I had thought Starfleet would be fun and exciting - way more fun and exciting than staying at home, getting laughed at for being a Loonie. I can't help where I come from! The accent, I guess I could technically probably do something about, but out in space so many people hear my voice through the Universal Translator's filter that it stopped being such a big deal.
But I'm getting off topic.
I had thought Starfleet would be fun and exciting - but I've been working on this ship for three months now and we only left the station once. And that was just to go through the dumb wormhole to look at a dumb new planet.
Sure, the wormhole is supposed to be really pretty to look at, but I didn't get to see it while we were going through it, and nobody who works on the ship day-to-day got to go down to the planet, it was just command staff people from Deep Space Nine. Well, whoop-de-doo, they got to visit a planet that doesn't exist in real space every couple decades, big deal! What I want to know is -
"Betsy, I am trying to care, I really am, but you're just boring me to tears."
Oh. Sorry, Dr. L.
"It's okay, I know you're trying really hard to sound interesting, but you're just... not."
"I mean, you're a yeoman. You're my yeoman. A medical officer's yeoman. That's, like, the lowest low down low position on the totem pole of the Defiant. Did you really think they were gonna take you on an away mission if they weren't even taking me?"
I guess not. But I still would've liked to go.
"Yeah, well, not me. Staying on the ship, where there's real replicated food, real beds, real intranet, that's where it's at."
But couldn't you get all that stuff back on Earth?
"Not true. The... the beds are bigger back on Earth. And sometimes there's non-replicated food that doesn't taste like garbage."
"And there's a full access internet, and holosuites that aren't totally gross and skeevy like the ones at that gross skeevy Ferengi bar, and - "
Then why are you out here, and not on Earth?
"Because Casey is out here, Betsy."
"Yeah, Casey! ...ugh, fine, Vedek Kesa, you knew who I meant."
...isn't Kesa his last name?
"Yeah, well, I didn't know that at the time, I just knew he was a super cute Bajoran guy I met on a shuttle going to New York - and Paris after that, which I guess is where he was actually going, but I was going to New York - and that a super cute guy deserved a super cute nickname, so: Casey! Anyway, we're dating now, so I can't just go back to Earth because I like the entertainment, mattresses, food, and... general standard of living... better there."
And I thought you liked Dr. Bashir!
"Ugh, who doesn't like Dr. Bashir? He's hot, he's smart, he's got that great accent, and bonus! he's brown, which would be a huge improvement to my parents, after all the white guys and aliens I've been dating, even though he's not the same kind of brown as us."
He sounds great! So, what's the problem?
"The problem, Betsy, is that you once said - as a joke, I hope - that he could be the time traveling future kid of me and Jeremy."
W-well, Dr. Reed does look and sound a little like Dr. Bashir, except for...
"The skin tone, yes, which is what I provide in this scenario, I get it. But it has made me unable to view Dr. Bashir in a sexual light, because every time I try our sexy post-date medical conversation-slash-innuendo turns into him telling me about how he got caught in a tragically located temporal anomaly when he was five and was thrown back in time twenty years and then I just want to hug him and promise everything will be okay and tell him that I still love him even though he's older than me now and that does not make for a sexy fantasy, Betsy."
No no it doesn't, I'm really sorry for making you think about that, Dr. L.
"Well... good! You should be."