theswisswereright



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Honestly you don't give two shits what the kid looks like. Your audience will go for it even if you get someone who got beaten half to death with the troll ugly stick.

    The picture loads.

    You're going to make so much alien fetish money you're going to have to hire somebody to build a swimming pool on the roof, just so you can fill it with sleazy intergalactic flesh trade dollars and roll around in it like an asshole.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,985
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    950
    Bookmarks:
    147
    Hits:
    10250

    22 Apr 2017

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Your name is Dave Strider and you are 26 years old.

    You have just gotten engaged.

    The problem being that you have just gotten engaged to your best male friend in a furious fit of stupidity, champagne, one-upmanship and a weird warm-glowy feeling that occasionally (or more than occasionally) rolls around in the pit of your stomach and makes you act like a moron. You have, over the past 13 years and much careful experimentation, dubbed this “The Egbert Effect”.

    You would like to state, for the record, that you are definitely, completely and 100% NOT A HOMOSEXUAL.

    As Bro carefully describes to you what, as the DJ, he’s going to play at the reception (almost entirely a medley of Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha), you carefully nurse a Rock Star and vodka like a 16 year old girl who just popped her cherry at prom and try to figure out what the fuck happened over the past decade or so to land you in this mess.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,389
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Comments:
    411
    Kudos:
    3181
    Bookmarks:
    785
    Hits:
    108087

    20 Apr 2017

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Desperate times call for desperate measures, and nobody is more desperate than a troll facing the Imperial Drone at collection time. Unfortunately, anonymous sex isn't so anonymous when you run into someone you know.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,364
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    942
    Bookmarks:
    172
    Hits:
    13319

    14 Apr 2017

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER?
    CA: oh my god really
    CG: YEAH. I MEAN, IF THAT WOULDN’T BE WEIRD.
    CA: fuckin hell i shoulda got gillpox prevvious if that wwas all itd take for you to accept my standin invvitation to come and hang

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    1007
    Bookmarks:
    248
    Hits:
    14790

    14 Apr 2017

  5. Public Bookmark 7

    Words:
    20,587
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    7

    27 Mar 2017

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