Holden hadn't thought he was bi-curious until the blond guy in the bar hit on him.
Even now, he's not sure why, instead of telling the guy to back the hell off, he'd let him lean in and lick his earlobe. He hadn't pulled the guy's hand off his thigh either, or laughed in his face when he'd said, in a sultry British accent, "My name's Spike. Wanna go out back with me, pretty boy?"
I mean, 'Spike'! What kind of a name is that?
But anyway, looking back now, post-vamping- and call yourself a Sunnydaler, Webs, you should have seen that coming a mile off! - he puts his lack of fear/manly outrage down to him being a Psych major. It's like part of him was standing off to the side with a clipboard and pen, all detached intellectual curiosity, thinking, Oh, this is interesting behaviour, and wondering if the rest of him was willing to go all the way in the name of (social) science.
Not that he'll ever know now. 'Spike,' as it turned out, wasn't so much gay, as hungry.
Or maybe gay and hungry.
Either way, he was a great kisser.
And here in the now, chewing the fat with a girl he was too scared of in school to even try to speak to, he can feel that same intellectual detachment coming on.
It's like the part of him that's connected to powerful all-consuming evil wants to kill her. I mean, really, really wants to kill her, and then do something gross, like bathe in her delicious, spurting blood.
But the detached part - the part that got him killed when he totally should have told that Spike guy where to get off -isn't ready to go there yet. Not until he's done exploring her issues. Which is going to take a while, because she has enough to keep a whole team of shrinks busy for years.
Not cool that she's so certain she can kill him, maybe. But he has his vamp super-strength now to back up his mad tae kwon do skills. Besides, she's so little.
Destined vampire slayer or not, he can take her.
She's fascinating, Buffy Summers. She really is. He could write his doctoral thesis on her.
In fact, if there's such a thing as vamp college - night school, or whatever? - maybe he'll transfer and do just that?