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I Was Terrified

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They walked down the great hall, avoiding looking at the bodies on the floor. At least Alec avoided looking; he could Magnus out of the corner of his eye, staring in horror. He wanted to apologize for some reason; even though it wasn't his fault. Nothing but chance stood between Magnus and being one of those bodies. Alec glanced at him, his gaze just short of frantic. His heart was still beating a little too hard at the thought of losing Magnus.

He wanted to reach out and hold his hand.

He knew Magnus would let him.

He just didn't know how to do it.

They didn't really do public displays of affection; well...he'd seen the pictures, watched the videos. He knew Magnus had no particular objection to it. It was just...well. He knew how to hit a moving target at 200 miles with his bow and arrow. He could fight with a blade, a spear, even a gun if he had to. His fists too.

But reaching out and taking Magnus hand in his? 

No can do.

"Can you do anything for Isabelle?" he asked as they left the hall and turned into the corridor that led to their rooms.

Magnus sighed, "Alexander, I want you to know-"

"I know" Alec said quickly before Magnus could apologize. He'd only been projecting his own guilt on the other guy when he'd accused him of hiding Izzy's condition from him. He should have noticed. He would have noticed if he hadn't been so consumed with Magnus. But that wasn't Magnus' fault. It was the fault of his stupid hormones and being fucking dickmatized.

Speaking of which...

"So uh...I think you should stay here tonight. You probably need to reinforce the wards and what not. And...I'd feel better if you were close." he said looking at the wall opposite Magnus.

"Alexander...I can't" Magnus said sounding genuinely regretful, "There is an awful lot of work to be done and I might be needed at my place. Besides, I doubt Aldertree would authorize me staying the night."

"Fine then, I'll come with you." Alec said his hand reaching out without thought and encircling Magnus'.

The warlock smiled - the little half smile that he did when he was pleased about something -and Alec felt his whole body relax. He opened his mouth to say something to Magnus, he wasn't really sure what, when they were interrupted.

"Alec!" 

They both turned to see Jace standing at the end of the corridor, "I need to talk to you" he said.

Magnus and Alec exchanged a glance and then Magnus squeezed Alec's hand, "Go talk to your parabatai" he said, "I have to check on Izzy anyway."

Alec hesitated, eyes drawn irresistibly to Magnus mouth, "Okay" he said on a sigh, "I'll see you later."

"Yes you will" Magnus said, a promise shining in his eyes.