thelobstermobster



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  1. Public Bookmark 30

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    “So Neil seems interesting,” Renee ventured.

    Andrew snorted. “His entire life is garbage. I can’t believe I’m gonna sleep with him.”

    “Well,” said Renee diplomatically, “you don’t have to-”

    “No,” said Andrew, cutting her off. “I’m gonna.”

     
    AKA the one where I fit in as many Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes into <3K that I can.

    Language:
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    2,715
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    20 Jan 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

    1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

    2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

    3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

     

    Or, the one where pledge brothers Stiles and Scott start a prank war with Derek Hale's fraternity.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,004
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    682
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    12504
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    4291
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    18 Jan 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The first thing Stiles thinks when he opens the door is that it’s not his birthday, but someone has sent him some kind of cop stripper.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    460
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    18289
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    5624
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    15 Jan 2018

  4. Public Bookmark 78

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    Ben Solo's unseen mentor promises a peek at his destiny.

    Armitage Hux is not prepared to see a stranger walk through the wall of his room and ask him what year this is, but he's willing to give even a hallucination the time of day. He's never had a friend before.

    Language:
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    Words:
    16,008
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    103
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    582
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    78
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    13 Jan 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    When Hux sees the positive result on the pregnancy test scanner, he comes to several alarming realizations all at once. One: that his birth control has been tampered with. Two: that the baby is Kylo's. Three: that this is his true punishment for Starkiller's failure.

    And quietly, in a weak, tiny voice in the back of his mind, the unsettling conclusion that he wants to keep it. He'll die before he lets anyone near his child. He'll tear apart anyone that tries to get in his way.

    Even Kylo.

    Language:
    English
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    23,853
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
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    455
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    08 Jan 2018