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Consanguineous Ministrations by Briarwitched
Fandoms: DCU, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
22 Dec 2021
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Summary
“Who gave you a baby?” Dick demanded, the instant Bruce opened the front door, eyes drawn immediately to the sobbing infant on Bruce’s hip that he gently bounced to no avail. At the same time, Bruce muttered, “I told you, it’s fine, you didn’t have to come.”
Dick rolled his eyes and pushed past him. Noted the scattered blankets, baby clothing, and dirty dishes gracing nearly every surface of the lake house with a glance. “I figured that out when you hung up on me. My question still stands: who in their right mind gave you an infant?”
Bruce opened his mouth and then shut it. Took a deep breath which he blew out slowly. The plain white dress shirt he favored on the weekends was streaked with what looked like pea puree, sweet potato, and snot. “A desperate alien ship with no other options.”
“Yeah, that scans.”
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Alternatively titled, "Let's give Batfleck alien baby problems".
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,976
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
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- 90
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Bookmarked by zainy_abdi
17 Mar 2024
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There’s a long, drawn-out pause. Wayne steps forward, dipping his head down to Peterson’s level.
“Did you touch my ward, Brandon?” he asks, painfully quiet.
Series
- Part 7 of DC outsider POV
Bookmarked by zainy_abdi
17 Feb 2024
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"Who's DG?" he asks.
Bookmarked by zainy_abdi
16 Feb 2024
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“I’m Tim,” he says, though introducing himself to a puppy makes him flush in embarrassment. “Are you hungry?”
The dog blinks at him, all scared eyes.
“Where’s your family?” Tim asks. “Did they leave you?”
(Or: Tim Drake finds a friend.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,752
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- 4/4
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Bookmarked by zainy_abdi
25 Jan 2024
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A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:
The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
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(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-(01:25) Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-
(01:25) Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.
(01:25) Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-
(01:25) Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.
(01:25) Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.
Series
- Part 1 of IRIS Logs
Bookmarked by zainy_abdi
16 Jan 2024