1 - 20 of 110 Works by lazulisong

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "They think you paid me to be here," hisses Eggsy.

    Harry stares at him. "I made your favorite dinner and I have to let your wretched beast sleep on the bed for a month," he says flatly.

    "No, they think you paid me to be here," says Eggsy.

    "My dear boy," says Harry, "do you think all these third wives married my classmates out of the purity of their affections?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,240
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    187
    Kudos:
    1437
    Bookmarks:
    252
    Hits:
    17707
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky loves cats, which, on mature consideration, Sam's not surprised by at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    295
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2959
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Harry is too old and too frightening to force to dance with infants just out of the schoolroom; he bows and makes his pretty to Lady Triffleston and moves toward Unwin. He's distracted once or twice by people greeting him, but he keeps an eye on Unwin and sees the moment when Unwin realizes that Harry is in the room and drifting toward him. The boy's head snaps up and his eyes widen. Harry's too far away to see the way his lashes flutter as he blinks rapidly -- once -- twice -- and looks around for a way to escape.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,070
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    477
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    4822
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Bruv, I don't know what you're thinking, but I ain't going to do it," Eggsy tells him.

    "A pity," says Merlin, sighing. "Half the trouble I have is convincing the rotten little beasts to keep their knots to themselves."

    Eggsy can't even argue. Alphas are the worst.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,224
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    1126
    Bookmarks:
    242
    Hits:
    11143
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Steve genuinely doesn't know what's worse: that someone had recorded what cologne he had worn on the possibly three occasions he had bothered to wear it, or that a company thought it would be profitable to specially manufacture a supply of it for him.

    It's not that he doesn't appreciate the gesture. It's more that it reminds him of everything he lost in the ice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1453
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Sam thought he got free of this shit when he retired. Bucky could have told him better.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    1274
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    9712
  7. Tags
    Summary

    steve rogers: captain america. dirty rotten cheating cheater that cheats like a cheater.

    tony stark: iron man. biggest whiny baby at losing at prime/not prime.

    together, they drive sam wilson crazier.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,730
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    699
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    6793
  8. Tags
    Summary

    translation。翻译。

    Steve举手:“那时候你在哪儿呢?”他看上去有点怕听到回答。

    “我正他妈的在地上匍匐前进,希望有谁违法藏了把枪进来能借我用一下,还得小心避开拐杖和氧气罐。那地面,从禁烟令之前就没人拖过!哦,我还一直想着,等到时候警察看见满屋子老兵、一个黑人拿着枪的时候会干出点啥。”

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    120
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "There's no way even Steve's subconscious is screwed up enough to come up with 'and then I went shopping for a ring to marry my best friend with Howard Stark's son's ladyfriend helping me pick one out at Tiffany's while Howard Stark's son lurked behind us pretending not to be deeply interested in the proceedings'."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    908
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "Bucky knows it's going to be a bad one when Steve wakes up again, lifts his head up from the side of Bucky's fancy electric hospital bed, and says, "Now don't get mad until I explain."

    His voice has the tone that had meant he'd got into another fight and had two black eyes, or found a HYDRA nest and accidentally forgotten to tell Bucky or the other Howlies that he was going in to clear it out, or that he'd met a stray dog on the way home from the store and given it his share of meat for supper and was planning to eat boiled potatoes and stale bread, while expecting Bucky to eat his own share of the meat as if it didn't choke him."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1269
  11. Tags
    Summary

    By that Sam actually meant Steve was a super-perfectionist asshole who was very upset that he couldn't bake for shit and had once been defeated by "anybody can make these -- Clint can make these" cookies and spent a week sulking about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    915
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    7280
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Super short scenes and drabbles from the Sam Doesn't Deserve These Assholes series. Mostly things that don't quite work with the larger stories but are more-or-less complete as they stand. Some scenes may show up in later stories! WE JUST DON'T KNOW.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    199
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    441
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    5885
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Q: What do you call a brunet and a redhead in a room full of blonds?

    A: All the brains in the room.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,232
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    1352
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    18600
  14. Tags
    Summary

    there was no way Kate Bishop meeting Bucky Barnes was going to go well for anybody, except maybe the dog.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,058
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    738
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5496
  15. Tags
    Summary

    SO OMG YOU GUYS I had like three days off because of this fucking flu thing going around and then I had my weekend, and I barely could move from the bed, even to the couch, so I lay there miserably and marathoned Kamen Rider AMERICA. IT IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,396
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1123
  16. Tags
    Summary

    bucky and peggy's first meeting in seventy odd years goes approximately as well as you might expect.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,796
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    1494
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    11759
  17. Tags
    Summary

    When he took the pile of Tupperware into the kitchen, he almost stumbled over Barton's dog, who was lying in the middle of the kitchen with the expression of a martyr and the fart-aura of a minor nuclear weapon. He looked up at Sam and rolled over to expose his half-bald, stinky stomach, and Sam said, "What the hell."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,154
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    843
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    9564
  18. Tags
    Summary

    lysapadin asked:

    What are Sam and his two pet assholes up to on Turkey Day?

    I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BRO.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    636
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    645
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    9832
  19. Tags
    Summary

    He must doze off sitting up, because the next thing he knows there's a big hand cupping his face with gentle care and Steve's voice crooning, "Bucky, Bucky, hey, Buck."

    He blinks once, twice, and Steve's face resolves itself in front of him. Even his face is different.

    "Stevie, what did you do to yourself?" he says.

    "It's a long story," says Steve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    681
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    5611
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "A scrap I had started of Bucky vs modern Halloween, which I don't think I'm going to finish but does feature Steve's Horrible Childhood Reminisces that I thought were pretty funny anyway. Also, Jodi! Very briefly."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    786

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