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There’s No Escape for the Potato Man by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for adara
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
15 Jun 2019
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Summary
“Who is this? Where’s Erica?”
“Wrong number, asshole!”
“Stop calling me an asshole,” the man on the other end snapped aggressively.
Stiles could understand. He’d be pretty aggressive too if he’d murdered someone and texted a wrong number to ask for help burying the body. This guy obviously failed How To Be a Serial Killer 101.
“What kind of idiot thinks I murdered someone?”
“The kind of idiot who got your text messages, you fucking dumbass!” he retorted hotly. “Maybe double check your contacts before sending a random stranger details on your nefarious plans to dispose of a freshly cut up body!”
“What?!” the guy on the other end demanded, crossed between horrendously confused and livid.
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Bookmarked by thisisatest
07 Feb 2023
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“What is that?”
Stiles sticks his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “What’s what?”
Derek gives him an unimpressed look and jerks his chin slightly to the left. “That.”
“Uh.” Stiles glances over his shoulder. “Pretty sure that’s a pony, dude.” A very small brown pony, with one white fetlock and a long, kinky black mane and deep, fathomless eyes, and he’s been following Stiles around since yesterday, so he’s actually pretty glad Derek can see him, too.
Or -
Stiles accidentally acquires miniature farm animals that may or may not be demons.
Bookmarked by thisisatest
20 Jan 2022
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Oblivious Misadventures, and Other Such Tales by Little Spoon (JaydenNara)
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
28 May 2018
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Going to college was exciting and new, a chance for new friends and a fresh start, and the best part was, there was a supernatural fraternity on campus, meaning Scott finally had the freedom to be himself.
Then he met the resident human who came with a stalker alpha. What was the point of a supernatural fraternity if he still had to pretend to be human. And seriously, did Stiles ever fall asleep somewhere normal?
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(aka - Five TImes Scott Found Derek and Stiles Sleeping, and the One Time He Didn't)
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- English
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- 11,240
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- 6/6
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Bookmarked by thisisatest
22 Aug 2021
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Inside the station, a honey-eyed waif with a shorn head and a long pale throat is clicking away at a pen and swinging his chair back and forth behind the receptionist desk. Derek plasters on his most charming grin and leans up against it, bracing a hand in front of the guy and sliding his sunglasses down to give him a once-over.
The guy blinks up at him and flushes. His mouth falls open a little and Derek clears his throat around the way he kind of wants to press his thumb to it.
“Hey,” Derek says, still grinning. “I’m here for my sister?”
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Bookmarked by thisisatest
23 Jul 2021
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By Any Other Name (I Will Always Feel the Same) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) for pandane
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
25 Sep 2020
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Summary
Stiles very slowly reached up with both hands and covered his neck as best he could before whispering, “Are you Vampires?”
“What? No.” Derek couldn’t help the small laugh of disbelief that slid up his throat, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. It didn’t matter that he was thousands of years old, or that he was bigger and stronger than Stiles was. Somehow, he was pretty sure once this conversation was over, Stiles was going to be able to crush him like a bug, and he hated that feeling.
“Didn’t you say he was smart?” Boyd asked.
“Hey,” Stiles insisted, turning to him with a glare but not removing his hands from his neck. “Vampires is a perfectly logical guess in this case. And he said I was right on the Supernatural front. Vampires are Supernatural.”
“He said you weren’t wrong,” Boyd corrected. “Not that you were right.”
“Well, the opposite of wrong is right, so...” Stiles gave him a look, but turned back to Derek relatively quickly, as if realizing he was delaying his own answers.
“We’re not Vampires,” Derek said, then let out a small sigh before admitting, “we’re immortal.”
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Or: The Old Guard AU nobody asked for (except me).
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- English
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- 109,395
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- 8/8
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Bookmarked by thisisatest
22 Feb 2021