Actions

Work Header

Through a Mirror, Lightly

Work Text:

Jack Spicer, Evil Boy GeniusTM, had a keen set of senses. Not only your typical five senses, but also a highly sensitive Evil Boy GeniusTM fashion sense, a sense for when it was to his advantage to switch sides, an excellent sense for detecting Impending Doom, and also - most relevant to his current situation - a sharp sense of when something was Wrong.

(Wuya called those last three his Coward Senses, but she was just jealous that she didn't even have all five original senses. He'd told her that once, and she'd snapped that his senses were only so fine-tuned because of practice. But she wasn't here now.)

So when Jack thought something smelled fishy, he knew what he was talking about.

(...wait.)

Although... he sniffed the air consideringly, then wrinkled his nose. Okay, really, something smelled seriously, literally fishy. Like, week-old tuna salad-fishy. Man, that was rank.

Still, the point remained. Something was Rotten in the state of Jack.

(...where was here, anyway?)

And with that (all too familiar - see the aforementioned snark from Wuya, which was not entirely non-factual) disconcerting thought, Jack opened his eyes and shrieked. He sat up, nearly hitting himself in the face with the rotting fish Dojo had been holding over his nose.

"Hey, watch it!" Dojo said, cradling the fish in his arms. "You almost squashed Li'l Master Fung with your dumb goggles."

Jack sputtered. "I almost - you almost killed me with that reeking - hey!" But Dojo had turned away, calling out as he wriggled out the door.

"Hey guys, he's awake!"

Almost immediately, four familiar figures stood in the doorway - the Xiaolin Dragons. Jack scowled involuntarily at the sight of them. Although... there was something different about them.

"There's something different about you guys," Jack said thoughtfully. "I just don't know what."

Raimundo snorted. "We could say the same thing about you, Jack."

"Yeah, what's with the coat? And the make-up?" Leaning in, Dojo whispered, "Seriously, what's with the make-up? I tried everything I had and it wouldn't come off."

His hands moving to protectively cover his totally awesome face, Jack squawked, "How many times do I have to tell you guys, it's not - wait."

Somewhere in the recesses of his brain, while Jack had been listening to the Dragons (and dragon) insult him, a part of Jack had been comparing his mental image of them to their current appearance. And that part of him was just now revealing that had found a lot of discrepancies.

He pointed at Omi. "Your dot-thingies are sideways!" At Raimundo. "You're wearing your hood up!" At Clay. "That kerchief has a skull on it!" At Kimiko. "And that glare is at least five times as mean as normal!"

With all the evidence lined up in front of him, Jack could only come to one conclusion: "You guys are evil!"

The Dragons stared at him blankly.

"Uh, duh," Raimundo said, unimpressed.

"We've always been evil," Kimiko said. "You're the good guy."

Jack blinked. A couple times. "I am?" Something sounded very, very Wrong about that.

"Indeed," Omi said, arms akimbo. "You and your 'posse' continually attempt to foil our plans - "

"That sounds about right," Jack said, nodding slowly

" - to conquer the world!" Omi declared dramatically, ignoring Jack's comment.

Jack frowned, scratching his head. "Now that," he said, gesturing at Omi, "that is just Wrong. That's completely backwards." Jerking a thumb at his chest, he said, "I'm the bad guy, I'm the one trying to take over the world. Jack Spicer, Evil Boy GeniusTM, ringing any bells for you?"

The Dragons stared at him blankly.

"Nothing?" Jack asked weakly.

"Nada." Clay crossed his arms, looking at Jack thoughtfully. "But you mind telling us what that is?"

"What what is?" Clay pointing at Jack's hand. Hanging from one finger was - "Oh, that? That's just the Yin-Yang Yo-Y - oh, that's what happened!" Jack clapped a hand to the side of his head. Man, was he forgetful sometimes. "I used it to go into the Yin-Yang world to get rid of all my good chi, so I'd be Pure Evil, and I almost lost it when I ran into this really dweebie looking guy... with this really dorky outfit..." Realizing who this must have been, Jack collapsed in on himself. "Oh, come on, don't tell me that's your version of me!"

"Really dweebie-looking..."

"Wearing a really dorky outfit..."

"Yup, sounds like our Jack!"

"That is so unfair," Jack whined. Why couldn't other Jacks have his fashion sense, just once? Letting the yo-yo drop and spin, he said, "I must've switched yo-yos with him by accident, and come out in your world instead of mine."

The room went silent. Jack's Impending Doom sense started acting up, and he scratched at his neck, ignoring it. These guys were evil, what kinda Doom could they Impend?

"So," Raimundo said thoughtfully, "you're saying you can use that thing to travel between worlds?"

Jack shrugged. "I hope so. No offense to you guys, but I don't need this kinda competition, I've got enough of that back home." Getting ready to throw the yo-yo For Real, Jack shouted, "Yin-Yaeeep!" At once, the Dragons had moved: Omi grabbing the yo-yo, Raimundo getting Jack's hand, Clay wrapping both his arms around Jack's waist, and Kimiko getting one pointy-nailed hand around his neck.

"Here's how things are going to work," she said sweetly, inspecting the nails on her free hand while Dojo wound his way up her arm, grinning toothily at Jack as he approached. He... he had a lot of those. They looked sharp. "Our world is boring, so you're bringing us through to yours, so we can take it over."

Jack swallowed nervously. "W-why w-would I want to do that?" he tried to ask bravely.

Kimiko twisted her hand, and a ball of fire flickered into being, blue-white with heat. She grinned, as toothy as Dojo. "Guess."