emilyshka

alcoholic dickbags are the best



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The theory of extrapolative synchronization of the mirror neurons was debunked back when he was still in his teens, so Jack is reluctant to mention that he can smell Bitty's pies baking from across campus.

    Language:
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    49,957
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    02 Jun 2016

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    Watching a college boy jerk off online for money is not what Jack Zimmermann ever saw himself doing. Getting to know that boy is something he expected even less.

    Language:
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    53,988
    Chapters:
    7/7
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    01 May 2016

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Fuck you,” Leia says. “Who said anything about getting married? Did Luke say anything about getting married?”

    “Luke is not involved,” Luke says, not looking up.

    “Hey, Luke is not involved,” Han says, pointing at her. She’s going to bite his finger off, then they’ll see how much pointing he can do with it. “This is about you and me, princess.”

    “There’s not going to be a you and me,” Leia says. “I’m going to have this baby with C-3PO.”

    C-3PO says, “Madam,” tremulous.

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    1/1
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    26 Apr 2016

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    Of course, the transfer kid gets mentioned because transfers are rare, but the news isn’t that exciting. In fact, according to Laura, no one even seems to know his first name. The only thing anyone has really figured out about him is that he’s American. And that’s not exactly hard because he obviously has an accent.

    The only thing Derek really knows is that, despite other reports, he seems quiet enough, prefers to work alone, and has the most amazing shade of amber eyes that Derek has ever seen.

    Not that he’s looking. Obviously.

    OR: A Harry Potter AU where Stiles is a Slytherin transfer student and Derek is the grumpy Gryffindor who falls in love with him.

    There are also potions, elves, and falcons involved. Oh, and illegal use of magic. Obviously.

    Language:
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    28,282
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    1/1
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    08 Jun 2015

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    As a supervillain supercriminal contract worker with a morality deficit, Clint Barton leads a glamorous life. You know, stolen cars, dangerous women, a really confusing relationship with a meddling do-gooder, the works. It's pretty awesome. Except for, uh, medical bills, the mob, and being on the run all the time. That part isn't all that awesome.

    (A supervillain AU where Clint shoots arrows at people and gets beat up a lot. So, not really that much of an AU.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,399
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
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    22 Apr 2015

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