Ray licks his lips slowly, savoring the taste of Fraser on his mouth, knowing it will never happen again. He knows what he has to do. He has to push away the one person who means everything to him. He has to.
If he wants to help Fraser notmake the biggest mistake of his life, settling for this city of Chicago instead of the wild places of Canada where he really belongs, he had to do this.
So he does. When he feels the whisper of Fraser's lips on his, he lies. He lies with his mouth, with his body, with the look in his eyes and the planes of his face. And he does it well, because that is what he does.
He's so good at it. He knows that when Fraser ends the kiss and looks at him, desolation clear in those blue eyes. He can see it in the slumped set of the broad shoulders. He has to clench his fists, hard, to keep from reaching out, because he wants this. So much.
Ray is very good at wanting things he can't have.
"I suck," he whispers, the words echoing hollowly through his empty apartment. It feels so huge without Fraser's solid presence to fill it up with light and life.