Brian hated watching movies at Bob's place. Yes, Bob had the movie room with the monster-screen TV. Yes, Bob had the 360-mounted speakers. Yes, Bob had the world's most comfortable couch and chairs and never skimped on snacks.
But for fuck's sake.
"Bob," Brian said.
He'd just gotten comfortable. He was in his favorite spot, hunkered deep in the corner of the couch with his feet up on the big ottoman. He had his bowl of popcorn, and three sodas sweated on the table beside the couch.
He'd been settled in for maybe five seconds. Maybe less.
Bob made a distracted noise as he aimed the remote over his head toward the DVD player at the back of the room, diligently skipping all of the previews to get to the movie's menu faster.
"Bob," Brian said again.
"What," Bob said. When Brian didn't answer, he glanced over. His double-take was funny right up to the point where he grinned with that stupid fond expression he always got in these situations.
"Aw," Bob said. He got to the menu and hit play and tossed the remote onto his own side table. Then he shifted sideways on the couch until he was a comfortable distance from Brian. Reaching out and ruffling Doby's ears, and then scritching Zelda's head, he cooed, "Did you guys find your favorite Brian already? Huh? You missed your Brian, didn't you."
"Right, since the last time I was here was yesterday."
At Brian's irritated grumble, Doby sat up on the couch and looked back at him, leaning against his arm and panting adoringly in his face. Brian tried to push him towards Bob, muttering, "Ugh, mutt, outta my face." Then he had to grab his bowl of popcorn off his lap as Zelda stretched out on his chest and stuck her feet in it.
"You know, watching movies at your house would be a lot more fun if your fucking animals --"
He broke off with a startled -- but manly, okay -- squeak. Zero had appeared out of fucking no where, levitated silently up onto the back of the couch and bump-rubbed against Brian's head.
"They love you," Bob said. The click-click-click of Dina's claws down the hall went silent when she got to the movie room. She jumped up onto the couch beside Bob, making it tremble with her Sheppard-bulk when he patted the cushion and called to her. "They think you are the shit."
On the screen, Simon Pegg was making the rest of the London police force look bad by catching lots of bad guys. Brian suspected it was a funny intro, but he'd never seen it as they only watched Hot Fuzz at Bob's house and Brian always spent the first several minutes of every movie at Bob's house being ambushed by Bob's zoo.
"I think they are shitheads." Brian gave up trying to dislodge Doby. He didn't dare try to remove Zelda; she'd claw the shit out of him. And Zero was now draped over Brian's shoulders.
Bob sniggered, somehow managing to sound heartless while still looking fond.
Bob would not help. Bob never helped. Sighing in defeat, Brian went limp under the beast pile.
"Could you at least turn the movie up?" he said. "I can't hear over the fucking purring."