1 - 20 of 82 Works by lazulisong

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A blond and a brunette walk into a bar. It's not the first time it's happened, and it definitely won't be the last.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,425
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    1379
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Steve held up a hand. "Where were you during this?" he said, like he was a little afraid of the answer.

    "Crawling my god damn way across a floor that hadn't seen a mop since before the smoking ban, trying not to knock over walkers or oxygen tanks, hoping to fuck I could borrow someone's illegal concealed carry firearm, and imagining what the officer was gonna say about the black guy with the gun in a room full of veterans," said Sam.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    538
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    3649
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Well, Sam," said Steve seriously, "When one swan takes a shine to another swan, sometimes they decide to build a nest. And then they do a very special dance. And then in a little while, one of them lays eggs! And the two of them take care of the eggs and in a little while, the eggs hatch and they have babies! It's the miracle of life, Sam."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,087
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    290
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2264
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It's that day of the year again and it never gets easier for Sam.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    412
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    3256
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Steve Rogers is not a werewolf, and Sam is a little jealous.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    431
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2516
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Sam's sister is the worst. He can't just drop everything and babysit his niece. What if something happens?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    784
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    6529
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky knows it's going to be a bad one when Steve wakes up again, lifts his head up from the side of Bucky's fancy electric hospital bed, and says, "Now don't get mad until I explain."

    His voice has the tone that had meant he'd got into another fight and had two black eyes, or found a HYDRA nest and accidentally forgotten to tell Bucky or the other Howlies that he was going in to clear it out, or that he'd met a stray dog on the way home from the store and given it his share of meat for supper and was planning to eat boiled potatoes and stale bread, while expecting Bucky to eat his own share of the meat as if it didn't choke him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    968
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky's face hadn't changed, but Steve's jaw was sticking out at a angle best described as 'mulish'.

    "Okay," said Sam, taking a fortifying drink of his coffee. "You guys gonna use words any time soon, or do I tattle to Nat?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,564
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    927
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    7162
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The adventures of Steve Rogers, AMERICA moon, and a pretty effective argument against Meg drinking ever again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    956
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1256
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "You live with your best friend Steve in a giant tower in New York with seven or eight other crazy people and a cat named Cat and three robots and a voice that comes from the walls.

    You're doing better now."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1018
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The screen blipped and the person reappeared, now clutching a large Ragdoll cat who was purring even as the human muffled another scream in it's fur. "Omigod. Omigod. I'm calm. I'm calm. GUYS. So you remember how I said I hoped you'd send in reaction vids to the hairstyle tutorials? I think Captain America just sent me one, oh my fucking God." They squeezed the cat tightly enough that it let out a mildly protesting squeak. "OH GOD, Roadkill, I'm so sorry, Mommy's so excited right now." They let go of the cat and it sort of flowed into a puddle between them and the camera. "Okay. Okay. Roll video."

    Sam paused the video long enough to break out the ginger ale and vodka.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    841
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    8440
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Neighbor Cat was sitting at their doorstep, thoughtfully washing his snowy paw. He lifted his head when he saw Steve, and sniffed the air before he came up to Steve and began to twine affectionately around his ankles, purring and meowing all at once, interspersed with with hopeful chirrups. Steve supposed Sam wouldn't miss a little of the chicken. He sat down on the stoop and Neighbor Cat rubbed his head hopefully against Steve's knee.

    When he opened up the foil package, Neighbor Cat darted close, and in defiance of his usual perfect manners, snatched up the chicken and bolted for the fence, scaling it in two bounds, and disappeared into the gully like a shot.

    "What the hell?" said Steve, staring after him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,107
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    500
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    4443
  13. Tags
    Summary

    For once in his life, Steve has managed to time the day where he's still too weak to object to being spoiled but not so weak and sick that he's scaring the devil out of Bucky to line up with a day that Bucky can stay home and spoil him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    4012
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Pike wants to stay in the city and recover there while Number One takes their ship out on her next voyage. Number One completely agrees with him, so of course he finds himself on a train to Enterprise Village, where her friend Isabelle says they can find a quiet place for him to recover.

    Things get worse from there, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,040
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    615
  15. Tags
    Summary

    FLYBOY: you can't hide from it forever
    FLYBOY: whatever I'm not your therapist thank Christ and the fishes
    FLYBOY: yooo Rogers pick up your phoooone
    FLYBOY: when youre done sulking let me know if you want to get ice cream while JB has his appt
    FLYBOY: the fancy ice cream shop has a new fancy flavor with bacon in it :D
    S ROGERS: In my day we had vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry and we were grateful for it.
    FLYBOY: cry more, white boy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,726
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    444
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    4972
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Steve genuinely doesn't know what's worse: that someone had recorded what cologne he had worn on the possibly three occasions he had bothered to wear it, or that a company thought it would be profitable to specially manufacture a supply of it for him.

    It's not that he doesn't appreciate the gesture. It's more that it reminds him of everything he lost in the ice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,980
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    567
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    4257
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "you must have a wish," says the lady.

    "i ain't got money," says bucky, still frozen in place. "i was just --"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,208
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    3133
  18. Tags
    Summary

    There's no way even Steve's subconscious is screwed up enough to come up with 'and then I went shopping for a ring to marry my best friend with Howard Stark's son's ladyfriend helping me pick one out at Tiffany's while Howard Stark's son lurked behind us pretending not to be deeply interested in the proceedings'.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    981
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    8288
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky knows it's going to be a bad one when Steve wakes up again, lifts his head up from the side of Bucky's fancy electric hospital bed, and says, "Now don't get mad until I explain."

    His voice has the tone that had meant he'd got into another fight and had two black eyes, or found a HYDRA nest and accidentally forgotten to tell Bucky or the other Howlies that he was going in to clear it out, or that he'd met a stray dog on the way home from the store and given it his share of meat for supper and was planning to eat boiled potatoes and stale bread, while expecting Bucky to eat his own share of the meat as if it didn't choke him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    1339
    Bookmarks:
    195
    Hits:
    15894
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You live with your best friend Steve in a giant tower in New York with seven or eight other crazy people and a cat named Cat and three robots and a voice that comes from the walls.

    You're doing better now.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    1038
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    8791

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