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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This time yesterday, Jamie was picking Tyler up from the airport. It's been six hours since Nill called her and said, "Hey, looks like you're in town, can you come in today?" and five since Jordie texted help I have a wardrobe emergency. Half the notifications on Tyler's phone are Snapchats from Brownie, presumably 50/50 dogs and blurry dick pics. This is Tyler's life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,574
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    822
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "This is literally the dumbest shit anyone has ever said on Twitter," Tyler says to Jamie's voicemail.

    Tyler has said a lot of shit on Twitter. Apparently, it's not cool to say "no homo" even if you've punched enough girls' v-cards to get free tacos at Qdoba. Whatever. The point here is that Jamie Benn is not allowed to chirp her about naked Zamboni rides and shoot his mouth about Demers's extracurriculars with the same iPhone keyboard.

    "I'm serious," Tyler continues. "I hope Jordie and Jenny both punch you in the dick."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,950
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2544
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Saito was a Muggle with very big pockets. He knew enough to understand that there was something a little dodgy about Arthur's science—"I went to a magnet school as a child," Arthur had said, to which Eames had replied, "Yes, love, we've read your C.V."—and that he ought not inquire too deeply into the runes carved into Cobb's briefcase.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,515
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1127
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Sid already has a stand mixer, a $400 blender, and one of the nice waffle makers you can flip with the handle, the kind they have at waffle bars in hotels. Geno has two magnetic racks of chef knives. Do they really need a wedding registry? Do they really need a registry at Williams-Sonoma?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,018
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    264
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2305
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Tyler eats a whole brownie with her hand cupped beneath her chin, trying not to get crumbs in her boobs.

    "Slow your roll, girl," Jordie says through a mouthful of chocolate. "These are kind of strong."

    "All I have is ground beef and ketchup chips," Tyler says thoughtfully.

    So they order three pizzas while the Pizza Hut app still makes sense. Sounds good.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,802
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    249
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2429
  6. Tags
    Summary

    For thirty-four weeks, five days, ten hours, and sixteen minutes, your time and your body were your own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,888
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1117
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Everything about baking is exceedingly messy. “Could have gone with a box,” Bucky says when Sam drops an egg on the floor. "Or a bakery."

    “Boxes are for quitters,” Nat says. She is wearing black and a light dusting of flour that goes from her feet to the tip of her nose. It is adorable, and because Sam has a healthy respect for his life, he resolves never to tell her so.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    939
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    405
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2040
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Hilary is okay with having a rep if it means NHL stars bring her Cheetos.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,485
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1012
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Allison reaches into her bag and pulls out a paperback copy of Sacrificial. The spine is cracked, some pages dog-eared. "This is my mom's, by the way. She's a big fan. Probably wouldn't be if she knew what you are, but I think we can keep that between us, don't you?"

    Up close, Derek can see the flowers on Allison's arms better—datura, monkshood, oleander. "She's alive?"

    "Well, everybody is, aren't they?" Allison says.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    929
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Geno loves kids, but not the way Sid loves kids. Sid has a younger sister; Geno lived with Seryozha and Ksenia and Natalie for two years. Which is to say, he survived potty training and checkers and temper tantrums, as well as several toddler ballet recitals. Every time they work with the Little Penguins, it's like Sid is fresh off a thorough Obliviation. Geno, meanwhile, is prepared for war.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,832
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    228
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2113
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "Hey, so," Tyler says when the marks on his ass have faded to a gross yellow-green. "Next time, you wanna make out first?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    421
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    4269
  12. Tags
    Summary

    This is how Sidney Crosby ends up in Alex Ovechkin's living room, one wolf cub in his lap and another gnawing on his Reeboks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,741
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    490
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    3763
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 1912...

    Miss Allison Argent and her daemon Pascal have just returned to San Francisco from Europe. They're supposed to be restoring the Argent name, but the skeletons in the family closet won't stay hidden beneath the rubble of the Great Fire...

    Mr. Derek Hale and his daemon Priska are caught up in the struggle for power in the city's supernatural underworld. If they want to avoid a confrontation with the city's hunters, they'll have to be careful indeed...

    ...will the flame of their love set San Francisco on fire again?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,338
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    721
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Merlin's opened for business on Friday and Saturday nights the second week of October. Well, "business." Susan and I got paid in Chocolate Frogs and not having to clean up, which seemed like an unfair labor policy until the first time I saw Draco Malfoy with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and suds on his nose.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,034
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1006
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The Young Avengers' band is also called The Young Avengers, because they're very subtle. They've written three songs together: "Destroy You," "Superpowered," and "Unnatural Love," which, given the percentage of people in the band with the same equipment fucking each other, you might think was about gay liberation, but actually chronicles the time Loki read them the juicy parts of Flowers in the Attic on a trip up the coast.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,058
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1184
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Allison's pretty sure that the summer of 1991 is going to be the best one of her life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,073
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1446
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Clint stalled with his hand on her bra clasp and his mouth on her throat. "I'm pretty sure you were in elementary school when I went to prom."

    "Please," Natasha said, "I never went to elementary school, and you didn't go to prom."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    732
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2688
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Derek stops time when he orgasms.

    So does Stiles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,093
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    529
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    4525
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "I just want to say nice things to him," Stiles says, thunking his coffee mug on the table for emphasis. "Is that so hard to believe?"

    Lydia doesn't look up from the astrophysics journal she's paging through. "Yes."

    Dual text + podfic entry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,974
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3421
  20. Tags
    Summary

    ""Sometimes I like to think about the good old days," Steve says to Sam as they listen to the thudding of the dartboard in the next room. "Back when I got to wear my own sweaters."

    "Back when they used to play music videos on MTV," Sam says wistfully as he puts another slice of pepperoni on his plate."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    816

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