“This doesn’t mean I’m not gay, you know. I mean, I’m probably like a 5.5 out of 6 on the Kinsey scale. This is, it’s just . . . us, you know? Like I said a long time ago, it was always kind of there. And I guess I was kind of surprised, because it’s a lot earlier than I thought and we’re definitely not in Istanbul and I don’t want this to be like Tara was just a phase or a place holder or something, because I really loved her, and what we had was–is really important to me.”
She pulled back slightly, propping herself up on her elbow and looking down at him earnestly. “But, I mean, I don’t want you to think you aren’t important to me, because you are. And this isn’t a phase either, it’s just you and mean is a different kind of real, y’know? And coming back to it now is going to make everything complicated. People are going to think . . . Well, I don’t know what they’ll think, but I’m willing to bet they won’t keep quiet about it and I probably won’t like a lot of it.
“And I need you to know that I’ve changed in the past three years. I’m not the same Willow I used to be. I’ve done stuff, and not just lesbian sex stuff but violent, horrible, killed-a-man-and-almost-ended-the-world stuff. I’m not proud of it, but it changed me. They probably aren’t all good changes, but they’re a part of me, and I wouldn’t get rid of them even if I could.
“Being with you reminds me of how I used to be; it even makes me miss being that person. But I need to know that if we’re together we’ll be moving forwards, both as individuals and as a relationship, not trying to relive the past.
“I know we probably can’t control that and there’s no way for you to promise anything, but I want us to at least try to be on the same page. I need you to be committed to getting to know the new me and not try to change me back to someone more familiar. And I need to commit to the same thing kinda literally, ‘cause I don’t want to change you, and I’ve had some issues recently with my subconscious using magic to make changes that really weren’t for the best. And I desperately want this to be good, because I can remember how it used to be. But then I worry that we can never live up to that. But then I can’t bring myself to not even try and you were suddenly here and it just felt right . . . and now I’m babbling, just like I used to . . .”
“I know exactly what you mean.” He pulled her gently back down and tucked her head under his chin.
“We’re gonna be okay, right, Oz? I mean, we’ll figure it all out somehow?”
“Yeah. We’re gonna be okay.”