1 - 20 of 113 Works by jedusaur

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "You're over thirty, right?" Tamika asks. "I need to find someone over thirty to interview for school."

    They'll be pounding down the door, then. There aren't many people that old in Night Vale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    145
  2. Tags
    Summary

    What the hell kind of porn name is “Destitute Daddy,” anyway? Out of morbid curiosity, Derek grabs the computer again and types it into the search bar, because revisiting last night’s poor life decisions is always a stellar plan.

    (or: the personal-finance-blogging AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,986
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    1181
    Bookmarks:
    251
    Hits:
    9168
  3. Tags
    Summary

    And when he was tired,
    he would sleep in her shade.
    (she loved him best when he was asleep)
    (he never woke up with quite the same color eyes)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    123
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Once storytellers told tales to village audiences around a fire. Now I type "SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU" into a box and, far away, you turn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    109
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The lesson here, Susie thinks, is that tricking Death is tricky business. How do you outwit the personification of oblivion? Chess, obviously, won’t be the answer.

    Or: Susie plays Calvinball with Death.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    327
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Micropodfics of @Short_Shifting's hockey microfics on twitter as read by Rhea314, Duckgirlie, Bessyboo, Winekitteh, Jiele, Knight_Tracer

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    562
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “There’s a problem here,” said Dan.

    “Yes, there is,” Casey agreed.

    “There’s a problem, and I think I know what it is.”

    Casey looked down at his flaccid penis and then back up at Dan. “I’d say it’s pretty clear what the problem is.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    758
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    228
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The first one is just a doodle on scrap paper, a quick little sketch of himself with a knife in his neck.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    722
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    504
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Seabs rests his fingertips on Jon's shoulder. "I'm gonna try scratching you up first," he says. "Less risk of it affecting your game."

    Jon nods. He's pretty sure it won't be enough, but he's grateful for anything Seabs will give him right now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,042
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1234
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A drawing of Mark and Lucas hanging out on the couch, each doing their thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    142
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Seabs has 'em.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1009
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Melissa’s plan is to finish nursing school, get her RN license, work nights as a nurse to support herself while she gets her bachelor’s degree on a pre-med track, and then take out some colossal student loans and go for the MD. Then maybe she’ll think about starting a family.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,405
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    365
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Asses aren’t normally Zhenya’s favorite--he’s pretty traditional, a boob man with women and a cock man with men--but given a choice between Sid’s ass and anyone else’s anything, he’ll proudly wear the ass-man label. It’s fucking exceptional.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    374
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    9090
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A man has needs, all right, and Jack just isn’t built to take on the oral hygiene of life alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    224
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When I'm Ron, when I'm Ron
    You're gonna kiss me when I'm Ron

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    239
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    368
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "You feel there's a more realistic approach they could take to writing about my dick in your arse?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1543
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Captain America meets Universe Man in a grimy subway station at three in the morning, which is kind of poetic if you think about it on a metaphorical level, which Steve generally tries not to do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,143
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    351
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "What's a ray gun?" asks Grace.

    "Don't worry about it," says her father. "Just stay close to grownups when you're outside, and never go out of the city. There's lots of scary things out there."

    Grace likes scary things.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    475
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Sid gets tested before the draft. There are laws against teams asking prospects about their causes of death, but it helps your chances to offer up the information. Not that Sid has to worry about whether he'll get drafted, but his agent says it would be better not to have the media all speculating.

    They end up speculating anyway, because Pat decides that's far preferable to telling them all that Sid's cause of death is HOCKEY.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    677
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1550
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “You played wonderfully today, Akira,” his father says as their house comes into sight.

    I didn’t play, though, Akira thinks. “Thank you, Father,” he says.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    477

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