1 - 20 of 183 Works by skoosiepants

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Mike has the heart of a predator. He has claws, and teeth like a shark, and slick, sticky toxic skin that fades from white to the color of swamp water at his wrists.

    Wallace says, “Wow,” when Mike swims ten fins beyond the shoreline. “Wow, I kind of thought you were a mass hallucination.” Wallace’s mid-legs are covered in water, rolling waves lapping at the knobby parts.

    Mike says, “Are you going to swim out to me?” and Wallace laughs and says, “Fuck no.”

    “No?”

    Wallace grins at him and says, “Are you going to drown me again?”

    Or-

    Mike sacrifices everything he knows for the man he loves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,474
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    429
  2. Tags
    Summary

    They stare at each other, half-grinning, and Derek knows it’s definitely the absolute wrong time for this, but he wants. He wants to grin at Stiles over dinner every day for the rest of his life, baffled over yams and Moon Pie Day, and, god, crap, goddamn, when the fuck did he have time to fall in love?

    Or

    The life and times of Deputy Stiles and Supernatural Foster Dad Derek Hale

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,127
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    1523
    Bookmarks:
    315
    Hits:
    8143
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles groans and drops his face into his hands. “I’m seventeen, I can kind of use mountain ash and I can explode houses when I’m mad enough. How am I gonna win any kind of magic fight?”

    “We’ll work on it,” Deaton says, as infuriatingly calm as ever. “The important thing to remember, Stiles, is that when everything else is chaos, you’re the port in the storm.”

    Or-

    Laura Hale never died, and Stiles is magic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,134
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    1817
    Bookmarks:
    490
    Hits:
    14276
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It’s only later, when Stiles is lying in bed and staring at his ceiling, that he thinks: of course. Of course Derek Hale is pure of heart.

    or-

    A unicorn thinks Derek deserves nice things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,501
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    1439
    Bookmarks:
    208
    Hits:
    7297
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles says, “I have a five year plan. A five year plan to popularity that will tank the minute I meet this guy.”

    “I feel like you’re exaggerating,” Scott says, but Scott has a katana-wielding badass waiting for him at the other end of the rainbow, and Stiles has terrariums.

    Or—

    A soulmate au with turtles and angst.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,942
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    129
    Kudos:
    2645
    Bookmarks:
    472
    Hits:
    14086
  6. Tags
    Summary

    There are speeches, and Mike stares dumbly up at Wallace, fingers clenched around his glass stem, because Wallace is beautiful. Wallace has aged like a champ. Wallace has premature flecks of gray at his temples and his eyes crinkle up when he smiles. He’s wearing a waistcoat and a watch fob and he should’ve looked like a complete tool, but Mike just wants to dig his fingers up under it and press his mouth along his jaw. He’s so screwed.

    Or –

    Serge Wallace gets married, and Rook Wallace is the goddamn love of Mike’s life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    164
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1334
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Officially, Scott and Stiles started off as supernatural debunkers. Shithead eighteen year olds with a couple gopros, a book of magic lore they’d ‘borrowed’ from Scott’s veterinarian ex-boss, and a YouTube channel. They guilted Scott’s dad into buying them a used van, downloaded a map of haunted places, and set off across the country for a gap year that stretched well past what their parents think is acceptable.

    And then Scott got bit by a werewolf off highway 95, they accidentally set Kira free from an Arizona desert prison, and Lydia Martin, Stiles’ high intensity high school crush, called him up out of nowhere at 3 am one random Tuesday and nearly blew out his eardrums with a banshee scream and a death omen.

    or-

    The gang drives a van around the country hunting monsters, and Stiles may or may not have a weird crush on a traumatized Derek Hale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,774
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    1117
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    7027
  8. Tags
    Summary

    At eleven years old, a murder of crows blanketed the yard outside Stiles’ window and no school owls came.

    or -

    Stiles is determined to live without magic, but magic always finds him, anyhow.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,379
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    1573
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    9275
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Why are you not more curious about me?” Stiles says when Derek’s got the door half open, sun spilling over the dark wood, dust motes spinning about his legs. Stiles is wearing fabric that hasn’t been invented yet, he’s clutching a smart phone to his chest, and he appeared out of nowhere, like an angel.

    Softly, Derek says, “We all have our secrets,” and closes the door.

    Or-

    A heartbroken Stiles accidentally travels back in time to find his one true love. A harlequin-ish Christmas romance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,238
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    2233
    Bookmarks:
    475
    Hits:
    22552
  10. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: Stiles is videographing someone's wedding but after when he looks at the footage it's like 50% hot best man Derek

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    310
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    439
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    4133
  11. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: everything that was supposed to go right that week, was going wrong

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    399
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2855
  12. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: “Cat got your tongue?” “Why, did you want it?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    322
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    3239
  13. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: “you’re absolutely right, we really don’t deserve dogs, but we’re so lucky to have them”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    281
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    287
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    2561
  14. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: Derek wins Stiles in a game of cards.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    304
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    4122
  15. Tags
    Summary

    for prompt: trapped at the airport on the way home or fighting over the last turkey at the store.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    294
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2575
  16. Tags
    Summary

    There’s a solid wooden fence surrounding the backyard; a moderately-sized, flat piece of square land. Instead of grass, a flagstone path winds in between wild, tangled gardens, knock-out roses, towering crape myrtles, foxglove, bluebeard, hydrangea, overgrown ornamental grasses—weeds and wildflowers fill in all the spaces in between, and Stiles doesn’t plan on doing a single thing about any of them. The yard is fantastic. It’s wonderful. He can’t wait to strip out of his skin and make a burrow.

    Or-

    Stiles is a werebunny & Derek is his grumpy werewolf neighbor

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,215
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    2780
    Bookmarks:
    721
    Hits:
    18698
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Hale’s eyes are an indescribable green, Stiles is caught off guard by how much he kind of wants to, uh, hug him? It would be weird to bury his hands in a stranger’s hair, right, and mouth-breathe into his temple?

    Hale’s lips fall from friendly smile to near-scowl the longer Stiles silently stares at him like an idiot—would it be weird to just kiss him?—and Stiles has to talk himself out of following pathetically after him when Hale stalks away.

    Or-

    The Sandlot AU, which is mostly not actually a Sandlot AU, starring wolf-Derek as the beast

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    994
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    5421
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m just going to pretend this isn’t happening. I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them again, I’ll be back on Atlantis, sleeping in my tiny bunk, eating reconstituted potatoes and putting googly eyes on rocks to freak out Jared.”

    Or—

    How Captain Derek Hale and Dr. Stiles Stilinski keep managing to save each other’s lives…in space!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,109
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    1308
    Bookmarks:
    254
    Hits:
    9647
  19. Tags
    Summary

    This is totally unfair. This crush has been terrible but manageable; he hardly ever saw Derek outside of the occasional diner run-in and all the summer BBQs, and Derek always looks like being in any public setting is excruciating—his broody scowls are devastating enough, now he gets to imagine him happy.

    Is it possible to die from unrequited love and pining?

    Or-

    Derek the fireman keeps saving Stiles from himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    1567
    Bookmarks:
    206
    Hits:
    11822
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “I kind of got Tim arrested.”

    -Or

    That time I wrote Sanders, Kaine, Clinton and Obama into an indie band on tour.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    925
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1044

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