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Naming Terms

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"Hey, Coulson!"

"Sitwell. Good to see you again now that things have calmed down some."

"Definitely. And I'm really glad I could catch you before you and your ducklings shipped out again."

"That's the life in a mobile command unit. Always on the move."

"Come on, you and I both know that that particular plane is decked out more than just any old mobile command unit."

"Fair enough. So, by the way, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, so you think I might possibly be feeling slightly less than perfect after one of those ducklings tranquilized me in a restricted hallway?"

"I thought there might be a possibility. Sorry for the misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding."

"Yes."

"Wow. I see your talent for creative wording is only ever going to improve."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, sure. You know you owe me for this one, Phil."

"And here we go."

"Owe me big. This isn't one of those times where it's a trip to a diner and we're square."

"Fine. Where are the negotiations starting, then?"

"Negotiations? Phil, really, you think there are going to be negotiations? I am absolutely the wronged party here. I am naming my terms."

"Ah."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you got your guys out alive. And I'm pretty sure that Simmons being in that hallway had something to do with it-- Okay, now I'm extremely sure. You should know I can read your poker faces by now-- but still. Tranquilized in a hallway."

"Okay, fine. What are your terms, then?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen what?"

"Fifteen lunches."

"Just--"

"And not fifteen cheap lunches. Not fast food, definitely not the mess hall, and no, not even diners. We're talking fifteen separate lunches at least in nice neighborhood bistro. No venue that I don't approve."

"All right."

"And I order. For both of us. And I am getting whatever I want. And you are getting breadsticks."

"Breadsticks, huh?"

"Okay. Maybe mozzarella sticks or some breaded mushrooms. A quesadilla if I'm feeling particularly generous. But definitely nothing more than an appetizer."

"Time frame?"

"Next fifteen times we're in the same area. No getting out of it. Which, I should mention, means you're not allowed to get yourself killed again at least until your debt to society is paid off."

"I'll do my best to avoid it."

"You'd better. Or I will find a way to bring you back again and you don't even want to know what I'd be ordering after that."

"Noted."

"Glad that's settled."

"So am I."

"Actually, wait. Add one more. Make it sixteen lunches."

"Why are you adding one?"

"Just for the shit I'm going to take for a Level Five getting the drop on me."

"In that case, add one more."

"What? Why?"

"Because she got the drop on you using something Fitz has dubbed the Night-Night Pistol."

"... Know what?"

"What?"

"I hate my life."

"Hey, look on the bright side."

"The bright side."

"At least you're getting seventeen lunches out of the deal."

"Keep it up and it's going to be eighteen."

"Like I said. Good to see you again, Jasper."

"You too, Phil."