wearing_tearing



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  1. Rec 53

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    I’m sorry, Steve. I’m sorry that I’m not him.

    Bucky still sees more of the Winter Soldier in the mirror than Steve could ever dream of finding in the whole of him. Bucky still views his actions, his thoughts, his worth through the lens of repentance. Bucky still sees himself as damaged goods, as less-than, as undeserving of Steve’s love because he’s not the man it’s meant for.

    And Steve can’t fathom it. Can’t see how Bucky misses not just that Steve loves all of him, all that he’s been and all that he is and all that he’ll ever be, but more than that: what Steve doesn't understand is how Bucky misses just how much he isn’t the Winter Soldier, anymore. How much—regardless of Steve, outside of deserving and getting and feeling and want: how much he is the Bucky that he’s always been.

    And that’s not ever a thing to apologize for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    53

    17 Apr 2015

  2. Rec 91

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    “Huh.” Clint runs a hand through his hair again, stumped – but amused – by this development. “Deaf and blind. This is like something out of a sitcom.”

    The dumpster bros meet for the first time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    482
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    2390

    15 Apr 2015

  3. Rec 86

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    Looking in the mirror that night, TJ tilts his head this way and that, trying to see the angles of his face better, the cleft in his chin, the blue eyes under dark eyebrows. He glances down at the history book open on the counter, a black and white photo of a guy in an Army uniform smiling up at him with the same eyes, the same chin. James Buchanan Barnes, it reads. TJ looks back up at the mirror. Thomas James Hammond looks back at him.

    “Nice to meet you, Uncle Bucky,” TJ says, and his reflection smiles back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,712
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    417
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    2183

    14 Apr 2015

  4. Rec *

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    “You have never once been careful in your entire life.” Bucky huffs out a laugh. He looks away. “Maybe I’m offended you didn’t think to ask me.” He says it like a joke, but he can’t bring himself to laugh again.

    “Bucky,” Steve says, scandalized. “You’re my friend. I’m not gonna use you to experiment sexually.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,592
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    899
    Kudos:
    1782
    Bookmarks:
    349
    Hits:
    24477

    13 Apr 2015

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  5. Rec 59

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    Summary

    But sometimes, when his bed feels too big and too empty, Steve wishes for someone. (If that someone happens to be named Bucky Barnes, well, at least he's consistent.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,405
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    2513

    13 Apr 2015

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