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  1. Tags
    Summary

    But since high school basketball is basically a network of everyone in each other’s business anyways, news starts to spread around pretty fast.

    Kagami's gay, he dates athletes, and they're unusually exceptional in their field. Aomine wasn't even aware there were THAT many people that swung that way until this all started, apparently Kagami's dick was magic and able to summon every gay athlete in the area.

    Doesn't have a type, Aomine's ass.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,103
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    281
    Bookmarks:
    27
  2. Tags
    Summary

    He's Tony Stark, talks with Tony's voice, has the same gestures, with the bravado and then some.

    But he's not Mr. Stark.

    "How long has he been like this?" Peter has so many complicated feelings right now especially at how obvious it is the other teen (he looks like he's Peter's age which again so complicated) is definitely checking him out.

    [Peter trying and failing to deal with complicated relationship issues while on his first year of university. Tony makes matters worse in true Tony Stark fashion by regressing back to being 18.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,140
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    20
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "So...that happened." Shiro begins again, coughing and trying to look like their fearless leader and not like someone who deflowers seventeen year olds. It's not exactly taking, especially when Lance realizes Hunk is staring at Shiro's arm. "Hunk, come on—I washed it."

    "I'd hope so." Hunk turns to Lance, and Lance is starting to get a little offended because hey, if anything why were there not congrats in order—Shiro is hot and Keith's dick and his mouth were great, so what gives. "How are you—are you—dating? Is it both of them? Your mouth is NOT that big and you're like a TWIG—HOW HAVE THEY NOT BROKEN YOU ."

    "First off, it's complicated." Lance says, frowning. "Also excuse me, I'm like DOUBLE Keith in muscle mass."

    "—Yeah, no. You aren't."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,579
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    473
    Bookmarks:
    38
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Damn puberty.

    Lance blames space.

    Space puberty.

    Space puberty is making life super difficult for him--especially since now, he can't STOP looking at Shiro and his buff arms and his great thighs and his great actually everything.

    [Lance, due to the wonders of Space Puberty, is super into Shiro. Only problem is, he's not exactly sure what else to do besides desperately obsess over how hot their leader is.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,536
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    761
    Bookmarks:
    85
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Tony considers him for a minute, then does the decent thing and asks the loaded question.

    “Are you asking me to be your date...to prom?”

    “Oh yeah, that’d go so well—I’d love to start a riot at my school.”

    “So then—”

    “—You doing anything AFTER?” Peter looks at him, both hopeful and some failed attempt at sultry.

    It’s sadly endearing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    210
    Bookmarks:
    20
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "Do you even remember them?" Howard's son asks, arm around his neck, ready to put him down like the mad dog he feels.

    "I remember all of them." Bucky says, as the metal closes tighter and tighter. Tony Stark has no idea how much Bucky DOES remember.

    Particularly of Howard Stark.

    [The Winter Soldier killed the one man who went against orders to help Steve rescue Bucky all those years ago--Bucky tries to cope.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    8
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It probably doesn't help that Tony gives Aunt May lavish gifts, treats them both to expensive dinners, and flirts with her shamelessly. He seems like all the guys that hit on Aunt May—Tony says that he's only paying her back for stealing Peter away from her all the time.

    Aunt May always laughs and accepts it all—saying he could hardly be that bad of an influence.

    She has no idea. Tony isn't joking—it's his sincere penance for the strange idea he has that he's corrupted Peter somehow.

    Sometimes...Tony Stark is full of shit.

    [Tony and Peter both have some adjusting to do and they're not dating but they're probably dating and maybe in love.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,430
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    22
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "It would seem...Mr. Stark's repeated presence at the home of Mr. Parker has caught the attention of the local press." The Vision tries to summarize politely. "There is an incorrect yet prevailing notion that he and the young Mr. Parker are of an amorous relationship due to his wealth."

    "You're saying that everyone thinks that Tony is Peter Parker's sugar daddy--" Rhodey turns almost amazed. "I thought NOTHING would top 'Tony Stank', I'm so happy I was wrong. Because you can't keep a low profile, and because Peter's a minor and hasn't told anyone about his superpowers, people think you're HIS SUGAR DADDY."

    [The one where Tony's life is going to shit but the media still finds time to gossip about his new relationship with Peter Parker.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    492
    Bookmarks:
    65
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "--You are human. Or you were anyway. Listen to what I'm saying, jesus christ." Nathan's angry now, and the hair on the back of Caleb's neck rises. He's not sure what to think of the feeling, if he imagined it, if it's programming or instinct. "Your consciousness is human, most of your body is a machine. You're not like the AIs--your brain: human's, your arms and legs: cybernetics, your torso: human's. You're not all cybernetic: I would've pushed for a full replacement but you were sixteen at the time and it was already dicey. It's fine--I discovered a lot from you, seamless integration of the robotic and the physical. Helped me design Ava--well, Ava's prototype anyway."

    Caleb feels sick, wants to throw up Kyoko's lunch. Wants to run, wants to hide. Needs to escape.

    Could Ava tell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    8
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Napoleon first suspects something is amiss when Illya sways just the littlest bit after they've committed treason against both their agencies and the tape quickly becomes ash in the air.

     

    (Five times Napoleon noticed something was a little off about Illya and the one time he knew exactly what was going on.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,951
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    198
    Bookmarks:
    27
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "Henry Hammer? That's your alias's NAME?" Napoleon scans Illya's fake passport just to reaffirm what he's just READ.

    Illya just gives him a blank stare.

    "Peril, you sound like an adult entertainer." Napoleon says, which to be honest, is just adding to the nightmare-like quality of this mission. “Henry Hammer. The man, the legend.”

    "Is just cover. I have chosen name based on American statistics, Cowboy.” Illya replies as if he doesn't understand how 'Henry Hammer' is perhaps the most obvious fake name that Napoleon has ever HEARD.

    "Porn statistics maybe. You might as well go with Shaft Mcharddick or even Dick Strongbutt." Napoleon would hope that Illya would have more common sense than to watch adult videos to improve his seduction and yet…"Couldn’t you have picked something…classy? Richard, for example, is a decidedly normal name."

    "Yes, because ‘Dick hammer’ is far more dignified."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,776
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    30
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Steve hesitantly reaches out and takes the object in Tony’s arms to survey it. 'It' being a pillow upon which was an almost frighteningly accurate illustration of Loki, their on-and-off again nemesis. "I don't--how did you even get this? Who would MAKE this?"

    Clearly Steve doesn't find the attention-to-detail on Loki's costume as hilarious as Tony does, which whatever. Like he said. Killjoy.

    A.K.A The one time Tony buys Thor the world's worst souvenir and it somehow worked out in the end anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    8
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “He’s lovely, just as beautiful as you are Madam Vinciguerra—you must be so proud.” Illya’s glower is instant, and Victoria gives an equally charming titter. She is proud, but not for the reasons Mr. Deveny must be thinking.

    Illya, after all, was the one who taught her how to fire a gun.

    She raised him well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,600
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    49
  14. Tags
    Summary

    They look, for all intents and purposes LIKE a typical bridal party, complete with tiny, adorable bride-to-be decked with a ribbon sash and glowing LED penis-crown. The bridal party even has matching obnoxious t-shirts and different colored feather boas and flashing LED Malibu shades. They look every inch the picture of friendly debauchery that Napoleon has come to predict.

    And yet, a giant blond man that fits every single one of Napoleon's fantasies steps in front of the party, protectively. He pushes up his flashing shades, businesslike and Napoleon almost misses the 'BEST BITCH' proclaimed loudly on the other man's chest in pink, glittering font.

    "Teller, party of seven--I make reservation." The vision says and Napoleon stares.

    aka Illya is the shared maid/man of honor for his best friend Gaby Teller and her fiancée; Napoleon is the pushy, hot waiter that won't stop hitting on him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    68
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Warden Solo smiles but there's no mirth in it, instead he raises his goblet: "In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice."

    Illya finds the strength to actually throw himself at the man, pure frustration giving him power. He doesn't manage much, but he does knock the drink from Solo's hand.

    It's a remarkable precedent for their future life together.

     

    The one where Illya is a mage from Kirkwall terrified of becoming an apostate and Napoleon is the Grey Warden who invokes the rite of conscription to save his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    8
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "All I'm saying is, there must be a plausible reason you put a COUNT and his posse in the hospital." Napoleon signals to get off the highway, getting ever closer to his place. "At least explain that one."

    "He had soft bones." Illya finally manages after a moment, Gaby cackles, high-fiving him. The both of them are still so full of vitriol.

    Napoleon meets her gaze in the mirror and it's more amusement than disapproval.

     

    The one where Gaby and Illya make the mistake of attending Uncle Rudi's 50th Birthday--Napoleon drives the getaway car and gets some answers.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    21
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "I can't believe you want to date me." Scott says for the millionth time because this is THE FALCON. And he wasn't lying when he said that he WAS his favorite superhero.

    Sam Wilson flashes his tv-perfect white teeth. Scott does not swoon because Scott has done hard time, has fought convicts and evil billionaires alike and he does not SWOON.

    "I'll pick you up at eight. Try not to embarrass yourself too much." Sam laughs, before turning on his heel and getting back on his bike. It's all very rom-com.

    "...Damn homie, you got it bad." Luis observes, swatting him on the back. "Cassie's gonna love her new step-dad."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,376
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    609
    Bookmarks:
    78
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "You MARRIED me off to a STRANGER?" Gaby is exhausted but she is furious enough to kill.

    "Mail-order groom from Russia--it was a highly rated website." Napoleon dodges a shoe thrown at his head. Gaby reaches for another of her flats, and aims again. "It was supposed to be a joke."

    "You filled out a green card form in MY name." Napoleon, even full of fine champagne, still dodges faster than she ever could. Damn him. Damn his irritating attitude. Damn the fact he's quite possibly her best and only friend and alas she cannot kill him. "What part of that is a JOKE? I just got my CITIZENSHIP."

    "A very elaborate joke?" Napoleon tries. Gaby's glare turns murderous.

     

    The one where Gaby runs her own garage, Napoleon is a male model/her bff, and Illya is the mail-order groom Napoleon orders for her.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    210
    Bookmarks:
    26
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Hypothetically, since vampires don't exist Agent Kuryakin...I'd ask you where you've hidden all the bodies." Napoleon says, heart pounding in his ears and wondering if Illya can hear it too.

    "Hypothetically then, I do not need to hide bodies, there are many who volunteer for me to feed from them. " Illya's almost smirking and when he opens his mouth Napoleon realizes just how sharp his teeth are. "I would assure that neither you or Gaby would be in danger...unless you wanted me to bite you."

    AU where everything is pretty much the same, except this time Illya is a vampire. Napoleon is very interested.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    405
    Bookmarks:
    76
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "Would you like anything else, sir?" The girl behind the counter, (Gaby, her sky blue nameplate reads) smirks, actively smirks at him. "And no, you can't have his number."

    "What if I simply wanted to give my compliments? “ Gaby considers him for a moment, then the line of women behind him.

    "You got 15 minutes?" Technically Napoleon doesn't, but he's not about to go rushing back to Victoria's fits of rage regardless.

    AKA the one where Illya is a hot baker, Napoleon is in love and Gaby is entertained.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,654
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    1020
    Bookmarks:
    171

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