmirrors: it hurts, a lot, and it will for a while, but also you feel clearer?

smoakandmirrors: at least that’s how it was for me

smoakandmirrors: it kind of depends on why you’ve broken up

irisbest: oh we haven’t! we’re just taking a little break, but we’re still together

irisbest: hopefully

speedygonzales: r u telling me i went thru the whole queen-lance-smoak-whatever nyssas last name is dating history

lancelot: raatko

newandimproved: It’s Raatko

speedygonzales: and u 2 havent even broken up??????

smoakandmirrors: wait you did what

irisbest: I didn’t ask you to!!!

newandimproved: And neither did I!!!

puppydanvers: well I’m glad you two are still together!

irisbest: thanks kara

smoakandmirrors: so why did you call off the engagement then?

irisbest: because he only proposed because he knew we weren’t engaged in the future

rideordie: ?

lancelot: oh

lancelot: thats not bad actually?

lancelot: i mean i kno sometimes im a bit harsh on u guys when u mess w/ time

snowqueen: You do it all the time

lancelot: well so do u!!!!

lancelot: but anyway

lancelot: this is actually not a terrible way to change things?

irisbest: did you just compliment barry???

lancelot: i kno i can actually feel my soul leaving my body

lancelot: and believe me i kno full well what that feels like

lancelot: and yh i get y ud be pissed abt it

irisbest: thanks

lancelot: tho it sounded like it was a mutual decision???

irisbest: sort of

irisbest: I guess?

irisbest: I called it off originally then realized that I wanted to get married anyway, and I knew he did too

irisbest: and it didn’t matter to me why he’d asked then

irisbest: and then he called it off because he wanted to be able to focus on saving me or whatever

lancelot: …so the offer to beat him up still stands

smoakandmirrors: same here

speedygonzales: i kno i didnt originally offer but same

betterthanyou: u kno i dont even kno half of whats going on but im always up 4 a fight

agentdanvers: so what is going on? what happens in the future?

irisbest: I get murdered

irisbest: in about two months

irisbest: yeah

puppydanvers: but then you have to change the future

irisbest: we’re trying

agentdanvers: Is there anything else you could change other than being engaged?

snowqueen: No

irisbest: yes

lancelot: oh

irisbest: yeah

rideordie: what?

snowqueen: Did nobody tell you guys?

irisbest: I sort of did? I didn’t know how much you’d want me to tell them though so I didn’t say much

snowqueen: Oh

snowqueen: Thank you

snowqueen: Sometime between now and in two months’ time, I become a supervillain

irisbest: you don’t know that it’s going to happen

snowqueen: Barry and Cisco both saw it happen

irisbest: yeah and they’ve been wrong before

lancelot: multiple times!

lancelot: sides not all supervillains are that bad right???

lancelot: i mean u r dating 1

rideordie: sorry youre dating a supervillain???

irisbest: a nice one though!!!

lancelot: my point exactly

Chapter Text

lancelot created the group heyguys!!!


lancelot added newandimproved, smoakandmirrors and speedygonzales to the group heyguys!!!


lancelot: felicity

lancelot: u kno how evrthing my team does is v important

lancelot: bc we keep reality from collapsing

smoakandmirrors: i don’t like where this is going

lancelot: well long story but we need someone familiar with the mob

newandimproved: I’m not even going to ask

lancelot: thats probably 4 the best

smoakandmirrors: do you mean oliver? because you know you can ask him yourself, he won’t mind

speedygonzales: olivers in the mob???

lancelot: no not bratva

speedygonzales: olivers in the russian mob?????

lancelot: the italian mob

smoakandmirrors: nope

newandimproved: I really hope you’re not talking about who I think you’re talking about

lancelot: its 4 the sake of the timeline

smoakandmirrors: no way sara!!

lancelot: felicity

smoakandmirrors: she tried to kill me!

speedygonzales: and laurel!

smoakandmirrors: and laurel!

lancelot: felicty

smoakandmirrors: i’m not going to help you break that psychopath out of prison!!

lancelot: felicity

smoakandmirrors: you’ve already done it haven’t you

lancelot: yh this was more of a fyi

smoakandmirrors: i hate you


lancelot added stabbymcstab to the group heyguys!!!


stabbymcstab: sup bitches

smoakandmirrors: i hate you too

stabbymcstab: love you too sweetcheeks

smoakandmirrors: sara

lancelot: play nice kids

lancelot: ugh i sound like laurel

stabbymcstab: oh god you do

newandimproved: I’m right here

smoakandmirrors: change your name

stabbymcstab: why???

smoakandmirrors: you didn’t even stab anyone???

stabbymcstab: that you know of

smoakandmirrors: that’s not something you should be proud of!!!!

stabbymcstab: ugh fine


stabbymcstab changed their name to shotthrutheheart


smoakandmirrors: no


shotthrutheheart: AND YOURE TO BLAME


speedygonzales: *SICK GUITAR SOLO*

smoakandmirrors: i. hate. you.

shotthrutheheart: so hey whats been happening down in murder city

smoakandmirrors: says the murderer???

shotthrutheheart: exactly i gotta know who my competition is

speedygonzales: nice to see u havent changed

shotthrutheheart: thank you!

speedygonzales: and uhhh not much

shotthrutheheart: really

speedygonzales: ok much but i dont really want to tell u

shotthrutheheart: fair

smoakandmirrors: that’s it???

shotthrutheheart: im trying to do better with the whole empathy thing

smoakandmirrors: really

shotthrutheheart: iron heights is pretty much a hellhole but they did have free therapy

shotthrutheheart: figured id make use of it while i was there

smoakandmirrors: oh

smoakandmirrors: that’s good

newandimproved: Are you keeping up with it?

shotthrutheheart: i probably should yeah

newandimproved: If it’s helping, then yes you should

shotthrutheheart: i know but its hard finding a therapist thatll belive ive done the things ive done

newandimproved: But you know it’ll help you in the long run

shotthrutheheart: yeah i know

smoakandmirrors: wait

smoakandmirrors: this doesn’t sound like a conversation between two people who haven’t seen each other in 3 years

smoakandmirrors: have you two kept in touch???????

newandimproved: I visited her sometimes

shotthrutheheart: she was pretty much my only visitor

shotthrutheheart: not that im complaining

shotthrutheheart: you are very nice to look at

newandimproved: Thanks Helena

smoakandmirrors: ?????????????

smoakandmirrors: why??????????

newandimproved: You know how much I believe in second chances

smoakandmirrors: yes but i wish it meant you’d stop becoming bffs with the people who try to kill you

shotthrutheheart: yeah but who havent i tried to kill

smoakandmirrors: which is why you should have no friends????

lancelot: hey im an ex-assassin remember???

smoakandmirrors: yeah and sometimes i wonder about you too

lancelot: THANKS FLISS

speedygonzales: hey wait if u 2 r friends then y were u against sara breaking her out of prison????

newandimproved: Still a lawyer

speedygonzales: oh yh

newandimproved: Also it seemed like it was helping

shotthrutheheart: yeah but also prison, so

lancelot: i mean honetsly at this point the next member of the legends has to be a shrink

lancelot: like who on this ship doesnt need one tbh

newandimproved: I know you probably mean that as a joke but that’s not a bad idea

newandimproved: But also you should get a medical doctor too

lancelot: yh but we got gideon

newandimproved: But she can’t go out into the field with you

lancelot: i guess

lancelot: huh

newandimproved: What?

lancelot: nothing, just had a thought

newandimproved: So what did you two do exactly

newandimproved: When Sara took you out on a mission

shotthrutheheart: is that judgement im hearing

newandimproved: More like apprehension

newandimproved: Why, was I being too subtle?

lancelot: relax guys, it wasnt jst us, it was the whole team 2

smoakandmirrors: sara you know i love you guys

lancelot: yh i kno

smoakandmirrors: but youre kind of terrible at your jobs

smoakandmirrors: amaya excluded

lancelot: well yh obvs

lancelot: but anyway sorry were not the best but its not like theres any1 else who could do what we do


lancelot: oh yh lol

lancelot: but also they were using their power to make time go how they wanted

lancelot: and to keep an evil dictator in charge of the whole world so

lancelot: were clearly the better option

smoakandmirrors: who could say

lancelot: wow ur rlly pissed i broke bertinelli out of prison huh

smoakandmirrors: WHAT GAVE IT AWAY

lancelot: u kno passive aggression isnt good for the heart


speedygonzales: u shouldve seen her when she broke up w/ ollie

newandimproved: That was a very trying time

smoakandmirrors: OH IT WAS TRYING FOR YOU WAS IT

newandimproved: Yes, that’s why I said it

smoakandmirrors: UGGHHHHHH

shotthrutheheart: wow smoak you need to take a breath


newandimproved: So anyway, what exactly did you do?

shotthrutheheart: we went to the 22nd century

shotthrutheheart: the mob there was surprisingly similar to todays organization

smoakandmirrors: i guess at least your actions won’t affect the past

lancelot: ehhh probably

smoakandmirrors: PROBABLY????



lancelot: would u rather i lied to u

smoakandmirrors: maybe?????

lancelot: time travel is super easy and were all definitely rlly good at it and hav never made mistakes ever

lancelot: or committed any crimes or killed ppl or travelled into ur pasts to get embarrassing bby photos

speedygonzales: sorry what

smoakandmirrors: SARA WTF

newandimproved: …I feel like I should probably point out that murder is a crime

shotthrutheheart: but is it tho

speedygonzales: i mean u literally went 2 jail 4 it

shotthrutheheart: lets agree to disagree

newandimproved: So what are you going to do now?

newandimproved: Are you going to stay with the legends?

shotthrutheheart: god no

shotthrutheheart: no offense sara

lancelot: no it was warranted

shotthrutheheart: and i dont know

shotthrutheheart: maybe ill go back to star? or maybe ill just travel around for a bit

shotthrutheheart: i guess i dont really have a place

lancelot: hey so i have a friend thats doing the same thing and maybe u could meet up w/ her

shotthrutheheart: kendra?

lancelot: how do u kno her name????

shotthrutheheart: palmer mentioned it at least six times

lancelot: ha yh thats ray alright

smoakandmirrors: wait so where are you right now then?

shotthrutheheart: not sure

shotthrutheheart: where did you drop me off again?

lancelot: …not sure

newandimproved: Sara

lancelot: it was a long 3 days!!!

speedygonzales: dont u any idea????

lancelot: im pretty sure it was in the southern hemisphere

shotthrutheheart: i think im in canada

lancelot: well 1 of us is probably right

newandimproved: Can you track her down Felicity?

smoakandmirrors: i can if she’s in this time period

lancelot: huh

smoakandmirrors: …she is in this time period right?

lancelot: u kno i knew i forgot something

speedygonzales: dude u left her in the 22nd century????

shotthrutheheart: you did???

smoakandmirrors: you didn’t notice????

shotthrutheheart: clearly not felicity!!!!

lancelot: ok stay there were coming to pick u up!!!!

smoakandmirrors: so what was that about being the best people for the job again

lancelot: nobody asked u smoak!!!

Chapter Text

puppydanvers: GUYS GUESS WHERE WE ARE!!!!!!!!!

lancelot: r u in 18th century france bc were there rn and it sucks

puppydanvers: oh

puppydanvers: no we’re not there

newandimproved: Please don’t mess with the French revolution


newandimproved: NO

lancelot: relax laur the upper class can choke

lancelot: no offense speedy

speedygonzales: technically im like the poorest out of all of u rite now so rlly its more rubbing salt in the wound

lancelot: whoops srry

agentdanvers: so anyway we’re on your earth

speedygonzales: where??????????

irisbest: they’re with us

speedygonzales: omg uve gotta come down here to star city!!!!!!

irisbest: I don’t know, we’re trying to show them the best of our earth

smoakandmirrors: ouch west

irisbest: guys you literally live in murder city

newandimproved: It’s gotten a lot better!!!

thirdtimesthecharm: are you saying it used to be worse than this???

smoakandmirrors: don’t be a traitor dinah

speedygonzales: yh a big part of being a star city citizen is loving star despite its flaws

thirdtimesthecharm: it has a lot of flaws though

smoakandmirrors: dinah!!!

thirdtimesthecharm: a lot

betterthanyou: pls tell me u guys r taking lots of selfies

agentdanvers: of course she is

puppydanvers: of course i am!!!

puppydanvers: [teamflash.png]

betterthanyou: …uve got a good looking team there

irisbest: thanks!

lancelot: whos that tall guy

puppydanvers: that’s j’onn he’s my boss please do not crush on him

rideordie: he’s the danvers space dad

agentdanvers: no he’s not, he’s our boss???

betterthanyou: space dad

lancelot: dont worry hes too old for me

puppydanvers: thank rao

lancelot: who/whats rao

puppydanvers: he’s my god?

puppydanvers: of my planet’s main religion?

lancelot: oh sweet i didnt kno u were religious

lancelot: u prob shouldnt mention it next time we meet up unless u want 2 spend like 2 days talking to nate

lancelot: he really loves learning abt other cultures

lancelot: i mean obvs go ahead if having debates abt religious & cultural stuff is ur jam tho

puppydanvers: oh

lancelot: ???

puppydanvers: I haven’t really told a lot of humans about my faith

puppydanvers: I guess I never really know how they’ll react

lancelot: look i will mock your character traits + decisions + fashion style + love life + hobbies

puppydanvers: thanks???

lancelot: but ill never mock ur beliefs

puppydanvers: thanks sara

lancelot: i may be an asshole but im not 100% a dick

smoakandmirrors: !!!!!!

speedygonzales: sara

lancelot: what

speedygonzales: sara did u jst quote guardians of the galaxy

lancelot: no

smoakandmirrors: sara did you watch a marvel film

lancelot: no

smoakandmirrors: sara

lancelot: no

smoakandmirrors: sara

speedygonzales: sara




lancelot: shut it speedy

speedygonzales: i cant believe i spent all those years trying to convince you and palmer managed to do it

smoakandmirrors: but did you like it???

lancelot: can we get back 2 y the danvers r on our earth

smoakandmirrors: you totally liked it :D

puppydanvers: it’s a long story

irisbest: kara and barry got trapped in a musical

puppydanvers: maybe not that long

rideordie: is that a thing that just happens on your earth or

thirdtimesthecharm: I really hope not

speedygonzales: …what kind of musical tho

puppydanvers: it was kind of west side story??

puppydanvers: gangsters and forbidden love

smoakandmirrors: were you dating barry??????

puppydanvers: no

puppydanvers: I wish that had happened instead

agentdanvers: really kara???



newandimproved: Wow, I wonder what Sara's reason is

lancelot: my reason is that im 2 busy saving the fabric of time to use spell check laurel

puppydanvers: anyway

puppydanvers: no it wasn’t me and barry

thirdtimesthecharm: so what happened?

puppydanvers: so the guy who put us in that state

puppydanvers: aka ~music meister~

puppydanvers: yes I know

puppydanvers: wanted us to realize how much we should appreciate our loves

smoakandmirrors: so barry’s love is definitely iris but what about yours???

puppydanvers: it wasn’t just romantic love

lancelot: !!!!!!!!!!!!


irisbest: yep



lancelot: U DID WATCH THEM!!!!!!!!!

puppydanvers: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

rideordie: wait so which ones iris

irisbest: the prettiest one there

puppydanvers: thanks iris

agentdanvers: thanks iris

snowqueen: Thanks Iris

snowqueen: Cisco: Thanks Iris

irisbest: okay, second prettiest

snowqueen: Cisco?

irisbest: duh

smoakandmirrors: you’re with cisco?

snowqueen: He’s in the room

snowqueen: He says hi

lancelot: hey dude!!!

newandimproved: Hi Cisco!!

smoakandmirrors: tell him to get his ass over to star because it’s been ages and he can teleport so he’s got no excuse!!!

snowqueen: I will

irisbest: anyway I’m the one in the gray dress

irisbest: and who doesn’t look like every part of my soul is trying to escape

snowqueen: I don’t like photos!

irisbest: I know cait

smoakandmirrors: i think you look good cait

snowqueen: Thanks Felicity

lancelot: ooooh #fliss and cait sitting in a tree#

snowqueen: You’re a child

lancelot: technically im prob the oldest person in the chat so

betterthanyou: i though u were the younger sister

lancelot: timetravel tho

betterthanyou: oh yh

betterthanyou: weird

lancelot: got its perks tho

newandimproved: It means that she gets to act like a brat half the time and be really condescending the other half

lancelot: exactly

lancelot: hey so was it just kara and barry trapped in the musical?

agentdanvers: you just want to know if we saw ourselves make out don’t you

lancelot: but did u

irisbest: no lance, we weren’t there too

agentdanvers: thank god

agentdanvers: no offense iris, but I don’t think that I could watch that

irisbest: it’s fine alex

irisbest: though I’m pretty sure that if we were there too then we’d have to pretend to be dating instead of watching ourselves date

smoakandmirrors: you don’t seem that bothered about the whole situation

irisbest: please

irisbest: alt alex was lucky to have alt me

lancelot: and modest 2 what a catch

irisbest: please lance as if you wouldn’t

lancelot: …well u got me there

irisbest: well sorry to say I’m off the market

smoakandmirrors: wait

smoakandmirrors: WIATWAITWAITWAIT

irisbest: I’m waiting

smoakandmirrrors: ARE YOU AND BARRY BACK TOGETHER????

smoakandmirrors: IRIS

smoakandmirrors: IRIS ANSWER ME


smoakandmirrors: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


irisbest: [runninghometoyou.mp3]

irisbest: ^^^the song he proposed to me with

irisbest: and it’s an original song

irisbest: fyi

smoakandmirrors: HE WROTE YOU A SONG!!!!

speedygonzales: wow extra much

newandimproved: Congrats guys!!

puppydanvers: YOU GUYS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

newandimproved: Really Thea?

speedygonzales: they were split 4 like a week lbr

lancelot: yh bc its ~barry & iris~

irisbest: thanks guys, really loving your support of my relationship

lancelot: i nvere said it was a bad thing!!!

lancelot: im happy that allen got his head out of his ass and proposed again!!!

lancelot: even if it was in the most ridiculously extra way!!!

rideordie: i think its adorable

irisbest: see that sara? that’s support

irisbest: and thanks maggie!

betterthanyou: i cant believe how much ur bf has stepped up the dating game

newandimproved: Yeah you realize that none of us can get married now?

newandimproved: No one’s going to be able to beat that proposal

lancelot: but who would marry u anyway

newandimproved: Your girlfriend

speedygonzales: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lancelot: what th

lancelot: what the hell just happened????????

Chapter Text

puppydanvers: hey guys, do you mind if I add a friend?

puppydanvers: she knows who I am but not about the rest of you?

puppydanvers: you’ve met her before actually

speedygonzales: wait is it that girl u like

agentdanvers: ???

betterthanyou: ?!?!?

puppydanvers: no???

puppydanvers: lena and I are just friends??

lancelot: ok but friends or friends

smoakandmirrors: that’s what i said!!

puppydanvers: she really is just a friend!!!

rideordie: if you say so

puppydanvers: you know you’re making me not want to introduce her to you all now

newandimproved: It’s okay Kara, if you want to bring Lena here then I’ll keep the rest of these idiots in line

newandimproved: Sorry Maggie, I didn’t mean to call you an idiot

rideordie: its cool

lancelot: HEY

smoakandmirrors: hey!!!!

puppydanvers: thanks guys!!

puppydanvers: well I have to ask her first

puppydanvers: it’s just she hasn’t had the best week

puppydanvers: and I figured maybe a few of you would have been in the same situation?

irisbest: probably

irisbest: it’s not like any of us have ever been in a normal situation


puppydanvers added theboss to the group missedme???


puppydanvers: okay now we’ve gotta wait a few mins for her to stop geeking out

theboss: I’m not ‘geeking out’

puppydanvers: lena: aLtErNaTe ReAlTiEs KaRa!!! aLtErNaTe ReAlTiEs!!!!

theboss: It’s a perfectly reasonable reaction!

smoakandmirrors: yeah i reacted the exact same way

theboss: Oh hello again Felicity

theboss: I guess your problem makes more sense now

smoakandmirrors: i mean i don’t have to defuse city destroying bombs regularly or anything

speedygonzales: uh yh u totally do

smoakandmirrors: yeah i totally do

snowqueen: Your city destroying bombs wouldn’t affect our city would they?

smoakandmirrors: gee thanks cait for worrying abt the lives of my city and my team

snowqueen: You’re welcome

smoakandmirrors: and no probably not?

smoakandmirrors: i’d call your team if i came across one that would

snowqueen: Thanks Felicity

irisbest: so kara said you’d had a bad week?

theboss: It’s my mother

puppydanvers: you don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to

theboss: No, it’s okay Kara

theboss: She’s the head of a terrorist organization

theboss: She’s basically a supervillain

speedygonzales: thats rough buddy

newandimproved: THEA

speedygonzales: no its ok

speedygonzales: us children of supervillains gotta stick together and all that

theboss: Really?

speedygonzales: unfortunately

smoakandmirrors: there’s more of us than you’d think really

agentdanvers: I guess it transcends earths

smoakandmirrors: oh you too?

agentdanvers: kind of

agentdanvers: it’s complicated

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!


newandimproved: What do you mean???

speedygonzales: it means have fun losers w/ ur normal parental relationships!!!


speedygonzales created the group C.O.S.C.


speedygonzales added smoakandmirrors, theboss, agentdanvers and 2 others to the group C.O.S.C.


speedygonzales: welcome to the 1st meeting of the children of supervillains club!!!

speedygonzales: so normally id see if i could get the list w/ every1s names

speedygonzales: but weve got supervillains of our own in tonight

allthatglitters: please i already know who you all are

allthatglitters: wait did you say supervillains plural???

shotthrutheheart: hey nerds

smoakandmirrors: speedy why

shotthrutheheart: well nice to see you too felicity

allthatglitters: so who are you exactly

shotthrutheheart: helena bertinelli

shotthrutheheart: or huntress, if you prefer

allthatglitters: oh, pipers friend

shotthrutheheart: who???

allthatglitters: hartley rathaway

shotthrutheheart: oh hart!!!

shotthrutheheart: havent seen him in a while, i didnt know he was in this scene too

shotthrutheheart: small world huh

shotthrutheheart: wait is piper that guy who dresses in all black leather and flirts with the flash

allthatglitters: basically

shotthrutheheart: yeah i really shouldve realized that was him

speedygonzales: so anyway yh if u wanna intro urselves jst kno that huntress is still on probation

shotthrutheheart: i helped the legends save time???

speedygonzales: yh which is y ur on probation and not in ollies secret island prison

shotthrutheheart: in olivers what now

speedygonzales: oh wait were missing some1!!!

speedygonzales: ok u all introduce urselves while i go get her

theboss: But then won’t we have to start introductions all over again when you return?

speedygonzales: nah shell already kno who u all r

agentdanvers: even us??

speedygonzales: shell still kno. ive jst stopped asking how at this point

speedygonzales: anyways see u in a moment

smoakandmirrors: okay i guess i’ll start?

smoakandmirrors: not that i have to introduce myself since you all know who i am

smoakandmirrors: not that i mean that in an arrogant way!!

smoakandmirrors: just that i brought you all here!!

smoakandmirrors: well most of you i guess

smoakandmirrors: not that i like the people that i didn’t bring here any less than the people i did!!!

smoakandmirrors: well except one

shotthrutheheart: love you too babe

smoakandmirrors: just i didn’t know you!!!

allthatglitters: take a breath smoak

smoakandmirrors: oh thank god

smoakandmirrors: also i hate you

shotthrutheheart: ;) xoxo

smoakandmirrors: ugh

smoakandmirrors: just someone else talk now please?

agentdanvers: I guess I’ll go

agentdanvers: alex danvers, and it’s complicated?

agentdanvers: my dad works for the xenophobic terrorist organization that kidnapped him a decade ago

agentdanvers: so yeah, complicated

agentdanvers: anyway, lena?

theboss: Thanks Alex

agentdanvers: you’re welcome!

theboss: I’m Lena, and my mother’s the head of the same organization that kidnapped Alex’s father

theboss: I would very much rather not talk about it

smoakandmirrors: yeah i’m starting to see a problem with this

allthatglitters: lisa snart

allthatglitters: or glider

allthatglitters: and luckily for you guys i can talk shit about my asshole dad all day long

allthatglitters: tho i dont know that he was technically a supervillain

smoakandmirrors: not a supervillain in the way that you’re technically not a supervillain

smoakandmirrors: or not a supervillain because he never did anything that got innocent people hurt or had any evil plans

allthatglitters: oh

allthatglitters: i guess he was then

allthatglitters: anyway

shotthrutheheart: you all already know who i am since i pretty much introduced myself at the start

shotthrutheheart: my dad was a mobster

shotthrutheheart: now hes dead

allthatglitters: did you kill him

shotthrutheheart: i wish

allthatglitters: oh i know that feeling

allthatglitters: what about you other earthers?

agentdanvers: no????

shotthrutheheart: other earthers????????

smoakandmirrors: oh lena and alex are from an alternate universe where aliens are more common

shotthrutheheart: aliens????????????????????

smoakandmirrors: sara didn’t tell about any of this?

shotthrutheheart: sara introduced me to time travel by breaking me out of jail

shotthrutheheart: and taking me straight to the 22nd century

smoakandmirrors: and then leaving you there

shotthrutheheart: yeah ok we dont really need to get back into that

agentdanvers: wait, what were you in jail for?

shotthrutheheart: honestly who can even remember

smoakandmirrors: murder

smoakandmirrors: you were in jail for murder

shotthrutheheart: i did other things too!!!

allthatglitters: i feel like we really should have met a while ago

shotthrutheheart: name the time and place and ill be there

allthatglitters: ooh a little supervillain retreat?

allthatglitters: i mean pipers spoken about you enough times that youre practically an honorary rogue

theboss: I’m not the only person here who has a bad feeling about this, right?

smoakandmirrors: no you’re not, this absolutely cannot happen

shotthrutheheart: idk smoak im feeling kinda in the mood for some villainy

allthatglitters: yeah i havent done anything big for a while now

allthatglitters: and ever since lenny and mick decided to become heroes the rogues have been feeling a little restless

smoakandmirrors: and what would caitlin say about you committing crimes???

allthatglitters: cait would say ‘well done babe’????

allthatglitters: if your partner doesnt support ur career then dump them????

allthatglitters: thats like relationship 101 smoak

smoakandmirrors: ????????


speedygonzales added nr to the group C.O.S.C.


smoakandmirrors: oh thank god

speedygonzales: GUYS

speedygonzales: let me introduce yall to THE BEST person ive ever met!!!!

smoakandmirrors: ???? wow thanks speedy

smoakandmirrorss: GUYS ITS NYSSA

smoakandmirrors: …ok you’re maybe right

nr: Hello, Felicity Smoak, M.I.T. Class of '09

smoakandmirrors: hello, nyssa, daughter of ra's al ghul, heir to the demon

speedygonzales: do u 2 really have to do that every time

nr: Yes

smoakandmirrors: we really do

speedygonzales: so anyway this is nyssa

agentdanvers: you’re sara’s ex right?

nr: Yes, though technically we never broke up

smoakandmirrors: i mean, she died

smoakandmirrors: i get where you’re coming from, but she died

agentdanvers: were you really an assassin???

theboss: What???

nr: I was, yes

nr: I was the head of the League of Assassins, before I disbanded it

speedygonzales: oh wait i guess i can tell u abt my biodad now

speedygonzales: so he used to be part of the league and then he blew up most of starling city

shotthrutheheart: that was your dad???

speedygonzales: yup and also my mom and kinda my dad

speedygonzales: its complicated

speedygonzales: anyway then we all thought he was dead but he wasn’t

speedygonzales: and he came back to train me and then he kind of killed sara

smoakandmirrors: not kind of

speedygonzales: u kno what i meant

nr: Sara’s death was on his hands, Thea, not yours

speedygonzales: yh i kno

speedygonzales: and he was the head of the league after nyssas dad was

nr: After your brother killed him

speedygonzales: im sorry

nr: It wasn’t an accusation, it needed to be done

speedygonzales: but still

nr: He was a very bad, very ruthless man and the world is a lot better without him in it

speedygonzales: he was still ur dad tho

nr: In name only

nr: He was never very fatherly

speedygonzales: so anyway did you all finish intros or

smoakandmirrors: oh wait i never got round to telling you all about my dad did i?

speedygonzales: theyre not missing much ur dads prob the lamest supervillain out there tbh

smoakandmirrors: maybe but still HEY

speedygonzales: no offense felicity but i mean hes not really a supervillain is he

smoakandmirrors: he is!!

smoakandmirrors: he has a codename!!

speedygonzales: ur kidding right?????

smoakandmirrors: WELL HE DOES!!!!

speedygonzales: ur dad has the absolutely worst supervillain name i have ever heard

speedygonzales: worse than captain cold

allthatglitters: ha fair

speedygonzales: worse than golden glider

allthatglitters: woah hey watch your mouth!!!!!!

allthatglitters: calling yourself speedy and you’re not even a speedster!!!!

speedygonzales: its even worse than peekaboo

agentdanvers: that’s not a name

allthatglitters: shes my roommate

agentdanvers: oh. that’s a name

allthatglitters: and i doubt cisco would like you dissing his codenames

speedygonzales: ehh hell get over it

shotthrutheheart: ok now ive got to know what smoaks dads called

speedygonzales: well go on then felicity

smoakandmirrors: well i don’t want to say it now

speedygonzales: hmmm i wonder y

nr: He’s called the Calculator

agentdanvers: no

theboss: Really?

shotthrutheheart: thats terrible and believe me ive seen some ridiculously bad names in iron heights

smoakandmirrors: how do you even know that????

nr: Laurel told me

agentdanvers: that is the worst name I’ve ever heard and my sister is literally called supergirl

smoakandmirrors: hey!!! people without codenames don’t get to diss people with them!!

agentdanvers: but people with alien guns get to diss whoever they like

smoakandmirrors: …goddamn

smoakandmirrors: well ok then

agentdanver: hey so it just parents we’re talking about or are other family members welcome?

speedygonzales: yh sure, y u got other evil family members???

agentdanvers: oh no it’s not for me

agentdanvers: give me a second

speedygonzales: i mean technically nyssas here twice so

allthatglitters: how so?

nr: I’m guessing that you’re talking about Talia

speedygonzales: well she did kidnap ollie and train prometheus

nr: I apologise for that

speedygonzales: woah hey no its not ur fault what ur sister does

smoakandmirrors: how are you dealing with that anyway?

nr: With extreme violence

smoakandmirrors: no i meant like emotionally

nr: Violence can be an emotion

smoakandmirrors: oh

smoakandmirrors: okay then

theboss: I guess at least it’s not just me then

speedygonzales: u got an evil sister 2???

theboss: Brother

theboss: He’s currently in jail for mass murder

theboss: And he’s tried to kill me between three and six times

smoakandmirrors: between??

theboss: He and my mother use similar tactics, so I can’t always tell who’s behind the attack

speedygonzales: im sorry lena

theboss: It’s fine, I wish I wasn’t used to it, but I am

allthatglitters: i guess lena and nyssa win then

smoakandmirrors: i’m 100% sure that’s not how that works

shotthrutheheart: if you want to talk about winning, my entire dad’s side of the family are in the mob

shotthrutheheart: just saying

agentdanvers: okay, I’m back

agentdanvers: kara didn’t want to be here today, but she said it was okay to talk about her

agentdanvers: though she might join later?

agentdanvers: and actually I maybe know some other people who could relate to this?

speedygonzales: yh that’s ok

smoakandmirrors: the more the merrier

smoakandmirrors: or the more the more miserable, i guess

speedygonzales: so y wud kara b here?

agentdanvers: her uncle

agentdanvers: he put the whole of national city under mind control and tried to do the same thing to the whole earth

speedygonzales: wow so that kinda puts everything my dad did into perspective

smoakandmirrors: didn’t your dad try to rewrite reality

speedygonzales: oh yh nm

agentdanvers: sorry he did what

speedygonzales: dont worry the legends fixed it!!!

agentdanvers: how would that make me worry less

agentdanvers: what if they didn’t put things back the way they were????

agentdanvers: how would we know???

smoakandmirrors: what do you think about the legends

agentdanvers: ????

agentdanvers: I think they’re irresponsible and kind of terrifying???

smoakandmirrors: exactly

smoakandmirrors: if they’d changed reality then you’d think they were the best people ever

smoakandmirrors: there’d be literal statues built in their honor

allthatglitters: good point but there is literally a statue that was built in micks honor

smoakandmirrors: ok but there’d be statues of all of them and also probably countries named after them

allthatglitters: yeah, youre right

nr: I assume that Mr Merlyn was properly dealt with after they fixed his meddling?

speedygonzales: yh they kicked his ass and then wiped his memories

speedygonzales: and ur totally gonna call him mister for the rest of his life rnt u

nr: He has no other title

speedygonzales: i love u

nr: Thank you Thea

speedygonzales: ok if u dont get back w/ sara can u marry laurel pls i need u 2 b around more

nr: I don’t think so

nr: I doubt that I’d be able to have a relationship with Laurel after having one with Sara

nr: I wouldn’t want to copy any action that your brother has made

speedygonzales: I LOVE U

nr: Besides, why would I pursue Laurel when she already has an admirer?

smoakandmirrors: wait she does???? who????

nr: Do I need to answer that?

speedygonzales: nope

smoakandmirrors: ???????

smoakandmirrors: yes???????

smoakandmirrors: thea what aren’t you telling me???

speedygonzales: hey so what else should we talk abt

smoakandmirrors: THEA

speedygonzales: so whats the weather like where u guys r

smoakandmirrors: GUYS SERIOUSLY

nr: Laurel is a very private person. I doubt that she’d wish for us to speculate on her romantic prospects

smoakandmirrors: oh

smoakandmirrors: that is true

smoakandmirrors: also ‘romantic prospects’ is adorable

nr: No it isn’t

speedygonzales: it is a little bit

allthatglitters: kind of is

allthatglitters: speaking of, does she look adorable too???

speedygonzales: i got some blurry pics that make her look like a cryptid

speedygonzales: i mean, more than she already is

nr: Try it and see what happens

speedygonzales: oh boy oh boy i havent been tempted to make such a bad decision in such a long time

nr: Thea

speedygonzales: hmmmmmmmmm

smoakandmirrors: i already have an outfit picked out for your funeral

nr: I hope you mean your outfit. An outfit for Thea would be wasted

nr: You would never find the body

speedygonzales: i love that i can hear ur exact tone of voice in my head

speedygonzales: ohhh wait!!!

speedygonzales: felicity u spend enough time w/ laurel uve got to have at least 1 good pic of nyssa

smoakandmirrors: yes but also i like my appendages attached to my body

nr: Clever girl

smoakandmirrors: however

nr: What?

speedygonzales: what

speedygonzales: what felicity dont leave me in suspense here

smoakandmirrors: however i do have a video of nyssa sparring with laurel

smoakandmirrors: guys?

smoakandmirrors: guys??????

speedygonzales: ok so

speedygonzales: let me preface this w/ the fact

speedygonzales: that i def do not and will not ever see laurel or nyssa as anything more than sisters 2 me

speedygonzales: but also i would literally give u my 1st born for that vid

shotthrutheheart: i am never having kids but i would steal a firstborn for that vid

allthatglitters: lennys the firstborn and you can have him

smoakandmirrors: wow so that was mildly terrifying

speedygonzales: come on smoak u kno u want 2

smoakandmirrors: wait

speedygonzales: felicity

smoakandmirrors: please say nice things at my funeral

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: [nandl.3gp]

smoakandmirrors: well?

shotthrutheheart: shush smoak were watching it

smoakandmirrors: well okay then

smoakandmirrors: guess i’ll just wait here

allthatglitters: well that was an experience

speedygonzales: oh im so showing that to sin her head would explode

speedygonzales: question: how many times have u watched this???

smoakandmirrors: like twice

shotthrutheheart: well thats a lie

allthatglitters: yeah that isnt a twice kind of video

smoakandmirrors: guys that’s my friend!!!!

nr: And me

smoakandmirrors: and nyssa!!!

smoakandmirrors: no offense nyssa

nr: None taken

nr: It is a very well filmed video

smoakandmirrors: so you’re not going to kill me???

nr: I didn’t say that

speedygonzales: do u think u broke the other earthers???

theboss: No I’m not broke

speedygonzales: ha millionaire joke!!!!

speedygonzales: but also seriously

theboss: I’m fine thanks

agentdanvers: but aslo seriously I’m fine

speedygonzales: why agent danvers was that a typo

agentdanvers: sometimes people make mistakes thea!!!

theboss: But you don’t tend to

agentdanvers: lena!!

speedygonzales: congrats nyssa u broke a government agent

nr: She wouldn’t be the first

allthatglitters: …damn

shotthrutheheart: yeah i can see what lance sees in her

agentdanvers: you didn’t break me!!!

shotthrutheheart: is she the only one in the room?

speedygonzales: ohhhh i knew it was a good idea to bring u in

shotthrutheheart: well obviously

agentdanvers: for the record, I am the only one in the room

speedygonzales: give me a sec, let me confirm

agentdanvers: seriously???

speedygonzales: ok so the other other earthers confirm

agentdanvers: well I could’ve told you that

agentdanvers: oh wait, I did

speedygonzales: also im not sure if laurel is v smug or v embarrassed

smoakandmirrors: you told her????

speedygonzales: prob a mix tbh

speedygonzales: yh of course i did

speedygonzales: id expect her to bring this up again

smoakandmirrors: thanks speedy

speedygonzales: repeatedly

smoakandmirrors: THANKS SPEEDY

speedygonzales: also im p sure that the next time were ina group together

speedygonzales: saras gonna flood the chat w/ vids of her sparring

speedygonzales: so ur welcome u useless gay idiots

smoakandmirrors: HEY

speedygonzales: *useless gay and bi idiots

smoakandmirrors: i was objecting more to the useless but thanks also

speedygonzales: oooh maybe we should make this a thing????

speedygonzales: like we spend fridays trading vids of hot people sparring???

speedygonzales: but maybe next time not some1 i see as a sister????

allthatglitters: im down for that

agentdanvers: don’t you have a girlfriend?

allthatglitters: yeah who else do think id be watching them with???

smoakandmirrors: your relationship is surprisingly healthy?

allthatglitters: well that was what i was aiming for

speedygonzales: do u think we should share this w/ the main group

speedygonzales: or maybe this should be our reward 4 having supervillain parents?

theboss: I don’t think that’s how it works

shotthrutheheart: it should be tho

speedygonzales: bc felicity i kno u hav complete control over the cameras and can def hook us up w/ team arrow vids

smoakandmirrors: i guess

speedygonzales: and ive got an inside man on the waverider

smoakandmirrors: i’m not sure that sara would like you corrupting jax

speedygonzales: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

speedygonzales: can u other earthers get vids of ur superheroes

theboss: I don’t think we have as many as your earth does

speedygonzales: but can u get vids of them tho

agentdanvers: I guess lucy probably could?

speedygonzales: awesome

speedygonzales: team flash vids might be a problem tho

smoakandmirrors: wally isn’t under your thumb?

speedygonzales: not yet, hes more scared of iris than he is of me

speedygonzales: wait snart could you get vids from star labs???????

allthatglitters: of course

allthatglitters: im offended you had to ask

speedygonzales: so thats sorted then

speedygonzales: every friday we commiserate about our asshole parents/other family members and swap vids of hot ppl fighting

theboss: Why Fridays?

speedygonzales: why not

speedygonzales: WAIT NO SATURDAYS

smoakandmirrors: you’ve just thought of an alliterative name haven’t you


speedygonzales changed the group name to SEXYSUPERHEROSPARRINGSATURDAYS


shotthrutheheart: NICE

speedygonzales: yes i am in fact a genius

speedygonzales: felicity smoak who???

smoakandmirrors: literally right here

Chapter Text

lancelot: ok so 2 things

lancelot: no.1: kara ur pretty useless no offence

puppydanvers: how could I not be offended at that???

lancelot: so im gonna see if danvers 2 is any better


lancelot added agentdanvers to letsgetdowntobusiness


agentdanvers: what’s going on?

lancelot: were hooking up fliss and laurel!!!

agentdanvers: you know I have a job, right? I work for the government?

lancelot: and i work for the good of all humanity but do u see me complaining?????

puppydanvers: hey!!!

lancelot: *the good of all humanity and alienity

puppydanvers: I don’t think that’s a word but thanks anyway!!

agentdanvers: is this why you were reacting so strongly when laurel asked you whether you liked felicity?

irisbest: pretty much. that and she’s an idiot

lancelot: fair

speedygonzales: so whats ur 2nd thing

lancelot: ok no.2: were all pretty terrible at this so i decided to in bring the big guns

puppydanvers: I thought that I was the big guns!!!

lancelot: yh in fighting, but not in rship stuff

agentdanvers: she’s got a point

puppydanvers: thanks alex

lancelot: b e h o l d


lancelot added birb to the group letsgetdowntobusiness


birb: hello?

lancelot: KENDRA!!!!

birb: SARA???

lancelot: KENDRA!!!!!!!!

birb: SARA???????

lancelot: KENDRA!!!!!!!!!

birb: SARA???????????

irisbest: guys really

lancelot: KENDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lancelot: sorry u kno i gotta have the last word

birb: yeah I know

lancelot: k so every1 this is kendra saunders aka my soulmate

speedygonzales: doesnt kendra already have a soulmate????

lancelot: yes and its me

agentdanvers: I thought your soulmate was felicity

lancelot: nah fliss is my best friend but like in a way that transcends the best friend title

irisbest: I'm guessing because felicity said that ray is her best friend

lancelot: and kendras my soulmate

agentdanvers: do you have titles for all of your friends???

lancelot: obvs???

lancelot: like speedys my bro

speedygonzales: thanks bro!!!

lancelot: ur welcome bro!!!!!

lancelot: and jaxs my son

birb: I thought that Jax was Rip’s protege

lancelot: he was but then rip left and finders keepers you kno

birb: I don’t think it works like that

lancelot: and ud be so proud of jax and firestorm theyre really getting better

lancelot: wow ok so uve missed a lot now i thnk abt it

birb: like what?

lancelot: ok so alternate universes exist and kara and alex are from a different universe

puppydanvers: hi!! :D

agentdanvers: hey

birb: oh

birb: hello

lancelot: alos so do aliens and there was an alien invasion and we all teamed up to fite them off

lancelot: and i wouldve called u but i didnt kno where u were

birb: you could’ve gone into the future and found me when I came back to society

lancelot: …yep totally couldve done that

lancelot: u kno u took like 70% of the teams common sense when u left

birb: yeah I figured

lancelot: oh and also karas an alien

puppydanvers: that’s me btw!!!

birb: an alien???

puppydanvers: yep :D I’m kryptonian

birb: oh

lancelot: and we picked up 2 new team members and we maybe broke time but we fixed it again

agentdanvers: you broke time????

lancelot: but we fixed it again rnt secret agents meant to have good reading skills

lancelot: and rips left to ‘find himself’ or something even tho theres literally nowhere he could go bc we kinda blew up all his friends???

birb: well, not all of his friends

lancelot: wait

lancelot: is he w/u???

birb: not right now, he’s gone fishing with Carter

lancelot: ‘gone fishing’??????????????

birb: yes?


birb: that’s not how it’s spelt

birb: and it’s not my middle name either


lancelot: and excuse me for not being able to type hieroglyphs

birb: no???

birb: we’re still part bird remember???

puppydanvers: ????

lancelot: oh yh that reminds me how much percent bird r u????

birb: why?

puppydanvers: ????????????????

lancelot: bc amaya can kinda tlk to birds so i wanna kno what happens when she meets u

lancelot: amaya and nate r the new teammembers btw

lancelot: nates got metal skin and amaya is like some kind of animal whisperer???

lancelot: this 1 time she connected to a t rex and i missed it bc i was in rips mind un eviling him

lancelot: apparently ray cried

birb: that does sound like Ray

agentdanvers: a) your life is ridiculous

lancelot: thank

agentdanvers: b) how can somebody be part bird

lancelot: kendras a winged goddess

birb: demigoddess

lancelot: yh but ur a full goddess to me

birb: oh I’ve missed you

puppydanvers: demigoddess?????????

irisbest: just go with it

speedygonzales: yh sara tried to explain it to me once and it went completely over my head

irisbest: I just try not to think about it

lancelot: west rnt u fighting the god of speed

irisbest: that’s what he calls himself

irisbest: he’s just another meta

irisbest: no offence cait

snowqueen: None taken

birb: you’re a meta? when did that happen??

snowqueen: Long story

agentdanvers: okay so caitlin, jesse, barry, cisco and dinah are metas but kendra isn’t?

birb: nope, just a goddess

speedygonzales: NoPe JuSt A gOdDeSs

birb: yeah yeah

birb: and who are Dinah and Jesse?

lancelot: jesses a speedster from an alt earth but not the same 1 that alex and kara are from

lancelot: her earths kinda steampunk i think??? also shes a giant nerd and shes friends w/ jax

lancelot: dinahs the new black canary

lancelot: the team say shes not terrible at it but i havent seen her in action yet so

speedygonzales: shes great ud love her!!!

lancelot: man we rlly need 2 hav a canary meet up

lancelot: omg i completely forgot!!!!!

lancelot: laurels alive!!!!

birb: what???????

birb: when did that happen???????

lancelot: long story

lancelot: but it was bc of me!!!!

lancelot: im guessing rip told u lens alive??

lancelot: also bc of me!!!!

lancelot: (and mick i guess)

birb: he did yeah, he sounded happy about it

lancelot: rip had an emotion????

birb: Rip has emotions

lancelot: he has maybe 2

lancelot: 3 on a good day

birb: so anyway, is this a social call or is there an emergency?

lancelot: both

snowqueen: Not both

lancelot: both

lancelot: ok so were trying to get fliss and my sis to hook up

birb: oh, okay

lancelot: oooh new idea!!!!!


lancelot changed the group name to operationflisster


lancelot: bc im tryna make fliss my sis

irisbest: isn’t it kind of weird that you made out with her then?

birb: you made out with Felicity???

speedygonzales: iris

lancelot: iris

lancelot: do u rlly want to go there iris

lancelot: do u rlly

lancelot: and yes but we decided wed be better off as friends as you well know west

snowqueen: The operation name only really applies to you though

lancelot: thought u didnt rlly care abt this???

snowqueen: I didn’t at first but I’m invested now

lancelot: ugh fine


lancelot changed the group name to operatoinlaugh


speedygonzales: laugh???

lancelot: laurel and fliss = laf = laugh

speedygonzales: nice

birb: I see you haven’t stopped loving your elaborate mission names

lancelot: of course not its a part of me

lancelot: dont tell ray or nate tho, i like yelling at them for their stupid names


irisbest changed the group name to operationlaugh


lancelot: there was literally no need u all knew what it meant

birb: I’m starting to understand why you haven’t gotten very far with this

lancelot: yes bc iris is the worst, i knew it was a good idea to call u in

birb: it’s not that I don’t want to help but I think what you really need is someone who knows Laurel and Felicity better?

birb: I like them, but I’ve only really met them a few times?

lancelot: Oh No

birb: Sara?

lancelot: ....we need laurels best friend

speedygonzales: o m g

birb: what?

puppydanvers: oh

birb: seriously what??

lancelot: laurels best friend is nyssa

birb: your ex???

lancelot: yep

irisbest: ouch

lancelot: yep

speedygonzales: didnt u tell her u were going timetravelling like 2 yrs ago an then u never spoke 2 her again

lancelot: yEP

puppydanvers: maybe it won’t be that bad?

lancelot: i kno nys, shell be pissed at me but in a v passive aggressive way

lancelot: like so passive aggressive that u prob wont even notice

lancelot: but believe me i will

speedygonzales: idk, i didnt think she was that much of a subtle person

lancelot: theres subtle nd then theres hiding 2 yrs worth of rage under a blank expression which do u think is worse

birb: she didn’t sound that bad, from what you told me of her

speedygonzales: …u tlked abt her?

lancelot: sometimes

birb: a lot of times

birb: mostly while drunk


irisbest: I THINK WE DO

lancelot: et tu west

irisbest: are you kidding me you mock me all the time???

irisbest: you mocked me literally 2 minutes ago???

lancelot: but do i mock u abt ur relationships tho???

irisbest: yes????????

irisbest: you once teamed up with an alternate version of yourself to mock my boyfriend

lancelot: and i stand by that action

birb: you met alternate versions of yourselves????

lancelot: yh but it turned out ok

irisbest: didn’t time literally break

lancelot: yh but it turned out ok

birb: how long has it been since I left?

lancelot: idk approx a year????

lancelot: y

birb: I just thought you guys might have got better at it, that’s all

speedygonzales: damn kendra!!!

lancelot: i cannot believe...... after all the hyping up i did 4 u........ u disrespect me & my fam like that

agentdanvers: I mean, you’re kind of terrible

irisbest: KIND OF???????

lancelot: guys y

speedygonzales: yh dude i love u but u r not so good at the whole time travel thing

lancelot: yh but not as bad as team flash

irisbest: but it isn’t our job!!!

lancelot: then stop doing it then!!!!!

irisbest: but if you guys were better at your job maybe we wouldn’t have to!!!!!!!!

lancelot: woah woah woah dont blame me 4 ur bf not being able to control his feet ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snowqueen: Sara, can I ask something?

lancelot: sure y not its not like anyone is pulling their punches

snowqueen: Nyssa’s Laurel’s best friend, right?

lancelot: i think thats been established yes

snowqueen: And you haven’t spoken to her in two years?


snowqueen: So I’m guessing that the only person who has Nyssa’s number is Laurel?

birb: oh

irisbest: oh my god

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: sara: [ivemadeahugemistake.gif]

puppydanvers: oh no!!!

lancelot: well ths was a fun idea but operations over everybody go home

irisbest: come on lance, take one for the team

lancelot: but i dont want to

irisbest: you want laurel and felicity to get together?

lancelot: ugh yes

irisbest: and you think that nyssa can help?

lancelot: UGH YES

irisbest: then go and talk to her


lancelot: ur such a big sister

irisbest: thanks :)

lancelot: ok but how bc i dont lie to laurel

speedygonzales: ??????????

speedygonzales: ?????????????

lancelot: ...anymore

puppydanvers: just stick to a story but make sure you leave enough gaps that she can fill them in with reasonable details

puppydanvers: people find it easier to believe things when they can change the story themselves

lancelot: gotta admit was not expecting that from u

speedygonzales: rnt u like the actual embodiment of truth and justice and the american way

puppydanvers: apart from the fact that I’m not actually american

puppydanvers: you all remember that I’m not actually human right?

puppydanvers: I’ve been living here for about a dozen years and the alien amnesty act was only passed like a year ago

puppydanvers: I can’t exactly just tell people who I am

puppydanvers: I’m a surprisingly good liar :D

agentdanvers: she really isn’t

puppydanvers: people don’t realize that I’m supergirl

agentdanvers: they really do

lancelot: this sounds like something u guys hav argued abt a lot huh

lancelot: maybe u should air it out w/ us

puppydanvers: hey!! don’t use me and alex to distract yourself from your problems!!


lancelot: oh no guys

irisbest: ...what

lancelot: ok so sorry but it turns out that the timelines doing a thing and ive gotta go fix it

irisbest: oh I bet it is

lancelot: well i cant control the timeline west

agentdanvers: isn’t that literally your job

snowqueen: Then maybe we should make a plan for next time so you know what to do

lancelot: or maybe we shouldnt

irisbest: excellent idea dr snow

snowqueen: Thank you Miss West

lancelot: i hate u all

irisbest: well then you could just ask her now and get it over with?

lancelot: i hate u all

lancelot: ughhh

lancelot: fine but im not texting nyssa straight after bc i rlly do have an emergency

lancelot: and if laurel suspects anything then im blaming west

irisbest: I don’t think she’d believe that it’s my fault

lancelot: if laurel suspects anything then im blaming speedy

speedygonzales: what did i do???

lancelot: ur the only person here who shed believ did something wrong

speedygonzales: blame someone whos not here then!!!

lancelot: hmmmmmm ray

birb: don’t blame Ray!!

lancelot: cant blame ray cant use the danvers to distract myself from my problems what can i do???

irisbest: be a nice person that doesn’t use other people for your own means????

lancelot: plausible suggestions only pls

irisbest: you keep reminding us that you’re this bigshot time captain so go and suck it up and talk to your big sister

lancelot: oh

lancelot: ok


lancelot has left the group


irisbest: I didn’t think that was actually going to work?

speedygonzales: nah saras weak point has always been her ego

birb: I guess at least some things haven’t changed

agentdanvers: thea?

speedygonzales: yh?

agentdanvers: don’t you already have nyssa’s number? didn't you get it from laurel?

speedygonzales: oh wow it completely slipped my mind

speedygonzales: oh well i guess theres nothing we can do what a shame

speedygonzales: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

irisbest: ...damn queen, that’s cold


lancelot created the group laur!!!!!


lancelot added newandimproved to the group laur!!!!


lancelot: hey sis i love u

newandimproved: What do you want

lancelot: to say hello to my sister who i love?

newandimproved: Try again

lancelot: nyssas number

newandimproved: Why???

lancelot: cant tell u

newandimproved: Why???

lancelot: cant tell u

lancelot: but nothing illegal tho

newandimproved: The fact that you had to specify that makes me trust you less

lancelot: please

newandimproved: Don’t think that I’m going to just because you actually took the time to spell the word please

lancelot: I know that proper grammar is one of your weaknesses

newandimproved: ...not fair, Sara

lancelot: Please

newandimproved: Fine

lancelot: yes!!!

newandimproved: Nobody’s going to get hurt are they?

lancelot: bye sis love u!!!

newandimproved: I hope you and Thea aren’t up to something bad

lancelot: ??????

newandimproved: Thea asked for Nyssa’s number the other day? I figured this was related?

newandimproved: Sara???

lancelot: ohhhh its gonna be related to her murder

newandimproved: ????


lancelot has left the group


lancelot joined the group operationlaugh



speedygonzales: whoops

lancelot: u best be making ur goodbyes queen!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: GOODBYE


speedygonzales has left the group


lancelot has left the group


birb: is this how these chats normally go?

snowqueen: Actually I think we got more done than we did last time

agentdanvers: HOW????

Chapter Text

snowqueen added goodvibrations to the group missedme???


snowqueen: We should probably change that name

smoakandmirrors: cisco not that it’s not good to speak to you but why are you here???

goodvibrations: I’m not Cisco

snowqueen: Guys, this is Cynthia, she’s using Cisco’s phone

goodvibrations: Cindy

snowqueen: Right, sorry

irisbest: and why is she here

speedygonzales: yh what she said but w/ less veiled passive aggressiveness

irisbest: sorry, I didn’t mean that

goodvibrations: no I get it

snowqueen: She’s here because this is a group for female superheroes and she’s a female superhero

goodvibrations: I’m really not

irisbest: I mean, you kind of are?

irisbest: you helped us out last time with the meta gorillas

theboss: The what??

irisbest: don’t even start you two

speedygonzales: godamnit iris!!!!

puppydanvers: just don’t think about it

puppydanvers: their world has a weird number of animal related supervillains??

goodvibrations: I only helped because Cisco wouldn’t stop bugging me

irisbest: still

smoakandmirrors: !!!!!!!!

goodvibrations: what

smoakandmirrors: you’re that girl that cisco likes!!!!

goodvibrations: I suppose

irisbest: you suppose????????????

snowqueen: Cisco is already planning the wedding

lancelot: wait what since when does cisco have a new gf????

goddvibrations: we’re not dating

irisbest: you didn’t know?

lancelot: no???

smoakandmirrors: really?? ray knows and he isn’t usually quiet about this kind of thing

goodvibrations: we’re still not dating

smoakandmirrors: did you come back to e1 to see cisco????

goodvibrations: no

smoakandmirrors: aw

goodvibrations: I’m here tracking a dangerous fugitive

thirdtimesthecharm: you’re a cop?

irisbest: more like an interdimensional bounty hunter

rideordie: close enough

speedygonzales: if by close enough u mean way way awesomer then yh

newandimproved: Do you take people you catch straight to jail or to court?

irisbest: Oh Boy

newandimproved: ?????

irisbest: so the last time she was here she came to take hr back to be executed because he broke a law

goodvibrations: not just a law, the most important law on our earth

irisbest: and cisco had to appeal using trial by combat, so I’m guessing courts probably aren’t that big there

newandimproved: What??????

goodvibrations: that was still a stupid thing to do

irisbest: it was a brave thing to do

goodvibrations: stupidly brave

irisbest: yeah well that’s cisco

goodvibrations: and why what happens on your earth?

newandimproved: Okay so, here, or at least in our country

newandimproved: Or at least what should happen here

newandimproved: People get a trial first?

newandimproved: And they get a lawyer whose job is to convince the judge and jury that they’re innocent

newandimproved: And the city has a lawyer whose job is to convince the judge and jury that they’re guilty

newandimproved: And then the jury decides whether the person is innocent or not

newandimproved: And if they’re found guilty then the judge decides the punishment, which is usually jail time

goodvibrations: but what happens if the person is guilty but their lawyer is convincing enough that they’re let free?

speedygonzales: laurel beats them up

newandimproved: I mean, I used to

newandimproved: I’m mostly retired nowadays

speedygonzales: pls like we dont kno abt the muggers that keep being left tied up outside the police station

newandimproved: You don’t know that that’s me

smoakandmirrors: well it’s not us

thirdtimesthecharm: and if it was vigilante then they’d be dead

newandimproved: Maybe it’s someone else

smoakandmirrors: laurel we know it’s you

betterthanyou: ur not seriously telling me u guys have a vigilante called vigilante

irisbest: yeah they do

betterthanyou: guys

betterthanyou: guys no

thirdtimesthecharm: in our defense, he named himself that

thirdtimesthecharm: I think?

smoakandmirrors: yeah pretty much

irisbest: you realize that letting them name themselves makes it worse

speedygonzales: really???

speedygonzales: really iris????

speedygonzales: have u seen ur bad guys names??????

speedygonzales: i mean i bet everything that the guy ur chasing now has got a stupid name

goodvibrations: I don’t know his real name but he goes by Abra Kadabra

speedygonzales: i rest my case

speedygonzales: i cannot believe ur citys got a worse named bad guy than peekaboo

betterthanyou: sorry what

rideordie: that cant be real

agentdanvers: apparently it is

irisbest: hey shawna’s great!!!

snowqueen: Didn’t you knock her out once? While she was trying to hurt me?

irisbest: yeah but we’re good now

theboss: Seriously??

puppydanvers: yeah they have a weird relationship with their villains

thirdtimesthecharm: hey! team flash does, we don’t

lancelot: did u jst mock team flash???????

thirdtimesthecharm: I guess???

lancelot: damn

lancelot: welcome to team arrow!!!!

thirdtimesthecharm: thanks?

newandimproved: You’re not even on the team anymore

lancelot: pls once ur on the team ur always on the team

lancelot: its like the jets

irisbest: the football team???

lancelot: no like west side story god west i thought ur bf was obsessed w/ musicals

irisbest: they’re not really my thing though

goodvibrations: Abra may have a stupid name but he’s still dangerous

lancelot: i guess he gets a pass being from a different earth

puppydanvers: hey! being from a different earth doesn’t mean you have a stupid name!

lancelot: right sorry supergirl

puppydanvers: hey!!!!!!!

snowqueen: Actually he’s from our earth

speedygonzales: and from ur city yh???

speedygonzales: i mean abra kadabra just screams central city

irisbest: he’s only technically from here

lancelot: meaning???

irisbest: oh here we go

lancelot: ??????

goodvibrations: he’s from the 64th century

lancelot: guys can u go ten minutes w/o messing w/ time

lancelot: pls guys i beg u

irisbest: this wasn’t us!!!!

irisbest: he’s been using future technology to time travel and hop earths

irisbest: we had nothing to do with it!!!

lancelot: uh huh

irisbest: really!!!!

rideordie: so where is he now?

snowqueen: He’s locked up in the pipeline

rideordie: the what

smoakandmirrors: their private prison for metas

rideordie: is that legal on your earth???

newandimproved: Oh not even close

irisbest: oh like you can talk with your secret island prison

thirdtimesthecharm: wait we really have one of those???

irisbest: and don’t think that barry didn’t tell me about the deo

agentdanvers: we’re government sanctioned

irisbest: yeah I’m sure that that meta that barry helped you with after she escaped from your cells had a fair trial

goodvibrations: Abra shouldn’t be in there anyway

smoakandmirrors: you want to let the dangerous meta out of the meta proof cell?????

goodvibrations: he isn’t a meta

smoakandmirrors: really???

speedygonzales: omg his name is abra kadabra dont say its magic i hate magic

puppydanvers: ?????????????

theboss: Magic’s real???

lancelot: hey magic brought me back to life!!!!

theboss: What??

lancelot: and u practically!!!

speedygonzales: i kno but still

thirdtimesthecharm: sorry magic?? is that a thing we have to deal with in star???

smoakandmirrors: yep

smoakandmirrors: magic’s real and it’s sometimes cool but mostly it just sucks

lancelot: um excuse u do u want to say that to amayas face

smoakandmirrors: amaya and mari’s magic is fine, and the hawks’, it’s everyone else

speedygonzales: hot british guy tho

smoakandmirrors: ok constantine’s cool too i guess

smoakandmirrors: but everyone else!!

newandimproved: But what about that woman you met in Hub City?

smoakandmirrors: i mean she kind of creeped me out a bit but ok

smoakandmirrors: but everyone else!!!!!!!

rideordie: i can’t believe you just know so many people that use magic

newandimproved: You get used to it

snowqueen: Abra doesn’t have magical powers

speedygonzales: then why is he called abra kadabra

snowqueen: He has some kind of nanotechnology? But so advanced that it looks like magic

smoakandmirrors: oh, arthur c clarke right

snowqueen: Exactly

smoakandmirrors: but still, i’m guessing the cell is blocking his powers??

smoakandmirrors: why would you want to let him out???

goodvibrations: I’m here to take him back to my earth, remember?

goodvibrations: can’t exactly do that if he’s locked up on your earth

lancelot: so y dont u take him back to ur earth???

goodvibrations: because they won’t let me

goodvibrations: really I should just go and take him

goodvibrations: I’m only here because Cisco wouldn’t stop pouting until I took his damn com device

speedygonzales: !!!!!

goodvibrations: what

speedygonzales: com device

goodvibrations: yeah?

speedygonzales: nothing

speedygonzales: i love talking to other earthers

goodvibrations: guys its cisco i need to take my cell back sorry!!

smoakandmirrors: wait cisco!!!!

goodvibrations: ????

smoakandmirrors: i like her!!!!!!

goodvibrations: !!!!!!!

goodvibrations: i like her too!!!!!!

goodvibrations: :D

smoakandmirrors: :D


goodvibrations has left the group


smoakandmirrors: !!!!

smoakandmirrors: they’re adorable!

newandimproved: You guys are okay over there, aren’t you?

irisbest: yeah we’re good

irisbest: wait


irisbest has left the group


smoakandmirrors: oh come on!!!

smoakandmirrors: speedy have you heard anything?

speedygonzales: no, wallys on e3 w/ jesse rn and i dont rlly wanna scare them if it ends up being nothing

smoakandmirrors: i hate it when this happens

theboss: Are they okay?

smoakandmirrors: who even knows???

smoakandmirrors: they just disappear all the time and we never have any way of getting in touch with them

lancelot: yh and i dont rlly kno what happens round now so i cant even help

newandimproved: I don’t think Caitlin’s left though?

smoakandmirrors: cait you there???

smoakandmirrors: cait!!!!!

puppydanvers: what about barry or cisco?

smoakandmirrors: no i’m trying but nothing

smoakandmirrors: god i hate this

agentdanvers: do you think something happened with abra?

thirdtimesthecharm: it must’ve done

lancelot: maybe cindy got bored of waiting and jst took the dude????

smoakandmirrors: but then why wouldn’t cait be answering

lancelot: i dont kno fliss

lancelot: but i do kno that my convo w/ iris and cait hasnt happened 4 them yet so

lancelot: dont kno if that helps

smoakandmirrors: no that helps a lot

smoakandmirrors: thank you so much sara

lancelot: yh yh

theboss: How can it not have happened for them yet?

lancelot: oooooooh yh we never had the talk did we

speedygonzales: dont u mean the Talk™

lancelot: speedy u r so right thats exactly what i meant

theboss: About what?

newandimproved: Wow I’m surprised you didn’t bring it up sooner

lancelot: bc i am a model of restraint laurel

newandimproved: There is literally nothing that I can say to that

lancelot: yh so anyway

lancelot: im a time traveller

lancelot: and im the captain of a space/time ship

puppydanvers: !!!!!

lancelot: ???


lancelot: !!!!

lancelot: now thats a proper reaction

agentdanvers: just don’t ask how it works

theboss: Why not?

agentdanvers: because they don’t know

lancelot: do i need to kno how a car works to be able to drive it???

lancelot: or a computer to be able to use the internet????

lancelot: what

lancelot: guys???

lancelot: what??????

smoakandmirrors: that was a good analogy???

lancelot: yh whats ur point

newandimproved: You never make good analogies

lancelot: i make good analogies all the time?????

newandimproved: No that was literally your first one

lancelot: um no it wasnt????


irisbest joined the group missedme???


irisbest: we’re okay!!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: oh thank god

newandimproved: What happened?

irisbest: okay so first I just want to point out that everybody’s fine now

smoakandmirrors: that’s not helping!!!!

irisbest: my dad let abra go

smoakandmirrors: why?????

irisbest: because he said that he knows who savitar is

lancelot: oh

irisbest: he didn’t tell us anything though

irisbest: yeah, so he got out, and he caused an explosion and cait got hurt

irisbest: but she’s okay now!!!!!

irisbest: she’s passed out at the moment but surgery went fine

smoakandmirrors: she had surgery????

agentdanvers: isn’t caitlin your doctor???

irisbest: yeah she talked julian and I through it

smoakandmirrors: you operated??????

agentdanvers: she was awake???

irisbest: yes and yes

speedygonzales: damn snow

irisbest: yeah, she’s a total badass

irisbest: she’s amazing

irisbest: and just to reiterate: she’s fine

newandimproved: Thank god

irisbest: we put her phone on silent for the surgery and she’ll probably turn it back on when she wakes up

smoakandmirrors: ok good i need to talk to her to make sure she’s ok

smoakandmirrors: no offense iris, i do trust you

irisbest: no it’s okay I get it

smoakandmirrors: what about cisco’s girlfriend?

irisbest: she took abra back to her earth

smoakandmirrors: she just left???

irisbest: well

smoakandmirrors: well????

irisbest: not before she kissed him

smoakandmirrors: !!!!!!!

irisbest: I know!!!!

smoakandmirrors: ahhhh!!!!

irisbest: guys I have to go now

smoakandmirrors: well at least this time you’re telling us instead of just disappearing

newandimproved: What’s up?

irisbest: barry wants me to meet him at home

irisbest: apparently he wants to tell me something?


irisbest: yeah yeah

Chapter Text

irisbest created the group hey


irisbest added snowqueen to the group hey


irisbest: cait

irisbest: cait please answer me

irisbest: caitlin

irisbest: killer frost whatever

irisbest: please just talk to me

irisbest: I need to know you’re okay

irisbest: please


irisbest created the group sara


irisbest added lancelot to the group sara


lancelot: west??? whats up????

irisbest: you lied to me

lancelot: ???????

lancelot: probably but what abt

irisbest: you told me caitlin was going to be okay

lancelot: oh

irisbest: yeah oh

lancelot: actually i said she yelled at me and she helped me save the day

irisbest: but you implied she’d be okay

lancelot: yeah i did

lancelot: so much of caitlins problem was self fufilling prophecy

lancelot: i thought maybe if u all thought that shed be ok then she would be

irisbest: I did think that she’d be okay so I left her and she died

lancelot: she died???

irisbest: yes and when she was revived it was only killer frost that came back

lancelot: iris i dont think you couldve stopped it

irisbest: but I still shoulve been there

lancelot: im so sorry

irisbest: she tried to kill cisco

irisbest: caitlin loves cisco more than anyone else in the whole multiverse and she tried to kill him

lancelot: iris

irisbest: I really hope you didn’t lie to the others too

lancelot: i didnt

irisbest: of course you didn’t

lancelot: ???

irisbest: they’re actually your friends

lancelot: thats not true, ur all my friends and i care abt all of u

lancelot: im a time traveller and i kno u all scoff at me

lancelot: but its my job to fix things ok and im sorry i shouldve left this one alone

irisbest: yeah you should have

irisbest: next time stick to the time stream and leave my team out of it

lancelot: iris

irisbest: no I don’t want to talk to you right now

lancelot: ok

lancelot: i can leave u guys alone

irisbest: you do that


lancelot has left the group


irisbest deleted the group sara


irisbest created the group important


irisbest added smoakandmirrors, newandimproved and quicksort to the group important


smoakandmirrors: iris i’m so sorry

irisbest: yeah

irisbest: me too

quicksort: wait what’s happened???

irisbest: caitlin’s become killer frost

quicksort: no

newandimproved: What??? How???

irisbest: I’m sorry jesse

quicksort: I need to get over there

irisbest: no jesse stay where you are

irisbest: please

quicksort: no I need to do something

irisbest: jesse really

irisbest: is there’s anything you can do we’ll call you right away, I promise

quicksort: I just wish there was something I could do

irisbest: yeah I know

quicksort: but how did this even happen??

irisbest: I don’t know what happened she was stable when I left

irisbest: she died and julian took her necklace off so it stopped suppressing her powers and she healed

irisbest: but now she's not cait anymore

quicksort: what

quicksort: she wouldn’t want that

irisbest: jesse

quicksort: no why would he do that

irisbest: because he watched her die jesse!!!

irisbest: god jesse I'm sorry

irisbest: I shouldn't have said that

quicksort: no iris I get it

irisbest: still I shouldn’t have

irisbest: felicity did sara tell you?

smoakandmirrors: cisco actually

smoakandmirrors: actually i haven’t spoken to sara today?

smoakandmirrors: usually she’s here first?

smoakandmirrors: i guess it’s timelines

irisbest: actually it’s my fault

irisbest: I told her to stay away and I guess she listened

newandimproved: Sara’s thick-skinned, I’m sure she understands

irisbest: yeah she says that a lot

irisbest: I’m just so angry

irisbest: I think I took it out on her and she might not have deserved it all

smoakandmirrors: it’s ok

irisbest: no it’s not

irisbest: she did something kind of stupid but I don’t get to take how I feel out on her

irisbest: or anyone

irisbest: god this day


irisbest added lancelot to the group important


lancelot: ive been staying away????

lancelot: did i do something else?????

irisbest: no

irisbest: I wanted to apologize

lancelot: but it was my fault

irisbest: kind of, but I didn’t have to react like I did

irisbest: sara I’m sorry, it’s not your fault that cait’s like this

lancelot: oh

irisbest: I don’t know if it’s anyone’s fault at all

lancelot: im still sorry

lancelot: but thanks

lancelot: i get why ud want me 2 stay the hell away from but i still have to ask

lancelot: is there anything me and my team can do

irisbest: I don’t know

irisbest: I don’t even know if there’s anything that my team can do

smoakandmirrors: but we’re still trying, right?

newandimproved: Because we’re right here if you need us Iris

irisbest: thanks guys

smoakandmirrors: you’d do the same for any of us

quicksort: and we love her too

smoakandmirrors: iris

irisbest: yes?

smoakandmirrors: the security on this group’s pretty tight

smoakandmirrors: if i delete her from the group then she won’t be able to get back in, even if she gets a new number

irisbest: oh

smoakandmirrors: what do you want me to do?

irisbest: what do you think I should do?

smoakandmirrors: i think you know caitlin better than all of us

irisbest: can you leave her in?

irisbest: I know that it means that we all have to be more cautious talking about the work we’re doing

irisbest: and if you want to delete her then I totally understand

irisbest: but I want to believe that cait’s still in there

irisbest: and maybe seeing us would help?

irisbest: I know it’s probably stupid

lancelot: no its not

lancelot: i mean sorry i dont want to butt in

lancelot: but it was seeing my team again that brought back my more human side and maybe itll be the same for caitlin?

irisbest: no that helps

irisbest: thank you

irisbest: I guess I have to tell the others, don’t I

lancelot: does lisa kno?

irisbest: no cisco’s telling her

irisbest: I wouldn’t even know what to say

irisbest: I don’t even know what to say to the others

smoakandmirrors: i can tell them if you’d like?

smoakandmirrors: if that would help?

irisbest: you’d do that for me?

smoakandmirrors: of course

smoakandmirrors: we’re going to get her back iris

irisbest: yeah

irisbest: I hope so

Chapter Text

nr created the group Hello


nr added lancelot to the group Hello


lancelot: ??????? yo who dis

nr: Hello Sara

lancelot: nyssa????

nr: Laurel said that you wished to speak with me

lancelot: laurels a gossip and she should butt out

nr: You don’t mean that

lancelot: i could do!!!!

nr: Sara

lancelot: look i wanted to ask for ur help w/ some dumb thing that doesnt matter

nr: You were trying to get Laurel and Felicity into a romantic relationship

lancelot: thea told you

nr: She did, yes

lancelot: of course she did

lancelot: ok so there was this group of us and wed think of stupid plans and we never actually did anything

lancelot: and then there was 1 of us that thought the whole thing was pretty stupid but stuck around w/ us anyway

lancelot: and i didnt kno her as well as the others but she was so good and smart

lancelot: shes so young shes just a kid really

nr: Something happened to her

lancelot: shes sick nys and shes hurting herself and other ppl

lancelot: shes like how i was after the pit

lancelot: and i thought maybe i could help stop it but i did literally nothing useful whatsoever

nr: That isn’t your fault

lancelot: yh but this is

nr: What is?

lancelot: its been what 2 yrs for u? i shouldve have visited

lancelot: i have time travel for gods sake

nr: I didn’t exactly wish to be found

lancelot: yet laur managed to find u

nr: My relationship with Laurel is different than with you

lancelot: yh bc laur didnt break ur heart nd leave u locked up

nr: She couldn’t break my heart like you did because she didn’t hold my heart like you did

lancelot: godamnnit

nr: Sara?

lancelot: i miss u

lancelot: i always have

lancelot: did laur tell u i rejoined the league

nr: Before I dissolved it?

lancelot: yh in the 50s

lancelot: speaking of, i kno u said ur sister was older but not like 50ys older????

nr: It didn’t seem relevant at the time

lancelot: cant believe i almost forgot how cryptic u could be i swear

lancelot: so anyway

lancelot: i told ur dad to make sure that u were on a boat off lian yu in 2008

lancelot: also i maybe kind of told him to call u nyssa??? so i hope u like ur name

lancelot: nyssa?

lancelot: yh maybe its weird

lancelot: yep def weird prob shouldntve brought it up

nr: You brought us together

lancelot: no u brought us together when u saved me

lancelot: i just repaid the favor

nr: I miss you too

nr: I always have

lancelot: u were always the best of me

nr: As were you of me

nr: Though I like to think that we’ve made each other better

lancelot: uve spent 2 much time w/ laurel ur starting to sound like her

nr: Sara

lancelot: yh yh laurels the light of our lives i get it

lancelot: speaking of, did u 2 make out????

lancelot: bc laur says u didnt but ive got a bet going w/ speedy that u actually did

nr: We did not

lancelot: damn i needed that 50 bucks

lancelot: nys???

lancelot: u still there???

nr: Sometimes I’m reminded of how different we are

lancelot: HA

lancelot: is that ur way of tellin me im like the uncouth urchin in period dramas

lancelot: and ur the high society lady that every1 thnks is way too good 4 me

nr: It’s my way of telling you that I have never met anybody like you, and likely never will

lancelot: ugh

lancelot: u kno its not fair that ur so smooth

nr: I apologise

lancelot: god ur such a dork

lancelot: hey nys

nr: Yes?

lancelot: when i said i miss u i meant i love you

lancelot: just so u kno

nr: As did I

lancelot: yh?

nr: Of course

nr: You never have to ask that

lancelot: just its been a while so i wasnt sure

nr: I told you, always

lancelot: hey so

lancelot: what do u think

lancelot: wanna go on a date

lancelot: like a normal ppl date

lancelot: as if any of us r normal lol

lancelot: well probably end up having to go save the world like ten mins in

lancelot: a date w/ me that is

lancelot: just to clarify

lancelot: tho u already knew that obviously

lancelot: yh so u can stop me any time u want

nr: I would like that very much

lancelot: good

lancelot: awesome

lancelot: bc im standing outside ur door

nr: I know

nr: You’ve been there for five minutes

lancelot: ha!!! 15 actually!!!!

lancelot: ur getting sloppy in ur retirement!!!!

lancelot: altho actually im not sure if that makes u look bad or me look bad????

lancelot: argument could b made 4 both rlly

nr: Sara

lancelot: yep

nr: Come in

lancelot: yep

Chapter Text

speedygonzales: hey so remember that fun time when we all imagined felicity becoming a villain

lancelot: yes?

speedygonzales: so turns out not so fun

irisbest: no she can’t

quicksort: really???

thirdtimesthecharm: she’s working against us

agentdanvers: felicity? the one who’s basically a human version of my sister???

newandimproved: She isn’t actually evil, you know that Felicity would never do that

newandimproved: It isn’t like Caitlin, Iris, she’s in full control of herself

speedygonzales: oh no just hacking homeland security

speedygonzales: and planning to help a team of criminals break another criminal out of an argus site

speedygonzales: and stopping us from stopping them

lancelot: she isnt bad tho shes jst in a bad place rn

newandimproved: You’re in contact with her??

lancelot: no, future knowledge

lancelot: y, u rnt????

speedygonzales: not like we can just track her down or anything

thirdtimesthecharm: she’s felicity smoak

rideordie: i know that i don’t know you all as well and i don’t really know the situation

rideordie: but wont she be able to see everything here?

speedygonzales: im not stupid im not going to put anything sensitive on here

speedygonzales: just needed somewhere to vent


newandimproved: You don’t see her side at all?

speedygonzales: yes of course i do i did practically the same thing

speedygonzales: except i didnt have anyone to point out what a stupid idea it was

speedygonzales: AND SHE DOES

speedygonzales: and y, r u taking her side???

newandimproved: You know that I’m basically retired, I’m not taking anyone’s side

speedygonzales: not really an answer

newandimproved: It’s just, it’s Felicity

speedygonzales: yh i kno thats kinda the problem

agentdanvers: so what are you going to do?

thirdtimesthecharm: apparently we have to treat her like any other criminal

thirdtimesthecharm: except she knows everything about us and how we operate

speedygonzales: oh boy this is gonna be super fun

speedygonzales: hey remember the last time 1 of us went rogue aka me?



smoakandmirrors: you don’t have to yell

smoakandmirrors: and i’m pretty sure that oliver’s the last one that went rogue

newandimproved: Where are you????

smoakandmirrors: relax guys, i’m fine

newandimproved: That’s not an answer

irisbest: what are you doing felicity

smoakandmirrors: really guys, i’m okay

smoakandmirrors: this isn’t like cait iris i promise

smoakandmirrors: this is something i need to do

irisbest: I’m sure she thinks that too

smoakandmirrors: but it’s different this time

smoakandmirrors: i’m helping

speedygonzales: but you dont have to do it this way

smoakandmirrors: right of course

speedygonzales: ?????

smoakandmirrors: i’ve stood by for nearly five years while the rest of team arrow have done whatever it takes to save the city

smoakandmirrors: but now i’m meant to be the better one??????

smoakandmirrors: don't you guys remember that i was technically a criminal before all this vigilante stuff?????

smoakandmirrors: a proper one that is, not for some stupid drunk juvenile crime

smoakandmirrors: the only reason i’m not in some government blacksite right now is because my douchebag ex took the fall for me

smoakandmirrors: but no sure tell me how i’m too good to lower myself to everyone else’s level

speedygonzales: im not saying that

smoakandmirrors: kinda feels like it

lancelot: im guessing ollies been saying that to u

smoakandmirrors: yep

agentdanvers: but you’re not doing this just to spite him, right?

smoakandmirrors: no!!!

agentdanvers: okay, just making sure

smoakandmirrors: ???

betterthanyou: dont worry ur not gonna get any judgement from that direction

betterthanyou: alex is the queen of questionable decisions

agentdanvers: I’m not?

rideordie: babe

rideordie: yes you are

betterthanyou: didnt j’onn suspend u bc he thought u were gonna do a reckless thing and then u did it anyway

betterthanyou: like a few weeks ago

agentdanvers: it was the right thing to do!

betterthanyou: told u

agentdanvers: felicity I’m not going to try and stop you if you think what you’re doing is right

smoakandmirrors: thank you

agentdanvers: just make sure you have a back up plan

rideordie: but you didn’t have a back up plan??

agentdanvers: yes I did???

agentdanvers: you and kara???

rideordie: oh

betterthanyou: gee thanks danvers

agentdanvers: lucy you’re as reliable as kara is in the kitchen

betterthanyou: wow

betterthanyou: i honestly dont think ive ever been this offended

betterthanyou: kara ur not gonna defend urself????

agentdanvers: oh she’s not here

agentdanvers: her and lena are going to a conference

betterthanyou: right yh the nerd date

agentdanvers: no that’s not what it is

betterthanyou: oh it so is

rideordie: kind of is

lancelot: is kara making a move????

rideordie: actually lena invited her

lancelot: oooooooh

lancelot: i didnt expect that

agentdanvers: it’s not a date, it’s a work thing

lancelot: aw ur cute

smoakandmirrors: hey i thought that was our thing!

lancelot: ur still the cutest fliss ;)

smoakandmirrors: :)

smoakandmirrors: guys i think i might have to leave soon

betterthanyou: so i dont kno the whole situation and im not gonna pretend to kno the right course of action

betterthanyou: but ive been of both sides of this kind of thing and ive gotta point out that both sides make sense when ur on them

smoakandmirrors: i’m not on a different side

smoakandmirrors: i’m just side adjacent?

speedygonzales: look i kno u and i kno ur not rlly a bad person

smoakandmirrors: thanks?

speedygonzales: what im saying is theres no way ur gonna do something actually unforgivable

speedygonzales: but also i kno how hard ollie & digg take these kind of things

speedygonzales: so even if they kick u out then u can always come round mine ok

smoakandmirrors: even though you think i’m being an idiot?

speedygonzales: yh but when rnt u

smoakandmirrors: thanks speedy

lancelot: the legends are mostly ex criminals anyway so u kno

lancelot: always a spot open 4 u fliss

lancelot: actually i think ray would combust out of excitement

smoakandmirrors: should i be worried that you all think this is going to go badly

speedygonzales: yes u should thats exactly y we said it tahts the whole point

smoakandmirrors: yeah so i actually do have to leave now

speedygonzales: goddamnit

irisbest: felicity

smoakandmirrors: iris i really have to go

irisbest: just wait for a second yeah

irisbest: I know that you think you have to do this but please be careful

irisbest: and please don’t do anything that you could regret

irisbest: maybe it’s selfish but I really don’t want to lose another friend

smoakandmirrors: i’m still here iris, and cait will be here again soon, you know that

irisbest: so you say


smoakandmirrors has left the group


thirdtimesthecharm: well I’m sure this will be fun


thirdtimesthecharm has left the group


newandimproved: Guys, I think we should be there for this

speedygonzales: yh some1s gotta stop felicity and ollie from killing each other


newandimproved has left the group


speedygonzales has left the group


irisbest: now what

lancelot: i dont kno if any1 was talking to each other after

lancelot: but im pretty sure nobody dies

lancelot: so theres that i guess?

Chapter Text

speedygonzales joined the group missedme???


speedygonzales added newandimproved, smoakandmirrors and thirdtimesthecharm to the group missedme???



irisbest: oh thank god

irisbest: is it over??

thirdtimesthecharm: oh yeah that was over a while ago

irisbest: then why have you all been on radio silence for nearly three days???

smoakandmirrors: wait you guys didn’t go back either?

speedygonzales: no bc we were worried abt u

speedygonzales: idiot

smoakandmirrors: oh

smoakandmirrors: really guys, i’m fine

newandimproved: You shouldn’t even be on your phone

smoakandmirrors: there’s nothing wrong with my arms laurel

irisbest: meaning there’s something wrong somewhere else???

rideordie: what happened?

smoakandmirrors: prometheus set off an emp in the base

irisbest: oh my god

lancelot: fliss ur implant

irisbest: oh my god I didn’t even think about that

smoakandmirrors: no it’s fine! it might take a day or so for the implant to be properly fixed

smoakandmirrors: it just means i might be stuck in bed for a bit

irisbest: you don’t have a chair?

irisbest: because barry or wally can run one down if you need one

smoakandmirrors: no i’ve got a chair but someone won’t let me get out of bed

newandimproved: I think you’re being a tad dramatic

smoakandmirrors: am i laurel

smoakandmirrors: am i

newandimproved: Yes?

lancelot: oh boy has laurel gone full mother hen

speedygonzales: ...maybe a little

smoakandmirrors: yes it’s the worst

newandimproved: You could’ve died Felicity

smoakandmirrors: okay but counterpoint: i didn’t

newandimproved: You’ve spent way too much time with Sara

lancelot: u say that like its a bad thing???

smoakandmirrors: and oliver was in a much worse shape than me anyway

newandimproved: Ollie’s got Thea at the moment

smoakandmirrors: thea was here a few hours ago???

newandimproved: Oh wow

smoakandmirrors: ???

speedygonzales: the fact that u havent realized that weve worked out a schedule probably means u shud stay in bed 4 a while

smoakandmirrors: oh

puppydanvers: so what’s wrong exactly?

smoakandmirrors: so long story but i have a spinal implant that allows me to use my legs

smoakandmirrors: and it didn’t react well to the emp obviously

smoakandmirrors: but curtis will have it working again in no time

smoakandmirrors: probably

irisbest: and is everyone else okay?

smoakandmirrors: oliver had to have surgery but he was up and about not long after

speedygonzales: and apparently the bby team got to properly bond so thats good

thirdtimesthecharm: you realize I’m right here

speedygonzales: whats ur point

smoakandmirrors: so what about you guys?

smoakandmirrors: has anything been happening in your places?

irisbest: we’ve maybe got a new girl on team flash

speedygonzales: already?

irisbest: nobody’s replacing anyone

speedygonzales: i kno, thats not what i was saying

smoakandmirrors: so what’s she like?

irisbest: ...she’s really like you actually???

irisbest: I can’t believe I didn’t notice that

smoakandmirrors: i bet she’s awesome

speedygonzales: i bet shes irritating

smoakandmirrors: please, i know you love me

speedygonzales: yh yh ur like the sister i never had

newandimproved: Hey???

lancelot: um excuse me???

speedygonzales: *like the younger sister i never had

smoakandmirrors: i’m older than you??

speedygonzales: mentally tho

smoakandmirrors: you’re saying you’re mentally older than me????


speedygonzales: yes and yes

smoakandmirrors: ????????????????

lancelot: burn

smoakandmirrors: you’re insulting yourself???

lancelot: pls we all kno that it insults u more than me

irisbest: anyway, I was just telling you so you know

irisbest: I can’t actually add her

rideordie: you don’t trust her?

irisbest: I don’t really know yet, but apparently future barry does?

lancelot: EXCUSE ME WHAT

irisbest: oh no


irisbest: not to?

lancelot: EXACTLY

lancelot: im gonna make u guys a powerpoint on y not to mess w/ time

newandimproved: I’m pretty sure that you haven’t used powerpoint once in your entire life

lancelot: im gonna get ray and nate to make u guys a powerpoint on y not to mess w/ time

irisbest: this is probably the last time

irisbest: and no, it’s not because of trust

irisbest: it’s because she’s the one that helps trap savitar in the future

puppydanvers: so why does that mean you can’t add her?

irisbest: because caitlin keeps trying to kill her

smoakandmirrors: oh

irisbest: yeah

irisbest: it’s complicated

irisbest: and I can’t exactly talk about it on here sorry

smoakandmirrors: no we get it

irisbest: so what about you guys?

lancelot: HOW WAS THE NERD DATE??????

puppydanvers: ????

rideordie: she means the conference

puppydanvers: oh

lancelot: oh???

speedygonzales: that bad huh

puppydanvers: no the conference was very interesting

puupydanvers: but the technology was later used to murder people

speedygonzales: oh

puppydanvers: yeah

puppydanvers: which is why lena’s not here

puppydanvers: it wasn’t a good day

puppydanvers: actually do you mind if I leave? I was thinking of checking in on her before I get to work

irisbest: no of course

speedygonzales: hey tell her we hope shes ok?

puppydanvers: I will

puppydanvers: felicity, I hope you and oliver are feeling better soon

smoakandmirrors: thanks kara


puppydanvers has left the group


speedygonzales: i guess this has been a pretty terrible couple of days all around

lancelot: well

smoakandmirrors: well what???

lancelot: well

irisbest: oh please tell me that after all the yelling you did that the legends haven’t screwed up time

smoakandmirrors: again

irisbest: again

lancelot: nope

speedygonzales: so what then????

lancelot: ...well

smoakandmirrors: sara

lancelot: ...well

newandimproved: She’s got back with Nyssa

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: oh my god sara!!!!

lancelot: laurel

newandimproved: I couldn’t stand you dragging it out

lancelot: cant believe she told u

newandimproved: She’s my best friend

lancelot: yh but shes my girlfriend

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i’m so happy for you guys

lancelot: yh were awesome


irisbest has left the group


smoakandmirrors: okay that’s it i’m making it a rule that the central guys can’t just leave the group

smoakandmirrors: every time they do it turns out something really bad has happened again

rideordie: i don’t think you can control that

smoakandmirrors: don’t care


irisbest joined the group missedme???


newandimproved: That was shorter than usual?

smoakandmirrors: please tell me that something else hasn’t happened

irisbest: when isnt something happening

irisbest: did you know

smoakandmirrors: ?????

lancelot: im gonna take a wild guess and say ur talking 2 me

irisbest: I am

lancelot: so what is it that im meant 2 have known

irisbest: did you know that savitar is barry

smoakandmirrors: what???

speedygonzales: wait what

lancelot: oh

irisbest: sara

lancelot: when i spoke 2 u, u said that 2 of ur best friends were trying to kill u, but i stopped u b4 u could tell me who were talking abt

irisbest: well that’s something at least

smoakandmirrors: but how can he be barry?

irisbest: he’s a time remnant

smoakandmirror: okay so that’s how, but it still doesn’t eaplain why

smoakandmirrors: no version of barry could kill you and hurt wally

irisbest: apparently this one could

irisbest: and has

irisbest: and now he's got cait

irisbest: god no wonder he was able to convince her to work with him

lancelot: when hes from?

irisbest: a few years ahead

lancelot: oh thats not good

irisbest: you don’t have to tell me that

lancelot: sorry

irisbest: no I guess I’ve just started to get used to this sort of thing

rideordie: can i ask what a time remnant is?

irisbest: I’ll try but usually I’m not the person who explains these things

irisbest: so speedsters can run so fast that they go back in time right?

irisbest: and usually the version of them from the old timeline disappears

irisbest: but sometimes they don’t?

irisbest: and they’re called time remnants

betterthanyou: yh so im not a science person but im p sure that makes 0 sense

rideordie: so like everything else on their earth then

Chapter Text

boom created the group hello


boom added newandimproved to the group hello


boom: We never got a chance to talk

boom: I figured that should change

newandimproved: And you are???

boom: You don’t recognise your own doppelganger?

newandimproved: Siren???

boom: Canary

newandimproved: How are you even on here??

boom: Please

newandimproved: You’re meant to be in prison

boom: Oh you are adorable

newandimproved: Okay Caitlin was right, being hit on by your double is just wrong

boom: Caitlin? You mean this earth’s Killer Frost?

newandimproved: No

newandimproved: She’s a good person

boom: By good you mean boring

boom: I met her once, wasn’t too impressed

newandimproved: She’s far better than you’ll ever be

boom: Am I meant to be hurt by that?

newandimproved: I hope you know that I’ve already told my team that you broke out of prison

boom: Of course I know. That’s what I’d do

newandimproved: I’m nothing like you

boom: Give it time

newandimproved: And what is that meant to mean

boom: I’ve read up on your history. I’m surprised you still help these people

boom: This city has brought you nothing but pain

newandimproved: Because I’m strong

newandimproved: Because I’m stronger than you

boom: Are your friends strong too?

newandimproved: Stay the hell away from them

boom: Relax Canary, I don’t tend to go after people

newandimproved: I have some friends that would beg to differ

boom: Because the man that broke me out of the Flash’s prison asked me to hurt them

boom: I honestly don’t care either way

newandimproved: Right, so you’re a safety conscious supervillian

boom: I like to cause destruction and if people get in the way then that’s their problem

newandimproved: Oh

boom: What

newandimproved: I didn’t understand before, how any version of me could be like you

newandimproved: But now I think I get it

boom: Really

newandimproved: I’ve never really liked hurting people, but I don’t lose much sleep over it either

newandimproved: And I know what it’s like to want to scream until everything crumbles around you

newandimproved: Siren?

newandimproved: Don’t tell me I scared you off

boom: As if you could

boom: You called me Siren

newandimproved: Well I don’t exactly know what name you go by

boom: I go by Siren

boom: Everyone else keeps calling me Laurel and it’s not my name

newandimproved: Then I’ll tell them not to

boom: Why would you do that?

newandimproved: I hated it when people used to call me Dinah

newandimproved: Sara used to yell at them until they called me Laurel

boom: Oh

newandimproved: I think that you and my Sara would get on pretty well actually, if you wanted to meet

boom: Ten minutes ago you were threatening to set your team on me and now you’re introducing me to your baby sister

newandimproved: Well she’s technically older than me, for one

newandimproved: And for two, you’re me. You couldn’t hurt her if you tried

newandimproved: Partly because she’d kick your ass before you could lift a finger against her

boom: Oh I’d love to see her try

newandimproved: ????

newandimproved: Did you just??

boom: Probably

newandimproved: Okay you can flirt with me but I draw the line at flirting with Sara

boom: I can flirt with you?

newandimproved: No

newandimproved: Please don’t

boom: It’s not as if I don’t know what you like

newandimproved: I’ve changed my mind, you can’t ever meet her, it would be a nightmare

boom: Worried I’ll be a bad influence?

boom: Because honey I so would

newandimproved: Oh my god

newandimproved: You’re not as bad as they say you are, are you

boom: Yes I am

boom: Just because I don’t set out to hurt people doesn’t mean I won’t

newandimproved: I know

newandimproved: It’s what I would do

boom: I know

newandimproved: You were in a bad position when you went up against my team, and they were in a bad place

newandimproved: If you turned yourself in I could argue for you

boom: Such a lawyer

newandimproved: You aren’t?

boom: I prefer the other side of the law

boom: And I don’t need your help

boom: You think that just because we share a face we’re friends?

newandimproved: I think we share the same DNA and the same family and that we understand each other in a way no one else could

newandimproved: I think that makes us sisters

boom: Wow

boom: You’re delusional

newandimproved: Maybe

newandimproved: But I brought one sister back from the dead, I think I could bring another to the light

boom: You could try

newandimproved: Well I think that you of all people should know how much I enjoy a challenge

boom: And if people get hurt in this little game of yours?

boom: Or die?

newandimproved: People get hurt every day in this line of work

newandimproved: If people die, you die

newandimproved: What, that’s it?

newandimproved: I threaten you once and you run off?

boom: I told you that you couldn’t scare me

boom: But maybe I was wrong about some other things

newandimproved: How so?

boom: You are strong

newandimproved: Yes

boom: But not stronger than me

newandimproved: No

newandimproved: I’m as strong as you

boom: I think you just might be

boom: I’m sure that by now your team has reached the place that this phone’s signal seems to be coming from

boom: You can tell your little blonde nerd that she shouldn’t feel too bad, her computers are light years behind the tech on my world

boom: It wasn’t hard to spoof the signal

boom: Oh, and Laurel? You should know that I enjoy a challenge too

newandimproved: Oh I’m looking forward to it

Chapter Text

lancelot changed the group name to laurellanceisahypocrite


irisbest: ????

newandimproved: For the last time Sara it’s not the same situation!!

irisbest: ??????

speedygonzales: what isnt?? whats going on????

lancelot: so after all that ‘oh no sara u cant flirt w/ urself its weird and wrong’

newandimproved: You can’t and it is!!!!

lancelot: laurel jst goes and does it anyway!!

irisbest: sorry you did what

smoakandmirrors: wait what

speedygonzales: damn get it laurel/s

newandimproved: I didn’t flirt with her, she flirted with me!!!!!!

newandimproved: And it was very uncomfortable!!!!

thirdtimesthecharm: so is this just a thing that happens around here?

speedygonzales: i feel like we can probably file this under ‘lance sister things’

thirdtimesthecharm: oh thank god

smoakandmirrors: and why am i only hearing about this now???

newandimproved: I told Sara first because I thought she’d know what to do???

lancelot: well i mean rlly thats on u

speedygonzales: so whats she like anway

newandimproved: What do you mean?

speedygonzales: i still havent met her??? is she jst you but evil????

speedygonzales: or is there like a whole different personality????

newandimproved: We’re quite similar actually

newandimproved: It’s more than a little discomforting

smoakandmirrors: ok but you know that doesn’t really mean anything right

irisbest: it really doesn’t

irisbest: and believe me, I've dealt with alternate universes a lot

quicksort: I second that

newandimproved: Still

newandimproved: It isn’t nice knowing that you weren’t that far from becoming a villain

newandimproved: Oh god sorry Iris

irisbest: none of this is your fault laurel

irisbest: and it’s true, I guess we never really know how close any of us are to that

lancelot: uh hey guys??? mind if i talk abt something happier????

irisbest: please

lancelot: so yall kno how i have a gf now???

smoakandmirrors: don’t use y’all

lancelot: ill use whatever i want and yallll like it

smoakandmirrors: that’s too many l’s????

lancelot: y’all’ll

smoakandmirrors: no

newandimproved: I see this is already going off to a great start

lancelot: w/e hypocrite

newandimproved: I swear to god Sara

lancelot: anyway


lancelot added nr to the group laurellanceisahypocrite


lancelot: so to everyone who hasnt met her, this is nyssa!!!!!

nr: Hello everyone

quicksort: hi! I'm jesse and I have this:

quicksort: [introductions.xls]

quicksort: it's a list of everyone's names, so you know who we all are!

nr: Thank you, though it wasn't needed

quicksort: it wasn't??

lancelot: yh my bbys a spy, she already knos who u all r

lancelot: yep, even the other worlders and the timetravellers

lancelot: shes jst that good

smoakandmirrors: nice to see you're as terrifying as always

nr: Thank you

speedygonzales: hi again nyssa!!!!!

nr: Hello Thea

speedygonzales: cant believe ur dating this dork again

lancelot: hey??

nr: She is very lucky

lancelot: hey?????

thirdtimesthecharm: okay I already like you

nr: You’re Dinah, right? Laurel speaks highly of you

thirdtimesthecharm: really?

newandimproved: Of course

newandimproved: You’re the second best canary

thirdtimesthecharm: yeah I’ll take that

lancelot: oh is this jst pick on sara day?????

speedygonzales: when isnt it

lancelot: dude

newandimproved: Actually


newandimproved changed the group name to nationalpickonsaralanceday


lancelot: WOW

lancelot: so somebodys salty

newandimproved: Oh I wonder why

irisbest: wow you two really are unbelievable

lancelot: um excuse me west????

newandimproved: Excuse me???

smoakandmirrors: you know sometimes i’m so glad i’m an only child

thirdtimesthecharm: amen to that

quicksort: I always wanted a sister, but seeing you two I think I’m good

lancelot: u guys r jst jealous

thirdtimesthecharm: oh we’re really not

lancelot: ok listen here canary jr

smoakandmirrors: quick someone change the subject before she finishes

irisbest: actually I do have something to talk about

lancelot: goddamnit west

quicksort: so what's up?

irisbest: so

irisbest: did I ever tell you all that the love of my life is an idiot

lancelot: i mean we inferred

nr: I assume you’re talking about Barry Allen

lancelot: aw babe u listen to me

irisbest: do you really call him an idiot that much??

nr: She does

lancelot: at least once a conversation tbh

newandimproved: Has something happened?

irisbest: so he and cisco decided the best way to defeat savitar was to make sure that he didn’t remember how things played out the first time

quicksort: that makes sense

irisbest: so they gave barry amnesia

quicksort: oh

quicksort: oh no

irisbest: yep

smoakandmirrors: wait he actually did it???

irisbest: felicity

smoakandmirrors: yes

irisbest: why does it sound like you already knew about this

irisbest: felicity

irisbest: felicity

smoakandmirrors: …cisco maybe asked for my advice beforehand

irisbest: and your advice was amnesia????

smoakandmirrors: no!!!!

smoakandmirrors: he’d already decided to do that!!!

smoakandmirrors: i told him it wasn’t that great of an idea and i didn’t think he would actually do it!!!

lancelot: wow so thsi is what it feels like

irisbest: what

lancelot: nothing, dw


lancelot: well jst u kno

lancelot: usually u guys r telling us that weve done something stupid so

irisbest: oh my god

lancelot: feels good

irisbest: do you have to be so smug

lancelot: oh absolutely

quicksort: guys, do you want me to come over?

quicksort: you don’t really have a bio person there, do you?

irisbest: that’s kind of you to ask, but no

irisbest: we’ve got someone

quicksort: you found a new biomedic???

irisbest: more like an old one

quicksort: ???

irisbest: caitlin’s here

irisbest: well, killer frost, whatever

lancelot: and shes helping u???

irisbest: reluctantly

irisbest: but yeah

speedygonzales: is she here here???

speedygonzales: like back in the chat???

snowqueen: You know, I never actually left

smoakandmirrors: cait?

snowqueen: No

snowqueen: And I’m only talking to you people because I’ve got nothing else to do right now

lancelot: u ppl??? thats kind of…


newandimproved: Sara Lance don’t you dare

lancelot: cold

newandimproved: Sara no

snowqueen: You know that there isn’t exactly anything stopping me from just killing these people, right?

irisbest: cisco would stop you

snowqueen: Please

snowqueen: Vibe isn’t that powerful

irisbest: hey so you want us to call you killer frost? then you call us by our names okay

irisbest: also cisco could kick your frozen ass from here to keystone and you know it

snowqueen: If you say so

speedygonzales: yo no offense but im p sure that felicity wasnt this much of an asshole when she went evil

nr: Felicity went evil?

lancelot: ehhh kind of????

smoakandmirrors: oh my god guys i went against the team for like 5 minutes

smoakandmirrors: wait, why are you helping team flash out anyway?

snowqueen: Because I am

smoakandmirrors: wow

irisbest: because if barry doesn’t remember then savitar won’t remember and then they can’t kill me

snowqueen: It’s not my plan

irisbest: yeah so fun fact that actually makes it worse

snowqueen: I honestly couldn’t care less

irisbest: oh boy this is fun

speedygonzales: wait so have u been reading these chats the whole time??????

snowqueen: Occasionally

snowqueen: Why

speedygonzales: sorry im jst thinking of u mid evil plan and then ur phone beeps and its sara talking bout gay shit

lancelot: that does sound like me

snowqueen: It’s still not my plan

irisbest: yeah that’s still not any better

nr: Then what is your plan?

snowqueen: And you are?

nr: Nyssa

lancelot: my gf!!!!!!

snowqueen: You’re telling me you actually took her back?

nr: It was mutual, as every good relationship should be

nr: And you did not answer my question

snowqueen: Why would I tell you anything?

nr: I don’t believe you can

nr: You don’t have a plan, do you?

nr: I didn’t, when I was as lost as you seem to be

nr: It took a lot of time and effort to get myself back from that place, but I did. And I was forgiven

nr: I believe that you could be too

nr: Hello?

irisbest: I don’t think she’s going to reply

nr: I apologise, I didn’t mean to chase her away

nr: I should have stopped talking

irisbest: no, thank you

irisbest: it means a lot that you’d say that

irisbest: maybe it’s stupid to still hold out hope, but I do, so

irisbest: and she hasn’t left the group, so I guess that’s something

lancelot: in the meantime, im gonna tlk abt a lot of gay shit so she always has smthing to look at

irisbest: wow what a sacrifice

lancelot: just doing my bit

Chapter Text

puppydanvers joined the group nationalpickonsaralanceday


puppydanvers: hey guys, hope I’m not interrupting anything?

smoakandmirrors: oh hey kara!!! how are you?

lancelot: hey kara is it bad none of us noticed u guys were gone

newandimproved: Oh my god Sara

puppydanvers: I’m fine

puppydanvers: and no, I understand how hectic your lives are

smoakandmirrors: what do you mean you’re fine??? did something happen???

puppydanvers: sorry to go silent but we were looking for alex

smoakandmirrors: what????????

agentdanvers: it’s okay I’m fine

rideordie: you shouldnt be on the phone babe

agentdanvers: I’m fine sawyer

agentdanvers: besides I can’t fall asleep, j’onn is making lucy look after me since you left

betterthanyou: hey!!! dont be so ungrateful!!! there r many ppl who wud love to have me at their bedside!!!!

agentdanvers: so if I fall asleep you won’t draw on my face with magic marker huh

betterthanyou: no

irisbest: yeah I’m in a whole different universe and I still felt the complete insincerity of that

lancelot: different universe and different time and i felt it

newandimproved: What happened?

agentdanvers: ugh

agentdanvers: got kidnapped

newandimproved: Are you okay??

lancelot: wtf danvers

smoakandmirrors: oh my god are you ok????

agentdanvers: I’ve been worse

lancelot: seriously wtf danvers

agentdanvers: but yeah it sucked

agentdanvers: but kara and maggie found me

rideordie: but not before alex pulled out these special forces moves

rideordie: amazing

agentdanvers: you’re really impressed huh

rideordie: im dating a badass

agentdanvers: yeah you are

betterthanyou: kara and maggie?????

agentdanvers: oh yeah of course how could I forget j’onn?

agentdanvers: and lena obviously

theboss: Thanks Alex!

agentdanvers: you’re welcome!!

agentdanvers: and I think james and winn were there too?

agentdanvers: oh and can’t forget vasquez!

betterthanyou: oh ur so lucky i dont hit injured ppl

agentdanvers: you hit me ten minutes ago

betterthanyou: that was a friendly tap!!!!

agentdanvers: and really I’m fine

agentdanvers: I’d like to talk about literally anything else though if you don’t mind

agentdanvers: besides I’m so bored in this bed what did I miss

smoakandmirrors: are you sure???

agentdanvers: really

agentdanvers: like for starters, what’s up with the new group name???

lancelot: ugh

newandimproved: Sara was being facetious

lancelot: oh pls we all kno big words laurel

irisbest: oh come on guys don’t start this up again

lancelot: excuse u i didnt start anything

newandimproved: Except you literally did???

agentdanvers: I’m sorry if I started something?

speedygonzales: jst petty sibling arguing

betterthanyou: ah


smoakandmirrors changed the group name to bothlancesaregreat


smoakandmirrors: happy now????

lancelot: ...maybe

newandimproved: ...maybe

smoakandmirrors: how am i friends with you two you’re both children

lancelot: i mean u were friends w/ ollie 1st tho????

speedygonzales: ooooh

newandimproved: You can’t mock Ollie when he’s not here to defend himself

lancelot: ur disagreeing w/ me?????

newandimproved: I never said that

speedygonzales: oooooooh

theboss: So what did happen? If I can ask?

lancelot: oh yh sure ask away lets tell every1

newandimproved: If you even think of calling me a hypocrite again then I will physically travel to your location and punch you

puppydanvers: ??????

lancelot: as opposed to mentally travelling to my location

newandimproved: Oh just try me

smoakandmirrors: so laurel’s evil twin decided to break out of prison and flirt with laurel

smoakandmirrors: and sara’s acting like a brat because laurel yelled at her for for trying to make out with her alt future self

smoakandmirrors: and so she thinks it’s a bit hypocritical

puppydanvers: ???????????

rideordie: how is every word in that sentence stranger than the last?????

agentdanvers: once again, your earth is ridiculous

irisbest: black siren’s from jesse’s earth actually

theboss: Is that a thing on your earth?? You flirting with yourselves???

speedygonzales: it’s a lance thing

thirdtimesthecharm: I really hope it’s just them, and not a canary thing

newandimproved: Once again, I didn’t flirt back!!

newandimproved: And hey so maybe let’s talk about something else??

newandimproved: Something that doesn’t involve me??

lancelot: yh sure ok

newandimproved: Oh

newandimproved: Thanks Sara

lancelot: allen wiped his own memories!!!!

irisbest: thanks sara

agentdanvers: ????????

rideordie: wait you can do that??

theboss: Why?

agentdanvers: why would he do that

irisbest: you’ve just been waiting to bring that up haven’t you

lancelot: oh yh totally

lancelot: ive programmed it into the ships calendar as a ship wide holiday

lancelot: im probably gonna get it written on one of my tombstones

theboss: One of??

agentdanvers: don’t even ask

irisbest: and it’s a long story but he did have a reason

lancelot: the reason is hes an idiot

irisbest: and they’re back now anyway

irisbest: because killer frost helped. which is also a long story

irisbest: things are just awesome down in central

theboss: Killer Frost?

irisbest: like I said, long story

irisbest: but caitlin’s now a supervillain

irisbest: somehow

irisbest: and she’s still lurking around in the chat, so I guess be careful about what you say

puppydanvers: I hope you’re okay, caitlin

irisbest: she probably won’t reply, but thanks

irisbest: maybe we could talk about something else that happened??

irisbest: sara???

lancelot: what???

nr: I believe she’s referring to me

puppydanvers: um hello???

nr: Hello

lancelot: oh yh also i got back w/ the love of my life nbd

puppydanvers: oh are you nyssa??!!!!

nr: I am, it’s nice to meet you

rideordie: are you really a ninja assassin? because no offense lance, but i dont really believe half of what you say

lancelot: fair

nr: I was, but I’m retired

betterthanyou: oh

lancelot: didnt u kill some1 yesterday

nr: Yes, but I wasn’t hired to do it

rideordie: wow okay so this is your reminder that im a cop

thirdtimesthecharm: believe me, it won’t do much

lancelot: ha pls u cud be the best cop in the world and u still woudnt be able to arrest nyssa

nr: Thanks love

lancelot: :D

betterthanyou: ugghhh i was jst abt to say u guys r worse than these 2

betterthanyou: and then alex said ‘she is the best cop in the world’

agentdanvers: damnit lucy

rideordie: thanks babe!!!

puppydanvers: aww!!! you guys are all really cute!!!

nr: I’m not cute

newandimproved: Oh don’t call Nyssa cute, she’ll break your nose

puppydanvers: ?????

nr: Are you still complaining about that?

lancelot: wait what happened???????

newandimproved: It hurt Nys!!!

nr: Then you should have ducked

newandimproved: I wasn’t expecting it!!!

nr: That’s your problem, not mine

speedygonzales: damn nyssa

lancelot: jsyk im mentally hi fiving u rite now

lancelot: oh i love u so much

nr: I love you too

newandimproved: I’m so glad that you two can bond over mocking me

lancelot: r u rlly gonna stand there and try to tell me that at least 50% of ur friendship isnt based on mocking me

newandimproved: Well

newandimproved: It’s probably closer to 60%

nr: I’d say at least three quarters

lancelot: see???

betterthanyou: so ur rship w/ each sister revolves around mocking the other?

nr: I suppose so

speedygonzales: its the lance way

newandimproved: Huh

newandimproved: I’d never thought about, but a lot of my relationships involve mocking my sister?

lancelot: dude same????

lancelot: i guess it’s a sibling thing

speedygonzales: oh definitely

betterthanyou: ppl that wont mock my sis w/ me arent even allowed in my life tbh

irisbest: no??? it isn’t??? you just have messed up relationships with your siblings???

lancelot: iris anne west do you really want to continue this conversation

lancelot: do you really

puppydanvers: we don’t really do that, do we alex?

agentdanvers: not really

betterthanyou: only bc ur weirdly codependent

puppydanvers: no we just have a healthy relationship??

agentdanvers: some of us like to talk to our siblings more than once every two years??

betterthanyou: i kno thats probably a dig but actually im proud of that record so

agentdanvers: but sure, we’re the ones with the unhealthy relationship

nr: For some people, it’s healthier to be apart than together

lancelot: oh man sorry nys i forgot how much we hate ur sis

nr: You’ve only met her once, and she was only a child then

lancelot: yh but u hate her so

lancelot: solidarity

speedygonzales: also she kidnapped my brother

lancelot: yh that too

puppydanvers: wait what?? is oliver okay??

speedygonzales: hes getting there

speedygonzales: oh god sorry alex i didnt mean to bring this stuff up again

puppydanvers: no thea it’s not your fault

speedygonzales: still

puppydanvers: alex??

rideordie: alex???

betterthanyou: guys!!!!!

betterthanyou: alex fell asleep!!!!

puppydanvers: oh thank rao, finally

newandimproved: Is she okay?

puppydanvers: I don’t know

puppydanvers: alex is always the strong one and I don’t know what I’m meant to do in this situation

puppydanvers: what do I do? how do I help her?

newandimproved: Just be there for her

speedygonzales: make sure she always knos when 1 of u is behind her

speedygonzales: and i kno its hard but dont crowd her?? jst like let her kno ur always there if needed

lancelot: find whatever triggers her and try to decrease her exposure to it, but like not w/o her consent ok

lancelot: go through everything w/ her 1st

rideordie: that’s gonna be hard

puppydanvers: yeah

rideordie: we’ll do it though, obviously

puppydanvers: of course

lancelot: what do u mean?

lancelot: guys?

rideordie: he tried to drown her

puppydanvers: so I’m guessing water is going to be a trigger

speedygonzales: probably yeah

lancelot: is he alive

rideordie: yes, and he’s staying that way

rideordie: we don’t just kill people here, even ones who deserve it

newandimproved: We don’t really just kill people here either

lancelot: js, i could be in and out of the prison b4 anybody even noticed i was on ur earth

puppydanvers: thanks for the offer, but no

newandimproved: Kara, are you okay?

puppydanvers: ?????

puppydanvers: I wasn’t the one who was kidnapped????

newandimproved: No, but I know from experience how much of a toll seeing your sister hurt and not being able to do anything about it can take

lancelot: sorry

newandimproved: Don’t apologize dumbass it wasn’t your fault

lancelot: love u

newandimproved: Yeah yeah

newandimproved: Love you too

newandimproved: I’m just saying Kara, don’t hold it all in? And speak to Alex about this okay?

newandimproved: It won’t help either of you if you spend the whole time blaming yourself

puppydanvers: I know, but I should have found her sooner

rideordie: yh? well I shouldve too

rideordie: and j’onn and james and winn and everyone at the deo

puppydanvers: it’s not the same

thirdtimesthecharm: believe me, the only person to blame for any of this is the bastard that took her

thirdtimesthecharm: and the sooner you can believe that, the sooner you can heal

smoakandmirrors: oh god sorry dinah are you ok??

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s fine

thirdtimesthecharm: this seems to happen a lot in this line of work

thirdtimesthecharm: it’s probably really not good to say I’m getting used to it

newandimproved: Probably not, but I think we’re all getting to that same level of numbness

irisbest: same here

lancelot: healthy coping mechanisms??? never heard of them

lancelot: if u ever see me deal w/ something in a healthy way then its not me its an imposter

lancelot: and tbh u should probably shoot both of us jst 2 b sure

speedygonzales: SAME

smoakandmirrors: god, we’re such a happy healthy group of people

lancelot: its part of our charm

puppydanvers: lucy

betterthanyou: yh

puppydanvers: you’re being quiet

betterthanyou: am i

puppydanvers: lucy

betterthanyou: yh

puppydanvers: please don’t draw on alex’s face

betterthanyou: hmmm

puppydanvers: don’t do it lucy!!!

speedygonzales: do it

lancelot: do it do it do it do it

puppydanvers: guys no!!!!

betterthanyou: .........hmmmmm

puppydanvers: help me out here maggie!!!

rideordie: no do it i think itd be hilarious

betterthanyou: i knew i liked u sawyer

puppydanvers: guys

betterthanyou: ugh fine

betterthanyou: im not gonna draw on alexs face

speedygonzales: booooo

puppydanvers: thank you


agentdanvers changed their name to agentdamnvers


puppydanvers: damnit lucy!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

newandimproved: ughhh

lancelot: whats up??

newandimproved: The judges in this city are idiots

smoakandmirrors: you don’t mean all of them

newandimproved: Yes I do

agentdamnvers: did you just lose a case?

newandimproved: Oh I wish

betterthanyou: ?????

newandimproved: Hey so you know how the da turned out to be a serial killer

theboss: They did??

betterthanyou: yh?

newandimproved: Well they’ve just decided to overturn all of his convictions

betterthanyou: wait all of them???

newandimproved: Yep

betterthanyou: shit

newandimproved: Yep

thirdtimesthecharm: including the zombie guy

quicksort: including the what???

betterthanyou: ZOMBIE?????

agentdamnvers: what

irisbest: oh you have one of those too?

agentdamnvers: what

smoakandmirrors: yeah but ours isn’t a meta

smoakandmirrors: well actually no i guess he kind of is???

smoakandmirrors: he didn’t get his abilities from the particle accelerator though

lancelot: ur not talking abt like actual zombies tho r u????

lancelot: bc those r the worst

smoakandmirrors: ...kind of? he came back from the dead?

smoakandmirrors: he’s not like all shuffling and moaning though

smoakandmirrors: apart from the coming back from dead thing, he’s mostly normal??

thirdtimesthecharm: well apart from the fact that he can’t feel pain either, which is just awesome

irisbest: ours came back from the dead too, and he had super strength

irisbest: and he did shuffle and moan

irisbest: it was kind of terrifying

quicksort: when did that happen???

irisbest: when you were in a coma

quicksort: ah

speedygonzales: u were in a coma???

quicksort: only a little one

lancelot: oh no i was talking abt zombie zombies

lancelot: like ones that if they bite u, u turn into 1???

thirdtimesthecharm: they exist??

lancelot: i mean they did but now they dont???

lancelot: so ur welcome

betterthanyou: i cant believe ur universe has zombies

puppydanvers: winn’s going to be so jealous

agentdamnvers: once again, I’m so glad that I don’t live in your universe

lancelot: but this universe has me?????

agentdamnvers: I know you think that’s a good argument, but it’s really not

lancelot: damn danvers

betterthanyou: oh cmon lance

agentdamnvers: ?????

puppydanvers: uh oh


betterthanyou: whoops


agentdamnvers changed their name to agentdanvers


betterthanyou: boooo

lancelot: i thought shed already noticed!!! isnt she meant 2 b like a secret agent?????

agentdanvers: I'm literally right here

betterthanyou: change it back!!!!

agentdanvers: no

betterthanyou: but was i wrong tho????

puppydanvers: oh go on alex!!!

agentdanvers: ugh fine


agentdanvers changed their name to agentdamnvers


betterthanyou: oh sure u do it when kara asks u

agentdamnvers: yes, because I actually love kara

lancelot: DAMN DANVERS

betterthanyou: oh no im so hurt

agentdamnvers: yeah yeah

speedygonzales: hey guys in other news, its ollies bday in abt a week

puppydanvers: !!!!!

speedygonzales: hes gonna b 32, which is ridiculous

lancelot: NO HES NOT

newandimproved: Yes he is??

lancelot: HOW

smoakandmirrors: time tends to go in one direction for us guys


lancelot: oh boy so im prob older than 32??? what???

theboss: You don’t know how old you are??

lancelot: noooo

quicksort: wait, really???

lancelot: i mean gideon probably does tho

nr: Maybe you should ask her?

lancelot: lol no i dont think so im happy 2 live in ignorance tyvm

puppydanvers: are we invited to the party???

speedygonzales: oh yh sure

agentdamnvers: well, if we can make it

speedygonzales: oh thats ok

speedygonzales: i mean i think team flash were planning on stopping by?

irisbest: we’ll definitely try

speedygonzales: well yh nobodyll blame u if u cant make it

irisbest: barry’ll still probably speed over with gifts though, even if the rest of us can’t

speedygonzales: and like i guess nyssas probably free

nr: I’m not going

speedygonzales: yh i figured

speedygonzales: like r u actually free tho or do u jst not want to go

nr: No

speedygonzales: yh i shouldve seen that coming

speedygonzales: and really the legends should be there

lancelot: i mean yh we should

speedygonzales: sara

lancelot: thea

smoakandmirrors: come on sara, you guys have got to come and visit!

smoakandmirrors: i haven’t see ray in ages!

lancelot: wow smoak

smoakandmirrors: please

lancelot: ill think abt it

lancelot: were like super busy tho

speedygonzales: time travel

lancelot: i kno but like, super busy

theboss: I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have to leave

puppydanvers: what’s up???

theboss: Nothing’s wrong, I just have a very important meeting to get to

speedygonzales: oh no thats ok!!!!

puppydanvers: is it the secret project??

smoakandmirrors: secret project???

theboss: Don’t worry, it’s nothing nefarious

theboss: We just wanted to get it up and running before we release any information to the press about it

betterthanyou: have fun w/ whatever nerd thing ur doing!!!!

theboss: Thanks Lucy

puppydanvers: are you okay getting there?

puppydanvers: do you need a lift?

theboss: I’m fine thanks Kara

theboss: We’re still on for lunch tomorrow, right?

puppydanvers: you mean at noonan’s? ;P

theboss: You know perfectly well that it’s at the new vegan place

puppydanvers: oh no!!! you know how much I hate that kind of food!!

theboss: Only because you’re not used to it

puppydanvers: I don’t even need it!! I’m an alien!!

theboss: I’m going to get you to eat a proper meal one day

puppydanvers: no you won’t!!! :D

theboss: So I guess we’re at an impasse

puppydanvers: I bet I can wear you down, no one can resist my charm!!

theboss: I’ve spent enough time around you that I think I’m starting to build up a resistance

puppydanvers: challenge accepted!!

theboss: See you later :)


theboss has left the group


puppydanvers: I hope she has fun at her meeting

puppydanvers: guys??

puppydanvers: hello?????

speedygonzales: …so is any1 gonna say it

puppydanvers: say what?

irisbest: I mean really someone has to

puppydanvers: guys, say what???

lancelot: kara

puppydanvers: what????

lancelot: kara

puppydanvers: what???????

lancelot: kara that was the gayest thing ive seen all day and i literally had sex w/ a woman like 2 hrs ago

nr: You’re welcome

lancelot: thanks babe!!!

newandimproved: Sara Why

lancelot: whoops

lancelot: SORRY

newandimproved: No you’re not

lancelot: damn u kno me 2 well

newandimproved: Please tell me you didn’t just use the waverider for a booty call

lancelot: what!!! no!!!

lancelot: i would never i am a responsible captain

lancelot: i used the jumpship

nr: Please don’t refer to me as a ‘booty call’

newandimproved: Then please don’t talk about my little sister’s sex life in front of me!!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i don’t think rip would be happy to know what you’re using timetravel for

lancelot: ok so long story but thats actually hilarious

smoakandmirrors: ????

lancelot: sorry future knowledge!!! ill tell u later!!!

smoakandmirrors: how much later??

lancelot: ehhh

speedygonzales: ‘super busy’ huh

lancelot: ok but im never too busy for nys tho

nr: Nor am I for you

newandimproved: Yeah yeah we get it

lancelot: but apart from that i am actually rlly busy

lancelot: it ties into the whole future knowledge thing

smoakandmirrors: you can’t just use ‘future knowledge’ as an excuse to get out of things you don’t want to do

lancelot: can and will

lancelot: anyway what were we talking abt???

betterthanyou: about how gay kara and lena are for each other

lancelot: ooooh right yh continue

puppydanvers: no I’m good

agentdamnvers: I would also not like to talk about my sister’s dating life please

agentdamnvers: I’m not as comfortable with it as some people

newandimproved: What does that mean

newandimproved: Sara Lance what have you been doing

lancelot: what nothing

lancelot: i have never spoken abt ur love life once in my entire life

lancelot: danvers is just trying to change the subject

lancelot: and y did u jst assume she was talking abt me anyway???

newandimproved: Because I know you???

lancelot: ha yh tru

lancelot: anyway

lancelot: kara and lena: discuss

puppydanvers: there’s nothing to discuss!!!!

puppydanvers: we’re just friends!!!

irisbest: oh honey no

puppydanvers: we are!!!

puppydanvers: tell them alex!!!

agentdamnvers: well.....

puppydanvers: alex!!!!!!

agentdamnvers: you do smile at her a lot kara

puppydanvers: I smile at everyone!!

agentdamnvers: not like this you don’t

betterthanyou: plus lena super wants in ur pants so

agentdamnvers: lucy no

betterthanyou: lol super

betterthanyou: am i lying?????

speedygonzales: so this has been going on for a while huh

betterthanyou: SO LONG

agentdanvers: yep

rideordie: it’s kind of ridiculous really

puppydanvers: like you two weren’t pining over each other when you first met???

betterthanyou: THATS AN ADMISSION

puppydanvers: NO IT WASNT!!!

newandimproved: kind of felt like it was??

thirdtimesthecharm: oh definitely

rideordie: sorry kara, you’re outnumbered here

puppydanvers: why do I have to know so many people in law enforcement

betterthanyou: !!!!!!!!

puppydanvers: that’s still not an admission!!!

betterthanyou: uggghhh u guys wont get together 4 yrs at this point

lancelot: cant u do something???

puppydanvers: no????

betterthanyou: oh believe me, weve tried everything

puppydanvers: sorry what


betterthanyou: well obvs

rideordie: we have a groupchat dedicated to just that

lancelot: huh

lancelot: nice idea

newandimproved: ........Sara

lancelot: what i was just expressing my admiration?????

puppydanvers: so who’s in this group

rideordie: sorry little danvers, i’m sworn to secrecy

betterthanyou: me maggie winn cat and jess

rideordie: wow so i guess now we know which of us would give up under torture first

quicksort: why would you need to know that????

puppydanvers: CAT???????

lancelot: whos cat??

agentdamnvers: kara’s ex boss

betterthanyou: and her bi awakening

puppydanvers: I knew I was bi even before I met cat!!!!

betterthanyou: omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

puppydanvers: and I didn’t have a crush on her!!!!!

agentdamnvers: yeah you kinda did

betterthanyou: see??? even alex noticed

agentdamnvers: ??????

betterthanyou: no offense babe but i threw myself at u 4 a good solid few months and u didnt even notice so

puppydanvers: you did????

agentdamnvers: you did???????

betterthanyou: oh believe me i was not subtle

rideordie: oh yeah i can see that

agentdamnvers: what

rideordie: i thought you two were exes at first?

lancelot: same????

betterthanyou: fair

agentdamnvers: no not fair what the hell?????

betterthanyou: ugggghhhhh

betterthanyou: ok wait a sec


betterthanyou created the group whatever


betterthanyou added agentdamnvers to the group whatever


betterthanyou: ok better

betterthanyou: ok so its fine danvers im not like pining or anything

betterthanyou: u didnt return my feelings so i moved on

betterthanyou: i mean if i knew that u didnt kno u were gay then things mightve been different

betterthanyou: but i didnt so it doesnt matter

agentdamnvers: you knew I was gay??

betterthanyou: yes alex i do in fact have working eyes

betterthanyou: i didnt say anything when u came out bc i kno how important that was 4 u

betterthanyou: but rest assured i was laughing inside bc like how could u not kno????

betterthanyou: ur such a gay mess i swear

agentdamnvers: thanks lane

betterthanyou: ;)

agentdamnvers: so does this change anything between us? now that I know that you used to have feelings for me?

betterthanyou: pls i dont have feelings what am i a nerd

agentdamnvers: lucy

betterthanyou: i never said that

agentdamnvers: ????

betterthanyou: that i used to have feelings for u

agentdamnvers: you literally just said it

agentdamnvers: why can you never take things seriously

betterthanyou: no, i never said that i used to have feelings for u. u added the past tense

betterthanyou: and hey!!! i do take some things seriously!!!

agentdamnvers: still??

betterthanyou: well yh

betterthanyou: i mean yh ur a gay mess but like ur my gay mess

betterthanyou: well, not mine

betterthanyou: seriously alex, i get it, and im rlly not pining

betterthanyou: ur jst so happy w/ maggie so i never rlly saw the point of bringing it up

betterthanyou: tho i guess now u kno

betterthanyou: [tmyk.mp3]

agentdamnvers: did you just send me a clip of the more you know theme in the middle of a love confession

betterthanyou: did u rlly expect anything else from me

betterthanyou: and look danvers we dont even have to talk abt this rlly

betterthanyou: so yh anyway

agentdamnvers: don’t be stupid

agentdamnvers: we can talk like rational adults

betterthanyou: whats 1 of those again????

agentdamnvers: just come over idiot

betterthanyou: y agent danvers,,,,, i never

agentdamnvers: lucy

betterthanyou: yh yh ill b there in 10

betterthanyou: hey alex

agentdamnvers: yeah?

betterthanyou: so whatever happens, im still ur bff yh???

agentdamnvers: of course

betterthanyou: well 2nd bff, after that weird thing u have w/ kara

agentdamnvers: for the 20th time, it’s not weird to be friends with your sister

Chapter Text

smoakandmirrors created the group hey


smoakandmirrors added speedygonzales to the group hey


speedygonzales: oh hey felicity r u ok???

speedygonzales: u jst left ollies party in a hurry???

smoakandmirrors: hey so can i ask you something?

speedygonzales: ......ok?

smoakandmirrors: ok so you and sara have a pretty close relationship right

speedygonzales: ?????

speedygonzales: oh man i rlly hope ur not gonna ask me if im sleeping w/ her

smoakandmirrors: oh my god no!!!!

speedygonzales: bc u kno shes practically my sister

smoakandmirrors: i know!!! i’d never ask that!!!

smoakandmirrors: why is that the first place your mind goes to????????

speedygonzales: so whats up then?

smoakandmirrors: i was just wondering something

speedygonzales: felicity, w/e it is, jst get it over w/

smoakandmirrors: ok so do you think she follows the girl code???

speedygonzales: um srry what

smoakandmirrors: hypothetically speaking

speedygonzales: ???????

speedygonzales: u slept w/ her ex?????

smoakandmirrors: no!!!

smoakandmirrors: i mean ok technically yes????? i used to sleep with oliver

speedygonzales: gross

smoakandmirrors: but no that’s not what i mean

speedygonzales: WAIT WAIT WAIT


speedygonzales: DID U SLEEP W/ LAUREL??????

speedygonzales: GIVE ME ALL THE DEETS

speedygonzales: by which i mean none of the deets bc shes also practically my sister

smoakandmirrors: i didn’t sleep with laurel!!!!

speedygonzales: aw damn

smoakandmirrors: ????

speedygonzales: well i bet 50 bucks ud be 2gether by now

speedygonzales: well technically by yesterday but like u couldve jst lied to every1 else

smoakandmirrors: YOU BET ON US????

speedygonzales: yes???? obviously????

smoakandmirrors: WHO ELSE?????

speedygonzales: .....p much every1 whos ever met u nd laurel

smoakandmirrors: THEA

speedygonzales: dont blame me, saras the 1 who started it!!!

smoakandmirrors: oh my god

speedygonzales: and r u rlly surprised?????? rlly?????

speedygonzales: i mean ur the 1 that brought it up???

speedygonzales: so y did u even bring this up anyway

smoakandmirrors: doesn’t matter

speedygonzales: felicity

speedygonzales: we both kno im not gonna let this go

speedygonzales: or i cud ask laurel????

smoakandmirrors: you wouldn’t

speedygonzales: ????????

smoakandmirrors: ok yeah we both know you would

smoakandmirrors: ok fine

smoakandmirrors: so

speedygonzales: felicity megan smoak i swear to god!!!!

smoakandmirrors: i kissed laurel at the party

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: U KISSEDHER!!!!!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: WHAT HAPPENED WHAT WAS IT LIKE???????


smoakandmirrors: it was a disaster

speedygonzales: y what happened?????

speedygonzales: felicity???

smoakandmirrors: i ran

speedygonzales: no

smoakandmirrors: yes

speedygonzales: felicity

smoakandmirrors: i know

speedygonzales: what r u going 2 do????

smoakandmirrors: hopefully i’ll just die

speedygonzales: omg

speedygonzales: worse things have happened tho yh??

smoakandmirrors: but have they though

speedygonzales: yes!!!!

smoakandmirrors: but i ruined everything and now she hates me

speedygonzales: oh wow ok

speedygonzales: yh so theres literally no way on earth that laurel could hate u

speedygonzales: its kind of nauseating tbh

smoakandmirrors: thanks

speedygonzales: ur welcome

speedygonzales: look, ngl this isnt rlly my thing

smoakandmirrors: seriously???

smoakandmirrors: you were born for this kind of thing

speedygonzales: i mean yh tru w/ any1 else, but u 2????

speedygonzales: nah, we gotta call some1 else in 4 this


speedygonzales added lancelot to the group hey


lancelot: yo


smoakandmirrors has left the group


lancelot: wtf??????

speedygonzales: read up the chat


speedygonzales added smoakandmirrors to the group hey


speedygonzales: coward

smoakandmirrors: thea!!!!

lancelot: u kissed my sister and then ran????????

speedygonzales: have fun bye!!!!


speedygonzales has left the group


smoakandmirrors: thea!!!!!!!!

lancelot: explain urself

smoakandmirrors: but i don’t want you to beat me up

lancelot: dont b an idiot felicity id never do that

smoakandmirrors: only because you know laurel would do it herself

lancelot: damn straight

smoakandmirrors: i panicked ok!!!!

lancelot: what y?????

smoakandmirrors: because look at me!!! and then look at laurel!!!

lancelot: NOPE




lancelot: OF COURSE NOT!!!!!

lancelot: god fliss

lancelot: and excuse me i dont kno what ur saying bc i made out w/ u once remember????

lancelot: r u trying 2 say i have bad taste?????

smoakandmirrors: that’s actually pretty uplifting?

lancelot: hell yh it is, ur welcome

lancelot: ok so

lancelot: thea told u that i was betting on u 2 right

smoakandmirrors: ......yes???

lancelot: but did u also kno that ive been actively tryin 2 set u 2 up

lancelot: 4 like a while now actually

smoakandmirrors: no???? really??????

lancelot: yup

lancelot: wanna kno y???

lancelot: its bc laurel smiles around u

lancelot: like actually properly smiles

lancelot: in a way i havent seen in like forever

lancelot: she likes you

lancelot: and if u dont actually like her back, then u need 2 go shut down all of this negative shit and then go apologize 2 my sister

lancelot: and if u do like her back, then u need 2 go shut down all of this negative shit and then go apologize 2 my sister

lancelot: and then kiss her again, for real this time

smoakandmirrors: ok

smoakandmirrors: yeah ok i’m going to do it!!!

lancelot: which 1???????

smoakandmirrors: the 2nd one!!!

lancelot: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lancelot: ugh u couldnt have done this in like 2 weeks tho???

smoakandmirrors: i’m guessing that’s the date you bet on?

smoakandmirrors: wait, so if laurel actually wanted to date me, who would actually win the bet???

lancelot: shut up laur does want to date u idiot

smoakandmirrors: sara

lancelot: uggggh

lancelot: iris

lancelot: fliss???

lancelot: fliss u still there???

smoakandmirrors: you gave me this pep talk even though you knew it would mean iris beats you????

lancelot: i love u dumbass

lancelot: more than any stupid bet

lancelot: and like u kno that u gotta take ur chances when u get them right???

lancelot: look im w/ nys now and everythings awesome

lancelot: but i died ok and so did laurel and im not saying something like thats gonna happen again anytime soon

lancelot: and id never change the fact that the last person i spoke to that time round was laurel

lancelot: not for anyone

lancelot: but i do wish id rang nys up 1 last time to tell her i loved her

smoakandmirrors: oh

lancelot: so yeah

lancelot: anyway

lancelot: go!!! now!!!


smoakandmirrors has left the group


lancelot deleted the group hey


lancelot joined the group operationlaugh


lancelot added speedygonzales, allthatglitters and nr to the group operationlaugh


speedygonzales: no


lancelot changed the group name to operationSUCCESS!!!!


lancelot: YES

speedygonzales: !!!!!!!!!!!

speedygonzales: WE DID IT GANG

lancelot: i mean, it depends on what laur does, but lbr we all kno whats gonna happen


lancelot: speedy

speedygonzales: yh yh bottles of ginger beer

irisbest: WAIT WHAT?????

irisbest: REALLY????????


agentdamnvers: oh right, this

irisbest: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

birb: oh wow!!! that’s great!!

irisbest: though I can’t believe you actually did it????

speedygonzales: i mean sara had literally nothing to do w/ it

agentdamnvers: okay yeah that makes sense

lancelot: excuse u i gave an awesome pep talk????

allthatglitters: good for you

birb: oh hi, have we met???

allthatglitters: lisa snart

irisbest: caitlin’s girlfriend

allthatglitters: hopefully

birb: oh!!! it’s so nice to finally meet you!!               

allthatglitters: should i know you?

birb: I’m Kendra, I used to be on the same team as your brother?

allthatglitters: right, the bird lady

birb: well, yes

nr: It’s good to meet you. Sara’s told me many stories about you

lancelot: totally good 1s tho!!!

lancelot: this is nyssa btw!!! were back 2gether now!!!!

birb: oh hi!!!

birb: I’m so happy for you guys!!!

nr: Thank you

lancelot: thanks babe!!!

speedygonzales: so think yall can make it to a party round mine???

irisbest: probably not, sorry

puppydanvers: yes!!!

agentdamnvers: no

puppydanvers: no

birb: sorry, I’m not exactly nearby?

nr: I’m dealing with an urgent matter

speedygonzales: boooo!!!!

nr: People will die if I leave now, Thea

speedygonzales: excuses excuses

lancelot: i can make it tho!!!

speedygonzales: see!!!! a tru friend!!!!

nr: Aren’t you meant to be looking after the timeline?

lancelot: it mostly looks after itself tbh

birb: no it doesn’t

lancelot: ugghh fine

lancelot: sorry thea but ive got 2 do my stupid job

agentdamnvers: you’re literally looking after the whole of reality

lancelot: huh,,,, ur right,,,,, i am super important

agentdamnvers: not even close to what I said

speedygonzales: aw cmon guys rlly???

speedygonzales: no1???

allthatglitters: sorry little queen, but ive got stuff to do

speedygonzales: crime?

allthatglitters: of course

puppydanvers: oh

speedygonzales: ugghhh

lancelot: y dont u call the bby team round?

speedygonzales: oooh ok

speedygonzales: gotta remember to get curtis to swing round dinahs then and see if shes in

lancelot: she didnt go to the party???

speedygonzales: nope she skipped it

lancelot: lol get rekt ollie


speedygonzales: ohhh no

lancelot: oh i was hoping ud forget

nr: You bet on Laurel’s love life?

lancelot: obvs

birb: really guys??

irisbest: PAY UP LADIES!!!!

agentdamnvers: of course they did

puppydanvers: ....*we did

agentdamnvers: really kara? really?

allthatglitters: i guess its time for me to make an exit

allthatglitters: give the happy couple my best


allthatglitters has left the group


lancelot: hey so

lancelot: some1 close 2 me jst took a leap w/ their love life

lancelot: even tho they thought they might’ve messed up, theyre still trying

lancelot: and in all likelihood, everythings gonna turn out alright

lancelot: bc i guess its weird the things we can forgive when we love some1 huh


snowqueen has left the group